Destructive criticism is the root of many personality problems and hostile relationships between people. What is constructive criticism

Every day we endure criticism from numerous people. Behavior, statements, appearance, etc. are subject to evaluation. And this evaluation is not always pleasant. If the meaningful views of a stranger can be ignored, then the statements of relatives or friends are sometimes perceived very painfully. However, we ourselves also evaluate other people. How to express your opinion correctly so as not to cause negative emotions?

Criticism and its types

Having an opinion and expressing it out loud is normal. That is what is called criticism. What matters is how it is presented. Constructive criticism aims to be useful, to point out mistakes and how to correct them. It is expressed in the form of advice, objective analysis, recommendations. Destructive criticism is also a way to give an assessment, but it does not carry any benefit. This method is used to make a person lose his temper and, under the influence of momentary emotions, abandon his plans.

Principles of constructive criticism

• Objectivity. Express your opinion, but do not pretend that it is the only true one.
• Concreteness. Focus on specific points, not on the whole work.
• Argumentation. Show what your assessment is based on, justify your opinion.
• Experience and practice. Examples from personal life are very revealing. Tell us how you avoided mistakes or corrected them.
• Professionalism. If you are well versed in the issue that you criticize, then you will be listened to. Otherwise, you risk being branded as an amateur.
• No transition to personality. Criticize the work, not the person, show respect for the opponent.
• Focus on the positives. Pointing out the shortcomings of the work, do not forget to mention its merits.

How to criticize

When evaluating the actions of another person, it is important that he hears what you have to say. Here are some rules for constructive criticism:

1. Express your opinion when you are one on one with a person. Respect your opponent, do not make his mistakes public.
2. Suggest solutions to the problem. Help with advice or deed, otherwise the meaning of criticism will be unclear.
3. Keep calm. The opponent will respond to aggressive statements with aggression.
4. Evaluate work in a timely manner. If constructive criticism is expressed after a long time, you will be considered a quarrelsome, vindictive person.
5. Alternate negative moments with praise. A person will feel that he is valued, despite the mistakes made. He will try to justify the trust and will not make such mistakes in the future.
6. Criticism is a dialogue. Let your opponent speak. Perhaps he could not influence the situation that led to the errors.
7. You can't criticize by referring to others. Be responsible for your words, otherwise you will be accused of spreading gossip.
8. When the causes of errors and solutions are found, leave this question. No need to constantly remind the opponent of his mistakes.
9. If the opponent is irritated and unable to adequately perceive your words, postpone the conversation for a while.

Scope of constructive criticism

Evaluating is not as easy as it seems. Sometimes even a very restrained critic can lose his temper and be overly emotional. But there are areas in which destructive criticism is unacceptable in any case.

The first relates to the leader-subordinate relationship. With the help of constructive criticism, it is necessary to correct the actions of the employee. Otherwise, the person will perform poorly and will have to be fired.

Another area is the educator (parent, teacher) - the child. Destructive criticism reduces the self-esteem of a small person. If a child is constantly told that he does everything badly, then he grows into a weak, insecure person.

The third area is education. Constructive criticism of the teacher guides the student, helps to eliminate mistakes and gain new knowledge. A negative assessment has the opposite effect - the desire to learn disappears, knowledge is not acquired.

Examples of constructive criticism

How easy it is to express your opinion under the influence of emotions ... The result of destructive criticism is resentment and unwillingness to listen. But you can say the same thing with different words. Let's look at a few examples.

• “What were you thinking when you wrote the report? This is no good! Change everything immediately!"

Nobody likes a rude boss. It is better to say about the shortcomings in a different way:

• “Ivan Ivanovich, you are a good specialist, but the figures in the last column of the report are incorrect. Fix them please. I hope you will be more careful next time. Your diligence and responsibility are valuable qualities for our company.”

• “Why are you wearing that awful dress? It has a bad color and hangs on you like a sack."

After such a phrase, a quarrel with a friend is guaranteed. Better to rephrase:

• “I really liked the dress you wore at the weekend. It well emphasizes the figure, and the color to the face. And this outfit is too pale for you. Besides, you have a beautiful figure, and this dress hides it.

• “Ham! You can't connect a couple of words! You're talking nonsense!"

An argument in a work environment will escalate into a quarrel if both opponents are unrestrained. It's better to say:

• “No need to be rude. I think you should apologize. Don't rush to answer next time. You are too emotional. First calm down, consult, then express your opinion.

How not to respond to criticism

1. “I was criticized, so I won’t succeed.” Low self-esteem is the first step to failure. Even if the result of the work done turned out to be imperfect, this is not a reason to become discouraged. You must always believe in yourself, and criticism will help correct the situation.
2. “They spoke to me too emotionally, which means that I do everything badly.” What is important is not so much the form of presentation of the assessment as its content. Both constructive and destructive criticism can be expressed too emotionally. It's all about the person who voices their opinion. Here it is important to discard unnecessary emotions and hear useful recommendations.
3. “They criticize me. We need to respond urgently." An instant reaction to an assessment is not always good. If the criticism was destructive, the opponent spoke in a raised voice, then there is a risk that you will be drawn into this emotional state, and a quarrel will result in communication. It is better to take a break, calm down and think over your answer.
4. “If they criticize me, then they find fault with me.” See other people's evaluations as a help, not as a way to throw you off balance. Criticized? Not scary. Now you know what not to do, and do not make mistakes in the future.
5. "I don't care if they criticize me." The lack of response to an assessment is just as bad as an instant response. Think about what lies behind the criticism? Maybe you are in danger, and the opponent warns about it.
6. "I'm frustrated by the criticism so I can't do anything." Don't take other people's opinions to heart. Constructive criticism provides an opportunity to avoid mistakes or correct them. The main thing is to be less emotional when making a decision.
7. “They criticize me because they don’t like me / quarreled / they envy me ...” The search for motives can lead to the opposite result. While you are looking for the reasons for the criticism, the time for correcting errors will be lost. It is more important to understand what they say, and not why they do it.
8. “Everyone criticizes me because they don’t understand anything.” If different people give the same rating, think about it, maybe you are doing something wrong.
9. “They don’t tell me anything, so I’m doing everything right.” Criticism is not always explicit. For example, a subordinate or unfamiliar person cannot speak openly. However, some actions or words may be hidden criticism. It is important to see it and take action if common sense prevails in the assessment, and not emotions.

Criticize properly. But if possible, it is better to refrain from statements. Criticism can hurt and destroy good relationships.

What is constructive and destructive criticism? How to express your opinion without offending a person? Or vice versa, how can we understand that the opinion expressed by another person is constructive criticism, and not the desire to assert ourselves at our expense? After all, constructive criticism itself is an important element of personal growth. It helps to identify shortcomings, gaps, lack of information and much more. But one must clearly separate the concept of criticism in order to understand what is at stake. Constructive and destructive criticism, feedback and personal attacks are known. Let's figure out what constructive criticism is and how to use it correctly.

The concept and content of constructive criticism

You are given an opinion about the results or process of your work, give advice or evaluation, and these words are useful - here what does constructive criticism mean.

Principles of constructive criticism:

Respect, that is, there is no transition to the individual.
Accounting for nuances, that is, the critic recognizes that the result can be evaluated in other ways.
Attitude to the case, that is, specific aspects of the case are evaluated.
The presence of examples.
Concreteness, that is, criticism is set out in detail.
Objectivity, that is, the critic does not claim to be the ultimate truth.

Of course, when we are praised, it inspires us, and when we are criticized, on the contrary, it is despondent. But how to respond to criticism is up to you to decide for yourself. Any criticism can turn out to be a storehouse of tips and directions in development, correction of mistakes, self-improvement. Correct criticism inspires new results, makes you move on, opens up new perspectives. Therefore, it is very important to choose the right critics for your work.

It is important to understand that constructive criticism is not based on statements about what went wrong or badly. And how to do it better. For example, "Where are you going?" is a destructive statement. “It’s better to go from this side” is constructive.

Criticism is destructive

"I used to look at criticism as admiration mixed with envy." Francis Fitzgerald.

Destructive criticism occurs when the critic does not know how to correctly express his point of view, or does not understand what he is talking about at all. It is worse when both occur at the same time. When a person is incompetent and undertakes to reveal someone else's mistakes, he more often discovers his own. Therefore, one must be able to distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism and respond correctly to it.

Types of destructive criticism

Disrespect - Criticism is spoken harshly and aggressively.
Indiscriminateness - alternative points of view are not recognized, everything is perceived in extremes.
Irrelevant - the evaluation criteria are not relevant to the case.
Unsubstantiated - conclusions are not substantiated, examples are not given.
Nebula - estimates are given by general judgments without clarifications.
Biasedness - the critic is sure that he is right and does not recognize that he can be wrong.

If the person from whom the destructive criticism comes is of little importance to you, you can ignore him. Worse, when it is important for you to continue further communication with him. After all, such criticism does not give us the opportunity to save our face in front of the critic and others. Moreover, it concentrates our strength on the fight against negative emotions, deprives us of faith in ourselves. There is no benefit from this, but there is a lot of harm.

Personal insults

Having figured it out what is constructive and destructive criticism, let's look at another tool that critics often use, but which has a very distant relation to criticism. This is a personal insult, that is, offensive and impartial remarks with malicious intent. Most often they are resorted to when the arguments end, the critic is ignorant or has a lot of prejudice.

What to do when you hear judgments addressed to you? First of all, figure out what these judgments are:

Destructive criticism;
constructive criticism;
personal attacks;
Feedback.

And then act on the conclusions. If you receive feedback, be grateful for it. Moreover, it is better to look for it yourself, because without feedback, further development is very difficult.

Similarly, it is worth looking for sources of constructive criticism. First, learn to recognize it and respond appropriately. Consider each time what such criticism can teach you. It is necessary to listen to it, constantly interacting with the critic, asking him to clarify, comment, give an example, etc.

"God himself does not judge a man until his days are over." Samuel Johnson

destructive criticism should be ignored if it is expressed by a person who is not associated with the work being criticized. If it is connected, it is necessary to enter into a dialogue, clarify your position. Personal attacks should always be ignored and avoided without succumbing to provocations.

As a conclusion

The critic's opinion is not always true. And if he expresses it destructively, this is a reflection of his internal dissonance, and not real facts. So that someone else's criticism does not hurt you, you need to build your self-esteem on objective facts, and not on the opinions of others. It is changeable, and we may not be able to keep up with its changes. But even if the statements are justified, it is not at all necessary to worry too much about this.

Destructive criticism always has a negative connotation. Moreover, most often it is a projection of the negative state of the critic. Therefore, the only true way in the correct perception of criticism is self-knowledge and self-improvement. Think over and analyze your mistakes, create yourself and then constructive and destructive criticism will only benefit you.

Marina Nikitina

The world is arranged in such a way that all human actions, lifestyle are continuously evaluated by others and this assessment is not always positive. A negative opinion about someone's actions is called criticism.

Sooner or later, each of us is bound to be condemned. Moreover, the stronger the position of the criticized person, the brighter and more original her path, the more negative he hears in his address.

How to respond to the negative assessment of others? Is it worth listening to the opinions of people who do not share our views on life?

The benefits and harms of criticism

How criticism will respond to a person’s behavior depends on his attitude towards it: in some cases it will be beneficial, and in another time it will cause irreparable harm. People meet adequate and not so. With someone everything is like water off a duck's back: it is useless to criticize, for another there is enough hint to get upset. Criticism can also be different, depending on how it affects a person, what message it carries.

If the behavior of the criticized changes for the better, contributes to it, does not injure the psyche, then it automatically becomes useful, in other words, this is constructive criticism.

Its goal is the desire to help a person, open their eyes to their own shortcomings, mistakes, correct the situation, and has the following characteristic features:

Objectivity, fairness and appropriateness - comments are expressed specifically on the case, in order to correct the situation, and the person is not affected;
Argumentation and specificity - facts and evidence are given on which criticism is based;
Benevolence - when the act itself is condemned, and not the one who committed it. Along with the negative points, the positive aspects are indicated, the tone is respectful.

If reproaches against the criticized victim suppress a person, humiliate his dignity, are expressed in an offensive aggressive form, then such criticism is called destructive. It destroys the personality, causes mental suffering to its victim, and negatively affects the reputation.

Destructive criticism expresses a purely subjective and negative attitude towards the person being criticized, there is no other purpose than to offend the person, and has the following obvious features:

Bias - a biased attitude based on personal dislike for the criticized, an inadequate assessment of his behavior;
Unfoundedness - comments are made because the critic is annoyed and does not like everything, there are no clear reasoned justifications;
Pickiness - clinging to trifles that do not affect the course of the case in any way, and sometimes even have nothing to do with it;
Cruelty - remarks are uttered in a humiliating, tactless form or accompanied by gross insults against the accused, his feelings are not taken into account, the critic attacks his victim;
Transition to personalities - not actions are condemned, but the person himself

How to respond to objective criticism

Objective criticism is beneficial, motivating, and even if it takes destructive forms, you can still benefit from it.

A competent, psychologically prepared person will listen to her, separating constructive comments from, and focus on what will help him develop further.

Thanks to this approach, great celebrities made discoveries, brought great benefits to the world, achieved heights and universal recognition. Therefore, we must remember: it is difficult to take any comments with hostility.

A person who does not know how to admit his own mistakes is not able to improve in a positive way. In addition to destructive emotions that will undermine his health, he risks making a myriad of enemies, getting angry and becoming a grouchy, stubborn loser.

Directing all forces into the channel of enmity, instead of developing and improving, a person acts to his own detriment, which is what destructive criticism is designed for.

Learning to Criticize Constructively

Due to circumstances, we also have to become critics. Often, without thinking about the consequences, we succumb to negative emotions, in a fit of anger and irritation we offend people dear to our hearts. And then, when we lose their trust, we repent and blame ourselves for all the sins.

As a rule, our own children become victims of our criticism, and this is dangerous, because it forms, destroys and cripples their psyche.

Emotional outbursts occur, in most cases, uncontrollably and are the result of our own dissatisfaction or are explained by the inability to communicate.

Therefore, learn to criticize constructively, and for this, follow the basic rules:

criticize the person’s deeds without affecting his personality, for example: instead of the phrase “you are good for nothing”, say: “the work is good for nothing”, then clearly indicate what exactly you did not like;
note the positive aspects of the one who is accused, remember, for example, your shortcomings;
argue in private, public accusations hurt a person’s pride, even if they are fair;
focus on the main shortcomings, without finding fault with trifles;
tell me the options for solving the problem, perhaps your opponent simply does not know how to fix the situation;
control your own emotions by maintaining a respectful tone.

Showing indulgence to people, making relevant fair remarks in a benevolent form, we help them to see themselves from the outside, we contribute to their improvement.

March 22, 2014

CRITICISM- a project to create a better future, and not a condemnation of the present and past, depriving people of power over their present and future.

Constructive criticism- this is a specific proposal for improving what is already there with a clear description of the shortcomings of the criticized subject and their possible corrections. In constructive criticism, the assessment of noticed actions does not hurt the addressee's pride, it motivates him to correct it.

Destructive criticism are destructive actions. The essence of destructive criticism lies in the demonstration by the critic of his superiority, perhaps his power over the one to whom his criticism is directed.

Criticism manifests itself in different ways depending on different circumstances. Let's consider how criticism manifests itself on the example of a good, in general, worker Ivanov, who suddenly made a mistake in his report that led to an incorrect result. So, the boss's criticism of him may be as follows:

constructive in form and content. —There is a mistake in your report, you will have to redo everything.

Constructive in content, but destructive in form. Ivanov, you are an inattentive loafer.—made a mistake in their report. Redo everything!

Constructive in form, but destructive in content. Ivanov, please be more careful.—are often wrong. Everything will have to be redone.

Destructive both in form and content. Ivanov, you are a slacker—constantly making mistakes. Redo everything!

This example shows that there can be both benefit and harm from criticism, so it is very important to take these facts into account. It is possible to criticize justifiably, but it is important how it is done, whether the feelings of another person are offended or vice versa, they are given support and knowledge on how to become better.

The conclusion suggests itself: listening to constructive criticism in time, taking action and getting rid of the identified shortcomings will help to avoid unpleasant and unproductive destructive criticism in the future!

Quotes about criticism:

Swearing at the OPPONENT, a dispute over his PERSONAL qualities is rubbish in science; grains of OBJECTIVE truth are lost in it.
“Depressurization” ch.5, §8 “Trotskyism-“Leninism” takes “power””, p.76

On the perception of destructive criticism:
In almost every opinion, whether subjective in content, averting personal offense, or cynically offensive in form, there is something meaningful from objective truth; it is possible that this is a new KNOWLEDGE or the keys to it. They should not be lost just because the form of their presentation does not suit the opponent with whom the dispute is being fought for SUBJECTIVE reasons.
“Depressurization” ch.5, §8 “Trotskyism-“Leninism” takes “power””, p.81

... let us turn to the question of criticism that is really useful and criticism that is imaginary - always destructive.
Let's start with a well-known opinion: "The 'bazaar' needs to be filtered." If you do this, then you get criticism and self-criticism in the following sense: criticism is a project for creating the future. If the “bazaar” is not filtered, but called “criticism”, then permissiveness in swearing, fabrications, conjectures and gossip will spread discord and will not allow people to unite in any business that requires collective labor.

An. note “On the tasks for the future of the Conceptual Party “Unification” and non-party adherents of the Concept of Public Security”

The difference between constructive criticism and ordinary criticism is that a solution for improvement is proposed. At the same time, all words are spoken softly, without the desire to offend. Often at the end, help is offered to transform the situation or the work done, and all this leads to a harmonious relationship.

Features of constructive criticism

Correct and useful criticism does not begin with mistakes, but with praise. If a person has done something, this is already good, you first need to find positive moments, what was right, something to be proud of. If there is no such thing in the project, then you can find good qualities in the personality itself. Flattery is not appropriate, but upon closer examination, you can always find something positive.

Words are spoken not for the sake of humiliation, but for the sake of improving a person. Therefore, correctness is observed in expressions and images. Words are chosen carefully so as not to offend. If a person feels aggression, he is not able to take advice, he begins to defend himself. That is why it is necessary to avoid harsh phrases and condemnation.

To help a person, to make him better and more productive, you need to explain to him what was wrong. Sometimes the person himself does not realize his mistake, does not understand its consequences, it is worth paying attention to this, telling why others are not satisfied with it. Constructive criticism provides such an opportunity, because another of its steps is a story about why all this is not perfect.

After such communication, there is no feeling of resentment and disappointment, I don’t want to take revenge on the one who expressed his comments. It is immediately clear that this is not a method of emphasizing shortcomings, but a way to make a person better and more interesting. After such dialogues, relations do not deteriorate, but only become better.

How to accept criticism

If you find yourself in a situation where you are criticized, do not be nervous. This is not a reason to worry, because if a person was not interested in your improvement, he simply would not behave that way. In such circumstances, it is important to listen to what you are told, fix all the shortcomings and look for ways to solve the problem. Try to ask questions if something is not clear to you, delve into the details and write down tips for the future.

Usually people who know how to take criticism, and then also cope with work or communication using recommendations, are very appreciated. They both at work and in the family can be much happier than the rest. Correctly accepted criticism makes it possible to develop, achieve higher goals and build any communication correctly.