Tin! From the life of an ambulance. Everyday life of a rural ambulance paramedic
People have been sick for centuries, and for centuries they have been waiting for help. Oddly enough, the proverb "Thunder does not strike - a peasant does not cross himself" applies not only to our people.
The creation of the Vienna Voluntary Rescue Society began immediately after the catastrophic fire in the Vienna Comic Opera House on December 8, 1881, in which only 479 people died. Despite the abundance of well-equipped clinics, many victims (with burns and injuries) could not receive medical treatment for more than a day. medical care. At the origins of the Society was Professor Jaromir Mundi, a surgeon who witnessed the fire.
Doctors and medical students worked as part of the ambulance crews. And you can see the ambulance transport of Vienna in those years in the photo
The next Ambulance Station was created by Professor Esmarch in Berlin (although the professor is more likely to be remembered for his mug - the one for enemas ... :).
In Russia, the creation of an ambulance began in 1897 from Warsaw.
Naturally, the advent of the car could not pass by this sphere of human life. Already at the dawn of the automotive industry, the idea of using self-running wheelchairs for medical purposes appeared. However, the first motorized "ambulances" (and they appeared, apparently, in America) had ... electric traction. Since March 1, 1900, New York hospitals have been using electric ambulances.
According to Automobiles magazine (No. 1, January 2002, the photo is dated by the magazine in 1901), this ambulance is the Columbia electric car (11 mph, range 25 km), which brought US President McKinley (William McKinley) to the hospital after attempt.
By 1906, there were six such machines in New York.
In Russia, they also realized that ambulance stations need cars. But at first, horse-drawn "carriages" were used.
Interestingly, from the very first days of the work of the Moscow Ambulance, a type of brigade was formed, which has survived with slight "variations" to the present day - a doctor, paramedic and orderly. Each Station had one carriage. Each carriage was equipped with a stowage with medicines, tools and dressings.
Only the right to call an ambulance officials- policeman, janitor, night watchman.
Since the beginning of the 20th century, the city has partially subsidized the work of Ambulance Stations. By the middle of 1902, Moscow within the Kamer-Kollezhsky Val was serviced by 7 ambulances, which were located at 7 stations - at the Sushchevsky, Sretensky, Lefortovsky, Tagansky, Yakimansky and Presnensky police stations and the Prechistensky fire station. The radius of service was limited to the boundaries of their police station. The first carriage for the transportation of women in labor in Moscow appeared at the maternity hospital of the Bakhrushin brothers in 1903. Nevertheless, the available forces were not enough to provide for the growing city.
In St. Petersburg, each of the 5 ambulance stations was equipped with two horse carriages, 4 pairs of manual stretchers and everything necessary for first aid. At each station, 2 orderlies were on duty (there were no doctors on duty), whose task was to transport the victims on the streets and squares of the city to the nearest hospital or apartment. The first head of all first aid stations and the head of the entire first aid business in St. Petersburg under the committee of the Red Cross Society was G. I. Turner.
A year after the opening of the stations (in 1900), the Central Station arose, and in 1905 the 6th First Aid Station was opened. By 1909, the organization of first (first) aid in St. Petersburg was presented in following form: The central station, which directed and regulated the work of all regional stations, she also received all calls for ambulance.
In 1912, a group of doctors of 50 people agreed to travel free of charge on a call from the Station to provide first aid.
In 1907, the factory of P.A. Frese, one of the creators of the first Russian automobile, exhibited an ambulance of its own production on a Renault chassis at the International Motor Show in St. Petersburg.
A car with a body of the Ilyin factory (designed by Dr. Pomortsev) on the La Buire 25/35 chassis, suitable both for transporting patients and for surgical care in the conditions of a military field hospital.
In St. Petersburg, 3 Adler ambulances (Adler Typ K or KL 10/25 PS) were purchased in 1913, and an ambulance station was opened on Gorokhovaya, 42.
The large German company Adler, which produced a wide range of cars, is now in oblivion.
Sanitary bodies for the Petrograd detachment of the IRAO were made by the well-known crew and body factory "Iv. Breitigam"
Ambulance La Buire
With the outbreak of the First World War, ambulances were needed.
Moscow motorists (from the First Russian Automobile Club in Moscow and the Moscow Automobile Society), and volunteers from other cities too (on the right - photo of Russo-Balt D24 / 35 of the Petrovsky Volunteer Fire Society from Riga) formed ambulance columns from their cars converted for medical needs, organized infirmaries for the wounded with the funds raised. Thanks to cars, tens, if not hundreds of thousands of lives of soldiers of the Russian army have been saved. Only motorists of the First Russian Automobile Club in Moscow from August to December 1914 transported 18,439 wounded and injured from railway stations to hospitals and infirmaries.
In addition to Russian sanitary detachments, several foreign volunteer sanitary detachments operated on the eastern front. The Americans have been very active. In the photo on the left - Ford T cars (Ford T) of the American sanitary detachment in Paris. Pay attention to the dress code of the people gathered for the war - white shirts, ties, boaters.
Pierce-Arrow cars (Pierce-Arrow 48-B-53) with the inscription "named after H.I.V. Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna American Detachment. American Ambulance in Russia". The photographs give an idea of the number of ambulances used for medical support of military operations in those years.
French and English volunteer sanitary columns also operated on the eastern (Russian) front, and the sanitary detachment of the Russian Volunteer Corps operated in France.
In the photo, the English Daimler Coventry (Daimler Coventry 15HP) with the inscription Ambulance Russe on board
Renault, on the right - the English sanitary Vauxhall, which was also supplied to Russia.
Unic (Unic C9-0) of the French Red Cross in Odessa, 1917 (chauffeur in the French military uniform), a Russian soldier stands in a group of people.
Ambulance of the Russian army Renault (Renault)
After the revolution, at first, old or captured equipment was used.
In the first post-revolutionary years, automobile ambulance transport provided not only an ambulance station, but also hospitals, as well as the Petrograd fire brigade. The goal is obvious - to speed up the provision of medical care to victims of a fire.
An unidentified make of the car in a 1920s photograph.
In the first years after the revolution, ambulances in Moscow served only accidents. Those who fell ill at home (regardless of severity) were not served. Paragraph emergency care for suddenly ill at home was organized by the Moscow ambulance in 1926. Doctors went to the sick on motorcycles with sidecars, then in cars. Subsequently, emergency care was separated into a separate service and transferred to the district health departments.
Since 1927, the first specialized team, a psychiatric team, has been working at the Moscow Ambulance Service, which went to "violent" patients. Subsequently (1936) this service was transferred to a specialized psychiatric hospital under the leadership of the city psychiatrist.
It is obvious that it was impossible to cover the needs for sanitary transport in such a vast country as the USSR through imports. With the development of the domestic automotive industry, the machines of the Gorky Automobile Plant became the basic machines for installing specialized bodies. In the photo - GAZ-A ambulance at factory tests. Whether this car was mass-produced is unknown.
The second chassis suitable for conversion to the needs of an ambulance in the 30s was the GAZ-AA lorry. Under specialized car bodies, they were remade in a variety of obscure workshops. In the photo - an ambulance from Tula.
In Leningrad, it seems that GAZ-AA was the main ambulance in the 1930s (left). In 1934, the standard body of the Leningrad ambulance was adopted. By 1941, the Leningrad ambulance station consisted of 9 substations in various regions and had a fleet of 200 vehicles. The service area of each substation averaged 3.3 km. operational management carried out by the staff of the central substation.
In the Moscow ambulance, GAZ-AA was also used. And at least several varieties of the machine. On the left is a photo dated 1930. Perhaps this is a Ford AA).
In Moscow, the conversion of Ford-AA into an ambulance was carried out according to the project of I.F. German. The front and rear springs were replaced with softer ones, hydraulic shock absorbers were installed on both axles, the rear axle was equipped with single wheels, due to which the car had a narrow rear track. The car did not have its own name or designation.
The growth in the number of substations and calls required an appropriate fleet of vehicles - fast, roomy and comfortable. The Soviet limousine ZiS-101 became the basis for the creation of an ambulance. The medical modification was created at the plant according to the project of I.F. German with the active assistance of doctors A.S. Puchkov and A.M. Nechaev.
These machines worked in the Moscow ambulance and the post-war period.
The specifics of the work special requirements to the ambulance. A specialized vehicle was designed and built in the Moscow ambulance garage.
Before the war, developed and from 1937 to 1945, a branch of GAZ (since 1939 it became known as the Gorky Bus Plant) produced specialized GAZ-55 vehicles (based on the GAZ-MM truck - a modernized version of the GAZ-AA with a GAZ-M engine). In the GAZ-55, it was possible to transport 4 bedridden and 2 seated patients or 2 bedridden and 5 seated or 10 seated. The car was equipped with an exhaust gas heater and a ventilation system.
By the way, you probably remember the ambulance in the movie "Prisoner of the Caucasus". It was her driver who cursed: "Yes, so that I still sat down at the steering wheel of this vacuum cleaner!" This is a GAZ-MM with a handicraft sanitary body.
In total, more than 9 thousand cars were produced. Unfortunately, not a single one survived.
The history of medical buses is interesting - most often cities converted from mobilized passenger transport.
On the left is the ZIS-8 (bus on the ZIS-5 chassis).
ZIS produced these buses only in 1934-36, later buses according to the plant's drawings were produced on the ZIS-5 truck chassis by many enterprises, bus fleets and body shops, in particular, the Aremkuz Moscow plant.
The 1938 ZIS-8 bus shown in the photo, owned by the Mosfilm film studio, was filmed in the film The Meeting Place Cannot Be Changed.
The ZIS-16 city buses were also based on the ZIS-5 chassis. A simplified modification - a medical bus - was developed before the war, produced since 1939 under the name ZIS-16S. The car could carry 10 bedridden and 10 seated patients (not counting the driver's and nurse's seats).
In the first post-war years (since 1947), the base ambulance was ZIS-110A (a sanitary modification of the famous ZIS-110 limousine), created at the plant in close cooperation with the leaders of the Moscow ambulance station A.S. Puchkov and A.M. Nechaev using the experience accumulated in the pre-war years. It can be seen that the rear door opened along with the rear window, which is much more convenient than it was on the ZIS-101. A box is visible to the right of the stretcher - apparently, its "regular place" was provided there.
The car was equipped with an eight-cylinder in-line six-liter engine with a capacity of 140 hp, thanks to which it was fast, but very voracious - fuel consumption of 27.5 l / 100 km.
At least two of these cars have survived to this day.
In the 50s, GAZ-12B ZIM cars came to the aid of the ZIS. The front seat was separated by a glass partition, in the rear of the cabin there was a retractable stretcher and two folding seats.
The six-cylinder GAZ-51 engine in the forced version reached a power of 95 hp, was somewhat "quicker" in terms of dynamic qualities than the ZIS-110, but gasoline (A-70, which was considered high-octane in those years) consumed noticeably less -18, 5 l/100 km.
There was also a medical modification of the famous "Victory" GAZ-M20.
In the car, a folding stretcher was located somewhat obliquely. The left half of the back of the rear seat could recline, making room for a stretcher. A similar design is used to this day.
The main city ambulance (the so-called linear) in the 1960s were specialized RAF-977I vehicles (produced by the Riga Automobile Plant on Volga GAZ-21 units).
Apparently, it was on these machines that they first began to put flashing beacons of orange (or red?) color.
In the late 50s and early 60s, Skoda-1201 ambulances were delivered in large quantities from the Czech Republic.
As advertisements for the sale of retro vehicles show, some of these cars are still alive.
The Gorky Automobile Plant built the main fleet of ambulances on the basis of GAZ-22 vehicles. By the way, export versions of the GAZ-22BM and GAZ-22E were also produced.
In the second half of the 1970s, new RAFIKs appeared - RAF-22031 cars, assembled at a new production facility in Jelgava based on a new generation Volga - GAZ-24. After modernization and some changes in the external design, the car was assigned the RAF-2915 index. Those who have been working on an ambulance for a long time still fondly remember these minibuses for their soft suspension and the ability to maneuver in tight yards. The car has been out of production for a long time, the Riga Automobile Plant has long been closed, and this car is still working in small towns and some departmental medical institutions.
On the basis of RAFIKs, the Finnish company TAMRO offered specialized machines - resuscitation, cardiological, etc. The cars were distinguished by a high roof and high build quality of the medical salon. The cars were painted according to Finnish rules - in bright yellow colors, which are more visible in the stream and, therefore, safe. It was with these cars that the "fashion" began to paint ambulances in bright lemon colors (which was reflected in GOSTs)
IN countryside and small towns since the 60s of the last century and still the basis of the ambulance fleet are UAZs.
The machine is actively used in the army and has a proper name - "pill". These models are outdated, do not correspond modern requirements on safety, and in the near future their production will be discontinued.
"Volga" GAZ-24-03 also served as a medical vehicle. The machine is mainly used as an ambulance and at emergency stations. Many of these vehicles have never "seen" patients on stretchers, because they were used as auxiliary transport, which is always "at hand". It's funny that these "Volgas", having 2 seats in the cabin and 3 seats in the cabin (1 on a stretcher and two for sitting), according to the European standard EN1789, cannot be used as medical ones at all in terms of the size of the cabin.
On the Volga GAZ-24-03 chassis, the Finnish company TAMPO built specialized ambulances with an original interior. Such machines were operated, in particular, in Leningrad.
The ZIL-118M "Youth" bus became the basis for the creation of the "people's" reanimobile in the second half of the 60s. Interesting was the roof, which could rise up. At the same time, the roof was connected to the base with a soft hermetic "sleeve". A similar lifting roof design was used on old Volkswagen minibuses adapted for overnight tourists.
IN Lately GAZelle (GAZ-32214) became the main ambulance. The universal chassis is used both as a linear vehicle and as a specialized one. An ambulance is usually a car with a high roof. Despite the well-known shortcomings of the base chassis, alternatives to this machine in the coming years for a poor Russian medicine not expected: as you know, the price determines the choice.
From the site FELDSHER.RU
My first month at a German hospital was full of surprises. But the case with the patient “floating” in the air was especially memorable.
After my first surgery assistant, I needed to move a patient from the operating room to the intensive care unit. It would seem that nothing unusual, the procedure worked out even in the Motherland to the smallest detail - they took and shifted the patient for one or two, but for some reason the patient was taken on the operating table to a separate room. In the middle of this room was an incomprehensible apparatus with a small monitor that outwardly resembled an L-shaped table. My colleagues asked me to bring in a patient's hospital bed and put it on the opposite side of the table.
While I was taking care of the bed, the patient outside help began to rise above operating table and move in my direction, while the patient was still under the influence of anesthesia. My surprise knew no bounds. But what about "one or two took" ???
It turns out that in order to save the backs of health workers, devices were invented that work on the principle of a moving tape at the checkout in a supermarket. Such a tape drives under the patient and absolutely smoothly moves and puts him to bed. So here it is...
I wonder how much you know about medicine in Germany?
I will try to state the 20 most unusual and interesting facts about medicine in Germany, in my opinion:
20. Most ambulance calls are attended by medical rescuers who are not doctors, and only in severe cases an additional doctor arrives.
19. The minimum duration of training as a medical specialist is 11 years.
18. Mandatory Standard for any surgical procedure is the absence of pain. Therefore, even gastroscopy (examination of the stomach with a probe), not to mention more serious interventions, is carried out under intravenous anesthesia(anesthesia).
17. Wounds are usually sutured with a medical stapler or surgical bandage, which then greatly simplifies the removal of sutures/staples.
16. The salary of a pathologist is, on average, the highest in Germany.
15. At a doctor's appointment in Germany, you will be very surprised when you see that he does not write anything down. Rather, you will watch the doctor talking to himself, since all information in German hospitals is dictated to dictaphones.
14. While in the hospital, you will be offered a menu of food to choose from, much like in a restaurant. Lunch will consist of a minimum of three courses, as well as dessert and drinks of your choice.
13. If you get sick and you need to go across the city to see a doctor, it’s not a problem, the insurance will pay for the taxi services (the main thing is not to forget to keep the receipt).
12. Passing through the corridor of hospitals, you can always disinfect your hands. Literally on every corner there are bottles of disinfectant solution, sometimes even with an automatic sprayer.
11. Every person in Germany must have health insurance. The poor, the unemployed or refugees are paid by the state, and it is no different from ordinary insurance.
10. Intravenous administration any drugs (droppers or just injections) can only be performed by a doctor.
9. Relatives of patients can be in any part of the hospital (except for the operating room), while no one will require the presence of shoe covers and a gown.
8. All hospitals have Internet access, a landline telephone with an individual number and cable TV.
7. Medical insurance in Germany can pay for a heart transplant, joint replacement, but at the same time dental services are usually paid out of pocket.
6. If you don't speak German and you have a lot to tell the doctor, don't worry - insurance will pay for the interpreter's services.
5. If you regularly visit the dentist for preventive care, then part of the cost of filling your teeth or prosthetics will be covered by insurance.
4. Pediatricians or "children's" dentists, as a rule, pamper their little patients with small toys or sweets, while "children's" orthopedists or oculists do not exist, since highly specialized doctors are required to accept everyone, regardless of age.
3. » If you have a fever, runny nose and cough, take paracetamol and make an appointment with your doctor.- these are the recommendations that you will receive from German doctors by phone, because home visits by doctors are not accepted in Germany, the same applies to children.
2. No matter how many medicines the doctor prescribes for you, most likely you will pay no more than 5 euros for everything, the rest is covered by insurance.
1. Defibrillators (devices that deliver an electric shock when the heart stops) can be found in the most crowded public places, such as metro stations, shopping centers. These devices hang in special lockers and, if necessary, anyone can use them. Special knowledge on the use of such devices is not needed, since a voice assistant is built into it.
For more than thirty years, I had to see a lot of terrible and tragic, strange and incomprehensible, funny and comic. Ambulance is my first professional love. “Our work is like a drug” - and that says a lot. Only enthusiasts stay here for a long time: for decades. The rest soon leave, unable to stand it.
“Severe people in white coats,” a journalist wrote about ambulance workers. These "severe people" "save the lives of those who often curse them for nothing, not seeing them on the doorstep a minute after phone call to "03". And often they risk not only getting their dressing gown dirty. Here are some examples:
Ten years ago. Three o'clock at night. Mid January. Call to multi-storey building, reason "woman 40 years old, bad heart." We head to the entrance. We notice: twenty meters behind our car, a car with extinguished headlights stops, but no one gets out. Naturally, this does not concern us and we continue on our way. The call turned out to be “false”: there is no apartment with this number in this house. We return to inform the dispatcher by radio. Headlights light up and four policemen in bulletproof vests with machine guns at the ready appear from the mentioned car.
Dialogue: "Are you on call?" “Yes, but there is no such apartment in this house. And what?" “We are also on call: we were told that the husband had shot his wife.”
Comments: four armed "guards of order" from a distance in the car were waiting for further events to unfold, "giving way" to unarmed doctors.
... Even on the stairs we were met by a heart-rending female cry. In the hallway on the floor - an old woman with no signs of life. We start right away resuscitation. Literally in a couple of minutes, the heartbeat and spontaneous breathing are restored, but consciousness is absent. The patient's condition remains severe. We transfer the patient to the arrived specialized resuscitation team and leave for the next call. The last thing that remains in my memory is the beautiful and well-groomed hands of the patient lying helplessly along the body, somewhat inconsistent with her 76-year-old age.
Five days later, having learned to which hospital the special team delivered the patient, I call, fearing to hear the worst. The answer of the attending physician struck: “yesterday I went home on my own” - “How is it going home? Are you confused, colleague? - “Well, yes, I would confuse this grandmother with a manicure with someone!”
Early in the morning we provide assistance to a patient with a severe stroke. Her daughter is completely calm and somehow even indifferent. Reports that “my mother became ill last night after the death of my father” - “Did he die in the hospital? - “No, we are at home” - “How are you at home? Where is he?!" - "In the bathroom. Went for a swim and died. What we saw in the bathroom is not a sight for Potion readers. It is incomprehensible: the daughter spent the whole night, without calling anyone, in the company of a dead father in a bathtub filled with water (!), And a dying mother in a state of deep cerebral coma!
“Doctor, I’m uncomfortable talking about this, but on the advice of a gynecologist, I measured basal body temperature V anus and accidentally fell asleep. And now it (of course, the thermometer) is nowhere to be found!” The case is rather non-standard: try to get this very fragile glass object without breaking it along the way. It's good if the "split" happens after the extraction. And what if?... The decision came, as it were, by itself. He sent the patient to the toilet, recommending that before defecation, put a pack of newspapers on the bottom of the toilet bowl. A few minutes later, a radiant woman presented me with the item I was looking for, completely intact.
A thirty-year-old woman in an extremely serious condition. The sharpest suffocation. The reason is excessive curiosity: when washing the bath, I decided to mix several different detergents and cleaners to “enhance the effect”. What happened chemical reaction was accompanied by a strong release of chlorine and right in the face. Finally, sharp toxic edema lungs due to chemical burns of the respiratory tract.
We are working on fire. Accompanied by firefighters in tarpaulin overalls, we go into a flooded apartment. Dead body young man who died from poisoning carbon monoxide(there are no burns on the body), and next to it is a small poodle, faithfully clinging to the feet of the deceased owner ... The wife of the deceased, rescued by her neighbors, is so drunk that she cannot even tell where her two young children are. There are no children's bodies anywhere in the apartment. In a few minutes, we are relieved to learn that the kids are with their grandmother in a neighboring house - they are alive and well.
"What happened to you?" - I ask a patient who was badly beaten with a noticeable alcoholic "exhaust". - “What are you, mother - to peremat ..., prosecutor?! ...” a stream of selective abuse and threats rushes. Although the victim is fully conscious and perfectly sees our white coats. We have to provide assistance by inviting "a man in uniform and with handcuffs" as an assistant. Unfortunately, such cases are almost daily. Sometimes doctors get it not only in verbal form ...
Childbirth began suddenly. Right in the car. The young paramedic, who accompanied the woman in labor, was confused and turned to his colleagues for help ... by radio. Experienced colleagues on the radio advised the neophyte in detail, at the same time rushing to his aid. But they did not have time: the birth took place safely and ended before their arrival right in the cabin of the ambulance with the help of the aforementioned paramedic, inspired by the professional instructions of his comrades received from the radio.
Late autumn evening rushing to an accident (traffic accident). In terms of hierarchical significance, this reason for the call is one of the most serious: it is almost never known how many victims and what their severity is, whether there are dead ... Naturally, the adrenaline rush of the entire brigade is maximum - the so-called "waiting stress". It is impossible to describe it - you yourself need to go to such a challenge under the howl of a siren, but with a flashing beacon! Yes, not just once!
So, in a matter of minutes we arrive, brake sharply, instantly take off from the car and see in the dim headlights on wet asphalt a rather heavy human body and a fair-haired female head lying ... separately, one and a half to two meters away. The feeling of fleeting horror immediately dissipated - it was just ... a woman's wig that flew off the head of an unlucky victim - a heavily drunk girl about thirty years old and weighing more than one centner (with considerable growth!).
Loading it into the car required a very significant physical effort not only of the members of the ambulance team, but also of the valiant traffic police officers. It should be noted that in addition to many abrasions, other injuries, fortunately, were not found. When they returned to the substation, they composed a couplet, slightly altering the well-known: - "Oh, it's hard work - To transport ... a hippopotamus from an accident!"
Voluntary reader's contribution to support the project
Mother and grandmother were drinking, a 4-year-old child turned the borscht pan over on herself. A bad pot.
Only dad was allowed into the intensive care unit to say goodbye (not a drinker).
When the child died in the intensive care unit (the kidneys failed), the thumping mother yelled that the child’s medical bitches “KILLED” her!
True, later, she was already yelling differently when her husband fucked her as best he could.
They dragged the peasant away so that he would not go to jail.
***
Reception. I ask the patient:
- Are there swelling on the legs?
- Eat.
I:
- Take off your socks. The second one too...
Silence in response...
- Well, take off the second sock, I say.
“I only washed one leg.
***
We arrive at the call at night, and there is a girl of 20 years old, drunk ... and without one ear! We are in ah * e, we ask:
- What's happened?
And she says, like the guy and I had sex, first, of course, we drank, he bit me in the ear in a fit of passion!
It's like, bitch, you have to bite to smack auricle almost entirely! Having done his dirty work, the gentleman got scared and ran away, and the roaring lady called an ambulance.
***
Once, in our collective farm, two brothers-Alkonauts got frostbite on their feet. So what? They also thumped for three weeks at home, and when they were both brought to the hospital ... they shook their fingers out of their boots.
The whole staff vomited.
***
A young woman's foot was torn off in an accident. The wound does not heal and does not heal. Wound surface like boiled meat. There were no pressure chambers then. There is a minimum of funds against clostridial infection. Amputated above - the same thing. Have reached upper third hips. And then one nurse spied how the aunt secretly from everyone ... smears with her own feces wound surface. This is so that she continues to inject drugs - she herself admitted. And so she died.
* * *
Almost every shift is "sick" with garden thermometers, deodorant caps, bottles, glasses and a vantus handle in the ass ... People! What do you really do nah * d?
***
They opened up a post-injection abscess on the buttock of the grandmother. Everything was fine, she went every day for dressings, until other grannies in line advised her to expose the wound to flies ... They will lay eggs there, maggots will start and clean the wound (this was done in the old days, and a wound of any purulence healed in 2 days like) .
And she set it up. I don’t know how this happened, but after 3 days, a granny comes with a full ass of worms! Chervyachkov started, but she couldn’t wait until they “cleaned” the wound.
* * *
Fucking parents wouldn't call their six month old baby with high temperature 39,3 ambulance, did not give anything from the temperature.
Parents:
– We didn’t give him anything, but he should develop ANTIBODIES on his own.
As a result, against the background of 41.3, convulsions began.
The child was not saved.
* * *
Challenge - "gives birth".
There are no births at all. I drank a bottle of vodka at the 7th month.
It turns out that the husband was offended that she did not leave him, called an ambulance to be taken to the hospital.
* * *
He treated an alcoholic patient with a perforated ulcer, cured, stabilized, sent him home at 16.00, and at 23.30 he was brought back.
Celebrated with friends an extract from the hospital, being in a state of strong alcohol intoxication fell out of the window of the 5th floor onto the asphalt.
***
From neonatal resuscitation:
A girl, gestational age 30 weeks, Down, Fallot's tetralogy, VUI, in short, a full bouquet ... Mother, 16 years old, disheveled, downtrodden, clearly not understanding the tragedy of the situation. Her mother is in her 30s, of which 20 she definitely does not part with a bottle and a cigarette. Naturally, there is no father ... They came to find out why the child was taken away and not given back. They are trying to explain about prematurity, about genetic diseases, severe vices ... Literally on the fingers, drawing on a piece of paper ... To the question "Why can this be?" they receive a very reasonable answer that, they say, it was necessary to behave normally and a lot depends on the partner, and that the pregnancy should have been observed, tests should have been taken, and a doctor had to go. Guess what claim these redneck-style women threw to the doctor?
- What are you talking about here? You yourself infect children here with these GENETIC sores of yours, and then we are also to blame? What are we going to do with her now? Did you, when she was giving birth, didn’t you see that the child was somehow not like that? They couldn’t push her back somehow, maybe she would have sat in her belly, she would have been normal !!! And you just don’t feel like messing around here ...
* * *
Evening, a call for an "urgent" - the grandmother moved the horses. We must come and ascertain death.
We arrived, in the apartment of the deceased, about 7 old women gathered near the bed with the deceased. The deceased herself is a natural corpse, even without feeling the pulse. The mouth is open, the body is clearly visible cadaveric spots. Nearby is a crowd of old women, grandmothers are singing something ...
There is nothing to do, we fill out the call card: death came then, there is no pulse, the pupils do not react to light, cadaveric spots ...
Having filled out the call card, the paramedic, before leaving, gave grandmothers valuable advice:
- Grandmothers! You tie up her mouth, and in the morning start washing ...
We left, everything is calm. And so, in the morning, the dispatcher calls their "board":
- Forty-six, did you go to the deceased? There, the old women call, they are interested in whether it is possible to untie the grandmother's mouth, otherwise the grandmother woke up, she demands tea!
***
I happened to see the most vicious method of contraception on a call about 10 years ago.
Upon arrival at the address, a girl was found lying half in bloody foam. There was a bed in it, everything under the bed and another part of the room. It turned out that for emergency contraception the girl poured more bleaching powder into washing machine"Baby", launched it, and inserted the drain hose into her vagina. Outcome - extensive chemical burn, state of shock, massive blood loss. They took her to the hospital and didn't hear anything about her.
* * *
A man in his 40s was brought to us from the pre-trial detention center, a bunch of boys with machine guns, accompanied by 10 people. We were crazy about so many people in uniform.
It turned out that this man decapitated a man, carried his head with him in a bag for 4 days and raped him for the same 4 days, but they brought him with deep cut neck.
I wanted to cut this freak, but I'm a doctor.
* * *
I work in an ambulance. Once a call came from a man that his girlfriend was ill, the reason is unknown. Arriving at the place - a girl was found in bed ... Dead for at least 3 days, all green and swollen already.
The man, of course, is heavily intoxicated.
Although on the third day I noticed that for some reason the girl did not get up ...
One bedroom apartment, one bed…
***
Woman, 54 years old. In a state of mild alcohol intoxication, she stepped on an ELECTRIC stove!
Burn.
She put her foot on the snow ... Cool ... Frostbite.
Decided to be treated: rubbed on a grater laundry soap(dark, with chlorine) + ammonia (you write it down, write it down, the remedy is right) - soared the leg. After a neighbor advised a panacea - URINE. But not just urine, but carefully boiled. To a thick greenish mass (urine of a neighbor's boy).
The result - after 5-6 days, she turned to the burn department.
Amputation of 2 toes...
* * *
In the new year, exactly at half past 12 on the night of December 31, a young lady is brought to us in Urgentka. Well, like a young lady ... Such a sweet girl, 37 years old ... And we, to be honest, alcohol with a martini is already a bit of that ... And here is a young lady. Such a sweetheart ... WITH Zucchini IN THE ANOUS! With a fucking BIG zucchini in the anus.
* * *
We went to the call - unconscious. A 63-year-old woman, stroke, coma. According to relatives, the left side of the body began to be taken away three days ago, the next day her speech was disturbed, and today the patient fell into a coma, after which an ambulance was called. We helped, found porters, and from the third floor of the five-story building they carried us to the car, of course, feet down. The woman died in intensive care two days later. Relatives wrote a complaint that she died because the ambulance carried her forward with her feet.
* * *
I work as an emergency doctor.
A call comes with a reason foreign body vagina."
I’m coming to the address, a woman of good appearance, 45 years old, opened it and immediately began to lament, supposedly she was uncomfortable for such a case, in short, she told me her problem, from which I fell into a stupor for a few seconds.
He asked if she was registered in a psychiatric dispensary - she denied and blushed even more ...
They rented this apartment with a lover for a day. The lover, having drunk a lot about their anniversary of their meetings, wanted something new in sex and, waving a stoper of vodka, put it on the end and put it in there for her.
Well, she thought, “OK, then I’ll pull it out” ... But she couldn’t, and so she slept all night with a glass in her vagina.
At 7 in the morning he left for work and until 11 she tried to remove the object from the vagina, but again unsuccessfully, and then she went to the ambulance.
After listening to all this, I uttered a long one: “Yesaaaa ...” and invited her to go with me to gynecological department, to which she screamed that she couldn’t (“I live next to the hospital, then they will laugh!”) and her husband, who is now sitting at home with the children, recognizes her.
She said, "Pull it out yourself."
I also came to more shock and said that this was not the king's business.
She said, "If not, then my family will be gone."
In short, he agreed and pulled out a glass.
Such a perversion happens in the Balzac age. She thanked me 3000 r. Yeah, if only my husband knew about it...
* * *
A 1.5-year-old boy was admitted to pediatric surgery, to whom his mother ... if you can call it that, “bandaged” reproductive organ at night, so as not to pee in bed, and in the morning she unexpectedly, according to her: “woke up from the cry of her son,” who, as she noticed and “boasted” to us, slept on a dry bed that night.
And in the morning she suddenly saw a swollen scrotum “almost the size of a child’s head”, she untied the lace, but for some reason it did not decrease and she decided to call an ambulance.
And this lady is a worker kindergarten!!!
* * *
Three o'clock in the morning, department of proctology. IN sweet Dreams a call comes in from the receiver. Only obscure grunts and sobs are heard in the receiver. Quietly swearing, the doctor hangs up and goes to finish his dreams. After 10 minutes, another call and a strangled: "Go down for a consultation." In the waiting room, hysteria and tears. The nurses and doctors.
They brought in an ambulance to a man who can hardly be called a man. With a hamster in the anus. With a DEAD hamster in the anus. With a BURNED dead hamster in the anus.
It turns out that the men wanted to experiment, since time allowed (and what, three in the morning is the time!), And the amount of alcohol in the blood too. They expanded one anus (I don’t know how, they have their own secrets there) and put the unfortunate animal in there. Type to look: it will fit - it won't fit. The hamster, to his misfortune, fit. And then the man’s reflexes worked (I don’t know, maybe he has a sneeze reflex and works in the ass!). He wanted to let off steam (gas, what's the difference!). But! The drunken brain, apparently, was not completely drunk, since it was decided to check what size of the gas jet would come out of the expanded hole? Yes, yes, check with a lighter. Checked. The poor animal had nowhere to go, and the hamster died a heroic death. And the man is in the department, yes. To extract the remains of a hamster. Probably decided to bury as a hero.
And put a monument to the victim of the experiment.
* * *
The doctor of one of the surgical departments told.
He was on duty somehow at the reception and then they call him, but what exactly the emergency room nurse categorically refused to say. So, he comes to the receiver and observes a 70-year-old grandmother and grandfather linked orally-genitally. As it turned out, the grandmother decided to give her grandfather a blowjob, but she didn’t remove her false jaw, so it got stuck on her grandfather’s penis. They brought them in an ambulance, just like that, they unhooked them in the emergency room. Grandmother was sent home, and grandfather was sent to urology, his penis was painfully swollen after such a passionate embrace.
Moral: open your jaw before oral sex.
* * *
For 20 years he worked as an anesthesiologist in oncology, he saw all sorts of “Malakhovsky neglected”.
A man was admitted with decaying skin cancer of the scalp measuring 17 by 19 cm with germination in the skull bones, well, the stink of the whole dispensary. Raised for 7 years - treated with urine and kerosene. To the question:
“Why did you come to us now?”
Answer:
Yes, I can't wear a hat.
* * *
There was a call to the pregnant woman about the rise in temperature.
It turned out: a 35-year-old girl, pregnancy 2nd, gestational age 39 weeks, temperature 40.2. Musty smell throughout the apartment. For a week now, he has not noticed the movement of the fetus. From hospitalization, with my and her parents' categorical insistence, intimidation about her future outcome, she refused, wrote a receipt.
* * *
They give a reason: “4 people in a coma”, they send 4 teams, policemen, we arrive ... A schizophrenic wrapped four dolls in diapers and yells that they are unconscious!
* * *
In my practice, there were two cases when mother and grandmother treated diabetes with urine therapy for teenagers. The poor kids drank their OWN urine. They could not help one in ketoacidosis.
We have prepared a selection dedicated to ambulance in which we have collected the most interesting stories our doctors and paramedics about the cases and reasons for the calls that happened to them during their duty.
In fact, in 99% of cases, the reason for the call that comes to the control room is fundamentally different from true reason calling the patient. So that you understand what in question, we provide several examples of real medical stories.
Or maybe it's a heart attack?
The original reason for the call was “Bad guy”, but in reality it was like this:
The door is open. We go with the paramedic to the apartment. We hear the broadcast of a football match and see a guy weighing under 150 kg, under the age of 30, who, like a “zombie”, is watching a football match. At the same time, he greedily eats the remains of chips that remained at the bottom of a huge pack. He sees that we are coming in and says in a friendly voice:
“Come in, don’t be shy, wait a bit, now the most interesting show is on.”
The paramedic and I looked at each other. I took the remote and turned off the TV, after which I heard a splash negative emotions to your side. After a minute, the guy calmed down and said that he was worried about his health. He said that he was so nervous while watching a football match and now wants to make sure that he did not have a heart attack.
“Doctor, check if it’s a heart attack? I really don’t know what the symptoms are with this heart attack, but I heard that it arises from nerves. Anything can happen!”
For you to understand, he communicated with us as if the ambulance only does what it comes to everyone who has something pricked and checks if he has a heart attack?
We made him a cardiogram, I conducted a detailed examination, etc. Of course, he did not have any heart attack, as well as conscience. I just can’t understand one thing, either 90% of patients deliberately mock doctors, or is their intelligence exponentially approaching zero every day? Dear colleagues, what do you think about this?
Candles for health
The initial reason for the call was “Bad for a child”, but in reality it was like this:
We are coming to the challenge. We are met in the yard by a frightened mother and says that the 2nd day cannot bring down the child's temperature. We go into the apartment and see a 5-year-old baby, exhausted, with obvious signs of dehydration. I ask what worries the baby besides the temperature and for how long.
The mother replies: “Yes, for the second day she has diarrhea 5 times a day and vomiting and fever.”
I'm asking: - “Some medications were taken.”
She answers: - “No, I just put candles.”
I'm asking: - “What kind of candles does she have diarrhea?”
Mother: - “So I… put candles for health in three churches.”
After these words, I realized that it was useless to talk to this person. Said to dress the baby as she needs urgent hospitalization. For you to understand, mother argued with me for a long time and said that we had to wait, since apparently the service had not yet begun and the candles had not worked.
It wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't so sad. I have nothing against the church, prayers, etc., but as they say: "Trust in God, but don't make a mistake yourself." After all, this is the life of a child, how can you be so irresponsible.
Unfortunately, the absurd ideas of self-treatment that our patients invent never cease to amaze me.
About gratitude to the doctor
The original reason for the call was “Bad to Grandma”, but in reality it was like this:
I'll start with the most interesting. We are going to leave after we have helped the patient, but suddenly the patient's relatives stop us and say:
“Doctor, wait a minute, we want to thank you.”
Well, who in our time will refuse gratitude? We stand and wait. We wait a minute, two, three, and we hear that relatives are very fussy, packages are rustling, boxes are creaking, in general, they are clearly looking for something. As we do so, we hear them talking:
-“That one I only have everything for 500, and I have 200, that one, let’s have what we have .... Oh, I found it, I found it, go give it to the doctor.”
A boy runs up to me and puts banknotes twisted and tied with a rubber band into his pocket into a tube. I was thrown into a fever from surprise. We leave the entrance with the paramedic, and I say to my paramedic:
- “Well, Tanya, we probably have a good day today!”
I take out this gratitude, and the evening is poorly visible, I unwind it, illuminate it with a flashlight, and I can’t stop my hysterical laughter from the spectacle I see.
What do you think was there? Don't you guess? 20 gr. 1 hryvnia twisted into a tube. This is probably pre-prepared.
Honestly, we laughed with the paramedic for a long time, because there is no way without humor in our work.
To be continued….
