Fear of going crazy or losing control over yourself: how to deal with them? A few rules for controlling fear. Loss of control is an instinct

Did you break your grandmother's service in the heat of a quarrel with your loved one? Know: hormones are to blame for everything! After all, our emotions are a product of the reaction of the brain and the endocrine system. Stress triggers a complex biochemical process in the body, as a result of which porcelain cups fly to the floor, obscene words come out, and slaps are used for those who are especially unbalanced. This is how scientists explain the nature of emotional breakdowns.

However, why did your grandmother's service lived a long, quiet life, despite the fact that she also quarreled with her grandfather? The fact is that self-control - the ability to think when emotions go off scale - is a purely individual value. In many ways, the ability to control emotions depends on your cultural and social attitudes, and they are clearly different from grandmother's, if only because you are people of different generations. For her, talking in raised tones is a sign of bad upbringing, for you it is the norm. Hence the different reaction to the same stimulus.
In addition to behavioral stereotypes, many factors influence our self-control: the state of the body as a whole (if your stomach grumbles, your teeth aches, and your feet rub your shoes, it’s difficult to control yourself), features nervous system, the strength of the stressful situation.
The expression of emotions is a normal physiological process. And not only for you, but also for a friend who, deftly dodging a pan flying at him, muttered through his teeth: “Here is a psychopath!”

strong argument

The advantages of the ability to maintain composure in critical situations are obvious: you do not do things that you can later regret.
But there are more disadvantages from controlling emotions, albeit hidden ones. If you constantly hold back your emotions, unexpressed aggression slowly depletes your nervous system. As a result, the accumulated negativity can take the form of some kind of disease, reduce vitality and commit meanness towards you.
So if a person always keeps himself in tight rein and does not know how to relax from time to time, then this is not at all a virtue that should be envied. Too good is bad. Hypercontrol causes us to be too demanding of ourselves, and, as a result, of others, sometimes forcing us to break away on the weaker and defenseless, leads to muscle tension and pain (especially in the head, neck and back). Some psychologists believe that the use of drugs and alcohol is also a problem for those who do not know how to properly relax and relieve stress.
Conclusion: do not overplay both with hypercontrol and with the justification of your own nervous breakdowns, which can develop into habitual behavior.

Full eclipse

If letting off steam at the right time is good, then what happens to us when emotions are completely out of our control and overshadow the mind?
With a real loss of control over oneself, a person has a special psychological reaction. The climax of emotion is accompanied by a rapid heartbeat, blackouts in the eyes, a sensation of brain explosion, followed by a feeling of weakness. If this happens to you regularly, then you need to seriously take care of your nervous system - you have overloaded it with something! Do you feel unable to cope with this problem on your own? In this case, contact a psychotherapist, he can help.

Got something to lose

To maintain self-control when you want, you need to be able to competently lose it. The nervous system relaxes when you have sex or sleep, play sports. Rollercoaster rides and horror movies help some relieve stress, and Brad Pitt's character and his comrades, for example, renounced their problems in the "fight club". But in general, any shake-up methods are good, the main thing is not to get stuck in a state of constant stress.
Do not accumulate situations in which you want to hit someone, but you, as a cultured girl, do not do this. It is important not to convince yourself that you are calm and nothing special has happened, but to express anger and work out the physiological response to stress. With a caustic remark, you can get a screamer so that he swallows his own tongue. Master this art and you won't feel like you've missed a beat if you respond in a calm tone. Do not forbid yourself and other civilized forms of expression of aggression. You can challenge an unpleasant person to some duel: beat a sports or intellectual game, make a project faster and better. Some experts also advise: if you understand that aggression has accumulated, try to use it for peaceful purposes, for example, get a salary increase from your boss for your colleagues and subordinates.
If you don’t have the opportunity to respond to the offender, relieve emotional stress in other ways: give your best at a workout in the gym, hit a pear, just run in the park or at home do exercises that are difficult for you. Physical activity, as a rule, makes the action of stress hormones weak. Everything that relaxes the muscles also helps a lot: massage, yoga, bath or sauna.

double work

All these methods help to dampen one's own emotions for a short time, but they cannot solve real problems and win back the "aftertaste" of stress. They also require willpower, which in an exhausted state of strength is often not enough. Use these and other popular methods to maintain self-control is only as an aid. You need to seriously work on yourself together with a specialist.
And finally: do not rush to sound the alarm after a nervous breakdown. Most of the time, we just allow ourselves to lose our temper. If you "fly off the coils" quite rarely, do not self-flagellate. The ability to occasionally discard self-control can serve you the glory of the original or just a sincere living person with his own weaknesses. And this, as a rule, causes sympathy in people who are aware that they themselves are far from perfect.

affect effect

Do not confuse loss of control over yourself with a state of affect. This is a complete loss of control, an acute and quick defensive reaction, which is accompanied by an extraordinary act. A person can save himself or save his neighbor in an extreme situation, showing the world unprecedented physical strength. Or it can inflict grievous bodily harm on an opponent who is physically much stronger than him. Perfectly healthy and mentally stable people sometimes fall into an affective state, for example, if they find themselves in ice water or see the death of a loved one. After this, a sharp decline in strength occurs, a person falls into prostration, partially or completely forgets what he has done.

Takes nothing

Did you find yourself in a situation where you urgently need to pull yourself together, and your nerves are already at the limit? There are several tricks for this.
. VISUALIZATION. You can distract yourself from unpleasant emotions by imagining yourself in a glorious place, for example, on the seashore.
. MODIFICATION. Imagine an offender (for example, a yelling boss) with ears like Cheburashka's, or in shorts with butterflies.
. SWITCHING. Watch your breath, imagining, say, that you breathe with your palms or heels.
. RELAXATION. Let your face and neck muscles rest. Relax them and concentrate on it.
. DISABLE. Look at the situation from the outside, imagine that everything that happens is a performance.
. SPEAKING. A hundred times retold event loses its emotional component, so repeatedly “speak” the situation with different people: a psychotherapist, girlfriends, fellow travelers.

TEXT: Anna Nikitina
We thank Vadim Murashov, PhD, psychotherapist for his help in preparing the material.

CHAPTER 4 Fear of Losing Control

Under the influence of a temperament or negative experiences in the past, many of us stop trusting others. This simple fact makes a huge difference to how you feel while flying. Flight, being an incomprehensible and potentially dangerous phenomenon, activates distrust in our minds, the inability to transfer responsibility for your life and health to other people, and activates it in an exaggerated form. If you can identify the detailed problem in yourself, you need to replace the DON'T TRUST habit with the TRUST habit. How to do it? It's not difficult, although not entirely pleasant. I will give detailed instructions below, in the section "What to do with your fear."

Real dangers and what only APPEARS to be.

You will continue to develop aerophobia until you force yourself to think in facts, not assumptions. Agree, your assumptions may well be wrong, unlike the FACTS. Any phobia is based on ASSUMPTIONS, and only facts are needed to defeat it.

Let's consider several situations:

Example #1

You and your friends are relaxing in nature. The weather is beautiful, you are in a delicious mood, the barbecue is almost ready and nothing portends trouble. At this moment, one of your friends screams in fright and says that he thought he had just seen a snake in the grass.

All your feelings and emotions will change in the same second, you will be tense, your good mood will be replaced by a desire to leave the place where you are. All to ensure your personal safety. There is no evidence of a snake, but your vacation is ruined because you SEEMS you are in danger.

Example #2 A small child is afraid that Barmaley lives in the toilet. His behavior is associated with the fear of Barmaley, therefore he bypasses the toilet, asks to keep the lights on at night, accompany him to the toilet, etc. There is no fact of Barmaley's presence, but for the baby's brain this fiction about Barmaley is almost a fait accompli.

Consequently,

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Fear of losing control “We believe… we are in control of our lives; we make plans and start notebooks, and then when we turn around to look at ourselves, we understand that life has its own structure, its own vector. * * * One fine day at the end of March I was returning to

Fear of going crazy, and losing control over yourself, suggestion.

Asked by: Julia

Gender Female

Age: 18

Chronic diseases: There are no diseases, there is only a symptom of VVD (Panic attacks), now VVD does not touch me so often anymore.

Hello, Doctor!
I would like to describe to you my situation, as well as ask how I should proceed in the future.

I have a fear of going crazy, I instill this in myself, and I realize it, I'm also afraid of losing control over my actions.
There is also a feeling that I seem to be flying somewhere, and I don’t understand what is happening, whether I exist, and whether the world exists at all, for real or not, but this feeling is not for long. But it worries me very much.
I don't think it has anything to do with the physical condition, I think it's some kind of nerves? Although now there is no reason to be nervous. Or maybe it's all self-hypnosis?
I don’t know how to stop autosuggesting everything to me, I always inspire myself with everything, even after each movie viewing (horrors, for example, or where the girl went crazy), after the movie I start to think that I’m just as crazy, and I start to believe it, as if I even begin to perform similar actions, but also imposed by me.
It started recently, maybe a week ago.
I am at home for 4-3 days, I don’t go out, because it’s very cold there, I communicate with friends through social networks. Networks. I have communication.
Especially when I sit alone at home, all these phobias become aggravated.
Also, I am a hypochondriac - I always take care of my health, and I think that I am sick with something, if something hurts.
I can perceive natural things (like pain in the head) as not just ordinary pain, I start to think that it is a tumor or something, and not only with the head.

If I inspire myself with all this state, then how can I help myself? Do not inspire yourself how?! How to live simply and not think about it?
Maybe I need something to drink?

1 answer

Don't forget to rate the doctors' answers, help us improve them by asking additional questions on the topic of this question.
Also do not forget to thank the doctors.

Hello Julia.
Most likely, we are talking about an anxiety disorder. The clinic of neurosis in each person is unique and may include a wide variety of symptoms. Despite the vivid symptoms of neurosis, it does not lead to insanity and does not affect the functioning of the organs in any way and is completely harmless, both for the psyche and for the human body.

Also of great importance is the establishment of a daily routine, sports, improvement of living conditions and intra-family relations. More details about the treatment of anxiety disorder: http://preobrazhenie.ru/psychiatry/lechenie-trevojnogo-rasstroystva Most likely, we are talking about an anxiety neurotic disorder. The clinic of neurosis in each person is unique and may include a wide variety of symptoms. Despite the vivid symptoms of neurosis, it does not lead to insanity and does not affect the functioning of the organs in any way and is completely harmless, both for the psyche and for the human body.
The main thing in the treatment of neurotic disorders is psychotherapy, where a person, at first, learns methods of relaxation and self-regulation of the body. And then - a deeper work is needed to understand the mechanisms of neurosis - as a psychological defense and the development of new skills that are more constructive and useful for life.
To do this, you need to go through at least 1 face-to-face consultation with a psychotherapist, and psychotherapy itself can also be done online via Skype. If necessary, medications can be prescribed: antidepressants, tranquilizers, antipsychotics.
Also of great importance is the establishment of a daily routine, sports, improvement of living conditions and intra-family relations. For more information about the treatment of anxiety disorder: http://preobrazhenie.ru/psychiatry/lechenie-trevojnogo-rasstroystva

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In psychology and psychiatry, there are many different phobias. Some of them are common, such as fear of heights, darkness, spiders, snakes, etc. But there are phobias that are rare and can negatively affect the human psyche, greatly complicating his life. One of these phobias is the fear of going crazy, scientifically known as dementophobia.

Dementophobia - fear of going insane

Concept definition

The term "dementophobia" is used to refer to the fear of insanity. It comes from the Greek words Dementos and Phobos, which translate as "madness" and "fear". In psychiatry, the fear of going crazy is also called lyssophobia.

A person with dementophobia experiences extreme anxiety or panic when faced with the thought of going crazy or when they see a scene depicting an insane person. Excessive fear of this type can affect daily life. Often, the fear of going insane prevents a person from leaving their home or maintaining contact with their loved ones. This is due to the fact that he is afraid of harming loved ones, considering himself prone to insanity. Most sufferers of this phobia are socially isolated and severely depressed.

Reasons for the appearance

In most cases, the most likely cause of the fear of going crazy is the presence of this disease in blood relatives. Society is very cruel to people suffering from mental disorders such as schizophrenia, manic depression, etc. In the 19th and 20th centuries, the only solution to the problem of insanity was to place the patient in a psychiatric hospital, where patients were strapped to a bed and treated with electric current . A person who witnessed such cruelty to a family member or friend, or read about it in the media, films or news reports, developed a fear of going insane in order not to end up in such a hospital. A traumatic event in childhood, such as murder, abuse or rape, etc., can also lead to a fear of going crazy.

Many famous talented people had mental disorders. Their life experiences can also exacerbate the fear of insanity. Fame, talent and wealth eventually lead to insanity. Thinking about such facts causes depression, which can cause dementophobia.

Stressful situations exacerbate excessive thoughts of insanity and can turn into fear of insanity. Phobia believes that insanity can cause abnormal behavior, panic attacks, a complete loss of control over oneself, can make a person say strange things, etc. This can lead to ridicule or contempt from society. Stereotypes such as "all mentally ill people are violent, dangerous, etc." can cause all categories of mentally ill people to be avoided. These stereotypes are justified to some extent: there have been cases where schizophrenics were allegedly controlled by demonic forces or voices in their heads that asked them to do certain acts of violence.

Mark Chapman, John Lennon's killer, claimed he was asked by "higher powers" to commit the brutal act. After this murder, the number of cases of dementophobia increased. It has also led to misconceptions and stigmatization of mental illness.

Today, modern medicines can help prevent insanity and its symptoms, although they must be taken regularly and often throughout life. Films depicting violent crimes committed by patients after treatment for this phobia can exacerbate the disease.

stress as a reason

The reason you feel like you're losing control of yourself, that you're losing your identity, is constant stress.

Intrusive feelings appear suddenly and persist for a long time, it may seem that this is caused by a problem of physical or mental health. If you feel anxious, you may misinterpret this symptom as something wrong with your mind. This can trigger a high degree stress response that will exacerbate the problem. Fear of going crazy is a common catalyst for a panic attack, phobia and changes in the body's response affect each other.

It is worth noting that intense anxiety associated with a possible loss of sanity does not indicate a problem with your sanity. This is another sign that your body is responding to stressors, which is why stressed people often believe they are going crazy, relying on their unbalanced psyche, intrusive uncontrollable thoughts, and unusual behavior.

Symptoms

Dementophobia has various mental and physical symptoms:

feeling of doom, anxiety;
sudden depression;
the appearance of a neurosis;
clouding of consciousness;
a state of panic;
derealization;
shaking hands, lightheadedness, palpitations, shortness of breath.

The condition is aggravated by interacting with a crazy person or reading reports about mentally ill people.

Fear of being rejected, ridiculed by society can cause a person subject to a phobia to lose touch with reality or become socially withdrawn.

Anxiety symptoms

The fear of going crazy usually causes intense anxiety, which is unlike the excitement or anxiety associated with ordinary life situations. This anxiety manifests itself in the following way:

You suddenly become afraid that you may lose your mind or control over yourself and that you will not be able to think clearly, you have a "mess" in your head.
You may feel that you are unable to remember any information.
You are afraid of a nervous breakdown or neurosis.
You may have periods of intrusive thoughts that pop into your head that you can't get rid of and that motivate you to do something crazy.
You may have thoughts that you are starting to lose your mind, gradually going insane, or losing control of your thoughts and actions.

The content of the thought may be strange, disturbing, unrealistic, irrational, as in schizophrenia.

The main symptom of insane anxiety is the fear of having a serious mental illness or being committed to a mental institution for the rest of your life due to an incurable mental illness.

Anxious thoughts are an essential symptom of a phobia

Anxious thoughts as a source of fear

Feelings of anxiety and fear that something bad is about to happen activate the body's stress response. This reaction causes a series of changes in the body to prepare it for immediate emergency action: either fight or flee. Some of the changes are associated with changes in brain function. The stress response causes the amygdala (the fear center of the brain) to become active, and the cortex (regions of rationalization of the brain) to be suppressed. This change in brain function can increase the perception of danger and reduce the ability to rationalize.

When the stress response triggers this change, we are aware and able to respond quickly to danger rather than wasting time processing information that could jeopardize survival.

Due to changes in brain function, we may experience an increased sense of danger, but have more difficult temporal rationalization. Sometimes this change is enough to make us think that we are starting to lose our minds. This makes us even more worried.

When the stress response ends, the body returns to normal functioning, the cerebral cortex resumes normal function, and the activity of the amygdala decreases. This reduces the perception of danger and allows us to think more clearly. Usually after that, the feeling that we are going crazy is lost.

overcoming

The fear of going crazy is difficult to control and treat. The compatibility of drug treatment and counseling therapy is known to prevent the anxiety associated with this disease. The disadvantage of drugs is that they can increase patients' belief that they are crazy.

Many modern therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, are also proving helpful in helping them understand the meaning of their fear and overcome it. Other helpful treatments for dementophobia are hypnotherapy and NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming. Both methods can help you get out of the lunatic obsession and get rid of the fearful thoughts and symptoms associated with the fear of schizophrenia.

When this fear is caused by anxiety and stress, the best way to eliminate it is to recognize that it is caused by the body's active response to stress.

Then you need to calm down to reduce stress. When the body relaxes, the work of the body returns to normal.

There is no connection between anxiety and insanity. It may seem that you are starting to go crazy because of anxiety, but this is not so. Do not worry, you must try to avoid disturbing situations.

Many people have this problem, although the reasons for its occurrence are different. Sometimes this fear is based on distrust and unconscious repetition of parental behavior, and more often - psychological trauma, as in one of my clients (although strictly speaking, trauma is the basis of any pathological behavior). This story I want to tell, it is very instructive, especially for those parents who have two or more children. And maybe someone will remember his story. The main thing to understand is that there is always a reason.

In this story, my heroine controls almost everything, especially her daughter. Actually, she came to me with this problem: her daughter started her studies, and she was very afraid that her daughter would leave school, as she had in her time, go into all serious trouble, and so on. “If I don’t check, something terrible will happen, so I will check everything or do everything myself - it’s more reliable that way.” Of course, it is based on distrust of the mind, memory, responsibility, opportunities, abilities of other people. So to begin with, I gave her a very good technique for independent work.

At the next appointment, he enthusiastically says: “My daughter (a teenager) was asked to read a book at school, I immediately got on the Internet, downloaded it electronically to a tablet so that my daughter had a book (well, as usual). And can you imagine, I tell her that I downloaded the book for her, and she shows the book that she took from the library ... ”My client was both surprised and delighted at the same time by the fact that it turns out that her daughter is quite capable of solving many issues herself, without her participation and control, which is exactly what was required in this situation.

When they began to figure out where she got this fear, the following story came to mind: When Anya was 6 years old, she had a brother. My brother is 3 months old, my mother went to bed with a migraine, put my brother on the sofa, put Anya next to me and strictly ordered me to sit next to him and not take my eyes off him until the feeding time comes - “You’ll wake me up in an hour!” - said the mother. Anya sat out the allotted time, her mother continued to sleep, and the child had to be fed. And now, almost verbatim: I decided not to wake my mother so that she would get enough sleep and not scream at me (screaming, displeasure and irritation were the norm for mom), and went to the kitchen to cook food for him. The brother had not yet rolled over, lay quietly.

I’m in the kitchen, I hear the child’s cry, and while I was fussing to do something with food, my mother flies into the kitchen and slaps me in a big way, shouting: “I told someone not to leave!” well, and many more unpleasant words and moralizing, the essence of which is to control.

The child rolled over and fell off the couch for the first time, cried, mother woke up ... Of course, nothing bad happened to her brother, something bad happened to Anya - she got injured - there was a fear of losing control. Anya did not want to part with her guilt in any way, she continued to consider herself guilty for having moved away, disobeying her mother, that she had to do as she said. Guilt left when I asked her to say her simple words: "It's my fault that I'm a child." She burst into tears and said: No, it's not my fault that I'm a child.

Here, once again, I want to draw attention to seemingly obvious things that are rarely taken into account when raising children:
1. You can not shift the responsibility for younger children to the older child. In this situation, the little girl could not have foreseen that the child would roll over and fall off the couch. It was already hard for her to sit for an hour next to the baby. She herself was still a small child.

2. Being a child means, among other things, not knowing something, not being able to, not foreseeing, indulging, making mistakes, doing stupid things, playing and much more. The child is not an adult. And in this situation, the responsibility of an adult was shifted to the girl, and then also the responsibility for what happened.

Another client's fear of losing control of the situation appeared in connection with the rape. The girl was 16 years old, she and her boyfriend were at some kind of outdoor event, something like a demonstration. They came to her house, ate (parents, by the way, were at home), moved to her room, and she, tired, fell asleep. The young man took advantage of this. Parents were already very tough, but here it is ... The young man began to intimidate her, and for a long time she could not tell her parents, she was afraid to confess, but when she said (I had to, she got pregnant), she heard a lot of nasty things in response, including: guilty...
Fear of relaxing, losing control, guilt, did not let her go for many years, she stopped trusting people ...

Another story, with a different context, but according to the reaction of the parents - even worse. One of my clients has, among other things, a difficult relationship with his father. They hate each other, you can't say otherwise. One of the stories that left a very heavy mark on Alexander's soul: when he was 10 years old, their whole family went to visit their grandparents in Altai. All relatives gathered at the table, the boy was instructed to look after the younger children (5 and 3 years old), the feast was in full swing, Sasha listened with interest to the stories of adults, when the parents realized: where are the little ones? Someone remembered that he and the local children went to the pumping station, a rather dangerous place for small children. Mom ran to look for the children, and the father became furious and severely beat his eldest son, and kicked him. Resentment remained for life, spoiled relationships, and ... - fear of losing control ...

I don’t want to comment, read, think, realize, remember, there is always a reason ...

Popova I.V. The article is protected by copyright law.

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