Problems in sexual life when changing partners. What to do? Why does thrush appear when changing partners? How does frequent change of partners affect a man?

I got the book by chance - I was recently at a work meeting in the city of Istra and stopped by to see what the New Jerusalem Monastery is like. My wife and I went inside and while we were buying candles, granny competently sold us this book. I must say right away that my attitude towards the church is rather peculiar, and despite the fact that I was baptized (without my knowledge in childhood), I treat some aspects of the Orthodox religion with great suspicion and sometimes it’s hard to hide my smiles about some nuances.

So actually why such a loud headline and such a long introduction? I read up to a certain point in this book:

And what about those behind whose back the experience of several intimacy with different people? Apostle Paul says amazing words on this occasion: “Or do you not know that he who copulates with a harlot becomes one body with her? for it is said, the two shall be one flesh” (1 Cor. 6:16). These words are surprising in that a husband and wife become one body or flesh, between which there is both a spiritual and spiritual connection. It turns out that every prodigal cohabitation does not pass without a trace for a person. He wanted to unite in body, but he did not want to unite in soul and spirit, but received everything at once. It is easy to break the physical connection. Slept and ran away, then go, look where you want. But the spiritual connection remains. And then it will be incomprehensible to the wife: she wants to love her husband with all her heart, but she cannot. Her soul, it turns out, is already connected with other people, and these connections pull her, do not give her freedom. Her accidental lover becomes a drunkard somewhere far away, and his melancholy and despondency fall on her soul.

I wondered where I read about this and remembered Taisha Abelar - Magical transition:

She explained that biological patterns provide each species of living beings with a maximum chance for survival. And to this end, nature has created means that enable the masculine and feminine energies to interact in the most effective way. She said that although it is generally accepted in the human world that sexual intercourse is necessary primarily for the purpose of procreation, it has another, implicit function, which is that it maintains an uninterrupted flow of energy from women to men.
Clara said the words "to men" with such an accent that I was forced to ask:
- Why do you talk about humanity as a one-way street? Isn't sexual intercourse an equal exchange of energies between a man and a woman?
"No," she replied emphatically. - Men leave special energy fibers in the bodies of women. They are like luminous worms that live in the womb and absorb energy.
"That sounds kind of sinister," I said, chuckling at her.
But she continued to speak in all seriousness.
“These energy fibers have an even more sinister quality,” she said, ignoring my nervous chuckle, “which is that they provide a constant outflow of energy to the man who sowed them. These fibers, which a woman is infected with during intercourse, absorb and steal the energy of her body, which goes to the men who left them.

So thoughts appear in my head that in modern society women are specifically driven into the head that they should be accessible so that we male vampires have something to eat. Take the same prostitutes - most of them do not live up to 25 - they drink, starch, or simply kill somewhere.

I noticed on my own that it is much more pleasant to communicate with girls who are less promiscuous, because. they know that their value is not what they have breasts and vaginas, but what they have in their soul and head.

How can this situation be considered from the point of view of psychology? How can this be described not from the point of view of the soul and energy, but from the point of view of the science of psychology?

“The family broke up two years ago, I was left alone with my daughter. The ex-husband quickly found a girlfriend. But I can't.

Believe me, in these two years I have not had a single sexual contact. Probably don't believe it? I suffer all the time. After all, youth requires its own. I'm not a very sociable person by nature. I married off all my friends, but I myself am sitting here.

I won’t go out into the street and I won’t shout: I’m looking for a husband! Rather, I digest everything in myself.

Became unsociable. For two years, I noticed that the nerves were shaken, the soul began to become stale from "hungry loneliness." I learned to suppress my desire for intimacy. Now it seems to me that I have become afraid of men. Why the feeling of fear arose, I do not know. Because no one likes me? Yes, I'm afraid, I'll find a person, but can we live together? They say that changing partners leads to bad results.

Silly letter, right? So you don't want to sag."

Tatyana S., 24 years old, teacher, Marks

The female body gets used to a permanent partner, the vagina - to the penis. Therefore, if a change of partner has occurred, sometimes, especially at first, everything can go wrong. But then, after a period of adaptation, everything returns to normal.

For a long time of joint sexual life, many fairly stable reflexes are developed in both men and women. When changing a partner, one must remember this and not be upset if not everything works out right away. And the most important advice to the author of the letter: look not for sex, but

Causes of promiscuity (promiscuity)

Promiscuous sexual relations with continuous change of sexual partners
called promiscuity.
Sexual contacts with casual partners (or partners) in
adolescence and even childhood can be the result of improper
sexual education and the lack of a moral and ethical position, when
parents do not explain to the child the basics of the relationship between representatives
male and female, in dysfunctional families where the father or both
parents are alcoholics, or one of the parents is immoral
life, and the sexual intercourse of drunken parents with random partners occurs
in front of the children.
Mental and emotional immaturity inherent in this age,
does not allow for long-term attachment to one partner.
Insufficient sexual development does not allow adolescents to distinguish between
good and bad sexual partners, and even more so if partners
are the same immature peers (or peers).
Initially, the girl may lose her innocence out of curiosity,
the desire to appear "adult" or "modern", for fear of refusing
partner in intimacy, and sometimes as a result of rape, when her
forced to drink alcohol, and then in turn raped all the members
companies. Feeling fear and shame, the girl hides it from adults. Or
due to her mental immaturity, she is not fully aware of the consequences
happened, and subsequently "goes from hand to hand", and it can be used
everyone who wishes.
Promiscuous sex life can be in antisocial teenage
a group with a heterogeneous composition, where the guys spend all their free time in
drunkenness, card games, sexual orgies and commit petty
offenses.
Girls, members of this group most often have pronounced mental
deviations and mental illness, come from dysfunctional families.
They drink with the boys and cohabit with all members of the group.
Or such girls are outwardly very unattractive, do not use
attention of other peers, and numerous sexual contacts in
within their group serves as a kind of compensation for the lack of
attention and care of boys.
They may be attracted to the group by a leader with a criminal record, usually more
older than the rest of the group. At first he uses
girl to satisfy their own sexual needs, and then
"gives" her to teenagers, and he "recruits" another.
Subsequently, many of these girls become underage prostitutes.
on their own initiative or become dependent on pimps.
Some men for fear of possible impotence, especially if
they have sexual problems, seek to "compensate" for this by indulging in
endless amorous adventures, preferring young girls who
undemanding in sexual intercourse.
They brag about their many "victories" to their buddies,
showing them another "passion", and thus create an image for themselves
"sexual giant", although in fact their sexual capabilities are "lower
average".
Continuous change of sexual partners with multiple sexual
intercourse (up to ten or more) is observed with ephedron addiction in
any age due to strong sexual arousal that occurs in
drug intoxication.
Promiscuity is also characteristic of some representatives of creative
professions. In some cases, it is demonstrative, deliberate. it
characteristic of people with hysterical character traits who seek
attract attention in any way. Therefore, they not only do not hide,
but vice versa, in every possible way advertise their many love affairs,
which gives them the opportunity to constantly be in the spotlight of the press due to
numerous scandals connected with their name and the names of their lovers,
which increases their popularity, albeit a very scandalous one.
Some movie actors and movie actresses "collect" only the famous
lovers, and the longer the list of love affairs, even very
short-term, the more they acquire a reputation as a "sex bomb",
"sex symbol" or "hero-lover".
Their own sexual appetites can be quite different - from
increased sexual desire (nymphomania in women, satyriasis in
men) to very moderate.
In the latter case, the very fact of a love affair is much more important for them.
with a popular person, which, in their opinion, creates a certain
image of a temperamental lover (or mistress), since they managed to
achieve the favor of a famous person.
In fact, they may have many problems with sex, and
numerous connections serve to hide them and assert themselves.
Demonstrative change of sexual partners may be in some
people of homosexual orientation in order to hide their
true inclinations.
In some people, promiscuity is due to hypersexuality and
inability with the help of one sexual partner to satisfy their
increased sexual desires, for example, in nymphomaniac women.
A clinical example is described in the chapter on adultery.
And some people have promiscuous sex and a constant change
sexual partners is caused by an emotional defect, underdevelopment of higher
emotions and incapacity for stable, permanent attachments.

Clinical example.
Olga N. 27 years old. Was not born in Moscow, in an intelligent family, the eldest
from two daughters.
By nature, she was always frivolous, careless, she lived "like
moth", "fluttering through life". She graduated from the Institute of Culture in Moscow, worked
editor.
The beginning of sexual activity from the age of 17, since she came to Moscow.
She doesn’t remember her first partner, somehow she drank a lot at the student
party and fell asleep. Waking up, I found a young man next to me and
drove him away. She lived in a hostel, the morals there were quite free.
Lovers change all the time.
At the age of 20, she married one of them, a Muscovite, but life with her husband is not
developed, he was petty, greedy, jealous, and she was always attracted to noisy
and fun companies. There were 3 pregnancies, but she did not want to have children, and did
abortion. Two years later she left her husband and lived either with one lover or with
another.
Outwardly, she was always very attractive, with a doll face, plump
lips and long hair. She was promiscuous in sexual relations, could
come to a party with one lover, and leave the party with another. About her
everyone said that she did not value herself, as if she had "found herself in the garbage heap".
Men said about her that "you pour a glass for her, and she is yours." During
one party could have sexual contact with several men,
secluded with them either in the bathroom, or in the toilet, or in another room, or even on
landing. Tried and group sex. in sexual behavior
was very relaxed, and despite her inconstancy, men greatly appreciated
her as a sexually experienced lover.
But in her words, she herself treated sex "as a sport." Orgasm
rarely experienced, as she was undemanding, and if another lover
did not conduct the necessary stimulation, then did not insist.
One of the wives of her many lovers splashed her in the face out of revenge.
some kind of aerosol, the liquid got into the eyes, caused chemical burns of the skin
person, and by "Ambulance" was delivered to the Research Institute. Sklifosovsky, where am I
and talked with her. She asked for a consultation herself in connection with
alcohol abuse.
Mentally immature, infantile, incapable of feeling for anyone
long-term attachment. Moral and ethical position is not formed.
The concept of shame, a sense of gratitude is absent. Higher emotions absolutely
undeveloped. He considers love, romantic relationships "fiction for girls."
Feels no regret or embarrassment even when getting into bed
with the husband of a friend who gave her temporary shelter, says: "What about
this one?". Although she herself did not feel any attraction to her friend's husband -
"He wanted to, but I didn't care." The same applies to others
to their sexual partners. Agrees to intimacy with a man and sober
state, and intoxicated. May agree even after the first minutes
acquaintance. Have had sexual intercourse more than once in the presence of other people,
if it did not bother the partner. She herself did not feel uncomfortable.
He talks about everything with cynical details.
There are no real plans for the future. The only concern is how it will reflect
burns on her appearance. No plans for future sex life
builds "how it goes". Assumes that if she stops drinking,
maybe her life will be sorted out somehow, but maybe not. No action on my own
is not going to do.

The cause of promiscuity may be a personal tragedy
in a person's life, for example, when a partner is cheating on him (to a woman -
partner), whom he loved very much and regards betrayal as a betrayal.
In this case, with the help of a frequent change of sexual partners, a person
as if trying to annoy the cheater, to demonstrate that he is without
he lives beautifully, and does not tear his hair out of grief, so that he who has changed
felt regret because of the gap or humiliation that he quickly found
replacement, and not one.
The reason for the constant change of partners after disappointment in personal life
and a breakup with a loved one, which led to mental trauma, maybe
and fear of repeating it.
A person does not want to experience the pain of loss again, so he changes his mistresses
(or lovers) "like gloves", afraid to get attached to someone as a result
long-term relationship and subsequently experience another disappointment.
He regards sexual partners as a means for pleasure and
mercilessly disposes of them as soon as he feels that there may be
continuation of the relationship. Disappointment in the past makes him (or her)
the belief that all women (or men) are prone to infidelity, and that
not to experience feelings of humiliation again, abandons his partners first.
The reason for the frequent change of partners may be the constant search for some
"ideal" that the seeker assumes in each new partner, and
getting to know each other better, he is convinced that he (or she) is far from what he is looking for
ideal, and again looking for perfection. And since perfect people like
known, no, then these searches can continue indefinitely.
Frequent change of sexual partners may be associated with the complex
guilt. For example, if a girl (or boy) in the past had any
sexual contact (such as rape) that causes them
consider themselves defiled and unworthy to belong to a good person
or get married, they thus "punish" themselves for their "sin".
This can happen if a girl lost her virginity early, and this
contradicts her upbringing and her own ideas of morality.
Some overly conscientious and suspicious young men have such a complex
guilt can form after sex with a prostitute or a woman
significantly older than himself, or in an intoxicated state.
The consequence of the guilt complex can be either "monastic asceticism" with
complete renunciation of sexual life, or the opposite - disorderly
sex life as punishment.
The latter is more characteristic of people prone to masochism, therefore, in
this self-punishment, the feeling of being "vicious", "dirty depraved",
humiliation they get the necessary sexual satisfaction.

It is possible that you are panicking for nothing. There are a variety of factors in which the discharge from the female genital organs changes in character.

Such factors include the onset of sexual activity and the change of sexual partner, the sexual intercourse itself, the use of hormonal contraceptives, the change of means for intimate hygiene or the composition of underwear, pregnancy, the postpartum period. Let us consider the influence of these factors on the character of discharges in detail.

The onset of sexual activity and the change of sexual partner lead to the fact that a new, alien, unfamiliar, although absolutely normal, non-pathogenic microflora enters the woman's genital tract. As a result, within a certain period of time (purely individual for each woman), the reproductive system and the whole body of a woman adapt to the “new residents”. During this period, an increase in the amount of discharge, a change in color and consistency is characteristic. The main thing is that there are no unpleasant sensations (discomfort, itching, burning).

Sexual intercourse itself also contributes to the appearance of specific vaginal discharge. Within a few hours after unprotected intercourse (without using a condom), vaginal discharge is in the form of transparent clots, with a white or yellowish tint. After 6-8 hours after intercourse, the nature of the discharge changes: they become liquid, white, and abundant. If sexual intercourse was protected by a condom or the method of interrupted intercourse was used, then after it the secretion of a creamy, white, meager secretion, consisting of "worked out" vaginal lubricant, is characteristic.

Taking hormonal contraceptives contributes to a change in the hormonal profile, which plays a fundamental role in the formation of vaginal discharge. The inhibition of ovulation, on which the action of almost all hormonal contraceptives is based, leads to a decrease in the amount of secretions (during the period of taking the pills). After the abolition of the contraceptive, the nature of the discharge from the vagina is restored. Breastfeeding has a similar effect on the nature of the discharge. At the end of the postpartum period, the amount of vaginal discharge is very small (subject to feeding the baby “on demand” and the absence of menstruation).

Maybe your discharge is just related to the fact that you have only recently begun to live a sexual life. If this is true, wait a while, try to use a condom during sexual intercourse and watch the discharge. If the problem still remains, then it will be necessary to undergo a series of examinations. Since it is almost impossible to accurately establish a reliable diagnosis simply by the nature of the discharge, since in most cases there is a combination of two or more pathological processes, and often doctors are faced with atypical manifestations of a particular disease. Therefore, according to the appearance of the discharge, one can only assume the development of a certain pathological process, and data from clinical, laboratory and instrumental examinations must prove its presence.

Be healthy!

Additionally

Thrush is a disease of a fungal nature that can occur in any person at absolutely any age. The disease has its own causes of development, as well as provoking factors. Treatment includes a whole range of activities that affects different areas of life, including sexual. Can you have sex with thrush?

A qualified specialist with the help of complex diagnostics can find out the true causes of the disease. Changes in hormonal levels, endocrine disorders, weakened immunity, uncontrolled use of antibiotics, frequent hypothermia - all this and much more can serve as a trigger for the development of candidiasis.

Thrush can lead to serious consequences and even infertility, which is why self-diagnosis is unacceptable. An experienced specialist, thanks to the collection of anamnesis, will be able to figure out what could lead to a fungal infection and then give recommendations that help to quickly get rid of the disease.

Is it possible to have full sex with thrush?

Many women who have encountered thrush are concerned about the question of whether it is possible to have sex during the treatment period. This question cannot be answered unequivocally, much depends on the individual characteristics of the person, as well as the form in which the disease proceeds.

It is also worth noting that a fungal infection can be transmitted through sexual contact, which is why experts say that both should undergo treatment.

Why is it better to give up sex?

Let's talk about the reasons why intimacy should be abandoned during thrush. The first point is the high risk of infection of the sexual partner. Even oral sex can lead to the transmission of a fungal infection.

The second important reason is the likelihood of an additional infection. What are these risks? The fact is that during sexual intercourse, microtraumas can occur, which do not cause any pathological processes on a healthy mucous membrane. But the situation is completely different if the mucosa is already inflamed, in which case additional infection can easily occur.

As you know, the composition of the microflora includes not only beneficial microorganisms, but also conditionally pathogenic microflora. This means that some microorganisms are natural inhabitants of our body, but for a number of specific reasons, they can begin to become more active, which will eventually lead to the appearance of a pathological process. So sex with thrush can provoke the connection of "sleeping" pathogenic microflora.

According to statistics, simultaneously with fixed untreated candidiasis, the patient is found to have chlamydia, ureaplasmic and mycoplasmic infections. Therefore, a logical question arises as to why exacerbate the pathological process, if it can simply be eliminated in a short period of time.

Additional reasons

Abstinence from sex during the treatment period is also indicated for the following reasons:

• inflamed and dry mucous membrane of the genital organs is very vulnerable and sexual intercourse will provoke itching, burning, pain;
• local contraceptives and moisturizers, which can be used during intimacy, affect the therapeutic effect of drugs for thrush, reducing their effectiveness. As a result, this will affect the duration of the treatment process;
• sexual intercourse can contribute to the penetration of the infectious process into the urethra, leading to the development of serious complications;
• a woman may experience psychological discomfort.

In some cases, an acute process can flow into a sluggish course, which will remind of itself in the form of exacerbations. By the way, such relapses can occur after intercourse. That is why it is important to take the treatment of candidiasis seriously.

During illness, many women have no sexual desire due to discomfort, but the sexual partner may insist on sex. How to be in this case? Experts recommend using condoms as barrier methods of contraception.

The use of neutral moisturizers that soothe irritated mucous membranes is also shown. If a woman experiences pain during intimacy, then it is better, of course, to refuse sexual contact, because the main thing is health!

Thrush while taking birth control

One of the most common causes of thrush is hormonal changes. The use of oral contraceptives affects the hormonal balance of a woman. Experts say that the connection between birth control pills and the appearance of thrush really exists, especially in cases where the drugs contain high doses of estrogen and progesterone.

Female hormones affect the increase in the saturation of the tissues of the vagina with glycogen, a substance that is a "delicacy" for a fungal infection. In addition, this negatively affects immune responses, and it is the immune system that is responsible for controlling opportunistic microflora.

Changes in the hormonal background can lead to changes in the acidity of the internal environment of the vagina. Normally, the vagina is acidic and yeast-like fungi simply cannot actively multiply in it. If female hormones increase, then alkalization occurs, and the alkaline environment is favorable for the activation of a fungal infection.

Thrush when changing partners in women

Change of sexual partner is one of the provoking causes of candidiasis. This is due to the fact that there are changes in the microflora of the vagina. It is the violation of the natural balance that is the catalyst for the appearance of candidiasis.

In a healthy state, the microflora includes beneficial bacteria that prevent the conditionally pathogenic microflora from multiplying; if the composition of the natural environment changes, then the number of beneficial microorganisms is not enough to control the fungal environment.

So, thrush can appear for a number of reasons, changing a sexual partner and taking contraceptives are far from all etiological factors. Sexual intercourse with thrush is a personal matter for each person, but experts recommend excluding sex. Take your health seriously and follow all medical recommendations if you want to completely get rid of candidiasis and then you will not worry about whether sex is permissible with thrush. Be healthy!