How to deal with depression on maternity leave. Depression on maternity leave: what we are afraid to admit to ourselves

No need to think that depression on maternity leave is a temporary phenomenon. Often it turns into prolonged stress that destroys not only relationships, but the whole life.

Fatigue. It is most pronounced in the first months after the birth of the baby. From here appear irritability, apathy, alienation. Here you need to realize that all this is temporary, and literally in a month and a half, when the baby grows up, everything will begin to change.
Lack of variety. A young mother is forced to constantly be in a confined space. In order to eliminate this problem, you need to expand your vision: you can also visit with your child, walk along different routes, go shopping, etc.
Dissatisfaction with appearance. After childbirth, the figure of a woman changes a lot. And this is noticed not only by herself, but also by her husband. Hence the lack of attention and irritability. Conclusion: you need to urgently establish nutrition and be sure to play sports.
The Bad Mom Syndrome. It is pronounced in women who have given birth to their first child. It seems to them that they can’t cope with anything, they don’t know anything and they are doing everything wrong. In such cases, you need to listen to adults more, and all words should be taken not as a desire to teach, but as advice to make it easier for you.

Depression on maternity leave. What to do

Find your favorite thing

Things to do while in maternity leave:

Work at home. If the nature of your work activity allows you, then take some of the work home. And you will be busy, and you will get money.
Hobby. Think about what you like to do: maybe it's embroidery, mounting mini-presentations, sewing, running your own blog, etc. The only thing that must be taken into account is the peculiarity of your daily routine and the behavior of the child. Do you have enough time and patience to do what you love, without sacrificing attention to loved ones?
Self-development. You can increase the level of your knowledge through literature, the Internet, as well as with the help of special courses (manicure, nail extension, driving, etc.).

Don't forget your vacation

Here are a few ways you can help yourself get out of depression on maternity leave:

Day dream. When you put your baby to bed, lie down yourself, because this is great vacation for the body.
Relaxing bath before bed. While you're doing your evening chores, turn on the water to fill the tub so you don't have to waste time later. It is recommended to add medicinal salts and flavored foam.
Sports. Do you think that this is not a vacation? Are you so tired, and then you still need to do the exercises? In vain. After all, nothing lifts the mood and tone of the body like sports. Of course, not immediately, but after regular training. No wonder they say: "In motion - life!". In addition to everything, it is quickly possible to return the figure to normal after childbirth.
Reading books and magazines. Thus, you can learn something new or immerse yourself in a different, fictional world.
Communication with dear people . Often, in the process of carrying out all the affairs, a mother simply has no time to talk with loved ones for a long time or answer calls, so you need to carve out some time for this. It is better to do this when you are not busy with anything and not annoyed.

Walking without children

This required condition. Every mom is simply obliged to get out of the house at least 2 hours a week. This is not a whim, not an identification from a child, but a simple prudent attitude towards oneself and one's psyche.

Important!
Try to make this time spent without a child as different from your everyday life as possible. If you watch some show at home on the couch, there will be no point in such a rest. But if you go to meet your girlfriends, arrange with your husband romantic date, have fun with a trip, going to the cinema, bowling, etc. - all this will noticeably affect your mood in general.

Search for new like-minded people

An excellent option for this is the women's forum. By registering on the selected site, you can create own blogs, diaries, notes, as well as comment on other people's observations, read interesting and useful information.

The biggest advantage here is that you yourself choose the topic that interests you and that you want to talk about.

If you do not have time to sit at the computer, expand your circle of acquaintances. It is easiest for mommy to do this on the playground. So you will be able not only to find a good companion for a walk, but also, possibly, to make a good friend.

Holiday all over

Learn to live positively. Make even the most ordinary trip for everyday things more interesting for yourself: look more carefully at the assortment, smell the smells, give preference to something unusual. So even buying detergents will be more fun for you.
Look in some online store for interesting gizmos for home improvement. These can be a wide variety of shoe racks, hangers, kitchen utensils, flower pots, etc. After all, you have the opportunity to make the world around you more unusual.
When buying clothes for yourself and family start opting for bright things. Psychologists have long proven their ability to positively influence mood.

Accept any help

It does not matter why you refuse help - the desire to be independent, long-standing grievances, disagreements in education, etc. You must understand that this reason is on the list of those that became the result of your depression. After all, it's for your own good.

The person who comes to meet you, offering help, knows what he is doing, which means that it is not a burden to him - he wants to make it easier for you. So why offend him with your refusals?

What to do to a husband

Take an interest in the health and condition of your wife. Maybe sometimes she's just too shy to let you know what's bothering her, or she just doesn't want to be a burden.
Take on some of the household chores. She should feel your concern.
Compliment her. Remember that women love with their ears.
Don't insist on intimacy. Since she is now hard morally, with your demands you will only worsen the situation. Besides the fact that she will fall into even more depression, your relationship as a whole will gradually begin to crumble.
Try to “stir up” her with pleasant impressions.. It can be gifts or a good time.
Don't tell her that she can't do something. Just kindly help her.

Involve your husband in raising your child to the maximum. Talk frankly with your husband, let him know that it’s hard for you to cope with some responsibilities. The conversation should be conducted exclusively in a positive way - without scandals, screams and reproaches. Use tricks: say that you want your child to be very similar to him, and this can be helped joint games and all communication with the child. But be prudent: if your spouse gets up early in the morning for work, do not ask him to get up all night to calm the child.
Read development books and upbringing of children. There is written a lot useful information. Of these, not only a young mother, but also adult woman, who has successfully raised several children, learns something new. Often there are examples of situations from life. Such techniques make it easier to come to certain conclusions. Moreover, after reading this literature, many mothers will understand that the nervousness and whims of the child are not a consequence of their inept handling of the baby, but the peculiarities of age-related changes.
Enter the reward system. Set goals for yourself throughout the day. Once you successfully complete them, make yourself happy: buy goodies, things, take more time to do what you love, etc.
Don't lock yourself in. Communicate more. Preferably not just with friends. Discuss different questions: raising a child, relations with her husband (in in general terms, without details), your own feelings, etc. In response, you will hear a lot of advice, examples of how to do it and how not to.
Find a babysitter. If relatives do not have the opportunity to help you raise a child, a person offering his services for money will help you to be distracted. A nanny can be found as a full working week and only on weekends. If the first option gives access to work, the second - for your own rest.
Do not exaggerate. After all, many women have gone through childbirth. And some - more than once. Think about the fact that you were able to give life to a new person. And this cannot be the cause of depression on maternity leave.

Video: Life after childbirth: how not to go crazy

Yesterday you were so cheerful and cheerful, today, sitting on maternity leave to care for a child, do you feel overwhelmed and unhappy? This should definitely be corrected and not run, allowing depression to command you. How to do it? Specific descriptive situations will help you find your way out.

You've probably heard the term burnout. This means that the internal supply of energy and strength in a person is depleted over time if it is not replenished. The reason for this may be, among other things, nervous strain. If we talk about mom on maternity leave, then the causes of burnout will be lack of sleep, malnutrition, fear for the baby. Here they may well provoke such a burnout. Agree that no one will remove you from the post of mother, which means that now you work 24 hours and you have the most demanding boss - your child. Be honest, do you put off eating to please your baby? Do you also dream about rest and extra 15 minutes in the bathroom? Are you always on guard and ready to act? Keep in mind that at this pace you are confidently moving towards the process of burnout.

I hope that the examples below will be useful to you, as they say: "Forewarned is forearmed."

A state of chronic irritability.

If you don’t have the opportunity to sometimes switch from your immediate duties of caring for a baby, household chores - in a word, you don’t have assistants, then after a while you begin to understand that you’ll boil a little more and explode. You are annoyed by everything that happens around: any misconduct of a child, inattention of a husband can serve as a reason for a quarrel. You scream, get offended, and then cry because you understand that you are wrong, you apologize to your loved ones for the breakdown. But a little time passes, and a quarrel may arise again ... It's just some kind of vicious circle turns out. But, fortunately, it is quite possible to break it!

In order not to make misunderstood tantrums, first accept the fact that you are not infinite, and you need to rest. And for this you need to learn to allocate time for yourself personally. Going to the salon for a haircut, coloring, manicure, massage and other feminine joys is a great opportunity to pamper yourself and go out to people, change the situation. Maybe it will just be a meeting with a friend in a cafe or buying something for yourself. It doesn't matter what you do - the main thing is to do it for yourself! And then, when you have a little rest, think about whether you are planning your day correctly, and are you asking yourself a lot of work? Maybe it's time to stop rushing? Believe me, doing several things at the same time, you do not save time, you just wear yourself out irrationally! Pay attention to this please.

Mom is in a state of deficiency of the internal reserve of forces.

It will be about the insufficiency of your internal resources, thanks to which you rejoice every day, charge those around you with your enthusiasm, good mood and enjoy taking care of your little one.

Whatever calm child, but it grows and requires attention: first it's teeth, tummy, then crawling, first steps, and so on. Sleepless nights, maximum attention and anxiety for the health of the crumbs exhaust you, fatigue accumulates, and already because of it you become inattentive, even absent-minded in something. And now you start to fill yourself with bruises and bumps, knocking your toes against furniture corners, trampling your fingers, chopping vegetables, you begin to forget the important things that you planned the day before. Attention becomes not so sharp, and memory becomes “leaky”. By completely unconsciously saving your strength, you infringe on the child in your tenderness, you smile less often, and the people around you also lack your attention. Because of this lack of internal reserve, you may soon become more withdrawn. Sad prospect, right? How to fix everything?

A new hobby, a kind of emotional shake-up, will help. It's about about a new hobby (as an option). It can be needlework (knitting, embroidery, scrapbooking, modeling, jewelry making, and so on), learning foreign language(you don’t even need to go to courses for this - everything can be found on the Internet), you can become an online consultant on a thematic forum. Choosing an occupation to your liking is a matter of your talents and desires. And then you yourself will not notice how it will appear free time in a seemingly completely "crammed" schedule for a new hobby. And who knows, maybe after a while your hobby will become your profession. Believe in yourself, in your strengths - even on maternity leave, you can grow professionally and, doing what you love, get rid of psychological discomfort.

If you have a breakdown

Excessive nervous strain is fraught not only with breakdowns and scandals, it may appear psychosomatic problems that affect health. It can also be problems with pressure, disruption of work gastrointestinal tract, headaches, may decrease sexual attraction to her husband and so on. No wonder they say that all diseases are from the nerves.

And how can you help your nervous system? You know, in this case, you can’t do without the help of specialists. It is one thing to get enough sleep and calm down, and another thing when there are malfunctions in the body. Do not put off a visit to the doctor: the sooner you start therapy, the sooner you will return to your normal state.

Initiative and enthusiasm beyond measure are punishable.

When a child is born, a young mother, being in a state of emotional upsurge, tries not to leave the baby for a second, postponing for later and “somehow later” such important things for her as eating, proper rest, sleep. Such refusal or even renunciation will not lead to anything good. Remember, your internal forces are limited, and more than they are - will not be, if they are not replenished. It's like constantly drawing from the source and not giving it the opportunity to recover. Sooner or later you will see the bottom. A month, three months, maybe half a year, maybe a year you will last in non-stop mode, dragging everything on yourself, and then? But the family members around you are already, to put it mildly, accustomed to the fact that you do everything yourself, and your sudden impulse to abandon this may affect the family not the most in the best way. The child will be capricious without you while you are resting - he is used to being always with you. And the husband does not want to sit with the baby - even, thanks to your excessive guardianship, he does not know which side to approach him and where diaper toys are in the house. So here's your recovery plan internal forces can fail without even starting to be implemented, and the resources of the body, meanwhile, are melting and melting.

And what to do? How to be? There is an exit. If suddenly your situation is similar to the one described above - do not expect an emotional breakdown, act. Start with 30 minutes a day just for yourself. Let it be a cup of coffee or tea, but you have the right to drink it in absolute peace, listening to your favorite music or reading a book. There is such an old, bearded joke, key phrase which is the final chord of the mother: “Quiet, sha, I make you a happy mother!” So, start small, gradually bringing these 30 minutes to several hours a day, when you can be your own mistress. And do not say right away that it is unrealistic. The main thing is to want, set a goal and work to achieve it!

And finally.

Sitting at home, on maternity leave, very often young mothers “launch” themselves, plunging headlong into everyday life and completely forgetting about themselves, who were once loved. Monotonous everyday life with a small child and a list homework not very conducive to growth and development. No, of course, the daily small victories and good luck of the little one are pleasing, you are proud of them with pleasure and tell all your friends and relatives about it. Someone will rejoice with you, someone will just smile, but someone is not interested. But life doesn't stop there, does it?

Children are wonderful, and when they appear in the family, you understand that you have moved to a new level of your development. You and your spouse have become parents. And to live with the interests and concerns of the little ones, sharing everything with them - this is wonderful, but life is not limited solely to bottles, rattles and pots, cleaning. Do not be afraid to be interested in something else, in addition to household chores, arrange for yourself periodically emotional and psychological relief and shake-ups. Remember: your family needs you as a happy mother and wife!

Depression on maternity leave is a fairly common occurrence. Do not think that it appears temporarily. Prolonged stress can be hazardous to a woman's health. Consider why depression develops during maternity leave, how it manifests itself and how to avoid it.

Why is depression dangerous?

Each of us has heard of emotional burnout. The inner reserve of human strength is not unlimited. A person suffers from a depressed mood, his sleep is disturbed, he is overcome by suspiciousness, shyness, and indecision. All these are signs of depression, which often develops in women on maternity leave. If left untreated, this condition can become uncontrollable and cause harm.

Studies show that depression can be the cause of many diseases:

First of all, depression increases the risk of heart attack. Long-term depressed mood is a path to the development of cardiovascular pathologies.
With depression, nutrition is disturbed: a person is prone to use a large number sweets and products high content carbohydrates. And this is the reason for the development diabetes. Research shows that diabetes and depression are related illnesses.
Depressed people tend to be obese.
Prolonged depressed mood reduces mental capacity person.
Prolonged lack of treatment for depression is the cause of chronic pain. And often physiological causes such pains during a medical examination cannot be established. Treatment chronic pain when the mood is depressed, it becomes much more complicated.
People with depression have poor performance immune system. As a result, they are more likely to suffer from infectious diseases.
The worst thing is that depression is the cause of cancer.

Causes

Even if the child is calm, this does not mean that he does not require attention. Result - sleepless nights, constant tension of attention and anxiety for the state of health of a small creature. Forces gradually decrease, fatigue accumulates. Because of this, the mother becomes inattentive, tired, absent-minded.

Postpartum sadness and despondency develop for the following reasons:

Strong fatigue. It is most pronounced in the first time after childbirth. It is characteristic that young mothers feel increased irritability and even alienation.
Monotonous life. The first time after childbirth, a woman is near the baby, and this space does not change for her. There is no time left for communication, and even more entertainment. If every day is similar to each other and consists of a cycle of endlessly repeating events, then sooner or later emotional exhaustion.
changing appearance, women's dissatisfaction with their appearance. This is due to the fact that after childbirth, the figure of a woman changes. And this, in turn, is the cause of increased irritability, because efforts to be beautiful become futile.
Women who have had their first childbirth develop the so-called bad mother syndrome. They unreasonably think that they can’t do anything and can’t cope with the baby. In addition, all the words and advice of adults are perceived as teachings, which only aggravates the situation.
Lack of opportunities for self-realization and self-affirmation.
Lack of time for rest. A woman cannot be alone for at least half an hour, buy something, cook, watch TV, etc. Naturally, sooner or later, the nerves start to play pranks from this.
Limited or lack of communication. It often happens that a young mother has to communicate in a "childish" language. But natural need is communication with people. As a result, a woman with a high degree of probability may experience a nervous breakdown.

Symptoms

You can suspect depression in yourself by the following signs:

irritability (young mothers begin to annoy any little things);
increased fatigue;
drowsiness during the day, sleep disturbance at night;
a feeling of weakness that does not go away even after rest;
positive emotions cease to be a source of former joy;
the appearance of guilt, self-inferiority;
the appearance of a feeling of lack of time (a woman feels that she does not have the strength to perform ordinary duties);
declining emotional background;
severe emotional exhaustion, when a woman is not happy with anything;
she is overcome by thoughts of how to run away from home;
communication with her husband also does not bring any pleasure, which ultimately worsens the situation in the family.

Don't lose health

The period of caring for a child is very stressful for a woman. And there is no need to think that within 3 years the young mother will take a break from work. Quite the opposite: caring for a child is the very job, and very stressful and difficult.

How to get out of depression and how to prevent the development of chronic fatigue?

These tips will help new moms:

Condition wellness and cheerfulness is a dream in the afternoon. It is necessary to try to sleep during the day at the time when you put the baby to bed. This best holiday for a tired body.
Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath. She will remove negative emotions and tune in to night rest. Sleep from this will be much stronger. It is recommended to add a little to the water sea salt or natural essential oils.
You definitely need to play sports. Regular and easy exercise will raise your tone and drive away depression. Be sure to set aside time to practice fresh air: they allow you to feel the physical and emotional uplift.
Reading is the best way to occupy yourself during your leisure time.
Depression on maternity leave will disappear if you regularly communicate with those who are dear. Take some time to socialize and see how your mood improves.
Part of the responsibilities for caring for a child can be redistributed, given to a husband or grandmother. A young mother should devote at least an hour a day to rest. You don’t have to look up to other mothers, as they are busy raising a child and caring for him all day, because your health is completely different.
Under no circumstances should alcohol be consumed. It is not an antidepressant, and in most cases only exacerbates the problems.
Always set yourself realistic and achievable goals. This way you won't feel like you can't do anything.
You need to be able to determine for yourself the so-called crisis point, after which you need to quit some things and relax. Otherwise, emotional exhaustion is inevitable.

You need to accept the fact that rest, no matter how busy the schedule of the day, is necessary. After all, anyone, even the most strong body not iron. You need to find time for the most ordinary female joys: going to nail salon or a hairdresser, for a massage, etc. Even a meeting in a cafe with girlfriends can decorate the endless fuss.

Lesson options

Decree is not only the time of child care. If a woman uses her time rationally, she will be able to direct it to self-development, self-improvement and other useful things. Naturally, there will be no place for despondency on such a vacation.

Here are the most suitable ways to occupy yourself with useful and pleasant things:

Easy and hassle-free distant work. You can perform some of your work duties remotely, that is, at home. It's also a good way to make some money.
You can think about a pleasant pastime in your free time. This is sewing, knitting, etc. Start your own blog and fill it in: you did not know how interesting it is. The only thing that needs to be considered for this is the child's daily routine. It is recommended to adapt exactly to his regime.
Try to increase the intellectual level. Maternity leave is not a hindrance. Moreover, the time has come to improve some of your knowledge, to learn a foreign language.
Why not take a driving course while on maternity leave? Some women take advantage of this. Having mastered the art of manicure, nail extensions, etc., you can also make good money.
Even an ordinary trip to the store can be turned into a small holiday. To do this, just take a closer look at the range of goods, buy something pleasant. Even a small purchase can lift your spirits. And buying something for home improvement, you can upgrade it, which also helps fight depression.
Bright clothes can drive away longing and improve mood. It is even better if the family will walk around in cheerful clothes: this way you can arrange a holiday for everyone.
Don't be afraid to accept someone's help. Moreover, it is necessary to forgive long-standing grievances and accept life as it is.
Shutting yourself in is the worst thing that can happen. Try to discuss pressing issues with friends and relatives: this will make life brighter and more diverse.

Treatment

In some cases it is necessary to resort to drug treatment depression during maternity leave.

It is shown only in extreme cases when other means of influence do not help. Self-medication with antidepressants is by no means allowed.

Antidepressants are enough potent drugs. Most of them are used only under strict control, since even a slight excess of the dosage contributes to the occurrence of side effects.

Good and at the same time effective method get rid of depression - aromatherapy. Essential oils can be used in the bath. Once in the body, they contribute to the restoration peace of mind, cheer up. It is best that the selection of essential oils is carried out by a doctor: self-treatment oils in some cases can be harmful. All oils should be used only natural: artificial substitutes for oils are of little use. Best for the body essential oils lavender, lemon balm, rosemary, orange.

So, depression during childcare is quite preventable and treatable. However, it is still better not to bring yourself to such a state.

Few people are able to withstand a routine existence for three years and still remain a kind, sweet and full of strength person. And it's not just about physical fatigue, although she, of course, plays a role, but also in emotional burnout. It is common to all professionals working with people. And mom is quite a serious profession!

Symptoms of depression and emotional burnout:

weakness, drowsiness;
constantly reduced emotional background;
apathy, indifference to what is happening;
what used to bring joy or pleasure becomes uninteresting;
increased irritability, nervousness;
feeling like a bad mother;
the feeling that you are not coping with your duties, you can’t do anything and you don’t have time.

And now, for the hundred thousandth time, Little Red Riding Hood does not seem to you such an exciting thriller, and every performance in a home puppet theater, where you invariably get the role of a bear, becomes hard labor. And the children, unfortunately, behave terribly, and the husband does not understand anything. You are offended by the whole world and only dream of running away from home ... A familiar situation? Then it's time to understand the causes of this condition.

Causes of depression and emotional burnout

Physical exhaustion. Lack of sleep and malnutrition, which were not able to break you in your school years, now immediately make themselves felt.
Lack of variety. When every day is like the previous 10 and the next 10 and consists of a cycle of bottles, diapers, cereals and toys, you begin to feel like a hero of Groundhog Day. With only one difference: he could afford to have fun and throw himself off a cliff ...
Impossibility of self-realization. Most likely, the role of an uninterrupted food provider and cleaner is not the limit of your dreams, and therefore the thought that you are losing ground on all other fronts depresses you.
dissatisfaction with their appearance. Even if you have already restored your figure after childbirth, daily makeup, styling, as from a salon, and stilettos are unlikely to have a place in your life. This alone can make you feel discouraged.
Lack of time for yourself. Everyone knows that personal time is necessary for everyone. normal person. And everyone wants to relax, be alone, buy, watch and cook something for themselves. And when you have to devote every minute of your life to someone else (even your beloved baby), sooner or later your nerves can't stand it.
Lack of interlocutors and like-minded people. This is especially hard on mothers who, for one reason or another, are deprived of the company of grandmothers-girlfriends and are forced, while the husband is at work, to communicate only in the language of "Ku-ku" and "Mu-mu".

How not to reach such a life

Set yourself achievable goals. Not "raise a happy and handsome genius", but "feed and put to sleep". Most mothers feel that they are not coping with their tasks, precisely because they choose unattainable, global goals.
Forget about perfectionism. Even if you have a gold medal and a red diploma, remember that no one has managed to become an ideal parent who raised an ideal child. Nature does not tolerate perfection, which means that you should not even try to run ahead of the rest of the planet. Something will have to be sacrificed: not looking perfect, not washing the dishes every time after eating, or not always fulfilling the wishes of the baby.
Don't expect gratitude. You should not sacrifice your health and nerves, so that later you can reproach your child with the words "But I put my whole life on you." He doesn't have to be grateful. And even for porridge in the morning is not obliged to say "thank you." Just do what you do. In the end, which of you wanted whom?
Communicate with the child for pleasure, and not on duty. It’s better to play with the baby for 30 minutes what you like than to spend 2 hours on another developmental activity that is not interesting to you simply because “everywhere they write about it.”
Don't focus on others. And both on other children and on their parents. Your baby is unique. And maybe he does not quote Pushkin like a girl from the fifth floor, but, unlike her, he knows what a pot is. And no other mother can be an absolute example for you, because she has her own child, and you have yours.
Do not overload yourself and the baby. Of course, early development is a good thing, but everything should be in moderation. Developing activities (both at home and in groups) take a lot of time and effort from both children and parents. choose short games, because children are still not able to keep their attention on one thing for a long time. Sculpt for 10 minutes, draw for 5, sing one song. Or you can generally rattle pots: this, by the way, also develops hearing and coordination.
Distribute responsibilities. Of course, you want to be a super mom who worked out with the children, and went to fitness, and painted her nails, and cooked borscht for the whole family, but it’s unlikely that you will be able to do all this well. If you don’t have enough time and energy for everything, a grandmother can take a walk with the little ones, and her husband, instead of borscht, will eat purchased dumplings or Chinese food ordered at home a couple of times a week. And, I must say, it won’t even get poisoned!
Set aside at least an hour a day for yourself and your business. Let it be anything from a warm bath to watching your favorite series. Yes, dad is tired at work, but rest is a change of activity, right?
Loosen control. If you can calmly drink coffee only when the little one is stomping around the apartment in daddy's shoes, scattering toys or tearing up newspapers, let him. In the end, removing the consequences of the game is not so difficult, but both of you will become a little happier.
Don't be a recluse. Of course, your mother and grandmother are sure that you should not even take a child with you to the store until the age of 3, but we know that if the regime and safety precautions are followed, a trip to the zoo or a visit will not harm a single crumb. As for distant travels, this is a controversial issue, it all depends on the characteristics of the baby. Some children have a hard time with the road and transport, and some do not care.
Spend 2 hours a week without a child. Let this become a good tradition: for example, on weekends, while the baby is sleeping, dad, grandmother or nanny looks after him. And at this time you meet with friends, go to salons and shops, or just read a book in the park, having a snack milkshake cake.
go in for sports- This the best remedy from depression. Physical activity (especially outdoors) invigorates, improves mood and improves immunity.
Don't forget self-realization. Be sure to find yourself a hobby or a small remote job: this will make you feel not only a mother, but also a full-fledged member of society.
Treat yourself to mini-holidays. It sounds very funny, but for a mother on maternity leave, even buying a new shampoo is an event. So indulge yourself in the pleasure: regularly treat yourself to small purchases and goodies.
Find like-minded people and sympathizers. Whether it's members of the forum for moms, offline friends or relatives: someone should listen to you in difficult times, take pity on you and give you good advice.
Determine your threshold beyond which you are no longer human. And do not bring yourself to such a state. As soon as you feel the approach of a crisis point, drop everything, hand over things and rest.

How to get out of depression

If you didn’t track the right moment and still burned out, the main thing is to admit it. Say to yourself: "Yes, I'm tired of everything, everything annoys me, and I have a right to it." And then everyone possible ways take a vacation: sleep at least 10 hours a day, eat your favorite meals, do your favorite activities, or even break into a trip to change the situation. Of course, this will require the help of loved ones, so talk to them frankly. They certainly don't want you to develop neurotic disorders.

Nature is programmed that sooner or later almost every woman begins to want a child. She makes plans and dreams about how she will spend her vacation taking care of the baby. However, after childbirth, especially if the child is the first, the woman is faced with unforeseen difficulties (lack of sleep, the whims of the baby, the inability to relax and take time to take care of herself). All this contributes to the development of manifestations in a woman. postpartum depression. The first months after the birth of a baby is a time when relationships in a young family are often tested for strength.

Especially often, depression on maternity leave occurs in sensitive and emotional women. They have a natural sociability and openness. Building emotional connections with other people is a vital necessity for them.

It is not surprising that forced solitude and limited communication while a woman is “sitting on maternity leave” cause her a state of emotional deficit, which she often feels like depression. People of such a plan have a huge emotional range and it is unnatural to close it only on communication with a husband and child. As a result of the lack of realization of the emotional range in young mothers, maternity depression: appears, tearfulness, apathy sets in, and sometimes there are tantrums and panic attacks.

If a woman decides to have a child under pressure from her husband or driven by the need to fulfill her childbearing function up to 35-40 years, but at the same time she does not have the need for motherhood, then it is likely that she will develop postpartum depression.

Factors contributing to depression

appearance depression contribute to the following factors:

Chronic fatigue. It is especially strong in the first four months after the birth of a child. At this time, the baby often suffers from gases caused by the immaturity of the intestines, and is prone to bouts of evening crying. If, in addition, there are problems with lactation, then the woman does not know what to do, and feels literally exhausted. Hence the tearfulness, despondency. In this case, we must remember that all this is a temporary phenomenon and literally in a couple of months life will return to normal.
Monotony. If a mother on maternity leave needs to communicate, then you should not isolate yourself within four walls for a long time. Beginning with one month old you can walk with a child in almost any weather, and a little later - visit friends and even go shopping.
dissatisfaction with the figure. Often, after giving birth, a woman's appearance undergoes changes, which is very upsetting for a young mother. Especially if the husband directly expresses his claims to her. This is not a reason to shut yourself up. Diet modification and physical activity over time, they will help restore the body to its former shape and get rid of depression.
Lack of experience. Women who have given birth to their first child often feel that they cannot cope with upbringing and do everything wrong. As a result, they develop a sense of their own inferiority. In this case, it is better to read the relevant literature and listen to the advice of mothers with children.

How to cope

To prevent the onset of a depressive state during parental leave, psychologists recommend following certain recommendations.

If it is difficult for a woman to cope with the upbringing of a child on her own, it is necessary to speak frankly with her husband and determine what responsibilities he is ready to take on. The conversation should be without screams and claims. But you should be prudent: if your spouse needs to get up early for work, you should not charge him with the nightly care of the child.

In times when everything seems to be going wrong, in order not to fall into depression, it is important to remember that there are no ideal parents. It is impossible to always do everything to the maximum. Even though sometimes you can’t look perfect or wash the floor once again for the return of your husband from work, you should not make a problem out of this.

For women for whom self-realization is important, remote work or training will help to get out of depression. By devoting a certain period of daytime to these activities, a woman will be able to avoid degradation and usefully spend maternity leave.

Sometimes you can weaken the total control and let the baby run the house. And at a time when the child is busy, you can safely read or drink a cup of tea. Early development a child is good, but everything should be in moderation. Everyday activities take a lot of mother's time and are often tiring for the baby. Sometimes it’s enough just to draw a little, read a book or make Easter cakes.

Cope with the development of postpartum depression will help physical exercise and long hiking. This will enable the child to be outdoors for a long time, and the mother to maintain good physical shape and even mood.

To take a break from homework, it is advisable to set aside a couple of hours a week for communication with friends. At this time, you can visit a cafe, a beauty salon or go shopping. If there is absolutely no one to replace a young mother for a vacation, it is advisable to hire a nanny. In this case, a woman can even combine childcare with studies or part-time work.

depression therapy

Drug treatment of women during lactation is not permissible. In case of emergency, the child is transferred to artificial feeding and only after that assign strong drugs: antidepressants and tranquilizers. Usually the use of such strong drugs is indicated only if, before pregnancy, the woman had any mental disorders or they appeared for the first time, but they are pronounced and do not lend themselves to the methods of psycho-correction.

Antidepressants show excellent therapeutic effect, but their use is possible only under the strict supervision of a physician. Many of them have certain contraindications and side effects.

Aromatherapy is considered a gentle way. To do this, oils are added to the bath while bathing and used in an aroma lamp. The selection of oils should also be carried out by a doctor, since with hypersensitivity they can do harm. Lavender, orange, lemon balm, and cedar oils have a good calming effect.