How to make a decision and not doubt. How to make the right decision

How to make the right decision

What you need to know before you make a decision, what questions to ask and how to guide your decision

Most people are afraid, do not know or do not know how (do not understand) how to approach and make a decision.

And if we divide the decision-making into stages (steps). What steps are important to make the most correct, final decision?

I will talk about these steps below, but first, what to pay attention to when making decisions.

It often happens that before making a decision, a person does not really know what he wants or which option he should choose.

And here it is important that you do not just analyze, but put aside logic for a while and immerse yourself in attention, feel whether it is really pleasant for you, whether it will be a pleasure for you to do this business for a long time. And we do not focus here only on the result, money and profit. Just listen to your inner voice, sometimes a hint may not come right away, and here it’s better not to put pressure on yourself, but to bear the answer, trust your intuition.

You can also ask yourself a couple of questions: "What does my mind tell me?" and answer out loud quickly, without thinking, and then ask: "What does my intuition (my soul) tell me?", and look very carefully at your very first thoughts that come to mind, most often they are the most correct. Observe for yourself what feelings they evoke in you, whether there is something in them that inspires you.

I consider this the main advice and in most cases, this is all that is needed to make the right decision.

Do you know what a famous and successful person said about this:

Feel free to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you really want to become.

Steve Jobs

And it often happens that the situations themselves do not tolerate reasoning from us, you just need to do something and that's it. For example, if you are single, an opportunity has presented itself and you feel that you sincerely want to get to know each other, then you should not go into all these - "What will happen if ...", listen to your heart and just follow it - take some action with the answer to all doubts - "but come what may."

5 questions in decision making

Very often we doubt whether I really need it, why. And especially if the decision affects the global and long-term perspective. Here I still recommend listening more to the inner voice, but you can ask yourself 5 leading questions.

First question- "Do I want it X do I want to do this, do I want to have this, do I want to be somebody?"Honestly Answering Ourselves" YES" or " NO".

When you have identified and answered yourself: "YES", I want to do exactly this, move on to the next question, - " If I do this, if I become someone and achieve this, will I be in harmony with myself, with the Universe, or for those who believe, in harmony with God?"

If you answered "YES" to yourself, then ask yourself the following question "If I do this, if I become someone, then bring closer whether it me to my goal, my dream ?"

If your answer is "YES", then ask yourself another question - " If I do this, if I have this, if I become someone, will it violate human rights?"

If your answer is "NO", then go to the last question - " If I achieve my goal, will I do better for myself and someone else? This question is perhaps the easiest to answer.

And having answered your questions, having decided, you need to take action. Right now, at this moment start taking action to change something in your life. To become successful, independent and finally achieve what you so desire. Don't procrastinate telling yourself- "That's it, yes, I've decided that tomorrow I'll start acting", or "I'll think again and then I will finally decide whether I need it or not"- Believe me, friends, it is unlikely that you will decide and start something.

And if you try later, as a rule, this is just another attempt and no more. Do straightaway even the smallest step is important your first step important START.

For example, such a first step is the need to collect useful information, find out what and how. The more details you know, the easier it is to make decisions and move faster and more confidently.

Just worry and don't move

Do not delay making final decisions if you already feel that this is yours, you crave change and you need it, and do not worry too much now about how you will be and when, what will come - these are not the questions now, gradually everything will come itself. Your main goal now is to make a decision.

If you delay making a decision, it means that you have already made a decision - to leave everything as it is.

Remember that Doubts will still remain and you should not get rid of them in every possible way. It’s normal to experience, because no one can predict success and know exactly how everything will go, you can only, to a greater or lesser extent, believe depending on experience and conditions.

And once you make the final decision and start taking the first steps
, all these "HOW" - they will come to you. You will find or meet the right people, and the right situations will begin to arise around you. You will begin to attract them to you, this is some kind of amazing phenomenon, but I convinced myself that it works, like a relationship with the universe.

By the way, think carefully for yourself and remember when you started to think about something and do something, no matter what, when all of a sudden, right away or after some time, something started to happen - you met the right people or you found yourself in that place and at that time, or the necessary information came across.

So, The main thing - decide.

Don't base yourself on decision making From what you have today, think what you want, strive for it and make your decision on that. The fear of failure is always stronger than the possibility of change, it is much more terrible for us to lose something than the desire to try to gain something, but if you are guided only, you will not go far.

And all other questions, such as - "Can I do this?", "Am I doing it right?" "And if it doesn't work out?" - All these questions are not questions of a person who wants more from life. They should be given attention only for a quick assessment of the reality of what is being implemented, in order to correct the course and no more.

Almost every one of you has been in a situation where, having made some decision and started doing something, after a while, maybe quickly, maybe later, you understand - it should have been different.

If you do not accept for yourself that there is not and will not be an absolutely right decision, if you are afraid and based on the fear of mistakes, you will never achieve what you dream of. The point is that You either do it or you don't and there's no other choice.. Except as an even worse option, it is being all the time in a waiting state only to think and dream about something, to wait 100% opportunity in the hope that this will come, do nothing, and all the time be in a state of dissatisfaction with yourself and your life.

"Any course of action has its own price and risk. But they are much less than the price and risk of comfortable doing nothing"

John F. Kennedy

What stops you from making better decisions?

We are in different states at different times, depending on some external or internal factors, and as a result, no matter how smart you are, our consciousness perceives the situation differently. And when making some decision, you failed to make the right choice That's why that at that time were not in that condition, you may have been depressed, anxious and overworked, and you simply did not have enough potential.

In another case, when you almost immediately understand what led to the wrong decision, and not because you made a conscious wrong decision, not because " consciousness is not enough", but because it was not possible to restrain oneself, to control oneself by discarding emotions (most often this happens, and this is the saddest thing).

Very often we are blinded by emotions that make us miss important nuances in making a particular choice and which later may turn out to be decisive. Therefore, always before making an important decision, calm down, for this it is best to observe the breath for 5-8 slow, calm inhalations and exhalations, and if you are too excited then postpone the decision for a while, let your brain calm down and clear up.

How to be guided in decisions (choice of actions)

Make decisions based on the principles

When making decisions, always remember and be guided by your main principles and sincere desires. For example, if you want to start a business, then you need to consider that it will not be an easy walk, but hard work. Are you ready to sacrifice your comfort, personal time and family time? And what is it all for?

Maybe you will understand that just the same family, comfort and peace, this is what you are striving for, and earning a lot of money can take a lot of this away from you. Some people, starting to chase money, forget about their main values, for the sake of which they began to do it at all.

If you still feel that this business or something else is necessary for you, then go ahead and be bolder.

Focus on the essentials

When you have already decided everything, started to act and determine the direction every day, decide what to do now, always be guided by priority main action, ask yourself - "What is the best right now, at this moment, I can do in order to get closer to my goal?"

And taking concrete action - without delay, you try to do it.. Just don't over tighten.

How to make a decision. Motivation

And for my support, motivation, I highly recommend keeping a diary, this is really important.

How do we make a diary? In a new notebook we write, first questions, then we answer - " Why do I need it?", "What will it give me?", " How confident will I become?", "How will I feel about it?", "How will I live with this??", "What opportunities will this give me?". Describe everything vividly, in colorful images, presenting as if you have already achieved success and are now experiencing these sensations.

And every day you should start by reading the diary, with this most powerful motivation. You perform actions already in a different mood, and with each subsequent day this mood will become better.

In what you write, in 95% of cases you will not believe. Why is that? Because it's all about the (settings) that we have inside, in our subconscious. And if we do not change these attitudes, we are doomed to failure. In order to reprogram, change these programs, you will write this diary. When you put your thoughts on paper, the brain perceives everything differently than when it happens in your head.

But the best thing is if you still, at the same time, find a like-minded person who will share your vision, your goals. And sharing with him your thoughts, or even read them aloud. Everything will begin to boil inside you, you will, as it were, be divided in two. One part will say-" You can not ", other " You will succeed ". And most importantly, with such repetition and discipline you program your subconscious, change your unsuccessful installations.

There are other ways of programming, but this is in other articles. Why others? It's simple - one of us perceives everything visually, then audio information, or you need both together. All this can be easily felt if you just listen to yourself. In the meantime, I recommend learning a little more about with it, it can dramatically change your life as a whole.

And one moment, each person in the process of the journey has such days when everything falls out of hand, there is no mood, well-being, to put it mildly, is not working and you need to continue doing something, but things are not going at all. Write on a card that you will always carry with you your most cherished goal. And when you need to act, but there is no mood, take out your card and ask yourself, "Why and why do you need all this?" And honestly answer this question for yourself. Your response will motivate you to take action and only action will lead you to your goal.

Finally, how to decide:

And always remember, each of us is a unique person, with his own weaknesses, but also his own strengths. And each of us has the right to be who we want!

Good luck in making the right decisions and energy for action! !

Best regards Andrey Russkikh

Check it out for sure! How to fulfill a dream

Today I will tell you what methods will allow you make the right decision and learn to make decisions in general. This article will be based not only on my experience, but also on the decision-making methodology outlined in the famous book by Chip Heath and Dean Heath - “. This technique helps to make effective choices in business, career and education. Here I will outline the main points of this technique, and also talk about what helps me personally in finding the right solutions.

Method 1 - Avoid "narrow borders"

Often we fall into the trap of "narrow frames", when our thinking reduces the whole variety of possible solutions to a problem in only two options: yes or no, to be or not to be. “Should I divorce my husband or not?” “Should I buy this particular expensive car or take the subway?” Should I go to the party or stay at home?

When we choose only between "Yes or No", in fact, we are stuck in only one alternative (eg, breaking up with her husband, making a purchase) and ignoring the others. But maybe there are other options in your relationship besides breaking up with your partner and returning to the status quo. For example, try, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.

If you choose not to buy an expensive car on credit, it doesn't mean that exhausting subway rides are your only remaining alternative. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But, perhaps, the most correct choice will lie in a different plane of decisions. Maybe it will be more convenient and profitable to rent an apartment closer to work. Or change jobs to less distant from home.

An alternative to choosing between different breeds of cats or dogs may be for you to go to a cattery and choose a homeless pet that you like best.

This seems like an obvious tactic for thinking about choices, yet many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to a yes or no dichotomy. We instinctively strive for this, because it is much easier to consider the problem only in black and white, and not in all its diversity. But it turns out that with this approach we only create difficulties for ourselves.

Also, we often try to consider a choice between two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we don’t notice that both of these extremes can be implemented simultaneously and in fact it is not at all necessary to choose one of them.

Method 2 - Expand the selection

This method is a development of the previous method. Many of us know situations when we want to make an important purchase, for example, to buy an apartment. We arrive at the first apartment, and we are fascinated by their appearance, and the realtor offers "favorable" terms of the transaction and thereby provokes us to make a quick decision. And we are already thinking not about “which apartment to choose”, but about “whether to buy this particular apartment or not to buy”.

Do not hurry. It is better to look at five apartments, instead of buying the first one that comes across. Firstly, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. Perhaps there are better suggestions. Secondly, the time you spend looking at the rest of the offers will “cool down” your instant emotions. And momentary emotions always interfere with the right choice. While you are under their influence, you may overlook some obvious flaws in the apartment you like, but as time passes, you will be able to see the whole picture more clearly.

We become too attached to the goal to which our thinking is initially tuned. And this forms a strong inertia in decision-making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and we ignore what contradicts it. For example, you wanted to enter a certain university from school. A few years later, you failed your entrance exams. And now you are thinking about preparing hard and trying your luck again in a year. You dismiss all the arguments of your friends in favor of choosing another university, as you are used to thinking that your choice is the best.

But what if in the few years it took you to finish school, the situation has changed and the university you want to go to is no longer the same as before? Suddenly new promising educational institutions appeared? Do not get attached to your choice and conduct a comparative analysis. Expand your selection! Familiarize yourself with the curriculum and teaching staff at other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?

To become less attached to one alternative, the auxiliary method of "disappearing options" will help you.

Variant Disappearance Method

Imagine that the alternative you have chosen cannot be chosen for some reason. For example, the university you want to enter, let's say, was closed. Now think about what you would do if this really happened. And start doing it. You would probably look at other possibilities, and probably in the process you would discover how many great options you missed out on because you were fixated on one alternative.

Method 3 - Get as much information as possible

The authors, Chip, and Dean Heese are surprised that it is common practice for many people to read reviews before buying electronics, booking hotels, or choosing hairdressers. But at the same time, when it comes to choosing a job or university, fewer people use this wonderful practice, which helps to get a lot of valuable information.

Before making a decision about employment in a particular company, you can study the reviews of people who worked in it. This is better than relying only on the information provided to you by HR and the future boss.

The Heath brothers suggest asking one question at the interview for this.

“Who worked in the position before me? What is his name and how can I contact him?

There is nothing wrong with trying to get firsthand information. When I learned about this practice, I was surprised that, despite the obvious advantages of this approach, it never occurred to me to use it during my job search!

You may not always be given the contacts of these people. In this case, it will help you get information practice of leading questions.

This practice is good because it allows you to get information from someone who is reluctant to share it.

At the interview:

Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you may be promised brilliant prospects and good working conditions), ask more direct questions:

“How many people have left this position in the last three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?"
Asking this question will help you get more reliable information about your future work.

In the shop:

One study found that when sales consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, were asked the question, "Tell me something about this iPod," only 8% of them reported problems with it. But when they had to answer the question: “What is his problem?” 90% of all managers honestly reported the shortcomings of this model.

Method 4 - Get rid of momentary emotions

As I wrote above, instant emotions can greatly interfere with decision making. They make you lose sight of something important and focus on small things that later turn out to be insignificant.

Many of us face the dire results of impulsive and unconscious choices, realizing that at the time of making the decision, we were blinded by our emotions and didn't see the full picture.

This may concern an early marriage or an impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.

The first way to get rid of emotions - 10/10/10

This method allows you to go beyond the narrow perspective that instantaneous impulses set. It consists in asking yourself three questions before making a decision:

How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
And after 10 months?
What will happen in 10 years?

For example, you fell in love with another man and want to leave your children and leave your husband. If you make this decision, what will you think of it in 10 minutes? Probably, the euphoria of falling in love and a new life will rage in you! Of course, you will not regret your decision.

But after 10 months, passion and love will subside (it always happens), and perhaps when the veil of euphoria that has covered your eyes disappears, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, a bitter feeling of loss of something dear will begin to manifest. You may find that what you used to take for granted was actually a benefit of your previous relationship. And this is no longer in your new relationship.

It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after the ardor of falling in love passes, you will realize that you have come to the same thing that you were running from.

Of course, I'm not saying that this will be the case for everyone. For many relationships, divorce is the best solution. But, nevertheless, I am sure that a lot of divorces happen impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it is better to weigh everything carefully and distance yourself from the delusion of euphoria in anticipation of change.

The second way to get rid of emotions - Breathe

Before making any important choice, give yourself a little time out. Take 10 calm full and slow inhalations and exhalations of equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts of inhalation - 6 slow counts of exhalation. And so 10 cycles.

This will calm you well and cool the ardor. Well, do you still want to order this expensive trinket you don’t need, just because you saw the same one from a colleague?

This method can be combined with the previous one. Breathe first and then apply 10/10/10.

The third way to get rid of emotions - "Ideal me"

I came up with this method when I could not make one decision. And he helped me a lot (I wrote about him in more detail in the article ""). Think about what your “ideal self” would do or what would be the ideal scenario for the development of events under the existing restrictions. For example, you are thinking whether to go out drinking today or stay at home with your wife and children. Many factors in the decision will compete with each other: a sense of duty and a momentary desire to drink, caring for children and health with the need to have fun.

What to do? Think about what would be ideal. Just stay realistic. I understand that ideally you would like to split in two, so that one part of you stays at home and the other part of you has a party, while alcohol would not bring her any harm and a hangover the next day. But that doesn't happen. Given the restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home, because last week you promised yourself to drink less. You realize that your wife rarely sees you and if you don't go to the party you will feel better the next day.

No need to think about what you want more. Because, Just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. Desires are fickle and fleeting. Now you want one. But tomorrow you may regret indulging your momentary desire. Consider which option would be correct. What would an ideal husband do?

The fourth way to get rid of emotions - What would you advise a friend?

Imagine that you want to change your job to a more comfortable and highly paid one, but you are afraid of change, you are afraid of being disappointed, you don’t want to let your colleagues down, you are worried about what your boss will think of you in connection with your departure. Because of this, you can't make up your mind about it.

But what if this choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What would you advise him? Surely, if he shared with you fears at the expense of disappointments and the opinion of the boss, you would answer him: “Come on, you think about all sorts of nonsense! Do what's best for you."

Surely many of you have noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends in solving some situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about another person's decision, we only look at the essentials. But when it comes to ourselves, a bunch of little things immediately pop up, to which we attach exaggerated importance. Therefore, to get rid of the influence of these unimportant things on your decision, think about what advice you would give to your friend if he was in a similar situation.

The fifth way to get rid of emotions - just wait

Remember, a quick decision is very often a bad decision, because it can be made under the influence of emotions. You don't have to listen to impulsive desires every time. In some cases, it makes sense to just wait and not make a spontaneous choice. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, are quite intense and can be difficult to cope with. On the other hand, they are fleeting and you just have to wait a while, and this desire will disappear. You will realize that what seemed to be an essential need a couple of hours ago, in fact, you do not need.

Personally, I like to let some decision “ripen” in my head, give it time, provided that I have nowhere to rush. It doesn't mean that I think about him all the time. I can do some business, and suddenly the decision will appear by itself. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but I am in no hurry to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.

In a few days, details may “surface” in my head that can change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was the right thought, only now, I will be sure of it.

The sixth way to get rid of emotions - stay focused

This method is suitable in situations where you need to make quick decisions while under psychological pressure, for example, at an interview.

As a poker lover, I know how important it is to stay focused so as not to give in to instant emotions. Poker is basically a game of decision making. I have noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far away from the game between hands, I make unreasonable and emotional actions when it's my turn to bet. But if I am focused on the game, even when I am not in the hand, for example, just watching the opponents, this allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around me and myself, think only about the game and not let unnecessary thoughts and emotions into brain.

So, for example, during an interview, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything they tell you. Do not let extraneous thoughts enter your head, such as: “what did they think of me?”, “Did I say too much?” Think about it later. But for now, be here and now. This will help you make the right choice.

Method 10 - When Not to Use All of These Methods

Looking at all these methods, it seems that decision making is a very complex process. In fact, these methods are designed to help you make choices, in which each alternative is determined by a set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no flaws? What if you have nothing to lose if you choose one option?

Then forget about all these tips, act and see what happens.

For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are alone and are just looking for a mate. Stop going over the pros and cons in your head. You have nothing to lose if you come up and get to know each other. This is an absolutely simple solution.

Such situations are an exception. The more you think about them and weigh the decisions, the more uncertainty and the chances of missing an opportunity grow. Therefore, where the choice does not cost you anything, think less and act!

Conclusion - A little about intuition

The methods I've been talking about are attempts to formalize decision making. Give clarity and clarity to this process. But I do not want to belittle the role of intuition.

These methods should not confuse you, instilling in you an illusory confidence that any decisions are amenable to reason and dry analysis. This is wrong. Often the choice is characterized by a lack of complete information, and you will have to accept the fact that in many situations you cannot know with 100% certainty in advance which decision will be better. Sometimes you just need to choose something, and then it will be clear whether you made the right choice or not.

Therefore, you need to use intuition, instead of waiting until your methods give you an unambiguous prediction of the correctness of one or another alternative. But at the same time, one should not overestimate her role and rely too much on her “gut”. For this, there is a formalized approach that is designed to balance your mind and feelings, logic and intuition. The right balance between these things is the art of decision making!

The whole life of a person consists of a series of decisions - large and small. Some of them affect the rest of your life. Many people have difficulty when faced with the need to make a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process the most effective, and what methods can be used to do this.

Every day life puts us in front of a choice, throwing up a variety of tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? What phone to buy? Where to go to rest during the holidays? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Quit your job or stay? There are decisions that do not really affect anything, but there are those that radically change life.

All people behave differently when they make decisions. There is a category of people who are called "pofigists". They never suffer from a choice, because they prefer the first available or the simplest option. They put on the clothes that they get out of the closet first, go on a date with the one who invites them first, get the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t worth the effort.

Another category of people when making important decisions is guided by intuition. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not many such people.

Most of the people are individuals who experience difficulties during the choice. They suffer, doubt, weigh each option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you are one of those people and do not know how to make a decision, if in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn a few methods that make the selection process easier.

Method 1. Descartes Square

The essence of the method is to consider the problem you are facing from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. For each section, write one of the following questions:

What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?
What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?

Think and write in each square the answer to the question. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and not implementing it, you can understand what decision you should make.

If you don’t know how to act in this or that situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Folk wisdom says that each person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides on the right path. The guardian angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through a loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.

Method 3. "Expanding the scope"

The problem with most people is that they narrow themselves down and see no alternatives. They tend to obsess over “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to borrow a car. You see only two choices - take a car on credit or continue to travel by public transport.

By expanding the selection box, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse a loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and not use public transport; you can generally change jobs by getting a job in another company located close to your home; you can arrange with one of your colleagues to drive you to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.

Method 4. "Disappearance of options"

Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to work for has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other, equally interesting options for a new job that you have not seen before because you are fixated on one.

Method 5. "Glass of water"

The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, the founder of the Silva Method, the author of books on non-traditional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour into a glass of clean, unboiled water. Hold the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that concerns you and clearly articulate the issue that needs to be resolved. Then, slowly, drink half a glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”

Place a glass of water next to your bed and go to bed. In the morning after waking up, the first thing to do is drink water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.

Method 6. "Delay"

If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you are excited and your brain is overloaded with information, making the right choice is very difficult. Remember how often in a hurry you made the wrong decision, and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require an instant decision, so don't be afraid to put it off for a while.

Method 7. "Know the information"

Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to give preference to. When it comes to buying a product, read online reviews about it. When deciding to change jobs, find out all about the position you will be taking and the people who have worked there before you. If possible, seek out these people for first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.

The more important the decision you make, the more responsible your approach to finding the right information should be. So you will protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.

Method 8. "Reject emotions"

Emotions make it very difficult to make the right decision, because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally aroused person is not able to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule for yourself: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, anger, as well as stormy joy, euphoria are bad advisers in making decisions.

If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. So you will protect yourself from rash acts and their consequences.

How to get rid of emotions?

Even when you understand that emotions are preventing you from making the right choice, you can't always get rid of them. To facilitate this process, use simple methods.

10/10/10

This method allows you to discard momentary impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:

How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?

Let's say you want to borrow an expensive car. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? Surely you will be in euphoria, rejoicing in your acquisition. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden, you will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and needs repair, or maybe you are already so tired of it that you want to sell it.

The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you have done later.

stay in the dark

A good way to subdue emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person, helps to put thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this is done so that gold and precious stones play better and shimmer in the rays of light? Not only for this. Marketers know that bright lights are more likely to cause a person to make impulse purchases.

If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a semi-dark or dark room, think again about the consequences of your choice.

Breathe deeply

Another simple but effective method to help in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow and deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”.

Think about what advice you would give to a friend.

To reduce emotions and cool the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who is facing the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?

Many people notice such a feature in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their acquaintances, but they themselves, getting into similar situations, behave extremely stupidly. This happens because looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves inside the problem, then a lot of all sorts of little things pop up, to which we attach too much importance.

The ability to abstract and look at the situation with an open mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.

Method 9. "Following life priorities"

Each person has his own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of return from you; the second is less prestigious and not with such a high salary, but you do not need to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?

To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family is in the first place, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.

Method 10. "Intuition"

Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. It can tell you a way out when rational methods have not brought the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, and the inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe you should listen to him?

Develop intuition, and it will become a great helper in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.

Once in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or rather, apply several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best, and you will be able to use it in a variety of life situations. By learning how to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.

what to do if you are a leader and you face a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: one cannot be pardoned, one cannot be fired, and it is not clear where to put a comma. In this article, we will share several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.

If you are trapped

Usually making a difficult decision is necessary in a difficult life situation. Stress affects a person in different ways: someone withdraws into himself, someone is worried and does not sleep at night, someone is hysterical and breaks down on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche, often he is not able to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or his inner circle. Time shows that impulsive and ill-conceived decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, career, your relationship, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before using the methods described below in practice, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.

There are several ways to calm emotions:

short-term - breathe properly. Take 10 deep slow breaths - this will help you calm down;
medium-term - imagine that your friend is in such a situation and asks you for advice. What will you tell him? Surely discard all emotions and try to look at the situation from a distance, objectively. So try it;
long-term - take a timeout. Just let go of the situation for a while, do other things, and after a week or a month, return to it. So you will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not chop off the shoulder. And secondly, the right decision will ripen in your head on its own, like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.

Now that emotions no longer influence your choice, let's talk about eight reliable decision-making methods.

1. Method of pluses and minuses

Use the good old way: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in two. In the left column, write all the pros of the chosen solution, in the right column, respectively, the cons. Do not limit yourself to a few positions: the list should contain 15-20 items. Then calculate which will be more. Profit!

The essence of the methoda: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the ratio of pluses and minuses, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?

2. Make habits

This method is suitable if you find it difficult to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to raise the salary of a new employee or not worth it yet, put on the site or another company. What to eat for dinner, in the end, french fries or fish and vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and continue to follow them. For example, enter an iron rule: raise the salary of employees only after six months of work in your company. It is cheaper to buy stationery products exclusively from the Skrepka company. There are light and healthy dishes for dinner - you yourself will soon say thank you. Well, with the callback, you get the idea, yes.

The essence of the method: following habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully equipped.

3. Method "If - then"

This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: immediately dismiss him or try to re-educate him? Try using the "if-then" technique. Tell yourself: if he once again allows himself to mistreat the client, you will deprive him of the bonus. If the incident repeats, fire.

The essence of the method:as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately fall off the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a negligent employee.

It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch. The rule is: Before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:

what will you think about it 10 minutes later;
How will you feel about your choice in 10 months?
What will you say in 10 years?

Let's take an example. Let's take a young man who works as a manager, does not like work, but tolerates it, because money is needed. He dreams of quitting, taking a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of burning out and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a tit in the hands is preferred to a crane in the sky.

It is difficult for our hero to take the first step - to quit his hated job. Let's say he does it. In ten minutes, he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will have time to rent a room, equip a pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out, he will find a manager’s job anyway, so why regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any meaning at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of the two. It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes such a difficult task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.

The essence of the method: when making a difficult decision, we are usually overwhelmed by emotions: fear, anxiety, or vice versa, joy and excitement. A person feels it right here and now, feelings obscure the prospects for the future before him. Remember, as in Yesenin: “you can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future looks hazy and vague, the decision will be delayed again and again. Making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and ceases to be afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.

See also: Three real stories.

5. Decide within 15 minutes

Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes. A familiar situation: the company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the bottom line is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done nasty things, and it is not clear what to do: to respond in kind or to get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis hit your company, and you are confused: move to a less prestigious place or lay off a dozen employees. How to make the right choice here, and is there one? And you start to pull, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself.

If you do not know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer in this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any decision. Yes, at first glance it may seem nonsense. But what about planning, but what about testing and verifying solutions? OK, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investments check the correctness of the solution - check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately note the time.

The essence of the method: needless to say, if you play for time, nothing is solved: crises do not go away, rental prices do not decrease, and competitors become even more toothy. One unaccepted decision drags others along, the business sags and becomes inefficient. As the saying goes, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.

6. Go beyond narrow limits

The same as what we wrote at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of the two, hit or miss, oh, was not! But who said that the problem has only two solutions? Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation wider. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option, to apply disciplinary measures to the offending employee for the first time.

The essence of the method: when there are only two solutions, there is more chance to choose the right solution, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: do not be afraid to look her in the eye and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in management activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This will be the best solution to the problem.

Throughout their lives, every person often has to make an important decision. He also faces the need to choose throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy home, what series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such minor everyday issues can put a person in front of a choice, the result of which may depend on mood or even fate.

Big and small problems

If you understand it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choices. Well, if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color tie goes best with a shirt ... Such trifles usually do not leave a trace in the memory. Another thing is when a person's future life is decided from a choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether it is worth connecting fate with a person you like or investing in a business. In these cases, the issue price is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person runs the risk of being left without lunch, then here the retribution for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.

For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and his ability to resolve the situation.

Why is it important to make a quick decision?

Every person wants something more in this life: build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have a beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - take it and do it. But there is a small nuance: the possibilities have become so extensive that a person is lost in front of a choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go to the designated goal. Therefore, before making the right decision, it is necessary to analyze and weigh everything well. Today our world is arranged in such a way that not "big eats small", but "agile eats slow". Speed is everything. A small, but actively developing firm can suddenly absorb a clumsy giant.

In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help overcome doubts and make the right decision.

Time to choose

If you have time to think about each question, then you should consider each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. The more versions, the more chances to find the best option. You can even write down different situations and their possible solutions on paper. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think everything over.

In fact, choice is a unique property of a person that nature has given him. With it, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make a choice himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means that he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps to make the right decision and how to take an important step?

Fear of failure

When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failures, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, this is the moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before you quickly make the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.

In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will tell about it in different ways.

The world through the prism of beliefs

We see our world through the lens of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is needed. Based on this, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one should not give up, one should not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the situation. “I can't do anything. I am a small person. I have nothing but work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent me from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in myself, depriving me of a choice. Due to such blockages, important information does not reach our consciousness, we simply reject it.

Is there a choice?

Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But how it will be, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened like that”, “I couldn’t restrain myself”. In other words, a person himself does not understand how he did this or that action, and as a result he cannot realize the consequences.

In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform competent actions in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, knowing not only ourselves, but also the world around us. A clear and precise understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis of an effective choice.

Right Criteria

The main question today, which many people ask themselves: "How to get out of this or that situation?" Experts are sure that there is always a way out if we set the right criteria, which we determine for ourselves.

For example, if a woman wants to create a harmonious relationship and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, swarthy, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only the external forms of the goal. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to established criteria, but how to understand if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.

The main criteria for the right choice

For the right choice, the task should be filled with many sub-items: what kind of relationship do you want, what kind of chosen one should be in character. And this goal must be carried in your heart and understand that it is you who are worthy of it. By no means can there be any doubt. You need to believe that a worthy person will definitely meet on your way. It is important to look at inner qualities: will it be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and peace, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.

In a trap

Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require balanced decisions, which you need to be prepared for. And it depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The biggest mistake people make is an outburst of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any impasse requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and a person drives himself into a trap. No need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But as they say, you learn from your mistakes. And that's the kind of experience that wisdom brings.

Choice without lot

How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs all the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing arguments in the form of a table. But what if the result is a proportion of 50x50? How to find the right solution to the problem without resorting to the services of lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:

When making a choice, you should look a few steps ahead: what results this or that result will lead to. The only right decision should come consciously, after carefully weighing all the possible consequences.

Desperate situations

Surely each of us faced unforeseen situations that required an immediate decision: someone managed to accept them, and someone did not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and missteps, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. The main mistake of many people is unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave because of fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so that later you do not pay the price for ignorance and ignorance.

How to make the right decision

There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, before making the right decision, it is necessary to remain calm. After all, it depends on how the problem is solved. Collect your thoughts, look into the subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of this situation. And what solution comes to mind first, this is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, because being in an unbalanced state, you can make rash choices.

So what helps you make the right decision? These are life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconsciousness, situation analysis and logical thinking.