How to overcome fear in yourself. How to overcome fears and anxiety? Psychologists' advice

Everyone experiences a fear or phobia from time to time, and in some cases fear provides security. But sometimes self-doubt gets in the way of everyday life.

To cope with your problems, you need to know ways to overcome fear. It is important to take action in time if self-doubt has turned into an obsession or phobia.

It is normal for a person to be afraid of something. Most likely, many in childhood were afraid to ride a bike. But when fears begin to control life, they negatively affect the character of a person, and this becomes a problem. When fear turns into a phobia, it causes severe stress, which affects the life of a person, while nervousness and anxiety can be felt.

In this case, you need to focus on your fears, try to understand how much they affect life. And you also need to understand for yourself what fears make it impossible to move towards achieving your goal. Signs that a phobia is developing into a serious problem:

Identifying the Symptoms of a Phobia

Very often, types of phobias are identified, which include specific situations. For example, this could include the fear of public speaking, in front of animals: spiders or snakes and so on. Many people are afraid of injections and the sight of blood. When a feeling of fear is experienced, various emotional, intellectual and physiological reactions appear, among which are:

If there has been a car accident in the past, then driving a car can become intimidating and terrible thing, which a person tries to avoid with all his might. Maybe there was a robbery on the way home, and now the thought of returning after work automatically causes fear. There are many ways to overcome your fear, laziness and self-doubt. These include avoiding any traumatic events. Fear is an adequate response of the body to a variety of traumatic events and situations, but some of them cannot be avoided. It must be recognized that the phobia is real, it must be fought.

The emergence of fears in childhood

Perhaps a person is very afraid of snakes, but he cannot understand where this fear came from. Many studies suggest that fear appears in childhood. Some children adopt a biological fear from their parents. And other sources say that children are processing information about the world around them, as a result of which certain fears and fears arise.

For example, Small child observes various events that pose a threat to him. Watching how parents interact with some situation or object, the child begins to create associations. Among them, situations appear that are fixed in the brain as potentially dangerous or scary. These feelings are fixed, appear in adulthood regardless of the actual risk.

It must be admitted that a phobia is quite normal, only after this acceptance can the problem of how to overcome a phobia be solved. Fright is an adaptive property human body that prolong its life. As a rule, fear is experienced when a person is on the edge of a cliff. This fear refers to an adaptive response. It prepares a person for defensive actions. Fright can be quite useful, it is important to remember its positive protective role.

How to deal with fear

Negative emotions are easy to ignore or deny to yourself. But courage does not arise on its own when confronted with a phobia. You need to learn to overcome your feelings. This is the first step towards controlling the situation. How to overcome fear:

1. You need to understand your phobia.
2. Sometimes fear arises instantly and completely unexpectedly, but there are situations when it is difficult to deal with your anxious feelings that hide in the depths of the mind.
3. In this case, you need to try to draw out the phobia, to define it.

You don't have to suppress your fears. Need to recognize inner feelings and complexes, without dividing them into good and bad, this will help in the problem of how to overcome your fears.

Awareness of precipitating factors

You need to find out what exactly causes the phobia. The better you understand and realize your fear, the easier it is to deal with it. We need to ask ourselves: how much is fear holding me back and controlling my life? Once the problem is identified, the desired outcome must be presented. If the phobia is conscious, then you need to think about what exactly needs to be changed. It is important to imagine what life would be like without fear, and how a person would feel. Examples of dealing with fear:

1. If there is a phobia in front of spiders, then you need to imagine that they are in front of a person, but he reacted calmly to this.
2. If there is a phobia of heights, then you need to imagine that the person is at a height. At this time, you need to feel a sense of accomplishment.
3. If obligations cause concern, then you need to imagine for yourself happy relationship with a partner.

Many phobias are based on false beliefs or catastrophic thinking. When a person sees a spider, he thinks that he will definitely harm him. We need to learn to distinguish between such patterns of thinking, to question them. You should try to find more information about your fear, and understand that the actual risk is much less than it seems. Admittedly, even the worst-case scenario is unlikely.

You need to start restructuring your thoughts so that catastrophic thinking does not appear. To do this, you need to interact with your thoughts. If fear appears, then you need to pause, think about the actual risk. Need to return to negative thoughts and false beliefs, say to yourself: “I recognize the fact that dogs are aggressive, but most of them are kind and affectionate animals. They probably will bite me." Once you become aware of your fears and false beliefs, you need to start deliberately confronting your phobia.

Practicing Gradual Engagement

Often fear arises because a person has never encountered his phobia. It's called fear of the unknown (an often used phrase that clearly describes how people feel when faced with something new). For example:

1. If a person is afraid of dogs, then you should start small. Need to find a picture of a dog on the internet. And look at the picture until the fear goes away. Then you need to look at photos of real dogs. Then you can watch the video. Various images of animals are studied until the feeling of awe passes.
2. You can go to the park, where dogs often walk, watch them. This must be done until the fright in front of the animals passes.
3. For example, you can visit a friend who has a dog. You need to watch his communication with your pet until a feeling of calmness comes.
4. Can pet the pet to get rid of the anxiety. The final step: you need to be alone with the animal, spend the whole day with him.

You need to face your fear as often as possible in order to learn how to overcome fear and self-doubt. The power that gives awareness of emotions is important for understanding one's own sensations and feelings. Exposing oneself to a phobia, intentionally verbalizing one's own fears, gives tremendous power. It helps fight fear. At this time there is a control of emotions.

Scientists have conducted studies that examined cases of fear of spiders. Participants who realized their fears and said to themselves: “I am afraid of this spider”, and once interacted with him, on next week showed much less fright at the sight of the insect. Running away from your phobia does not help you get rid of it. The next time you feel fear, you need to delve into it, using words that will help describe your anxiety and fear.

Overcoming fears with relaxation

When a person experiences fear, there is a natural reaction to leave the place where the phobia originated. You need to learn how to counter this feeling by applying relaxation techniques. This will help to understand that the person is safe and is not in danger. Relaxation is great for managing stress and anxiety. Relaxation rules:

1. You can also try breathing exercises . To do this, you need to focus on your breathing, count each inhalation and exhalation. Inhale for four seconds and then exhale for five seconds. Once the person feels comfortable, the exercise should be done for 6 seconds. This will help overcome the phobia.
2. If it is noticed that the muscles are tensing, then it is necessary focus on relaxing them. How to do it: you need to tighten all the muscles of the body for 4 seconds, and then relax them. This action is performed 3 or 4 times until the whole body relaxes.

You need to try to turn fear to your advantage. Some people go in for extreme sports, swim with sharks and watch horror movies. You need to try to look at your phobia from the other side, think about what thrill she can offer. When a person can consider the source of energy and motivation in his anxiety, then fear can play a positive role.

Weakening the power of fear

A phobia can be powerful in different situations relating to life or death. People who have been subjected to such fear speak of a feeling of time slowing down. In those moments, they felt a special surge of energy and intuitively knew what to do in a dangerous situation. Scientists have proven that fear drowns out the feeling of pain.

Understanding positive aspects fear will help you use fear to your advantage. For example, many people have stage fright, but this fear helps to increase productivity, to focus on what is in front of the person at that moment. You need to learn to recognize and acknowledge your phobia, direct it to where it will be most useful.

Thus, you can cope with the problem of how to overcome your fear, laziness and self-doubt. Most people who experience a phobia before an event, but find themselves in that situation, no longer panic. Fear enhances all human feelings, so you can perform certain tasks more efficiently and efficiently.

Seeing Opportunity in Fear

You can use your phobia as a tool to help identify the problem and solve it effectively. When the discomfort initial manifestations phobias will pass, you need to try to understand your fear. This will help to find out the reason for the fear. Thanks to the fear of something, you can learn to control yourself and suppress fear:

1. If there is fear of something unfamiliar, then the situation should be perceived as if a person wants to know the situation better.
2. If there is a flash of fear due to an upcoming event, then you need to determine a plan of action for yourself in order to be fully prepared for the situation.

If you can’t cope with fear on your own, then you can make an appointment with a psychologist. Qualified specialist help to understand the sources of fear, come up with methods to deal with them. If a phobia literally takes over a person's life, then you can try to use your imagination to calm yourself, and not be even more scared.

Attention, only TODAY!

Ordinary fear and phobia - is there a difference between them? Yes, and very big. Fear is a state, an emotion, in which a person experiences severe anxiety from a real or imagined threat. At these moments, adrenaline enters the blood - the hormone of fear, which mobilizes hidden reserves organism and avoid danger.

Fear is even useful in cases where it protects against reckless actions, thereby saving life. It will be wrong to ask yourself the question of how to overcome fear in a situation where there is not an invented, but a very real threat. But in cases where fear arises without any significant reasons, when it is cyclical and cannot be controlled, then we are talking about the phobia.

Phobias, which depict dangers in the imagination of a person, which most often do not exist, have an extremely negative impact on his life, restrict freedom, subjugating a part of a person’s life.

Having managed to turn into a phobia, it is almost impossible to overcome the fear on your own, this is a mental disorder, and one cannot do without the help of a specialist. Early diagnosis phobias largely determine the effectiveness of therapy and how soon they will stop interfering with your life full life. Don't delay your visit to the doctor!

It should be noted that when different kind fears that are episodic in nature and have not “enslaved” the will of a person, it is possible to try to cope with them on their own. Knowing how to overcome fear, it is quite possible to overcome it.

Get it together and do it. No matter how difficult life situations act, ignoring the approaching fear. Any action that you have not had to perform before, or something new, can give rise to uncertainty and fear. How you feel fear, weak or strong, this is influenced by the strength of the belief, which must be changed by action. Just by doing something, you drive away fear, and procrastination increases it. Accept that you are afraid, accept the fear, but do as you intended. Remember, long reflections will not be able to give an answer on how to overcome fear; you just have to act! Believe in luck.

What could be worse when it couldn't be worse. When you need to do something, but are afraid, imagine the most negative turn of events possible. Believe me, this is much better than the unknown, which is called "the most destructive weapon of fear." Only by understanding and finding the source of fear, you can see that it is not terrible. But, fear is also a defensive reaction. Therefore, if, having calculated all the consequences of the most undesirable option, according to which events will develop, fear remains, then it is worth thinking about the need for these actions. Assess your own fear - if it is not groundless, then hear it by making the right decision.

The decision is made - carry it out. Seriously tune in to the implementation of some business, giving yourself the installation not to deviate from what was planned - there will be no fear, it will go away. Fear feeds on our doubts and insecurities. He “whispers” to the mind that everything will be bad, negative. When considering actions and making a decision, always hope for a good ending. Do not allow negative thoughts, drive them away. Remember? The eyes are frightening, but the hands continue to act. Make the decision without hesitation, telling yourself that there is no going back. Be decisive, and the task of how to overcome fear will cease to be unanswered.

Analysis of fear. Do not ask how to overcome fear, but analyze it. Fear is understood as emotions that are stronger than logic. Even if you understand the meaninglessness of fear, you can continue to be afraid. “Scroll through” the whole course of events in your mind, overcome this feeling in your imagination, such a technique will help you cope with it in reality - the model of events has become fixed at the subconscious level. A technique based on self-hypnosis - visualization, is very effective.

We train courage. Identify your own "master" fear. Then break it down into smaller fears that you can begin to overcome. Does not work? Again, break the fear that is into small ones. Then, step by step, overcome them. Heroes know how to conquer fear. Be brave and you can become that hero.

Raise own self-esteem- a good answer to the question of how to overcome fear. Think only well of yourself, even if your own assessment of yourself will be overestimated. It has been observed that people with high self-esteem, although somewhat biased, achieve more than those who adequately evaluate themselves.

Faith in a higher power and a guardian angel. Fear goes away if you have faith that someone very strong is taking care of you and protecting you.

Feeling of love. There is no fear that love cannot conquer.

Smile always. Only positive emotions can overcome fear, and negative ones make it stronger.

Knowing how to overcome fear, you will have the strength to cope with it. But, remember that a phobia requires the mandatory help of a psychotherapist. She's mean, you shouldn't joke with her.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

One of the most effective methods Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one of the most popular treatments for phobias in Russia. Cognitive techniques help to recognize and analyze the mechanisms of the occurrence of phobias, and subsequently change/correct a person's negative perception of events or situations.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy- This teamwork patient and during which a person acquires the skills of independent control of his thinking, emotions, behavior, physiology. Tracking your emotional condition and by trying to change negative thinking, a person has the ability to resist bouts of uncontrollable fear and overcome the fatality of panic that accompanies this fear.

Making an appointment with a specialist is your first bold step in the fight against a phobia.

Fear is considered the only reaction that is caused by a person's environment. Each of us is born practically devoid of this feeling. The only fear that infants may experience is the fear of falling from a height and loud sounds. All other reactions in them awaken later, as a result of certain events. The reason for all the fears that arise with age lies in the person's confidence in the inability to cope with life's ups and downs. And this feeling does not make it possible to reach heights, even insignificant ones. At the same time, we are not talking about significant successes or the realization of dreams at all. Any person should be able and know how to overcome fear. There are many ways to do this. Below are methods for overcoming any fears. They are very effective and produce amazing results.

Do you want to overcome fear? Just do it!

It is necessary, despite the fear, to develop the habit of acting in any situation. You need to understand that this feeling is a common reaction that occurs to attempts to carry out actions that are unusual for you. Also, fear can arise as a result of steps that are aimed at overcoming one's own beliefs. Each person receives a certain experience and worldview for a long time. At the moment when he tries to change him, he is faced with the question of how to overcome fear. Depending on the level of persuasion, the fear of the situation can be both weak and strong.

If you, for example, do not know how to overcome the fear of driving a car, you need to instill confidence in yourself that you will certainly be able to drive onto a busy highway. As long as a person hesitates, the fear becomes stronger. The longer the hitch before the action, the more brain filled with fear. At the first attempt to accomplish the plan, the fear disappears.

How to conquer fears? Evaluation of the worst option

If the question arises of how to overcome fear, you can try to overcome it in a logical way. When a feeling of fear arises, you need to imagine the worst possible outcome of the development of events that you cannot decide on. Usually after that the fear disappears. Why is this happening? Even the worst option is not as scary as the unknown and the very feeling of fear. As soon as a phobia acquires a concrete picture of what is happening, it ceases to be a threat. After all, the strongest weapon of fear is the unknown. In the mind of a person, they are so great that it often seems as if it will be impossible to survive the result of what happened.

When and after evaluation worst case still scary, it means that the worst ending of the situation is actually terrible. Then you should think about whether it is really worth doing. After all, fear is a defensive response. Perhaps you just need to abandon the implementation of the plan.

Want to conquer your fear? Make a decision!

It is the adoption of a decision that will force you to gather strength and, as a result, fulfill what is catching up with fear. If you set yourself up for real action, the fear will disappear. The presence of fears is possible only in the presence of uncertainty and emptiness. They are inseparable companions of doubt. There is no need to make a decision without making a decision.

However, when thinking about how to overcome fear, the question also arises: "Why is it so strong?" The horror of upcoming events draws in the mind of a person an unflattering picture of undesirable actions and situations in which he is uncomfortable. When fear arises, options for failure and failure scroll through the mind. Such thoughts instantly affect the emotional state. Negative influence. At not enough positivity loses determination to act. At this time, confidence in one's own worthlessness is strengthened. It is determination that affects the ability to overcome fear.

How to conquer fear: step by step

So, if you know what exactly you are afraid of, then this is half the battle. Therefore, there is an opportunity to prepare to overcome the phobia. You need to go through two stages: analysis and representation of fear.

Analysis

At this stage, you need to carefully analyze your fear of the upcoming action. The questions to be answered are the following:

1. What am I afraid of?

2. Does my fear have a rational basis?

3. Should I be afraid in this case?

4. Why did my fear arise?

5. Fear of what is more - the performance of the action itself or the unattainability of the goal in the end?

You can ask yourself a variety of other questions that you deem necessary. It is required to study fear in more detail. Fear is an emotion, and its analysis is a logical action. After completing the first stage, you can understand that in fact, fear does not make sense. But at the same time, the fear of action can continue. Emotions always win over logic. Often this happens when you need to decide how to overcome the fear of driving. Then we move on to the second stage.

Performance

How to overcome fear and insecurity with the help of emotions, not logic? The representation of one's own fear is its visualization. If you know exactly what you are afraid of, calmly scroll through the pictures of this action in your mind. The human mind does not distinguish between imagined and real events. After the phobia has been repeatedly overcome in your imagination, it will be much easier to do the same in reality. This is due to the fact that in the subconscious the model for performing the act is already fixed. Self-hypnosis is enough effective method fight fears. It can be applied in any situation unambiguously successfully.

How to get rid of fear? Train your courage!

Imagine that you can train courage in the same way as pumping up muscles in gym. First, a projectile with a small weight rises - if possible. Over time, when it becomes easy, the mass of inventory increases. With each new load, attempts are made to lift the projectile with greater force. You need to do the same with fears - first train your mind against a small one, then fight with a fear of a greater degree. Let's take a look at specific options.

Example one

How to overcome the fear of people if you are afraid to speak in front of a large audience? To begin with, it is worth inviting friends to a meeting and demonstrating your skills in front of them. Let's say ten people. Speaking in front of a small audience is not as scary as speaking in front of a few dozen or hundreds of spectators. Then gather about 30 people and complete the task in front of them. In the event that this stage is problematic for you, and fear still arises (you forget what to say, you get lost), then you need to train with just such a number of spectators until the situation becomes familiar and calm. Then you can perform in front of an audience of 50, 100 or more people.

Example two

If you are shy and do not know how to overcome your fear of people, then you should make it a habit to talk to them more often. You can start by simply smiling at passers-by on the street. You will be pleasantly surprised, but people will start doing the same in return. Of course, there will be such a person who decides that you are laughing at him. But it's not a problem.

Next, you need to start greeting passers-by. They will answer, thinking that you know each other, and remember where they met before. The next step is to try to start a casual conversation with people. For example, while standing in line, you can say some phrase of a neutral theme. This will provoke someone to answer you. There are many reasons to start a conversation - weather, sports, politics, etc. Thus, having defeated small fears, you can cope with big ones.

Step by step plan to get rid of fear

Identify your biggest anxiety (for example, you don't know how to overcome your fear of the dentist). Then follow all of the following steps:

1. Divide your fear into several smaller ones. There must be at least 5 of them.

2. Start by training to overcome the smallest fear of them.

3. If there is fear even in front of him, then you need to break it into several more.

4. Overcome each petty fear one by one.

5. You need to train on an ongoing basis.

This method will allow you to learn how to deal with fears. If there are breaks between such workouts for a long time, then soon you will have to start all over again. The process is similar to if you interrupt your workouts in the gym for a long time - the muscles wean from a heavy load, and you have to take on light exercises. As soon as training stops, the fear that lives in your mind will take over you. Emotions will win over logic.

Other Techniques for Coping with Stressful Situations

It is worth noting that any positive emotions help to overcome fears, while negative ones, on the contrary, interfere.

Boost your own self-esteem

There is a pattern - the better your opinion of yourself is, the less fear you have of anything. In this case, self-esteem protects against excessive fear and stress. It doesn't matter if it's false or true. That is why an inflated positive opinion of oneself often gives a person the ability to perform a bolder act than the real one.

Believe

If you don’t know, for example, how to overcome the fear of an airplane, then faith in God, an angel, or something else will help get rid of this feeling. Supreme Being. When you have confidence that one of these images can take care of you in a critical situation, your negative emotions are not as strong. It seems as if the light from any higher power dispels the darkness of fear.

love

Men are able to cope with any fears for the sake of the women they love. The same can be said about mothers. They will overcome any obstacle to raise healthy children. Therefore, remembering a loved one, you can overcome any fear in order to be near him.

How to overcome fear of heights: an effective physical method

In order to really overcome the fear of heights, you will need a consultation with a psychologist, a pen, a notebook and a balcony located in a multi-storey building.

First you need to understand yourself - how strong is your fear of heights. In the case when fear appears from the view from the balcony of the 20th floor, we can talk about the necessary sense of self-preservation. Without this defensive reaction, a person would not have survived. But in the event of fear arising when overcoming several steps of a stepladder, we can already talk about a phobia. The first option requires learning to control and curb your own emotions. The second case involves visiting a psychologist and solving the problem with him.

Let's take action

You do not know how to overcome the fear of heights, and the help of a specialist did not help you or you do not want to contact him? Then you should learn to stand calmly for a start, for example, on the balcony of the 5th floor, if this is too difficult, then you should start from the second or third, gradually increasing the height. It is recommended to start a diary and record in it all your feelings, thoughts and - most importantly - achievements. When you read it periodically, it will give additional confidence and strength. When fear is finally defeated by you, burn the diary. Thus, you can put an end to the fight against fear of heights.

How to overcome the fear of a fight?

Fear of a fight is most often due to the usual lack of experience and skills, physical inability to fight. In this case, you need to urgently go to learn self-defense courses. At the same time, their focus is not important, the main thing is that the mentor be a professional in their field. A knowledgeable, authoritative, experienced coach will teach you how to strike correctly, set up defensive blocks and instill confidence in you.

Self improvement

Fans of idly waving their fists on a subconscious level feel a potential “victim” - a frightened, notorious, fearful person. To become a strong personality, you can turn to the method of psychological relaxation, concentration, self-hypnosis. Thanks to this technique, you will learn not only to react almost instantly to provocations, but also begin to do it clearly and confidently.

There is another, perfect method - the cessation of mental, emotional thinking, imagining a possible fight. If you learn to treat her coolly, then your condition will change. The sharpness of perception, the reaction will increase, and the body will have the opportunity to mobilize forces in full to win victory.

Psychologist or training?

The most successful effect in overcoming the fear of a fight will be if you turn to a psychologist with a problem. If this option is unacceptable for you, then an excellent result can be achieved by attending a training aimed at personal growth. It should not necessarily be dedicated to the topic: "How to overcome the fear of a fight." Any quality training that helps develop self-confidence can definitely help to cope with this problem.

Dealing with the fear of driving

If you do not know how to overcome the fear of driving a car, and even at the same time you have little driving experience vehicle, you should choose not very popular and quiet routes that have the lowest possible traffic flow. In this case, your path to your destination will become longer, but at the same time, you can kill two birds with one stone. Firstly, it will be possible to gain experience in real driving, and not idle in traffic jams on the main streets of the city, especially during rush hour. Secondly, you will learn how to quickly and correctly assess the situation on the road when driving without nervousness. After a month or two of such practice, your fear of both the car and maneuvers will disappear and difficult situations on a way.

Away with nervousness!

How to overcome fear of driving? The main rule is not to be nervous under any circumstances! Even if you set off on your car unsuccessfully, stalled at a traffic light or blocked a couple of lanes. This happens to every driver. And if they shout, honk and swear at you, try to minimize your nervousness. Think about the fact that no one was hurt in this situation, and it would be much worse if, in fright, you suddenly pressed the gas pedal and collided with another car.

Fighting Fear of Flying

You have to travel by air, but you do not know how to overcome the fear of flying on an airplane? Try to do something while you wait for your flight. Switch your attention to things that have nothing to do with the future flight. Do not go into the air with a feeling of hunger, but also do not pre-eat a lot of sweet or fatty foods. You should also not get carried away with drinks containing caffeine, which can increase anxiety. To avoid unnecessary excitement, arrive at the check-in of passengers on time.

Overcoming the fear of flying in the air

How to overcome the fear of flying at altitude? While already in the air, do not look at the passengers, determining their condition. Of course, it will be possible to easily find more than one person who is afraid of flying just like you. This will increase the feeling of panic. To reduce the fear of flying to a minimum, you should keep your legs with your feet on the floor, women wearing shoes with high heels, better take off your shoes. So support will be felt and fear will decrease. Also, do not listen to the sound of the aircraft engine and mentally imagine the plots of disasters. On the contrary, you need to remember something pleasant, chat with the person in the next chair, or be distracted by solving a crossword puzzle.

The main principle of dealing with fears is never to fight them.

The article lists many options for dealing with fears. But in fact, they never need to be fought. When you try to overcome fear, it only intensifies and completely takes over your mind. It is enough when there is a fear of something just to admit it. For example, how to overcome the fear of death? Recognize that it is inevitable. And reconcile. This does not mean that you will become weak. Not the absence of fear is considered courage, but the ability to act. Despite everything. Fear can be destroyed only by ignoring it. This way you can direct your attention and energy to the ability to act.

18 989 2 Who among us can honestly confess our fears? Any person has them, even those who claim that they are not afraid of absolutely nothing. Our fear of something can be expressed not only in the thought "I'm afraid!", but also in ordinary anxiety or nervous state. If you are nervous or worried for any reason, that is also fear, you just hide it under other names. So, how to overcome fear and self-doubt? How to gain this self-confidence? All about this further in the article.

Fear and truths about fear

To get rid of fear, you need to understand what it is. Moreover, the approach here should be individual, since we are all different, respectively, and the manifestations of fear in our lives are different.

All fears can be divided into "right" and "wrong".

"Right" fears- these are manifestations of the instinct of self-preservation, they are inherent in us by nature and allow us to quickly respond to impending danger.

"Wrong" fears- fears that arose in the process of our growing up and upbringing, they do not allow us to grow as individuals and become an obstacle on the way to the goal. It is from these "wrong" fears that you need to get rid of. How to do it?

To overcome your fears, you need to restore faith in yourself! You must believe that you are able to reach your goals, despite the obstacles that you are sure to meet along the way. We set a goal and go to it. Doubts about your abilities must be cast aside once and for all.

Why do we doubt? Sometimes it is impossible to get to the root of the doubt. Even if you manage to do it, so what? The fact that you have identified the cause of the doubt does not mean at all that you have immediately got rid of it.

Say to yourself: “I don’t like that my doubts are preventing me from moving forward and achieving my goals!”. And after that, take action, because thinking “why did these doubts arise” and “how did it happen” takes up your time, energy and mood, which are better directed in a positive direction.

To cope with fear, you need to know five truths about it:

1 . I can handle anything no matter the circumstances!

You can really do anything. And this phrase should be repeated to yourself as a permanent installation.

2. Fear will always be with me as I develop

It just needs to be acknowledged. Fear will always accompany you, it will go along, but you just need to learn to ignore it. When you realize this, you will learn to achieve your goal without looking back at doubts.

3 . In order not to be afraid, I will take it and do it!

When you yourself achieve something and see the direct result of the forces you have expended, then you will believe in yourself even more. Gradually, you will achieve new goals, and the feeling of confidence will grow.

4 . You will grow in your eyes when you go to the goal without excuses

To achieve something on your own means to feel your importance, and this, of course, allows you to gain confidence. By the way, if you have reached one goal and you no longer feel fear, then on the way to new goal it may reappear. When you try yourself in a new direction, fear will again be next to you - you can overcome it only with your decisive actions.

5 . In unfamiliar territory, everyone experiences fear!

Do you think that only you are afraid of something in a new and unusual situation? Not at all. At any new situation each of us will also experience fear, only some will go forward, while others will remain in place, doubting themselves. If you understand that the people around you also experience fears, it will become much easier for you to bear your doubts.

Repeat these truths every day. Be aware of each of them - this will be the first step towards getting rid of your fears! Learn to think in a new way, and stop all doubts with the phrase “I can handle it!” or "I'll do it!". FEAR IS NOT A PROBLEM, IT IS NOT A HINDER ON THE WAY TO THE GOAL!

How do doubts and fears arise?

Most often, we ourselves are to blame for our fears - we ourselves attract them, doubting our actions. Remember how often you say "I can't" to an invitation to go somewhere to relax or to the request of a friend? These words "I can't" get stuck in your head and can't leave it. Replace them with the phrase "I won't" and you will immediately feel the difference. You will not show weakness - you will simply answer a question, request or assignment. “I can’t go to a bar” and “I won’t go to a bar because I will be preparing for tomorrow’s event” - feel the difference between these two phrases.

How many more such phrases are constantly spinning among our thoughts and help doubts capture us in their captivity? There are a lot of them and it is they that contribute to the emergence of fear.

You need to remove the phrase “I need” from your thoughts. speak correctly "I could"! In the first case, a sense of obligation presses on you, and in the second, you feel the possibility of choice.

Forget about the phrase "It's not my fault", it makes you helpless. Replace it with "I'll keep that in mind I'll do better next time". You need to take responsibility for your life. When you realize this, you will understand that only you can change your life. Gradually, you will find yourself in a position of power, and the level of fear will automatically decrease!

Another phrase that needs to be urgently eliminated from your head is “I have a problem” or “This is problematic.” If you perceive the situation as a problem, then this already leads to negativity. Every problem needs to be considered. How new opportunity ! If you learn to handle problems in such a way that they turn into new opportunities, then you will definitely become stronger, and certainly more confident in yourself.

Get rid of the phrase "I hope" - it immediately makes you anxious. And here "I know" immediately programming full confidence in their power. Your fear is also confirmed by the phrases “This is terrible” or “What can I do?”. You must learn to perceive your life from the other side: "I will draw conclusions" And "I know I can handle the situation".

As you can see, most often we ourselves are to blame for our fears. Our negative perception of what is happening, the role of the victim and the unwillingness to face difficulties help our fears grow. To eliminate them, you must take responsibility for your life and move forward.

All in your hands!

We must urgently get rid of the role of the victim, because the victim is always scared, because she is helpless! You need to understand that everything is only in your hands, moreover, entirely and completely!

Of course, you cannot be responsible for everything that happens in your life. You just need to understand that the reason for your experiences is only yourself.

Your reaction to what is happening is the result of your thinking!

When you understand that you yourself are responsible for what is going on in your head, you can take control of your life.

So, your task will learn the following truths:

1 . Taking responsibility and blaming yourself are two different things.

Yes, you take responsibility for your life, but you should not blame yourself for the past, present or future. Moreover, there is no need to be upset. Perceive the obstacles that prevent you from reaching your goal as educational process, as a result of which you will be freed from fears.

How do you know where in your life you are not taking responsibility? Analyze in what situations you feel angry or upset, blame others, feel sorry for yourself. It is in these moments that you shirk responsibility. Other signs of liability evasion may include:

• distraction,
• fatigue,
• impatience,
• feelings of envy or jealousy
• feeling of disappointment
• helplessness
• constant uncertainty
• desire to control others.

Do you notice things like this? Think about where they come from - it is in these moments that you need to take responsibility.

2. The inner talker must know his place

The Inner Talker is the voice in your head that constantly leads you to negative thoughts, doubts and worries. By putting it in place in time, you will find the key to all your fears. True, you still cannot do without it: the Talker allows us to realize the need for change, he will always accompany you during work on yourself.

3 . Taking responsibility, we are aware of the hidden benefits

What is hidden benefit? There are people who always complain about their health, but do not fix it. Why? Because it benefits them! So attention is always riveted to them, and they themselves have a “weighty” reason to play the role of a victim. Any failure they can attribute to the fact that they have poor health. But you just need to realize these "hidden" benefits and take responsibility for this part of your life.

4 . We formulate goals - we undertake to achieve them

5 . Every situation has multiple solutions.

In any situation, you have a choice: you can do this or do it this way. Only you can make yourself happy or unhappy - you make that choice! You need to stop at the option that will make you better and will contribute to personal growth.

How to get rid of fear?

To overcome fear, you need to take a position of strength: get your strength back - get rid of fear. At the same time, it is important:

• If your life brings you negative emotions, then this can not be blamed in any way. external factors. You alone are responsible for your emotions, thoughts and actions.
• Don't blame yourself for not being in control of everything in life. This is impossible. The process of returning oneself to a position of strength occurs gradually.
• Analyze the moments in which you appear as a victim. These are the parts of your life that you need to take responsibility for.
• Turn the Inner Talker into your friend, learn how to use it for your own purposes.
• Find out for yourself if you have hidden benefits that slow you down in the development process. When you find and acknowledge them, it will be much easier to overcome your fears.
• Your actions must be in line with your goals.
• In any situation, your reaction should be directed towards positive and harmony with yourself.

Many, by the way, belong to the theory positive thinking skeptical. But think for yourself: what we
worry, most of the time it doesn't. So is it worth tormenting yourself with negative expectations when it's better to think positive? Why be afraid of something and worry about it when you can think about more pleasant things?

To win the battle with fears, use affirmations - positive statements that something good is happening to you right now. Affirmations should be formulated only in the present tense and always in a positive way. For example, "I can handle this problem" rather than "I can handle this problem."

When making a decision, we are afraid of making a mistake, choosing the wrong option. But after all, in any case, we gain something, and our own thinking makes our choice a mistake. We think that we have made a mistake. Maybe this is not a mistake at all? In the fight against fear, it is important to shift the focus of your thinking so that in any case your choice is not a mistake - it should just be one of the options that led to a particular result.

Believe in your strength! Do it gradually:

• First, determine your priorities - your own, not someone else's. We often do what others say. And we must do what we ourselves want.

Personally, I own experience made sure of it. At one time I received 2 higher education because that's what the parents wanted. And just when I thought that I had repaid my debt to them and would finally start doing what I had wanted for so long, I again stumbled upon the disapproval of my parents. Who tried in every possible way to impose their priorities on me in choosing my professional future. Fortunately, by pulling myself together and saying a firm NO, I got rid of their attitudes, defining my priorities and goals. Now that I am walking my path, I feel happy and fulfilled in life. And the fear faded into the background.

• Trust your impulses! Listen to your intuition, often our body itself tells us on a subconscious level in which direction to move.
• Be simple! Don't take your actions too seriously. Be simpler, perceive life around you more easily.
• Change your action plan! You are on your way to your goal, and if your plan is not working, then you just need to change it. If you do not change it, then you will not reach the goal.
• Think of your mistakes as experiences that lead you to success.

To get rid of fears, use psychological exercises- they are available to absolutely everyone!

Exercise #1: If you are facing a problem, then you always have several options for solving it. Take a piece of paper and write on it positive points each of these options. What is the result? Each option will right decision problems, because each has its own positive sides.

Exercise #2: During the day when you have to make a choice, train yourself to think, "It doesn't matter." And really, does it really matter, for example, where you dine today? Just different variants bring different experiences.

Exercise #3: In the fight against fears, positive “reminders” will help you: “We will break through!”, “Everything will be super!”, “I will do it!” and so on. Write them down on small pieces of paper and stick them up at home and at the workplace in the office. Now, when you start to worry, such a “reminder” will help you eliminate unnecessary worries and think about a positive outcome.

To cope with fears, you need to understand, first of all, in your head. All our fears come from the wrong mindset. Shift his activities towards the positive, set goals and go to them, forgetting about fears and doubts!

Children are not the only ones prone to anxiety. According to statistics, more than 20% of the world's population experience various restrictions in their lives due to fear. The emergence of this phenomenon is associated with an ancient biological response, and people began to ask the question of how to overcome fear in ancient times.

Experts say that the active inclusion of the head consciousness can resist it. But first things first.

Parable of Fear

One person wandered the world. On the way he met the plague. The man asked her where she was going. To which the plague replied that it was going to the neighboring village to destroy a thousand lives. They broke up, and a month later they met again. A man with pretensions told the plague that it had deceived him and taken five thousand human lives. The plague replied that she did not lie, but really carried away a thousand, all other people died without her participation, just from fear.

People are afraid of heights, darkness, nightmares, loneliness, driving a car, flying and many more things that you might not be afraid of. Why? What happens to a person? What is fear? Are there ways to overcome fear?

Fear - what is it?

Fear is an internal state caused by imminent real or perceived disaster. From the point of view of psychology, it is considered a negatively colored emotion.

In life, he meets daily. We go to work, do household chores, visit shops and theaters, where something can happen that can scare us, so how to deal with fear and is it necessary?

We are born, we begin to breathe, scream and be afraid at the same time. This phenomenon haunts us throughout our lives. And for many people it restricts freedom, poisons their lives, destroys both body and soul. And no one likes to experience this feeling. And it's impossible not to experience it.

The world has unique people who know neither fear nor horror. But this rare disease, due to which amygdala the brain responsible for this feeling, for unknown reasons, stops working. Man is not afraid of anything, not even death. It is impossible to say whether this is a gift or a disadvantage, but a person has fearlessness.

If you think about it, fearlessness is not so good, since a person is subject to serious dangers, which he does not even suspect, he does not know what to be afraid of, and, therefore, does not think about how to deal with fears.

This state destroys us, but at the same time it also plays a positive role, both in the life of an individual and in the whole society. Fear warns a person about danger, teaches what to avoid, that is, warns. But if a person is covered by a wave, then a person can succumb to panic.

Techniques for dealing with fear

Many psychologists argue that the question of how to deal with fears can be handled with one in a simple way is to stop even thinking about how to overcome fear, that is, to stop escaping from it. While we think about what we are afraid of, we, losing our energy, only think about it.

For example, a common fear, especially among women, is the fear of driving. Before they start taking the exam, they are already thinking about how to overcome the fear of driving. Thus, they program themselves for this fear.

How to overcome fear? It's pretty simple. help everything. No desire to wait for hours public transport, and then also push in it, while constantly being late for meetings or work? So you need to make your life easier and learn to drive a car. This is the only thing to think about. Thoughts are occupied with motivation, there is no place for the question of how to overcome fear, motivation does not leave. The technique works flawlessly.

Tune in for the best

90% of people who suffer from fears set themselves up for them. For example, many people are afraid of flying. They do not yet know what to be afraid of, but they are already afraid.

How to overcome this type of fear? You need to build a flight plan inside yourself, that is, what you can do interestingly during the flight. Read books, get enough sleep, in the end, for these activities, you will not notice how you find yourself in right place. This will be a painless and effective overcoming of fear.

You can imagine inside yourself a small, frightened child who definitely needs to be calmed down. Positive emotions and memories, representations of the good fairy that soothes inner child and shows beautiful pictures- all this occupies the brain and helps to overcome fear.

Breathing exercises

You need to admit to yourself that you are really afraid that everything is shrinking inside, creating discomfort. How to overcome fear and get rid of discomfort? In order to relax yourself, you can focus your attention on breathing, restore it.

Then try to do the actions from the body to the mind. Intentionally turn your shoulders, start massaging any points, it is not necessary to know the massage technique, just massage, while focusing on the sensations in the body.

Getting rid of the internal dialogue

Most often, we are afraid of the inner voice. How to overcome the fear that comes from internal dialogue? This voice is ours, and we must exercise our power over it. He can be changed intonation or made to speak in a whisper or too fast, you can even make him speak from his little toe. It is impossible to take such a voice seriously and it will become easy and even fun to overcome fear.

Our imagination draws us against the background of circumstances as very small, so we cannot always understand how to deal with such a big fear, it is much larger than us. One must mentally place dangerous circumstances in an absurd situation.

For example, make the situation small, place it in a saucepan and cover with a lid. This will be an interesting solution to the question of how to overcome fear. It is important to believe that we know how to overcome fear, no matter how we do it.

Technique "remembered case"

It depends on what types of fear a person experiences, in what ways to deal with fears. If someone offended you, you were frightened by a dog, they performed an unpleasant action with you, as a result, a lump of fear remained inside you, information about which you are well aware of, that is, you know very well about the source of fear, which means that the subconscious mind wrote down in some block memory of this case.

Naturally, a similar situation will always scare you. How to deal with such fears? You just need to imagine yourself in a cinema, on the screen of which there is a film about the circumstance that happened to you. You need to mentally turn the upper left corner of the screen into a tube, after which a new screen will appear, where almost the same actions take place, but with a favorable outcome. By changing bad actions to positive or even humorous ones in the subconscious three times, you can erase unpleasant events from your memory.

When a person laughs at something, there can be no fear, it arises only in an acute and serious situation. Over time, you will be able to notice that the subconscious has registered a funny story instead of a scary situation, and in reality, such a situation will no longer scare you.

A quick way out of a depressing state

There are many ways to deal with fear. They can be suppressed, burned, recoded, you can work with beliefs. There is one trick that can get out of a state of momentary horror. You just need to remember what it is. This is a small energy tangle, which arose, perhaps even from nowhere. The purpose of this lump is one - to make sure that this state does not happen again.

For example, you saw an accident, and now you are afraid to get into the same situation, or you are afraid of being left without food, because you once experienced hunger (this applies to the older generation who experienced hunger), you can be afraid of the future, old age or death. These concerns are not always justified. Our subconscious does not distinguish real events and what we can imagine.

We must convince ourselves that fear is not harmful, but useful, it activates our psyche, mobilizes us to protect ourselves from danger. And if he is so good, then you need to thank him for his good functions.

As soon as the horror takes possession of you, you must understand where in the body it is located. You need to try to localize this place and imagine its image. Even if it looks like a dirty gray lump. You need to direct your good energy to this lump with all the words of gratitude for his care. Fear, flooded with warm energy, transforms into its opposite. There will be peace and self-confidence within you.

Hormones of fear

The symptoms of anxiety and fear are the same for everyone. But we all behave differently in critical situations. Some know how to control themselves, others have a frightened look, and still others are close to panic.

Scientific studies have shown that danger leads to the release of two stress hormones, such as:

• Adrenaline (rabbit hormone), which is produced in cowardly animals.

It dilates the vessels of the brain, but constricts the vessels of the skin. We are used to hearing that the face turns gray with fear. From its ejection, the pulse quickens, breathing accelerates. People get lost with the predominant “rabbit” hormone, horror leads them to a stupor. People do not overcome fear, but give themselves into the hands of fate, and often their fate ends in tears.

• Norepinephrine (a lion hormone) is predominantly produced by predators and absent from their prey.

This hormone has completely different symptoms. The blood vessels dilate, the face turns red. The presence of this hormone characterizes the stability of the nervous system to stress, determines the physical and mental stability of the body. The norepinephrine type of people automatically arrange a fight with fear, they can instantly mobilize in dangerous situations easily overcoming them. At the same time, they can perform such actions that do not always fit into the scope of possibilities.

Fear is good in that it forces us to look for unknown resources within us. So he recalls that it is impossible to become the master of the situation today with the set of opportunities that we have.

Therefore, experts argue about the dangers and benefits of this phenomenon, about its destructive or constructive influence. They argue about how to deal with fear and whether it is worth it. No one can give a definite answer to these questions. And most importantly - no one has solved the riddle of how this phenomenon arises when it settles in our bodies, whether this feeling is innate or acquired.

The researchers conducted an experiment during which they found that children under one year old are not afraid of terrible pictures, and scary images caused anxiety in two-year-old children. It turns out that fear comes to us with the negative experience that we receive from the world around us.

Some of the common human fears may be from childhood experience, and the other part is rewritten programs of parental experience, called scripts, when hidden programs are inherited.

Why we are afraid: the meaning of fears

Psychologists say that fear is a phenomenon of an acute emotional reaction caused by events that have taken place or circumstances in the outside world.

Moreover, the circumstances could be both real and unreal, hence the ways of dealing with fear are found out. As a result, the basis is the threat to the existence of a person, both biological and social state.

Psychologists distinguish several aspects of fear: fears, fears, frights and horrors. But they are all divided into external factors and internal states i.e. they can be objective or subjective.

Before figuring out how to conquer fear, you need to understand that fear is a constant defensive reaction of the human body, it is a warning of the human consciousness regarding a threatening situation.

And it will be much easier to overcome fear if we accept it as a defense. But there are more serious situations when overcoming fear begins with understanding its root cause.

Fears in modern life

We live in a very complex information world. And the unreal amount of information that comes to us today is strikingly different from that which people received in the era of Jesus Christ. Then for the period of complete life cycle of a person, there were only six events when decisions had to be made. We have to do this every day and more than once, and at the same time fight fear.

Experts say that psychologically and biologically we do not differ from people of past eras. So it's hard for us to cope external environment, we are experiencing an adaptive shock, since it is extremely difficult for us to streamline the avalanche flow of semantic and emotional information that falls upon us.

The nervous system of each of us is experiencing daily stress, so psychologists and psychotherapists today are seriously tackling the question: "how to overcome fear for a modern person."

Psychotherapist Fritz Perls said that nervous system must chew what is happening in life, then swallow and digest it. Accordingly, all fears are not chewed or swallowed pieces of information.

Myth of the ancient Greeks

Since ancient times, people have known that this phenomenon has a dual nature. Among the ancient Greeks, this knowledge is expressed in the myth of the god Pan (hence the word "panic"). He was born with goat limbs, horns and a beard. His appearance was terrifying, but besides that, he screamed loudly, which terrified people. Pan once sent this gift for good, he horrified the army of the Persians who attacked the Greeks, they did not know how to overcome fear and cowardly fled.

This is just a myth, but in reality, scientists tested volunteers to investigate the nature and effects of this phenomenon on them in extreme situations. They made jumps from a height. At the time of the test, neurons in the tonsils of the brain were activated in the volunteers. This is called anxiety.

The organism immediately reacts to the phenomenon. We all know the feeling of the heart jumping out of the chest, we immediately remember that fear has large eyes, but in reality the pupils expand. In addition, our mouths dry out as the activity of the digestive glands decreases. Such feelings are present in each of us, but the struggle with fear is different for everyone.