Why do people break up when they love each other. Why do people love each other - Do people have good reasons to love each other

Love is gone. It would seem why this could be such a mystery, people who were madly in love with each other suddenly stopped feeling this feeling. What are the reasons?

Veronica's story: Veronica and her boyfriend were perfect couple. When they met, they realized that they had been waiting for each other all their lives. They had the same hobbies, they liked the same things, they considered each other kindred spirits. This happiness lasted for two years, until her boyfriend suddenly began to move away. In the end, he broke up with her, and when she asked for what reason, he simply replied that he simply did not love her anymore.

Has this happened to you or someone you know? Disappointment... Does true love come to be not forever?

It is difficult to give a definite answer to this question, but one piece of advice can be given - you need to consider your perception of "true love" and know one thing, that all that glitters is not gold.

High expectations of true love, exaggerated perfect concept love, which can thereby violate the full and healthy relationships. A realistic look is vital.

What is the main reason why people stop loving each other?

Of course, there are many reasons why people fell out of love, but love cannot be equated with falling in love, these are two completely different feelings.
Falling in love is a deception, an illusion. A person cannot take and stop loving, because no one loses his love overnight.
There are 3 main reasons why people don't love more and therefore break up with their partners.

1. Their expectations were not met

If you meet a person who really attracts you, you tend to idealize things. You will fall in love with this person because this moment everything will be so new to you, so fresh. You will discover everything over and over again with great pleasure. positive traits your partner. But, unfortunately, soon all your needs and expectations will not come true and you will finally take off your rose-colored glasses.

The problem here is that your opinion of your partner is not always realistic. After all, he and you are doing everything possible, trying to show yourself from the best side and hide your shortcomings in every possible way. Through his efforts to show himself in best light your partner and you live up to each other's expectations at the beginning, but later in the relationship, when the fire of passion cools down a bit, you tend to take off your masks and show yourself the real you. Now you and your partner act differently, not so reverently, not so carefully, not so diligently in relation to the other half.

And now, after you have opened up, your relationship comes to conflict, because those expectations and promises that are not fulfilled by your partner and you will begin to feel deceived.

2. Have you really experienced love?

Another problem is that people very often cannot tell if they love or not. Sometimes they confuse passion and sexual satisfaction with love.

This happens very often when people are young, or when people have been in long-term relationships for a long time. They confuse long-term satisfaction with love.

But after they sexual desire fades away, they suddenly lose interest and stop loving. Of course, it's not love in the first place, which is why feelings are fleeting.

3. Abuse

Unfortunately, this happens often, especially with men, at first he is soft and kind, and later they become rude and hard.

Violence is, of course, the most extreme case. Very often, partners suddenly change their behavior in such a way that it becomes unbearable. Drug and alcohol abuse are common examples of this change.

Conclusion

Knowing these 3 reasons why people fall out of love can be helpful for us. They can teach you how to behave in the beginning of a relationship.
We must have realistic expectations in a partner and relationship, and above all, we must be who we really are from the very beginning.

By pretending to be okay with everything and by cutting back on your basic needs, you will be showing your partner a false picture of you, a picture that will fade over time and possibly your partner or you will eventually stop loving.

On the one hand, you can see a lot of happy and loving couples, but it’s not clear, because you need to continue to love and be together. There are many reasons for this, but you need to know the most basic reasons for breaking up so as not to fall into the same situation.

In the article, psychologists will tell you about why do people break up when they love each other, how to prevent this in your family or relationships. After all, outwardly we see happy couples, but internally we understand that soon these people will part.

'Cause love isn't real

Not everyone understands what love is and, accordingly, believe that if people are together, then they love each other. Today it is rare to see people who are truly in love, and this a big problem. People have not learned to take care of what they have and have begun to invent the illusion of love, creating it even on the Internet. The reason why people break up when they love each other is because they don't really love and didn't love each other.

Because there are no common interests

main reason, why do people break up that there are no common interests and outlooks on life. These people just meet and they don’t even have anything to talk about with each other. Because of this, they part, not even trying to find at least something in common, which can definitely be found in every person, there would be a desire. Find out: how to find a worthy husband, as women are looking for a real man, but they themselves do not want to become real women.

They do not understand the meaning of further relationships

Often all relationships are created on emotions and when a couple begins to think logically, they do not find the meaning of further relationships and this is the reason why people break up when they love each other, because their love was just affection.

Changed interests

It happens that people for a long time meet, but with age, their interests and outlook on life change and they need something different in life. Disagreements begin in interests and as a result, people part. But if there was a desire, it would be possible to stay together and form new common interests.

People rush to create relationships

Especially today's youth, constantly somewhere in a hurry and trying to try everything. Here why do people break up when they love each other, as they confuse falling in love, affection with true love. True love will never allow people to break up and betray each other, and this is a problem, since few people truly love. Don't rush to cost serious relationship, make friends and walk together for at least 1-2 years. Then it will become clear whether you need each other spiritually or not.

Betrayal, betrayal

The main reason why people break up when they love each other is, of course, betrayal and betrayal in a relationship or family. People do not love each other and seek pleasure in other people, hiding it. When the truth becomes reality, the couple is disappointed and breaks up. After all, it makes no sense to live with someone who changes and gives.

Love disappears

Many consider the reason why people break up when they love each other, then that love is gone and gone. It doesn't happen, love can't pass because real love always is and will be in our hearts, we just don’t want to feel it, and we continue to create artificial love for ourselves and believe in it. For this reason, not only couples break up, but also families within three years of marriage. Find out: How to get to know a guy to create a truly lasting relationship for life.

The main thing is not to rush to create a family and relationships, because no one bothers you just for the first time to be friends and meet. And when you realize that you love, then after three years, you can create a serious relationship and family. And if there are no feelings, then you will simply remain friends, and you will not suffer like many because of what was not there, because of affection, and not because of love.

Keep love always in your heart and then you will never stop loving and love that person who really loves you and wants to be with you all his life.

More recently, you could not live without each other, but now love is gone ... Why do people suddenly stop experiencing this feeling? What are the reasons and can it be avoided?

The fact is that even the most ideal relationship needs work. Each of the partners periodically needs manifestations of love and appreciation. No one wants to be taken for granted, betrayed, deceived, or misunderstood.

Love always requires more than friendship or sympathy. She needs our presence, trust and respect. Falling in love is easy. It is much more difficult to keep this light.

Here are the top 12 reasons people fall out of love.

1. Lack of communication
When a relationship is just beginning, people have a lot in common. Lovers talk about everything in the world, because they are interested in getting to know each other. They enjoy their own similarity. Unfortunately, in many couples, such close communication fades over time.

There are 4 ways of interacting in a couple that spoil relationships: non-constructive criticism, contempt (sarcasm), protection and obstruction (silent protest).

Psychologists say that very often constructive communication stops due to the fact that partners simply do not know how to properly discuss problems. At first, you are afraid to upset or anger your loved one with inappropriate questions, and then you stop sharing even important experiences with him.

2. Separate pastime
You used to go everywhere together, but in Lately more and more often you go somewhere one by one. If you enjoy spending time away from your partner rather than with them, this is clear sign that the relationship needs to be saved.

3. Habit
As time passes, many couples begin to take their relationship for granted. They stop touching, kissing and praising each other. Such partners are more like roommates than passionate lovers.

Sometimes we need time to understand how important a loved one is, and then passionate feelings return by themselves. But, most likely, you will have to seriously work on it. Together.

4. Uncertainty in a partner

When romantic infatuation fades, we begin to feed on each other's insecurities. In such a relationship, jealousy begins to play a leading role. When there is a lack of attention in a couple, we begin to notice that our partner somehow behaves differently with others. And it's not at all that he might change. We just want to feel what it was before. And your jealousy and insecurity is transferred to him ...

So between the lovers begins the battle for self-esteem and recognition. It is better to immediately discuss issues of jealousy without accusations and criticism.

5. Desire for change
Over time, people change. Or, to be more true, they become who they have always been at heart. Your partner, who has had a career in business, may suddenly realize that he has always dreamed of being a comedian and change his life dramatically. Are you ready for this?

The desire for change, which often leads to the loss of love, is always associated with the desire to be someone you hide inside.

A great way to avoid this is to be open with your partner from the start and accept their decisions if they make them happy. Change is an essential part of any relationship. You must swim in the stream of life, otherwise boredom will extinguish the flame of your love.

6. “There is no more attraction…”
What kills passion? Not being able to have fun together! One day you get into a rut and you can't get out of it. You stop having candlelit evenings and no longer make little surprises for your loved one.

Don't forget that you fell in love with this person for many reasons. Passion is ignited not only through recognition and compassion!

7. Infidelity
Many people can instantly fall out of love as soon as they find out about the infidelity of a partner. Change is one of the most common causes parting. Even one single case can be the last straw!

8. Inability to forgive

There is nothing worse than old grudges. Especially if we are still correcting some situation by constantly thinking about it.

Sometimes we hurt each other without realizing that we mean something completely different.

It is difficult to keep love if you still remember what your partner once did. No one will be able to move on in such a situation! So let the past go or you! You cannot build a healthy relationship by constantly feeling pain.

9. Insincerity
Deception, omissions and other secrets can, over time, nullify even the most strong love. Of course, this is not a betrayal that completely destroys trust, but for some reason it doesn’t get any easier.

Not agreeing in a relationship is the same as lying. Learn to speak frankly about everything. After all, you have nothing to hide?

10. Unwillingness to compromise

Relationships, where there is a place for selfishness, sooner or later must end. Gradually, partners stop caring about the feelings of a loved one and do only what they see fit.

If no one in the couple wants to compromise, this indicates a lack of respect and love. It is impossible to love a person without accepting his desires!

11. Unrealistic expectations
When you got married, you sincerely believed that you had found your happiness. Unfortunately, in fairy tales about love, nothing is said about the fact that after the wedding a completely different story begins.

You met your fairy prince and he really was like that. You fell in love with the ideal image of this person, but after a while the love potion stopped working... And at that moment, it was like a veil fell from your eyes!

When people get to know each other better, it begins to seem to them that they are incompatible. And that's okay!

Take it for granted that the two of you may have separate interests, friends, and hobbies. Codependency hasn't saved any relationship yet!

12. Love wasn't real

Sometimes people are really wrong. What you sincerely thought was the love of your life turned out to be just a passion. This often happens if the relationship begins quickly and thoughtlessly.

Passion passes when responsibility begins!

Love is eternal. Of course, even in ideal relationships there are difficult stages. No person is immune from illness, financial difficulties and other life vicissitudes. But when you truly love a person, you are ready to share with him the responsibility for the well-being of your couple.

If you notice any of the above signs in yourself or your partner, then it is time to urgently change something in your relationship. Before it's too late!

Likes and dislikes arise between strangers sometimes instantly and most often we can give them a clear explanation. With love, it's much more difficult. How, with what words to explain what is happening in the soul of a man in love and why he chose this particular object for his love? Psychologists have long and persistently argued that it is completely pointless to look for a reasonable reason for love, but people continue to dig to the depths of the origin of this feeling.

Love by Science

Scientists echo them. For centuries, scientists of all sciences have been trying to figure out the mechanism that drives people in love. They have long been interested in the question - why does a man fall in love with this particular woman and no other? But there were no definite conclusions, and there are still none, and those that have appeared are rather small and incomprehensible. The most famous is that men love with their eyes, and women with their ears. This fact is indeed confirmed scientific research. Another conclusion of scientists: falling in love is not a random impulse, but a pattern and even a necessity. People, guided by the subconscious, from the many applicants choose the one that is best suited as a companion for procreation. Recently, scientists have made an amazing discovery. They argued that love really exists.

American psychologists, having studied the human brain, found in it special zones responsible for love emotions. When loving person sees his beloved, communicates with him, even thinks about him, these zones are activated. And activated so much that they block normal work all other zones. The zones where a real understanding of the situation, assessments of the world around, anger and irritability are developed are almost completely turned off. Therefore, the first sign of a person in love is an increased smile, a state of euphoria and an optimistic-inadequate social behavior. But the answer was never received - how a person chooses whom to love.

Love from the subconscious

There is an assumption that the feeling of love is caused by pheromones secreted by our body. But for some reason, I don’t want to believe at all that the basis of tender feelings is not our attractive appearance and beautiful soul, but just chemical reactions beyond our will. But scientists say that these chemical substances, secreted through the skin along with sweat and then inhaled by a potential partner, affect his subconscious. But scientists did not understand the mechanism of this effect, its selectivity and patterns. But the fact remains that very often excellent girls fall in love with hooligans, while frank ugly girls have whole army handsome fans. There is another not very intelligible explanation for this - opposites attract, that is, people who are very different from each other become attached and interested in each other. Of course it is. But in what true reason- in the polarity of their pheromones or mutual interest - it is not clear. It is logical that the same people there is nothing to say and show to each other, so they will get bored very quickly. And from here conflicts and divergence in different sides. Far from always the similarity of temperaments and life positions is a guarantee of a long and happy family life. Two passive human they are not able to make decisions in a timely manner, arrange their affairs, hence mutual dissatisfaction with each other will grow. Conversely, two leaders may not get along on the same territory, since each will defend his only correct opinion with foam at the mouth.

If the question “Why does he love me?” is so much tormenting, you can come up and ask directly. But, most likely, the answer will be banal and will not satisfy you. Often in such cases, men say common phrases, list those of your virtues that come to mind right now. Both he and you will know that the answer is superficial and very inaccurate. His originality will be higher only if your man is distinguished by resourcefulness, intelligence and the ability to present beautifully. But you know that there will be little in common with the truth.

What do you want - to a stupid question, a template answer is not the most worst case. Indeed, in order to accurately convey in words the cause of feelings, one must at least know it. And since love arises in the subconscious, it is impossible to consciously explain it. After all, often we do not think about the reasons for making our choice. Without realizing it, one is looking for a father in a man, the other, on the contrary, is looking for a child. The third likes dashing guys, and therefore she could not fall in love with a nerd. The fourth needs to be commanded and dominated, so she chooses someone who is already ready in advance for the role of henpecked.

And if a girl has a Cinderella complex, then she will definitely choose an analogue of her stepmother as her husband, she will suffer from humiliation, but otherwise she simply does not know how. For another ideal man, the sexy Casanova and, accordingly, she falls in love with a noteworthy heartthrob and all her life meekly endures his betrayals. There are women who do not see anything wrong with periodic scuffles and even justify it. It is not surprising that they cannot fall in love with a gentle and kind man.

Love or "self-hypnosis"

Growing up, the girl, seeing the example of her parents in front of her, listening to the tales of princes and evil sorcerers, is already beginning to invent for herself the image of her future lover. In faces and colors, she imagines an acquaintance, his courtship. Already planning the wedding, the number and names of the children. This model is of great importance for an adult personal life women. It is by her that she will build her life, she will be the measure ideal relationship. Is it possible to create, inspire love? Can. This is what the girl does, dreaming of her prince. When she grows up, she will subconsciously build her life in such a way that it is combined with an imaginary future happiness, she will unconsciously weed out applicants who are not suitable for the role of a loved one and look for him, the only one. And if you can agree to change the details, then in general the model sits so deep in the mind that it categorically directs the actions of the girl from there. If a woman finds her ideal man, then she is happy. And if you are unhappy, then you need to change not only the man, but also the model, otherwise the next one will be exactly the same. But it is extremely difficult to change the model in adulthood, which is why it is so important to lay the right idea for a little girl about family harmony, about her own honor and dignity.

Each seeks its own and finds. The one that seeks material well-being, will definitely meet a rich prince who can make her rich. And what is most interesting, she will love him sincerely, since he meets her criteria. perfect man. And it will be difficult to reproach her for selfish motives. She simply cannot fall in love with a poor man, since no spiritual qualities or appearance are for her. important qualities. It's just that her standard includes required condition- wealth. And all the other qualities - intelligence, attentiveness, external attractiveness - are already pleasant bonuses.

As you can see, love is not blind at all. Cupid's arrow always hits right on target. And we love for those qualities that we need and are important for, for the sake of which we can even turn a blind eye to shortcomings, sometimes major ones. But, if you are happy, you should not dig into love. She is a subtle matter, and does not tolerate rough interference. Just love with all your heart.

Sometimes it’s easy for us to answer why we like this or that person. And to explain why someone, on the contrary, is unsympathetic to us, is quite simple. What if we are talking about love? How to describe in words why exactly and for what people love each other? Although leading psychologists say that it is impossible to explain the love for someone, we will not ask ourselves less from this ...

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Photo gallery: Why people love each other

Love and science

For many years, world scientists have been trying to figure out what makes women fall in love with men and vice versa. There are few conclusions, they are short and known to all of us. Men by nature prefer to love with their eyes, and women with their ears. These are not just words - it is really backed by science. Scientists also say that we fall in love not under the influence of a fleeting impulse, but out of necessity. We subconsciously find the person who will most contribute to the continuation of our kind. But recently new amazing facts. Scientists have proven that love actually exists!

As a result of research by American psychologists, it was proved that our brain contains separate zones responsible for love experiences. And when a loved one thinks about us, sees us, communicates, these zones become very active. Moreover, these zones “clog” the work of other important zones. For example, a zone responsible for critical understanding of reality, social assessment and anger. Therefore, if your loved one walks with a constant smile on his face, then he has not gone crazy, he just truly loves you. Just for what?

Love and the subconscious

No one wants to believe that we are loved only because of the action of pheromones. But this is largely true. These are substances that are produced together with the release of sweat and on a subconscious level attract a sexual partner. Pheromones act indiscriminately, we can not always explain the principle of their "work". That is why “good” girls sometimes choose “bad” guys, or outwardly unattractive ones fall in love with beauties, and at the same time their feelings are mutual. We often explain this attachment of dissimilar people in our own way: opposites attract. This is not entirely true in essence, but the result is very similar to the truth. Two people who are similar in everything can easily get bored together. On this basis, conflicts can often arise. And yet, if two people have a similar temperament, then it is not easy for them to live in a family. If both are passive, then there is no one to make decisions, things simply remain unresolved, problems accumulate like a snowball. If both partners are leaders, then the situation is also not easy. Everyone will strive for leadership, will not yield in resolving issues, will not tolerate disobedience.

Sometimes you can, in order to save yourself from questions, come up and ask your loved one directly why he loves you. That's just the answer is usually not enough for us. Most likely, the partner will begin to list individual external traits or character traits. For example, your boyfriend may say: “You are so beautiful, funny, not like everyone else, etc.”. An older man, if he thinks to say something, then something like: "You are caring, sexy, affectionate, original, etc." Note that this will be an ordinary "standard" set of those qualities that attract men in women, and women in men.

Sometimes such an answer will indeed be more like a template than a plausible one. But on a subconscious level, we are loved for a completely different reason. For example, a girl suddenly fell in love with a man twice her age. Why did it happen? He can be perfect in any way, but in general this happened only because the girl grew up without a father and subconsciously searched for a man who could be her support, protection, who would educate her by virtue of his greater life experience. On the other hand, it may be that the girl had a father, but relations with him did not develop. This further influences the choice of a partner older than himself.

It happens that a person is initially inclined to suffer and arouse pity for himself. He chooses a despotic partner who will constantly humiliate and suppress him. That is why certain types of women can steadfastly endure the beatings and betrayals of their husbands, or a man can choose women who are powerful and selfish, being subsequently “under their thumb”. At the same time, they all sincerely love each other.

Love and "self-hypnosis"

In childhood, we all somehow figuratively represented our other half. Moreover, sometimes, closing our eyes, we have already clearly seen how they love us, how they take care of us, we see in detail our ideal wedding, we dream of having children. It is believed that it is precisely those women who, from childhood, were able to draw up a clear model (necessarily positive) of their adulthood, in the future, this is the kind of life they get. It has been proven that love can be inspired. We so inspire ourselves with our future ideal feeling that it is literally attracted to us over the years. True, sometimes the details do not match, but the essence remains unchanged. Such women are always happy in marriage; in such families, partners love each other selflessly.

It also happens, for example, when a girl has dreamed all her life of meeting a rich man who, in a fit of love, will shower her with precious gifts, fashionable clothes, go with her to trip around the world. Growing up, she meets such a person on the way. He is decent, a businessman and not greedy at all. So, she will definitely fall in love. It is already clear what will be the main advantage of a man for such a girl. However, one should not immediately condemn her for selfishness. As a man, she will love him madly, truly. Because such is the power of her self-hypnosis. True, if it were not for his financial situation, he simply would not fit her “childish standard”. Such a man would not become wise, gallant and attentive for her, because he would not have the original basic quality.

We often say: "Love is evil ...". However, love is not as irrational as it seems - people love each other for a reason. Everything can, if desired, find its own explanation. True, why? It is better to love without looking back and with an open heart.