How to overcome all fears in practice. How to overcome fear and get rid of phobias on your own? The worst turn of events

To begin with, let's decide that we will not fight our fears, since I consider this a useless exercise that does not lead to positive results. But what to do if fears prevent you from living?

Let's figure out the reasons for our fears. We have already talked about this in the article “Our fears. Where to look for reasons? And one of the main thoughts was that fear is a natural defensive reaction person to an approaching danger. Thus, it is worthwhile to clearly realize that fear fulfills protective function. So don't fight him! Fear needs to be accepted and understood from what our body or psyche is trying to protect us?

We have already considered the types of fears, and if you dig deeper, then each of them is rooted in one big fear - the fear of the unknown. Today, most of us feel, on average, well. We feel a certain relative comfort. But what will happen if some event that we are afraid of happens. Until we have gained some experience, our mind is able to paint the most frightening pictures for us.

Analyzing the experience of other people, news from TV, newspapers, rumors, our "good" consciousness (and often the unconscious) has a strong influence on us. Man, unfortunately, tends to think more in negative terms. And so when we imagine that we are in some kind of situation, we begin to imagine the worst case scenario. In turn, this creates even more fear.

Let's take a look at what is happening to us using the example of fear of losing a job. A person, having worked for 10 or even more years in one place, begins to realize that he is afraid of losing his job. Where did this fear come from? Naturally, this society has created this fear. This person often heard how his loved ones were fired, how people become less useful in their place with age, they constantly show about unemployment on TV, many friends after being fired cannot for a long time find a job, etc.

The atmosphere around the poor fellow is heating up over time and he is already beginning to imagine what will happen to him if he is fired. It becomes natural for him to see only minuses in this situation. He has already mentally made himself an unemployed man who collects bottles down the street. His family has nothing to eat and relatives constantly roll up scandals. What emotional state do you think will haunt this person? Naturally, he will experience such emotions as sadness, grief, anger, anger, aggression, resentment, etc. But let's stop and remember that he hasn't been fired yet, it's only fear that painted such a picture in his imagination!

But the car is already running! And a person who is in a deplorable state, also with outbursts of aggression, will not be able to do his job efficiently and maintain friendly relations with the team. Thus, he pushes himself even more to fulfill his yet unfulfilled scenario - to remain unemployed.

Let's leave the poor man alone and return to the fear of the unknown. It is he who pushes our mind to create a picture of the future. But it is worth noting that he can draw ANY PICTURE! AND THE CHOICE IS ONLY YOURS!

What does it mean? Yes, we tend to think negatively more often than positively. But this does not limit our freedom of choice in any way. We can take matters into our own hands and steer them in the right direction. If you are afraid of something, you do not need to imagine the worst case scenario. It is better to give yourself a chance to develop and imagine the MOST FAVORABLE OPTION FOR YOU TO EXIT THE SITUATION.

For example, if I get fired, then I can find best work, closer to home and more paid. I can do what I love and spend more time with my family.

Or another example, my loved one will leave me. If you broke up with your loved one, then perhaps this is not your person, perhaps he simply never loved you. AND EACH OF YOU DESERVE THE BEST! Each of us is worthy of sincere love, and above all, love for ourselves. And when you start loving yourself, there will be people who will love you for who you are.

Thus, we have figured out that our mind often itself generates our fears. And therefore, first of all, in order to defeat fear, you need to direct your thoughts in the right positive direction. Start thinking in terms of success! And you will definitely notice how fear will begin to let go, and new opportunities will appear in life.

But often, it is difficult for us to immediately switch, and fear has already gained its strength and does not let go of our thoughts. What to do in this case? There are several techniques that will allow you to relieve this emotional tension.

1. BREATH. In my opinion, the best medicine is breathing exercises. Let's remember that when a person is frightened, his breathing quickens, his inhalations and exhalations become shorter. When you notice that you are starting to breathe rapidly, try saying STOP to yourself and begin to control your breathing. Do deep breath and hold your breath for a few seconds, then exhale slowly. Repeat this 5-10 times and you will notice how your health has improved. side effects This exercise is a surge of strength and self-confidence, as well as the onset of a sense of calm and peace.

2. Connect to the breath POSITIVE THOUGHTS. IN this moment imagine a place where you feel happy. Maybe your family is with you, maybe you are alone. Let wonderful scenery, smells or sounds surround you. Give free rein to your imagination. Fix this picture and the next time fear creeps up on you, go back to the place where you are happy.

3. WORKING WITH EMOTIONS. I never cease to be amazed at how many emotions we hide in ourselves and do not give them an outlet. Often these negative experiences remain deep within us. The reason for this is our upbringing. But not worked out feelings and emotions can cause severe harm our health. And so I recommend using one simple way to do this.

Take a sheet of paper and a pen. In the upper corner, write the date and time, draw a horizontal line from one edge of the sheet to the other. Now write down everything you feel right now. If you experience fear, then write what it is connected with, what emotions it causes, etc. If you are overwhelmed with feelings and it is difficult for you to write something, then you can simply draw on a sheet. When you already feel that a calm void has formed inside, then draw a second horizontal line from edge to edge. Write the date and time. This piece of paper can simply be thrown away, torn or burned. But you shouldn't leave it. Let all negativity go away from your life.

Now remember your cozy happy place and fill up there positive emotions. Think about the reason for your fear and start looking for new positive ways to solve the problem situation. I'm sure you will succeed! After all, you deserve all the best in your life! And remember, everything that is done in life is all for the better!

I want to emphasize that if you have a painful fear in your life - a phobia. Then I strongly recommend that you contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. Phobias under themselves have a serious painful experience. Often a person is not able to independently deal with this experience, the subconscious mind hides from him real reasons. In such a situation, only a competent specialist can help.

Thus, in the article “How to overcome fear?” we found out how it is generated by our mind and how exactly we can deal with it. I hope my article was helpful to you. Leave your comments and share this information with others. I wish you well-being and happiness!

Everyone experiences a fear or phobia from time to time, and in some cases fear provides security. But sometimes self-doubt gets in the way of everyday life.

To cope with your problems, you need to know ways to overcome fear. It is important to take action in time if self-doubt has turned into an obsession or phobia.

It is normal for a person to be afraid of something. Most likely, many in childhood were afraid to ride a bike. But when fears begin to control life, they negatively affect the character of a person, and this becomes a problem. When fear turns into a phobia, it causes severe stress, which affects the life of a person, while nervousness and anxiety can be felt.

In this case, you need to focus on your fears, try to understand how much they affect life. And you also need to understand for yourself what fears make it impossible to move towards achieving your goal. Signs that a phobia is developing into a serious problem:

Identifying the Symptoms of a Phobia

Very often, types of phobias are identified that include specific situations. For example, this could include the fear of public speaking, in front of animals: spiders or snakes and so on. Many people are afraid of injections and the sight of blood. When a feeling of fear is experienced, various emotional, intellectual and physiological reactions appear, among which are:

If there has been a car accident in the past, then driving a car can become intimidating and terrible thing, which a person tries to avoid with all his might. Maybe there was a robbery on the way home, and now the thought of returning after work automatically causes fear. There are many ways to overcome your fear, laziness and self-doubt. These include avoiding any traumatic events. Fear is an adequate response of the body to a variety of traumatic events and situations, but some of them cannot be avoided. It must be recognized that the phobia is real, it must be fought.

The emergence of fears in childhood

Perhaps a person is very afraid of snakes, but he cannot understand where this fear came from. Many studies suggest that fear appears in childhood. Some children adopt a biological fear from their parents. And other sources say that children are processing information about the world around them, as a result of which certain fears and fears arise.

For example, Small child observes various events that pose a threat to him. Watching how parents interact with some situation or object, the child begins to create associations. Among them, situations appear that are fixed in the brain as potentially dangerous or scary. These feelings are fixed, appear in adulthood regardless of the actual risk.

It must be admitted that a phobia is quite normal, only after this acceptance can the problem of how to overcome a phobia be solved. Fright is an adaptive property human body that prolong its life. As a rule, fear is experienced when a person is on the edge of a cliff. This fear refers to an adaptive response. It prepares a person for defensive actions. Fright can be quite useful, it is important to remember its positive protective role.

How to deal with fear

Negative emotions are easy to ignore or deny to yourself. But courage does not arise on its own when confronted with a phobia. You need to learn to overcome your feelings. This is the first step towards controlling the situation. How to overcome fear:

1. You need to understand your phobia.
2. Sometimes fear arises instantly and completely unexpectedly, but there are situations when it is difficult to deal with your anxious feelings that hide in the depths of the mind.
3. In this case, you need to try to draw out the phobia, to define it.

You don't have to suppress your fears. Need to recognize inner feelings and complexes, without dividing them into good and bad, this will help in the problem of how to overcome your fears.

Awareness of precipitating factors

You need to find out what exactly causes the phobia. The better you understand and realize your fear, the easier it is to deal with it. We need to ask ourselves: how much is fear holding me back and controlling my life? Once the problem is identified, the desired outcome must be presented. If the phobia is conscious, then you need to think about what exactly needs to be changed. It is important to imagine what life would be like without fear, and how a person would feel. Examples of dealing with fear:

1. If there is a phobia in front of spiders, then you need to imagine that they are in front of a person, but he reacted calmly to this.
2. If there is a phobia of heights, then you need to imagine that the person is at a height. At this time, you need to feel a sense of accomplishment.
3. If obligations cause concern, then you need to imagine for yourself happy relationship with a partner.

Many phobias are based on false beliefs or catastrophic thinking. When a person sees a spider, he thinks that he will definitely harm him. We need to learn to distinguish between such patterns of thinking, to question them. You should try to find more information about your fear, and understand that the actual risk is much less than it seems. Admittedly, even the worst-case scenario is unlikely.

You need to start restructuring your thoughts so that catastrophic thinking does not appear. To do this, you need to interact with your thoughts. If fear appears, then you need to pause, think about the actual risk. It is necessary to return to negative thoughts and false beliefs, to say to yourself: “I recognize the fact that dogs are aggressive, but most of them are kind and affectionate animals. They probably will bite me." Once you become aware of your fears and false beliefs, you need to start deliberately confronting your phobia.

Practicing Gradual Engagement

Often fear arises because a person has never encountered his phobia. It's called fear of the unknown (an often used phrase that clearly describes how people feel when faced with something new). For example:

1. If a person is afraid of dogs, then you should start small. Need to find a picture of a dog on the internet. And look at the picture until the fear goes away. Then you need to look at photos of real dogs. Then you can watch the video. Various images of animals are studied until the feeling of awe passes.
2. You can go to the park, where dogs often walk, watch them. This must be done until the fright in front of the animals passes.
3. For example, you can visit a friend who has a dog. You need to watch his communication with your pet until a feeling of calmness comes.
4. Can pet the pet to get rid of the anxiety. The final step: you need to be alone with the animal, spend the whole day with him.

You need to face your fear as often as possible in order to learn how to overcome fear and self-doubt. The power that gives awareness of emotions is important for understanding one's own sensations and feelings. Exposing oneself to a phobia, intentionally verbalizing one's own fears, gives tremendous power. It helps fight fear. At this time there is a control of emotions.

Scientists have conducted studies that examined cases of fear of spiders. Participants who realized their fears and said to themselves: “I am afraid of this spider”, and once interacted with him, on next week showed much less fright at the sight of the insect. Running away from your phobia does not help you get rid of it. The next time you feel fear, you need to delve into it, using words that will help describe your anxiety and fear.

Overcoming fears with relaxation

When a person experiences fear, there is a natural reaction to leave the place where the phobia originated. You need to learn how to counter this feeling by applying relaxation techniques. This will help to understand that the person is safe and is not in danger. Relaxation is great for managing stress and anxiety. Relaxation rules:

1. You can also try breathing exercises . To do this, you need to focus on your breathing, count each inhalation and exhalation. Inhale for four seconds and then exhale for five seconds. Once the person feels comfortable, the exercise should be done for 6 seconds. This will help overcome the phobia.
2. If it is noticed that the muscles are tensing, then it is necessary focus on relaxing them. How to do it: you need to tighten all the muscles of the body for 4 seconds, and then relax them. This action is performed 3 or 4 times until the whole body relaxes.

You need to try to turn fear to your advantage. Some people go in for extreme sports, swim with sharks and watch horror movies. You need to try to look at your phobia from the other side, think about what thrill she can offer. When a person can consider the source of energy and motivation in his anxiety, then fear can play a positive role.

Weakening the power of fear

A phobia can be powerful in different situations relating to life or death. People who have been subjected to such fear speak of a feeling of time slowing down. In those moments, they felt a special surge of energy and intuitively knew what to do in a dangerous situation. Scientists have proven that fear drowns out the feeling of pain.

Understanding positive aspects fear will help you use fear to your advantage. For example, many people have stage fright, but this fear helps to increase productivity, to focus on what is in front of the person at that moment. You need to learn to recognize and acknowledge your phobia, direct it to where it will be most useful.

Thus, you can cope with the problem of how to overcome your fear, laziness and self-doubt. Most people who experience a phobia before an event, but find themselves in that situation, no longer panic. Fear enhances all human feelings, so you can perform certain tasks more efficiently and efficiently.

Seeing Opportunity in Fear

You can use your phobia as a tool to help identify the problem and solve it effectively. When the discomfort initial manifestations phobias will pass, you need to try to understand your fear. This will help to find out the reason for the fear. Thanks to the fear of something, you can learn to control yourself and suppress fear:

1. If there is fear of something unfamiliar, then the situation should be perceived as if a person wants to know the situation better.
2. If there is a flash of fear due to an upcoming event, then you need to determine a plan of action for yourself in order to be fully prepared for the situation.

If you can’t cope with fear on your own, then you can make an appointment with a psychologist. Qualified specialist help to understand the sources of fear, come up with methods to deal with them. If a phobia literally takes over a person's life, then you can try to use your imagination to calm yourself, and not be even more scared.

Attention, only TODAY!

Fear is one of the innate emotions that every person has from time to time. Performs positive function, being an alarm signal and helping to survive in case of a threat. Fear mobilizes our body, preparing it for flight. But in some cases, fear manifests itself in an unhealthy, neurotic form (phobias, panic, generalized anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder) and significantly spoils a person's life.

Fear is classified as a negative emotion. It is very painful to experience states of severe anxiety, so people, as a rule, look for any ways that allow them to quickly.

Chemical addictions

As a result, they commit a lot of erroneous actions that, instead of alleviating the problem, on the contrary, exacerbate it. Such actions include alcohol consumption, uncontrolled intake sedatives, eating emotions with sweets, smoking.

Of course, all these options for getting rid of the feeling of fear are a road to nowhere. They allow you to emotionally disconnect only for a short time. Therefore, a person regularly returns to the tried and tested way to feel relief. As a result, all large doses"anesthetic". This is how they are formed bad habits and dependencies.

Non-chemical dependencies

to more sophisticated and covert ways escape from negative experiences becomes immersion in some kind of activity that fills everything free time person. A person strives to constantly be in the company of other people, plunges headlong into work, computer games. As soon as he is left alone and cut off from his usual business for a while, inexplicable feeling anxiety. The neurotic, without understanding why, turns on the phone, starts flipping through the news feed or calling friends - just to be distracted and not to encounter the contents of the subconscious, ready to emerge out in forced silence.

Another way to cope with psychological stress is compulsions. This is a mindless obsessive repetition of the same actions, often of a ritual nature and supposedly preventing frightening events. For example, counting, knocking on wood, snapping fingers. Compulsive behavior helps to partially turn off consciousness and, in turn, phobias make you change your entire lifestyle so as not to encounter frightening objects and circumstances. But for such tactics, as a result, one has to pay with a significant decrease in the quality of life and degradation of the individual.

How to get rid of fear in a healthy way

Do not blame yourself for bad habits that have developed as a result of trying to get rid of bouts of fear. At a certain stage of development, this was the only way known and available to you how to overcome fear. But if you want to grow as a person and be truly happy man, you need to look for other methods of how to get rid of fear.

People often wonder how to kill fear in themselves, not realizing that any, even the strongest negative emotion is their friend and assistant, signaling some kind of problem. It's just that in the case of so-called irrational fears, the danger does not come from external environment, and from inner world person.

The source of fear in this situation is an erroneous perception of reality, obsessive negative thoughts and beliefs that prevent normal life. Sometimes people are their own worst enemy. By assimilating and maintaining negative mental attitudes in his mind, he inevitably drives himself into a network of stress. The problem is that destructive thoughts that generate anxiety are perceived by a person as an objective reality, and not as errors of perception.

Paradoxically, human thinking is for the most part an unconscious and thoughtless process. develops when a person ceases to control the imagination and the course of his thoughts. If you want to get rid of fears and phobias, you need to learn to think differently than you do now. When it is possible to change dysfunctional and repetitive types of reactions to fear into healthier ones, anxiety disorders disappear.

The role of cognitive distortions in the development of fear

Cognitive distortions (mistakes in thinking inherent in each of us) give rise to many baseless fears. For example, two people hit the same life situation- They need to propose to their girls. Of course, there is a possibility of rejection. But how such a scenario of events is perceived differently depending on the type of human thinking.

An optimist will see rejection as an invitation to work on themselves. Find out the reasons why the girl said no. Will try to change in order to achieve a positive answer, or decide that it is worth finding another person as a life partner. A pessimist perceives a probable rejection as a life catastrophe, a confirmation of his unworthiness. If he is sure that he will not be able to love anyone else, pictures of forced loneliness will loom in his mind. If, in addition to the above, a person is convinced that “loneliness is terrible,” then imagine the level of panic that will seize him at a crucial moment. Will he even dare to propose and, perhaps, find out the “terrible” truth?

How to Get Rid of Anxiety and Fear with Thought Control

so absurd and bad thoughts about different things visit from time to time any person. Every thought, in turn, evokes an emotion. It is important to understand that those thoughts that cause intense fear are based on deep and unconscious erroneous attitudes. They cannot be taken into account when assessing the situation.

For example, a thought-fear: my partner will definitely leave me. Variants of erroneous beliefs, as a result of which fear arose:

• people cannot be trusted;
• to be thrown humiliatingly;
• I am not worthy of love.

Thought-fear: if I go to work, my husband will be angry with me. Variants of erroneous beliefs, as a result of which fear arose:

• I must devote all my time to my husband;
• if someone is angry with me, then it's my fault.

Remember that you yourself empower certain thoughts that scare you as a result. Between a randomly flashed unpleasant thought"I will remain alone" and a strong, but nevertheless unfounded belief in this lies a huge abyss. You yourself take a step towards fear by giving your attention to negative thoughts. The mind is designed to seek confirmation of any thought you focus on. That is why it is so important to look at things from a positive point of view. After all, by cultivating confidence in future success in any scenario in the present, you inevitably rise up the emotional scale - to hope, enthusiasm and anticipation.

How to overcome your fear with positive thinking

Positive thinking is not burying your head in the sand, but the systematization of thoughts. Most are very scrupulous about the quantity and quality of food consumed, understanding the importance healthy diet for your body. But with regard to thoughts, the same selectivity is absent.

Be careful with the media. Stop mindlessly browsing social media and news. Most messages are structured in such a way as to grab people's attention. And the easiest way to do this is by broadcasting frightening information and savoring the details of various catastrophes and natural disasters.

Every minute there are many wonderful events in the world - healthy children are born, people find new friends, fall in love, recover, safely drive to work in their car without any incidents. But that doesn't make good news. And as a result, the world is portrayed through the media as threatening and dangerous.

Refuse to watch news that does not lead to joy, but, on the contrary, increase the level of anxiety. Saturate your brain with only pleasant food for thought. Shift your attention to watching comedies and entertainment shows, reading life-affirming novels, and hanging out with upbeat people.

Only you can determine whether a particular thought is positive or limiting for you personally. If a thought brings you pleasant emotions, then it suits you and should be included in your belief system.

For example, you want to change your profession, but you are afraid of the inevitable changes. Thoughts that may come to your mind:

• doing what you love (negative thought);
• but there are people who somehow succeed (positive thought);
• the chances of succeeding are too small - I will waste time and effort (negative thought);
• it is better to fail than not to try at all (positive thought).
• All lucky people- egoists (negative thought);
• people will envy me (negative thought);
• my friend will definitely support me (positive thought);
• if I succeed, I can help others (positive thought);
• people do not have money to pay for my services (negative thought);
• I want too much from life (negative thought);
• no one will get better if I give up on my dream (positive thought).

How to remove fear through meditation

Meditation - useful skill allowing you to disconnect from negative impact environment, cope with an anxiety attack or obsessive thoughts. Just 15 minutes of practice a day can provide mental relaxation and significantly reduce stress levels.

There is nothing difficult in meditation. You just need to retire, sit back, close your eyes and start concentrating on inhaling and exhaling. At first, you will notice how the mind is bombarded with various thoughts. You can't afford to be carried away. But at the same time, do not try to suppress thoughts. Treat the thoughts that arise as passing clouds. Notice the appearance of another thought impartially and return to the breath.

When you learn to separate yourself from thoughts and the emotions that give rise to them, becoming an outside observer, you will gain control over your emotional state. The position of a dispassionate observer helps to rise above emotions and choose more life-affirming thoughts for reflection. Even when hitting stressful situations(dismissal, divorce, death loved one), the 15-minute helps you find positive thoughts and develop a healthy response to the event.

How to Remove Fear with Visualization

There is one more effective method how to conquer fear. Try to work with your imagination. Every day before going to bed, draw in your mind pictures of how you successfully cope with a situation that scares you.

Let's say you have, and the thought of leaving the house, even to the nearest store, scares you to death. Your task is to go to shopping mall only in your imagination. Imagine how one fine day, when the weather is good outside, you get dressed and leave the entrance. The sun is shining, friendly people are around, and you yourself are in good mood. Enjoying the walk, you reach the end of the block and enter the store. Slowly and with pleasure make purchases, and then successfully return home. Gradually, a positive image will be fixed in the subconscious, and the fear of going out into the street will pass.

How to overcome your fear in an emergency

In a state of panic, a person is in an extremely excited state. emotional state and hardly understands what is happening around. If you have the idea of ​​how to overcome fear and stop the tantrum, then you are able to take control of your condition. Try the following steps:

1. Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold your breath for 1-2 seconds, exhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold your breath for 1-2 seconds, and so on.
2. Soothing Movements: Lean forward, completely relaxing your head, neck, shoulders and arms, hanging them freely down. Breathe slowly and deeply, and then rise slowly. If you feel that you can’t calm the fear and still feel trembling in your body, try moving around: walk, swing your arms. This will help neutralize the release of the stress hormone adrenaline into the blood.
3. Washing with cold water will help to recover and put in order disturbing thoughts.
4. Start taking action. Focus on the needs of others, not your own feelings and anxious thoughts. Nothing mobilizes internal resources like love and a sense of responsibility for one's neighbor.

Preparing for the worst case scenario

Another way to overcome fear is to get used to worst case event development. Sometimes it seems to us that some things are simply unbearable. But on the test, our psyche is much stronger. For example, you have a fear that you will be fired from your job.

Cross the line in your mind that you are afraid to cross. Consider this scenario. What will you do after the event happens? Have to look for a new place, and there is no guarantee that you will find it quickly? Do you have to save hard? Will you become financially dependent on your spouse, will you get into debt? Imagine all the possible options that scare you, and think about what actions you will take if you fail. Having done this exercise in your thoughts, you will find that instead of fear, you feel an energy upsurge and a desire to act.

How to overcome fear by transferring experiences to the future:

How to remove fear from the subconscious

To overcome fear, you need to work with its root cause. Many of our fears seem unfounded and irrational. This happens when the psyche defends itself in order to minimize the power of negative experiences. Often, in order to justify the emotion, the unconscious comes up with a false explanation for the existing fear.

For example, a man is afraid of dogs. At a meeting with a hypnologist, it turns out that a deeply repressed sense of one's own inferiority caused the development of a phobia. The feeling of being a victim, the lack of healthy aggression and the inability to defend one's interests in relationships were transformed into a fear of animals. The logic of the unconscious is as follows: it is better to be afraid of dogs than to admit your failure.

Identify the object of fear and try to understand what it can be symbolically associated with. It is important not to deny emotions, not to drive them far into a corner, but simply to deal with the source of their occurrence. For example, acrophobes are afraid not so much of heights as of uncertainty, claustrophobes - not so much of closed spaces as of restrictions in actions. Of course, such introspection is quite challenging task. If none of the above methods of how to get rid of phobias and fears on your own helped you, it is better to turn to

How to overcome fear? Is fear keeping you alive? Does something scare you? What are you afraid of? Often we are afraid of the dangers that can await us every day at every turn. We are afraid to appear ridiculous when speaking in public, to meet an unpleasant insect, to get sick or to harm our health. In fact, these fears can be overcome. It doesn’t matter what exactly you are afraid of and why you are worried: in this article you will find 20 universal tips on how to cope with fears, as well as find out what causes them and what prevents us from overcoming them.

Overcome fear: 20 tips that really work

What is fear?

It is necessary to distinguish between fear and fear appears when quite specific situation, for example, when a stranger follows you down an empty street, who you think is following you. Anxiety, on the contrary, is a rather general, non-specific emotion that occurs in less certain situations. For example, the anxiety we feel when thinking about our future career or when someone criticizes us.

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Fear is an adaptive response to physical or psychological threats. However, it does not always occur in the face of real danger. Sometimes it can be caused by cognitive distortions. The level of intensity of fear can vary from its virtually complete absence to absolute panic. In fact, this emotion can become a real nightmare.

When does fear become a phobia?

If the fear of something becomes too great, excessive, it turns into a phobia. A phobia is a psychological disorder, while fear is a normal healthy emotion.

Eat Various types phobias: fear of heights, fear of clowns or coulrophobia, fear of death, etc. Regardless of the reasons that cause such a reaction, all these phobias significantly reduce the quality of life of the people suffering from them, negatively affecting all areas of daily activity. Can you imagine that there are people who are so afraid to go out that they are forced to spend all their time at home, locked up?

However, it is not necessary for fear to reach the size of a phobia in order to poison a person's life. Anyway, these psychological disorders can prevent us from performing even the most familiar daily tasks. In this article, you will find recommendations on how to get rid of fear, regardless of its degree and the reason that provokes this feeling.

Why are we afraid?

Fear is a completely habitual reaction that accompanies us throughout our lives. It makes you act quickly and defend yourself against any danger. It helps to increase our physiological activity, encouraging us to fight or run away. Fear is essential for survival.

There are two main theories about how fear is born. The first, classical one, states that if we associate certain elements (snakes, height, etc.) with situations that are harmful and dangerous for us (injuries, anxiety, etc.), we associate these stimuli with each other and thus acquire conditioned reflex fear.

1. Don't try to deny your fears.

As we pointed out earlier, fear is a gift that helps us survive. We can also observe it in animals in dangerous situations. Fortunately, our body warns us of an approaching threat. Can you imagine what will happen if you don't hide when you see a tiger in the room? Learning to coexist with this emotion is vital. Whatever unpleasant moments we have not had to endure, we should be grateful to fear.

2. Get to know yourself better

Introspection helps to increase our comfort level. It allows us to understand how we feel or what we want to be, how to act. There is no need to explore deeply what are the roots of our fear, for example, of snakes. However, understanding what stimuli cause us to feel bad emotions can help us develop effective and precise strategies to counter them.

3. Admit your fear

You are human. Living and acting as if fear does not exist is counterproductive. Fear does not make you weaker or less respected. It does not matter if the object of your fear is unusual or embarrassing, it is still understandable, and there are people who can support you. Your fear will not disappear just because you ignore it. Recognizing fear is the first step towards overcoming it.

4. Rationalize your fears

The fear of fire is absolutely understandable if we see a fire. However, if every time we light an electric stove, we think about a fire, then we reason illogically. Try to deal with yours.

You need to think about the likelihood with which any events can occur, and act accordingly. This will help get rid of unpleasant cognitive processes.

5. Watch other people deal with fear

There are quite common types of fears - for example, the fear of being fired or the fear of blood. It doesn't matter if the cause of your fear is atypical: remember that this emotion causes similar feelings in everyone. The only difference is the degree of intensity that you can control. It is very helpful to recognize that this emotion is natural and observe how other people deal with it.

6. Boost your

Some types of fears, such as the fear of communication, are very upsetting to the people who experience them. This can negatively affect self-esteem. "I'm a loser, dumbass." "No one wants a weakling like me." Such thoughts are harmful and can provoke cognitive distortions that can significantly poison our lives.

In some cases, these beliefs can lead to deep inner discomfort and, as a result, severe psychological problems. Fear should not affect your self-esteem. Remember that we are all human and that any person can experience fears, however, we are always able to find a reasonable solution in any situation.

7. Take care of yourself

8. Don't avoid the object of your fear

10. Challenge yourself a little.

Conquering fear takes time and constant effort on your part. Try to visualize what you fear first. For example, if you are afraid to play sports, imagine yourself playing with a ball. Visualizing yourself successfully doing things that scare you will help you feel more confident.

It may be difficult at first, but it will get easier and easier each time. These exercises form the basis exposure therapy. You are gradually shown fear-provoking stimuli until you learn to manage your emotions. For example, a person who is afraid of snakes might start by looking at a picture of a small snake, and so on until he feels comfortable being around a real cobra.

11. Don't face your biggest fear directly.

It's great that you've decided to overcome your fear, but don't do it too abruptly. The exposure method involves a gradual approach to a given goal under the guidance of a specialist. Independent attempts to abruptly overcome your fear, for example, grabbing a tarantula with your hand, or, going on stage, singing in front of an audience of thousands, can be completely counterproductive and aggravate the situation.

Think about how you can reward yourself for overcoming your fear. Say, if you are afraid to drive a car, imagine how great it would be to go on an exciting journey on own car V interesting place, which you have long dreamed of, without depending on other people. It's hard to concentrate on this positive thought the moment you get behind the wheel. However, if we think not about accidents, but about a pleasant vacation, we will be distracted from negative thoughts. By the way, you can test your driving ability with the CogniFit neuropsychological test for drivers.

Find out now if your cognitive abilities are up to the mark to drive a car with an innovative neuropsychological CogniFit test for drivers. Get the results report in PDF format and train your weakest abilities!

13. Reward yourself for success

If you're afraid to ride an elevator and the thought of getting stuck in one shocks you, think of a reward for the day you dare to ride the elevator. For example, a package of your favorite sweets or going to the movies. It is important that you yourself recognize your success and want to move on.

14. Mark your progress

Keeping a diary of observations is very useful, especially in situations where you suddenly start to become depressed because of the fear itself or for another reason. However, if you look into your diary, read about your successes, this will help you feel a sense of pride and continue to move forward, become even more effective. The path to success is not always smooth, ups and downs are possible. However, perseverance and determination will help achieve excellent results. In addition, the very fact of keeping records will help you blow off steam and reduce anxiety.

15. Get the support of loved ones

Even if your friends or loved ones don't share your fear, they know the feeling. You will feel better if you share with them your feelings about being afraid to drive in the fog or to communicate with your boss. It is likely that your interlocutors have gone through a similar experience and can give you valuable advice. However, even just their support and participation can help you cope with any challenge.

16. Talk to people who share your fear.

Find people who are going through the same thing as you, it will help you a lot. If you feel like your fear is unusual, or if you feel shy, feel misunderstood, or find it difficult to discuss it with someone, try talking to someone in the same situation (in person or even online). This will help you open up, share experiences, learn something useful for yourself that did not occur to you yourself.

17. Don't be afraid of criticism

Oftentimes, no matter what fear we seek to overcome—cycling, falling, or the fear of speaking English—our steps to overcome those fears can be criticized when we make mistakes or fail.

We all stumble sometimes. Most likely, others do not think about us as often as we think. And when someone criticizes us, we should not pay attention to negative comments - we lose much more by giving up our attempts.

18. Take advantage of new technologies

Scientific and technological advances offer us tremendous opportunities to conquer fear. There are already therapies based on virtual reality that allow people to face their fears while being completely safe. In addition, there are more simple ways- for example, various mobile applications designed for a similar purpose.

In particular, special programs created for people suffering from aerophobia (fear of flying). These apps provide flight safety data and offer various exercises that reduce anxiety. Programs have also been developed for children to get rid of various games and others, for example, helping to overcome the fear of speaking in front of an audience.

Do you want to know how your brain works? What are your strong and possibly weak cognitive functions? Are there any symptoms that indicate the presence of any disorder? What abilities can be improved? Get answers to all these questions in less than 30-40 minutes by going through.

You should not be ashamed to ask for help in such a situation. Many people turn to specialists and achieve significant improvements. Fear therapy is really effective.

Thank you very much for your interest in this material. Do you feel the strength to conquer your fears? We will be grateful for questions and comments on the article.

Translated from Spanish by Anna Inozemtseva

There are probably no people in the world who would not have their own fears: even the strongest personalities are afraid of something, but the secret of their success is that they know how to overcome those fears. negative emotions that causes a feeling of fear inside.

If you understand that any fear (fear of the dark or dogs, fear of losing a loved one, etc.) prevents you from living in peace, constantly reminding yourself and preventing you from focusing on important matters, hinders the development of your career or personal relationships, then you need to learn how to deal with it.

As a result, instead of honestly confessing to teachers and finding help, she simply wasted precious time, until she fainted on the stairs of the university (she was afraid of heights). It happened on the day when she went up to the auditorium to show the "written" diploma to the supervisor.

As soon as, as a result of working with a psychologist, she was able to tell the teachers that she had not yet started and ask for help, they together made a new plan, and the fear of heights disappeared “by itself”. She was afraid to go up to the audience that day, but back, I quote, “I just flew up the stairs.”

The struggle can take a lot of effort and precious time. It is much more effective to consult with fear and understand what signal it gives us. Imaginary fears carry a signal that we have suppressed some real fear. And our task is to find out which one.

The second reason, according to which the fight against irrational fears does not work - this is secondary benefit. Remember when the student passed out on the stairs “from fear of heights”? It was at that moment when she needed the courage to admit to the work not done. Fear of heights very successfully saved her from such recognition. That is, the fear of heights was to some extent beneficial to her.

It is impossible to fight with a secondary benefit, since to win means to lose this benefit. Once she stops fainting on the stairs, she has to go confess. The unconscious logic of the secondary benefit is something like this: “I'd rather be afraid of heights than teachers. It’s not so scary to be afraid of heights, but I can just not climb onto stools and not go to the window. And what to do with an unwritten diploma, I don’t know, it’s too scary. I’d rather not think about it, but I’ll be afraid of heights.”

Fighting fear leads to its suppression. But that doesn't mean he passed. He just hid in the unconscious and manifests itself in a different way. There are several options for this manifestation:

1. Increased anxiety, imaginary fears, phobias, panic attacks.
2. Failure to adequately and timely respond to a real danger.
3. Psychosomatic illnesses associated with the suppression of fear.

Summing up

1. Fear is our ally, it helps us survive and signals danger. Problems arise precisely from the fact that we do not know how to use it (to consult with it), but instead we suppress it and strive to figure out how to get rid of fear and anxiety.
2. It is important to distinguish between real fears, warning of real danger, and imaginary ones, when there is no danger.
3. It is with real fears that the option proposed in the article works perfectly: “take a pen and write down what I am afraid of and what I should do.” Because this is what fear requires of us - to consult with him. However, it is important to understand that this is not a struggle, but cooperation with fear! As soon as we accept fear as an ally and adviser, problems with it disappear. This does not mean that we stop being afraid, it means that we know what to do with this fear now.
4. With irrational (imaginary) fears, one more stage is added. First you need to understand what kind of suppressed real fear is hidden behind the imaginary one. This can be difficult to do on your own and may require special knowledge available to a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Psychotherapist, psychologist-consultant Alexander Musikhin