Internal conflicts. Intrapersonal conflict

A person communicates not only with other people, but also with himself. Absolutely all people talk to themselves. This happens by thinking about some idea, imagining a conversation in which two opponents participate, discussing a topic that has strongly affected, etc. The occurrence of intrapersonal conflict is a completely normal consequence, which can be of various types. The concept and reasons reveal this phenomenon more widely.

Intrapersonal conflict is characteristic of all people who have conflicting views, desires, ideas. Intrapersonal often occurs when a person wants one thing, and the world offers him something else or the people around him demand something else. This phenomenon happens to everyone, often creating serious problems.

What is intrapersonal conflict?

A person’s communication with himself is called intrapersonal. What is intrapersonal conflict? This is a contradiction that arises within a person as a result of such communication. This conflict is perceived by the individual as a serious problem that requires an immediate solution. If a person cannot resolve the situation or is not able to make a final decision, then the problem provokes various disorders and disorders in him. For example, a person may sleep poorly because of the need to think about their problem.

As a result of intrapersonal conflict, a person can go one of the following ways:

The problem will force him to develop himself. His forces are mobilized, because of which he will begin to take measures to improve the quality of his life.
The problem will slow him down, which will lead to a lack of self-knowledge and the development process.

An intrapersonal conflict is a collision of two or more equal in importance and opposite in direction needs, interests, desires, drives. In such a situation, a person experiences difficulty in making a decision, making a choice. If he takes one side, then he will lose all the benefits of the other side. A person understands this, therefore he is in doubt, hesitates, and cannot make a choice.

Depending on the significance of the topic that a person cannot solve, an intrapersonal conflict can lead to various troubles and even frustrations. While a person is in confrontation with himself, he develops various pathologies in himself at the physiological or psychological level. As soon as the problem is solved, the person is on the path to recovery and release from all side effects.

The concept of intrapersonal conflict

The concept of intrapersonal conflict implies a confrontation that arises within a person in connection with the consideration of two opposing or diverse ideas. A feature of intrapersonal conflict is that:

A person may not be aware of the presence of a conflict inside him, but on a subconscious level, he compensates for this either with activity.
There are no strangers with whom a person argues. A conflict arises in a person with himself.
Confrontation is accompanied by depression, fears, stress and other negative experiences.

Depending on how the personality is characterized, there are various causes and essences of intrapersonal conflict:

Freud considered this phenomenon as a confrontation between biological instincts and impulses and social foundations in which a person is forced to live. When inner desires do not agree with outer possibilities or social moral principles, then the person is stuck in conflict.
K. Levin defined intrapersonal conflict as the need for a person to live in conditions of simultaneously directed polar forces. Confrontation is a consequence of the equivalence of these forces.
K. Rogers considered intrapersonal conflict as a consequence of the discrepancy between self-image and understanding of the ideal "I".
A. Maslow considered this phenomenon as a consequence of the discrepancy between the desire to fulfill oneself and the results already achieved.
V. Merlin considered intrapersonal conflict as a consequence of dissatisfaction with personal relationships and motives.
F. Vasilyuk believed that intrapersonal conflict is a confrontation between two opposing and independent values.

Leontyev believed that intrapersonal conflict is a normal state of the psyche, since it is contradictory. A. Adler identified an inferiority complex, developed in childhood under the influence of an unfavorable environment, as the basis for the emergence of intrapersonal conflict.

E. Erikson believed that in each age period a person necessarily faces various contradictions, the successful or unsuccessful resolution of which programs his future destiny. Successful resolution allows you to move on to the next stage of development. Unsuccessful resolution leads to the emergence of complexes and foundations for the development of intrapersonal conflicts.

Causes of intrapersonal conflicts

Conventionally, the causes of intrapersonal conflicts are divided into 3 types:

The inconsistency itself. If a person has many desires, diverse views and values, then conflict cannot be avoided. Here are the following contradictions:

Between social norms and needs.
Contradiction between public duty and internal (religious) values.
Mismatch of needs, interests, desires.
The struggle between the social roles that a person must play in a specific period of time.

These contradictions must be significant for the individual and at the same time equivalent, otherwise a conflict will not arise, the person will choose what is most acceptable or less harmful to him.

A person's status in society.
The status of an individual in a specific group. Being in a certain group of people, a person is forced to coordinate his needs with the desires of the environment. Sometimes you have to “step on the throat of your own song” just to get approval for your actions from other people. The following confrontations are observed here:

External circumstances prevent you from satisfying your needs.
Lack of a partner who is needed to satisfy the need.
Physiological defects and pathologies that prevent a person from achieving a goal.
A society that hinders or limits a person.

A person must do the work, but he is not provided with the necessary tools. They give specific tasks, but the issue of fulfilling the plan is not discussed. A person must be an excellent worker, while devoting sufficient time to his family. Personal values and the rules proposed in the company often come into conflict.

There are many reasons for conflict within an individual, so absolutely all people experience this phenomenon.

Types of intrapersonal conflict

K. Levin proposed 4 main types of intrapersonal conflict:

Equivalent - there is a confrontation between two or more functions that a person must perform. The solution is compromise, partial fulfillment.
Vital – occurs when it is necessary to make equally wrong decisions.
- occurs when the actions and the result are equally liked or repelled.
Frustrating - occurs when accepted norms and foundations diverge, the result with the actions taken to achieve the goal, disapproval.

A person is faced with an intrapersonal conflict when prompted by two diverse motives. The moral background arises in a situation where a person is forced to measure his desires with social moral principles, his aspirations with duty.

A conflict based on unfulfilled desires occurs when a person has goals, but is faced with a reality that prevents him from doing so. Role conflict occurs when a person is forced to play several roles at the same time, as well as in a situation where the requirements for a person do not converge with his own ideas about this role or capabilities.

The conflict of inadequate self-esteem arises as a result of a discrepancy between one's own idea and an assessment of personal potential.

Resolving intrapersonal conflict

Adler persistently worked on resolving intrapersonal conflict, who initially determined that an inferiority complex provokes this phenomenon. Until the age of 5, the character of a person is formed, who is constantly exposed to various unfavorable social circumstances. Further, he only tries to compensate for his shortcomings in various ways.

Adler identified 2 ways to resolve intrapersonal conflict:

Development of social interest and feeling. Successful development allows you to adapt to society and build good relationships. Otherwise, alcoholism, drug addiction, and crime develop.
Stimulation of one's own potential:

adequate compensation.
Overcompensation is the development of one ability.
Imaginary compensation – certain factors compensate for an inferiority complex.

Resolution of intrapersonal conflict can occur in the following ways:

Open:

End of doubt.
Making decisions.
Concentration on solving the problem.

Hidden (latent):

Simulation, hysteria, torment.
Rationalization is self-justification through logical reasoning, which includes selective arguments.
Sublimation.
Idealization is abstraction, separation from reality.
Compensation is making up for what was lost with other goals and achievements.
Regression is avoidance of responsibility, return to primitive forms of existence.
Escape from reality - dreams.
Euphoria is a joyful state, feigned joy.
Nomadism is a change of place of residence or work.
Projection is the attribution of one’s own negative qualities to others.
Differentiation is the separation of thoughts from the author.

Consequences of intrapersonal conflict

Intrapersonal conflict influences how personality is further formed. The consequences can be both productive and destructive, depending on the decisions that are made by the individual.

Successful conflict resolution leads to self-knowledge, self-esteem and personal self-realization. A person rises above himself, develops, becomes stronger, improves his own life.

The negative consequences of intrapersonal conflict are neurotic disorders, crises, splitting of personality. The person becomes aggressive, irritable, anxious, restless. The professional ability of a person and the ability to establish contacts with others are violated.

If a person cannot cope with his own internal problems and gives them a central place in his life for a long time, then neurotic conflicts arise. A person changes under their influence.

Bottom line

Intrapersonal conflict is common to all people. A person does not live in "greenhouse" conditions, where he can not worry about anything, not worry, not face troubles. The result will depend personally on the person who sooner or later makes some decision after a long intrapersonal conflict.

Whatever decision a person makes, this is the path he will follow. And in the future, problems of a similar or different nature will arise again. A person will again make decisions that will affect his development and actions. This shapes his future, that is, the life he then lives.

Internal conflicts have been studied by a huge number of psychologists, including Sigmund Freud, who was the first to point out the essence of this state. It lies in constant tension associated with a huge number of contradictions around a person: social, cultural, inclinations, desires.

Types of intrapersonal conflicts

There are six main groups of internal conflicts that overtake each of us from time to time.

Motivational – a clash of different motives.
Moral is the clash of our desires and responsibilities. Very often it arises as a result of a discrepancy between our desires and the requirements of our parents or environment.
Unrealization or inferiority complex. This type of internal conflict occurs when your desires do not turn into reality. This often includes dissatisfaction with one's appearance or abilities.
Interrole conflict occurs when a person takes on two roles and cannot determine which of them is more acceptable to him. For example, a woman is a careerist or a mother.
An adaptation conflict arises if the requirements for the surrounding world do not correspond to the capabilities. Often found in the professional sphere.
Inadequate self-esteem arises as a result of discrepancies between one’s personal aspirations and the assessment of capabilities.

Causes of intrapersonal conflict

As we have already said, internal conflict is a normal human process that develops. In fact, this is the result of constant search for oneself, the struggle for a certain place in life. But if they are not addressed in time, they can lead a person into a complete existential vacuum, which is akin to a feeling of emptiness and abandonment. This condition can result in a serious disorder, which is characterized by the belief in the absolute absence of meaning in life.

Among the most common reasons: contradiction, different aspirations, multiple desires and difficulty in determining priorities. These are contradictions in the sphere of interests, goals, motives. Lack of opportunities to realize anything, and at the same time the inability to ignore your desire. This is a special manifestation of a completely normal interaction between various components of a person’s personality.

It is interesting that internal conflict arises only when two equal forces press on a person. If one of them is not equally important as the second, we choose the most optimal option and avoid conflict.

How to resolve internal conflict?

Despite the fact that internal conflicts are a normal state of a developing person, they must be resolved or tried to be prevented. There are specific techniques for this. We will give you some tips that will help you understand the problem and begin to resolve it.

Start by knowing yourself. It is very important to specifically understand all your pros and cons. In this way, in your own eyes you will become a completely defined, complete person.

Analyze your mistakes and shortcomings in terms of obstacles to achieving your potential. Often a person is concentrated in a huge number of factors that hinder his development:

Habit of passing on responsibility
Faith in others, but not in yourself
Hypocrisy has become a habit
Lack of willingness to pursue and defend one’s happiness
Independent dulling of one’s strength, which stimulates development
Preoccupation with the secondary and unimportant

Try to clearly articulate your values.

Develop self-confidence: constantly try new things, do not fuss, do not envy and humiliate yourself, do not lie to yourself and do not try to give a false impression to others, do not adapt to your environment.

Start by changing yourself and your internal conflicts will subside on their own, and you will feel a real increase in your abilities.

Quarrel, swearing, scandal, boycott - the first thing that often comes to mind when the word conflict is mentioned. Something unpleasant that spoils the relationship. Often this word is used in a political context: armed conflict. And it is associated with something dangerous and alarming.

If we consider this concept impartially, without a negative connotation, we can say that conflict is an imbalance. This is a certain situation that breaks out of the usual pattern of existence. If the balance is disturbed, there is a need to restore it, to organize life in line with the usual pattern.

That is, a conflict is a situation that arose as a result of an unpredictable event. This description can be applied to all conflicts in principle, be it an organism-environment conflict, person-person, person-society, person-element.

There are numerous classifications of conflicts. An entire branch of psychology studies this phenomenon and is called “conflictology.” In this article, I propose to consider conflicts from the point of view of their course and divide them into external and internal.

External conflicts– organism-environment conflicts. They occur at the border - human contact with the outside world. The balance in human-environment interaction is disrupted. This group includes all conflicts that arise between a person and something or someone external.

Internal conflicts(in psychology they are often called intrapersonal) - nothing more than a collision of our internal phenomena.

For example, the belief that one must always be polite and the desire to respond to rudeness with rudeness. By remaining polite, a person fuels his belief that he did the right thing. But he feels dissatisfied because he did not express his true attitude and did not defend himself. In this case, he can conduct an internal dialogue for a long time in order to calm down and prove to himself that he did the right thing.

The problem lies in the fact that repeated repetition of such situations leads to a persistent feeling of dissatisfaction, and sometimes even to depression.

Often the rules, norms and beliefs learned from childhood and the desires that a person has in the current period collide with each other.

Good girls and boys raised by good mothers and fathers are often very vulnerable as adults. They were taught good manners, but were not taught to listen to themselves and their desires, to defend boundaries and defend themselves.

Nurtured by caring parents who protected them from all the cruelty and ugliness of the world, as adults they become, at best, eccentrics with rose-colored glasses. Trusting and naive.
They are the easiest to offend and deceive.

And it is in them that there are the most internal conflicts, since upbringing dictates that it is necessary to behave well, but reality shows that this is not always necessary. And here you can often see incongruence - a discrepancy between external manifestations and internal needs. And this is nothing more than a lie.

Lie to yourself: I want one thing, but I do another. Self-deception entails deception of others. This is how internal conflict develops into external conflict. The interlocutor senses deception, a trick, a lie on a non-verbal level. And he doesn’t believe the answer.

Often internal conflict is not recognized. A person experiences discomfort, but does not understand what it is connected with. The psyche is under tension, it is necessary to reduce anxiety, but the “master” has powerful psychological defenses that prevent awareness.

And then a bodily symptom appears. This is what is called psychosomatics. All diseases come from nerves - a well-known phrase. And it has a theoretical basis.

Unconscious problems are looking for a way out. Without finding a way out into consciousness, they manifest themselves at the bodily level. Due to problems in the psycho, the soma (body) reacts. Here comes a psychosomatic illness, which includes gastritis, psoriasis, eczema, stomach ulcers and other sores.

Case study:

Diana, 21 years old. Married, child, 1.5 years old. Lives in the same apartment with her husband, mother-in-law and her husband's two sisters. She suffers from chronic nasal congestion, which is why she is forced to constantly use vasoconstrictor drops. Experiences severe discomfort.

During the course of therapy, it turns out that she first encountered this problem during pregnancy, to which she attributed the occurrence of the symptom. After childbirth, the symptom did not go away. It turns out that the symptom first appeared after Diana moved into the apartment with her husband and his relatives.

In the process of work, strong feelings for the husband’s relatives “pop up”. Diana describes her condition: I am suffocating in this house,” I don’t have enough space, I don’t have my own space, everything that is there is alien and wild to me. Then, during the experiment, the phrase is formulated: I don’t want to breathe the same air with them.

Realizing this moment, Diana felt great relief. Gradually, the symptom went away as we began to work on understanding her boundaries, needs, and ways to make her life around her in-laws more comfortable.

About six months later, an illustrative incident occurred with Diana. She went to the dacha with her parents. The situation was tense, since Diana’s relationship with her mother was quite difficult. On her parents' territory, she is forced to constantly follow the rules and do only what her mother wants her to do.

After staying at the dacha all day, Diana returns home by car through the rapeseed fields. Gradually, she begins to feel worse and worse: her eyes are watering, her nose is running, her temperature is rising. An hour later, once at home, Diana feels completely sick. She is sure that she is experiencing an acute attack of allergy to rapeseed.

But what really happened? A typical situation of “suffocation”, imposition of someone else’s will, violation of boundaries causes strong resistance. Feelings towards “violators” are forbidden, as they can lead to strong emotion and scandal. The psyche crushes their awareness and subsequent manifestation of feelings. Unconscious phenomena emerge along a familiar route - through a bodily symptom. Nasal congestion, snot, etc. again.

In further therapy, an environmentally friendly way for Diana to defend her boundaries was developed, and the symptom left her forever.

Here we see an intrapersonal conflict between the need to express one’s desires, to defend one’s own boundaries and the inability to talk about it due to the ban on expressing negativity and disagreement with relatives (both one’s own and the husband’s relatives).

As a child, the client had a traumatic experience in a family where an overbearing mother did not take into account the needs and desires of the children and constantly punished them for disobedience. Therefore, any disagreement with the opinion of family members was imprinted in Diana’s psyche as fraught with punishment.

The danger of psychosomatic symptoms is that if ignored, they move completely into the body (soma) and become chronic, becoming a real disease that requires medical intervention.

It is also necessary to mention that the model of behavior learned in childhood does not always correspond to the tasks of the modern world. Our parents lived at a time when the world around us was somewhat different.

Accordingly, we were raised to live in a society that no longer exists. Therefore, it is worth sometimes revising your settings, rules and principles and checking them for compliance with reality.

Clear, rigid (sedentary, established) attitudes and rules create obstacles to creative adaptation to interaction with the outside world. Therefore, it is important to try, test new ways of behavior that go beyond the usual in order to feel the fullness of life and breathe deeply!

Intrapersonal conflict Intrapersonal conflict is always characterized by strong feelings, since it affects our individual motives and thoughts.

Intrapersonal conflict is a contradiction in a person’s views and values regarding himself and his life. This problem is rapidly developing now when people, due to certain circumstances, place too many demands on themselves. Intrapersonal conflict is always characterized by strong feelings, since it affects our individual motives and thoughts. A conflict of this kind can mature and develop for years, at a certain stage without in any way interfering with the individual’s full existence. However, at some point, dissatisfaction with yourself and your achievements becomes too obvious. Then the intrapersonal conflict manifests itself in its entirety. Why is it dangerous, what are its features and reasons for its formation? Let's try to figure it out!

Causes of intrapersonal conflict

Like any conflict, this one also has its reasons. These reasons usually affect a person’s attitude towards his own personality. When we even subconsciously do not approve of some of our actions and even thoughts, we gradually learn to remain more and more dissatisfied with ourselves.

Unjustified expectations

Numerous demands are put forward to modern man in society. Sometimes a false impression is created that a successful person never gets tired and always does his job efficiently. In fact, this is just an appearance, an image imposed by society, which everyone is trying to unconditionally follow. A person cannot constantly exist at the limit of his capabilities. Gradually, she accustoms herself to the fact that she lives incorrectly, not like other people. Unjustified expectations are the main reason why intrapersonal conflict begins to develop. A person feels that he does not meet some standards and cannot influence the situation that oppresses him.

Disappointment in yourself

A common reason for the development of intrapersonal conflict, which makes you give up. It seems to a person that he is not capable of anything, but can only make various mistakes. Disappointment in oneself can arise as a result of failure in meaningful activities. Problems at work unsettle you for a long time and deprive you of self-confidence. If a project fails, thoughts about your own insolvency often come to mind. Disappointment in oneself contributes to the aggravation of intrapersonal conflict. People often drive themselves into terrible experiences precisely because they want to achieve great results, but in fact they deprive themselves of moral strength.

Social norms and personal needs

These categories often come into significant conflict with each other. Conflict is formed when a person feels unable to realize his own desires for one reason or another. Many people consider it necessary to conform to the laws of society, even if these requirements run counter to their own ideas about life. For some, social norms are too important and significant to ignore. In this case, the personality often remains lost and unclaimed. When individual needs are not met, most simply give up and no longer want to make even the slightest attempt to try to change their lives.

Low self-esteem

This is a serious problem, which in itself provokes intrapersonal conflict. If for some reason a person cannot realize his potential, then this circumstance puts extreme pressure on him and makes him doubt himself. Low self-esteem does not allow you to achieve success. Even if a person is talented enough, he does not find within himself the resource for achievement. She has to constantly be in an internal struggle, proving to herself the right to self-expression, and this circumstance is very mentally exhausting. The inability to value oneself is a common reason for the formation of conflict.

Types of intrapersonal conflicts

Intrapersonal conflict has several types of expression. In any case, it is necessary to try to eliminate the contradiction as soon as possible.

Moral inadequacy

It appears as a result of the fact that the values of a particular individual are very different from the ideas of society. In matters of morality and morality, there are too many restrictions that sometimes interfere with a happy sense of self. A person often finds himself in a situation where his desires are not only not satisfied, but are also subject to general censure. It must be said that not everyone is able to overcome such an obstacle. Many people give up their desires only because they do not know how to properly fight for them.

Motivational conflict

In this case, we are talking about the fact that interests that have equal value for a person collide with each other. He cannot give up one thing in favor of another without experiencing a colossal feeling of guilt or disappointment. You need strong motivation to start taking action, to really change your life.

Conflict of unfulfilled desires

This type of conflict occurs very often. In reality, the innermost desires of an individual always face certain obstacles. It is not always possible to cope with them even with support. If an individual lacks self-confidence, it will be difficult for him to follow the voice of his own heart. Often people put off realizing their goals just because they don’t know how to resolve a conflict. By giving up our dreams, we doom ourselves to an unhappy existence. The individual practically ceases to experience joy and begins to live only with everyday worries. The conflict of unfulfilled desires puts too much pressure on the psyche. It can even interfere with building a happy life, since it will constantly remind you of its existence.

Frustrating conflict

The very concept of frustration means that a person gives up something that is of great importance to him. Frustrating conflict emphasizes that a person is too focused on possible failure, and this is what prevents him from moving forward in life. By getting used to giving up our own needs, we cannot fully develop, because we deprive ourselves of joy.

Resolving intrapersonal conflict

Whatever the cause of intrapersonal conflict, it definitely needs to be resolved. If this is not done in time, then there is a high risk that a person will spend a lot of time in contradictions that will poison him throughout his life. This kind of conflict does not allow you to fully enjoy life, enjoy your own achievements and new discoveries. How to move towards conflict resolution? What steps should be taken in this case?

Decision-making

This is the very first step, without which all the others will be impossible. A person needs to take responsibility for his own well-being. No one else can do this for him. This is why intrapersonal conflict is too serious a thing to try to ignore. You need to understand in advance that making a firm decision will help direct your thoughts in the right direction and free you from endlessly rushing through life in search of a better life. There is no need to run away from yourself.

Inner harmony

Living in harmony with yourself is the dream of every person who knows the true price of happiness. No matter what circumstances prevent you from enjoying life, you must not give up. Resolution of internal conflict cannot occur without the formation of such an understanding. It is necessary to strive to begin to realize your true desires and needs. This will help you free yourself from conflict by setting your own boundaries. Nothing can compare with the feeling of inner harmony.

Focus on the task

Every person should have a goal in life that will inspire him to new achievements, truly lead him forward and force him to develop. Often the presence of intrapersonal conflict in every possible way hinders self-realization. The individual worries too much about possible failure. In some cases, people stop acting altogether to avoid disappointment. Of course, this approach does not solve the problem, but only significantly aggravates it. The ability to focus on the task at hand will help resolve intrapersonal conflict. You need to clearly understand the entire sequence of actions. Overcoming the difficulties that arise is necessary in order to strengthen character and increase confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.

Avoiding Doubts

Many people are afraid of making a mistake, thereby becoming disappointed in their abilities. You shouldn't constantly be closed in doubt. Failures happen to everyone, but they do not destroy a strong personality, but only show the trajectory of the desired movement. If you have been in a pronounced conflict with yourself for a long time, then you simply need to first free yourself from doubts. Fears significantly complicate the situation: they prevent you from acting and making responsible decisions. Freed from worries and doubts, you can reach incredible heights and become closer to your dreams.

Substitution

When you cannot cope with some kind of contradiction, you need to try to understand the situation well. In some cases, it may be necessary to replace with something a need that cannot yet be realized without significant losses. By resorting to such a scheme, you can maintain peace of mind and at the same time come to a solution to the intrapersonal conflict. The problem is that such a conflict cannot be ignored. Otherwise, he can imperceptibly subjugate the personality and make him even more doubtful about the available possibilities.

Thus, intrapersonal conflict is a problem that significantly reduces the quality of life. As a rule, such a conflict always indicates what a person needs to pay attention to, what he has to work on. Paying attention to your own personality will help you free yourself from a painful state of mind. In cases where it is not possible to solve the problem on your own, it is necessary seek help from the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center. Working with a psychologist will help restore your peace of mind and restore lost strength. Individual consultations are necessary to understand the origins of the conflict, only after which it can be resolved.

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Depression

A person does not require a state of balance, but rather a struggle for some goal worthy of him. Victor Frankl

If we consider the positive consequences of intrapersonal conflict (see previous article), we can highlight the following:

1) conflicts contribute resource mobilization personality to overcome existing obstacles to its development;

2) conflicts help self-knowledge of the individual and the development of an adequate personality;

3) intrapersonal conflict tempers and strengthens the human psyche;

4) conflict is a means and method of self-development and self-actualization of the individual;

5) overcoming conflicts gives the individual a feeling of fullness of life, making it internally richer, brighter and more fulfilling.

There are general, or general social, conditions and ways to prevent intrapersonal conflicts:

Know yourself. The next step is to identify the talents and strengths of your personality. Analyze when, under what circumstances and how did you manage to overcome yourself, your inertia and achieve success?

Identifying our mistakes and shortcomings, those obstacles in ourselves that prevent us from discovering our abilities. To do this, you can use the analysis of the following limiting factors:

We shift responsibility onto others instead of taking it ourselves.
We trust others more than ourselves, because we ourselves do not know what is important to us.
Hypocrisy out of politeness and for any reason leads to the degradation of our feelings.
We lack the willingness to defend our right to happiness and fulfillment.
We allow ourselves to drown out the power that gives us independence and imagination.
Inability to turn to what is important and with a light heart to abandon everything that is not essential, secondary.

Formulate meaningful life values. Use your positive life experiences.

Be confident in yourself. A person who is not confident in his abilities, at the same time, always feels restless. Sooner or later he will face an intrapersonal conflict, because uncertainty gives rise to doubt, which is adjacent to fear. Therefore, before you take on any serious business, check whether you have the following typical manifestations of self-doubt:

fear of trying - inaction, reluctance to achieve one’s goal for fear of being defeated, “losing one’s face.”
fussiness - fear of not keeping up with others, restlessness, causing discomfort, anxiety and fear.
envy and self-humiliation - constant comparison of oneself with others, dissatisfaction with oneself, self-humiliation and humiliation of others.
bravado and lies - the desire to make an impression better than it really is, to “show off.”
conformism - opportunism, the desire to be “like everyone else,” “keep a low profile,” and not take risks.

If you have at least some of these qualities, you need to take measures to get rid of them. In this case, you can use the following recommendations:

A self-confident person does not seek to assert himself at the expense of others by humiliating others. He tries to become better than he is, and not to become better than others always and in everything, as a neurotic does.
Do not succumb to the pressure of behavioral stereotypes, do not restrain your activity.
Think with your own head, although, of course, you should not neglect the practical advice of others.
Know that you have many abilities and strengths sufficient to complete the tasks that you have set for yourself. There are abilities. which a person is not even aware of, and which are revealed only in the concrete experience of life.
Trust yourself more, do not destroy your own “I” by constantly listening to the opinions of others in everything.
Don’t forget, there is nothing worse for you than to abandon yourself, to live someone else’s life, someone else’s ideas and meanings. You are you and no one else will ever replace you. Give up the attitude “I am what you need” and be guided by the principle “I am what I am.” This awareness of your self-worth alone will strengthen your self-confidence.

Strive for moral self-education and self-affirmation.

In addition to the above methods of preventing intrapersonal conflicts, modern conflictology identifies others. Here are some of the most significant.

Don’t strive to “embrace the immensity,” don’t take on everything at once. Know how to prioritize among all your motives and needs and focus on fulfilling them first.
Do not accumulate problems. Eventually the situation will reach a level where you will no longer be able to cope with their solution, which will lead to intrapersonal conflict.

Resolution (or overcoming) of intrapersonal conflict is the removal of internal tension of the individual, overcoming contradictions between various elements of its internal structure and achieving a state of internal balance, stability and harmony.

Conflict resolution is positive and leads to personal development and self-improvement.

First of all, it should be noted that any intrapersonal conflict is always individual and of a personal nature. Therefore, its resolution depends on such personality factors as age, gender, character, temperament, social status, values, etc. This means that there are no universal ways to resolve intrapersonal conflicts that are equally suitable for all people and situations.

However, despite the need for an individual approach to overcoming intrapersonal conflicts, it is possible to formulate the most general and typical principles and methods for resolving them, which, taking into account individual specifics, can be used by everyone. So, if you find yourself in a situation of intrapersonal conflict, it is recommended to do the following:

1 Adequately assess the situation. Take control of it, try to identify the contradictions that caused the conflict and caused the feeling fear or anger.

2 Realize the existential meaning of the conflict. Analyze the degree of importance of it for you, evaluate its consequences in terms of its place and role in your life. It may happen that the reason that caused the conflict should immediately be relegated to the background in your system of values or forgotten altogether.

3 Localize the cause of the conflict. Reveal the very essence of it, discarding all minor points and accompanying circumstances.

4 Show courage in analyzing the causes of intrapersonal conflict. Know how to face the truth, even if it is not very pleasant to you. Set aside all extenuating circumstances and ruthlessly examine the cause of your anxiety.

5 “Blow off some steam.” Release pent-up anger, emotions, or anxiety. To do this, you can use both physical exercise and creative activities. Go to the cinema, theater, pick up your favorite book.

6 Try relaxation training. Today there are many publications on specific techniques and mechanisms of relaxation and meditation; choose the most suitable for you personally.

7 Change your work environment and/or style. This should be done if intrapersonal conflict constantly arises due to unfavorable operating conditions.

8 Know how to forgive. And not only others, but also yourself. In the end, all people are “not without sin” and we are no exception.

9 Cry for your health. The American biochemist W. Frey, who specifically studied tears, discovered that when they are caused by negative emotions, they contain a substance that acts like morphine and has calming properties. In his opinion, tears are a protective reaction to stress. Crying with tears serves as a signal for the brain to relieve emotional stress. But in addition to scientific research, almost everyone knows from personal experience that tears bring emotional release and relief, strength to move on and achieve success.

(Based on materials from the book “Conflictology”, author-compiler E.V. Burtovaya)

How to resolve internal conflict?

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