What kind of education should a psychotherapist have? This means that the psychotherapist just talks and that’s it.

You want it, but you don't know how and where to find a good psychologist? But you don't need a psychologist - he won't help you. Why? There are several reasons - let's figure it out...

Why can’t a good psychologist help you, even if Van needs one and you are trying to find a psychologist?

Do you have psychological, emotional problems? To you need a psychologist to solve them? You “wander” through the Internet and try find a good psychologist, for consultation and provision of psychological assistance to you?

In vain. A psychologist will not help you (not for everyone, of course, but for many...)

Causes for which a psychologist cannot help you, even if you really need him and you are carefully trying to find a good psychologist:

• Everyone, literally everyone, a priori cannot be happy and not suffer - such is life... BUT, every individual, family - very much possible;
• If you subconsciously expect magic and miracles;
• If you expect ready-made advice and do not want to take responsibility for your happiness;
• If you are expecting freebies, it’s free only in the “mousetrap”, where freeloaders always end up;
• If you don’t have a real desire to change yourself and your life - “real”, it means a willingness to work hard;
• If you initially want to shift responsibility for your change to a psychologist, but at the same time you do not want to be an active participant

In a word, if you don’t want to help yourself, then no psychologist, even the best (three times psychologist), will help you and make you happy (not counting, of course, the work of psychologists in emergency situations, crisis situations, for example, help from psychologists of the Ministry of Emergency Situations)…

How to find a psychologist or do you not need a psychologist?

The same people who really want to know how to find a psychologist and they need it, then they should distinguish between the services of psychologists - paid and free - in various difficult life situations.

The activities of psychologists in Russia are regulated (still draft) by the law on psychological assistance of the Russian Federation

Private psychologists and psychotherapists, as well as private psychological centers, by default do not provide free psychological assistance. A free consultation with a private psychologist can only be preliminary, introductory - otherwise, what will they live on... (i.e. the word “free” in an advertisement for a psychologist is a “temptation” or an acquaintance...)

Really free psychological consultation and assistance to the population is provided by state and municipal medical and psychological institutions and centers that have their own free phones trust (usually for numbers 8-800...).

As a rule, they provide free consultations to people in crisis and dangerous life situations. For example, with domestic violence, with suicidal thoughts, with disasters and natural disasters, with rape and other emergency psychological problems.

Also, in state medical and psychological institutions you can be seen for free by a psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist... But, as a rule, our “free” medicine is not free at all... the same antidepressants that help little and do not solve problems also cost money...

Therefore, only you can decide whether you need a psychologist or not, and if you do, then which one...

Where can you find a good psychologist who can help you?

If you still decide to find out, where to find a good psychologist, which will really help you, then you, first of all, should ask around from acquaintances and friends who have already contacted a specific psychologist.

However, it is not a fact that the psychologist who helped your friends will help you too - the important factor here is the establishment of psychological contact, psychotherapeutic intimacy, and not just the professionalism of the psychologist.

If you don't have such friends and you want find a good psychologist on the Internet, be sure to first consult with him personally by phone, email or Skype. And before that, read the beginning of this article again: “Why won’t a psychologist help you.” If you have something from the list of reasons, then think first...

Online help from a psychoanalyst (Oleg Matveev)

A good psychologist by E-mail (scriboterapiya),

This is the problem of problems in our society. Unfortunately, we are a society of amateurs. It’s hard to find a professional in any industry here. Each of you can tell how he was let down by cooks, mechanics, painters, plasterers, etc. That is why, despairing of finding professionals, many people (even wealthy ones) not only cook, repair plumbing, hang wallpaper, but also get treatment themselves. Science has nothing to do with it. She is highly developed in all areas. And if you encounter a bad psychotherapist, don’t criticize psychotherapy. She is on high level development and continues to develop rapidly.

Almost all authors of textbooks on psychotherapy and medical psychology, when depicting the appearance of a doctor, do not cite the requirement to be a professional in their field. So, N.D. Lakosina, G.K. Ushakov (1984) believe that a doctor must be both a citizen and a public figure. In addition, he must have a broad education and a highly moral basis of motivation. A doctor must be authoritative, have personal charm, be modest, optimistic, truthful, fair, honest, selfless, humane, and have a good word.

A quote from A.P. goes from textbook to textbook. Chekhov: “A doctor must be mentally clear, morally pure and physically tidy.”

I would also add to this that the doctor must be prosperous and happy man(especially when we're talking about about a psychotherapist engaged in person-oriented psychotherapy), as well as a professional. So first I want to talk about professionalism in general.

I would classify professionalism as a personal quality. Professional skills are sometimes developed quite slowly, but professionalism can be developed much faster. I call a professional someone who knows his professional capabilities, constantly develops them and never acts outside the scope of his competence. IN medical practice You can meet a professional novice doctor and an amateur professor. I know one very good psychiatrist who occupies a prominent position. Everything would be fine if he had not yet pretended to be a neurologist.

I will give you the main signs of a professional psychotherapist:
1. Treats his colleague with respect and will never offer his services unless asked, but will never refuse help if asked.
2. Timely and willingly resorts to the help of his colleagues and easily speaks of his incompetence in matters in which he is incompetent.
3. Never promises a cure to a patient, but only guarantees that he will make every effort to achieve this. After all, recovery also depends on the efforts of the patient. I know my role in treating the patient. I only help him go through the difficult path from illness to health, from misfortune to happiness. This is a path across an abyss on a bridge, and I am only a handrail-rope. I don't want to diminish or exaggerate my role. Those who approached me could not walk this path without me, although the patient himself must walk along the bridge with me.
4. Constantly learning. The psychotherapist influences the patient with his personality. (I am actually a pill for the patient. But you know that every pill has its own expiration date. Studying is a renewal.)
5. Knows his colleagues whose level of professional skills is higher than his.
6. Refuses to treat a patient if he knows that he cannot help him as well as his colleague can help.
7. Already during the first conversation he warns the patient that he has the right to refuse his services if he stops trusting him.
8. Refuses fees prior to treatment and refuses payment if unable to help.
9. Physically healthy, financially sufficiently secure and happy in personal life.
This is especially important in psychotherapy. After all, I can pass on to my ward what I have. When I began to engage in psychotherapy, I understood the depth of Hippocrates’ call: “Physician, heal yourself.” Maybe this is not so relevant for doctors of other specialties, but for a psychotherapist it is required condition. The higher the level of professionalism, the easier a person performs his work, the more better results, the more positive emotions, those better health. Many prominent psychotherapists have improved their health and lived long, fruitful lives.
10. Not only masters the craft, but also has students (my firm belief is that psychotherapy is a craft, not an art). Therefore, when going to a psychotherapist, ask if he has students.
11. Develops his own methods and usually presents them in his books. Read these books. And if you agree with the author’s point of view, go to him for an appointment. Or find out who he studied with and read the works of his teacher.

And to put it all in short: a professional knows himself. These provisions are also useful for young psychotherapists to know. Then they will willingly resort to the help of their more experienced colleagues, will not take on what they do not yet know how to do, study and ultimately become professionals high class. Due to the lack of professionalism, we can observe cases of successful and quite Get well soon patients from some doctors after many years of unsuccessful treatment from other, seemingly experienced doctors. Z. Freud spoke quite harshly in this regard: “We generally consider someone who does not have a diploma to be a charlatan. I propose to consider someone who heals without knowing how to treat as a charlatan.” Actually, psychotherapy is not a specialty, but a way of life. And if the psychotherapist himself does not correspond to the principles he talks about, then it is better not to deal with him.

In fact, choosing a psychotherapist is a difficult matter. I want to tell you in what cases you should refuse a particular doctor. First of all, if you don’t feel like going to a doctor. You will question all his words and actions. Internal tension will develop, which will nullify everything positive that comes from the doctor. If you like the doctor, this does not mean that you need to immediately begin treatment with him. You should think a little more.

If a doctor is too autocratic and insists on fulfilling all his demands without explaining their meaning, then he is unlikely to be able to help you, even if his advice and recommendations are correct. After all, the point of a psychotherapist’s work with clients is to teach them to make independent decisions and take responsibility for them. I even have my own aphorism: “The qualifications of a psychotherapist are inversely proportional to the amount of advice he gives.”
If the doctor sets a condition for you to visit only him, it is better to leave him. This means that he does not trust you, your mind, your ability to distinguish one from another.
If a doctor claims that only he knows this method, and only he can help you, this should cause you doubt. IN best case scenario This is a conscientiously deluded person, at worst a charlatan.

A few more caveats. Don't expect psychotherapy rapid improvement of his condition, although it may exist. The psychotherapist sets himself the task of helping to change your sociogen, which we talked about above.

So, if in the process of contacts with a psychotherapist you notice that your sociogene is changing, it means treatment is underway right, even if you feel worse. And this is natural. After all, when a major renovation of a house is carried out, at first there are fewer amenities. Besides, you for a long time harmed themselves and others. And now the concept of oneself is changing dramatically. It's hard to save good mood when you suddenly realize that you are just a psychological coward, working for fools, gluttons, etc., although previously you considered yourself magnanimous, generous, hospitable, etc.

This cannot calm a person down. It is difficult to admit that you are a psychological coward because you overfed the guests, overpaid the taxi driver, gave big tips to the waiter, when you behaved completely calmly during the elimination of the cholera epidemic, bravely participated in hostilities, gave your blood to save a friend, etc. But you need to know the truth about yourself, no matter how bitter it may be. One should get rid of psychological cowardice. But it turns out it's not that simple. F. Nietzsche correctly said that in order to destroy outdated values, you need the courage of a lion.

Our tables when we receive guests are an exhibition of our psychological cowardice. After all, this amount of food is not needed by smart and regime-observing guests who came to socialize. And they feel sorry for the owners, because they spent too much effort and money. And what kind of communication can we talk about when we’ve eaten too much?
All this is due to psychological cowardice, fear of gluttons who would condemn us for a poor table.
I will give two examples.

A business trip with lower back pain led one of my clients to a six-month bed rest. He went out of concern for the team. A simple analysis showed that it was all about the same unconscious psychological cowardice, the fear of being incompetent in some way. But in fact, the team and partners would have suffered much less if he had refused the business trip.

When I began to engage seriously in psychotherapeutic work, I realized that I was overpaying taxi drivers, ordering alcohol in restaurants and often buying unnecessary things not out of generosity and generosity, but because of the same psychological cowardice, the fear of appearing greedy to people whom I see only once in a lifetime. life. Later I realized that all this was due to psychological cowardice, caused by an unsatisfied sense of self-importance, fear of condemnation.

I can give such examples endlessly.

One of my students told me how he learned to accurately pay taxi drivers. This was back in the years of stagnation. He was afraid to demand change, but he had rubles and kopecks. He paid exactly according to the meter and enjoyed the expression on the taxi driver's face. What could he say? After all, he calculated exactly. He repeated these experiments. After some time, he noticed that it became easier for him to talk with bosses and unfamiliar people. He realized that his difficulties were determined psychological fear, and not from modesty, as he previously believed. Naturally, he became more successful.

I even remade the famous saying: “If after a conversation with a doctor the patient does not feel better, then he is not a doctor.” in the following way: “If after a conversation with a psychotherapist the patient does not feel worse, then this is not a psychotherapist.” Psychotherapy is somewhat reminiscent of surgery. After all, after any operation the patient initially becomes worse. If the patient is excessively weakened, he has to be prepared for surgery. So it is in psychotherapy. Sometimes a person should first be calmed down and given the opportunity to get stronger so that he can undergo a psychotherapeutic operation. By the way, he must carry out this operation himself. The psychotherapist acts only as a consultant. In this regard, surgeons can be envied. They give anesthesia so that the patient does not disturb them, and they do all the reconstructive work without his participation. They inflict pain on him only once, but the psychotherapist almost all the time. http://www.mlitvak.ru/

HOW TO FIND A GOOD PSYCHOTHERAPIST. Part 2

Dear readers, if you have to contact a psychotherapist, pay attention to the points by which you can judge whether your treatment and training is successful:

1. If you experience heartache from the realization that you have done a lot wrong in your life, and that your troubles are largely to blame not on others, but on yourself, answer yourself one question that I ask my wards: “Would you like everything, what you learned from me and with my help would disappear from your memory, and your life would continue as it had before you met me?” If you answer no, then everything is fine. This is not painful depression, but psychological melancholy that makes a person think.

2. If you develop abilities that you didn’t even suspect before, you become calmer, but were irritable, more mobile, but were somewhat inhibited, everything goes fine.

3. If your behavior begins to change so that you end up thinking better and better about yourself, everything is going well. If your desire to please everyone has disappeared, if you have stopped wasting time on unnecessary meetings and conversations, watching TV series and going to parties, everything goes fine.

4. If your opinion about your loved ones begins to change, you begin to look at their shortcomings as features, everything goes fine. One of my charges suddenly noticed his wife had such positive traits, which previously passed by his attention. Now there could be no question of divorce.

5. If you become easier to get along with unfamiliar people, you begin to feel good in a new environment without spending time adapting, everything is going fine.

6. If you stopped moralizing and replaced the words “should” and “impossible” with “forced” and “expedient”, if you stopped taking into account other people’s opinions, but always take them into account, everything goes fine.

7. If you have stopped tolerating and can give feedback your communication partners, but you can endure it if circumstances force you to do this, everything goes fine.

According to Igor Mikhailovich Litvak, healthy man never endures, but can endure. If I'm underwater, then I need to endure it and not breathe until I get out of the water. I knew one person who, due to shyness, never went to the toilet when visiting. He endured. Purely neurotic behavior!

In general, if in the process of working with a psychotherapist your life begins to resemble a ladder that you are constantly climbing, everything is going well.

If during your contacts with a psychotherapist you go in circles or go down, then it is better to part with such a psychotherapist. Don't take anything for granted. If you do not understand the actions of a psychotherapist, you should refuse his services. Don't strain to understand the therapist. It is his responsibility to make sure you understand him. “Truth is not in the words of the speaker, but in the ears of the listener,” noted the ancients. It is the sacred duty of the psychotherapist to make you understand the methods that he uses on you or that he invites you to use in the process. independent work. You must be clear about final results work, know the signs by which you can judge its results, and the time when you will no longer need to use the services of a psychotherapist. You can’t be treated by him forever!

Psychotherapists are different.
If at the first sessions the psychotherapist annoys you, he seems either acquisitive, sometimes ignorant, sometimes sadistic, but he awakens your thoughts, makes you object to him, if you are interested in him, stay near him a little longer. Then you will see its advantages. And try to find something human, some shortcomings, in the psychotherapist-angel. After all, there are no angels! And if you fail, stop communicating with him. This means his behavior is unnatural. You will be deeply disappointed in the future.

To find a qualified psychologist you need to “build his resume.” To do this, ask him:

1. Does the psychologist have a diploma of higher psychological education?

2. Did he receive additional education at least 800 hours in psychotherapy?

3. Does he have experience in personal psychotherapy? To learn how to work with clients, textbooks and seminars are not enough. It is important that the psychologist himself has experienced psychotherapy for at least a year. After this, the specialist better understands what it is like to be in the client’s shoes.

4. Has he received regular supervision for at least 3 years? A supervisor is an experienced colleague with whom the psychologist discusses his work.

Ask a psychologist these questions. If you receive a positive answer to all points, then you have found a competent professional. You can safely contact him.

Subjective assessment

If the first step was to ask questions to a psychologist, then the second step is to ask yourself. Ask yourself: “What kind of psychologist am I looking for? What is the most important thing for me in contact with a specialist?”

It is important to find “your” psychologist. If you decide to take advantage of the Internet, then look at photos of various psychologists. Most likely, you will turn to a psychologist who you like, or maybe you will choose one who reminds you of some people from your life. It is possible that you will want to come to a person who seems similar to you or, conversely, will be your complete opposite.

The age of the psychologist may also influence your choice. Some people find it easier to communicate with an older person, while others find it easier to communicate with someone the same age. The choice of gender of your psychologist is also important. Who do you trust more: women or men? Surely, you can easily answer the question of whether you want a woman or a man as your psychologist.

After the first meeting with a psychologist

In the process of discussing problems at the first meeting, you form an attitude towards the psychologist. Listen to your feelings. Do you feel that this person can help you? Do you have any sympathy for him? Is it mutual? Does the psychologist respect your right to ask questions or does he begin to take a top-down approach? Are you receiving answers that satisfy you? Do you believe that the psychologist is speaking to you sincerely or is he trying to impress you with professional jargon, forcing friendship or promising a quick “cure”?

Confidence that you have found a suitable psychologist consists of: different sensations. You should get the impression that the psychologist is able to understand you and your problems. With this person it is quite easy for you to say everything you think and feel. You understand that the psychologist is really interested in you, and does not fit you into this or that theory. He is not in a hurry to draw conclusions about you, but asks to give him time to figure out what is happening to you.

You should be concerned if:

1. The psychologist refuses to talk about his education and work experience.
2. The psychologist behaves coldly, distantly and stiffly.
3. One gets the impression that the psychologist is superficial about what you say.
4. The psychologist talks a lot about himself.
5. The psychologist makes you wait a long time.
6. Meetings last much longer than you agreed.
7. The psychologist advises you to quit school/university/wife/job.
8. The psychologist says that your plans to change jobs or go to school are a bad idea.
9. The psychologist offers to give you a ride to the bus stop, the metro, or home.
10. The psychologist is your employer, teacher, friend or relative. You and the psychologist have mutual friends.
11. A psychologist offers to work for him in exchange for therapy.
12. A psychologist tells you about other clients without caring at all about the confidentiality of their personal information.

After your first appointment, the following options are available to you.

1. You have found “your” psychologist: you feel that he is sincere, responsible and understanding. After meeting with him, you have hope for relief of your condition and trust in the psychologist. If, in addition, you left with a new picture of what is happening to you, then you can negotiate with a psychologist about further work.

2. If your consultant is harsh, cold and disrespectful, and your feelings are definitely negative, you can not come back here without a twinge of conscience and look for another psychologist.

3. If you have mixed feelings, tell him that you have not yet decided on your choice. You may say that you need time to decide whether you will continue or whether you want to consult another specialist.

What is the duration of psychotherapy and when can I expect results?

It all depends on what kind of help you are looking for. Do you want counseling or want to undergo psychotherapy? If you are committed to serious work, then get ready to go to a psychologist for at least 1.5 - 2 years, once or even twice a week. Of course, you may feel an improvement after just a few sessions, but to prevent your problems from returning, you need to be in the mindset that staying in therapy is a process that stimulates the development of your personality, giving up internal restrictions that prevent you from living, helps resolve internal conflicts. It is the ability for constant development that arises in therapy that entails change. Your life with a problem is like a river locked in a dam. Long-term psychotherapy helps the dam break, and the river begins to flow further.

What is the cost of psychotherapist services in Moscow?

The cost of services of a psychologist and psychotherapist in Moscow varies significantly - from 1,500 (for a beginning psychotherapist) to 15,000 rubles (for a “star” of psychotherapy) per session. Discarding the extreme, rather rare numbers from both poles, the same question can be answered, what kind of session did you have? experienced specialist you will pay from 2000 to 5000 rubles. Find an experienced psychologist who charges 2,000 rubles. for a meeting, quite realistically.

Successful psychotherapists in private practice conduct consultations in specially rented premises. Room rental is included in the price of consultations. In addition, the cost of psychotherapist services consists of many factors: level vocational training, practical experience, the amount of time free for potential patients, the cost of renting an office, the specialist’s self-confidence, personal beliefs and other prosaic factors. Training in the field of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis usually takes many years and requires large financial, emotional and intellectual costs, so psychologists' fees are quite high.

When contacting psychological and medical centers, the services of a psychotherapist, as a rule, cost slightly more, since in this case the overhead costs of the center are paid. You may think that the services of a psychologist are too expensive. There is an opinion that you should pay the psychologist an amount that you will really feel sorry for, i.e. the amount you are willing to give plus more than that. This will encourage you to do more active work over your difficulties.

When a person comes to the realization that he needs help professional psychologist, he is faced with the question: how to find a good psychotherapist?

Due to the fact that every second person in our country can call and pretend to be a psychotherapist, you need to approach this issue very seriously when choosing a doctor. First, you must understand who this specialist is.

Since in our country even psychics call themselves psychotherapists, you should know that this specialist- this is first of all a doctor, in no case a magician, but a doctor who has higher education, and specializing in one or another area of ​​psychiatry. In addition, he must master methods of emotional interaction with the patient. Often this is not possible during an appointment with a given specialist in a clinic, since he does not have time to conduct an individual session with each patient. Thus, he is not able to listen to the patient's problems completely.

Often, in private psychotherapy centers, the level of quality of services provided is far from ideal. So, in one of the capital’s offices of such a specialist, various magicians and astrologers sat next door. And patients simply moved from one office to another, and did not stay in each for long. But by making an appointment with an experienced doctor on the website gradisova.com, a psychotherapist in Dnepr will provide assistance to any person in need.

How to find a good psychotherapist?

Firstly, a good psychotherapist who sees patients in a specialized medical center licensed to provide such assistance. Secondly, everything you discuss with this doctor during the session is protected by medical confidentiality. Thirdly, this specialist should not register you with a neuropsychiatric dispensary. Fourthly, the psychotherapist will never interrupt or rush the patient. Fifthly, he should not push you to make certain decisions. Sixthly, he will never use words such as: “you must”, “listen to me”, “you need”, “I told you”, etc.

And this doctor will never demand payment for his sessions in advance. It is much more convenient to pay for each session separately. This specialist will comment on your stories based only on facts and in no case on speculation.

These small tips will help you find good specialist, who can solve your problem regardless of its complexity.