How to become a happy and independent person. How to be happy every day

If you ask people: “What do you want?”, The answers will be very different. "Lose weight, become rich, love, a dog, a good job, success ...". If at this moment you ask the question: “Why do you need this?”, Then the answer will be one. "To become happy!"

If you ask people: “What do you want?”, The answers will be very different.

"Lose weight, become rich, love, a dog, a good job, success ...". If at this moment you ask the question: “Why do you need this?”, Then the answer will be one. "To become happy!"

Happiness is the meaning, purpose and main direction of human life.

It is disguised as various understandable, material and familiar things.- money, career, children, love, health - but these are just the constituent elements of the global emotional, physical and moral comfort that everyone strives for.

You should not perceive "happiness" as a final destination, which has the opportunity to get once and for all. This is a feeling, state or experience that accompanies a person every day, bringing joy, giving self-confidence and making life meaningful.

“Generally speaking, one should start by identifying the factors that lead to happiness and the factors that lead to suffering. After that, you must gradually eliminate from your life those factors that lead to suffering, and strengthen those that lead to happiness. This is the essence of my idea.”

“The art of being happy. Guide for Life" Dalai Lama XIV

So, where should one start to enter happiness?

1. Sleep and nutrition

The smallest and most important thing to provide. There will always be plenty of other “meaningful” things for which you will sacrifice sleep or proper nutrition.

This is the foundation for the overall health of the body, for the production of hormones, for the functioning of the brain and the restoration of resources.

It is impossible to watch TV shows all night during the week, work late, not follow the regime and feel good in the morning.

Think of sleep and food as a “mandatory hygiene procedure” that will become a good habit.

2. Physical activity and sex life

To enjoy life, a person must feel good physically. Pay maximum attention to physical activity.

This does not mean that you have to spend a day in the gym. It is enough to start with everyday walks and a properly selected set of exercises that you will be pleased to perform.

For starters, include at least an hour of walking in your daily routine. Walking has proven to be an effective treatment for depression and anxiety.

Sexual needs are natural for a healthy body. Their satisfaction leads to a decrease in aggression and discontent, the emergence of a sense of joy, well-being and a positive perception of the world.

3. Financial solvency

In the modern world, money gives a sense of confidence in the future, security, control over the situation. For many, this factor becomes a "stumbling block", a problem that cannot be resolved and overcome.

H It is worth starting with a rational distribution of available funds. Learn the tools to help you plan your finances the right way. These can be mobile apps, spreadsheets, or just lists.

Carefully keep track of income and expenses, follow your goals, analyze where and how you spend, and after a certain period of time you will develop financial discipline. And she, in turn, will give a sense of control and confidence necessary for a comfortable life.

4. Social connections

A person feels good when he receives support, approval, understanding, acceptance and love from others. In a long-term experiment conducted by Harvard University, it was found that people who have good, warm, trusting relationships with others live longer, healthier and happier lives.

However, it is the quality, not the quantity, that matters. The presence of a close person, a true friend, a reliable partner will definitely make you happier than a dozen superficial acquaintances.

5. Motivation and awareness

Be aware, be aware of what, when, why and why you are doing. There are no things that are unambiguously bad or good, right or wrong. There is a motive and your actions, it is important to understand where they will lead you.

If you have an uninteresting, unloved job, ask the question: “Why am I holding on to it?”. If you are surrounded by evil or stupid people - ask: "Why am I with them?". If you are bored or sad - find out: "What do I want?".

Track your real desires, look for ways to satisfy them, harmonize needs and actions.

6. Self-development

Focus on the things that make you better, smarter, harder, happier. Do not aim at all areas of life at once - this is an impossible plan, and failures will have a bad effect on the motivation to continue.

Start with small but affordable actions– Learn something new at work, read books you never had time for, take a course, take up photography or clay modeling, go to the gym or go skydiving.

The goal is to reveal your potential as fully and comprehensively as possible, to become who you can be at the peak of your personal abilities, not to remain within the given stereotypes and limits, but to correspond to your inner nature.

Becoming happy is a conscious decision, for the implementation of which it is necessary to make efforts at the initial stage. The good news is that the further process will become self-regulating and will certainly lead to the desired goal.

Elena Grositskaya

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness - together we change the world! © econet

Hello, friends! Sasha is on the air ... Today I want to raise a question that millions of people ask themselves - how to become a happy person: psychology will help you, my dears)

In general, this is one of a series of those questions to which there is no unambiguous answer. Everyone strives to get into this wonderful world of happiness, but no one knows exactly what kind of world it is, where to look for it and what they are looking for in general.

What does it mean to “become a happy person”, and what is not happiness at all?

"Are you happy?" Have you ever heard this question? Or maybe they themselves asked it - "Am I happy?". And how many people can answer this question with certainty? I think no.

Let's, before talking about how it is, where to look and all that, let's talk about what is mistakenly considered happiness and blindly chasing the "ghost".

Often, the search for the best resembles some kind of game of a blind kitten, which rushes back and forth in search of its fish, but finds either slippers or a dog bone, which obviously does not please the hungry cat.

And now, frustrated, he begins his journey again, rushing from corner to corner. But everything is useless, because he does not even know what this very fish looks like, he does not know what he is looking for and therefore he can spend his whole life, but still not find anything.

And more importantly, it is not a fact that this fish is happiness. Maybe he needs milk, but he does not understand this.

Many people think:

• I'll buy myself a new cool smartphone
• I will go to another country
• Get a new job
• Change wife (husband)
• I'll make a lot of money... and I'll be happy!

But all this is only a temporary satisfaction of desires. Tired of one thing, there will be a need for something else and again a blind search.

So what is happiness and where to find it?

Happiness is not something external. This is not buying anything and not changing the place of residence or partner. It is within us. This is harmony with oneself, confidence, the ability to rejoice and look at the world positively.

But it’s not enough just to understand that it lives in us, like “ah, I understand and now I’ll be all so joyful!”. No, if until today you have been confusing the concepts of happiness and temporary satisfaction, then you have a lot of work to do!

If you don’t experience a drop of happiness where you are now, among the blessings that you have, everywhere you see only the bad, you blame all your failures on other people and circumstances, then you won’t see happiness anywhere and never!

Sounds like a sentence, right? But not everything is so scary, there is a way out - the main thing here is to admit to yourself that you need to change yourself first of all, and not the external attributes of life.

If you do not admit this to yourself, then you will rush about all your life in search of some kind of illusory happiness, until you are covered with sad wrinkles on an eternally dissatisfied face.

All of the above does not mean at all that a happy person does not have desires and needs for some external benefits. He also wants to have a strong family, a good job and other joys of life.

The only difference is that he does not depend on his desires. The absence of something does not make him unhappy and embittered at the whole world. He also seeks to improve his outer life, but without fanaticism.

He calmly goes to his goal, without destroying himself from the inside. He doesn't panic if he doesn't have a slender wife like his neighbor or that he still doesn't have a three-story cottage and a private jet.

I will try to give you some tips, which for me personally are a kind of cheat sheet, from the moment I “got lost and lost” ... It helps me and I believe that these tips will also be useful to you.

1) Stop complaining about life

There are people who are just waiting for the moment to sit in someone's ear and cry about their unfortunate fate. Are you sure that someone is interested?

Well, yes, yes, psychologists say “speak out, it will become easier” and somewhere it’s true, he burst into tears and seemed to feel a little relieved from the soul, but damn it doesn’t mean that you need to get everyone with your problems! People have enough!

And in general, I think this way ... it's one thing to speak out once to a girlfriend (friend) or a psychologist, and another thing to piss everyone off every day ... and ... if you endlessly hammer someone's brains with your life minuses, then you generally unable to deal with them.

And this is not a fig not a buzzing!! And if so, then something needs to be done about it.

Try to analyze in your head everything that bothers you so much. Think about it, is it so scary and serious? Does this or that situation have a solution? Can you influence the improvement of this negative moment?

If you understand that you can fix the situation, then go ahead! Correct, change, act in the end, and do not cry with pity for yourself!

If you understand that you can’t change a damn thing, that nothing depends on you at all, then think - is it worth worrying at all then? Accept everything as it is and try to switch to something else. Why pick a stone fence with a toothpick (?)

To understand the complexity or simplicity of negativity, I would advise you to be alone with yourself. Cut off everything - phone, TV, Internet and even put your favorite book aside (if you have one).

Put everything away and think about what's bothering you. Think it over and make the only right decision for yourself - “I can fix it or I can’t,” and further on in the text above.

2) Take charge of yourself and your life

Finally understand that you are responsible for your own life! No one is to blame for the fact that you did not go the way you would like.

No, well, of course, there are such tyrant parents and even wives who are trying to impose on you the lifestyle that they consider right. But learn in the end to resist!

This is your life and only you can decide how you live it! And to say that someone spoils it for you and all that - well, at least the words of a weakling. Can't you just say, "I don't want that!"??

Do you know who most often teaches "to live"? As a rule, these are those who themselves have not achieved shit in life and are now trying to convey their supposedly conscious mistakes to you. They think it will help you.

But they don't care what YOU want! They think they know what's best for you, and you probably believe it. Not worth it. You have your own life and only you know what you need and what you want.

And only you are responsible for yourself!

If you don't like something in your life, change it! Stop looking for someone to blame for your failures. No one decides how you live for you! Remember this.

Tell yourself “I am responsible for myself, only I decide what my life will be” and stop justifying your failures hiding behind someone! ? No? Then stop crying!

3) Don't regret the past

Why torture yourself with the past, regret about something, about what was done and what was not? Eating yourself won't make you feel any better.

Accept past mistakes as an experience from which you need to draw conclusions and not step on that rake anymore.

Memories and regrets hurt! Do you need it? Let go of the past and live in the present and future.

4) Do you have a purpose in life?

Most people live according to the principle of "how it goes." Those. they just live, do not set any goals for themselves - woke up, went to work, went to the store in the evening, came, had dinner, went to bed.

Such a groundhog day. The maximum they strive for is a vacation once a year and a pension at the end of life. But at the same time, many feel crazy towards more successful people, whose life is much more active and interesting.

Envy, but not in a hurry to change something... Afraid to deviate from the course of habits and try something new. Namely, this new often saves a person from boredom and the feeling of "I'm not happy."

5) Learn to ignore the opinions of others you do not need

People love to give advice, criticize and even laugh at the goals and actions of others. But is it worth focusing on this and giving up doing something just because someone thinks it is not “right”?

Stop being afraid of what they think of you! Live your life with your head. I'm not saying that you need to completely and completely give a damn about society, but ...

6) Positive thinking and the ability to be happy is a daily work on yourself

You can’t become a happy person overnight just by listening to some advice. Only daily work on yourself can bring you to this world of happiness that you dream of.

Learning to look at things differently, to see not only the bad in what surrounds you is not so easy when a negative attitude towards everything has become a kind of habit.

People in the same environment can feel completely different.

And let both have a yacht on the shore of their own beach, or both will heat the stove in a remote village - the perception of the world around them under the same conditions will be different.

Simply put, one will be happy to chop wood, and the other will cry over his fate. Or one will rejoice at looking at his beach, rejoice at the fact that he was able to succeed, while the second will not be enough and he will still feel miserable.

7) Being unhappy is much easier than being happy.

Returning to everything written above, we can definitely say that it is more difficult to be a happy person than an unhappy one. If only because you need to work hard on yourself.

Recognizing your own shortcomings and the fact that no one but yourself is to blame for your misfortunes can be very difficult.

Learning to look at the world differently, to think somehow differently - all this is not done in one day. I seem to be repeating myself.

Don't try to change everything at once

You probably have hundreds of questions in your head right now: “Where to start? how to change everything at once? etc. No need to try to change everything in your life at once!

Go through the points, you can even draw up a plan for yourself and follow it.

And it would be best to start by recognizing the true reasons for an unhappy life and wanting ... really wanting to change everything! Only by desiring something for real, you can achieve what you want!

This is where I will probably end my article today. Thank you all for your attention!

I hope I answered the question of how to become a happy person and now, together with you, I will continue to follow the advice and become happier!)

There are still many interesting topics ahead, so subscribe to everything new, I promise not to fill up your mail with trash!)

See you soon! Be happy! And take care of your relatives, friends and loved ones... This makes them happy.

Always with you, Sasha Bogdanova

Text: practicing psychologist Elena Sultanova

Happiness is a state to which, consciously or not, almost everyone aspires. Another thing is that everyone has their own happiness: someone has a prosperous family, someone has professional self-realization, someone has material wealth.

Being a happy person is both easy and difficult. The difficulty is that in order to become happy, you need to know some conditions for achieving happiness, about them below. But the main difficulty lies in the fact that happiness has ceased to be interesting to people. Almost any modern book, film or song can easily convince you of this: the fate of the heroes is distorted by some kind of tragedy, someone's untimely death, an accident, unrequited love. And to empathize, thus, we learn not at all happiness, but unhappiness. And it is misfortune that we most often try on ourselves. The one who is happy is of no interest to anyone, at best. And at worst, it causes dislike. Remember how Toska said in "Girls": "You are happy, Katya, and happiness blinds people's eyes."

Another difficulty on the path to happiness lies in our delusion that happiness is difficult to achieve. In general, we are accustomed to thinking that the good must be earned, and what is given easily is worth nothing. There is even an expression - "suffering happiness." Often, instead of becoming really happy, we begin to get this happiness by inventing obstacles and suffering for ourselves out of the blue. We do not believe in happiness if it comes into our own hands. We consider real what is gained through suffering, obtained, earned, and never - what was in our hands easily and joyfully.

How can you still be happy?

• 1 Determine the parameters of your happiness Remember that being happy is also a goal. And in order to achieve the goal, it must be seen, known. Determine for yourself by what signs you will understand that you are happy, otherwise it may come, but you will not notice. If happiness for you is when you are loved, decide how you will understand that you are loved. The more parameters and characteristics you find, the clearer your goal will be and the easier the path to it. Try to play with your happiness. Remember how we used to play mother-daughter and build the perfect family and the perfect home? Taste your happiness, taste it, smell it. Choose key roles and scenery - this will determine where your happiness is possible and with whom.
• 2 Figure out what makes you happy in life In order to feel happy, it is important not only to draw the scenery, but also to fill it with things that bring you joy. Make your list of what invariably pleases you and gives you pleasure, without which life would turn into gray everyday life. It can be weekly gatherings with friends in a cafe, a new book, shopping, etc. Make it a rule to periodically check your list, and, as it is implemented, cross out something, add something. See how much of this list you implement in your life. If not, what's stopping you? Check out what you can do to realize what gives you joy. Maybe for the sake of this you will have to give up some boring and uninteresting things.
• 3 Live in the present You cannot be happy yesterday or tomorrow, only today. Remember that only in the present time at our disposal is all our strength, energy, attention. During the day, listen to your thoughts - you will find that you are considering what happened yesterday, as well as what will happen tomorrow. So it may turn out that you are practically absent in the present. So be happy right here and now. If nothing pleases you in the present, then it is very likely that the future will not please you too much, because it also tends to become present someday.
• 4 Build on what you're willing to do Happiness must certainly be built on a combination of "I can" and "I want." It’s not enough to want something, you still need to be able and ready to do it, otherwise happiness will turn into a soap bubble that will burst one day, leaving disappointment in its place. Think again about the parameters of your happiness and look at the list that you made in point 2 - this is what you want. But what are you willing and willing to do in order to be happy? Remember that your list should only include what you can do for yourself. Because "everyone is the blacksmith of his own happiness."
• 5 Accept yourself for who you are Happiness is built on accepting yourself as a person, on agreeing to be who you are. American psychologists have a saying: "If you're in Chicago, you can't call anywhere but Chicago." This means that if you want to be happy, then you can only do it from the state in which you are now. Happiness is not built on who you will someday be, but on who you already are. Write down your virtues on a piece of paper, study it and remember: your virtues are something that you can rely on in life. Write down your shortcomings on a piece of paper as well and do the following thing: turn each shortcoming into a virtue. Remember: "I'm not a brake, I'm a slow gas"? Or "I'm not a bore, I just pay a lot of attention to detail." Or “Yes, I am, and this is my way of doing things”?.
• 6 Shape your employment Life is more interesting the more activities we are involved in. We often dream about rest, about the opportunity not to work. However, according to psychological research, the less we do something, the more likely we are to fixate on one activity or settle for a less desirable activity. That is why there are more dysfunctional women among housewives than among women who work hard.

At the very beginning, we said that being happy is not only difficult, but also simple. In order to be happy, you only need an inner desire and intention to be happy. It is not circumstances that make a person happy, but an inner readiness to be happy and the ability to be content with what he has. Surely everyone is familiar with the state when everything seems to be there for happiness, but there is no happiness itself. But happiness is not when there are no problems. When you are happy, both troubles and failures can happen in life. However, a happy person understands that there can be troubles and failures, and accepts them not as obstacles, but as springboards - in order to better push off.

Every person wants to find their own happiness. Many will spend their whole lives on it and never find it. In most cases, something constantly prevents people from being happy: difficulties, defeats, minor troubles. When do you want to feel happy?

How to be happy

Live here and now

Everything is very simple, happiness - . It often seems that it walks very close: “I’ll endure a little more (lose weight, meet true love, now he (she) will change), and finally life will improve.” Unfortunately, the reasoning that happiness is somewhere ahead, around the corner, is a big and insidious delusion. If there is no feeling of happiness now, then tomorrow it will not appear. If the world is gray and evil now, why will it suddenly change tomorrow?

To become a happy person, notice all the good things that you saw, received and felt today, and you will see how many reasons you will have to be happy. What your life is filled with is your happiness - friends, favorite work or your business, hobbies, travel, people who are really dear to you and who do not mind spending their time on you. What else is there to be happy about?

Happiness is in the little things

No matter how trite it may sound. Most people expect that “happiness” will suddenly fall on them like a stone block. And because of that, they are looking for him in some global things and extraordinary states - fabulous love, eternal luck, constant achievements (and while this is not there, then happiness, as it were, too). This is a trap. You can raise the bar to any height, but never reach it. And you can go forward from one small victory to another, achieve a feasible goal and enjoy it and be it.

Difficulties and sorrows are not yet a reason to feel unhappy. Our whole life is a zebra. There are no successes without failures, because it is not in vain that they say “there is no blessing in disguise”. Happiness is not the absence of problems and troubles. Everyone has them. The only difference is who reacts to them how. Some perceive failure as bad luck, others as a new life experience. Of course, the accumulated baggage of life significantly affects our character and mood. Previous experience is varied. Not always cheerful and pleasant, but still very valuable. It helps to reconsider many things, one's environment, one's behavior, as well as to realize something and not repeat mistakes, to learn and move on. Each test in life gives something to a person and enriches him with something: if today you were robbed on a bus, then tomorrow you will be more attentive. If at work you, roughly speaking, messed up, then next time you will be neat.

Making any choice, a person makes the best decision. First of all, for yourself! The best is from the point of view of that period of life and that view of the situation, from the point of view of the available forces, abilities and opportunities. It is quite possible that in the future the decision made will turn out to be a mistake, but it was then, at that moment in time, that it was the most correct.

Remember, do not persuade yourself, namely, remember and understand that everything that happens in your life is necessary and right for you personally. Even if you once again meet “the wrong” people and make the same mistakes, it means that you need these “rakes” for something. Look at the situation from the outside, maybe you are doing something wrong.

Happiness is in you

A sense of happiness, like self-confidence, cannot be obtained from the outside. Nobody can make another happy. Happiness grows only from within. Only the ability to rejoice makes a person happy. Don't look for happiness. It is always within yourself.

Every person deserves happiness

Many people live with complete confidence that happiness is difficult to achieve, it must be “earned”, “cryed out”, but just like that it is not given. It's a bullshit. All the best things in life - smiles, kisses, good memories, communication, meetings - we can get for free. It's very simple: there are no keys to happiness. The door is always open.

What to do to become a happy person

1. To become a happy person, learn not to be led by bad circumstances. Respond to any difficulties in a non-standard way. Instead of sitting down and being sad, go for a walk and eat something tasty, in other words, have fun. But of course, not with the help of alcohol, it will only aggravate the situation. When really terrible things happen (the death of a loved one, for example), it is difficult, of course, to pretend that nothing happened. But you still have to accept it and move on. And no matter how loud it sounds, to make new victories for the sake of this person.

2. Take care and pamper yourself, learn to listen to your body and your soul, do what makes you happy more often, and thank the Universe for what you have.

3. Think positively, learn to enjoy life. The life that exists here and now, and not the one that is seen in dreams or is waiting "around the corner".

Be happy!

What does it take to be a happy person? Many people think that for this they need something external: money, love, someone's respect, and so on. Of course, these things will not interfere with happiness, but they are not decisive. Happiness is not something that can be acquired - it is a whole view of the world.

Some events constantly happen to us and a lot depends on how we interpret them. For example, if it started to rain, then someone will say “Yo-my, this rain again!”, And someone will say “Wow! Rain! Class!". The event is the same, but it can cause diametrically opposite feelings.

The secret to becoming a happy person lies in changing your perception. How to do this will be discussed in this article.

What is happiness?

In order to figure out how to become a happy person, you first need to understand what happiness is.

After all, happiness cannot be touched, cannot be described. In fact, it is just a word that means that we are good. But for some reason, this is not enough for many. They are waiting for something so supernatural, significant, that goes far beyond their natural experience, and at the same time this state should always be!

Is it achievable? If you put the question like that, then it's unlikely. It's better to think about something else.

How will you know that you are happy?

The lack of happiness in many people lies in the fact that they simply do not understand what it is, and therefore are unable to recognize the good in their lives. Try to answer these questions for yourself:

1. What do you need to get to be happy?
2. What should you feel about it?
3. Why can't you feel it now?

When are we good? We feel good when our life becomes better. When there is something to compare. For example, if we were very hungry and then ate something, then we feel that we feel good. Or when a person could not go to the toilet for a long, long time and suddenly this desire was satisfied, then he feels very good!

In order to feel happiness, it is necessary to have some relative point with which we can compare.

Notice, not just that our life would improve, but that we should feel this process, pay attention to it.

Many people, recalling their childhood and youth, believe that it was then that they were happy, although when they were young, they did not think so. Why is this happening? Because in youth, many things were really better: there was better health, some positive dynamics were observed, every day we became smarter, stronger, got more rights, we had more opportunities. But in youth, people do not pay attention to this and therefore do not feel happiness.

Only after losing their health, many people understand what a happiness it is to have health.

Only after losing love, many understand what a happiness it was to have it.

Here are some simple secrets.

What makes up our response model?

So, the secret of happiness is to positively assess your current situation. But this is easier said than done. After all, we evaluate our life not only with reason, but also with emotions.

Emotions do not come from a vacuum. They are always conditioned by our attitude to the situation. Roughly speaking, we first evaluate some process, and then, based on this conclusion, we have emotions.

For example, a person got stuck in a traffic jam. This is a situation that is out of control. And our emotions depend on what mental conclusion we have made about it. Someone can look at this situation positively, “It's a pity, but I have time to listen to an audiobook”, and the other will take out a continuous negative from this situation, “Those road builders again! Is it really impossible to work at night. Radishes! Scoundrels!”. Accordingly, there will be completely different emotional reactions.

It is from such emotional reactions that our attitude towards the world as a whole, towards ourselves, our lives, and people is formed. What is the difference between these two people? Why do they give such different assessments of the same events? It's all about the automatic thoughts that rush through their heads in a split second.

Automatic thoughts and happiness

All people have heard about the subconscious, but few understand what it is. Most people think that this is almost a second consciousness in our head. In fact, it is all the same consciousness, but just in a slightly different mode of operation.

The subconscious is those functions that our brain performs automatically.. For example, the process of walking or breathing. We can exercise control over these features as needed, but in most cases we don't need to.

Similar automatisms exist in thinking. You can read more about this in the article “Convoluted Thoughts”. Usually these are judgments about various aspects of reality.

For example, a driver who endlessly scolds other drivers for being bad drivers may be guided by such an automatic judgment - "Again they are doing everything wrong!".

A person with such an automatic thought constantly interprets any situation that is uncomfortable for him as the result of someone else's stupidity or malice. He does this without any analysis, automatically. Next comes the next automatic thought. “If someone is wrong, you need to be angry.”

As a result, such a person is constantly angry about all sorts of little things. He becomes irritable, he experiences severe stress, because “everyone around is wrong and you need to be angry about this.”

Agree that it is hard enough to become a happy person with such an attitude to life.

One automatic thought leads to another. Thus, a scenario of responding to some type of similar situations arises. For example:

Something disadvantageous is happening → Someone is to blame → We must be angry → We must express our dissatisfaction

But it’s not necessarily someone’s fault, it’s not necessary to be angry because of this and it’s not necessary to express dissatisfaction. Unfortunately, usually automatic thoughts cause us to react in a typical way.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we are designed to simplify the process of thinking and make as few decisions as possible. To do this, we automate this process. But we can change the very program on which we operate. By the way, helping in this is the essence of my work.

After all, what is the feeling of happiness? This is simply the total number of positive emotions per day. A lot of positive emotions - we are happy, little positive - we are unhappy and everything is bad.

The number of positive emotions is directly related to what kind of thinking scenario we have.

Beliefs and Happiness

In addition to automatic thoughts, our perception is strongly influenced by beliefs.

If automatic thoughts are something like a script along which our thought moves, then beliefs are the building blocks from which our knowledge of the world is formed.

For example, there may be beliefs “The world is a hostile and meaningless place”, “People are bad and there is nothing to love them for”, or there may be beliefs “The world takes care of me. Everything is for the best!”, “Most people are kind and helpful.”

In fact, both are simplifications. The world is too complex to fit into any framework. However, these beliefs shape our response pattern.

We are forced to simplify our view of the world in order to somehow exist in it and develop some kind of position on what is happening. We need axioms from which we can build.

However, it is much more profitable to perceive the world positively. Firstly, this makes us happier, and secondly, a positive outlook on things increases our initiative and energy.

Therefore, in order to become a happy person, you need to revise your beliefs.

In order to become happy, you need to change your attitude to many areas of life.

The right lifestyle for a happy person

The basis for a good mood is the correct use of our body. For this:

1. Follow the routine of the day. You need to sleep at least 8 hours. In addition, if you want to have time to live, then it is advisable to go to bed at 22 and get up at 6 o'clock.
2. Eat Right. That's right - it's like in kindergarten.
3. Exercise or move a lot.
4. Be outdoors and in nature.

Change your attitude towards yourself.

Beliefs and automatic thoughts about self-esteem are key to happiness. In order for a person to feel happy, he needs to feel that he is in order.

Even if a person has everything one can dream of, but at the same time he feels insignificant, then it will be extremely difficult for him to feel good.
This involves a whole range of beliefs and response patterns.

The following beliefs can help boost self-esteem:

1. “I definitely accept myself”. Remember that you are alone. Never call yourself a fool, a loser, and so on, even if you are wrong about something. Do not hang stamps on yourself. Even self-criticism should be constructive. Criticize your actions, but never yourself!
   Around and so full of people who are happy to scold us. Always be on your side.
2. "I can do everything". It is perfectly normal that we may not be able to do something. But do not assume that this is because of our personality, social status, appearance, and so on. It takes a lot of time and effort to get something done. It's not that we can't do something, but that we haven't worked hard enough on it.
3. "I'm just like everyone else". When you understand this, then a huge layer of problems gradually disappears. On the one hand, this allows you to really look at things and land from heaven to earth, and on the other hand, a person begins to understand that he can do anything.

Change attitude towards others

Relationships with people are a huge part of our lives. We are constantly confronted with other people and the consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, we don't like everything. But there is absolutely no point in worrying about it.

We all know how hard it is to change yourself, how much time you need to spend on it. Imagine how much time it would take to change others. Does anyone really want to put their life on this?

Therefore, the actions of other people should be taken as a given, as an element. Complain, get angry, stomp your feet - nothing will change. The rest of the people are just as hostage to their beliefs and automatic thoughts as we are. It's their problem, not their fault.

Therefore, you should change your attitude towards them. The following beliefs will help you with this:

1. “Most unseemly acts happen by accident or by necessity”. It is a big mistake to assume that other people are trying to harm someone on purpose. Usually people do not even realize that they are creating inconvenience for someone. Most evil happens by chance.
2. “There is no need to prove anything to anyone”. Many people spend their lives trying to prove their point. What for? It is pointless. Even if a person understands that you are right, he will still do what is convenient for him.
   And he has every right to do so.
   Therefore, you should not waste time on this. Delusion is the problem of those who are deluded.
3. “Don't expect anything from others”. Our ideas about how other people should act are very often at odds with reality. This angers many.
   If you do not expect anything from a person, then it is impossible to be disappointed in him. Everyone lives as he can.
4. "I like people". Many people even say with some pride that they do not like the company of people. Probably want to emphasize their individualism. When you ask them “For what?”, many cannot answer. This means that the person simply decided not to love anyone. For no reason, just like that. Not realizing that in this way he spoils his life, because you still have to deal with people.

We deal with people daily. If we have a positive attitude towards people, then from interaction with them we get positive, if negative, then negative. So why ruin your life?

Loving people is great. After all, if you think about it, then everyone is just trying to snatch their piece of happiness, just like you. Help them with this and maybe they will help you with your happiness.

Change your attitude towards things

Quite often people worry about things. Something broke, something was stolen, something was lost... Someone's car was scratched, their phone was stolen, their jeans were torn.

This happens all the time. Something always goes wrong. If you worry about it every time, then you can die of sadness.

Things should be treated statistically. Once I kept a list of broken things and found that from year to year things break down or some other problems arise. I even calculated that this happens to 15% of all things, regardless of what I own.

Ownership is always temporary. You should accept this fact and no longer worry about it. As they say - "God gave - God took."

Change your attitude towards events

Not only good things happen in our lives, but also bad things. Whatever we do, it was and will be. You can't change it, but you can change your attitude towards it.

Just imagine that your life is a box containing everything good and everything bad from the very beginning. You stick your hand in it and pull out whatever you have to. Lucky or not - this is just an illusion, you will have to pull out everything that is supposed to.

As in the case with things, in our life there is a certain percentage of failures and sad events. All we can do is try to deal with such events. Personally, the saying helps me -"This too shall pass".

This is one of the most effective recipes for happiness.

Happiness is a choice

Everything I've written about so far is prerequisites. The most important secret is just to say “I am happy (a)”.

Remember, at the beginning of the article, I wrote that our emotions stem from the conclusions of our mind?

It's hard to believe at first, but if you repeat it to yourself often enough, it will become so.

To become a happy person, you need to allow yourself to be one.

Summary

1. Figure out what you need to be happy
2. Happiness is feeling that your life is better today than it was yesterday.
3. Happiness is judging your life by what you have, not by what you don't have.
4. In order to become happy, you need to change your automatic response pattern from negative to positive.
5. Lead a healthy lifestyle
6. Be positive about yourself and others
7. Don't worry about things
8. When something good happens, focus on the present. When something bad, then on the future.
9. No matter how difficult life situation we have, we can always say: “But I’m still happy!”. And the emotions will have no choice but to obey these words.