The fear of falling in love is philophobia. How to get rid of philophobia? Intimophobia - fear of physical intimacy

The fear of falling in love, which often coexists with the desire to find love, is called philophobia.

This phobia, manifested with different strengths. One of the distinguishing features of the philophobe is the desire to find happiness, which appears in his work, is present in dreams.

However, in a situation, as soon as a person finds a loved one who treats him with sympathy, the philophobe triggers an internal fear. And, obeying him, he personally destroys the relationship. As a result, a person with this phobia may be left alone or choose a person who will not demonstrate sincere feelings, replacing them with coldness and cruelty, as an object of love.

But philophobes, carefully taking care of themselves, only in isolated cases remain with a partner who does not show mental pressure, but physical strength. Having an extremely negative impact on life, a phobia requires help from psychotherapists and psychologists. It is almost impossible to eradicate uncontrolled fear on your own.

Fear of falling in love is a condition that can affect any individual. However, it is believed that women and adolescents are more prone to its occurrence.

Completely different moments can act as "triggers". Highlighting from them the common reasons due to which philophobia is formed, they can be conditionally divided into two subgroups: difficult personal experience of the past and third-party influences.

Personal experience

The classic reason for the formation of fear is a negative love experience. In the mind of any person, difficult and negative moments are fixed more thoroughly than something positive. Therefore, memories of how difficult it was to endure the pain of losing a loved one displace images of the positive beginning of falling in love.

Driven by the fear of falling back into a depressive state after a breakup, of feeling mental anguish, the philophobe deliberately closes himself off from situations that can provoke a new feeling.

Within the framework of negative past experience, the loss of a loved one means not only the breakup of relationships. The death of a loved one, a betrayal that could not be forgiven, a forced separation also give rise to irrational fear.

Personal experience can come from childhood. In this version, it is based on the absence of a trusting relationship with the stepfather or stepmother, on the situation when a small child appears in the family, receiving a lot of care and love from the parents. Children who grew up in unfavorable conditions, incomplete families, may notice a fear of falling in love.

third party influence

Any external influence has a greater impact on people with certain personality traits and characteristics. These include suggestibility, impressionability, suspiciousness, anxiety, unstable self-esteem and insecurity, isolation, a tendency to experience for the slightest reason.

Philophobia can develop due to:

In some cases, an irrational fear is formed under the influence of fear of losing control over oneself, emotions, and life.

Symptoms

Such fear can be noticeable externally, but internal sensations are also characteristic of it. Depending on the strength of the development of the phobia, the symptoms can either be “erased” or be expressed very clearly.

External possible manifestations

One of the distinguishing symptoms of such fear is the conscious "disfigurement" of appearance. The philophobe resorts to such measures, relying on the desire to push away personalities that are capable of provoking falling in love. People with this phobia may refuse to take care of their appearance, neglect their appearance, deliberately injure themselves (scars, burns), cover the body with a large number of tattoos.

Leaves an imprint fear of falling in love with the environment of a person. A person with this pathological fear may deliberately surround himself with a group of people whose members do not cause sympathy or sexual interest.

At the same time, it is important for a philophobe that not only does he not experience attraction, but that he is treated neutrally. For the same reason, contacts with the opposite sex can be cut. And the “victim” himself will try to minimize those moments when it will be necessary to be in the company of people of the opposite sex, especially alone.

Philophobia can also appear:

• , nervous behavior;
• redness of the skin, tremor, stuttering;
• a feeling of lack of air;
• inability to think clearly and clearly;
• other characteristic symptoms dictated by the nervous system.

Internal symptoms

Internal discomfort in situations where the phobia is exacerbated is characterized by increased anxiety, restlessness, inability to control one's thoughts, visual images. Along with similar obsessions of different types can be noted.

Philophobes are sufficiently prone to depressive states, against which heavy thoughts often predominate. Along with the fear of falling in love, additional phobias are often noted. Due to the irrational fear adjacent to the inner desire to love and be loved, such people are characterized by the ambivalence of desires, behavior, states.

Individuals with a similar phobia gravitate towards different types of aggressive behavior. Often it manifests itself in the form of auto-aggression. Also typical is gloomy negativism, based on the fact that not a single person is able to sincerely love them, which means that parting and pain will be inevitable.

Phobia Treatment

Identifying a phobia on your own can be problematic. A person can deny the presence of fear, attributing all manifestations to a combination of circumstances. And if the disease does not manifest itself brightly enough, then it may even go unnoticed for a long time.

However, it is important to understand that neither self-analysis, nor attempts at self-hypnosis and a painful head-on collision with one’s fear can bring any result. At the same time, this approach can worsen the condition. That is why it is so important to seek help and support from a specialist.

Drug therapy

In the treatment of fear of falling in love, medications are not dominant. However, in a situation where panic attacks and anxiety coexist with the phobia all the time and are strongly expressed, drug intervention may be justified.

Various types of tranquilizers are used to relieve negative symptoms. Along with them, it is permissible to use antipsychotics as adjuvants, sedatives or antidepressants with a pronounced tendency to depression.

Psychotherapy

The key option for correction is individual counseling, a psychoanalytic approach, and Gestalt therapy can also be applied. Such actions allow you to understand the basis of the phobia. Only after accepting and realizing the root cause can appropriate corrective work be carried out.

The main goal is to convey to the mind of the philophobe the idea that love is not always something painful. Working through the problems and traumas of the past allows you to form new ideas and images. In a situation with this phobia, hypnosis is rarely used to replace negative components.

Group therapy can be used as a communication type training or personal growth. The first option allows you to learn how to interact with people of the opposite sex. The development of personal qualities helps to deal with internal blocks. Group work aimed at combating anxieties, fears, increasing self-esteem and stress resistance can also give positive results.

Uncontrolled fear of falling in love is not a sentence. More than 90% of people suffering from this phobia who seek help from specialists successfully get rid of the condition within a couple of years. Refusing self-hypnosis and not closing your eyes to the problem, you can remove fear, gaining harmony and a much-desired feeling of love.

Being in love attracts, pleases, makes us feel even when we don't know anything about the person we care about. But not everyone can open their heart to give similar feelings. Why? Where does this distrust come from? What's stopping you from falling in love?

There are many reasons why a person is afraid to have feelings for the opposite sex. It can be internal turmoil, unshared or rejected signs of attention, fear of the future, responsibility. But these reasons are superficial.

The fear of falling in love is the fear of accepting a person as he is, with all the shortcomings and virtues, character and own opinion. And rather, this fear is disturbing because a person may have once encountered circumstances in which these factors manifested themselves in a negative form.

Philophobia

There is a term - philophobia, so called fear of falling in love. Translated from Greek, "philos" means "beloved, to love," and "phobos" means "fear."

Of people, philophobia are called philophobes. They avoid the possibility of becoming attached to anyone and claim that they are not capable of experiencing feelings of love for others.

There are two types of philophobes. Some are able to hide their fear of falling in love and love, plunging into work, others are not, but they are exactly the same in one thing: in distrust of the opposite sex.

Situations in which there is a possibility of establishing close relationships cause panic, sweating, breathing problems in philophobes of the second type; sometimes they can't stand talking about love not to mention the fact that it is not easy for them to fall in love. And oddly enough, but such a disorder is more often observed in people who dream of love. In their thoughts and dreams, they see pictures of love relationships, but in life they cannot make their dreams come true.

Philophobes do not let anyone into their personal territory and are afraid of strong feelings, which is a very serious problem, because of which these people are unable to be sincere. Their obsessive state, which expresses fear of falling in love makes them unhappy. They lack emotional connections and contacts; communication with people at work or in a friendly company does not bring them joy and satisfaction, as a result, a person, completely desperate, runs away from a problem or plunges into loneliness and cannot escape from his distrustful world. If the philophobe does not get rid of this, then there is a risk of remaining unhappy and lonely forever.

According to statistics from the American Association of Psychotherapists, there are 250,000 people in the US alone who are philophobes.

Signs of philophobe

Fear of relationships over time affects the manner of human behavior. It is not difficult for a Philophobe who cannot hide his fear identify by signs of closure, unwillingness to answer questions about personal life, avoidance of conversations. He is embarrassed, does not want to be alone with a person of the opposite sex, stutters, blushes, gets confused in words.

With a more balanced person suffering from philophobia, things are different; it can be given out by a quick transition to another topic of conversation, smirks, ignoring.

Philophobia Symptoms

Psychologists distinguish two complexes in the symptoms of philophobia:

1. aggression;
2. victim.

Aggressive complex manifests itself in negative and destructive emotions, which the philophobe directs at himself because of injustice, as it seems to him, and self-accusation. He wants to be loved and fall in love himself, but a strong fear of love makes him think that he, in general, has no right to want her, therefore he blames himself for the manifestation of such desires.

As for the victim, here the philophobe is in the strongest depression. He experiences humiliation, cannot accept injustice, suffers from any failure, remembers sad moments, is offended by life. Such a person is helpless, he is unable to survive the pain that only accumulates in constant disappointments.

The complex of aggression is more related to men, and the victims are more often women.

Causes of Philophobia

• events of their past.
• Exaggerated requirements for a partner.
• Unhappy love.
• Lack of sexual experience.

Events from the past are one of the main causes of philophobia. Children who grew up in constant scandals, in conditions where the child was treated with disdain, fear of life is formed from an early age. Such children, when they grow up, afraid of intimate relationships; According to psychologists, this is a defensive reaction of the subconscious because of the fear of repeating past events, which prevents the first feelings of love from showing. If the child witnessed the betrayal of parents, tears and suffering, then in the future he develops a subconscious distrust of a partner with whom he could have a close relationship. In this case, the philophobe does not believe in a happy family and is confident in the future betrayals and disappointments that await him.

Children who are brought up in favorable conditions, in prosperity and in a friendly family, are not ready for difficulties and any disputes. They are try to look for partners of their circle, which fails due to excessive requirements for a partner and the inability to accept people as they are; idealize, prone to romance. And these qualities lead to constant disappointments, as a person cannot get what he wants.

Unhappy love leaves its traces in a person's life. Unrequited feelings, loss of a loved one, divorce, strongly affect emotional people. They are initially embellish the relationship, idealize, give in to emotional pleasant impulses, and when the picture of love changes and brings only suffering, they emotionally experience the bitterness of loss in the same way and no longer believe in reciprocal feelings; afraid of new disappointment, try not to look at life through rose-colored glasses and convince themselves that fairy tales about love do not exist.

Lack of sexual experience is an important reason for the development of philophobia. Mostly people with low self-esteem afraid of sexual relations. This may be due to the fact that a person was constantly criticized, humiliated, devalued his achievements. Such reasons push a person to the idea that he is not ready or incapable of any action, especially sexual. Also, an unsuccessful sexual experience or violence exerted a strong influence on the human psyche, which makes it impossible to overcome one's fear.

How to get rid of philophobia?

Philophobia is a disease. It can develop due to an unstable human psyche and lead to suicide. There are many proven methods in psychiatry that will help get rid of the fear of intimacy, but the best way is to contact a specialist.

To get rid of this disease it is important to understand the essence of the problem by the patient himself. If a person realizes that the cause of his disorder is primarily in himself and has a desire to change his life, he has every chance to avoid bad consequences and correct the situation himself, with the exception of those who have experienced violence.

For this you need:

• People with low self-esteem to develop: learn languages, travel, read books, etc. In this way, they can be distracted from the fear of being underestimated, and their acquired knowledge will lead to success.
• Those suffering from philophobia due to unhappy love, excessive demands on a partner and lack of sexual experience can get rid of the problem thanks to auto-training. They will teach you to deal with subconscious fear, to see the world with all its shortcomings and to be an optimist.

The main thing is to follow the rules and change everything in your eyes and actions, try, try to change yourself, become different in your desire fruits of mental struggle they will not keep you waiting long, and the fear of falling in love will dissolve in endless worries, communication and knowledge of a new life.

Are you afraid to fall in love? Or does the thought that someone can truly fall in love with you scare you? The suffered failures in love often completely discourage any desire to enter into an amorous relationship for fear of experiencing the most severe pain again.

But love is an amazingly powerful thing: it can both mix you with dirt and give you wings. But if you are not ready to try, to make efforts, then faith in love will not return to you. Give yourself hope, open yourself to this feeling, allow yourself to love!

How can you find your love and fall in love again without fear of pain and disappointment?

Imagine that love is allowed

Allow yourself to become attached to your partner, feel his care and warmth. These feelings will not do anything bad to you: they are good, correct, positive. And if you show your feelings, your partner will be much calmer and easier to act, knowing about reciprocity. Remember, you are not alone in your concern about the rightness of a love relationship.

Get the past out of your mind

When you really like someone, but the ghosts of past failed relationships scare you away from a new partner, tell yourself, “This is different. This is a different person. It's a different relationship."

Remind yourself that you are now wiser, more emotionally stable. Learn from your mistakes and move forward leaving the past behind. Think positively, believe in a new relationship. Having this attitude will be beneficial for both.

If the past still does not let you go, try talking to someone close or consult a psychologist. Sometimes this approach helps to better understand the picture of your fears.

Some focus not on the past, but on the future. The constant questions “What if…”, “What if I’m just wasting my time?” torment the head and do not allow to love.

By constantly worrying about the future, we waste our energy and do not live in the present.

Remember that time spent building relationships never goes to waste, it is always valuable and teaches us.

Look into the eyes of your fear

Are you afraid of losing yourself, your individuality? If in the past you were wildly jealous or constantly criticized, this does not mean that the new relationship should be similar. Leave the past in the past. And realize that the situation you are in right now is different - two people are ready to take care of each other and make mature decisions together.

It is noteworthy that when it is present in you, it helps to build clear, but friendly boundaries of relationships even at the beginning of their formation. Let your partner know that you need personal space, time to be alone with yourself, the ability to do things alone, and that this will not affect your love and relationship at all.

Remember, constantly improving yourself and being complete individuals is much better than being just part of a couple. There should always be "air and time" for yourself in a relationship, and both of you should understand that there is nothing wrong with that.

Don't rush

You do not fall in love at first sight or so that even sparks pour from your eyes? Are you careful and need time? Good! Realize that this is more of a positive fact than a negative one.

Take your time and calmly develop your relationship. Be wise, honest, direct and open with your partner.

Love "cooked over a slow fire" is often strong and respectful.

In addition, it is less traumatic psychologically than lightning love, when the habits of one person can become an absolute surprise for another.

Don't give up on your interests

Being in a love relationship means supporting each other, and not changing under the influence of a partner and not trying to constantly change something. But if such a desire arises: the sooner you discuss what does not suit you in a relationship or what you would like to change, the better.

Warn your partner about the peculiarities of your life: whether it's a traditional trip to the bathhouse on the 31st, or an allergy to a cat, a mandatory Saturday fishing with friends, or not wanting to have children.

But if something can still be changed and make concessions, then in no case should you give up interests that are truly important to you! Both of them will be unhappy. If this is preventing you from building relationships, repeat the mantra of being open, honest and polite to each other and start over.

Epilogue

Love is multifaceted. Love is not universal. It has no clear boundaries. Everyone has their own definition of this feeling. How do you personally feel about love? Perhaps it is worth changing your point of view, and fears will disappear by themselves?!

Love can take you by surprise. Appear in disguise, common interests, weekly pub talk. She doesn't have to be crazy. It can be as simple or as complex as you wish.

But love is above all talking to someone who means a lot to you. And when all fears are behind, you can open up to feelings and truly love, you can enjoy love relationships, while knowing not only yourself, but also your partner.

Good luck and love to you!

Love is one of the most mysterious and controversial feelings. It gives a person strength and at the same time makes him vulnerable and vulnerable. Gives a feeling of happiness and euphoria. But if the lover is not reciprocated, everything ends with a terrible depression and suffering. Most men and women dedicate their whole lives to finding love and a soul mate, when some people deny this feeling and are afraid of it.

Philophobe: what is he?

A person who has philophobia (this is how the fear of close relationships is called in psychology) does not have to look gloomy and unhappy. Some people really prefer to be alone with their thoughts and devote themselves to work. Others love company, friendly meetings and entertainment. relationship fearsomewomenturns into nymphomaniacs, and men in ladies' man, whichalways take the initiativeconstantly looking for new experiences and change sexual partners without regrets. Sometimes people with a phobia refuse sexual relations so that animal instincts do not prevent them from conquering peaks.

To diagnose the fear of relationships is beyond the power of an ordinary person. Some philophobes try to become invisible to the opposite sex with the help of excess weight and an untidy appearance, when other people take care of their own bodies with pleasure, look after their appearance and spend money on beautiful clothes. Often people who have a fear of falling in love abandon their families and children, or vice versa, get married and turn into exemplary fathers and mothers.

Philophobes choose different paths and behaviors, but they are all united by the inability to trust the opposite sex. They will never blindly fulfill their partner's requests and will dissolve into their soulmate, making their husband or wife the center of their universe. For some, the fear of close relationships is a gift that makes them invulnerable and strong, but for others, such a disorder becomes a punishment that prevents them from being happy.

Fear of Love: Greetings from the Past

Small children who grew up in an atmosphere of constant scandals eventually cease to believe in a happy family life. From the point of view of psychology, they have a fear of intimate relationships - this is a defensive reaction of the subconscious, which does not want a repetition of history. The situation is aggravated if the father raised his hand to the mother, or one of the parents cheated on the other half. Tears, suffering and other negative emotions are deposited in a child's head, which are already projected onto a potential partner in matured boys and girls. This is how the reluctance to take initiative in relationships is formed, male and female love fears, which are much more difficult to overcome than to acquire. Philophobe believes that he will face the same disappointment and future as his parents, therefore he prefers loneliness.

Girls from happy and friendly families tend to romanticize the image of their father, while boys idealize their mother. In the future, they begin to look for partners similar to their parents, and when they do not meet, they are disappointed. Men's failures in sexual relations with women and the problems of girls with boys gradually form a fear of love and relationships in general. Some lower the bar and put up with the shortcomings of the second half, just not to be left without a couple, while others try to educate their wife or husband so that he begins to match the ideal image.

They diagnose fear of relationships, especially sexual ones, and in people with low self-esteem. For example, if parents and others constantly devalue all male achievements, criticize and treat with disdain, then gradually the guy comes to the conclusion that he is not good enough to create a strong relationship with a girl.

Philophobia as a result of a bad experience

The reason that a person is afraid to take the initiative in a relationship may be male and female complexes and fears that appear after a negative experience, for example, a difficult divorce, sexual failure, violence. Women who have experienced sexual violence are afraid of sexual relations, because all masculine qualities for them come down to aggression and meanness. Men who have become victims of pedophiles or homosexuals are afraid to take the initiative and get close to the girl, expecting misunderstanding and condemnation from her side. The inability to get rid of negative experiences after such a sad experience often causes male sexual dysfunctions, which only aggravates the situation. In such situations, the fear of love can be combined with the desire to start a family, which makes a person suffer even more.

Fear of the opposite sex also appears after an unsuccessful relationship or divorce. After betrayal, deceit, betrayal and pain, it is difficult for a person to trust someone a second time. If women, after a hard break or divorce, try to avoid males in general, then divorce can affect men in a completely different way, they can turn into womanizers and heartthrobs. After a divorce, they project their pain and distrust onto other women, try to take revenge on their former lover with their help, become cold, detached, and prefer free and short-term relationships to serious ones.

For some, as a result of divorce, the fear of a serious relationship appears because of the fear that new feelings will awaken subsided pain and hatred. For others, philophobia becomes an armor that makes them invulnerable and strong. Once upon a time, his lofty feelings were abused and laughed at, and now no one dares to lay claim to his heart and thoughts.

Fear of love: other reasons

Kissing is one of the ways to demonstrate love and get emotional pleasure. Ordinary people do not see anything unpleasant or terrible in such actions. They are happy to take the initiative in love and the desire to enjoy kisses. But there are special people who are afraid to kiss. This is what causes their loneliness. A phobia can be triggered by:

• fear of having fun or losing control of one's own actions;
• fear of microbes that live in the oral cavity of another person;
• reluctance to let someone get too close;
• a feeling of tightness and constraint when someone takes the initiative in their own hands and tries to penetrate the comfort zone.

So that the fear of kisses does not develop into a panic fear of a new relationship, it is necessary to visit a psychotherapist and overcome this problem with him.

For some, the phobia of love is not a consequence of divorce, but the loss of a wife, husband, or one of the parents. At first the man was insanely happy, and then death deprived him of joy, forcing him to suffer. After such shocks, thoughts may appear that you will definitely have to pay for love, so it’s better to stay alone. Such events often cause depression, which is impossible to get rid of on your own.

Philophobia also occurs in infantile people who do not want to take responsibility for the life of a partner. Men's obligations to their soulmate and the need to take care, spend material and moral resources on a woman seem frightening to guys.

Symptoms and treatment

There are times when an adult is simply not ready at a certain stage of his life to take the initiative and start a family or at least a permanent partner. This does not mean that he has a phobia of love and sexual relations.

Philophobia is characterized by a range of symptoms: constant irritability, irascibility and nervousness, insomnia or other sleep problems, combined with a bad mood and fear of losing freedom. Proven methods of psychology and psychotherapy will help to overcome such symptoms, as well as male and female fears of sexual contacts. Therefore, if at some stage in your life, for example, after a divorce or breakup, you notice such symptoms in combination with the fear of starting a new relationship, it is better to immediately contact a specialist. A person suffering from a love disorder speaks of a desire to start a family, but prefers to limit himself to light flirting and short sexual contacts without obligations. He suddenly stops looking after himself or, conversely, buys a gym membership and goes on a diet to get rid of figure flaws.

If a philophobe realizes that he has a fear of love, but he does not want to change his habits and give up freedom, then the person needs treatment. Patients with childhood trauma related to psychology should see a psychotherapist, as should survivors of abuse. Negative memories and emotions must first be spoken out, and then gradually get rid of this burden.

It is good for people with low self-esteem to pay attention to themselves and constantly develop: read books, learn languages, sign up for dancing or find another hobby that will make you feel important. You can overcome the negative psychological consequences of divorce, the fear of love and kisses in group or individual classes.

In severe cases, sedatives, antidepressants, or tranquilizers will help. Only a specialist can prescribe pharmacological treatment, who must determine the person’s condition, and how much the fear of relationships interferes with normal life.

You can achieve good results with the help of auto-training, which will teach you to look at others and your problems with optimism, love and appreciate yourself. Sometimes, to overcome subconscious fear of love, it is enough to meet new people, move or find another job to improve your emotional state and become more open. Such a problem as philophobia responds well to treatment, but only if the person himself wants to get rid of it and is ready to open his heart to his soulmate.

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How to get rid of the fear of a serious relationship.

There are many obstacles in the way of a happy relationship. Most of them are fears. In this article, you will learn how to overcome them.

How to get rid of phobias and fears on your own: advice from a psychologist

• First determine what kind of phobia you have. Then read what thoughts trigger it. Tune in to the desired way of thinking, get rid of obsessive ones.
• Then each phobia needs an individual approach. However, when choosing your method of getting rid of a phobia, be sure to check the tips from the article.

Fear of men - androphobia: symptoms, causes

• Unpleasant experiences from the past. They are associated with failed relationships.
• A family. If the relationship between the parents was bad and the mother constantly condemned the father with her daughter.
• The phobia appears due to watching movies where men show cruelty and malice in relationships.
• Confidence in your unattractiveness.

As expressed:

• A woman constantly feels falseness in the courtship of men. It seems to her that behind all their attempts to start communication, there is a desire to take possession of her and leave her.
• She feels anxiety in places where there are a lot of men.
• The word man for her is associated with selfishness and arrogance.
• A woman subject to this phobia is too critical of men. He finds many faults in them.
• She often considers herself a feminist. Constantly seeks out facts of violation of women's rights by men.

Ways to solve the problem:

• Admit your fear. And do not try to hide it behind the fact that men are "bad."
• After the first paragraph, consult a psychologist. With the help of hypnosis or conversations, he will help you look at men as ordinary people.

• You can write letters in which you express all your feelings because of them. Of course, such letters should not be sent to the address.
• Encourage and support yourself. Every day, consciously do not allow yourself to criticize your actions.
• Practice communicating with men.

Fear of falling in love - philophobia: symptoms, causes

• Search for the ideal partner who has only positive qualities.
• The loss of a loved one and the idealization of his personality. This makes new relationships impossible.
• Unsuccessful relationships with the opposite sex. The previous partner was rude or cruel.
• Adolescence trauma. Unrequited love, transferred from 12 to 18 years. During this period, failures are usually perceived more painfully than by adults.
• Family problems. If a child often saw scandals, humiliation in his family, he becomes unpleasant to the opposite sex.

What reinforces philophobia?

• Low self-esteem
• Fear of losing personal freedom
• Fear of taking responsibility for your decisions

As expressed:

A person is often unaware of this phobia. He creates his own comfortable little world, into which he does not let outsiders. This world consists of a convenient philophobe way of life.
• The stronger the philophobia, the more difficult it is for a person to share his feelings and emotions.
• A person either tries to be alone, or is constantly in a noisy company, in a crowded place.

• Philophobe can be sloppy, cares little about his appearance. Or go to the other extreme: pay a lot of attention to your appearance.

Ways to solve the problem:

• Realize what hidden benefits philophobia gives you. To do this, you can use the technique from the video at the end of this subtopic about philophobia. Such benefits can be: protection from the loss of a loved one, protection of personal space and freedom, as well as protection from disappointments.
• Become more aware of your behavior. Notice those moments when you are driven by philophobia. Awareness of the problem is the first step towards solving it.

• Boost your self-esteem. To do this, praise yourself even for small successes. At the end or beginning of each day, note five of your positive qualities.
• Develop positive thinking. To do this, every day, remember five happy events of the past day and five of your achievements. And also find five positive qualities in people that you currently do not like. Read books by Luza Hay or A. Sviyash.
• Try to communicate with new people more often, travel.
• Do the usual things in an unusual environment. For example, take your morning walks in a new, unknown area.

VIDEO: NLP: how easy it is to change in 15 minutes? (reframing)

Fear of women, girls - gynecophobia (gynephobia, feminophobia gynophobia): symptoms, causes

• A cruel, overbearing, or short-tempered mother. Or she quickly changed moods.
• The father is weak and weak-willed.
• Bad personal experience. Personal unsuccessful relationships or just an unpleasant situation associated with a woman. Sometimes ladies act tense and aggressive with men because of past disappointments or bad stereotypes. Therefore, a man immediately faces the unpleasant side of girls.

As expressed:

• Discomfort when trying to start a conversation with a girl. It could be anxiety or a strong surge of fear.
• Fear of being the first to start an acquaintance, even if the girl is pretty.
• A gynecophobic tries to communicate with women as little as possible. Next to them, he feels weak and unprotected.
• When communicating with women, feminophobes can be rude and impudent. They try to emphasize their superiority.
• Gynecophobes are afraid to have intimate contact.

Ways to solve the problem:

• You can consult a psychologist. But only if your phobia is not amenable to your own treatment.
• Try to get to know the girls better. The unknown is scary. And if there is no uncertainty, it will be easier to start communication each time.
• Realize that girls are people just like you. They have their complexes and fears.
• Practice more often in communicating with girls.

• Don't be afraid of rejection. Someone's "no" is not at all a confirmation of your unattractiveness. This is just a sign that somewhere there is an even more interesting and beautiful girl who will say yes to you.
• Try to get rid of negative experiences from the past associated with girls. Imagine that a girl who once offended you tells you her story. Remember, any aggression is evidence of a person’s complexes and fears. Mentally see how the girl says that she is sorry that she herself felt bad, that's why she did it.

Fear of kissing - philemaphobia: symptoms, causes

• Fear of appearing awkward and inexperienced
• Fear of getting uncomfortable
• Fear of losing control of oneself and the situation
• Unpleasant sensations when someone is in your personal space
• Once upon a time, a guy / girl with whom a person kissed laughed at his manner of kissing
• Unpleasant memories of someone kissing you against your will
• Sometimes philemaphobia is closely related to the fear of being infected with other people's microbes (bacteriophobia)
• Fear of rejection or rejection

fear of kissing - philemaphobia

As expressed:

• Philemophobes are afraid of relationships, try to avoid contact with the opposite sex
• At the thought of kissing, these people feel dizzy, nauseous. They tremble and experience a lot of stress
• Looking at a simple scene in a movie with a kiss or at a kissing couple, the philemophobe feels fear and disgust

Ways to solve the problem:

• Realize that your partner loves you. And any kiss will be pleasant for him, simply because he will kiss you.
• Consult with a psychologist.
• If you have a fear of the first kiss, then after kissing once you will no longer experience it.
• Realize that kiss rejection is not a big deal. Make frequent attempts to start new relationships. Then rejection will stop scaring you.
• If you are a man, remember that a woman may refuse a kiss because of coquetry or shyness.

• Read about women's and men's hidden sexual cues to know whether or not to try to kiss.
• Do not try to learn how to kiss from manuals and instructions. Each person is unique and individual. Everyone has their own preferences in kissing. So just be observant during the process. Try to feel whether your partner likes what you are doing or not.
• If you are afraid of bad breath, then remember a few simple rules. The smell from dental diseases like caries or tartar cannot be masked, only cured. To make your mouth smell good before kissing, chew gum for 10 minutes. You can read more about treating bad breath at.

Fear of sex and sexual relations - genophobia: symptoms, causes

IMPORTANT: Fear of showing one's inexperience in a young woman/young man should not be confused with erotophobia. It can be overcome by gaining experience over time.

• Severe pain with loss of virginity
• Violence experienced in the past
• Negative attitudes from childhood. The mother or grandmother who said sex was dangerous and dirty
• Complexes due to the fact that a person is convinced that he is ugly
• Your partner's sarcastic comments about your sexual relationship

fear of sex - genophobia

As expressed:

• A person tries to avoid intimacy, refuses, coming up with excuses.
• In severe cases, he tries not to have a relationship at all.

Ways to solve the problem:

• If you are body shy, understand the simple truth. Your partner loves you and your body is perfect for him.
• Decide more to practice. In time, the fear will go away.

Fear of sex - erotophobia: symptoms, causes

• Violence
• Suggestion by adults that sex is dirty or shameful
• Bad personal experience

Ways to solve the problem:

• Consult a psychologist or go through psychological training.
• Think about the benefits of successful sex: incredible sensations, improved relationships with a partner or partner, healing and positive emotions.
• Talk to your partner, discuss the problem. Ask him to be gentle with you.

Fear of sex - erotophobia

Fear of first intimacy - intimophobia: symptoms, causes

• Not knowing how to behave
• (In the case of girls) Fear that after sex, the guy will lose interest

How it manifests itself:

• A person tries to avoid contact with the opposite sex.
• Avoids relationships and is afraid of falling in love. knows the relationship will have to go through sex.

Ways to solve the problem:

• Get rid of the attitude that not knowing about sex and being inexperienced is shameful. This is your first time. Not knowing much about something you've never done is not bad.
• Be sure to protect yourself, make your sex safe. Then you won't have to regret the first time.

• Relax and get ready to enjoy. Think of the pleasant sex that the heroes of films, books or your acquaintances had. You can do it too!
• (For women and girls) Mentally thank your fear for trying to protect you. And let him go. Realize that your partner will help you and become your protection. The incentive to get rid of fear will also be the fact that it itself can cause pain. The emotional and muscular tightness that fear calls for will cause pain.

Fear of first intimacy - intimophobia

VIDEO: Training: how to get rid of the fear of the first sex?

Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease - venereal phobia: symptoms, causes

• Personal experience of contact with a person infected with venereal diseases
• Understanding that sex can be unsafe
• False information taken from unreliable sources
• Misconceptions learned from friends

How it manifests itself:

• Any discomfort in the intimate area causes fear and panic in the vinerophobe. Even harmless inflammation seems to him the beginning of a venereal disease.
• A person who once suffered a venereal disease becomes distrustful. It always seems to him that the recovery is not yet complete.

Fear of getting venereal disease - venereal disease

• Vinerophobe is afraid of any sexual contacts and avoids them.
• In serious cases, the thought of sex causes panic. It is manifested by rapid breathing, increased heart rate, severe weakness. The same is repeated when the possibility of sex arises.

Ways to solve the problem:

• First of all, sincerely wish you get well. Find the pros in sex and the benefits it finds.

• Choose a gentle, patient doctor. He should calmly and patiently answer all your questions about your state of health.
• Pass all the necessary tests and make sure that you do not have sexually transmitted diseases.

Fear of beautiful women

• Self-doubt, inferiority complex
• The stereotype that beautiful women will always try to take over a man
• Fear of rejection
• Stereotype that beautiful women are stupid and selfish

As expressed:

• At the sight of a beautiful girl, a person develops shortness of breath, dizziness, and rapid heartbeat.

The cause of fear is self-doubt

• In the company of a beautiful girl, a man feels uncomfortable.
• A man communicates well with girls of ordinary appearance, but panics when communicating with beauties.
• In cases of severe phobia, the man may run away from the place where the beautiful woman is.

In the company of a beautiful girl, a man feels uncomfortable

Ways to solve the problem:

• If the guy is still a teenager, then this phobia will most likely pass with time.
• Contact a psychologist. Find out what event from the past caused this phobia.
• Take a self-esteem course.
• Learn self-love affirmations and repeat them to yourself during phobias.

Treatment of phobias with hypnosis

Briefly, hypnosis treats phobias in the following way:

• The hypnotist finds in the patient's subconscious the root cause of his panic and fear.
• Through attunement and suggestion, the client accepts the painful event. Stop clinging to him. Forms a new, positive model of behavior. Returns to reality a different, better person.

The hypnotist finds in the patient's subconscious the root cause of his panic

Video: Hypnosis: treatment of fears and phobias with hypnosis.

Video: Meditation & Hypnosis. Self-hypnosis. How to learn to control the subconscious?

Video: Hypnosis session. Fears, phobias, anxiety.

Video: How to overcome your fears? Oleg Gadetsky