A message on how to overcome fear. Additional tips for conquering fear

It is possible to cope with a phobia on your own, but it is better to consult a psychotherapist. The main thing is not to let this process take its course and not try to avoid solving the problem. In order to overcome your fear, you should realize that in most cases all phobias are groundless and meaningless. It is important to learn to believe in yourself and your strengths, to lead a healthy and active image life. In order to think less about the phobia, you should devote a lot of time to your favorite activity, hobby.

You can try to face your fear. However, not everyone will be able to overcome themselves and take advantage of this radical method. During an attack panic attack you should breathe correctly, be able to relax the muscles of your face and body, and think about positive things. To get rid of fears, you should not resort to drinking alcohol, drugs or coffee, as this will only lead to excitement nervous system.

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General concept of pathology

Obsessive fears are distinguished by the fact that a person understands the meaninglessness of the phobia, but continues to be afraid. This phenomenon most often occurs in childhood and can haunt a person all his life.

There are several hundred obsessive fears. Among them are fear of heights, society, spiders, closed spaces, diseases, intimate relationships, communication and others. Such phobias are often uncontrollable and bring a person many problems, since it prevents him from establishing personal life, get a job, communicate with friends and family.

Phobias can be classified based on the situation, specific object, age, symptoms, gender of the person. Today, scientists distinguish 4 groups of main phobias:

1. Zoophobias are fears that are associated with flora and fauna.
2. Social phobias involve fear of everything that a person encounters every day.
3. Agoraphobia – fear of open space. These could be doors, windows.
4. Fears that cannot be classified into the previous categories. These include health-related phobias, fear of the dark, fear of confined spaces, and many others.

Signs of obsessive fears

Phobias can be easily recognized by the following symptoms:

Feeling of difficulty breathing, throat spasm.
High heart rate.
Feeling of weakness, faintness.
Numbness of the whole body.
Feeling of horror, intense fear.
Tremor throughout the body.
Vomiting, indigestion.
The body “does not listen” to a person.
The person feels as if he is “going crazy.”

We can talk about the presence of a phobia if at least 4 of the listed signs of obsessive fears are present.

Men's fears

IN modern world There is an opinion that men are not prone to excessive worries, and they are practically not afraid of anything. However, this point of view is erroneous, since representatives of the stronger half of humanity also have many fears that men try to overcome:

1. The most common phobia of men is the fear of loneliness. They are afraid of losing their soulmate, being left alone, abandoned and unwanted. However, most men will never admit it because they don’t want to look pathetic.
2. Fear of new relationships. Unlike women, who can easily plunge into new feelings, men try to hide their emotions, experiences and tears. They try to control themselves so as not to fall in love again and not lose their priceless freedom.
3. Fear of looking feminine, as men associate this with weak character, obedience and humility. If he has at least once noticed feminine traits in his character or behavior, this fear will always be present in the man’s mind.
4. Fear of the subordinate. Many men like to gossip about henpeckedness. If a young man notices that his friend is completely submissive to his other half, this will cause a storm of protest. Therefore, men do everything possible to avoid being in such a situation by showing their most masculine traits.
5. Fear of failure. Every man wants to achieve material well-being and financial independence. Therefore, if he realizes that he has failed in something, he immediately counts himself among the ranks of losers. On the positive side This fear is that this phobia forces men to become stronger, to reach new heights, overcoming difficulties and obstacles.

It is difficult for a man to overcome fear on his own, no matter what it is associated with. He will need outside help. However, he must understand that all fears are based on subjective factors and the characteristics of the man himself.

Most male phobias were formed in childhood or adolescence. For example, if a young man has been rejected by women several times, then this fear will remain with him for the rest of his life. If you are afraid of meeting the opposite sex, you must immediately warn the girl about this. In most cases, such sincerity in a man’s behavior disarms the ladies. He can meet girls as much as necessary until he begins to feel comfortable in the company of a lady. An intelligent and tactful woman will help in this case. It all depends on the willpower and character of the man. After all, in order to overcome their fear, some people need delicate treatment, while others need a tougher approach.

Often, men get rid of fears with the help of alcohol. This is one of the biggest mistakes, since under the influence of alcohol you can only worsen the situation. In order to overcome your fears, you can use other methods, for example, hobbies, hobbies. Active recreation, visiting clubs, going to the cinema will help you cope with the problem. Physical activity can help you recharge yourself with positivity and strengthen your spirit. It is better to give preference to such active sports as tennis, football, kickboxing.

Women's phobias

The difference between typical female phobias and male ones is that they are not associated specifically with one subject, but represent a whole series of interrelated fears

Left alone

This is due to the fact that a woman is afraid of not getting married and being a girl for too long. Married women are afraid adultery and being abandoned by a man, even if there are no serious reasons. Gradually, this thought becomes obsessive and develops into a serious phobia, and depression develops. The reason for the appearance of such fears is a woman’s inferiority complex, self-doubt and low self-esteem.

The fight against this type of fear must begin with self-love. We must believe that every person deserves a good life and respectful treatment.

Lose beauty, old age

This phobia is inherent in successful and self-confident women. However, over time, they begin to think that time moves inexorably forward. The best solution in the fight against this fear will not be expensive plastic surgery and creams, and healthy image life, balanced nutrition, activities active species sports and positive thinking.

Old age phobia most often begins to manifest itself in women over the age of 50 and is associated with her place in society and family. This may include them misreporting their age in social networks, questionnaires. Another option for the manifestation of a phobia is that a woman begins to dress inappropriately for her age, while she looks ridiculous and funny. Women do not want to retire or take care of their grandchildren, citing their public employment. Correction of this phobia must begin with awareness of one’s self. You need to learn to realize and accept your age along with its positive and negative qualities, know the value of your years.

Completeness

Fear of being fat can have quite dangerous consequences. Trying to look like the models on glossy magazine covers, women go on radical diets, which leads to anorexia and disruption of the functioning of all organs and systems.

To get rid of this phobia, you should realize the value of your health. Instead of fasting, you can start sticking rational nutrition and lead an active lifestyle. This will help you maintain your weight.

Before birth

Fear of motherhood, which includes fear of childbirth and pregnancy. A woman has a fear of childbirth, she is afraid of pain and death. This phobia is typical for women with an inferiority complex. Negative point this fear is that it is accompanied by disruptions autonomic system, has a detrimental effect on the process of conception, pregnancy and childbirth.

Concerns about the child are an integral part of maternal care. But we must not allow natural feelings to develop into a phobia, which can affect the state of a woman’s nervous system. You need to realize that childbirth lasts only a few hours, this is negligible compared to whole life ahead. Modern medicine can ensure a relatively comfortable birth (with the use of epidural anesthesia) and guarantee 99% that everything will be fine with the woman. The main thing is to call an ambulance in time at the first contractions. Must read fewer stories on the Internet and tune in to the positive, since each birth is individual. If your friends or sisters had them severely, painfully and lasted for days, this does not mean that it will be the same for you. There are many counter examples.

Insects, amphibians

The reason for the appearance of such fear lies in childhood. In order to get rid of the obsessive fear of insects, spiders and snakes, you need to look fear in the eye: pick it up, touch it.

Driving a car

The fear of driving a car is due to the fact that a woman is afraid of getting into an accident, damaging the car, breaking the rules traffic or be ridiculed by other road users. This fear does not require special correction. Fear of the road and cars goes away on its own after a woman gains driving experience over time. You can improve your skills on training grounds or not very busy roads.

Public opinion and condemnation by other people

Fear occurs most often in women with complexes and lack of self-confidence. In order to get rid of it, you should set clear priorities for yourself, realize that your own happiness does not depend on the opinions of the people around you.

Types of phobias and methods of getting rid of them

Anyone can have one or more phobias, which affects their character, behavior and attitude towards certain things.

Type of phobia	How to get rid of it?
Claustrophobia - fear closed premises. Manifests itself in attacks panic fear while in a closed space. It could be an elevator, a car. This group of fears includes fear of crowds	You need to try to communicate more with people who have already overcome fear. You should not avoid crowded places and cramped spaces, since it is impossible to get rid of this fear in absentia. If an attack of fear occurs in an elevator, then by force of will you need to concentrate your attention on some object, for example, buttons
Gerontophobia - fear of one's own aging and fear of communicating with older people	Doctors say that people who have their own point of view, who are difficult to anger, and who do not succumb to a melancholy mood, look good and retain their youth longer. Should be replaced bad habits useful, think positively
Trypanophobia - fear of needles, syringes, injections, which is caused by poor quality medical care, careless attitude of doctors towards their patients	To avoid a panic attack, you don’t have to watch the health worker perform the manipulation. You should distract yourself with something, for example, listen to music, watch an interesting video
Aerophobia - fear of flying in an airplane	You should fly as often as possible. Every successful landing will leave a trace in the subconscious that flying an airplane is safe. You need to buy tickets from a company that has a good reputation. When purchasing a ticket, you should choose the middle row away from the window. You should not drink coffee before takeoff. Better eat a mint candy
Dentophobia is the fear of visiting the dentist. People suffering from this phobia go to the dentist in extremely rare cases.	In order to alleviate the patient’s condition, dentists recommend performing all procedures under sedation. Before visiting the dentist, you need to think about what modern medicine owns big amount new painkillers. You can chat with loved ones who recently visited the dentist and nothing happened to them. We must remember that even the most severe pain in a person is erased from memory after 3 hours
Insectophobia - fear of insects, especially ants and bees	When encountering an insect, you need to breathe deeply, try to relax and even smile. You can develop a program for yourself that will help you get rid of this phobia in a few months. To do this, you first need to learn to stay in the same room with the insect for up to 3 minutes. Then don’t be afraid to approach at a distance of 2–3 meters. After this, you need to overcome your fear and not be afraid to watch the insect for 1 minute. You must learn to cover the animal with a can or bucket tied to a long stick
Herpetophobia is the fear of reptiles. This fear is not uncommon. It is mainly associated with lizards and snakes	The best method of getting rid of this phobia is hypnotherapy. In order to cope with fear, you should learn as much as possible interesting information and read about reptiles
Agraphobia is a phobia of sexual harassment. Signs of this fear are rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, dry mouth, increased anxiety	If the fear of sexual harassment prevents you from living and communicating normally with the opposite sex, then treatment by qualified specialists is recommended. Methods such as suggestion, conversation, hypnosis are used in the therapy process.
Autophobia is a pathological fear of loneliness. A feeling of fear arises in situations when a person is left alone and tries to occupy himself with something, but it is to no avail.	You should realize that it is impossible to be in communication with people all the time. Loneliness is quite normal phenomenon. You need to find something to do that won't give you the opportunity to be sad. It could be a new job, a hobby, a passion, a pet.
Agoraphobia is the fear of open space. It can be large areas, deserted streets	You should relax, close your eyes and imagine how a person comes home and crosses the threshold of the house, continuing to move around the apartment with slow steps. If at any stage there is a feeling of discomfort, you should start the journey over. You should understand where the “anchor point” is, what forces a person to be at home. The size of the point should not be more than 1 cm. When a person discovers this place and feels comfortable there, he should move further until the fact is realized that the comfort zone is created only by the person himself and no one else
Algophobia - fear of pain. The reason for the development of this phobia is pain previously experienced in unpleasant situation, for example, in a fight	You should do auto-training 3 times a week, study relaxation techniques such as yoga, acupressure, tai chi. During a panic attack, what should you do? deep breaths and exhale with your stomach
Spectrophobia - fear of mirrors and one's reflection	You should overcome yourself and stand in front of the mirror during the day and start talking pleasant words yourself, the room, the mirror. You can invite someone close to you to help

You can't wait for the process to progress severe form. If you miss the moment when fear begins to develop, then later it will be impossible to overcome it on your own.

Look at environment and living life from a positive perspective. If you imagine an unpleasant future, the situation will only get worse.
Meet your phobia eye to eye. The method is quite radical and quite effective. Although not everyone can dare to do this.
Ability to relax during a panic attack. You can start talking loudly, singing, laughing.
Breathe correctly. Convulsive sobs and sighs will not help in any way to overcome an attack of panic fear. Breathing should be calm, even, deep and rhythmic.
Complete relaxation of the muscles of the body and face will help you calm down faster.
You should not use drugs, alcohol or coffee to overcome your phobia. This will only worsen the situation, since these methods have a stimulating effect on the human nervous system.

Special techniques for dealing with fears

There are many special psychological techniques that will help you overcome fear on your own.

1. Face-to-face technique.

This technique should be practiced twice every day. For 10 minutes you should think only about your fear, bringing yourself to the point of starting a panic attack. Its paradox lies in the fact that in order to get rid of fear, one must experience severe emotional discomfort. After a few minutes, the person begins to realize that there is no danger. You just need to calmly repeat those thoughts that caused anxiety before. This state must be maintained throughout the entire 10 minutes, otherwise everything will be useless.

This technique is based on the ability of the nervous system to quickly recover and stabilize after a strong emotional shock. After just a few days of using this technique, a person notices that he simply has nothing to fill these 10 minutes with. He will begin to get bored as the feeling of fear begins to gradually disappear. The body’s stress system will no longer react violently every time to the appearance of a stimulus.

2. Technique for writing down your fears.

In order to overcome obsessive fear, you can try the technique of writing down your phobia. It consists of writing down verbatim throughout the day all your thoughts that arise about fear from the moment the worry begins until it ends. You shouldn't try to write everything down in nice sentences. You can simply word for word as a stenographer at a meeting.

The essence of this method is that when fear passes from a person’s consciousness to paper, it materializes, acquires features and, as a result, looks primitive and meaningless. After a while, it will become uninteresting to write the same words, and the fear will gradually go away.

3. The technique of singing your phobias.

Good for getting rid of obsessive thoughts fear singing technique. You need to sing exactly as they appear in your head. If a person sings, then he simply physically cannot remain in under stress. Must select a short phrase and hum it to a simple tune for several minutes. As soon as the negative feelings begin to disappear, you need to immediately switch your attention to something else.

4. Technique for changing the picture in your head.

This technique works well in cases where a person cannot express his feelings in words, since they are only a picture that appears in his head. At the moment fear appears, you need to imagine a picture completely opposite to your phobia. For example, if a person suffers from claustrophobia, then you need to immediately imagine yourself in a large open field. If a person is afraid of some kind of disease, one must imagine oneself happy and healthy.

There is no need to be afraid to seek help from a specialist. It is necessary to distinguish between a psychotherapist - a doctor who deals with mild mental disorders, for example, phobias, and a psychiatrist who treats severe illnesses, for example, schizophrenia, and who can register the patient. Seeing a psychotherapist has no consequences. The doctor won't prescribe serious drugs, but will help cope with the phobia through conversation, suggestion, and hypnosis.

Fears and phobias greatly complicate existence, making it difficult to adequately perceive reality and enjoy life. There are several ways to overcome phobias, but in order to know exactly how to overcome fear, it is important to understand the reasons for its occurrence.

What is fear?

This is one of the strongest human emotions. Fear creates a psychological barrier that is difficult, but quite possible, to overcome on your own.

There are several types of fears:

Congenital;
Acquired in the process of upbringing through the fault of the immediate environment;
Acquired as a result of bad experience;
Irrational fears.

Innate fears- these are practically self-preservation instincts: fear of falling or loud sounds. There is no need to overcome them, just control them is enough - after all, absolute fearlessness is also destructive. For example, cremophobia (fear of an abyss, an abyss) is quite understandable and even justified.

Acquired in childhood due to the fault of the surrounding society:

Atychiphobia (fear of mistakes, failure);
dysmorphophobia (dissatisfaction with one's own appearance);
gelotophobia (fear of becoming an object of ridicule or jokes);
hipengiophobia;
decidophobia (fear of responsibility and decision-making, respectively);

Fear of repeating a bad experience:

Dentophobia (internal fear of dentists);
nosophobia and nosocomephobia (fear of illness and hospitals, respectively);
Gamophobia (fear of marriage);
agraphobia (fear of rape, sex, harassment).

These phobias arise as a result of previous unpleasant experiences.

Irrational phobias:

Iophobia (fear of poisoning);
psychrophobia (fear of cold);
megalophobia (fear of large, large-scale objects or objects);
gravidophobia (fear of pregnant women);
verminophobia (fear of becoming infected with something through bacteria, worms and microbes);
crystallophobia or hyalophobia (fear of touching glass products).

These fears are logically inexplicable, it is difficult to understand where they came from, although they can also be overcome, like other phobias.

This is just a short list of phobias, inherent in people and recognized by the International Association of Psychiatrists. In fact, the list is much longer, but the reasons for their occurrence (and therefore the methods of getting rid of them) are for the most part similar. Once you understand the overall system, you can completely overcome any fear on your own.

How to understand the cause of a phobia and overcome it?

First step- this is to try to understand yourself and classify your fear. If you decide to deal with the problem yourself, read the materials on this topic, read articles and publications of psychologists. Although, it is not always possible to understand the information received the first time or whether it gives full picture. For example, you suffer from atychiphobia, have read a couple of articles and already know that its roots go back to childhood, but you cannot understand how exactly it arose.

Psychologists explain– atychophobia, hipengiophobia or decidophobia, as a rule, affects children of overly demanding, authoritarian parents who demand constant success from their child, hinder the manifestation of initiatives, suppress attempts to express desires or claims, solving all life issues for them. All this is strengthened in the child’s psyche and turns into a fear of making independent decisions that can lead to defeat. Overcoming such fear is more difficult.

Important! In order to overcome this fear, think about your present, list all your achievements that you have the right to be proud of (it’s better to write it down on paper), remember all the situations when you had to make any decisions. After reviewing all this, you will understand that you have long been an adult and independent person responsible for his own life.

It would not be amiss to remember that in real life successes always alternate with failures, ups and downs. This will help you overcome self-doubt and overcome phobia.

The same applies to gelotophobia. It is clear that it arises against the background of self-doubt, when in childhood there was already experience of ridicule from classmates. Children are sometimes cruel to each other, and ridicule from adults indicates that they are complex. Gelotophobia needs to be suppressed and simply outgrown. Think about it, you are no longer a frightened child, you are an adult, successful man. By working to improve your self-esteem, you can also overcome your fear of being ridiculed.

It’s a little more difficult to overcome acquired phobias; it’s not just a matter of the subconscious. You have already experienced this situation and are fully aware of the specific emotions. In this case, imagining and replaying the scene on your own will not work to overcome fear. You need to bring logic into play and, based on facts (for example, the percentage probability of the disease returning, in the case of nosophobia), convince yourself that the past should be left behind. Then you will be able to overcome fear.

Causes of irrational fear: how to overcome?

If other types of fears, as a rule, are tied to certain objects or cases, from where various strange, irrational phobias appear, no specialist can say with certainty. This is very individual and depends on many other factors. The vast majority of people themselves do not understand the reason for their fear. What could be dangerous, for example, in a crystal (crystalphobia) vase or in a cheerful yellow color(xanthophobia). There is also globophobia - the fear of balloons. One should not think that a person suffering from globophobia is afraid of the loud sound of a popping balloon. He is afraid of the balls themselves and, seeing them, tries to go around a kilometer away. In these cases, you most likely will not be able to overcome fear on your own. It is better to contact a psychologist who will help overcome it.

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Children's fears: treatment

Children also often experience various kinds fears – fear of the dark or loud noises. But basically, children's fears are of natural origin and do not develop into phobias.

Psychologists have determined what fears are normal for children by age:

babies under 2 years old are afraid of loud sounds, strangers, large objects;
It is normal for children from 3 to 6 years old to be afraid of imaginary monsters in the closet, ghosts, the dark, and strange sounds. They also do not like to fall asleep alone;
at the age of 7-16 years such fears as fear of public speaking, natural disasters, death, illness, loss of loved ones.

Important! All these fears are completely normal and do not indicate any mental disorders child, you don’t even have to try to overcome them.

Ways to overcome fear

First of all, you need to remember that not all fears should be fought - some of them are internal defensive reaction to danger and are important for self-preservation. You just need to learn to control this emotion so that it does not develop into a phobia that complicates your life.

Advice from psychologists will help you overcome the feeling that prevents you from living a full life:

How to overcome fear using a gradual method. Suppressing fear gradually leads to excellent results and does not cause you to experience a stressful situation. For example, when aerophobia(fear of flying, most often manifests itself against the background of a fear of heights) you need to gradually get used to the heights. Try to get as close to the window as possible and look down at the street to overcome fear. When you get used to the sensations, open the window, gradually reach the point of leaning on the windowsill open window(start from the 4th floor and gradually move to higher floors). Don't expect that fear can be completely overcome. Your goal is to make him controllable. At the same time, start looking for information about airplanes and aircraft manufacturing. Facts will help you make sure that the mechanism of a given vehicle is safe and overcome fear. By the way, according to statistics, the number of casualties in plane crashes is much less than in car accidents or train crashes. That is, air transport can be called the most safe means movement: the chances of dying during a flight are 1:10,000,000.
How to overcome fear with a sharp method. This method advises you to simply make up your mind and do what you are afraid of. Many people say: “I can’t, I don’t want to.” We need to act decisively. The method works when dentophobia. If you are afraid of going to the dentist because of what he has done to you in the past severe pain, choose another dentist and, when you meet, warn him about your concerns. To combat heliophobia (fear of the sun and tanning), read the safety information about being underwater. sun rays and take a step towards the warmth and light of the sun. There is no need to blindly believe information about the harmfulness of UV radiation - sunlight necessary for the life of all living organisms, you just need to follow the rules for staying in the sun and use protective creams.
How to overcome fear using a logical method. This method advises discussing your fear with loved ones. For example, with herpetophobia (fear of snakes, reptiles), you can talk about them, study the facts - which types of reptiles are really dangerous to humans, study their color. The next step in overcoming fear will be looking at pictures of snakes and visiting the serpentarium. There you will be completely safe and will be able to overcome your fear. You already understand the types of snakes, and “forewarned is forearmed.” Knowing which reptile poses a threat will help you feel much calmer. This way you can eliminate and overcome your fear.
How to overcome fear using self-hypnosis. It is one of the most effective ways to overcome fear in yourself. If you suffer from doxophobia (fear of expressing your opinion), remember where it came from. Maybe you were ridiculed for speaking your mind as a child, or even as an adult. Replay that situation in your own way to overcome fear. Imagine that your opinion was heard with respect, or (if you think your previous statement was incorrect) replay your answer in a new way. Write down on paper all your achievements and successes. Think about how many times you have been asked about something, at least in the professional sphere. Every time you need to speak out, think that if you were asked, it means that your opinion is important and necessary for someone. That's all you need to do to overcome your fear of speaking your mind.

When should you see a psychologist?

It's best to try to overcome your fears on your own first. This will significantly increase your confidence in own strength. But if you feel that your fear is getting out of control and developing into panic attacks, you should contact a specialist.

Symptoms of panic attacks that you need to know to overcome fear:

Dizziness;
Weakness in the knees;
Increased sweating;
Trembling in the limbs;
Nausea;
Labored breathing.

Important! In especially severe cases, vomiting and fainting are added. If you experience any of these symptoms, you should not delay visiting a psychologist to overcome your fear.

People who have overcome their fears advise not to give up and overcome them in every possible way.

They shared their experience of overcoming phobias and made a list practical advice how to overcome fear:

Most effective remedy to overcome phobias, gradually and repeatedly expose yourself to the thing you fear in a safe and controlled manner;
Take some time to figure out (identify) your fears and ask yourself why you have them. If you prefer, write down what you come up with and analyze each thought so that you can better understand the cause of your fears and overcome them. This will help reduce their importance and significance, and perhaps completely get rid of them.
Feel free to talk to a family member or friend about the concerns you are experiencing to help overcome your fear. Your loved ones may experience similar fears, or they can help you overcome them. Talking to loved ones may not overcome your fear, but it will certainly ease your anxiety.
If you are afraid of planes, book a short trip to overcome your fear. If you are afraid of dogs or cats, visit an animal shelter. If you are afraid to speak in front of big crowd, take part in an event that requires public speaking to overcome your fear. Whatever your fear, face it head on. You need to prove that you are stronger than your fears. This is the only way you can make sure that all the fears in your head are unrealistic and can be overcome;
Be optimistic, try to think only about the good and never predict negative events. You can't control the future, but everyone knows that thoughts have the ability to materialize, especially negative ones. Therefore, enjoy life to quickly overcome fear.

Some useful tips from psychotherapists on how to overcome fear:

Never try to overcome your fears with alcohol. It changes mental sensitivity, distorts reality and can push one to commit rash and life-threatening actions;
Avoid coffee and caffeinated drinks. It has the ability to excite, increase anxiety, increase heart rate and can cause tremors of the limbs;
During a panic attack, take deep breaths and exhale slowly. It has been proven that deep breathing calms nerves and helps overcome fear;
Give yourself sleep and rest sufficient quantity hours;
Find interesting hobby. It will fill your thoughts with enthusiasm and positivity and help you overcome fear.

Conclusion

How to make fear disappear? Try to overcome it as quickly as possible. Even children understand that fears poison life. At the presentation of a social studies lesson in 6th grade, schoolchildren made several wise sayings:

“Fear is the weakness and enemy of man”;
“Fear prevents you from achieving your desired goals and fulfilling your dreams”;
“Fear leads to failure.”

Remember this! A person who has been able to overcome his phobia feels relief and pride. This significantly increases interest in life and chances of success in all areas.

Each of us faces fear from time to time, and in some cases it is fear that provides us with security. But sometimes fear prevents us from Everyday life. If you want to overcome fear, this article is just for you.

Steps

Part 1

Understand the reason for fear

It is important to take action in time if fear turns into obsession or phobia. It's completely normal to be afraid of something. Chances are you were scared to ride a bike when you first got on one, maybe you were scared to take a job interview. new job. However, when fears begin to control your entire life and negatively affect you, it becomes real problem. If you feel that your fear is turning into a phobia, it begins to cause severe stress, which affects your functioning, you may feel restless and nervous. Focus on your fears and try to understand how much they affect your life. Are you unable to move forward towards achieving your goals because of your fears? Here are some signs that your fear is developing into a more serious problem:

fear makes you feel anxious and panicky;
you understand that your fear is unfounded;
you begin to avoid certain places and situations;
trying to ignore this fear causes you stress and prevents you from living peacefully;
this fear has existed for six months (or longer).

Understand the symptoms of fear. Fears often manifest themselves in the form of phobias, which can include phobias of specific situations (for example, fear of public speaking), fear of certain animals (snakes or spiders), fear of blood, needles, and so on. When you experience fear, various physiological, mental and emotional reactions occur, which may include:
- increased heart rate;
- labored breathing;
- dizziness;
- heavy sweating;
- overwhelming panic and anxiety;
- the need to disappear;
- feeling of detachment;
- feeling like you might faint or die;
- a feeling of powerlessness over your fear, even if you know it is irrational.
Think about any traumatic events. If you are involved in a car accident, driving can be a scary and intimidating experience that you will try to avoid. Perhaps you were mugged on your way home one day, and the thought of returning home after work automatically triggers panic. There are many ways to deal with fears, and naturally, these include avoiding any traumatic events.
- Although fear is an adequate response of the body to various traumatic events and situations, some of them are simply inevitable. Recognize that your fear is real and the problem needs to be addressed.
Think about how many fears come from childhood. You may be very afraid of snakes, but you cannot even understand where this fear comes from. Some studies suggest that fears can arise in childhood, and children can adopt them from their parents through a special “biological” connection. Other data suggests that children “process” information about the world around them, and they develop certain fears and concerns because they observe different events that may pose a threat. By observing how adults interact with some object or situation, the child learns to create associations, among which is the association “scary” or “potentially dangerous” (regardless of the actual risk).

Recognize that it is normal to be afraid of something. Fear is an adaptive property of our body, which in some way prolongs our life. Do you feel fear when you approach the edge of a cliff? This is an adaptive fear, and it seems to tell you: “This is very dangerous and can cost you your life! Be careful!" It is fear that causes the “fight or flight” response in our body, and this reaction prepares our body for the actions necessary to protect itself.
- Understand that fear can be quite useful, remember the positive protective role which he plays.
Part 2
Learn to deal with your fear
1. Acknowledge your specific fears. It's easy to ignore or deny your fears, even to yourself. But you can't turn on courage until you face your fear. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step to taking control of the situation.
  - Name your fear. Sometimes fear makes itself known instantly and completely clearly, but there are times when it is difficult to understand anxious feelings that hide in the depths of our mind. Try to “pull out” your fear and name it. This can be a specific fear (for example, a fear of cats) or situational (for example, a fear of being called to the board).
  - Don't judge your fears. Acknowledge your feelings without dividing them into “good” and “bad.”
2. Understand triggers. Is it something obvious, like a snake on the road? Perhaps when you walk past your guidance counselor's door at work, you immediately remember walking down the halls in high school? Find out what exactly is causing your fear. The better you understand and acknowledge your fear, the easier it will be to fight it.
  
  Ask yourself how much is this fear holding you back and controlling you? Because of your fear, you are forced to stay at home instead of going to the lesson that you are terribly afraid of? Can't see your relatives because you're afraid to fly? Find out how strong your fear is, how much it controls your mind and your life.
3. Visualize your desired outcome. Now that you are more aware of your fear, think about what exactly you would like to change. Think about how you will live without this fear. How are you feeling? For example:
  - If your fear is a liability, imagine happy relationship with a partner.
  - If your fear is heights, imagine going on a hike. Try to feel a sense of accomplishment.
  - If you are afraid of spiders, imagine that you saw a spider, but took it calmly.
Part 3
Face your fears head on
1. Learn to recognize false beliefs. Many fears are based precisely on false beliefs or catastrophic thinking. That is, when you see a spider, you may immediately think that this spider will definitely harm you, and you may even die because of it. Learn to identify such thinking patterns and challenge them. Find more information about your fear on the Internet and understand that the actual risk is several times less than you think. Recognize that even the worst-case scenario is unlikely. Start reorganizing your thoughts so that you don't engage in catastrophic thinking, start interacting with those thoughts.
  - When fear arises, pause and think about the actual risk. Revisit your negative thoughts and false beliefs and say, “I accept the fact that some dogs are very aggressive, but most dogs are affectionate and kind creatures. It’s unlikely they’ll bite me.”
2. Try to practice gradual interaction. Once you become aware of your fears and false beliefs, begin to intentionally and gradually confront those fears. Often we are afraid of something because we have hardly experienced it. “Fear of the unknown” is a commonly used phrase that describes the feelings of people who have just encountered something new.
  - If you are afraid of dogs, start small: find an image of a cartoonish, stupidly painted dog on the Internet. Look at the image until you feel no fear.
  - Then look at a photo of a real dog, then do the same with the video. Study different images of dogs until you feel the fear is gone.
  - Then go to a park where owners often walk their dogs and watch the animals until you are no longer afraid.
  - Go visit a friend who has a dog. Observe his interactions with your pet until you feel calm.
  - Ask a friend if you can pet his dog while he plays with it. Pet the animal until you are no longer afraid.
  - Finally, the final step: stay with the dog and spend the whole day alone with the animal.
3. Try to face your fear more and more often. The power that awareness of your emotions gives you is very important for understanding yourself and your feelings and sensations. Additionally, exposing yourself to fear and intentionally verbalizing your fears gives you tremendous power and helps you combat fear and control your emotions. There have been a number of studies that have looked at the fear of spiders. Participants who recognized their fears (“I'm very afraid of this spider”) and interacted with the spider once next week showed much less fear when seeing another spider.
  - Running from fear will not help you get rid of it. The next time you feel afraid, try to delve into it, using words that help you describe your fear and anxiety.
4. Learn relaxation techniques. When your body experiences fear, many triggers prepare your body for a fight-or-flight response. Learn to anticipate this response in advance and counter it using relaxation techniques. Relaxation helps you understand that you are safe and not in danger. In addition, relaxation will help cope with anxiety and stress.
  - Try breathing exercises. Focus on your breathing and begin to count each inhalation and exhalation: inhale for four seconds, then exhale for four seconds. Once you feel comfortable, begin inhaling and exhaling for 6 seconds.
  - If you notice that your muscles are tense, try to focus on relaxing them. One way to do this is to tense all the muscles in your body for three seconds and then relax them. Do this exercise two or three times to relax your entire body.
Fear can have incredible power in different situations that concern life or death. People who have been subjected to such fear talk about the feeling of “time slowing down”; at such moments they feel a special surge of energy and instinctively know what to do. While others physiological processes takes only half a second to trigger a reaction in the body, the fear system works much faster. Fear also numbs the feeling of pain.
- Understanding positive aspects fear will help you use this emotion to your advantage. For example, many people experience stage fright, but this fear can help improve your productivity and focus on what you're doing. this moment in front of you. Learn to recognize and be aware of your fear, direct it to where it will be most useful.
- Most people feel fear before an event, but once they experience the event, they no longer feel fear. Remember that fear heightens all your senses, so you can complete a certain task more efficiently and effectively.
Start seeing opportunities in fear. Fear can be used as a tool to help us identify problems and solve them effectively. It is a guide, a red flag that warns us that some event or matter requires special attention. Once the initial discomfort of fear has passed, try to better understand your fear to see what you can learn from it.
- When you feel afraid of something unfamiliar, take it as a sign that you need to get to know the person or situation better.
- If you feel a twinge of fear about an upcoming event, create an action plan to ensure you are fully prepared for the event. For example, you can write down your steps on paper, you can rehearse before a performance, or you can work on developing your speech.

Consider consulting a psychologist if you feel like your fears are taking over you and your life. Qualified specialist will help you understand the sources of your fears and come up with ways to combat them.
Use your imagination to calm yourself rather than scare yourself further.
Don't give up! Fighting fear requires courage and energy. When you experience failure, it can be tempting to give up trying. But be determined and persistent, even when it seems impossible.

Warnings

Never do anything too dangerous to face your fear. Be sure to take care of your safety when facing your fears.

How to overcome fear? Does fear keep you from living? Is something scaring you? What are you afraid of? We are often afraid of the dangers that can await us every day at every step. We are afraid to appear funny when speaking in public, to encounter an unpleasant insect, to get sick or to harm our health. In fact, it is possible to overcome these fears. It doesn’t matter what exactly you fear and why you worry: in this article you will find 20 universal tips on how to cope with fears, and also find out what their causes are and what prevents us from overcoming them.

Overcome fear: 20 tips that really work

What is fear?

It is necessary to distinguish between fear and Fear appears when completely specific situation, for example, when a stranger is following you along an empty street, who you think is stalking you. Anxiety, on the contrary, is a rather general, non-specific emotion that arises in less certain situations. For example, the anxiety we feel when thinking about our future career or when someone criticizes us.

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Fear is an adaptive response to threats of a physical or psychological nature. However, it does not always arise in the face of real danger. Sometimes it can be caused by cognitive distortions. The level of intensity of fear can vary from virtually no fear to absolute panic. In fact, this emotion can become a real nightmare.

When does fear become a phobia?

If the fear of something becomes too great, excessive, it turns into a phobia. Phobia is a psychological disorder, while fear is a common healthy emotion.

Eat Various types phobias: fear of heights, fear of clowns or coulrophobia, fear of death, etc. Regardless of the reasons that cause such a reaction, all these phobias significantly reduce the quality of life of people suffering from them, negatively affecting all areas of daily activity. Can you imagine that there are people who are so afraid to go outside that they are forced to spend all their time indoors, locked up?

However, it is not at all necessary for fear to reach the size of a phobia in order to poison a person’s life. One way or another these psychological disorders can prevent us from performing even the most normal daily tasks. In this article you will find recommendations on how to get rid of fear, regardless of its degree and the reason that provokes this feeling.

Why are we afraid?

Fear is a completely habitual reaction that accompanies us throughout our lives. It forces you to act quickly and protect yourself from any danger. It increases our physiological activity, encouraging us to fight or flee. Fear is necessary for survival.

There are two main theories about how fear arises. The first, classical one, states that if we compare certain elements (snakes, heights, etc.) with situations that are harmful and dangerous for us (injuries, anxiety, etc.), we associate these stimuli with each other and thus acquire conditioned fear reflex.

1. Don't try to deny your fears.

As we indicated earlier, fear is a gift that helps us survive. We can also see it in animals in dangerous situations. Fortunately, our body warns us of an approaching threat. Can you imagine what will happen if you don't hide when you see a tiger in the room? Learning to coexist with this emotion is vital. Whatever unpleasant moments no matter what we have to endure, we should be grateful to fear.

2. Get to know yourself better

Self-reflection helps increase our comfort level. It allows us to understand how we feel or how we want to be, how to act. There is no need to deeply explore what the roots of our fear of snakes are, for example. However, understanding what stimuli trigger unpleasant emotions in us can help us develop effective and precise strategies to counter them.

3. Admit your fear

You are human. Living and acting as if fear does not exist is counterproductive. Feeling fear will not make you weaker or less respected. It doesn't matter if the object of your fear is unusual or confusing, it is still understandable and there are people who can support you. Your fear will not go away just because you ignore it. Recognizing fear is the first step towards overcoming it.

4. Rationalize your fears

Fear of fire is absolutely understandable if we see a fire. However, if every time we light an electric stove we think about a fire, then we are thinking illogically. Try to deal with yours.

You need to think about the likelihood of something happening and act accordingly. This will help get rid of unpleasant cognitive processes.

5. Watch other people struggle with fear.

There are quite common types of fears - for example, the fear of being fired or the fear of blood. It doesn't matter if the reason for your fear is atypical: remember that this emotion causes similar feelings in everyone. The only difference is the degree of intensity you are able to control. It can be very helpful to acknowledge that this emotion is natural and observe how other people deal with it.

6. Boost your

Some types of fears, such as fear of communication, are very upsetting for the people who experience them. This can have a negative impact on self-esteem. “I’m a loser, incompetent.” “Nobody wants a weakling like me.” Such thoughts are harmful and can provoke cognitive distortions that can significantly poison our lives.

In some cases, these beliefs can lead to deep internal discomfort and, as a result, severe psychological problems. Fears should not affect your self-esteem. Remember that we are all human and that everyone can experience fears, but we are always able to find a reasonable solution in any situation.

7. Take care of yourself

8. Don't avoid the object of your fear.

10. Challenge yourself a little

Conquering fear takes time and constant effort on your part. Try to visualize what you are afraid of first. For example, if you are afraid to play sports, imagine yourself playing with a ball. Visualizing yourself successfully doing things that scare you can help you feel more confident.

It may be difficult at first, but it will get easier and easier each time. Such exercises are the basis exposure therapy. You are gradually shown fear-provoking stimuli until you learn to cope with your emotions. For example, a person who is afraid of snakes can start by looking at a picture of a small snake, and so on until he is not afraid to be near a real cobra.

11. Don't confront your biggest fear directly.

It’s wonderful that you decided to overcome your fear, however, you shouldn’t do it too harshly. The exposure method involves a gradual approach to this goal under the guidance of a specialist. Independent attempts to dramatically overcome your fear, for example, by grabbing a tarantula with your hand, or going on stage to sing in front of an audience of thousands, can turn out to be completely counterproductive and aggravate the situation.

Think about how you can reward yourself for conquering fear. For example, if you are afraid to drive a car, imagine how great it will be to go on an exciting journey in your own car in interesting place, which you have long dreamed of, without depending on other people. It's hard to concentrate on this positive thought the moment you get behind the wheel. However, if we think not about accidents, but about a pleasant vacation, we will be distracted from negative thoughts. By the way, you can test your driving abilities using the CogniFit neuropsychological test for drivers.

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13. Reward yourself for success

If you're afraid of taking an elevator and the thought of getting stuck in one is shocking, give yourself a reward for the day you dare to take an elevator ride. For example, a bag of your favorite candy or a trip to the cinema. It is important that you acknowledge your success and want to move on.

14. Celebrate your progress

Keeping an observation diary is very useful, especially in situations when you suddenly begin to become depressed due to fear itself or for another reason. However, if you look in your diary and read about your successes, it will help you feel proud and continue to move forward and become even more effective. The path to success is not always smooth; there are ups and downs. However, persistence and determination will help you achieve excellent results. Plus, the act of writing down notes will help you blow off steam and reduce anxiety.

15. Get support from loved ones

Even if your friends or family don't share your fear, they know the feeling. You will feel better if you share with them your worries about being afraid to drive in the fog or communicate with your boss. It is likely that the people you are talking to have gone through similar experiences and can give you valuable advice. However, even just their support and participation can help you cope with any challenge.

16. Talk to people who share your fear

Find people who are going through the same thing as you, it will help you a lot. If you think your fear is unusual, or if you feel shy, feel misunderstood, or find it difficult to discuss it with someone, try talking to someone in the same situation (in person or even online). This will help you open up, exchange experiences, and learn something useful for yourself that didn’t occur to you on your own.

17. Don't be afraid of criticism

Often, no matter what fear we are trying to overcome - cycling, falling, or speaking English, our steps towards overcoming these fears can be criticized when we make mistakes or fail at something.

We all stumble sometimes. Most likely, others do not think about us as often as we think. And when someone criticizes us, we should not pay attention to negative comments - we lose much more by giving up our attempts.

18. Benefit from new technologies

Scientific and technological advances offer us enormous opportunities to overcome fear. There are already therapies based on virtual reality, which allow people to face their fears in complete safety. In addition, there are more simple ways– for example, various mobile applications, designed for a similar purpose.

In particular, special programs created for people suffering from aerophobia (fear of flying). These apps provide flight safety data and offer various exercises, reducing anxiety. Programs have also been developed for children to help them get rid of various games and others, for example, helping to overcome the fear of speaking in front of an audience.

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You should not be ashamed to ask for help in such a situation. Many people turn to specialists and achieve significant improvements. Fear therapy is truly effective.

Thank you very much for your interest in this material. Do you feel the strength to overcome your fears? We will be grateful for your questions and comments on the article.

Translated from Spanish by Anna Inozemtseva

Every person has their own fears and phobias, even the most ardent daredevils. Fear is a natural emotion that warns of danger and is a reflection of the conservation instinct.

But, along with fears, many people still experience self-doubt and self-doubt - a feeling that needs to be fought. How to overcome anxiety, embarrassment and self-doubt in front of any life situation and return yourself to a full and happy life?

Hesitation, indecisiveness and internal fears do not depend on gender and are characteristic of both women and men. An insecure person, experiencing anxiety, embarrassment in communicating with people, fear of being ridiculed in society, cannot realize his talents, abilities, or declare himself as a person worthy of respect.

As a rule, such people always remain in the shadows, are afraid to take on a new business or make important decisions, avoid public speaking, and do not dare to express their opinions and thoughts.

The problem of self-doubt, which prevents you from living and achieving success in adult life has been going on since childhood. The main reason is constant criticism and devaluation of any actions of the child on the part of his loved ones.

Later, criticism from teachers and ridicule from peers are added to the generation of fear and the development of an inferiority complex, and the problem takes root even more. How to overcome fear and self-doubt?

There are effective and simple ways that will help increase self-esteem, cope with embarrassment, anxiety in the face of difficulties and overcome internal self-doubt.

Ways to overcome self-doubt, fear and embarrassment

The following will help you get rid of feelings of uncertainty, fear, anxiety and embarrassment: effective ways and advice from psychologists:

1. Leaving the usual social circle(comfort zones)
An insecure person feels at ease and confident in a familiar environment, but as soon as he has to leave his comfort zone, he experiences panic. Accustom yourself gradually to do atypical and unusual things and actions. Go to places you have never been, take an elderly person across the road, ask a passer-by how to find the way, etc. Record your every action and achievement in the diary of the winner over your negative emotions. Over time, what caused fear will become commonplace.

2. Changing your image. Down with gray or black tones in clothes. Buy bright things that make you feel comfortable. Attractive appearance gives confidence to both men and women.

3. Effective method getting rid of embarrassment- to sign up for theater courses, a dance studio where you can cast aside all doubts, transforming into a completely new, confident person. Learn to control your emotions, feelings and body.

4. Don't avoid noisy companies, social events. New experiences and acquaintances will bring pleasure and will not allow you to get hung up on the problem.

5. Positive attitude towards life. Most people you meet on the street have sad and despondent faces. Stand out from the crowd, smile, bring positivity and optimism.

6. Set a goal for yourself, find motivation and boldly go towards your dream.

How to overcome the fear of death

It is human nature to fear death. Both men and women can experience panic anxiety and obsessive fear of losing loved ones, death and illness.

In particularly difficult cases, a person needs the help of a specialist to overcome the fear of death.

How to overcome your fear of heights

One of the common phobias is fear of heights, especially when it comes to air travel. To get rid of the fear of flying on an airplane, convince yourself that an airplane is the safest transport.

While on the plane, switch your attention to food, magazines, and music. Close your eyes and imagine those Beautiful places, where you are going. Only positive thoughts should be present during the flight!

Ways to overcome fear of fighting

Often, it is common for a man to feel anxious before a fight. Overcome self-doubt in stressful situation A way to turn anxiety into anger helps.

Sports anger will help a man become confident and emerge victorious from a fight.

How to overcome the fear of driving a car for a beginner and a woman

It is very difficult for women and men to overcome anxiety before driving a car, especially for a beginner.

Tips for new drivers: Constant training and experience help develop a sense of confidence behind the wheel.

How to overcome the fear of childbirth

Women during pregnancy often cannot overcome anxiety before the first birth. Fear for a child's life is normal.

Top tip– don’t be afraid of childbirth itself, because it’s natural natural process, listen to the recommendations and advice of doctors who will always help.

Remember that your child needs your confidence and positive attitude.

How to overcome depression and fear

Uncertainty and anxiety can make a person depressed and despondent. It will help you get out of this state exercise stress, walks in nature, communicating with people you like, as well as doing what you love. You shouldn’t withdraw into yourself and “eat” yourself from the inside.

How to overcome your child's fears

Children need help from parents and adults to overcome embarrassment, anxiety and uncertainty. Some of the most common phobias that a child faces are fear of speaking in public and fear of the dark. Below are some tips on how to overcome your shyness in public.

Tips for overcoming your fear of speaking in public

Stage fright in front of an audience must be overcome with your child. The main advice to parents is don’t force the baby, give him the right to choose. Always explain to your children that speaking in public is not scary at all if you are well prepared.

If the performance is unsuccessful, do not scold, do not criticize and always encourage the child.

Rehearsal is the best way to combat embarrassment and anxiety. Give a home performance in front of people he knows.

Instill confidence in your child, increase his self-esteem, and over time, the fear of the public will pass.

How to overcome fear of the dark

Children tend to be afraid of the dark.

The following tips will help you overcome it:

turn on a night light in the children's bedroom;
let the baby sleep with his favorite toy;
talk about his fears, ask him to draw him. Tear the “monster” drawn on paper or paint it with bright colors so that it becomes funny and cheerful. Is it possible to be afraid of funny things?
do not call your child a coward if he calls you for help, hug him, let the baby know that he has nothing to fear with you and is completely safe. Remember that our self-confidence is born in childhood.