How to make a decision when not. How to make the right decision? Learn to trust your inner voice

The life of each of us is an endless stream of decisions. You constantly have to choose: what to buy, how to spend the evening, which profession to choose, which deal to accept and which to reject, etc.

Fortunately, in most cases, making the right decision is fairly easy. Our subconscious does not have to spend a lot of time choosing one of the options, since it is definitely better. But there are situations when it is not clear which of the chosen options will bring more benefit and less harm.

Remember the legendary movie "The Matrix" when Morpheus offered Neo to choose one of the pills. From the outside it may seem that choosing freedom and life in reality was easier and more correct than forgetting everything and continuing to exist in a fairy tale. In fact, most people choose the other side in their lives.

But we digress a little from the topic. So, there are situations when it is not easy to make the right decision. Each of the possible options has a lot of pluses and even more minuses that we would not like to receive. In addition, each of the options will have a lot of consequences that we could not even imagine.

2 approaches to decision making

There are two ways that can help us make a choice. We have used each of them in our lives, simply, someone chooses one more often, someone uses the second more often.

1. When to enable logic?

Careful consideration of possible options and their consequences is characteristic of making logical decisions. Using this approach, we can weigh the pros and cons, analyze the possible benefits and losses of each of the possible options.

The logical approach is best used in situations where there are many inputs and most of the consequences are easily predictable. As a rule, this approach is better applied in business and in any other business areas of life, in cases where the possible risks are very high.

2. When to use intuition?

Often we find ourselves in a situation where it is almost impossible to imagine the further development of events. There is no past experience corresponding to such situations, and there is no way to extract and analyze information from other sources. And you need to make a decision quickly, because "delay is like death."

In this case, there is nothing left but to listen to your intuition and not make a quick and unambiguous choice. Still, we will not be able to build any accurate forecasts.

The need to make such decisions almost always arises in personal life and in everything related to human feelings and emotions.

Regardless of which approach you tend to take more often, I recommend following these five principles to help you make the right decision:

Principle 1. Never rely on "maybe". Always make your own decision.

Don't wait for things to work out on their own or for someone else to do it for you. Indecisiveness is also a decision, but in this case you are no longer in control of the situation, therefore you are not in control of your life. Often people put off making a decision until there are no alternatives worthy of attention, and this is no longer a decision.

Consciously making a decision, however unpleasant, will prepare you in advance to accept its consequences and, most likely, it will be easier for you to cope with its negative consequences. Or maybe you can even find a way to get rid of some of the problems associated with it.

Principle 2. Make a decision quickly.

Postponing the decision for later, we tend to raise our bet in this game. As a rule, intuition tells us the best ways, but intuition only works for a short time, then all your past experience, fears, doubts and other nonsense that the brain is loaded with comes into play. All this only clutters up our consciousness and encourages us to make mistakes.

The sooner you can make your choice, the more time you have to prepare for its negative consequences. There will be time to “lay straw”, as a result, you will be able to get more out of the path you have chosen.

Principle 3. Once you've made your decision, take action immediately and don't stop.

Nothing delays the achievement of goals like procrastination. Once you postpone the implementation of your decisions, it will not be difficult for you to postpone them in the future, and this is fraught with the fact that you will never achieve the goals for which the decision was made. Often, what we thought about and decided to do is forgotten after a few days. The long box has not been canceled yet - it is in it that all our greatest achievements are stored.

Principle 4. Do not change your decision half way to the result.

Achieving any result takes time and effort. It makes no sense to expect that the result will come easily and quickly. And if you constantly change your decisions, then all this will look like Brownian motion (chaotic movement of the molecules of a substance, in which the substance itself does not move anywhere) and no result will definitely come.

Drive it into your head - you can get the result only by reaching the end.

If you have made a decision to become rich, then act to the end. If you decide in a week that it is difficult and it is better to become healthy. Stop saving money and start eating right. After another week, you will stop eating vegetables, because. you want a barbecue, and decide to be beautiful by playing sports. Then you can continue on your own.

Principle 5. The most important. Never regret your decision.

Often people believe that they made the wrong decision. It was necessary to act differently. The trick is that you can never know if you did the right thing, because. check is impossible. Always consider your choice as the only correct one.

For example, you bought a car, and a week later its engine broke down. The first thought - it was necessary to buy another, but, on the other, at the most inopportune moment, the brakes could fail. What would be better?

In fact, it is not difficult to make the right decision, it is much more difficult to take responsibility for its consequences! Follow these rules, they will help you and get outstanding results.

Good luck, Dmitry Zhilin

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Throughout their lives, every person often has to make an important decision. He also faces the need to choose throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy home, what series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such minor everyday issues can put a person in front of a choice, the result of which may depend on mood or even fate.

Big and small problems

If you understand it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choices. Well, if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color tie goes best with a shirt ... Such trifles usually do not leave a trace in the memory. Another thing is when a person's future life is decided from a choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether it is worth connecting fate with a person you like or investing in a business. In these cases, the issue price is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person runs the risk of being left without lunch, then here the retribution for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.

For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and his ability to resolve the situation.

Why is it important to make a quick decision?

Every person wants something more in this life: build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have a beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - take it and do it. But there is a small nuance: the possibilities have become so extensive that a person is lost in front of a choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go to the designated goal. Therefore, before making the right decision, it is necessary to analyze and weigh everything well. Today our world is arranged in such a way that not "big eats small", but "agile eats slow". Speed is everything. A small, but actively developing firm can suddenly absorb a clumsy giant.

In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help overcome doubts and make the right decision.

Time to choose

If you have time to think about each question, then you should consider each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. The more versions, the more chances to find the best option. You can even write down different situations and their possible solutions on paper. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think everything over.

In fact, choice is a unique property of a person that nature has given him. With it, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make a choice himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means that he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps to make the right decision and how to take an important step?

Fear of failure

When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failures, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, this is the moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before you quickly make the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.

In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will tell about it in different ways.

The world through the prism of beliefs

We see our world through the lens of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is needed. Based on this, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one should not give up, one should not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the situation. “I can't do anything. I am a small person. I have nothing but work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent me from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in myself, depriving me of a choice. Due to such blockages, important information does not reach our consciousness, we simply reject it.

Is there a choice?

Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But how it will be, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened like that”, “I couldn’t restrain myself”. In other words, a person himself does not understand how he did this or that action, and as a result he cannot realize the consequences.

In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform competent actions in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, knowing not only ourselves, but also the world around us. A clear and precise understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis of an effective choice.

Right Criteria

The main question today, which many people ask themselves: "How to get out of this or that situation?" Experts are sure that there is always a way out if we set the right criteria, which we determine for ourselves.

For example, if a woman wants to create a harmonious relationship and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, swarthy, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only the external forms of the goal. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to established criteria, but how to understand if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.

The main criteria for the right choice

For the right choice, the task should be filled with many sub-items: what kind of relationship do you want, what kind of chosen one should be in character. And this goal must be carried in your heart and understand that it is you who are worthy of it. By no means can there be any doubt. You need to believe that a worthy person will definitely meet on your way. It is important to look at inner qualities: will it be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and peace, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.

In a trap

Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require balanced decisions, which you need to be prepared for. And it depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The biggest mistake people make is an outburst of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any impasse requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and a person drives himself into a trap. No need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But as they say, you learn from your mistakes. And that's the kind of experience that wisdom brings.

Choice without lot

How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs all the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing arguments in the form of a table. But what if the result is a proportion of 50x50? How to find the right solution to the problem without resorting to the services of lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:

When making a choice, you should look a few steps ahead: what results this or that result will lead to. The only right decision should come consciously, after carefully weighing all the possible consequences.

Desperate situations

Surely each of us faced unforeseen situations that required an immediate decision: someone managed to accept them, and someone did not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and missteps, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. The main mistake of many people is unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave because of fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so that later you do not pay the price for ignorance and ignorance.

How to make the right decision

There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, before making the right decision, it is necessary to remain calm. After all, it depends on how the problem is resolved. Collect your thoughts, look into the subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of this situation. And what solution comes to mind first, this is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, because being in an unbalanced state, you can make rash choices.

So what helps you make the right decision? These are life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconsciousness, situation analysis and logical thinking.

The whole life of a person consists of a series of decisions - large and small. Some of them affect the rest of your life. Many people have difficulty when faced with the need to make a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process the most effective, and what methods can be used to do this.

Every day life puts us in front of a choice, throwing up a variety of tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? What phone to buy? Where to go to rest during the holidays? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Quit your job or stay? There are decisions that do not really affect anything, but there are those that radically change life.

All people behave differently when they make decisions. There is a category of people who are called "pofigists". They never suffer from a choice, because they prefer the first available or the simplest option. They put on the clothes that they take out of the closet first, go on a date with the one who invites them first, get the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t worth the effort.

Another category of people when making important decisions is guided by intuition. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not many such people.

Most of the people are individuals who experience difficulties during the choice. They suffer, doubt, weigh each option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you are one of those people and do not know how to make a decision, if in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn a few methods that make the selection process easier.

Method 1. Descartes Square

The essence of the method is to consider the problem you are facing from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. For each section, write one of the following questions:

What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?
What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?

Think and write in each square the answer to the question. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and not implementing it, you can understand what decision you should make.

If you don’t know how to act in this or that situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Folk wisdom says that each person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides on the right path. The guardian angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through a loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.

Method 3. "Expanding the scope"

The problem with most people is that they narrow themselves down and see no alternatives. They tend to obsess over “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to borrow a car. You see only two choices - take a car on credit or continue to travel by public transport.

By expanding the selection box, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse a loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and not use public transport; you can generally change jobs by getting a job in another company located close to your home; you can arrange with one of your colleagues to drive you to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.

Method 4. "Disappearance of options"

Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to work for has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other, equally interesting options for a new job that you have not seen before because you are fixated on one.

Method 5. "Glass of water"

The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, the founder of the Silva Method, the author of books on non-traditional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour into a glass of clean, unboiled water. Hold the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that concerns you and clearly articulate the issue that needs to be resolved. Then, slowly, drink half a glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”

Place a glass of water next to your bed and go to bed. In the morning after waking up, the first thing to do is drink water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.

Method 6. "Delay"

If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you are excited and your brain is overloaded with information, making the right choice is very difficult. Remember how often in a hurry you made the wrong decision, and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require an instant decision, so don't be afraid to put it off for a while.

Method 7. "Know the information"

Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to give preference to. When it comes to buying a product, read online reviews about it. When deciding to change jobs, find out all about the position you are about to take and the people who have worked there before you. If possible, seek out these people for first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.

The more important the decision you make, the more responsible your approach to finding the right information should be. So you protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.

Method 8. "Reject emotions"

Emotions make it very difficult to make the right decision, because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally aroused person is not able to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule for yourself: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, anger, as well as stormy joy, euphoria are bad advisers in making decisions.

If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. So you will protect yourself from rash acts and their consequences.

How to get rid of emotions?

Even when you understand that emotions are preventing you from making the right choice, you can't always get rid of them. To facilitate this process, use simple methods.

10/10/10

This method allows you to discard momentary impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:

How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?

Let's say you want to borrow an expensive car. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? Surely you will be in euphoria, rejoicing in your acquisition. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden, you will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and needs repair, or maybe you are already so tired of it that you want to sell it.

The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you have done later.

stay in the dark

A good way to subdue emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person, helps to put thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this is done so that gold and precious stones play better and shimmer in the rays of light? Not only for this. Marketers know that bright lights are more likely to cause a person to make impulse purchases.

If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a semi-dark or dark room, think again about the consequences of your choice.

Breathe deeply

Another simple but effective method to help in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow and deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”.

Think about what advice you would give to a friend.

To reduce emotions and cool the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who is facing the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?

Many people notice such a feature in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their acquaintances, but they themselves, getting into similar situations, behave extremely stupidly. This happens because looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves inside the problem, then a lot of all sorts of little things pop up, to which we attach too much importance.

The ability to abstract and look at the situation with an open mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.

Method 9. "Following life priorities"

Each person has his own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of feedback from you; the second is less prestigious and not with such a high salary, but you do not need to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?

To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family is in the first place, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but it will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.

Method 10. "Intuition"

Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. It can tell you a way out when rational methods have not brought the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, and the inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe you should listen to him?

Develop intuition, and it will become a great helper in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.

Once in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or rather, apply several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best, and you will be able to use it in a variety of life situations. By learning how to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to make a difficult decision. How to make the right decision when in doubt? What direction of study to choose? The partner with whom I am now will not disappoint me in the future, do I have love with him for life? Should I accept the offer or can I find a more interesting job? These are just some of the dilemmas most of us face.

The choice of what to buy - apples or pears, seems insignificant compared to decisions whose consequences can affect a lifetime. How can you be sure that you are making the right decisions? How to avoid internal dissonance, the impression that the option you gave up might be better than the one you chose? How to make difficult decisions?

Decision-making methods

Two decision-making strategies are mainly used - heuristics and algorithms. Thinking algorithmically, a person carefully studies and analyzes, compares the pros and cons of a particular option. Heuristics saves us time because it appeals to emotions, intuitions, preferences, internal beliefs, without "calculation".

It seems that in the case of a difficult choice, it is wiser to think things over carefully several times before making a final decision. Meanwhile, people are very often guided by their hearts rather than their minds - even in the case of making decisions that affect their entire life (for example, when choosing a life partner). How to understand what is best for us in this situation?

Depending on the rank of the problem, a person usually uses from 1 to 3 decision-making strategies. What methods are used in making life choices?

1. Obtaining information from others

When you do not know what to decide on, you often use the support of loved ones, friends, family. You consult, looking for additional information. If you need to make a difficult decision, you should consult with others, ask what they would do in a similar situation. Brainstorming, exchanging views with others helps to look at the problem from a new point of view.

2. Postponing a decision in time

If no one and nothing helps, take your time with the choice, give yourself time. You may temporarily not feel strong enough to make decisions that could affect your entire life. Postponing a decision until later can be a good idea, because during this time new facts may be discovered that will help make a choice. But it is important not to put it off indefinitely, in the end you need to decide.

3. Eliminate the worst options

When you have several different options and you don't know which one to prefer, make a choice, eliminating what seems to be the worst and least interesting. At the end of such a screening, there will be a better alternative.

4. Choosing the lesser evil

The choice is not always between good-better or good-worse: you have to choose between two not the most attractive options. How do you choose between two equally unpleasant alternatives?

You need to choose something that carries fewer potentially negative consequences, and come to terms with the decision. There are things that we simply cannot influence. Therefore, sometimes it is easier to accept the need to make a decision with bad consequences than to make such a choice.

5. Before you choose, analyze

This is a strategy related to algorithmic thinking. List the pros and cons of each of the alternatives and choose the one that has more positive consequences. In other words, a balance is drawn up of the gains and losses associated with choosing one option and rejecting the other. However, such a cold calculation is not always possible, because sometimes emotions take precedence over reason.

6. Act on the spur of the moment

Sometimes there is neither time nor opportunity to consider the proposals received for a long time. Then you need to make a decision spontaneously, immediately, on a hot hand. In this case, it is better to trust your instinct, inner voice. Not always, guided by emotions, we act recklessly. In retrospect, this turns out to be the right decision, so trust yourself and your intuition.

7. Descartes square

One of the most effective and simple ways to make a difficult decision. You are invited to analyze any situation or problem from different points of view. To make the right decision, answer four questions by looking at the figure below.

Be careful when answering the fourth question, because your brain will try to ignore the double negative and try to answer like the first one. Don't let this happen!

Why is this method so effective? When you are in a situation that requires you to make a difficult decision, you often get stuck at the first point - what happens if that happens? However, Descartes' square allows us to look at the problem in many ways and make a carefully considered and informed choice.

8. PMI Method

How to effectively make difficult decisions? You can use the Edward de Bono method - the PMI method. This abbreviation is a derivative of English words (plus, minus, interesting). The method is very simple. It is based on the fact that before a decision is made, it is comprehensively evaluated. A table is drawn on a sheet of paper with three columns (pluses, minuses, interesting), and arguments for and against are indicated in each of the columns. In the “interesting” column, everything is written that is not good and not bad, but at the same time connected with the decision.

Below is an example. Decision: whether to rent an apartment on the outskirts with a friend?

When this table is drawn up, a scoring is made for each of the arguments in accordance with the direction (arguments for are indicated by a plus, against - by a minus). For example, for some, more space is more important than pleasant company. At the end, the value of all arguments is summed up and it is determined whether the balance will be positive or negative.

The PMI method cannot be called innovative, it is not fundamentally different from how we make decisions in everyday life. He seems to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of a given choice. Nothing is further from the truth. Most of us, when making a decision, actually take it for ourselves from the very beginning and then select arguments that would justify our choice. Even if it turns out that the decision we made has 3 more minuses, we will still choose it. People are actually not very rational, guided more by personal preferences, taste, etc. Pros and cons on a sheet of paper will allow for an accurate analysis, at least with a partial disconnection of emotions.

People are very often afraid of the consequences of their choices and do not like to make decisions. They would willingly shift the responsibility for their lives onto other people. Unfortunately, if we want to be happy, we must learn to solve our own problems and bear the burden of life's choices. There is no guarantee that others would do it better for us. We will never know if the options we ignored are better than the ones we chose, so don't weep over spilled milk and constantly regret the positives of rejected alternatives. Constantly lasting dissonance kills us morally.

what to do if you are a leader and you face a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: one cannot be pardoned, one cannot be fired, and it is not clear where to put a comma. In this article, we will share several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.

If you are trapped

Usually making a difficult decision is necessary in a difficult life situation. Stress affects a person in different ways: someone withdraws into himself, someone is worried and does not sleep at night, someone is hysterical and breaks down on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche, often he is not able to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or his inner circle. Time shows that impulsive and ill-conceived decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, career, your relationship, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before using the methods described below in practice, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.

There are several ways to calm emotions:

short-term - breathe properly. Take 10 deep slow breaths - this will help you calm down;
medium-term - imagine that your friend is in such a situation and asks you for advice. What will you tell him? Surely discard all emotions and try to look at the situation from a distance, objectively. So try it;
long-term - take a timeout. Just let go of the situation for a while, do other things, and after a week or a month, return to it. So you will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not chop off the shoulder. And secondly, the right decision will ripen in your head on its own, like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.

Now that emotions no longer influence your choice, let's talk about eight reliable decision-making methods.

1. Method of pluses and minuses

Use the good old way: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in two. In the left column, write all the pros of the chosen solution, in the right column, respectively, the cons. Do not limit yourself to a few positions: the list should contain 15-20 items. Then calculate which will be more. Profit!

The essence of the methoda: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the ratio of pluses and minuses, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?

2. Make habits

This method is suitable if you find it difficult to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to raise the salary of a new employee or not worth it yet, put on the site or another company. What to eat for dinner, in the end, french fries or fish and vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and continue to follow them. For example, enter an iron rule: raise the salary of employees only after six months of work in your company. It is cheaper to buy stationery products exclusively from the Skrepka company. There are light and healthy dishes for dinner - you yourself will soon say thank you. Well, with the callback, you get the idea, yes.

The essence of the method: following habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully equipped.

3. Method "If - then"

This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: immediately dismiss him or try to re-educate him? Try using the "if-then" technique. Tell yourself: if he once again allows himself to mistreat the client, you will deprive him of the bonus. If the incident repeats, fire.

The essence of the method:as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately fall off the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a negligent employee.

It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch. The rule is: Before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:

what will you think about it 10 minutes later;
How will you feel about your choice in 10 months?
What will you say in 10 years?

Let's take an example. Let's take a young man who works as a manager, does not like work, but tolerates it, because money is needed. He dreams of quitting, taking a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of burning out and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a tit in the hands is preferred to a crane in the sky.

It is difficult for our hero to take the first step - to quit his hated job. Let's say he does it. In ten minutes, he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will have time to rent a room, equip a pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out, he will find a manager’s job anyway, so why regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any meaning at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of the two. It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes such a difficult task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.

The essence of the method: when making a difficult decision, we are usually overwhelmed by emotions: fear, anxiety, or vice versa, joy and excitement. A person feels it right here and now, feelings obscure the prospects for the future before him. Remember, as in Yesenin: “you can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future looks hazy and vague, the decision will be delayed again and again. Making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and ceases to be afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.

See also: Three real stories.

5. Decide within 15 minutes

Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes. A familiar situation: the company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the bottom line is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done nasty things, and it is not clear what to do: to respond in kind or to get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis hit your company, and you are confused: move to a less prestigious place or lay off a dozen employees. How to make the right choice here, and is there one? And you start to pull, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself.

If you do not know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer in this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any decision. Yes, at first glance it may seem nonsense. But what about planning, but what about testing and verifying solutions? OK, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investments check the correctness of the solution - check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately note the time.

The essence of the method: needless to say, if you play for time, nothing is solved: crises do not go away, rental prices do not decrease, and competitors become even more toothy. One unaccepted decision drags others along, the business sags and becomes inefficient. As the saying goes, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.

6. Go beyond narrow boundaries

The same as what we wrote at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of the two, hit or miss, oh, was not! But who said that the problem has only two solutions? Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation wider. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option, to apply disciplinary measures to the offending employee for the first time.

The essence of the method: when there are only two solutions, there is more chance to choose the right solution, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: do not be afraid to look her in the eye and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in management activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This will be the best solution to the problem.