Fried tomatoes benefits and harm to the body. Calorie dishes with fried tomatoes and eggs

Let's talk about the beliefs that hold us all back on the path to self-realization, personal and professional progress, and happiness in general.

Where are they from? They are in line with our current worldview. And it is equivalent to our current psychological age (regardless of biological).

In some areas we can be stronger, more mature, and in others we can regress to a lower level. The task is to understand where we have a rollback, regression and raise our level, then our beliefs will change, there will be fewer barriers, the whole picture of the world will change, and most importantly, the state, which means events in this area.

How to determine your psychological age? Look at yourself in stress (from the inside and, as it were, from the outside, look at yourself in situations from the side). How do we react? If we fall into emotions - this is infantilism. If we look for authoritative opinions, support - adolescence level. If we rely on ourselves, intuitively and quickly understand how to do it right, we are adults. There is still a level of maturity, there is room for all of us to grow))

So, let's look at your level of adulthood. These are the questions of our strengths and weaknesses. Questions of growing up are questions of strengthening oneself. And questions of mastering personality settings and tools amplifying yourself.

We get stuck at certain stages because we do not go through transitional crises. The main thing that limits us is kickbacks in some areas to a psychological level below the "adult". If there was a question at what stage are you, And why don't you move on So it's time to look at your personal settings.

And also, to see how we go through crises. They are inevitable natural stages restructuring and transformation. We come out of them stronger if we rise to a level higher than the level of the problem. We come out of them weaker if we regress in our inner state.

It is the turning points, reassessments, reboots (they are called crises) that give us the opportunity to push off from the current stage and rush to the next one. We just need it to grow up, grow wiser and become stronger.

Crises are not to be feared. They are litmus weaknesses, an indication of where to increase (after all, stress immediately shows our level inner strength). Crises are turning points (to follow the old track or lay the bed of a new river?). Questions sharp to yourself and honest should not be afraid. Another list of questions Who am I?», « Why do I need it?», « What do I want?” and so on, do not be afraid. You should not postpone or deny, go into the negative (the world is bad, I am bad, etc.), but you should support yourself as much as possible, help yourself figure out. At each stage, the answers to questions may sound new, and this is normal.

As we grow, our values, beliefs, priorities and ways of doing things change, this is inevitable. Otherwise, don't move.

If we don't grow, we degrade.

We grow to the end of our lives. Do not think that learning is only in youth. (Many remain children and adolescents in their 40+ years because they have stopped in development)

Why does the topic of psychological age resonate so much?

Because it gives information about what stage are we at and highlights the way to grow that in itself to strengthen its inner core and strengthen its support. We want to get stronger. And that means happier. That's the whole point.

PRACTICE 1: take care of yourself in typical situations of stress in different areas. Where and how do you solve crisis moments, how do you make decisions, what or whom do you rely on, where do you draw strength from or feel powerless? How do you react? What (about whom) do you immediately think about, how do you feel?

So, I won't post here. scientific theories O psychological ages. Whoever wishes can study it himself in the works of scientific psychologists. My task is to give theses for practical conclusions, so that you can now analyze your views, habits and foundations, your current life position(the actual state of your personal settings and the state of your resources) and make a decision to move forward.

So, no matter how many years are indicated in your passport, it is worth growing up. Otherwise, one cannot spread one's wings, one cannot understand oneself and this world in such a way as to learn how to extract happiness from it.

The world is complex, ambiguous, chaotic, turbulent, very multivariate, unpredictable, overloaded with information and events, non-linear and, in order not to feel like a victim, not to get stuck in the impossibility of making decisions (in fact, avoiding decisions), so as not to get bogged down in illusory assessments, resentments, making unreasonable demands because of our weakness, in blindness about our resources, let's understand the levels of progress in our worldview, our independence and resourcefulness.

CHILDREN

Psychological “children” - growing up biologically, psychologically remain people of “mood”, living from the position of “I want”.

The world, in their understanding, is their "parent": the world must take care of them, give them comfort, support and approval. Disapproval and lack of custody of them is such a big stress for them that they will either adjust to get it, or demand in all ways.

They are unaware that they cannot control the feelings and views of other people. By the way, in principle, they do not consider them separately from themselves (other people for them are either identical to themselves, that is, in a merger, or their continuation (or they are part of someone), or objects, but definitely not subjects with their own will) . Constantly merging not only with loved ones, but also with the environment, they definitely want to please (that is, they think that they will force other people to do it one way or another or convince them, as if others do not have free will and their own guidelines and desires, as if they are blind or idiots and just couldn't see something in you), and they protest that someone didn't appreciate them, didn't approve, didn't love them, didn't take an interest in them, or didn't share their resources with them. It's hard for them to accept.

They periodically (unless they are passionate about another toy) is boring because they do not have a plan for life and a clear understanding of what they want, so they need new entertainment and distractions all the time. Their interaction with the world is demands, for example, that someone come and solve their problems.

Children are very reactive (from the word "reaction"). You know how children behave in stores: seeing colorful rattle toys, they rush from one to another, shouting that they need to buy it. They don't control their attention. Their attention is directed by external objects or subjects. They do not form their own agenda. They just react to what is coming towards them.

Money to earn "children" they cannot, at any rate serious ones; as a rule, they are low-resource people, waiting for guardianship and care from outside, dreaming of a patron, of “mother-universe/daddy-husband”, of other people's resources. They think that their feelings and opinions (if there are opinions, often their their no) are important to everyone, so they must be conveyed to everyone, and need and needs, their weaknesses and other nuances of needs and life are very touching and touching ...

LOCUS OF CONTROL: very external (everyone does not act as correctly as expected, someone is to blame, someone is wrong, someone is dishonest, someone does not want to share - in general, there are expectations and constant disappointment from inconsistencies expectations and reality, there is no acceptance that everyone acts from their own interests, great faith in words, and not in the deeds of people)

SELF-REGULATION: not at all.

SPONTANCY: continuous spontaneity of one's emotions that are not lived through. After all, in childhood we were taught to "be silent!". Feeling ashamed or uncomfortable crying or expressing emotions. And we still do not realize them and do not know how to live and express them, and more often we clamp them down, do not understand, block them. We remain children with our clamped emotions.

TEENAGERS

These are unstoppable conformists with constant anxiety about “what people will say” about their actions. They are guided not by their intuition and knowledge, but by the opinion of the group.

It is important for them to be accepted in their reference group, it is important to meet the social standards of “goodness”, albeit to the detriment of their own interests. They also wait for "permission" for some opinion or judgment or action from significant people. They, in fact, do not have their own significance, ethics and beliefs (although they may think that they are carriers of some principles, but there is little personal identity and selfhood, everything is just templates from society or constructions reference group).

For some (with ambitions) it is important to take a place in the hierarchy, to become "cool" by the standards of this reference group, therefore they strive to demonstrate their "coolness" by any means, even at the cost of debts and refusal to satisfy their real needs.

They want to prove something to someone. Be sure to speak out, dot the "and" (who is beaten). And who is weak - make their behavior socially acceptable and convenient. In essence, they are material and a resource for manipulating older, leaders with their own goals.

Psychological "teenagers" (those who are bolder) are a godsend for the consumer industry because they often they spend money on "status" items in order to first of all demonstrate and confirm their significance, and secondly - according to the degree of real need. They are constantly proving or demonstrating something to someone.

Another problem of psychological adolescents is fear. Fear of losing money, job, status, reputation, etc. Driven by this fear, they fuss a lot, run, worry, swear, trying to achieve safety, but never achieve it, because their own fears, through the mechanism of self-fulfilling prophecies (what is in the focus of attention - energy is there, then it comes true) lead them to the loss of what they have acquired, and then they are forced to start this round again.

"Squirrel in the wheel", "rat race" - these are the metaphors that reflect the life of a psychological teenager.

A lot of fuss, lack of ethics (for example, respect for other people's borders and will, other people's resources and property) and one's own opinion (operates only with generally accepted stereotypes), neurotic fears and a hectic life - this is the lot of a psychological teenager.

Money to earn "teenagers" they can (by selling their time, running "buy-sell" or using unethical schemes), but dispose of them in a smart way and create wealth, prosperity at this level and with these beliefs, no.

What about personality settings, ego settings at this level?

LOCUS OF CONTROL: very external (everyone does not act as correctly as expected, someone is to blame, someone is wrong, someone is dishonest, someone does not want to share - in general, there are expectations and constant disappointment from inconsistencies expectations and reality, there is no understanding of what selfish beliefs leaders act from, great faith in words, statuses, show-offs, and not in people's deeds)

SELF-REGULATION: no benefit to yourself. Since teenagers are on the hook of the stronger ones, they use their willpower for the benefit of someone, and not for themselves (to pump their strength and develop their intellect)

SPONTANCY: continuous spontaneity of one's emotions that are not lived through. After all, in childhood we were taught to "be silent!". It's embarrassing to cry or express emotions. And we still do not realize them and do not know how to live and express them, and more often we clamp them down, do not understand, block them. We remain children with our clamped emotions. Emotions are bad. Everything goes into the furnace of momentary desires. Fast food, relaxation with alcohol, cigarettes, other chemicals.
The tension is always terribly high. Great expectations from oneself, from society, from other people, from life - a big strain.

SELF-ASSESSMENT: depends on who and how praised or scolded. Very dependent. Jumping like a swing. That's up because someone supported. then sharply down, because someone did not approve, did not stroke, did not appreciate, did not pay attention, does not like, or someone does not like us.

So.
The children's stage is the stage of learning to work with your emotions.
Adolescence - the stage of socialization. At this stage, we learn to communicate in society, to understand other people, to express ourselves, to act according to established rules.
Stage of youth - what do you think is dedicated to?

The stage of growing up - what should be the main thing there, what do you think?

Let's continue.

YOUTH

Approximately from 18 to 21 years there is an active development of intelligence. Of course, if a teenager chooses not to go out, love and drink, but read books, play chess, develop his brain, be interested in some concepts or ideas (for example, saving the world, this is very youthful).

And by the age of 21, in theory, a person is ready to instill in himself the ability to act effectively to achieve specific measurable results. To be happy, to be productive, to be inspired, to be resourceful, to be a leader (a leader for yourself, not a social one), to be proactive, to be healthy, to be energetic - these are all skills. And they can and should learn. To create such personality settings that will allow you to extract happiness from reality and create a comfortable life for yourself. Be independent enough to make your own decisions, have your own opinion, and act flexibly rather than rigidly within limits. Be emotionally disconnected from external events or other people rely primarily on yourself.

Let's consider that if the transition did not take place and according to the passport an adult person hung in his youth, that is, in reflection, mental concepts and endless absorption of information, preparation, study, planning, reasoning and discussions (both internal and external) instead of organizing a productive and happy desired life for yourself, instead of real action in the real world.

The accumulation of knowledge and dreams, romanticism and idealization of oneself, the world, someone and something characterizes the stage of youth. In youth, while there is really no experience and knowledge, everything seems to be that something is still missing in order to start acting. And this is logical. But at 30+, it already looks different: a lot of “young men” talk about how they are about to start living for real, much better than now, and ... do nothing, continuing to live as before. They seem to be preparing to live all the time, but they do not live yet. Waiting tomorrow. Tomorrow is the outer support. This is inaction.

Psychological "boys" are best at dreaming and reasoning. And still study and study, with the hope of someday making your dreams come true.

Unlike adolescent conformists, young men already have their own opinion about everything and have already formed a system of values ​​that seems to them the only true one. For her, they are ready for both fire and water. Well, yes, it’s not for nothing that they learn so much! They have an opinion about everything in the world and a lot of knowledge in the “stash” and great desire it must be conveyed to everyone (although practically not one holistic practical effort towards the goal).

If there are people in your environment for whom the meaning of any communication is to defend their point of view in the ensuing discussion, then these are they, psychological youths. People of action (i.e. adults) have no time to talk so much and have no desire to prove anything to anyone.

The question that spins on the tongue when you encounter a prominent representative of this "caste" - “If you are so smart, then why are you so poor?”.

And this question brilliantly illustrates them. main problem- they do not monetize their knowledge and do not turn their potential into action. In this case, often theoretically knowing how to do it. Why don't they? A question of ego settings and the use of tools? Yes, but it’s more a question of personal strength and congruence, since young men live in the mind and live only with the mind, they don’t feel themselves, the world, there is no connection with themselves, with their gut, intuition. Therefore, they do not feel reality. ALTHOUGH. They have (and have) their own values ​​and opinions, they are no longer teenagers who are completely based on opinions, authorities and social attitudes.

To get out of an infantile position, it is necessary to recognize the subjectivity of other people, get out of an egocentric position, learn empathy, see that there are people around with their own opinions, desires, priorities. The antipode of egocentrism is love for oneself and for the world. It is impossible to love, respect and understand other people without loving, respecting and understanding yourself. When you want to "handle" - there is no self-respect. And there is no respect for others.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND. My course "New me " helps to work out the topic of energy fullness (increasing one's energy capacity), the theme of self-love, the theme of self-reliance. Without energy and without matured brains, it is impossible to aim at self-realization and other results (different from the current ones: in love, in finance, in work, in friendship, in health). It will be useful for beginners (with the first approach to the topic "I want to live differently") and for those who have already read something and done something on the topic of energy, but there are no strong results and constantly falls into a blackout. All the same, you need a SYSTEM and knowledge of all the principles. This is what I am aware of. This is the base. "For those who do not know the base, the chips will not help" (c) Andrey Zakharyan. Therefore, take the base, there will be something to rely on!

To go from teenager to youth , you need to start developing your intellect, educate yourself and learn to go beyond the proposed models, think independently, learn to deal with your emotions and energy, not drain it into the void, but invest it in your goals.

Here I can also help you very practically, for this I created a program " Quality of life upgrade". It explores themes increase personal strength, self-confidence I help with the development of such personal settings as self-esteem, self-regulation, good boundaries. We learn to work with emotions, listen to intuition, understand ourselves, our values ​​and goals, develop our resources, improve the quality of life, increase the degree of enjoyment from each of our days, create intentions and create a skill " be happy man ". What is included personally in your concepts " success", "happiness", "self-realization", "relationship"? You will deal with personal guidelines and plans for life. You will deal with energy drains, holes in your boundaries, and jumps in your self-esteem, drops in motivation. Learn to manage yourself. Your condition, your motivation, your energy, your desires and goals. You will understand how to work with fears and doubts and make informed decisions without getting stuck in problems. Understand how you can increase your personal scale. And also: how to understand people, how to communicate with people, how to manage them, how to transform conflicts.

To go from youth to adult , you need to learn how to act effectively, make decisions, make choices (young men do not know how, they want "everything at once"), listen to yourself, use your intuition, see who is in front of you and communicate accordingly (not expecting more, but being able to manipulate "in interests of the cause", based on personal ethics).

For people who have already read everything, and studied, and, finally, ripe for action, I created a program " MY WAY. My self-realization". It is also practical, consists of exercises and my explanations of how and why these practices work and what they mirror to you, what they teach, how they can help in the desired transformations. This is a program for those who have completed one of the two previous programs (ideally: both) and ready to create the desired lifestyle. practical tools and the principles of managing yourself and your life, and the intention to create your own reality according to your desires. Sounds fantastic, but there is no magic here. It's simple enough personal strength, energy, serious adult intention, acceptance capacity, personal meanings, principles and ethics, in order to understand your program, hear the purpose and act in unison with it, creating your path, enjoying your flow. Also, these are programs about skills: get useful skills control their installations, now that you have learned to control yourself, you can be able to control other people. It's about that how to choose, understand and create a favorite business, how to integrate it into the desired lifestyle(for many, on the contrary, their lives are those remnants of time and energy that remain before and after work).

How is flow created and how can you unlock your potential? In a programme " MY WAY. My self-realization"I give the tools, well, and the consequence of this is the state, which I talk about further.

ADULTS

Are able to make decisions. To make a decision, they do not need to endlessly, like young men, collect information. They understand that they, in any case, will not be able to collect all the information. Therefore, they connect their intuition, which was already quite developed by that time, which was formed on the basis of their sensitivity to themselves and the world. Based on the ability to concentrate when necessary and relax the rest of the time. They feel the boundaries well. And so once again and do not strain.

They know themselves, they are their own support. They are the best for themselves. important people in this world. They are focused on their values ​​and goals. And often they do not coincide with the values ​​and goals of society. They are not on the hook of society. They are not food.

Making decisions for them is a conscious refusal from the pros and cons of one option in favor the pros and cons of the other (the price of any issue, and it always exists!). They understand the realities of life: that they cannot embrace the immensity, they cannot get everything at once (only all the pluses and cream from everywhere). You have to make a choice and they make it. Decision making is this choice skill rather than self-confidence. (Most of the concepts in life, such as “happy”, “inspired”, “conscious”, etc., etc. are skills. And this can be learned. Build muscles).

That is, while you sit and think that you are simply not confident enough in yourself, and therefore cannot make decisions, then you do not earn choice skills, with all its ++ and - -, you will not pump your intuition, and you will constantly wait for hints or put up with the choice for you, go on about someone or something.

Self-confidence is the trophy of actions, not their impulse (that is, the effect, not the cause of actions). It comes after we overcome the shame of the beginner.

If the problem can be solved for money, it's not a problem. These are expenses. Also the wisdom of an adult. Everything that saves you from the routine, from what you do not like to do, which only takes your strength and time is solved by simple delegation or hiring for money. And at this time you will enjoy life or earn many times more than if you did something primitive or not loved by yourself or hired special people.

They are able to perform targeted actions for a specific measurable result. Is there a task (any problem is not a problem, it is a task that needs to be solved, and if it is impossible, you need to treat it correctly)? An adult will not be depressed for long. He will consider the conditions of the problem, the required resources and will then work on the resources to solve the problem within his boundaries.

He understands what the limitations are, takes them into account, does everything that depends on him within his boundaries and accepts in advance everything that lies beyond his boundaries. Do what is right and come what may. Another piece of adult wisdom.

He understands that the world will never be comfortable for him. People too. Accepts the fact of egocentrism and selfishness of people and considers this the norm. He does not experience any inconvenience, anger, irritation, disappointment, resentment, envy and other teenage emotions about this. Emotions in an adult, of course have. But he perceives them as signal, which indicates certain feelings, then you need not to hide these emotions, but to understand what and why you are not comfortable and what to do to make reality around you comfortable.

It is known that from childhood we were not taught to be aware of our emotions. We were made comfortable (parents, teachers, etc.) and therefore emotions were forbidden. On any playground you can hear in every way basically SHUT UP (Shut your mouth and eat your soup!). And so, out of habit, we block our emotions (anger, annoyance) and carry all this with a shell in the body. So we lose sensitivity, our intuition. And if we listen to the body, to the inner voice, then we, in fact, can always understand which option to choose, what decision to make, to understand whether a person is lying to us or not, to understand whether something needs to be done or not.

Intuition works when forming internal question and receiving an internal response. If we rely in the answer to the question not on inner voice, but on the way it is accepted, or on other people's beliefs or opinions, or on patterns of behavior, socially acceptable conveniences and manipulations, then we move away from our path, and lose strength. We lose power because we kind of throw it out (through a bunch of doubts, fears, accusations, categoricalness, emotionality, empty talk, comparisons, envy, thinking through denial, boasting, communication with the weak, self-flagellation and so on - that is, regression), we drain energy and it becomes consumable for others (as well as ourselves).

So, any problem is translated by an adult to the level of a task and is solved one way or another. Or the state and, accordingly, the attitude changes, and often at the output this no longer becomes a problem. Either the solution comes, or the problem itself resolves.

Stress resistance is inherent in an adult. They understand that stresses are normal factors of life, they are inevitable, some we can avoid, some are inevitable. The policy of avoiding stress at all costs will come at a cost: loss of self-respect, self-confidence and strength. Mature installation: I will look best solution in any situation and will not disappear. Behind him is the experience of victories, the experience of mistakes and risks, the experience of other people (ask, find out, buy training, buy a consultation, buy an expert analysis, be guided by “if someone could and I can”). Mistakes are not terrible, mistakes are part of the path, an integral part of learning. If there are no mistakes for a long time, it means that you haven’t learned anything new for a long time and you don’t try new things, you don’t overcome them.

Adults control their attention and energy. A mature person controls his attention (he is proactive, not reactive), which means he controls his motivation. Responses to external signals that are pouring in from all sides are selected by them in terms of their goals. Acting "in the interests of the cause" is an adult thing. Just react to external environment(reactivity, from the word "reaction") - this is the level of a teenager.

Psychological adults own their emotions. Not in the sense that they hide and restrain them, but they control them (I already described how above). They form attitudes and moods for themselves, not expecting spontaneous flashes of inspiration (they pave the way to the sources).

A mature person can contain their feelings and knows when to unpack them and live safely and profitably. They are sensitive to the signals of their body (including feelings) and use them in making decisions. That is, intuition works precisely because a person draws to logic, based on experience and knowledge (his own and in the environment), and also to his heart, feelings. Psychologically, an adult is able to hear the heart and use the mind so that they work in synergy.

Life, for an adult, is a place to achieve specific results in accordance with his wishes. Personal power is the ability to shape your reality. The ability to make one's CONDITION, then reality reflects this. And if the state is high, adult, harmonious, resourceful, then there will be a lot around it! What a trick - such environmental conditions.

When does resource scarcity occur? When a person lives as if according to a "survival" program instead of expanding the pleasure of life, comfort, his happiness, unwinding his potential .. What mode do you live in? Have what you "need" but don't get what you "want"? Do you want to walk to stop? (invest and calm down?)

Adults constantly develop their resources(both material and others), this gives them a lot of self-respect (and respect for other people) and self-confidence (that they are resourceful and that they rely on themselves). Gender Features nothing to do with it. Resource people are interesting and necessary for everyone. Non-resource - a burden.

To earn, it is enough to send cash flows to your side. Clear effective targeted action to solve the problem. Translate "must" into "I want", "I can", accumulate energy, listen to yourself, your intuition, rely primarily on yourself, rely on yourself, expect from yourself (and at the same time treat yourself apogithically, with a dose of humor and a huge dose of acceptance of any options).

Money is the gratitude of people. How valuable you are and how you can give out some value. Money is a natural consequence of your value, the state when you realize it. How more value(you increase it), the more you can let the flow through you. You solve problems for the money that is acceptable to you.

I help work through my beliefs on practical exercises in their financial coaching program. If you want to understand your current outcome beliefs, want to change them to change the outcome, then participate to grow in this thread. Description

You grow and build a reputation when do something over the top(not just a minimum). But you need to do it and see what the return is. If there is no adequate return, then stop giving something in excess to manipulators and infants, ungrateful, unethical people. Work with them only "in the interests of your business", nothing more. And to form a warmer and more productive contact with people close to you in values ​​and spirit, and mutually cooperate with excess.

They form their own personal meanings, what exactly is important to them and why. They are not explained to anyone, this is their personal, their inner fire.

They do not merge themselves, they believe less in the words of people, and more in deeds. And they themselves say little (especially negative, weak), do more. Never compare themselves to others, they on his way.

Adults lean on yourself (and not on someone in the outside world). First of all, on internal resources (their clear ethical standards for decision-making, their will with the help of which they become strong) and external (created by them wealth And the ability to build productive relationships with different people).

The inadequacy and negativity of other people is not their problem. Accordingly, they do not undertake to prove something to someone and re-educate, being within their own boundaries and respecting the boundaries of other people. Adults choose with whom to build relationships (personal, business or friendly), and with whom not, and with those they have chosen, they will be able to find mutual language. A person who is within his boundaries is psychologically invulnerable to those who do not respect his boundaries and try to violate them. Being an adult means being more protected by your own settings, which ensure its integrity and adequacy.

Adults have good boundaries. They separate themselves from other people, subjects. They have self-respect (are within their boundaries) and respect other people, perceive them as separate subjects with their own rights (other people, including very close ones, have their own interests, opinions, their goals, have the right to disapprove of you, disagree with you, not to love you, to act only in your own interests, not to know something, .. Read about ""). A person with good boundaries, obeying someone else's will, taking it for his own.

His self-esteem does not depend on approval or criticism.

They are ready to invest from the heart and love, and can appreciate the investments of other people. They know how to make friends and love. Be warm, open up to people they like. Distance if there is no reciprocity. Love without fusion is about them. Skill be grateful- it's about them. They do not consider others to take care of themselves as their duty (in particular, that parental duty is belonging, and if the parents did not give something else, then they owe it, on the contrary, infantiles in general perceive a lot in the world as their property). To impose an extra debt, someone else's will on adults self-sufficient people impossible, they are conscious and not blind, independent, because they are resourceful.

Are there resentments against parents, claims?

An adult has plans for life, which he corrects in the course of the play. He is flexible, he accepts the multivariance and unpredictability of the world. He can divide the time periods of his life into long-term and short-term plans. Whatever the plans, hecan appreciate the “here and now” and find a lot of pluses and joys in this moment. A mature person knows how to be happy, despite the stresses of life, unpredictability and crises, to extract joy from life, to feel the moments Here and now and enjoy them.

In general, self-sufficiency, independence in the best sense of these words is main characteristic mature person. As much as a child, a teenager and a young man with undeveloped, small resources are dependent and constantly looking for outside support (support, help and approval or the use of other people's resources), so an adult relies primarily on himself.

A mature person can act precisely because he manages its boundaries, its will, its energy and self-esteem. That's where the strength and resource come from.

What are the reasons for not growing up?

Living a certain period of time of his life, a person solves the problems of this period and in parallel accumulates biological and psychological

baggage". At some point, the number of internal changes develops into quality, and the way a person lives (according to the laws of his former age period), begins to dissonate with his new, more advanced identity.

And the crisis comes. The inability to live and act in the old way with the new "I". Having lived through the crisis (or simply the stage of rethinking, reassessment), a person is identified (self-determined) in a new way and enters a new step in his age development. Or it doesn't come out.

At all times, a tribe, clan, community helped a person to go through a crisis. Through rituals and traditions, older tribesmen passed on to a person experiencing a transitional stage, support and necessary knowledge about his new identity and how to deal with it.

If you did not receive support in the family, in the environment in which you grew up, today, by connecting awareness, you can help yourself on your own. After all, you are no longer a child. Everything that you were once “not given”, you can now give yourself. By realizing your destructive attitudes that prevent you from moving forward, you are able to remake them and organize your life the way you want.

How to grow up?

1. Understand your limiting beliefs and stop factors.

Help yourself see reality. Look from the side. Who are you, what / what are you, how do you solve your problems. Are you growing or stagnating?

1. How resourceful and interesting person. Everyone is drawn to something interesting and resourceful, everyone wants to be close to it. If no one is particularly willing, it might be time to take care of yourself and stop blaming others for your lack of support.

2. How effectively do you act in your interests, your goals? Have a clear step by step plan and a measurable specific result (goal) that you want to achieve? Do you have a strategy and implement it carefully every day?

3. How and where do you drain yourself? Where are the holes in your borders? Where is the weakness? Where is childishness? Where are the illusions and escape from reality? Where is the lie to yourself?

4. Can you hear the voice of intuition? Intuition works like this. You ask specific questions, and within yourself you pronounce the answer. Usually yes/no. One or the other in response to a specific closed question, you will not be able to pronounce internally. As if constipation of thought occurs.
Also, listen to your body. The body clearly signals. Something starts to prick, or get cold, or some other sensations.

In fact, if relax and be calm, in a resource, we understand when they lie to us, when they deceive us, when a person is unethical, dishonorable or weak, we feel it, but we begin to persuade ourselves, or convince, or succumb to provocations or manipulation, regressing down the psychological mood.

About open questions: in fact, we know all our true answers for us. But either he prefers mental templates, or the opinions of others, or the constructions of society. We do not hear ourselves. Too tight, too neurotically tense, intimidated, worried. You need to relax, accumulate strength, additional energy (in excess of your minimum for current tasks) and you will hear yourself more clearly and understand yourself better.

1. Find out where you are now and where you need to go next.

Say thanks to your previous stage, everything that he taught you (analyze his lessons), then realize what the next stage is before you.

Take on new obligations, set new goals, outline tasks on the way to the goal and take action. Use adult settings and tools. I have mentioned many.

I will also mention one of the important settings: belief what factors influence your life (locus of control, it is called).

It helps to be within the boundaries normal locus of control. A normal locus of control suggests that you do not expect much from someone or something (at one extreme - external locus: “someone is to blame or someone owes something”, in your opinion t and therefore always disappointment, expectations are not fulfilled!), and do not consider yourself the navel of the universe (the other extreme is internal locus: “I can do anything, the main thing is to want”, or “I would have succeeded, I just don’t want, or it’s just not for me suitable option”), but act with what you can really control. How? yourself and your resources. Staying within your boundaries. If in some situation you have no leverage, it is worth seeing and distance yourself for your own good or remain dependent. Perhaps for now. While you are earning your resources.

You should learn to manage yourself absolutely independently (read some other resources about personality settings, ego settings if necessary). And to increase resources more and more in order to be less and less dependent on someone and something, more resourceful, which means a more self-confident and strong person.

Rely on yourself! Put yourself in the center of your universe, and take care of yourself! Then there will be something to give to relatives and friends. In the meantime, you are weak, confused, living within the goals and within the framework imposed by others, there is nothing special to give you, except for the crumbs of the remaining energy. When you realize this truth, you will be able to move forward. While you are hiding behind a mass of psychological defenses and excuses - things are still there.

PRACTICE 2.
Analyze which of these attitudes is true for you. In what areas are you at which of these levels (in relationships, in work, in friendship ..)
What motivation works in each of your life spheres (personality, work, friendship, love,...)? What questions do you solve in each of the areas?
Write it down in your diary for introspection, analyze in what situations and areas of regression and how you need to start thinking and acting differently there.

How to grow up?

Many of us, even as children, dreamed of growing up as soon as possible. This trend is also relevant in modern world. Adolescents and children want to be adults, to be respected, to have complete freedom of action, to be able to decide for themselves what to do, they are weighed down by the so-called submission to parents. But growing up does not consist in the listed categories, but first of all in the fact that a person clearly distinguishes for himself such concepts as good and evil, wisdom and stupidity, an adult will be able to curb the manifestations of childish or youthful maximalism, emotions when they are superfluous , and will also be ready to answer for the deeds and actions done independently, which is a considerable responsibility to society and to oneself.

What is the difference between an adult and a child and a teenager?

To answer this question, we must consider it with different parties(although, of course, there are situations when a child, in terms of his level of development and individual qualities outgrows an adult, and this may depend on certain life circumstances):

• First of all, an adult is a carrier of a certain life experience and knows about real life much more than a child or teenager who is still limited to a certain social area, for example, a school or a kindergarten.
• An adult is forced to restrain his emotions in public, because the ethics of a truly adult and conscious member of society dictate this. In this case, it is easier for children, they are free and more free in the manifestation of their emotions. Two periods of a child's growing up are especially noteworthy: 5-7 years - the preschool period, when children are characterized by a very changeable psychological condition and the youthful maximalism that all teenagers go through, from the stage of puberty to adolescence.
• An adult person is responsible for himself and his family, while a child is still responsible only for himself, but even this he does not always succeed, because at a subconscious level, children feel the support of their parents and the opportunity to shift the right of responsibility for their behavior to them. shoulders.
• The child is almost entirely dependent on the parents, both financially and psychologically. An adult person is his own support and depends only on himself.
• Physical features also play a delimiting role in determining the adult and the child.

According to the latest statistics in the field of sociology, the infantilization of society has reached its climax, many 30-year-olds behave like 15-year-old teenagers, and 40-year-olds behave like 20-year-olds, this is not the norm.

How to grow up right

How to grow up quickly is a rather serious question, the answer to which is individual for each teenager or child, since all people are different. Do not rush to grow up! Think about the fact that you will never return a carefree childhood, and you will always have time to start an adult life with responsibility for actions, for your behavior, where there will no longer be a strong parental shoulder.

In order to grow up, both a girl and a young man, it is necessary to think about the future, about the family, about a career, about the future, that is, about such things that will later play a decisive role in the fate of each of both. A young man should feel responsible for himself and for his soul mate.

A life goal is also one of the guidelines for growing up a young individual. Indeed, in order to achieve the goal, a person solves certain tasks, often difficult ones, and makes difficult decisions.

To the question of how to stop being a child, some come only at a conscious age. When life passes by, desires are not fulfilled, situations are one worse than the other, and loved ones constantly talk about your irresponsible attitude to everything that happens - this means it's time to part with infantilism and grow up.

Why is it beneficial for some to remain children, already at a conscious age?

Often those people who are afraid of responsibility do not want to grow up like fire. It’s convenient to push everything onto someone else, complain about circumstances that didn’t work out, see relatives or friends in everything, who do not understand all the difficulties that surround you everywhere. The list of problems grows every day, but no one cares about you. It is these thoughts that are the main foundation of the life of a person who is not ready to grow up.

But there are complex psychological trauma, the consequence of which may also be some kind of irresponsibility in the behavior and actions of a person. It is difficult for such people to cope with the problem on their own, therefore, in such cases, psychological or psychiatric help from qualified specialists is needed.

5 Essential Rules for Rapid Personality Growing Up

To grow up, you must follow 5 rules:

• Responsibility

Perhaps the most important point To grow up is to cultivate the ability to take responsibility. That person who is ready to be responsible for his actions, decisions, actions can consciously call himself an adult.

• Working on thoughts

Everything starts from this point. The day has come when you make a firm decision to change your present and future. You make the decision to grow up consciously and decisively forever. At this stage, self-improvement techniques will help, such as:

1. Turbo-Gopher system - psychotechnics allows you to get rid of infantilism, but in fact, it has a wider range of problem solving, such as: getting rid of negative personality traits, depressing emotions, limiting beliefs, emotional trauma, complexes and much more. . This is a serious technique and really transforms inner world V as soon as possible. The system is so powerful and self-sufficient that you don't even have to use the techniques below (from this numbered list).
2. books on self-improvement, the power of thought, about the hidden possibilities and resources of a person;
3. exercise for the mind, meditation (concentration on one thought for 5 minutes every day);
4. positive attitudes towards success (the ability to control one's mental flows, avoid negative emotions, moods);
5. affirmations (blocks of optimistic statements that increase the mindset on life situations (success, health, harmony in relationships, abundance).

Physical exercise is just as necessary for a person as mental exercise. In strong healthy body will always beat the flow of internal energy, strength, resources. After a good charge, visiting sports hall a person begins to feel a spiritual upsurge, new ideas begin to visit his head, general state at the same time it is in an elevated tone. Being engaged physically you will not leave chances to illnesses. Daily physical exercise discipline, help to properly organize the daily routine.

• Intelligent Programming

A strong intention to change the situation for the better, learn to take responsibility for yourself, take a leading role in important life situations awakens in you those hidden opportunities that will help you achieve what you want. It will be useful to attend trainings personal growth, consultations with a psychologist, or use the Turbo-Gopher system, which gives deeper results than the trainings and consultations described above.

You need to start reloading emotions by fixing your emotional state on paper, for example: on a scale from 1 to 10 (where “1” is anxiety, fear, stress, and “10” is joy, optimism, happiness), mark your state at a given time. This will be the starting point for fixing the result of work on yourself. It will also help here brain training, because the state of joy, success, moral stability you will need to maintain daily.

What other reasons are there for not wanting to grow up?

Our parents protect us from all adversity, but sometimes this process is delayed for long years. It is the constant guardianship of our relatives that relaxes the sense of responsibility, creates the illusion of comfort, the absence of problems.

There are several ways to fix this situation:

• Talk to your family at the round table. Who, no matter how you yourself, can clearly explain to them that the time has come to become independent, to solve personal issues on your own. Your decisive attitude will surely find responses from your relatives.
• Live apart from family. As soon as you move to another apartment, house or hostel, you will immediately be met with many situations, the resolution of which will fall only on your shoulders.
• Don't be afraid to make decisions. It happens that life circumstances dictate to us the direction in which we supposedly should go. But those people who are used to relying on fate in everything think so; those who do not want to be responsible for any consequences, transferring the entire burden of responsibility to someone other than themselves. Only by making a decision without outside help you can feel those threads of your consciousness that can control any life situation.

By making decisions on your own, you learn to analyze situations, compare possible solutions and consequences. All this is summed up in one word - experience. It is the acquisition of experience that gives us those emotions, states that we want to experience.

Fear of disappointment prevents us from moving forward, doubts are also not our best friends in achieving our goals. But they are not a hindrance for those who are sure that every fall is followed by a new rise, a rise to their desires, dreams, goals.

Anyone who has never fallen will not know how pleasant it is to get up again and go towards your goals no matter what. Only such a bold, self-confident conquer any peaks.

Hundreds of people eat fresh and processed tomatoes every day. You should find out how tomatoes are useful and why their presence is necessary in the diet. Since ancient times, the vegetable was called the golden apple.

Tomatoes have antioxidant property, allow you to slow down the aging process, are actively used to prevent a wide range of diseases. Medicinal properties The product is due to the presence of vitamins, minerals, acids and other useful substances in it.

Beneficial features

The benefits of tomatoes are associated with their positive effect on the human body. When used in moderation, fresh and cooked, they have therapeutic effect and allow to cope with a number of diseases.

Useful properties of tomatoes are:

• improving digestion;
• anti-sclerotic and anti-rheumatic action;
• work improvement of cardio-vascular system;
• increased immunity;
• removal of edema;
• weight loss;
• prevention of anemia;
• prevention of thrombosis;
• removal of toxins from the body;
• cancer prevention;
• reduction of the inflammatory process;
• treatment of varicose veins;
• removal of salts and normalization of salt balance;
• removal of a depressive state;
• disease prevention nervous system
• prevention of osteoporosis;
• prevention of vision problems.

The list of useful properties of tomatoes is very wide and varied. They were called golden apples for a reason. Due to its low calorie content, ripe fruits help people cope with overweight. tomatoes and tomato juice is one of the most common foods in diets.

The antioxidant properties of tomatoes allow you to protect not only individual systems, but the entire body as a whole. When used correctly fresh tomatoes there is a general improvement appearance and well-being.

Features of the composition of tomatoes

Many are interested in the question of how useful a tomato is. To answer this question, you need to find out what vitamins, macro and microelements are included in its composition.

For the human body special meaning has a high content of carbohydrates in tomatoes. They contain about 3.7 grams per 100 grams of product.

In second place is low calorie product. 100 grams of pulp give no more than 20 kcal. This makes the product ideal for diet food.

In third place in importance are useful substances.

1. Vitamins and minerals. Vitamin C, A, K, PP, vitamins of group B, folic acid were found in large quantities in tomatoes. According to the content of vitamin C, tomatoes can be compared with citrus fruits. Of the minerals, potassium, calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, manganese, molybdenum, sodium, iodine, and iron are especially distinguished.
2. When ripe, tomatoes have a bright red color. The shade of the peel is due to the presence of anthocyanins. Their benefit to the body is to fight free radicals. That's why Special attention experts give it to ripe fruits. Thanks to anthocyanins, the stability of blood vessels increases, the cardiovascular system strengthens, and immunity increases.
3. Lycopene. The presence of lycopene in the composition of tomatoes determines its antioxidant effect. Due to this, the fruits have the ability to slow down the development of cancer cells.

The effect of tomatoes on the male and female body

The benefits and harms of tomato for women and male body are different. If we talk about women, then, first of all, they mention the value of the product in diet food and cosmetology.

It is believed that the product normalizes metabolism. Due to the improvement of the digestive tract and the low calorie content of the vegetable, weight is reduced, well-being improves. Tomatoes are recommended for pregnant women. Their benefits are associated with the prevention of constipation and the improvement of bowel function.

The importance of the product in cosmetology is undeniable. The juice and pulp of the fruit is used to make masks, compresses and other cosmetic products. As a result of the application, the condition of the skin improves, there is an increase in its elasticity.

Tomatoes have a positive effect on the condition of the nail plates and hair. Using tomatoes regularly, the benefits become visible after 1-2 months.

Benefits of tomatoes for men positive action in the treatment of prostate adenoma and prostatitis. Combination features beneficial vitamins micro and macro elements allow tomatoes to minimize the risk of developing prostate cancer and a number of other male diseases.

The effect of tomatoes on the body in old age

Tomato is the healthiest vegetable in the diet of the elderly. The beneficial effect is associated with high content in tomatoes carotene, vitamin C, potassium and lycopene. At the same time, only ripe tomatoes collected from branches were considered the most useful. When harvesting an unripe crop, the content of vitamins in fruits is much lower.

The benefits of tomatoes for the elderly are associated with the prevention of hypertension, arthrosis, diseases of the cardiovascular system, and improving blood composition.

Another useful property tomatoes for the elderly is a diuretic effect. Timely withdrawal of urine, and prevention of congestion, have a positive effect on overall well-being.

Useful properties of the processed product

Useful properties of tomatoes are preserved even in processed form. Children, the elderly, or people suffering from gastrointestinal diseases or bowel disorders are recommended to eat boiled tomatoes or after light thermal processing. So they are better absorbed. Use stewed tomatoes good for the liver.

Well proven tomato juice. It is rich in vitamins, calcium, manganese, iodine, iron, zinc and other minerals. The presence of pectin in large quantities helps to reduce cholesterol in the blood, remove inflammatory processes in organism.

The benefits of salted tomatoes are not significantly different from fresh product. The main thing is to follow the rules of preparation. The recipe should be completely free of vinegar. Salted and pickled tomatoes retain lycopene, which has antioxidant properties. Also under the action of the marinade is not destroyed more vitamins and minerals. This means that even in brine the product retains its positive influence on the body.

Negative effects and possible contraindications

The harm and benefits of tomatoes are in the neighborhood. Tomatoes have been scientifically proven to be harmful when consumed without regard individual characteristics and existing diseases internal organs. Negative Facts vegetables have been known since ancient times. Ancient people called it poisonous and forbade using it for food.

The harmful properties of tomatoes are associated with the content of glycoalkaloid in it - a complex organic matter. Its content in large quantities is observed in unripe fruits.

If it enters the human body in large quantities, symptoms such as stomach pain, nervous system disorder, headache. Therefore, harm, tomatoes for the human body are only in an immature state.

If we talk more seriously about the dangers of ripe tomatoes, it is worth listing a list of diseases in which the fruits should be consumed with caution or completely excluded from the diet.

Contraindications include:

• the presence of stones in the gallbladder;
• kidney disease;
• joint diseases;
• gout;
• allergic reaction;
• ulcerative formations in the stomach;
• acute stage of pancreatitis;
• increased acidity of the stomach;
• arthritis;
• diseases of the cardiovascular system;
• gastrointestinal disorders.

It should be noted that in case of increased acidity of the stomach and peptic ulcers, it is not recommended to eat tomatoes in fresh. But they can be eaten stewed. As a replacement, great fit stewed tomatoes with sour cream. They lower negative impact vegetables on the stomach.

Salted and canned tomatoes adversely affect the condition of patients with gastritis. In this case negative properties consist in salt, vinegar and a large number of spices that are added to the marinade. When eating tomatoes or switching to a diet with them high content, you should familiarize yourself with the list of contraindications in advance or consult with your doctor.

Tomatoes bring benefits or harm to health, everyone decides for himself. Experts unequivocally agree that patients who regularly consume vegetables in moderate amounts and do not abuse salt and vinegar, suffer less from age-related disorders and a number of other diseases.

Ecology of consumption. Food and drink: Tomato not only has excellent palatability, but also contains a large number of useful and healing properties ...

Only red tomatoes contain the most valuable lycopene, which brings great benefit body. Lycopene is able to resist radiation, ultraviolet radiation, free radicals contributes to the prevention of cardiovascular and oncological diseases and also reduces the rate of human aging.

Lycopene is from the class of carotenoids, but is 2-3 times more active than beta-carotene found in carrots and in many foods. And we will find it only in red tomatoes, nowhere else.

But if you eat a bowl of tomato salad every day, you won’t protect yourself from heart attack and cancer, because the intestines are able to absorb lycopene dissolved in vegetable oil, and it’s preheated well. It turns out that a fried tomato is incomparably more useful than a raw one - it gives us 100% of the lycopene contained in it.

If you are making scrambled eggs with tomatoes, then first fry the chopped tomatoes, and then fill them with eggs. In this case, lycopene will be qualitatively isolated from the tomato.

if you love raw tomatoes or tomato juice, you just get vitamins C, B2, B1, P, K and others, as well as minerals such as sodium, calcium, potassium, magnesium. In this case, you simply do not get the healing lycopene.

But they are rich in tomato paste, which is prepared with obligatory heating. The best one is made from ripe tomatoes grown under the hot southern sun, and does not contain any components other than ordinary salt. Therefore, it is useful to add it to meat dishes, to potatoes, pasta, pizza instead of delicious multi-component ketchup.

A task force of the World Anti-Cancer Union examined large groups of people in the Mediterranean countries. She came to the conclusion that men here get prostate cancer much less often - precisely because they eat spaghetti and pizza, popular in these parts, with tomato paste.

Preventive effect tomato paste It will be even more noticeable if you fry it in vegetable oil. Fry until the oil turns red. Wherein total weight product is reduced by about half: the water is evaporated, and the red tomato oil takes its place.

By the way, this is exactly what they do when preparing Ukrainian borscht. Fried tomatoes are added to their national dishes by the Greeks and Spaniards. This means that people have long intuitively felt how to properly extract the most valuable substance probably not even knowing it existed.

Tomatoes can be harmful to people with hyperacidity stomach, allergy sufferers, as tomatoes can cause allergies. Symptoms are hives, itching, skin rash, headache, abdominal pain, insomnia, hyperactivity, runny nose.

Conclusion: tomatoes are useful in any form, but fried ones, it is tomato oil that is wonderful and available remedy prevention of cardiovascular and oncological diseases. The harm of tomatoes is mostly exaggerated, and depends on the amount of consumption.published

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