It's easy to be happy. How to be happy every day

If you ask people: “What do you want?”, The answers will be very different. "Lose weight, become rich, love, a dog, a good job, success ...". If at this moment you ask the question: “Why do you need this?”, Then the answer will be one. "To become happy!"

If you ask people: “What do you want?”, The answers will be very different.

"Lose weight, become rich, love, a dog, a good job, success ...". If at this moment you ask the question: “Why do you need this?”, Then the answer will be one. "To become happy!"

Happiness is the meaning, purpose and main direction of human life.

It is disguised as various understandable, material and familiar things.- money, career, children, love, health - but these are just the constituent elements of the global emotional, physical and moral comfort that everyone strives for.

You should not perceive "happiness" as a final destination, which has the opportunity to get once and for all. This is a feeling, state or experience that accompanies a person every day, bringing joy, giving self-confidence and making life meaningful.

“Generally speaking, one should start by identifying the factors that lead to happiness and the factors that lead to suffering. After that, it is necessary to gradually eliminate from your life those factors that lead to suffering, and strengthen those that lead to happiness. This is the essence of my idea.”

“The art of being happy. Guide for Life" Dalai Lama XIV

So, where should one start to enter happiness?

1. Sleep and nutrition

The smallest and most important thing to provide. There will always be plenty of other “meaningful” things for which you will sacrifice sleep or proper nutrition.

This is the foundation for the overall health of the body, for the production of hormones, for the functioning of the brain and the restoration of resources.

It is impossible to watch TV shows all night during the week, work late, not follow the regime and feel good in the morning.

Think of sleep and food as a “mandatory hygiene procedure” that will become a good habit.

2. Physical activity and sex life

To enjoy life, a person must feel good physically. Pay maximum attention to physical activity.

This does not mean that you have to spend a day in the gym. It is enough to start with everyday walks and a properly selected set of exercises that you will be pleased to perform.

For starters, include at least an hour of walking in your daily routine. Walking has proven to be an effective treatment for depression and anxiety.

Sexual needs are natural for a healthy body. Their satisfaction leads to a decrease in aggression and discontent, the emergence of a sense of joy, well-being and a positive perception of the world.

3. Financial solvency

In the modern world, money gives a sense of confidence in the future, security, control over the situation. For many, this factor becomes a "stumbling block", a problem that cannot be resolved and overcome.

H It is worth starting with a rational distribution of available funds. Learn the tools to help you plan your finances the right way. These can be mobile apps, spreadsheets, or just lists.

Carefully keep track of income and expenses, follow your goals, analyze where and how you spend, and after a certain period of time you will develop financial discipline. And she, in turn, will give a sense of control and confidence necessary for a comfortable life.

4. Social connections

A person feels good when he receives support, approval, understanding, acceptance and love from others. In a long-term experiment conducted by Harvard University, it was found that people who have good, warm, trusting relationships with others live longer, healthier and happier lives.

However, it is the quality, not the quantity, that matters. The presence of a close person, a true friend, a reliable partner will definitely make you happier than a dozen superficial acquaintances.

5. Motivation and awareness

Be aware, be aware of what, when, why and why you are doing. There are no things that are unambiguously bad or good, right or wrong. There is a motive and your actions, it is important to understand where they will lead you.

If you have an uninteresting, unloved job, ask the question: “Why am I holding on to it?”. If you are surrounded by evil or stupid people - ask: "Why am I with them?". If you are bored or sad - find out: "What do I want?".

Track your real desires, look for ways to satisfy them, harmonize needs and actions.

6. Self-development

Focus on the things that make you better, smarter, harder, happier. Do not aim at all areas of life at once - this is an impossible plan, and failures will have a bad effect on the motivation to continue.

Start with small but affordable actions– Learn something new at work, read books you never had time for, take a course, take up photography or clay modeling, go to the gym or go skydiving.

The goal is to reveal your potential as fully and comprehensively as possible, to become who you can be at the peak of your personal abilities, not to remain within the given stereotypes and limits, but to correspond to your inner nature.

Becoming happy is a conscious decision, for the implementation of which it is necessary to make efforts at the initial stage. The good news is that the further process will become self-regulating and will certainly lead to the desired goal.

Elena Grositskaya

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

To feel inner harmony and happiness, every woman needs to devote time, attention and care to herself. Even the most caring of men will never be able to satisfy all the desires and needs of a woman - they are so diverse and sometimes contradictory.

To achieve complete happiness, inner comfort and well-being, a woman must know what fills her with energy and pleasure. Therefore, we have compiled for you a list of activities that will help you find indescribable satisfaction from life, a sense of joy and tranquility. The result from the methods described below is not short-term: energy and joy will become your constant companions.

1. Regularly visit a massage parlor. The body of a woman languishes without touching and caresses. It must be kneaded, stroked, kneaded, otherwise the vital energy of a woman will stagnate, put pressure on the body from the inside. This can lead to sickness and disease. If there is no opportunity to go for a paid massage, do it yourself at home, or ask your loved one. Watch a video on the topic, read about the massage technique and get down to business!

2. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Bad habits take away not only health, money and beauty, but also joy and energy. Quit smoking, drinking, swearing, and staying up late. You will have so much energy, joy and enthusiasm that another success will certainly await you!

3. Read poetry. Not everyone loves poetry, but try to find one that resonates with your soul. You will feel harmony and comfort from reading "your" poetry, understandable and close to you. It will also help you speak more beautifully, and you will start to think more correctly!

4. Meet your girlfriends from time to time. Women's communication, even if it is only a discussion of children, men and clothes, brings a lot of benefits. This is a kind of exchange of energy that can strengthen each of the participants in the conversation. So, it is easier for a woman to cope with her own problems and experiences, while a man will be more helped by internal dialogue and work on himself.

5. Go for walks. Walking in the fresh air is necessary for a woman at least once a day. Contact with nature is very important to us. Walking has a positive effect on the hormonal background and the general well-being of a woman.

6. Listen to your favorite music every day. It can be the same music or different every day, classical or popular - it doesn't matter. Favorite music cheers up, improves well-being and inspires us!

7. Acquire the ability to relax. If you are not at work, avoid difficult topics and discussions. A woman, for youth and beauty, needs to “turn off” her head, relax and not strain her with endless thoughts. Thinking about trifles can also be useful and correct!

8. Pamper your body with a fragrant bath. Let your bath smell fragrant with oils, and in the water itself there will be foam or rose petals. This will help your skin shine with freshness and purity, and you yourself will be guaranteed relaxation and a great mood!

9. Learn basic yoga postures. This will calm your mind and give it strength, and give your body endurance and flexibility.

10. Try taking vocal lessons. Even if the expression “A bear stepped on your ear” is personal for you, this is not a reason to refuse such activities. The fact is that singing clears the chakra, which is located in the throat. After such a cleaning, you are unlikely to want to swear, reproach and cut your soulmate.

11. Go shopping. Oddly enough, but you can visit the shops without money. Just try on clothes, enjoy your beauty in new things - this charges women with happiness and energy.

12. Hang out with older and wiser women. Here we will talk about the transfer of knowledge and female wisdom, the opportunity to look at your life from the other side. Communication with mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and a qualified female psychologist is suitable.

13. Dance. For sexuality and new strength, the female body needs movement and rhythm. Give preference to sensual dance styles: Latin American, Arabic and others.

14. Take care of animals and flowers. Caring and caring for those who need it is a great way for a woman to fill up with energy and satisfaction.

15. Help the one who asked you. This is one of the most powerful tools that makes you feel much better, more confident and happier. You can also feel free to ask for help - this also enhances female energy.

16. Read books that interest you and visit bookstores. Reading books is very inspiring for women, gives them a breadth of thought and rewards them with new knowledge. From time immemorial, women have been the keepers of knowledge and passed it on to their children.

17. Delegate some household chores to family members. Here you will have several bonuses at once: there will be more free time, and the help provided to you will warm and amuse.

18. Cook food with pleasure. Everything related to cooking is given to any woman from God, so you just need to reveal the hidden potential in yourself or improve your existing skills. Cooking with soul endows a woman with strength, tenderness, satisfaction and kindness.

19. Do not leave unfinished business and assignments. Master the planning and stick to a clear schedule of tasks and responsibilities in order to be on time. This will help you always stay confident, calm and balanced.

20. Bring sophistication into your life. Let there be a beautiful tablecloth, candles and gourmet delicacies on the table. Let there be fresh flowers on the table in your house (you can even give them to yourself), and let pictures hang on the walls. Let your wardrobe be beautiful and stylish outfits. Ennoble your life, home, wardrobe and everything that surrounds you. This will make you not only more attractive, but also more harmonious and contented. The magic of life is in the little things!

21. Nurture, communicate and educate children. Only with children can a woman reveal all her facets, natural instincts and talents. Play with children, teach them how to sculpt, draw and everything that you can do - you will feel happiness, as it is, to the fullest.

22. Try yourself in acting classes. Let's remember the great Shakespeare: "All life is a game, and the people in it are actors." Emotions is the second name of a woman. Therefore, by trying on images and roles, a woman learns to better understand herself and her life situation, to control her facial expressions, gestures, and gait. The game gives a woman a special grace and seductiveness.

23. Do not skimp on makeup and personal care. This advice gives a lot of pleasure to the woman herself, and also stacks men in piles. A woman who looks good is doing herself a big favor: she pleases herself, delights men, and makes other women angry!

24. Drop envy. Never compare yourself to others - we are all different and not similar to each other. Embrace your uniqueness and remember that you can never be the best at everything.

25. Wear dresses (you can skirts). Feminine elements of clothing have a very strong influence on a woman. She blossoms, grows younger, becomes more tender, charming and touching.

26. Watch romantic movies, read novels. It makes us happy and feminine.

27. Explore new cultures. This is a way not only to expand your worldview, to become more interesting and erudite. This method will help you not to become isolated in yourself.

28. Spend time near the water. It is extremely necessary for a woman to come into contact with water: rivers, lakes, the sea. Such a pastime will help a woman to be filled with harmony, sexuality and complete satisfaction.

29. Exercise regularly. For a woman, this is not just a way to keep herself in great shape, but also a source of energy, strength and good mood.

30. Remove all rubbish and blockages from your life and home. Start small, keep only the clothes you like and wear regularly in your closet. Conduct an audit of things in your home, give unnecessary ones to those who need them and who cannot afford them. Emotional rubbish is harder to deal with. Use meditation or psychological techniques for this. The space freed from rubbish will be filled with light, purity and energy.

31. Appreciate what you have. Be grateful for everything around you. It is not easy to learn this, but with such an attitude to life, you will become much happier and more content.

32. Regularly pay attention to your hands. Do a manicure, moisturize and take care of your hands. Men just want to kiss well-groomed, beautiful female hands.

33. Visit exhibitions, museums, galleries. This will give you energy, an even deeper look at the world, and also decorate your appearance. Everything beautiful makes a woman even more attractive and charming!

34. Find yourself a mentor. Favorite authors of books, lecturers, clerics and just acquaintances from everyday life who cause admiration can be teachers of life.

35. Start your own diary. It is very important to splash out on paper and then be aware of your desires, thoughts, fears and goals. Then we can work on analyzing everything recorded, thereby improving our lives in the future.

36. Make a collage of beautiful pictures. Let you have an album with your most beautiful, best photos at your fingertips. Enjoy yourself and your beauty! It is very important for a woman to realize her beauty, charm and uniqueness. Your collage will be a reminder of how beautiful and unique you are.

37. Define the circle of your desires. Reflect on what you want out of life, especially in your personal life. Write down thoughts on paper - so there are more chances that everything written is realized in your life. Men set clear goals: “I can”, “I will do”. The female approach is different: “I want” and “I need” and everything comes and is attracted to a real woman, filled with energy, as if by itself. Without anguish, effort and overexertion.

38. Make your speech sweet and sweet. Control your voice, its timbre and intonation. When you speak softly, gently with everyone, especially with men, your energy will double.

39. Learn to be flexible. Sometimes in a dispute, a competition, it is better for a woman to give in and remain calm and balanced. What a woman furious with a dispute looks like, an imperious and in no way inferior woman is a very funny and caricatured sight.

40. Be selective when engaging in intimate relationships. A woman will feel joy and happiness in a sexual relationship with the one she loves. Otherwise, devastation and loss of vitality await her.

41. Always be clean (household, clothing, own body). This preserves and increases female energy and strength.

42. Engage in needlework (modeling, knitting, beads, sewing, pottery). In the arsenal of needlework classes, there is sure to be something that will be interesting and pleasant for you.

43. Learn to praise people and compliment them. This will make your life brighter, kinder and more beautiful.

44. Learn to openly express love. Kiss, hug, stroke your loved ones and relatives, say kind words. You will feel how you become happier and more joyful.

45. Learn how to make bouquets. New strength and energy from working with flowers are provided to you.

46. ​​Eat right. Eat more fruits, vegetables and other natural and healthy foods. Eat an apple rather than a sandwich. This is not only a guarantee of health, but also optimism.

47. Spend some time alone. Do what you love in moments of loneliness. It is at such moments that the right and brilliant ideas come to us.

48. If you sleep alone in bed, put a soft toy in bed. It is harmful for a woman to sleep alone, and a plush animal will give warmth and comfort.

49. Buy yourself a new perfume. A pleasant aroma enhances a woman and makes her more confident, sexy and happy!

50. If you want a change, change your hair color. Changes won't take long!

“Morality teaches not how to become happy, but how to become worthy of happiness.”

―Immanuel Kant

I wonder if every woman can say that she is happy? When we are asked a similar question, we instantly answer - of course, I am happy, because I have everything - a caring husband, children, and a favorite job.

Is it about you? Then you are on the right track. But the most important thing is not to convince yourself of this, but to really feel that way.

Positive thinking is the first step to victory. But some women tend to succumb to other people's opinions, thinking that happiness should be the way it is written in books or shown on TV. Such women fall into depression... And then, having suffered enough, they oppress their loved ones as well.

How to learn to be happy every day

Day after day, minutes of our lives expire, a woman strives to be in time everywhere, to be and remain healthy, beautiful, to take place as a mother, to be loved and, of course, to make a career. In the bustle of these days, we sometimes forget to even just look up and see what a beautiful blue sky and how beautifully the birds sing.

It is necessary to stop and look around and find beauty in the little things, because there is no "yesterday" and "tomorrow", but there is only "Here and now". Consider that tomorrow may never come. What would you do today? Maybe you should live to the fullest, breathe deeply, do what you have long dreamed of and say “I love” to everyone you love.

But do not forget that the advice to live every day like it's the last time does not mean that you should drink, revel and do stupid things. Try to enjoy every moment! This is not easy to learn, but if you start now, you will soon learn to be happy regardless of circumstances and people.

14 golden rules of happiness:

1. When you wake up, first of all, smile at yourself and the sun (smile at your relatives, friends, passers-by) ...
2. Stop complaining about life, comparing yourself with others, thinking negatively. Learn to enjoy the little things without taking failure to heart.
3. Find your hobby.
4. Disaccustom to think negatively and "cut off" all thoughts about the bad.
5. Enjoy food (during the meal, think about food, its smell, taste, refuse to watch TV).
6. Take a walk outside and enjoy nature.
7. Watch life-affirming films, listen to pleasant music (audio, song or video does not matter), choose something that pleases and warms the soul, let it be a melodrama or a thriller, a comedy series or a historical film ...
8. Forgive the offenders and let go of the past, leave only the good in the present. Learning to forgive is easy you have to forgive yourself first Because we are human, we tend to make mistakes. Remember the movie Eat Pray Love? Send a ray of light to your dear person, so you will give a piece of yourself, starting a new life filled with happiness.
9. Read books or essays on psychology (there are plenty of them). Here, for example, Dale Carnegie and his "Textbook of Life", Louise Hay "Everything a Woman Wants", Sister Stephanie "How to name a child so that he is happy" ..., Mrinal Kumar Gupta "How to be happy always", in each of the books has its own morality.
   find various trainings and affirmations (they are online and completely free on the Internet).
10. Do good to others for free.
11. Take time for yourself (thinking about the meaning of life, plans for the summer, etc.).
12. Always put “love” first in all situations.
13. Dream.
14. Give thanks for everything you have now.

Joy in the family

Every woman should remember that there is nothing more precious than a family. It is she who is the foundation of happiness. And your heart will tell you how to be happy in a family.

There are two exits:

1. You understand that you don’t love your husband, having clearly realized that he is not your person and you are unhappy with him, leave.
2. You accept your spouse as he is, not wanting to change "for yourself."

The recipe is just plain simple.

Further, it is worth understanding that it is very important to become a lover in the family, a loving wife and a good mother all rolled into one. Dr. Torsunov, in his lectures on Ayurveda, the science of life, reveals the principles that help family people to improve relationships, diet, and get rid of bad habits. For example, lecturing can help you quit smoking or get rid of alcohol cravings if your husband or wife drinks.

In a relationship with a man

The main rules of a strong and long relationship:

• be his friend
• take care of yourself
• learn how to cook delicious
• "don't take out the brain"
• surprise him in bed
• leave him time for personal space (going to a sports bar, beer with friends)
• say "I love you"
• don't try to change it
• be yourself

Such simple, but at the same time complex rules will help you not to lose your man.

If you are going to get married, think about whether communication with your lover brings you joy. Maybe you're just jealous of other married couples, or just tired of parental care? Then do not rush into marriage.

Psychologists advise downloading the book "How to become loved and desired." Written by contemporary writer Oksana Dupliakina. The author gives advice to all women. With her books, she teaches women to be more confident in themselves, to recognize their chosen one or husband on the other hand, to establish relations with him .... And here is what Carnegie's "Textbook of Life" tells us about the relationship of a husband and wife:
do not criticize or find fault with your husband;
jealousy for nothing, do not pursue him for any reason;
show each other signs of attention, be able to listen to the interlocutor;
be precautionary, that is, notify your husband in advance about your or general plans;
read a good book about sex (spouses can get to know each other better).

But what about a man - does he have to do something? Of course it should.

Read A. Pushkin’s poems “Onegin’s Letter to Tatyana”, the characters of this work are happy or maybe dejected by their feelings ... think about who you are for your man, who are you next to him?

Usually the causes of divorces or quarrels in a relationship are lack of money, dissatisfaction in sexual relations or differences of interests.

Being married is a true art that requires learning and new practices. Rimma Home's book Magical Women's Things is especially for women. She will tell you that you are a valuable prize, a godsend for a man, they will hunt you as prey. Decide on a "magic experiment" with Rimma. The writer has a rich experience of communicating with the opposite sex, passes it on to other women, advises how to keep her beloved, while not straining too much, how to raise her self-esteem. You can learn more about this book by reading the reviews and reviews of readers.

Alone

What if the woman is alone?

Accept this given as a new stage in life and enjoy loneliness. You do not need to cook for someone in the morning and wash dirty socks, you live for yourself and can do whatever you want. Enjoy this period and you will not notice how the only one with whom you want to wash your socks and cook breakfast will appear in your life.

Understand that successful and happy people attract the same in themselves. If you continue to be heartbroken and suffer, you will attract the same loser to you.

(To all those who want to change everything in their lives once and for all, we recommend Vitaly Gibert's book "Modeling the Future").

After reading the text on Tibetan medicine by a Tibetan doctor, you will understand that women do not have time to develop in the modern world, that is, their physical condition - the bodily does not keep up with the spiritual. Before, it was not so, women gave birth to 5-10 children, but did not do additional things, they got tired much less. So, you are in a period when a woman’s body is being cleansed (menstruation is passing), you also need to cleanse yourself spiritually, conduct meditation, for example, or do something useful, uncomplicated, you can’t be nervous these days, throwing out your energy a lot, you need let only good feelings into your soul. According to this theory, women are divided into 3 types: wind (lung), bile (trip), mucus (badkan). Not very pleasant names, but it is worth studying these types of female energy at least for general development. Moreover, each type has its own character, its own diet, which helps to cope with PMS, as a result, increase your vitality. Seemingly simple recommendations that will help a woman survive difficulties, establish contact with herself and other people.

Say in front of the mirror - I am strong, I am a person worthy of respect and love, I value myself and love myself for who I am! Despite the loneliness, as you can see, I am alive, and everything will be fine with me.

If you want to be happy, you need to be able to understand exactly what you want and consistently advocate for your needs. In addition, in order to achieve happiness, it is absolutely necessary to have a positive mindset, take certain actions to live a happy life, and take care of yourself, even if you are very busy. The most important thing is to know that you can achieve happiness if you really want it and put in the effort to achieve it.

Steps

Part 1

See the world in a new way

1. Be who you want to be. If you really want to be happy, the best thing you can do for yourself is to be who you want to be. This means that you should not try to be the kind of person your life partner, parents, colleagues or friends want you to be. Try to be exactly the kind of person you feel deep down inside. If you feel like you are pretending and embellishing yourself all the time, you are unlikely to be truly happy and enjoy life.

   • Sometimes you don’t even suspect that you are not living your life until you stop and think about this question. The next time you interact with others, be sure to ask yourself if you are behaving the way the person you truly want to be would behave.
   • Of course, there are situations in which we must behave in a certain way in order to comply with generally accepted rules of conduct. For example, if you need to jump on a table to be yourself, it's hardly worth doing it at school or in the workplace. However, take every opportunity to be yourself.

2. Think positive. Of course, there are situations when it seems to you that there is no way to maintain a positive mindset. However, even in such situations, you should try your best to maintain a positive attitude regardless of external circumstances. If you want to always be positive, the main thing you need to do is learn to think primarily about what you are grateful for in this life and about what makes you happy. Learn not to dwell on unpleasant things. If you try to speak and think only good things, then you will surely be able to remain optimistic in any situation.

   • If you catch yourself thinking bad about something, try to compensate by coming up with two or three positive comments.
   • Even if you just try to smile, it will not only make those around you happier, but you too.
   • Sometimes you just need to complain to feel better. However, if this becomes a habit with you, then gradually you will turn into an inveterate pessimist.

3. Live in the present. If you want to become happy, there is one sure way - live in the present, instead of thinking about the past or worrying about the future. Of course, sometimes it is not easy to forget about the mistakes of the past or stop worrying about the future. However, the better you learn to live in the present and enjoy the good things that are in your life now, the sooner you will feel truly happy. You can set a special time during the day during which you allow yourself to dream about the future or nostalgic about the past. Then push those thoughts aside so they don't get in the way of your enjoyment of being with people here and now.

   • If you find it difficult to start living for today, try yoga or meditation. These activities will help you become more balanced.
   • Think about this: if something unpleasant happens at work, you get upset and can no longer enjoy the time you spend at home with your family. Why not separate these areas, instead of letting one bad event spoil all the good things that could happen after it?
   • In addition, if you focus on the present, you will be able to pay more attention to the work that you are doing in the moment and listen more carefully to what others are saying to you.

4. Appreciate what you have right now. If you want to be happy, you need to be able to be grateful to fate for what you have. Take a piece of paper, sit down like this and write down all the things that deserve gratitude. Tell yourself what you will write until you fill the entire page. Take the time to read all these things aloud, and feel sincere gratitude for all the good things in your life. You can be grateful for very important things, like good health, but don't forget to mention even small things like a delicious cup of coffee at your favorite corner cafe.

   • Make it a rule to develop a sense of gratitude in yourself. If something good happened, write down somewhere how grateful you are for it. If you make a special note of everything that deserves gratitude, you will find that you are much happier than you previously thought.
   • Take the time to say thank you to all those people who have done something good for you, no matter how big the help or the small favor. This is how you show others how important this is to you.

5. Look at the situation from a distance. Another way to feel happy is to try to put things in perspective. Step back and look at the situation with an open mind. Of course, you may have certain difficulties in relationships or too much workload at the moment, but in general, you have a roof over your head, there is love and joy in your life, and many other things that deserve gratitude. Of course, it's not easy to resist despair when something in your life goes wrong, but if you want to learn how to feel happy, make it a rule to look at the whole picture of your life.

   • This may be the last thing you want to hear in moments of despair, but it's worth considering that from the point of view of other people, your life may seem completely cloudless, even if you find it hard to believe.
   • The very fact that you have Internet access and the ability to find help here suggests that the situation is not as dire as you think.

6. Try to think more about your needs. If you always put the interests of other people before your own, you are unlikely to be able to feel like a happy person. Of course, this does not mean at all that you have the right to take care only of yourself, your loved one, pushing other people with your elbows along the way. However, it is worth allowing yourself to spend more time achieving your goals and satisfying your own desires and needs. If you are used to taking into account the interests of your family, friends and loved ones first of all, you should try to find a compromise and make yourself happier.

   • If you feel that you are in a relationship where you have to constantly sacrifice your interests for the sake of the other person, it's time to discuss the situation with your partner. This situation cannot continue indefinitely if you want to become happy.
   • Learn to defend your interests. If your friend has chosen a movie to watch together the last five times, now it's your turn. Start small by advocating for your interests, and soon you will learn to make bigger decisions on your own.

7. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good around. One way to be more optimistic about the world is to keep in close contact with people who think you are a wonderful person, capable of outstanding deeds. If you spend a lot of time around people who make you doubt your abilities, feel insecure and unable to act on your own, you will feel happy in the near future.

   • Take a sober look at the situation. Look around and think about who from your environment helps you to believe in yourself, and who - vice versa. If you find yourself spending a lot of time around people who undermine your sense of self-confidence, it's time to limit such interaction.
   • It is hardly possible to feel happy around people who make you feel worthless. Of course, it is very painful to break off relations with people who have been in your life for a long time, but you need to learn to think first of all about your well-being.

   Part 2

   Time to act

   1. Solve your problems. If you want to become a happy person, it's time to stop turning a blind eye to your problems. Of course, it is very important to feel that it is only in your own power to make yourself happy. However, sometimes it is impossible to achieve happiness until you deal with the problems that make you feel unhappy. Actions that make life better deserve every respect and require remarkable effort.

      • If you are in a relationship that does not bring you satisfaction, it is better to end it as soon as possible, instead of hoping that it will improve on its own.
      • If you definitely feel unhappy because you hate your job, find the motivation in yourself to find a new and better one.
      • If you are somewhat insecure and insecure, try to love yourself. Perhaps you should see a therapist, do something for your own development, or make a plan for finding happiness.

   2. Learn to deal with stress. In order to make yourself a happy person, you need to learn how to cope with stressful situations that life throws at you from time to time. Of course, you can take steps to help reduce the stress levels in your life. But in any case, to be happy, you need to develop the ability to cope with stressful situations. Try to meet difficult situations with an open visor, instead of burying your head in the sand until everything collapses completely. Here are a few ways you can help manage stress:

      • Find someone you can talk to about this. You can discuss the situation with a close friend or relative, or seek help from a therapist. The main thing is not to be alone with stress.
      • See if you're taking on too much. If you feel that being responsible for five things at once is too tiring for you, find a way to limit something in your life and make it more controllable.
      • Get in the habit of doing things to take your mind off things. You can read an interesting book, go for a long walk or just have a cup of chamomile tea. Just find your own distraction and follow it.

   3. Make time for your favorite activity. One sure-fire way to be happy is to simply make time in your schedule to do something you love, whether it's baking cakes, reading a romance novel, or relaxing alone with nature. Even half an hour a day that you spend doing your favorite thing will make you much happier for the rest of the time. Check your schedule and find some time in it for the things you love.

      • If it turns out that you can find time for your favorite activity only by waking up in the morning half an hour earlier than usual, make a choice in favor of this solution. Getting up half an hour earlier will not affect the quality of your night's rest, and your favorite thing at the beginning of the day will give you a charge of vivacity and good mood.
      • Find time for your favorite activity, even if you are very busy. If you are in complete despair because of the hated work and spend every minute of your free time looking for a new one, then the half hour a day that you devote to writing poetry will not affect the search process in any way. The pleasure that you get from your favorite activity will remain with you for the rest of the day.

   4. Set goals for yourself and achieve them. If you want to do something that will help you become happy, it's worth trying to set realistic goals for yourself and work towards them. This will make you purposeful, give you an incentive for further development and help you feel happy. Breaking down the process of reaching your goal into small steps will help you feel happy every time you manage to achieve your goal for each small step. You should not allow yourself to feel happy only at the moment of achieving the final goal, otherwise the whole path to it will become a real torment for you.

      • Make a list of your goals and cross them off as you achieve them. This will help you feel happier and more successful.
      • Don't beat yourself up if you start by finding easy goals for yourself. This will help you find the motivation to keep moving forward.

   5. Keep a diary. There is another way to feel happy - write down the events of your life in a diary at least several times a week. It will help you to reflect, to give vent to your emotions, to spend time alone with yourself and look at your life from the outside. Take a break to stop, write down your thoughts and think about them, you are unlikely to be able to put your own life in perspective.

      • Make a time for yourself to write in your diary at least once a week. Remind yourself that this is necessary in order to be happy.
      • Reread your diary every few weeks to better understand what makes you happy and what doesn't.

   6. Get out of the house more often. There is another simple but effective way to become happier. To do this, you need to get out of the house more often. To feel happier, just take a walk in the sunshine, wander around and get some fresh air. Don't spend hours in a dark house typing on a keyboard until your fingers hurt. If you work from home, try to go outside at least two to three times a day. This will give you a feeling of happiness.

      • When you leave the house, even just to do something everyday, you feel much happier because you are surrounded by other people.
      • Try scheduling more activities with friends just to get out of the house. Do not allow yourself to waste time lying on the bed for hours.

   7. Make other people happy. It has been proven that if you make people happy, it will in turn make you happy. You can do something nice for a friend who needs help, help a neighbor take his dog for a walk, or volunteer. When you take the time to help other people, you yourself become happier by changing the lives of others for the better. If you are focused only on yourself all the time, then there is a high probability that you will feel disappointed and will not see the forest for the trees.

      • Make it a habit to do something nice for people you know just for the sake of it. Don't wait until your friend's birthday to give him a gift. A gift without any reason will impress a person much more.
      • You can say that you don't have any free time at all. Try to find time and volunteer at least two or three times a month. you will be surprised how much it will inspire you and fill your life with meaning.

   8. Maintain order and cleanliness in the space around you. It may sound trite, but if you take the time to clean up your home, it will make a big difference in the level of happiness in your life. Take the time to get rid of unnecessary junk, throw out the garbage and remove from your life everything that you do not use. If you have items in good condition that you don't need, donate them to charity. When you do all this, you will feel much happier because you can breathe freely in a house freed from trash.

      • Even if you find just ten minutes a day to leisurely clean up your house, you will be surprised how much it will change your life.
      • If your home is cluttered, things are scattered all over the place, and you don't bother to keep it clean, chances are high that you will feel overwhelmed, lost, and unhappy. If you restore order to your living space, it will help to make your life more organized.

   Part 3

   Take care of yourself

   1. Get yourself enough sleep. If you want to be happy, make sure your body's basic needs are met. One of these needs is the need for proper rest. If you want to be happy, try to sleep 7-9 hours a night, or as much as your body needs for proper rest. Also, try to stick to a regular bedtime and wake up routine, this will help you fall asleep faster in the evening and wake up more easily in the morning.

      • Create a calm environment that will help you fall asleep more easily. Turn off your TV, computer, and other electronic devices at least one hour before bedtime.
      • Don't sacrifice sleep time for entertainment. It's hard to be happy if you feel exhausted and literally fall down from fatigue.

   2. Find at least 30 minutes a day to relax. Even if you are very busy, try to set aside at least half an hour a day in order to relax. It is impossible to spend all day until the last second on useful and productive activities, otherwise your head will literally explode! You have to be fair to yourself and set aside at least half an hour every day in order to take your mind off things and do something completely useless, frivolous and fun. For example, you can read the latest magazine about the life of pop stars, watch your favorite TV show, or chat on the phone with a friend.

      • It doesn't matter what exactly you do. The main thing is that you yourself know that this time is specially set aside for relaxation. This will allow you to relax physically and mentally as you are doing something just for yourself.
      • Everyone has their own preferred way to relax. If you need to take a short walk or read lyric poetry to relax, just do it.

   3. Eat healthy food. Another necessary component of taking care of yourself and finding happiness in life is a healthy three meals a day. This will help your brain work more efficiently, give you energy, and you won't feel tired and sluggish. Even if you are very busy, do not forget to maintain a normal healthy diet, because this is important for ensuring a positive outlook on life.

      • Even if you are very busy, do not skip breakfast. You need to start the day right and give your body the energy it needs to feel good throughout the day.
      • Every meal should consist of a sensible mix of vegetables, fruits, lean protein foods, and healthy carbohydrates. This way you will feel balanced.
      • If you need to snack between meals, eat healthy foods. Keep on hand some almonds, a glass of yogurt, sliced ​​carrots, or celery with peanut butter. These products will provide you with the energy you need and will not harm your health.
      • Of course, from time to time you want to eat something sweet or fatty. Sometimes it's good to make yourself a little indulgence and eat a piece of the desired treat. If you strictly limit yourself to your favorite food, you are unlikely to be able to feel happy.

   4. Go in for sports. If you exercise for at least half an hour daily, this will ensure the release of endorphins in the body, and you will feel healthier and happier. You can walk, ride a bike or do any other sport, the main thing is that any physical activity contributes to the emotional and physical health of your body. When you play sports, you feel happy.

      • You can join an amateur football or basketball team, or join a running club. If playing sports gives you an additional opportunity for interesting communication, it will make you happier.
      • Try to increase physical activity in general. Instead of taking the elevator, walk up the stairs. Walk instead of driving. Even small changes like this can make a huge difference.

   5. Learn to enjoy being with friends and family. Finding time to connect with loved ones will help you feel happier in yourself and your life. Even if you are very busy, try to find time and spend with loved ones at least a few hours a week. You will feel happier and forget about the feeling of loneliness. When you communicate with a person, try to listen to what he tells you, be sincere, and such communication will help you escape from everyday worries.

      • A close friend or relative will always lend a shoulder if you need to cry at a difficult moment. If you are already in a good mood, communication with loved ones will make it even better, and you will feel truly happy.
      • If you're not busy at work, add one or two events to your weekly schedule where you can connect with people in an informal setting. You will be surprised how inspiring the energy of the people around you affects a person.

   6. Don't forget about hygiene. You may think that talking about hygiene has nothing to do with happiness. However, you will be surprised if you think about how much self-care affects a person's experience in everyday life. Daily shower or bath, regular oral hygiene and other daily hygiene routines positively affect your outlook and make you happier. You can hardly feel happy if you have not had the opportunity to take a shower for several days.

      • You don't have to dress the best in the world to feel happy. However, taking care of your appearance significantly improves your mood.
      • If you are careless in clothes, then there is a high probability that in life you do everything carelessly.

   7. Have a fun day at home. If you want to give yourself a little happiness, try to arrange a day of pleasure right in your house. Take a day off and use this time to properly relax. Take a hot bath, make hair and face masks, or just lie back on the sofa, enjoying the soft light of candles and the sounds of your favorite music. You have to love yourself and be able to feel that it's time to relax a little and pamper yourself.

      • Consider getting a massage or giving it to yourself. This will help you relax physically and mentally and make you feel happy.
      • Don't forget that you deserve to be taken care of, even if you are very busy. Take the time to take care of yourself and your body's needs, and you'll feel happy.

Every person deep down dreams of becoming happy and everyone strives for this. But look around: how many happy people will you see? Here, in my opinion, is a paradox: everyone wants happiness, but few people manage to feel it in everyday life, not just once, but regularly or even often.

At some point along the path to happiness, most people experience a "failure". In this article, I will consider the causes of such "failures" and propose a strategy,.

As the article progresses, I invite you to answer questions so you can better understand your relationship with happiness. I recommend that you answer the proposed questions in writing - so you can really understand something new about yourself and apply the psychological ideas described here to your life.

What is happiness

In my opinion, happiness is not only about emotions, because emotions cannot be constantly maintained at the same level. But you can organize a certain way of life for yourself so that you can live the life you want.

Turn to yourself and think:

• What is happiness for you?
• What makes you a happy person?

Happiness is a feeling, you either feel it or you don't. To see the possibilities how to become a happy person, it is important to understand your personal idea of ​​happiness. That is, first you need to understand WHAT you want to do, organize in your life, and then HOW you can do it.

If you find it difficult to immediately answer these questions, remember: When was the last time you felt like a happy person. Relive these memories, immerse yourself in them, feel the echoes of that happiness. And then analyze what caused you to feel happy in that situation. Perhaps what made you happy then will help you figure out how to be a happy person now.

The feeling of happiness is made up of your satisfaction with different areas of your life: family, work, friends, home, leisure, hobbies. Note that the feeling of satisfaction is purely subjective, there are no external criteria in it. What matters is what you feel and think.

For example, outwardly everything in your life looks great: you have a family, work, housing, your life is filled with communication with different people. But you do not feel like a happy person, on the contrary, you often feel sad, depressed, apathetic. Other people may say: “What are you?! Everything is good in your life!” You believe them, drive your unpleasant feelings away, but you still can’t feel happiness.

In this example, it turns out that a person is guided by external criteria and other people's idea of ​​happiness. But what is happiness for one person will not be happiness for another. The question "How to become a happy person" is individual and subjective, and only you can give yourself a specific answer.

Here we come to the first important step on your path to happiness - to understand what you want. But it's not as easy as it might seem at first glance.

The answer “I want to become a happy person” will not work here, more specifics are needed. And your answers to the questions of the previous part of this article - about your personal idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhappiness will help you with this. Think about what you need to feel happy.

I want to live like this or "this is how it should be"

First reason. Since childhood, we all have been told a lot how everything should be ... In this way, people learn to adjust their lives to “the way it should be”, “as is customary”, “like everyone else”. But this path does not answer the question of how to become a happy person for you. It has nothing to do with your personality, and this is one of the reasons for possible “failures”.

Refer to your answers to the questions about happiness from the previous part of this article. Consider whether these answers reflect your personal view, or whether they relate more to conventional ideas about happiness. Pay attention to the emotions that arise:

• How do you feel when you think about your happiness?
• Do you have an emotional response and does the desire to become a happy person light up inside?

Lack of vivid emotions is a sign that your answers do not fully reflect your personality. And then it is important to filter your personal desires and ideas from the "generally accepted".

I know what I want, but I'm scared - suddenly it won't work out

The second reason. You know what you want, but you are afraid to try, to take risks. You're scared that you won't succeed. This state is illustrated by the saying “Better a titmouse in the hands than a crane in the sky”. You persuade yourself that it is so good, but occasionally you still continue to dream about “how it could be different.”

It turns out that you have certain restrictions inside you that prevent you from moving freely towards your happiness. You know how to be a happy person, but you don't act out of fear.

Trial and error is natural. And indeed something may not work the first time. When something doesn't work out, you can change your strategy and try something different. But if you're afraid to even try change your life, you are controlled by irrational internal constraints.

And these restrictions can be checked against reality.

• Feel what exactly you are afraid of?
• What happens if you suddenly try and you don't succeed?
• How will you feel if you fail?
• What will failure mean to you?

Answer these questions and analyze how real your fears are.

Such an analysis can lead you to an understanding of your deepest irrational beliefs. For example, you may be afraid of making a mistake, of feeling like a failure, or of the possible catastrophic consequences of doing the wrong thing.

Try to relate your fears to reality. Think about what you can do if something doesn't work the first time. When you imagine what you will do in different scenarios, fears stop slowing you down. And then you can freely begin to implement your strategy on how to become a happy person.

If at this first step you encounter difficulties in one of the options discussed above, this may be an occasion to reflect, spend more time analyzing these difficulties, or seek the help of a psychologist.

It can be difficult to feel and decide on your own how to become a happy person for you: understand your desires, get rid of irrational restrictions and just believe in yourself. When I work with the topic of happiness in psychological counseling, I help you access your desires, recognize social stereotypes and obligations that affect you, and replace “interfering” factors with supportive ones.

In the next article, I will continue to talk about the strategy of how to become a happy person.