Psychosomatic disorders in children. Psychosomatics: unobvious causes of childhood diseases

Hello, dear readers! Today we will discuss such a problem as childhood diseases. A child is a reflection of the family. If something goes wrong between adults, the kids are the first to suffer. A friend of mine was divorcing her husband, and her boy nervous soil A strong suffocating cough began! Women's forums are filled with messages of the following nature: “Help. We are constantly sick and cannot go to kindergarten. Hospitals, doctors - everything is useless.” Adults know that most problems are due to nerves. In the case of kids, for some reason we don’t think about it. But the psychosomatics of childhood illnesses can explain a lot... Let's start with the basics.

Point of no return

The first obstacles arise when the little one is left without us. Some have the opportunity to study independently with preschoolers, others prefer to take their child to kindergarten for socialization... In any case, at some point the baby is left alone. This is normal, because he is slowly learning to be independent and interact with others. This is normal for us. For a child, the absence of parents is a tragedy. At a young age, he experiences most of the shocks and discoveries.

The kids can't tell what's wrong. They are shy, have not yet learned to express complex thoughts, they simply do not fully understand... This is where whims and illnesses begin. I don’t argue that there really are a lot of “foreign” microbes in kindergartens and schools. But did mothers sit still before this? No. They walked with the little ones, went shopping quietly, and signed up for various clubs for the little ones. The same bacteria were there. Only the child was not sick.

Did you know that according to the psychosomatics of childhood illnesses, a cough is a hidden protest? If there are constant groundless prohibitions, the condition of the lungs will worsen. Usually the child simply does not want to be left without his parents, hence the disease. We deliberately add fuel to the fire when we dance around little patient. It is difficult to refrain from the desire to caress, pity, console with a gift... As a result, the body quickly remembers that being sick is good, it means attention and care. The baby herself may not want to regularly pick up germs, but that’s how it turns out.

What to do?

I’ll say right away that psychosomatics is not a panacea. Turn all your attention to her and give up traditional methods no treatment needed. This is just a reason to think and look at inner world, on relationships, not on physiology. In any case, it won't get worse. Who was harmed by harmony and understanding in the family?

Search golden mean. Children's immunity weak, but it’s not worth healing every sneeze. By the way, the same cough often goes away when mothers stop feeding their children syrups and mixtures. Medicines themselves can irritate the mucous membranes!

All children are individual, so they react to adverse events differently. For example, according to books on the psychosomatics of childhood illnesses, a runny nose indicates bad relationship a team. For a fragile psyche, any emergency situation is enough for a reaction to begin. For example, this may happen due to a new need to compete. Previously, the baby was the only one who received praise. He was always the best. And now there is a whole group around the teacher. Even an experienced teacher will not treat everyone the same. Someone will definitely stand out.

What to do? Learn to hear and understand. Find a compromise solution. If a child has no talent for learning, help him to open up in another area, not forgetting about general development. Try music, singing, drawing, dancing... There are many options. Alas, in the “adult” world you need to be able to achieve and improve yourself. Everyone goes through this. It’s a shame when people suddenly stop praising people for their drawings of circles and dashes, but it’s part of life.

From the heights of past years similar problems we think it's nonsense. We have many other important concerns. Well, just think, someone didn’t share the toy... Imagine what’s going on in the child’s head. Give up stereotypes, remember yourself at his age, talk. Live together, not apart. You are wiser and more experienced. Guide! Under no circumstances should you brush it off or get irritated, even if you are in a very bad mood.

Encyclopedia of diseases

The main “triggering” factors are overprotection, lack of attention, lack of understanding and poor relationships between adults.

According to the psychosomatics of childhood diseases, bronchitis and pneumonia are lack of air. The baby does not have his own free psychological space; his wishes are ignored. There is no opportunity to get bumps on your own, everything is prohibited. Asthma occurs due to similar reasons. There is excessive soft care, the child cannot breathe without his mother.

Throat pathologies appear from insults or suppression of one’s opinion. Usually moms and dads don't understand words small penis families seriously. Any initiative is cut off. The children are literally not allowed to speak.

Ears become a weak point if people in a family or new team often communicate in a raised voice. The body in its own way protects itself from screaming and aggression by ceasing to hear.

Do you have any phobias? Real fear causes an irresistible desire to curl up in the fetal position. In this case, unpleasant sensations arise in the chest and abdomen. In children, stomach pain also indicates hidden fear.

Bad teeth are a consequence of holding back bad emotions. Anger, irritation, anger. It is necessary to identify the cause and eliminate it, while gently correcting the character.

Dermatological reactions are an attempt to establish a barrier between oneself and adults. Children also need their own personal physical space. The constant imposition of affection sometimes becomes unpleasant.

Incontinence – increased self-control, inability to relax. As a result, relaxation comes at the most unfortunate moment. It could also be an attempt to attract attention.

Allergies are mentioned separately in books on the psychosomatics of childhood diseases. This complex pathology, arising from difficult experiences, fatigue, accumulated emotions. Allergy means rejection of something in the literal sense. The child could be tired because of new responsibilities, parental demands, or even because of his own failures. Non-acceptance of some aspect of life simply took on a more pronounced, physical form.

The power of consciousness knows no bounds. Adults know how to use it and relate to the world completely differently. We visit psychologists without hesitation and willingly communicate with them. For children this is violence. The child does not see the problem and is not eager to deal with it. Young patients are the most difficult.

Who knows our little ones better than ourselves? Wisdom and understanding have incredible healing power! Did you have “emotional” illnesses as a child? Have they disappeared? Health to your children!

In order for psychosomatic disorders to appear, at a minimum, information about negative events and other factors described above are necessary. A newly born baby has contact with the outside world thanks to the senses of the mother, with whom he has a strong symbiotic relationship.

Therefore, any negative emotions or shocks experienced by the mother are perceived by the child as part of her. A child can react to the mother’s anxiety, anxiety, depression, and despair only by changing his physical health. Even premature babies from mothers experiencing financial adversity, betrayal of loved ones or illness of parents respond to them with stunted growth, persistent loss of body weight and inability to absorb the nutrition they receive.

Psychosomatic disorders in early childhood are varied and sometimes prove persistent. Infantile colic is attacks of abdominal pain that occur with severe screaming, crying, restlessness, bloating and lasting minutes or hours. Priyegny regurgitation is the eruption of a small amount of food received during feeding. Sometimes it is combined with thumb sucking, sleep disturbances, tearfulness, etc. Anorexia is a lack of appetite that often occurs in especially active, irritable children. Can be selective and depend on who is feeding or from what utensil. The peak symptom is a perversion of appetite, in which children tend to eat inedible substances: coal, clay, paint, soil, paper, plaster, rubbish, or chew linen and clothes.

Psychosomatic disorders in preschoolers and children of primary school age. Headaches that occur after excitement and are often accompanied by nausea, pallor, sweating, and mood changes. Fever - attacks of short duration big promotion body temperature (up to 39-40 °C) or prolonged, but insignificant

body (37-38 °C), not associated with any somatic diseases. Abdominal pain is one of the most common ways children react to trouble. They can be recurrent, that is, repeated repeatedly in difficult situations. Psychogenic vomiting, the ejection of food from the stomach, can be an episodic phenomenon due to anger, disgust or fear, or a constant reaction to any difficulties in life. Enuresis, involuntary loss of urine, as well as enuresis, involuntary loss of feces, are frequent somatic manifestations of emotional disorders in children.

Psychosomatic disorders of adolescence may be a continuation of those that arose in more early period life, and thus not fundamentally different or characteristic primarily of the age of puberty. Psychological or anorexia nervosa is characterized by persistent refusal to eat, noticeable loss of body weight (15% or more from age norm), active use of techniques to reduce body weight (inducing vomiting, taking appetite suppressants or laxatives), distortion of the image of one’s body, in which only low body weight is considered acceptable for oneself, absence of menstruation in girls and loss of potency in boys, suspension of sexual development if the disease began at the beginning of puberty. The personalities of these patients are distinguished by fairly high intelligence, rationality, reasoning, varied interests, activity, a great sense of responsibility, and superficiality in relationships with others. Often these qualities are combined with shyness, uncertainty, inner feeling insolvency, high level claims without sufficient criticism of one’s capabilities, hysterical manifestations or obsessive tendencies. During the course of the disease, physical exhaustion, mental asthenia, and sometimes depression develop. Psychic or bulimia nervosa, repeated bouts of overeating may be a stage anorexia nervosa or an independent disorder. Violations reproductive function for girls: juvenile bleeding(prolonged, excessively heavy with irregular menstruation), amenorrhea (absence of menstruation), algomenorrhea ( painful menstruation), usually occur in people with extremely changeable moods, increased fatigue, irritability, a tendency to hypochondria, indecision, increased vulnerability and a feeling of inferiority. Reproductive function disorders are often accompanied by an unusual focus on painful phenomena, fear of irreparable loss of health, experience of one’s ugliness or inferiority, asthenia, affective disorders: anxiety, fears

death, decreased mood, increased irritability. Vegetative-vascular dystonia is a condition based on changes in blood pressure. With dystonia of the hypertensive type, high blood pressure is observed, constant or paroxysmal headache with nausea, vomiting that occurs with overwork, fainting, dizziness, discomfort or pain in the heart, palpitations and, less often, shortness of breath during exercise. Adolescents are capable of making independent decisions, are impatient, excitable, irritable, unbalanced, tired, with increased reactive anxiety. Most of them are not confident in the success of treatment, a third are dismissive of the disease and ignore it. hypotonic type characterized by reduced blood pressure, intense and prolonged headaches, most pronounced in the afternoon, morning weakness, fatigue, dizziness after school activities and with changes in body position, a tendency to faint and stabbing pains in the area of the heart. Patients are insecure, vulnerable, dependent, sensitive to threat, fearful, fears for their life and health prevail, their personal anxiety and a hypochondriacal focus on illness.

Etiology. As already mentioned, many factors are involved in the origin of psychosomatic disorder.

1. Acute or chronic stress. These include insufficiently protective and sometimes completely inadequate family upbringing, early abandonment of the family, deprivation of a mother, education strangers, repeated placement in hospitals, friction in communication with fellow students, misunderstanding by teachers and educators, discrepancy in abilities school programs, difficult relationships with parents experiencing an unstable situation, the influence of antisocial peers, encounters with criminal elements, etc.

One explanation for the mechanism of action of stress uses only psychosocial factors: suppressing or containing anger towards others or directing it towards oneself, usually with low self-esteem. Other - to understand stress, analyzes the relationship between the stressor and the individual against the background of a specific social situation, taking into account defense mechanisms personality (coping mechanism) and the body (nervous and humoral).

2. Accumulation emotional stress. Countless traces of intellectual, affective, sensory stimuli create emotional background, which is not always realized and in some cases is safely discharged, and in others leads to the accumulation of negative emotions. The latter occurs in people with neurodynamic disorders leading to stagnation of emo

national excitations in the limbic system of both functional and organic origin.

3. Genetic factors. Among relatives of patients suffering from psychosomatic diseases, 60-70% suffer from the same disorders.

4. Predisposition factors. Experiencing crisis situations (floods, earthquakes) that turn out to be unbearable for the individual.

5. Premorbid features of ligity. In some patients it predominates increased anxiety which is impossible to express in words and get relief (alexithymia); others have self-confidence, aggressiveness, intolerance, constant shortage time, tireless struggle for maximum achievements in a particular area, extreme dedication to work; in others: - timidity, impressionability, tension with inability to discharge, increased responsibility, low level self-respect, poor tolerance frustrations.

6. Unfavorable microsocial environment. The family of a psychosomatic patient is characterized by confusion social roles, overprotection, rigidity in behavior, inability to resolve conflicts.

7. Unfavorable mental state at the time of the stressor. For example, lack social support, helplessness.

8. Greater subjective familiarity of the stressor. For example, a child’s excessive experience of even a short-term absence of his mother against the backdrop of his constant fear of losing his parent.

Thus, for the occurrence of psychosomatic pathology, in addition to stress, a genetic predisposition to one or another form of adaptation disease (stomach ulcer, hypertension, bronchial asthma, neurodermatitis, etc.), neurodynamic changes that contribute to the accumulation of emotional stress, personality traits, unfavorable microsocial environment, mental condition at the moment of action of the stressor, favoring its pathogenic effect, and the greater subjective significance of the stressor.

Treatment. Held medications that specialist who has greatest knowledge in relevant diseases - by a therapist, gynecologist, dermatologist, etc., but always with the participation of a psychologist and psychotherapist. A psychologist performs diagnostic tasks, studying personality and individual mental manifestations sick. He must also assess the family situation in which the patient lives and analyze his place in the group of peers. All this will become material for the psychotherapist to develop the best therapeutic approach to the individual, family and wider environment.

Prevention and early recognition. For a child and adolescent, many life circumstances can play the role of conditions conducive to the development of psychosomatic disorders in the event that the biological resistance of the body and the socio-psychological defense of the individual turn out to be untenable. Such situations may include inadequate parenting, parental divorce, a disharmonious family, the inability of parents to fulfill their conventional or gender roles, conflict between these roles and interpersonal relationships in the family or society, difficult learning conditions, rejection by peers, etc. Children who have lost their emotional connections, lacking support, a sense of belonging, security and purpose in life. In this situation, children find themselves left without parents, sent to poor closed children's institutions, hospitalized for long periods of time, often changing peer groups or place of residence, living with sick or mentally troubled parents who are unable to love and care for their child.

In order to prevent psychosomatic disorders, it is necessary to recognize the unfavorable situations in which the child exists and try to help the family and the child correct it. It is aimed at preventing the development of psychosomatic diseases early detection children and adolescents with signs of chronic anxiety. Anxiety in older children is subjectively perceived as restlessness and mental discomfort. In younger children, dysthymic phenomena (mood disturbances), fussiness, restlessness, and motor restlessness. Along with this, such children experience: 1) pre-neurotic phenomena: sleep disturbances, tics, finger sucking, obsessions, causeless crying; 2) vegetative-dystonic phenomena: dizziness, headaches, palpitations, respiratory rhythm disturbances, fainting, repeated abdominal pain; 3) somatic phenomena: bulimia, increased thirst, repeated vomiting, obesity, fever of unknown origin, itchy skin etc.

Some time ago official medicine was quite skeptical about the attempt of non-traditionally oriented specialists to explain a number of diseases by problems of a psychological nature. Thanks to numerous tests and statistical data, the impact of a child’s emotional state on the physical state has been proven. In view of this, that's all today larger number doctors are forced to admit the existence of psychosomatics, and parents turn to psychologists for help.

Photo: Help from a psychologist

Characteristics of psychosomatics

Psychosomatic disorders are bodily illnesses caused by mental disharmony. Simply put, through the body the child’s soul tries to express its concerns, talk about its experiences and feelings.

Kids take issues that concern them no less seriously than adults. It should be understood that it is much more difficult for a child to speak out. Especially difficult situation becomes under pressure from adults trying to prove to the child that “boys shouldn’t cry” and “decent girls are never capricious.” The categorical nature of the parents is the reason why the child begins to feel guilty for trying to express feelings and emotions. As a result, at the next stressful situation, he is left alone with everything that is going on inside. Heats up over time nervous tension, supported by hopelessness, gradually seeps out, expressed in bodily troubles. In this way, the soul is purified and liberated.

Photo: Children's psychosomatics

Consider psychosomatics as the cause of problems in children's body appropriate in case of regular development of new diseases and return of old ones.

Psychosomatic disorders can manifest themselves even in infants. Moreover, there are assumptions that psychological factors adversely affect even the fetus in the womb!

What can cause psychosomatic disorders?

Some children are born strong and active. They speak of such people only as “hero” and “strong man.” The opposite also happens: the child is born clearly lethargic, lacking strength and health. Adepts alternative medicine argue that the last category of children includes those who, from their very inception within a woman, were unwanted. In other words, the health of the baby is primarily affected by the condition of the mother at the moment when she becomes aware of her situation.

Photo: The condition of the mother affects the health of the unborn baby

The main cause of psychosomatic disorders in children after birth is a weakened emotional condition mothers. The baby, who looks completely defenseless, is very sensitive to the mother’s condition and is inclined to feel any changes in her behavior and mood. Jealousy, anxiety, nervousness, etc. have an extremely negative impact on a woman and her child.

The following situations give impetus to the development of psychosomatic disorders in older children:

lack of parental attention and their excessive demands on the child;
regular quarrels between parents;
difficulties during period and school;
inability to establish friendships with peers, and others.

Photo: Inability to establish friendships with peers is the cause of psychosomatic disorder

In fact, children of all ages may have an incredible number of problems that are intractable from their point of view, which adults are not aware of or are simply in no hurry to do so.

Psychosomatic diseases in children

Experts have identified common childhood diseases that are associated with psychosomatics. Among them:

angina;
bronchitis;
allergy;
intestinal disorders;
anemia;
oncology.

According to experts involved in the study of psychosomatics, the illness that attacks a child can be used to understand the nature of the problem tormenting his soul. So, if a child is susceptible frequent colds , he is overtaken by a cough and runny nose, it is quite obvious that there is an interfering free breathing Problems. Possibly, breathing problems are associated with excessive parental care, frequent criticism from them, and high demands.

Children with noticeable regularity and other throat diseases simply cannot speak out. Sometimes a child may be tormented by feelings of shame or guilt. It has been proven that frequent sore throats overtake children during quarrels with peers, especially if the child feels his own guilt for what happened. Another reason is separation from mom. For example, during adaptation to kindergarten, when the baby really misses his mother, but is silent about his experiences and just cries.

Photo: Emotions and diseases

Intestinal disorders According to statistics, withdrawn children suffer more often. Feeling of fear of the outside world and strangers increases the manifestations of the problem, that is, constipation/diarrhea and abdominal pain occur.

Skin troubles arise on a nervous basis. When tension inside a child, caused by strong negative emotions, reaches its climax and spills out through the skin, hives, rashes or dermatitis.

Experts in the field of psychosomatics insist on belonging to this area and anemia.

A persistent lack of iron indicates a lack of bright moments in a child’s life and positive emotions. Another possible reason is the child’s lack of confidence in his own abilities.

One of the common troubles in childhood,enuresis, can also be explained from a psychosomatic point of view. A urological disorder indicates a child’s fear of growing up and unwillingness to accept responsibility for his actions.

Photo: Enuresis is a psychosomatic disease

Is it possible to help a child?

The main difficulty in dealing with psychosomatic disorders lies in their diagnosis. Very often, parents, observing the deteriorating health of their child, do not attach importance to participation in the process for months and even years. psychological aspect. In view of this, psychosomatic specialists often have to deal with very advanced cases.

The fight against psychosomatic disorders involves coordinated work the child himself, his parents, pediatrician and psychologist. The pediatrician must select conservative treatment of this or that disease, and the psychologist begins to work with the child’s soul, paying Special attention a rebellious organ or system. Parents should listen to the recommendations of both sides, support their child and create a warm atmosphere in the family. Adults definitely need to build a truly trusting relationship with their child!

Photo: Trusting relationship with a child

Prevention

In the case of psychosomatic disorders, prevention plays a leading role. It is much easier to prevent one or another bodily ailment caused by mental anguish than to eliminate it. The following rules will help prevent the development of diseases:

Do not encourage illness (do not make the life of a sick child too easy by allowing him everything that is unacceptable in a healthy state)
Balance the load placed on the baby and the demands placed on him
Give your child personal space
Create a calm atmosphere in the home

In the age of scientific and technological progress, you cannot envy the modern mother. There is so much information that it is impossible to remain a mother without causing harm and psychological trauma child, it’s simply unrealistic. If you breastfeed for more than a year, you are blessed; if you feed with formula, you are selfish. You sleep with a child - sexopathology, you leave him alone in a crib - deprivation, you go to work - trauma, you sit at home with a child - impaired socialization, you take him to clubs - overexertion, you don’t take him to clubs - you are raising a consumer... And it would be funny if it wasn't so sad. Mom didn’t have time to survive and rethink all the articles on the psychology of development and education - and here is a new product wrapped in a truism. If a child gets sick, only the mother can be to blame - not directly, but indirectly, not physically, but energetically and informationally... And how can one maintain a sane mind with all this, not fall into depression and not turn into an anxious neurotic?

I suggest leaving mom alone and carefully figuring out what childhood “psychosomatics” actually is.

Initially, I assume that “mom bullying” began from the very times when the popular formula “all diseases come from the brain” came to the forefront of articles in popular psychology. If we know that the basis of any disease is some kind of psychological problem, then we need to find it. But when suddenly it turned out that the child had no concerns material assets and prosperity, that the child does not experience such fatigue and resource limitations as an adult, does not have problems of a sexual nature, etc. Actually, due to age, the child is not yet woven into the social structure to the extent that he can have all those complexes and experiences that adults have accumulated over the years, right away bad luck is discovered - either the interpretation of the reasons is incorrect (but I don’t want to believe it), or the problem is in the mother (how can I explain it otherwise?).

Yes. The child really depends largely on the mother, her mood, behavior, etc. The child absorbs some of the “problems” from mother's milk, through hormones; partly due to a lack of resources and the inability to give the child what he really needs; partly because the child becomes a hostage to vent some problems, due to fatigue, ignorance, misunderstandings and erroneous interpretations, etc. And when it comes to sore throat, sore ears, enuresis, etc., a lot can be discussed, decided and made allowances to the fact that not everyone should understand medicine or psychology on an equal basis with specialists. But modern problem society also lies in the fact that the emphasis from “all diseases from the brain”, and “childhood diseases from the brains of their parents”, has shifted to mothers with special children. At best, this is karma, a lesson or experience, at worst it is punishment, retribution and punishment... And then staying on the sidelines is simply disastrous. Therefore, the first thing that is important to understand for those who are really interested in “psychosomatics” and want to work on themselves in this direction is that NOT ALL DISEASES ARE FROM THE BRAIN. And not even 85%, as many people write about it;)

Sometimes illnesses are just illnesses

It happens that stress reduces immunity. But stress is not only a mental concept, but also a physical one. Hypothermia or overheating, bright light, noise, vibration, pain, etc. - all this is also stress for the body, and especially for children. Also, stress is not a synonym for bad (read distress and eustress), and positive events, surprises, etc. can deplete and weaken the body.

Moreover, if a child goes to kindergarten/school, he is constantly at risk of viral or bacterial infection. If there is chickenpox in the garden, if there is whooping cough in the garden, if there is an excess of some kind of stick in the kitchen, worms, lice, etc., does this mean that the child’s mother has projected her psychological problems onto him? Does this mean that only those children who have an unfavorable psychological climate in the family will get sick?

In my practice of working with allergic diseases, there was a case of a mother who for a long time was looking for her “hidden grievances and controversial feelings” in relation to the father of the child, with whom she was divorced. The connection was obvious, because rashes appeared on the girl’s body some time after meetings with her dad, but there were no feelings because the divorce was amicable. The conversation with the parents did not give any clues, but the conversation with the child revealed the fact that the father, when meeting with his daughter, simply fed her chocolate, and so that the mother did not swear, this was their little secret.

You just need to accept it as a fact that sometimes diseases are just diseases.

Sometimes illnesses are a consequence of psychological problems in the family

Various families various conditions residence, level of income, education, etc. There are “single-parent” families, and there are also “overcrowded” families, with grandparents, or when several families, for example, brothers and sisters, live in the same territory. In families, there are too many “overcrowded” children different models and options for establishing relationships, rights, responsibilities, in incomplete ones - vice versa. Often, conflicts arise from both an excess and a lack of these connections. Hidden or obvious, they exist in almost every family, and can affect the child’s health, both directly and indirectly. What beacons can be used to suspect the psychosomatic basis of diseases in children?

1. The child is under 3 years of age, especially when the child is on breastfeeding and spends most of his time only with one of the parents (guardians).

2. Diseases appear as if out of nowhere, without any precursors and appropriate conditions (if they are not worms).

3. Diseases tend to constantly recur (some children constantly suffer from sore throats, others from otitis media, etc.)

4. Diseases pass easily and too quickly or, on the contrary, prolong too much.

All this may indicate a psychosomatic basis for the onset of the disease, but not necessarily.

For example, in a family where the child is forbidden to show negative emotions(cry, scream, get angry, etc.), a sore throat may well be a kind of way to show parents that silence, difficulty breathing and difficulty swallowing (the same happens when a child must suppress a “tantrum”), etc. - This is not normal, it shouldn’t be like this.

However, it happens that a child suffers from sore throats in a family in which it is allowed to show their emotions and it is customary to discuss and talk about their problems. Then this suggests that the throat area is simply constitutional weakness in the body, so any fatigue, overexertion, etc. first of all they “hit” there.

An analysis of a family case by a psychosomatics specialist helps determine whether the illness actually has a psychological cause or whether the cause is still physiological.

Sometimes illnesses are unconsciously projected by the child themselves in order to achieve secondary gain.

From early childhood, the child acquires the understanding that the sick person is provided with special “benefits”, in the form of goodies, attention, extra sleep and cartoons, etc.

The older children get, the more the secondary benefit takes on the nature of avoidance - not going to grandma, not going to kindergarten, skipping a test, shifting your work to someone else, etc.

All these options weakly depend on mother’s psychological state, and at the same time are easily recognized and can be correctly explained and corrected by it.

Sometimes illnesses are a manifestation of alexithymia or a reaction to taboo

And this is not so easy to recognize, but it is very important.

Due to insufficient vocabulary, inability to express their feelings using words and simply an elementary misunderstanding of any connections and processes of the adult world, the child expresses his experiences through the body.

Usually these are “undiscussed” or “secret” topics, for example, the topic of death, the topic of loss, the topic of sex, the topic of violence (psychological, physical, economic, etc.), etc. It is impossible to insure against this, and as practice shows, they are subjected to the same violence and children with whom parents discussed such issues, and children with whom conversations were not held. This happens not only with older children, but also with babies. The first signs that something is going wrong can be sudden changes in behavior, academic performance, nightmares, bedwetting, etc.

Sometimes illnesses come to children through generations

From great-grandparents, not from psychological climate in a new family. Psychological theories You have most likely already read about hereditary pathological patterns. It’s easy to imagine them in the form of an old joke in which:

The granddaughter cut the wings of the turkey, put it in the oven and, thinking about why such tasty parts should be thrown away, asked her mother:

- Why do we cut the turkey’s wings?

- Well, my mother - your grandmother always did this.

Then the granddaughter asked her grandmother why she should trim the turkey’s wings, and the grandmother replied that her mother did it that way. The girl had no choice but to go up to her great-grandmother and ask why it was customary in their family to cut the wings of a turkey, and the great-grandmother said:

- I don’t know why you trim, but I had a very small oven and the whole turkey didn’t fit into it.

As an inheritance from our ancestors, we receive not only necessary and useful attitudes and skills, but also those that have lost their value and significance, and sometimes even turned destructive (for example, the attitude of ancestors who survived the famine “there is a supply”, like cause childhood obesity). Therefore, discovering a connection with a specific past event can be quite difficult at first glance, because again, there are no particular conflicts in the family, the mother is relatively mentally stable, etc.. But it’s possible)

Sometimes childhood illnesses are just a given

It happens that parents lead an immoral lifestyle, smoke, drink, etc., and they give birth to absolutely healthy children. And it happens that a long-awaited child, born with love and care, is born with a pathology. Nobody knows for sure why this happens. Neither doctors, nor psychologists, nor priests, everyone only speculates and often these versions exclude one another.

The pathology can be clearly expressed, or it can be indirect, and in this case there will always be someone who will “explain” to the mother that she thinks wrong, does wrong, etc., because “all diseases come from the brain, and childhood diseases come from the brains of their parents! If there is an opportunity to tactfully explain to such people that “ worst advice unsolicited” would be the best option.

Of course, mothers of special children may often wonder what they did wrong. And there can be only one answer - everything was done as it should have been done. Do not take on the blame that is imposed on you by “psychosomatic well-wishers.”

In psychotherapy there is such a direction as “positive psychology and psychotherapy”. It comes from the understanding that the events that happen to us are initially neither bad nor good, but simply as they are. Any situation can be taken for granted, simply as a fact that happened: “yes, it happened and that’s how it is.” And any situation can be given the direction of development - “yes, this happened to us, no one is to blame for this, I could not influence this event earlier, but I can make every effort to direct our life with the data that already exists.” in a constructive direction."

And finally, I want to remind mothers that children who are often sick for a long time do not necessarily have more psychological difficulties and problems in the family than children whose health seems ideal to us. The body is just one of the options for processing energy, including mental. Someone's child solves his problems and family problems through studies, someone's through character, someone's through behavior, etc. This, of course, is a reminder not for gloating, but so that you understand that if childhood illnesses happen in your families more often than in others, you should not reproach yourself for parental failure, but enlist the support of doctors and psychologists.

Child psychosomatics is the entire range of experiences of a child which, due to age, he cannot express and manifests itself precisely in frequent illnesses and whims. However, everything can be sorted out and the source of the problem can be eliminated. Trust your child listen and heed him!

It's no secret that children get sick. But most often and most intensely it begins during the period of adaptation in the garden. Yes, of course there are factors - many children, adults, a different environment, microbes...

But most parents, even before kindergarten, begin to take their children to children’s development clubs, shops, walks in the courtyards, giving the child the opportunity to communicate with peers... but that’s when they stay WITHOUT US- begin to go to kindergarten, school, new team- they get sick much more actively! And sometimes, for reasons that are not entirely clear to us.

Most parents immediately begin to treat their children, give pills, mixtures, syrups, and run to doctors (after all, viruses and germs really do occur). In fact, in a number of cases it is necessary to pay close attention to relationships in the family, the child’s ways of communicating with peers and the children’s team - child psychosomatics is the cause of many physiological ailments. The baby subconsciously triggers mechanisms that lead to the occurrence of diseases. Moreover, he has learned well that during illness his mother is always next to him, pitying and caressing him, so he uses this scheme every time you start to feel lonely.

Psychosomatic causes of childhood illnesses

Often a child gets sick due to lack of attention, overprotection or an unfavorable atmosphere in the family - these are the main psychosomatic sources of childhood illnesses.

Child has a sore throat- he is either very offended or suffers from the inability to express his opinion. The parents of such a child often cut off his initiative, stopping him with requests to be silent, not to interfere, and do for him what he is able to do on his own.

If every cold is accompanied cough, then this is an internal protest - the baby does not want to do something, but is afraid to openly object. A child whose freedom is constantly limited by prohibitions will have breathing problems - pneumonia, bronchitis, bronchial asthma. Asthma It can also be a manifestation of the opposite behavior - parents literally suffocate the child with their care, and do not allow them to take a step on their own.

Almost all children attending kindergartens suffer from chronic runny nose - this is a sign that not all is well in the team. The child tries to protect himself from situations or people who do not suit him (teachers, peers, relatives), so at home such a runny nose goes away, and recurs only when a source of irritation appears. The second reaction to life in a team is ear diseases, which can also be the result of swearing, scandals and raised conversations that the child hears.

Complaints about stomach ache parents should be alerted - something is frightening the child. At the baby's teeth spoil– perhaps he is trying to restrain his emotions, anger or strong irritation.

Skin problems – allergic dermatitis, chickenpox, the appearance of a rash and other reflections internal state they say that the child is trying to establish a distance between adults and himself. The same overprotectiveness, which manifests itself in regular touching, hugs, kisses, leads to the fact that the baby subconsciously puts up a barrier - he needs personal space. Urinary disorders and bedwetting appear in children who tend to control themselves, fearing a negative reaction from their parents.

The best part about all this is that if you notice this trend, then in tandem with good specialist everything can be dealt with! And illnesses and problems will bypass your family! Good luck to all Parents!