What is the “right” life.

If a person thinks about how to start leading a correct lifestyle, it means that something does not suit him in the current state of affairs. To understand whether changes are needed, it is enough to ask yourself the question - does my lifestyle make me happy, helps me develop? If the answer is “no”, but it is time for a change, and this will help simple recommendations

What is a lifestyle?

A lifestyle is a set of habits, actions that are implemented in a certain order or on a schedule. It is expressed in the features of behavior, thinking, decision-making. It determines the daily routine, cultural and social preferences. This is a plan that is cyclically repeated over time.

What is the right way of life?

Having figured out what a lifestyle is, you can understand whether it is right or not. Why can certain people be told that they live wrong? Most often, this means that they violate generally accepted norms - social, moral, legislative.

If you think more broadly, then the right way of life is aimed at personal, spiritual, social growth. But the wrong one leads to degradation. Much depends on national and cultural characteristics. For example, in Asian countries, the cult of the family is more developed, while in European countries, up to a certain age, career comes first. Tradition and upbringing greatly influence behavior and separation.

But "correct" does not mean standardized and not necessarily generally accepted. Often under this definition falls what makes a person happy, helps him achieve goals, gives him motivation.

The way of life of a person, what is it like?

Healthy

Peculiarities:

• Absence of bad habits, such as smoking or drinking alcohol.
• Regular exercise.
• Proper nutrition.

There are a lot of pluses here. By adhering to this behavior, you can improve your health, always look young, and achieve longevity. Motivation is important, the ability not to succumb to temptations. It is also necessary to maintain a balance between work and leisure.

Secular

Peculiarities:

• Active attendance at social events, their subject matter depends solely on interests.
• Putting your life on display, for example, in social networks.
• Commitment to branded clothing, scrupulousness in matters of style, choosing friends, tracking trends.

Leading a secular lifestyle does not always mean belonging to the elite sections of society. In a more simplified version, this means being fashionable, "hanging out", changing along with the trends in society. For people with such vital activity, there are numerous new acquaintances, it is easier for them to make connections, including business ones.

Among the shortcomings can be called the desire to find a price for everything or hang labels. But also this style helps to make friends, to be open, to have fun.

Stag

Peculiarities:

• Reluctance to get married or enter into a long-term relationship.
• Mobility.
• The high value of the boundaries of personal space.

Some people build freedom into a cult, others simply run away from relationships because of complexes or fears. But if the word “bachelor” is attributed precisely to a way of life, then it is not limited solely to freedom from relationships. We are talking about the freedom of decision-making in general, when a person operates only with his opinion, life experience.

Family

Peculiarities:

• Caring for family members, no matter who they are - brothers, sisters, parents, children, spouses.
• The desire to be in a group of people, to seek their support, to feel unity.
• The ability to compromise, take into account the opinions of different people.

The family way of life suggests that it is marriage, the creation of a unit of society, that is the main goal. This determines leisure, which is more often spent in places where all family members will like it. Even in earnings, the motivation is to build a foundation for the future well-being of the family.

How to change lifestyle?

The main and happiness - live the way you want. On the basis of this postulate, a way of life should be built.

1. Set green goals. You need to set goals for yourself that do not intentionally harm you or other people. For example, a company has opened a new position for which 10 employees apply. It is clear that there will be one winner, he will receive a new office, an increase in salary, but it is better to seek a position in an honest way, showing professionalism, and not slandering or substituting colleagues, making deals with your own conscience.
2. Change your image without changing your life. Just because a person decides to become a vegetarian doesn't mean they should stop hanging out with their meat-eating friends or give up family dinners with baked chicken. You just need to notify loved ones that your diet has changed, there will be a compromise.
3. Be flexible. Any lifestyle can be adjusted in the process. If at some point a bachelor wants to start a family, he can do it. Exactly like a family man may want a little personal freedom, for this it is not necessary to get divorced.
4. Act now. Some decisions require immediate execution. If a person is going to lose weight, he should immediately put aside the cake and meatballs, and not convince himself that it is better to start the diet on Monday. If some changes have been brewing for a long time, their time has come. And it has arrived right now!
5. Find "window". The way of human life covers all its spheres. None of them should suffer because of the change. For example, if a person decides to go to the gym, he cannot do this instead of dating his beloved (beloved) or instead of a morning meeting at work. You need to think about where there is a “window” in the schedule or how to make it painless for other areas.

If a person decides to change his lifestyle, this must be done in such a way that the changes are tangible, but do not cause discomfort. For example, a recluse who suddenly wants to start living a secular life can quickly become disillusioned with her due to a lack of experience in communicating with a large flow of people.

A person who decides to lead an active lifestyle should not immediately climb Everest, it is better to start with a trip to the nearest forest or rock climbing. You also need to remember that any change begins with an internal decision.

"You are so right!" Under this statement, “wrong” usually means: boring, not interesting, pedantic, nerd ... But at the same time: successful, problem-free, purposeful, strong-willed ...

Even more curious: Correct - life is easier. It's like with the commandments in the holy books, many people think that their fulfillment is to get into "Paradise". But modern psychologists and sociologists already know that they are the basis, often a necessity, for a normal life already “Here”.

2. Compose(tasks, purchases, expenses…). Depending on the purpose, the lists can be: as a work plan for the day, week, month ..., and for analysis: solvency, caloric content of food ..

3. Pragmatic approach in everything. This is a practical use (only 20 percent of the effort brings the desired result), in fact, this is what the lists above are created for.

4. "Peace of mind", humility, modesty. The right person enjoy their rules of life. Because any rule needs a time and a place - you need to be able to wait. Which leads to the development of a good quality in him: patience.

5. Compassion. Giving without asking for anything in return.

(Yesterday, I pestered the social worker “Submit”, he was spinning in the lobby of the Central Department Store in the right suit with a tie. Me: Who are you, where is your office, and are you a volunteer or are you paid a salary ... Two minutes later - he was blown away by the wind The case is funny - but revealing, neither I nor he has real compassion. He is a deceiver - self-interested, I am suspicious, arrogant).

6. Have your own special hobby, hobby. Articles to help:,. It is easier to justify this rule as follows: a person has emotional needs. Hobbies are the best satisfaction in this.

7. Be in good physical shape. Be - it may not work. But here it strives for the ideal weight, the form is inherent in our “ideal” little man.

8. Does physical exercise. Consequence from the above point. Someone chooses yoga and oriental Wushu, and someone chooses fitness or swimming, running ...

9. Eat right, eat healthy food. Usually, for “ordinary” people: for some period they tried, boasted to their friends, put themselves a plus sign. But then: gluttony, fatty foods, chips, beer...

(By the way, 10 years ago statistics, I think it is relevant to this day - for the inhabitants of Germany. They are the most informed about the benefits and harms of nutrition, but at the same time, half are overweight. Almost everyone: a "bouquet of misfortunes" associated with improper food eating. Perhaps this should also be attributed to, but not executable advice).

10. Reflect, think, contemplate. Meditation (from Latin meditatio - reflection) is useful not only in itself, in order to be prudent and conscious in one's actions. But it is also a way of relaxation, a break from the routine.

11. Be clean, clean. Order is everywhere and in everything, both in appearance and in relation to what surrounds the bearer of this decent appearance. I often remind myself of one wise observation: what an organization of things around a person, the same “organization” is inside a person. Happy even their house, yard look beautiful.

12. Be positive, positive. It doesn't mean never say "No" and wears around with an insane smile that is out of our mentality. This means - to focus not on the problem, misfortune, but on opportunities, ways to solve "life" problems.

There is one slippery topic, which I have already indirectly touched upon in various articles, avoiding voicing it directly. Today, I decided to approach her carefully. I will start, as always, a little from afar. Yes, if anyone does not understand, I remind you that I do not write scriptures about the truth in this blog, but express my personal opinion.

Once in childhood, gaining relative consciousness, we find ourselves in this space without coordinates in the chaos of what is happening. And we notice nearby towering figures of adults. From them we get information about how to live. We take this information on faith, without understanding, because we still do not know how to understand at that early age. The world seems incomprehensibly mysterious, almost magical, so you just have to believe in its laws. All its rules are perceived by default, like sacred rituals of communion with the truth, from which it is “impossible” to deviate. Why “it’s impossible” we never fully know, but we learn to feel ashamed, guilty, bad and not deserving of the love of god-like, “omnipotent” adults for violating this global ban (on objectionable behavior). We learn to believe what is right, good, and what is false and bad. This is how the deep motives of emotions are formed - from a blind, convinced knowledge of what life should be like.

The psyche is multilayered. The superficial layers are the very ones where we are now beginning to “understand everything” with our “adult” mind, but sometimes we can’t do anything. Because in the depths of the soul, childish beliefs have already been sown, which have grown to today's abode of the mind in the form of vague feelings. They have long been able to go against the realities, and at the same time, due to their rootedness, they influence the mind and demand their own, much sharper and more persistent than actual, adult views.

As a result, reason and logic, with all their productivity, sometimes helplessly capitulate when children's emotions absorb. No matter how reasonable a person approaches planning his “correct” life, if these plans run counter to his emotions and feelings, it will be presumptuous naivety to count on their fulfillment.

This is how internal conflicts happen, where the deep within us competes with the superficial. .

These spontaneous automatic stimuli from the past give rise in the present to that same neurotic behavior that takes into account not the real situation, but subjective, sometimes frankly childish demands on life.

This is where all the “shoulds” and “shoulds” come from. It remains for the mind to get out, attributing abstract morality to its own irrational claims - they say, “it’s not me who is whimsical, but, in general, it’s “needed” and “correct”.

Preoccupation

Preoccupation with emotions makes a person unstable and chaotic. The person himself does not know what he wants, makes impulsive decisions that he is unable to follow. His feelings live their own lives, and seem to walk in parallel corridors, meeting, perhaps, for an internal conflict.

That is, even when faced with a frank inconsistency in their own views, an emotional person is unable to combine their conflicting feelings in order to exhaust the internal conflict. As a result, a person can love and please today, hate tomorrow - and so on in a circle in endless cycles.

Relatively speaking, when there are many sagging neuroses in the psyche, they absorb the territory of consciousness. At the same time, the channel of perception narrows, and any intense emotions completely cover it, loading all thoughts with their energy. As a result, everything that a person worries about becomes the final objective reality for him - even the most outright chimeras are taken at face value. What movie the mind shows, such a life is perceived without any doubt.

The more emotions capture, the weaker the contact with reality. At the same time, the mind rushes about like a weather vane in the wind, jumping from one personal plot to another - happy in the morning, terrified in the evening, calmed down again at night. Experiences paint conflicting roles in personal history: hero and loser, victorious and defeated, loved and despicable. Identification with such roles can be all-encompassing, like an indestructible holy truth - the same strong faith coming from childhood.

Expanded Consciousness

When the consciousness remains relatively expanded and emotions do not absorb, then the person is able to notice that the current experiences are not about life, but about themselves and do not express reality, but their own energy. This factor gives rise to the possibility of combining and reconciling incompatible desires. They seem to add up to a whole picture, where there is no ground for conflicting motives.

To the extent of such reconciliation with oneself, mental centering comes - with it, the person understands what he really wants, and is able to steadily follow his decisions without any friction.

That is, when there are no internal mental conflicts, then there are no internal contradictions, and no special willpower is required in order to live a productive, healthy life, if this is what you really want.

Conscious, considered decisions come from a meaningful, real “I want.” Here, responsibility is taken on, rather than being shifted to ideals about how "should" be.

The ability to live and do exactly as you want is a feature of a healthy integrated personality, which is no longer torn apart by internal conflicts. At the same time, a person clearly from the depths of his soul realizes that, to be good, correct, successful, convenient, he is not obliged, in general, to do anything. His feelings are not a fake grimace for the sake of society, but a real sincere expression of his nature.

In the end, there is nothing sacred in the virtue that is observed solely out of fear of punishment, or the selfish hope of receiving a reward. In this vein, the “righteous man” himself is a mercantile liar.

Only a consciously balanced, responsible attitude to what is happening, without the onslaught of artificial mental debts, leads out of neurosis. Otherwise, all love and kindness become just as artificial and hysterical, squeezed into the vise of duties.

Very simplistic, the neurotic "knows" what "should" be. A healthy person recognizes that he does not know any reliable coordinates of the right path, but he realizes what he wants in this kaleidoscope of life.

"Sacrilege"

No matter how good and holy ideals encourage you to be, no matter how beautiful and “correct” the path is drawn, spiritual well-being goes along the route of ultimate consciousness and honesty with yourself. All ideals and beliefs, taken on blind faith, are here step by step, explored and worked out. In a sense, this is such an overthrow of all the imposed shrines.

I understand how ambiguous such a statement sounds, as if they are suggesting some kind of sacrilege. As a reservation, I want to say that both religious and public morality are not some kind of evil at all. In order to maintain order in society, the imposed laws of life remain an urgent necessity for the control of primitive habits until the individual grows up to the stage where he feels the need for a conscious life. And not everyone needs it.

And a person who is not ready for the truth can and should practice unconditional faith in the “correct” life. And even this text in this case will naturally cause an internal emotional protest.

Then, "betraying" one's own ideals before the intended meaning does not make sense. Hasty emotional looseness leads to emotional coldness and devastation. It is expedient to analyze not everything in a row, but those actual personal "shrines" that today are tearing the inside to pieces.

Nevertheless, ideals and morality in society are frankly overestimated. Almost everyone moralizes, but it is unlikely that you will be able to find institutions where they treat the consequences of this plastic surgery of the soul in a medical directory.

This, however, does not mean that all religious and social paths are wrong. Life does not fit into these categories. There is just a way - everything that happened, is happening and will happen. And “right” and “wrong” are pure, relative conventions.

Let's say for cooking dinner, it will be correct to use products suitable for consumption. But in everything that concerns life in general, and even the specific choice of the next turn on the path, all the rules are sheer convention.

"Right" life

The only criterion for a conditionally “correct” life that I have personally developed for myself is decisions, the consequences of which you do not regret. And there is no need to regret anything - it is pointless.

No one can really force anything on us. Even when we rely on other people's knowledge and ready-made paths, obey someone's will - this is still our personal choice in the face of the unknown. And the responsibility for it should be assigned solely to yourself.

In order to get out of the captivity of neuroses, there is no other way out than to find that you are shackling yourself with all the boundaries of “should” and “should” only yourself. And it is necessary to discover this not just by logical understanding, but by a deep study of one's experiences.

Behind every emotionally charged conviction of who you are and what you are worth is a blind belief. In order to reveal an emotion with all its hidden motives, it is necessary to bite into it - to explore it thoroughly to the point of exhaustion. Otherwise, these subcutaneous automatisms will become further fate - the boundaries along which the path will continue.

We never truly know what life is and how to live “right.” There are no real coordinates of the correct path. There is only this, already happening, uncouth, sometimes ordered, sometimes wild reality. Whatever dreams position hopes, all of them, one way or another, devastatingly lose to what already exists - this silent inevitability called "life".

© Igor Satorin

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This completes the series of articles about. However, the topic is extensive, one way or another I will return to it.

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It is possible to burn through life, trying to get all conceivable pleasures for the time being, but the question of how to live life correctly still has to be answered.

How to lead the right way of life?

To deal with this issue, it is necessary to define what we mean by the concept of "the right way of life." It must be said right away that there is no universal recipe here, each of us is an individual, therefore everyone has their own path.

For some, the right life consists in following the rules of a healthy lifestyle. And in some ways they are right - you can get joy from life only if you have a healthy body, and it is in our power to preserve it. So what do you need to do to maintain a healthy lifestyle?

1. The first rule is proper nutrition, without fast food, chips, carbonated and alcoholic drinks, a lot of fried and fatty foods. Of course, ideally, you should completely give up “harmful” food, but this is quite difficult, so you can occasionally treat yourself to your favorite yummy.
2. The next item will be to maintain a high level of activity. Do not neglect playing sports, hiking, replace sitting near the TV or computer with outdoor activities.
3. Bad habits are also incompatible with a healthy lifestyle.
4. It is necessary to adhere to the correct daily routine - 8 hours of sleep, while you need to learn how to wake up without an alarm clock - this will mean that you have slept enough.
5. Excess weight is incompatible with a healthy lifestyle, so you need to get rid of it.
6. A healthy lifestyle does not mean asceticism, it is necessary to love yourself and take care of yourself.
7. It is best if you take up the implementation of your idea not alone, but in a company.

The simple right life

But a healthy lifestyle does not give everyone answers to the question of how to live. Some put a more philosophical meaning in the concept of a simple right life. It is not enough for such people to have a toned, slender body and a well-paid job, it is more important for them to find the right path in life. In this case, people begin to be interested in various philosophical and religious teachings, are fond of esotericism, and attend trainings. All this can really help to gain the knowledge that is so lacking for a full life. It is only important not to become a fanatic of the doctrine, to be able to take out only rational grains from there. For example, almost all religions of the world talk about the need to show kindness and respect for one’s neighbor, but some “gurus” say that this should be done only to people of “their” faith, everyone else can be treated not so friendly. Which of these is correct, you understand for yourself.

That is, it is required not to look for a plan written by someone and follow it point by point, but to develop your own correct attitude towards life.

How to make a life plan?

But mysticism and vague philosophical theories do not give everyone the opportunity to determine the right goals in life. Such pragmatists definitely need to build their lives, they want to know how to organize it correctly, they need a life plan drawn up for several years in advance, which they will need to follow. There is nothing wrong with planning, unless the fulfillment of the plan becomes your most important goal in life. Because by focusing on paper letters and numbers, you run the risk of missing out on something really important, interesting offers and profitable situations. But back to the plan of life, how to draw it up?

After drawing up such a plan, set yourself intermediate goals - for six months, a year, five years. List goals for each area. After drawing up a plan, it should be beautifully designed to put (hang) in a prominent place and cross out goals as they are achieved.