Inner critic: who is he and how to recognize him? My inner critic, Psychology - Gestalt Club.

The emergence of the inner critic occurs in childhood. A child, exploring the world and his capabilities, is faced with the expectations of society and the discontent of others when he does not live up to these expectations.

When raising children, adults are guided by a certain set of rules of behavior that they adopted from their parents. And as soon as a child breaks these rules, he is scolded, criticized, shown his dissatisfaction, deprived of encouragement, put in a corner, thus demonstrating that actions outside the rules are punishable. As a result small man gains experience: everything that is not included in the “correct” category is fraught with trouble.

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In order to prevent further painful experiences from punishment for “wrong” actions, a protective intrapsychic mechanism is developed that inhibits human activity. This is self-criticism, or the inner critic. Since the child absorbs everything that comes from outside, his critical voice speaks in words and intonations significant people: parents, educators, teachers.

“Shameless, arrogant idiot! You are nothing of yourself!” - a young woman hears her father’s words in her head in situations where she needs to defend her point of view or express her desires. These phrases have been etched into her memory since childhood and emerge against her will, depriving her of strength and self-confidence. These thoughts make her hands and feet cold, her throat constricts, her body turns to stone, like in childhood, and she can’t do anything about it.

A person who was criticized, condemned, and punished a lot in childhood has a lot of doubts about his abilities, skills, usefulness, and dignity. His inner critic is strong and active. He stands guard so that a person does not get into trouble, so that his actions do not again turn out to be wrong. Often this subpersonality deprives us of the ability to do anything at all.

No actions - no mistakes, which means there will be no punishment.

How does the inner critic manifest itself?

An exercise to help you deal with your inner critic

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Methodology

An active inner critic can ruin your life. While you evaluate your actions with the help of this subpersonality, you continue to look at yourself through the eyes of significant adults from childhood. One of the ways to get out of the influence of the inner critic is to learn to evaluate your actions yourself, based on your current capabilities and lifestyle.

I offer you one exercise that will help you cope with this task. It reduces the activity of the inner critic and helps improve self-esteem. Do it at the end of the day.

Keep a separate notebook. Divide a sheet of paper in half with a vertical line. On the left, write down in a column all the complaints that you have against yourself today. Put down your notebook. Drink tea, mind your business or take a walk. And after 15–30 minutes, write opposite each negative statement what advantages you received as a result of this situation.

Important points

1. Write down complaints not for your entire life, but only for today: what you didn’t do that day, didn’t finish, did wrong. Start dealing with your critic little by little, otherwise you will not be able to cope with the number of complaints against yourself.

2. You need to write until you feel that you have nothing more to say. Let your critical voice speak out, and you may learn useful things for yourself.

3. A feature of the internal critic is a generalization, which manifests itself in phrases such as “Everything is bad”, “Nothing worked out”, “As always”, “A complete fool”, “A terrible cretin”. Therefore, if you want to write something similar in the left column, clarify what your mistake was, what you were bad at. With this detailed description emotional charge decreases. There is an opportunity to see what you have achieved.

4. If you have nothing to object to the claim of the internal critic, then agree with him. After all, he is often right. But add something that could compensate for your mistake.

This exercise is already in two weeks daily practice gives positive result. Instead of endless internal reproaches, you will be able to notice your successes and rejoice at them. And if something doesn’t work out for you, then you should seek help from a psychologist.

— You're a loser.

— It's all his own fault.

— You won't succeed.

— You won't succeed...

Have you heard similar phrases in your head? Then let us greet His Majesty - Inner Critic. He constantly judges, accuses, scolds and constantly repeats that we are not good enough. The inner critic is in an evaluative and accusatory position, thereby hanging its labels on us. And his words do not pass unnoticed; everything we say to ourselves affects our thinking and behavior.

Internal criticism paralyzes, reduces self-esteem, prevents the achievement of goals, and forms attitudes and limiting beliefs. It increases anxiety, provokes negative feelings and can lead not only to emotional problems, but also to physical illnesses. When feelings do not find a way out, when they accumulate in us, they begin to affect the body, thereby causing various psychosomatic symptoms.

Where did the inner critic come from?

Many people are sure that the inner critic is their own voice, that it has always been with them. But that's not true. We are not born with an inner critic, we acquire it over the course of our lives. In childhood, while we were unable to evaluate ourselves, this function was performed for us by our parents or other significant adults. Depending on how they did it: what they said, how they said it, with what intonation, facial expressions, gestures - an inner critic began to emerge and develop in the child. It turns out that at a conscious age we often criticize ourselves with the words that adults once told us. That’s why so much attention is now being paid to the topic of communication with children.

An adult can already evaluate and control himself. And it seems that these functions should guide him, stimulate him to the “correct” actions. But in the end it turns out that instead healthy control a person begins to limit himself in everything, displacing any degree of internal freedom. And instead of an adequate assessment comes the most severe criticism and self-flagellation. As a result, we see a person who does not have a high level of self-acceptance and adequate self-esteem, but a person with unstable personal boundaries and unstable self-esteem. Such a person is vulnerable because he pain points not protected, he experiences failures hard and desperately craves praise. He is dependent on the opinions of others and strives to make sure that they pat him on the head and say the cherished phrase - "Well done".

Can an inner critic motivate you to achieve your goals?

One would think that a critic would have positive sides- it doesn’t allow you to sit still, gives you strength and generally forces you to do at least something. However, we are not driven by internal criticism, we are driven by desire. If it's not a whim, but true desire, then it always gives birth to energy. While criticism only takes away strength and deprives motivation. When a person is burning with the fulfillment of a desire, he knows what his first step will be. Desire is always action. And criticism “kills” all impulses in us, demotivates and destroys. Understanding your successes and achievements rather than focusing on your mistakes helps you stay motivated. Internal dialogue in a positive way is always much more effective than self-criticism. When you choose self-flagellation, it turns out that you are choosing punishment instead of reward. Punishment can discourage you from doing anything. Remember yourself as a child or look at your child. What motivates him, what inspires him - your words in the form of reproaches or your words in the form of support?

The inner critic not only takes away energy and deprives you of resources, it changes your understanding of your strengths and capabilities. Moreover, he distorts his own self-perception. I recommend reading Karen Pryor's book "Don't Growl at the Dog!" — many answers are given there regarding issues of punishment and reward.

Don't forget that our thoughts are connected to our body. Thought is always primary. First we think about something, then a response occurs within us, and feelings appear. If a thought is negative, then it triggers a lot destructive feelings which have a destructive effect. Our thoughts can change hormonal background, that leads to feeling unwell And various diseases. Be careful what you think and what you say to yourself.

How to deal with your inner critic?

1. Catch and recognize the critic.

Often the inner critic speaks to you automatically, and you may not notice the rapidly changing negative phrases. At the same time, you simply feel that your well-being and emotional condition worsened. It is important to begin to consciously approach the moments when a critic is talking to you. To do this, you need to keep a notebook where you will write down your thoughts about the appearance of a critic. I recommend using pen and paper, but you can also take notes on your phone or computer.

• The first thing that needs to be recorded is moments when the inner critic appears.

Write down under what circumstances the critic begins to actively manifest itself. What event preceded his appearance? These are your pain points that will need to be strengthened. Often a critic can appear when you are in a non-resource state - you have Bad mood, you feel unwell, overtired, etc. Or when you have failed or received negative feedback. Or it may appear when you have completed the work you started, but instead of joy you feel devastation, and it is at this moment that the critic begins his monologue. When you write down these situations, you will know them by sight. And next time you will be able to recognize the events, record the words of the critic and realize that it is not true. What the critic says is not the truth, he only presses on sore spots, and now you can prevent this from happening.

• The second thing to write down is: words of the inner critic. What is he telling you? Whose voice?

A critic usually uses a set of specific phrases. It would be good to know these phrases - they will become a guide for you that the critic has become more active.

Try to hear whose voice these phrases sound in your head. Most often this is the voice of your loved ones - parents or people significant to you. For example, this could be a person from the past with whom you were involved important events, but it could also be people from your current environment. When you understand whose voice is “speaking,” you can accept the fact that these are just another person’s words—not yours. You don't think of yourself that way. And plus, you will have the opportunity to close for yourself the exciting situation associated with this person. If he is in the field of your life, then you can talk to him, tell him about your feelings and close the gestalt. This will be the stage of your liberation.

• Third - Once you recognize the critic's words, ask yourself the following questions:

When you come to the understanding that internal criticism does not help you in any way, that it does not stimulate or motivate you, you will have the opportunity to refuse it. And ask yourself one more question:

— If I could tell myself words that would help me and that would inspire me, what would they be?

And be sure to write down these words, and return to them when you feel that the critic is starting to take over.

• Fourth - record your feelings at the moment the critic appears.

When you focus on your feelings, you begin to better understand yourself and your emotional reactions. Reflecting feelings on paper is not just about identifying them, it is about reacting to them to some extent. Make an analysis for each situation, what feelings arise in you, and what behavior do they provoke?

You can get upset and close yourself off from everyone, run away from the problem, or you can get very angry and go prove your strength and rightness. You may find that you choose the same strategies and behaviors when you feel certain feelings. Analyze them in terms of effectiveness for you. If your behavior is not working for you, and you realize this, then when next situation you can break this habitual pattern and act differently.

1. Move away from the critic.

When you understand and accept that the inner critic is not you or your true thoughts about yourself, when you realize that it is an outside voice, then you can cope with it. In order to further distance the critic from yourself, come up with a name for him. Just don’t call him Masha, Petya, Vova - come up with some funny or ridiculous nickname. Once you separate the critic from your personality, you are freed from his influence.

Then write yourself a letter on his behalf. Immerse yourself in the role of a critic, feel him and write down what he wants from you, why he came, what he expects. Try to imagine how he thinks, how he puts his ideas into words.

A critic may tell you in a letter that he cares about you, trying to protect you from adversity and disappointment. And his mission may have good intentions - be sure to thank him for that. After this, write in response to the letter that you are grateful to him, but at the same time you can cope with mistakes and failures on your own. Explain that you are a strong lynch and do not want to put life off until later because of fears and concerns. Each of you will have your own letter and your own answer. Do this practice and you will immediately feel relief and see the effect of such internal work.

1. Find an ally.

To weaken the influence of a critic, you need to cultivate in yourself inner voice who will notice all your merits and successes, who will concentrate not on the bad, but on the good. You need to find an ally in yourself. And these will already be real thoughts and words that have an impact positive effect on your emotional state, well-being and behavior. Learn to notice strengths, pay attention to what you did well and what you could add next time to make it even better. Keep yourself a Success Diary and write down all your achievements for the day. And remember that there are no small victories, and every victory is yours, and it is important.

Whether you concentrate on positive or negative aspects, whether you apply punishment or reward to yourself - depending on this, you set yourself up and program yourself. When you constantly tell yourself “I’m a loser,” your brain triggers this program. You will only notice your failures, and your thoughts will always be focused only on the mistakes that you will make more and more. At the same time, any achievements and successes will fall out of sight. Your task is to destroy negative attitude and replace it with a positive one. Noticing your skills and victories, you will gain more and more self-confidence, you will have more energy, and you will have the strength to realize your plans. And you will understand that the inner critic was mistaken about you.

Are you familiar with this situation when you want to take some new action, launch a new interesting project, but someone inside tells you: “ But maybe nothing will work out, what if they laugh at me, what if nothing comes of it..." In fact, you have not yet performed the action, but have already thought about what bad things might happen to you after the action occurs. This is your “inner critic”.

Unfortunately, “he” too often prevents us from achieving goals and starting new interesting things. We understand that if we start doing something, there is a high probability that it will lead to some desired results and new pleasures. And the inner critic tells us - let’s better not even try, in case nothing happens.

Get a three-step algorithm of action to defeat him.

First– understand that the inner critic is not you, second– accept his presence, third- come to an agreement with him.

The most important - acknowledge the fact that the inner critic is not you. This is the so-called “psychological superstructure”. Where did it come from? When we were all little, we had parents who tried to protect and protect us. They protected us from all sorts of problems and troubles from the outside world. You have grown up, but there remains a subconscious desire to protect yourself from negativity. And this desire transformed into an internal critic. In fact, the inner critic is your preventive defense against external criticism, from negative impact external environment on you. I’d rather scold myself now than others later. BUT IT'S NOT YOU CRITICIZING YOURSELF.

Next, you need to completely calmly accept its existence. There is and is, and by the way, it also protects you in its own way. If you say " you don't exist, you're nobody and you don't understand anything at all", then in fact this is a struggle against yourself, which does not bode well for you, because it's really part of your energy. And fighting your energy is simply stupid and destructive. It is much easier and more profitable to negotiate.

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After this, I recommend “telling” the inner critic: Thank you very much for protecting me and worrying about my safety, but I am already an adult and can take responsibility for myself. It's time for you to retire. From now on, I take 100% responsibility for myself and our safety.” That is conclude an agreement about transferring responsibility to yourself.

There are even more effective method work, which was suggested to me by people specializing in NLP. This method increases the effectiveness of the technique by 5 times, and will help further strengthen this agreement with the internal critic.

If you want to achieve maximum effect, then take a piece of paper and a pen and we will sign an agreement with the internal critic. When we write something, we trigger additional hidden mechanisms of the conscious and subconscious. After all, even in ancient times they said that what is not written does not exist.

Now we take a piece of paper and write on it - “ I…..full name….from today…date…I undertake to bear responsibility both for myself and for my inner critic. I guarantee safety for both myself and my inner critic." We put a signature and date. You can even mentally build a house for him by the seashore and settle him there)).

From now on, you are the masters of your life, and, every time you start, if your inner critic says “wait,” then you will answer “ we signed an agreement in which I took 100% responsibility for doing this, and you went on vacation».

The maximum program is to hang the sheet in a visible place and re-read it regularly to further strengthen the work of this program.

I want to write about the internal critic (IC) - what it is, where it came from and how to deal with it. Everyone I know - clients, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and even my 85-year-old grandmother - complains about this type of internal discomfort. I assume that many of you have also encountered VK. It appears when you are busy doing something - it says that you are doing it badly, incorrectly, crookedly. Or generally denies the meaning of what you are doing - it’s useless, they say, there’s no need. Or it gives out bad forecasts - nothing will work out anyway. Or he starts comparing you with someone - well, colleague X. is still doing better. Maybe he’s trying to hurry up - let’s hurry up, you have a million other things to do, there’s no time to tinker.

The inner critic can say a lot of unpleasant things, causing unpleasant emotions and preventing you from concentrating. And sometimes it is easier to do nothing at all, but to procrastinate - internal criticism makes any activity unbearable. Of course, this is not some kind of voice separate from your Self (although this also happens with psychosis) - it’s all you yourself think. But these are thoughts that cannot be turned off voluntarily - they arise automatically, along the way.

What kind of inner critic is this? I'll give my definition. VC is a metaphor for the controlling part of the psyche. She is responsible for ensuring that the results of our actions meet the criteria and goals. This is the part of the psyche that gives feedback at all stages of action - starting with goal setting and planning. It evaluates the quality of the action and intermediate results. Predicts acceptability final result. Already evaluates finished result. This is such an internal acceptance, quality control department.

It turns out that VK is extremely useful and necessary - without it we would do a lot of all sorts of nonsense, what is there. And we also get an annoying paradox - VK should help us do our things well and meaningfully, but for some reason it often gets in the way.

Why does VK interfere and not help as it should? It's all about the style of his work. In HOW he carries out his important functions. If he angrily mumbles under his arm, painfully criticizes, devalues, then this is an authoritarian-sadistic style of control. It contributes little to this very efficiency. The Authoritarian VC is the part of your personality that is VERY concerned about the meaning and quality of what you do. She is so worried that she will no longer help you to do things calmly. What is she doing?

Most areas in psychology recognize: we learn to voluntarily control our actions and internal processes in relationships with significant adults, in early childhood. We also learn internal criticism from significant adults. Small child does not yet know how to control the effectiveness of his actions. This control for the child is exercised by an adult, and the child gradually appropriates this action to himself. External control is internalized and becomes internal function. Figuratively speaking, a copy of the parent/educator appears inside the child - an introject, which then remains with him for the rest of his life.

Introject is, of course, not exact copy teacher, but distorted, because the child’s psyche is not a high-precision scanner. Therefore, the adult we capture in childhood can be much more monstrous than in reality. And the VC can turn out to be monstrous - anxious, irritated, impatient - the parent/educator experiences many different emotions when interacting with an inexperienced creature who makes many mistakes and spends a lot of time on basic actions. And it’s not a fact that he knows how to control these emotions. Along with the action algorithm, the child also learns the emotions that the controller experienced.

In addition to emotions, the child also learns criteria for evaluating his actions. One of the most important is the attitude towards mistakes. Is an error a natural part of the process or something unacceptable, catastrophic? The style of work of the internal critic also depends on the attitude towards mistakes - he either gently points out the mistake to you, or furiously yells that you were mistaken, which means you will never succeed.

It can be assumed that during the execution of an action, our psyche seems to be divided (this is rather a metaphorical description of the process) - into the doing part and the controlling part. And they either cooperate or they conflict. If criticism comes from the controller, if she directs charges of irritation, anxiety, anger, then the doing part reacts accordingly. She feels confused, guilty, ashamed. And in response to these uncomfortable emotions, she also feels irritation, rage, anger and even hatred. That's what it is intrapersonal conflict- neurotic interaction between in different parts one person.

How to be? It all depends on the intensity of emotions. All this controversy with your own VC can be so irritating and restless that it is worth devoting special time to this emotional state, rather than trying to extinguish it and continue working.

1) Working with emotions. Feel your emotional state - focus your attention on it, pushing aside everything else a little internal processes. Identify the main emotions and name them. What is this? Irritation, anger, anger? Guilt, shame? Anxiety, fear, panic? No matter what part of the personality these emotions come from, they are yours. And like anyone physical process, they have a beginning, development and an end. So let them happen.

2) Working with the body. Emotions have a physiological component - muscle tension, first of all. You need to reset it - do some basic physical exercises, and then relax. It is also important to normalize your breathing - just focus on it and hold your attention for a couple of minutes.

3) Cognitive work. The VC is the troubled part of your psyche. She needs to be calmed down. Most likely, the critic is concerned that the level of performance does not meet his high criteria. Perhaps this is due to frankly inflated criteria - VK requires that you do what you do perfectly. But every thing you do has specific life goals. And the criteria must correspond to the goal, and not to abstract ideas. And for the VK to calm down, the consciousness must accurately formulate the goal and criteria. Why are you doing this? What is the optimal level of performance? Is it enough to just make it as quickly as possible? Or does this really need to be done? top level? If it needs to be done perfectly, how can you help yourself? For example, allocate more time, calm down, tune in to a long process. What really needs to be done in this matter, and what should be discarded as unnecessary formalities? The main thing here is to make the task easier for yourself.

4) Allow yourself to make mistakes.

The topic of the inner critic is very close to me, and almost all the people who surround me are affected by it to one degree or another.

I remember a joke:

A client comes to see a psychotherapist and says:
- You know, doctor, there’s a little man living in my head who swears all the time. Is this treatable?
“Yes, it’s being treated,” the doctor answers.
- How much does it cost? - asks the client.
“1000 dollars,” the doctor answers.
- Do you know what the little man said just now?

So who is this little man of ours, whose task is to constantly point out our imperfections? Quite a lot of people believe that if there is no internal critic, they will turn into a person who does nothing (let’s remove the “person” from here, because it repeats itself), a person who does not strive for anything. What is a critic? internal engine. From my point of view, this is not at all useless, but even, I would say, very bad habit treat yourself that way.

Why, you ask?

Okay, answer the question - how often do you do the things you criticize yourself for? Or even differently. Have you noticed that the reasons for criticism are different every day, but the meaning is the same - to internally humiliate yourself?

What is the difference between the inner critic and the inner teacher?

To activate your inner teacher, there is only one question to ask yourself: what can I do to make me feel better?

And here are the comments of the inner critic: look at how well others perform, but you can’t even put together a few words, look at how others look, and you..., look at yourself - you doubt yourself all the time, etc.

The same phrases, but from the position of an internal teacher, one could say this: yes, while I cannot speak as beautifully as another person, but I will learn; At first I was able to say two words calmly, then the whole sentence. I will learn ways to cope with anxiety and strive to use them to help myself. I will support myself in my endeavors, I will notice my advantages

This is called - feel the difference.

After all, the teacher believes in his student. So in this case, the inner teacher believes in you, helps you, supports you, teaches you...

An indicator of what is active in you now - a critic or a teacher - is your own well-being. If you feel disgusting, ask why you ruined your mood?!

Where does the habit of criticizing yourself come from? Of course, as you know, everything starts in childhood, either our parents were critical of us, or other people important to us somehow responded not very flatteringly to us, etc. And this habit turned into adult life. I repeat once again - this is a habit: once created, the neural networks in the brain are strengthened by repeated repetition.

This habit needs to be eradicated. It prevents us not only from simply living, but we often do not see anything at all that could be changed. After all, the new implies mistakes and miscalculations, and we know that if we make a mistake, we will immediately torment our souls with torture in the form of merciless criticism. That's why we are not doing anything new. And what’s interesting is that sometimes a person doesn’t even see opportunities, as if they don’t exist. This is how our consciousness actually saves us from ourselves.

This is described very well in K. Horney’s “Neurosis and Personal Growth”:

“In examining these avoidances, we see the operation of two principles that determine their character.

The first is security through limiting life. It is safer to refuse, to leave, to reject, than to risk your pride. Perhaps nothing demonstrates in such an impressive way how strong pride can be than the willingness to limit one's life to the point of squalor.

The second principle is that it is safer not to try than to try and fail. This aphorism gives avoidance the stamp of finality, because it deprives a person of even the chance to gradually overcome his difficulties, whatever they may be. It is unrealistic, even based on neurotic prejudices, because it has to be paid for not only at the cost of unnecessary restrictions in life, but in the long run the avoidances themselves will bring the deepest damage to pride. But the neurotic, of course, does not think about the future. He is concerned with the immediate danger of error and condemnation. If he doesn't try, it won't affect him. He will be able to find an excuse. At least he will reassure himself with the thought that if he tried, he could pass the exams, find better job, to win a woman.

In many cases, avoidances extend to our desires: in other words, they can include our desires. I mentioned people who consider it a shameful defeat not to get what they want. The desire itself then becomes too much great risk. However, such a curb on desires means a sharp limitation of our lives...”

People who are dissatisfied with themselves take criticism from others very painfully. For them, it’s like a knife to the heart: after all, they are always under their own oppression and add more from the outside. I have a friend who had a trial 15-minute performance in front of people, then everyone gave feedback, about 10 people said that they really liked it, and 2 people made some comments. Talking to me after that, she talked only about comments. I tried to tell her that a lot of people praised her, but she didn’t remember it. She only remembered the criticism. More precisely, she rephrased all the good things that were said as follows: they didn’t want to tell me the truth out of pity.

This is how our brain is selective in what we see or hear from others.

Creativity and criticality are practically incompatible things. Namely: where criticism begins, everything ends: creativity, freedom and spontaneity.

1. Observe yourself during the day, during the week. What time is it in your inner world does criticism occupy? Look how the reasons for self-flagellation change.

2. If you think that after all a critic is driving force, then it can be defined as follows:

If, after you scolded yourself for something, you immediately went to change the situation - read a book, practiced speaking, wrote or did something - then yes, and if it remained at the level of dialogue - know that you are doing flushing your own energy down the toilet. By the way, you don’t have enough of this same energy to start something new...

3. Remove derogatory words towards yourself from your vocabulary:

Well, again I can’t do anything; fool; hands do not grow from there; idiot, etc.

4. If those around you call you some diminutive words of endearment, for example, poor thing, etc. Ask them not to talk to you like that.

5. Criticizing yourself is a habit, but as you know, changing any habit takes time, patience and consistency.

6. Activate your inner teacher by asking: What can I do to feel better?

7. You can even imagine the image of a little evil man to whom you say: he came to spoil my mood again, goodbye.

At one time I came across Paulo Coelho’s book “The Diary of a Magician”, where he gives an exercise on how to stop criticizing yourself:

“The only way to save our dreams is to be generous with ourselves. The slightest attempt at self-flagellation must be strictly suppressed! And in order to feel that we are cruel to ourselves, every attempt to experience mental suffering - guilt, shame, indecision - must be turned into physical pain. Transforming heartache into the physical, we thereby get the opportunity to see what harm it causes us.

Exercise “Cruelty”:

Every time something comes into your head that makes you feel bad about yourself, do this: stick your nail in index finger at the base of the large nail and press until you feel severe pain. Focus on it: it will be the physical equivalent of your mental suffering. Stop doing the exercise only when the thoughts that tormented you disappear.

Repeat this as many times as necessary until such thoughts leave you completely (even if this means pressing again and again). Over time, painful thoughts will come less and less often and will eventually disappear completely.”

The most important thing is to realize that without an inner critic, new opportunities in life will open up for you, you will gain the inner freedom you dream of. You will be your own friend, teacher and helper. And stop looking for it in others. We all strive to be self-sufficient individuals. And this is only possible when we use inner strength not for evil, but for your own good.