Human sensitivity: accept cannot be fought. Sensitivity sensitive

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“When I was in kindergarten, a boy from my group threw my favorite book from the balcony,” says 20-year-old Anna. “I remember crying terribly—not because of the book, but because I hated this boy.” The main sign of hypersensitivity is strong emotions that can arise due to the most insignificant reasons.

Some of us are simply more acutely aware of everything that happens to us, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. According to psychologist Elaine Aron, there are approximately 20% of hypersensitive people in society. This means that one or more of your acquaintances, friends or loved ones is most likely one of them.

Here's what to remember when dealing with hypersensitive people. Elaine Aron is a psychologist, author of the book “Highly Sensitive Nature. How to succeed in a crazy world" (ABC-Atticus, 2014).

1. They cry often

Highly sensitive people may cry when they are happy, sad or irritated. This doesn't mean they feel bad. They just experience everything that happens to them very intensely, and tears help provide emotional release.

2. They are not necessarily introverted.

Introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. In fact, as Elaine Aron discovered, 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts. They often require even more attention because they have difficulty regulating their emotional state, are more dependent on others, and may experience a kind of intoxication from impressions.

3. They get nervous when they have to make a decision.

The ability to quickly and confidently make decisions is not the strongest trait of hypersensitive people. Even when it comes to such banal things as choosing a cafe for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid of making the wrong choice: suddenly the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and their companion will not like it there.

4. They react to the slightest changes

“If you are used to ending messages with a smiley, but this time you put an end to it, rest assured: we will definitely note this,” says Anna. “And we’ll probably start to get nervous.” Hypersensitive people tend to be very sensitive to what is happening in their environment and instantly notice when something is not going as usual.

5. They are always willing to listen.

If you need a friendly shoulder, you can safely turn to them. Hypersensitive people can make small talk, but they do best in the role of attentive listener. You can be sure that they will not interrupt you, become distracted or change the subject.

6. They hate noise and loud sounds.

A train at high speed, car horns, overly sociable colleagues... All this not only irritates us - we suffer, as if every sound is hammered into our heads. According to Elaine Aron, it's all about a reduced threshold of sensitivity, due to which any stimulus is felt more strongly.

7. Their work habits are quite unusual.

The ideal option is to work at home or in any quiet place. This allows you to concentrate and keep your nerves in order. “Hypersensitive people take advantage of their powers of observation,” says Elaine Aron. “They know how to think through ideas and then present them in a way that will be taken seriously.” Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people's comments make them excellent teammates (as long as they are not given responsibility for making major decisions).

8. They don't like to get on their nerves.

A horror film or thriller is not the best choice if you want to invite a hypersensitive person to the cinema. The tendency to empathize, combined with increased sensitivity to emotionally charged images, can cause shock in them.

9. They don't take criticism well.

Avoidance of anything that may cause too much stimulation is a hallmark of hypersensitive people. As a result, they try to do everything possible to avoid hurting the feelings of others or causing their displeasure.

10. They take everything personally

When communicating with hypersensitive people, avoid ridicule. Of course, they themselves may love good jokes and try to approach life with humor, but even a hint that there might be something wrong with them makes them nervous.

11. They are very sensitive to pain

Pain is also a type of stimulation. It is not surprising that hypersensitive people perceive it more acutely. Elaine Aron's research has confirmed that highly sensitive people have a low pain threshold, and the anticipation of pain (for example, in the dentist's office) can make them feel it even when no one is touching them.

12. They dream of deep relationships.

Hypersensitive people find it difficult to make new acquaintances. Stress from uncertainty, anticipation of possible awkwardness, painful guessing of what the interlocutor is thinking, all this tires them. Highly sensitive people strive to find a reliable, empathetic partner with whom they can relax and who they can completely trust.

13. They can't change it about themselves.

Hypersensitivity is not just a quirk or character flaw. Elaine Aron found that areas of the brain associated with empathy and cognition were more activated in hypersensitive people when they were shown photographs of faces with traces of strong emotions. In other words, this behavior is biologically programmed.

If there is a hypersensitive person in your environment, try to be sensitive to him. Most likely, he himself understands his own characteristics well, so he behaves carefully and helpfully. But he expects understanding from you too.

I periodically experience “psychological hunger” when my brain demands to read some psychological literature. Recently I had such a crisis again :) And I started browsing the relevant sites. I came across one of the Western ones, dedicated to psychology. There, an article about highly sensitive people caught my attention. I started reading it and realized that it was very, very close to me. All my life I thought that this sensitivity was simply the result of a nervous disorder. But no! :) For crazy people like me, they came up with a name - “highly sensitive people”.

Gifts, also the positive sides:

1. Sensitivity to detail
One of the most noticeable abilities of highly sensitive people is the richness of their sensory perception of the world around them. The smallest details of texture in clothing, ingredients in cooking, the sound of music or even traffic or human conversation, smells and colors are all things that highly sensitive people perceive more strongly than other people.

I periodically get hung up on different shades of color :) I like dark blue, then marsh, then sea green :) It’s better not to start talking about music at all. In my opinion, this is the most brilliant invention of the human mind and heart! Music can convey everything - all emotions and experiences! But, by the way, not everyone knows how to do this. Sometimes a singer comes on stage, sings a song, sings well, and you feel neither warm nor cold from his performance, because he came out and just worked the number, hit all the notes, didn’t go out of tune, and smiled. And sometimes he’ll come out and fake it, but he’ll sing in such a way that for no apparent reason you start crying. It's the same with studio recordings. Sometimes you listen to the original and a cover, and the cover touches you much more than the original, but sometimes it’s the other way around :)

2. Semantic nuances
Highly sensitive people also have the ability to understand the subtle nuances of things, they are more cautious in their actions and more careful in considering different options and possible consequences.

When choosing different options for “what to do,” scenarios of consequences scroll through my head, both 5 minutes in advance and 50 years in advance.

3.Emotional awareness
Such people are more aware of their internal state than others. And this creates the basis for richer and deeper work as writers, musicians, actors and other creative professions.
A strong response to pain, discomfort, and exercise may indicate that such individuals at least have the potential to take better care of their own health.

I periodically try to explain to people around me why something is happening to me. And it turns out to be so difficult!

4. Creativity
Psychologist Elaine Eron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, writes that about 20% of people are highly sensitive, and 70% of those twenty are introverts, which contributes to creativity. Many great actors are quite shy in life.

I don’t know about introvert/extrovert. Of course, I don’t hide in a corner, and if I see that there is someone to communicate with, I will do it quite actively, but I won’t open my soul to everyone, because practice shows that people are self-absorbed most of the time and are of little interest in someone else’s soul. :) But being creative is always welcome :)))

5. Deep empathic understanding
High sensitivity to the emotions of other people can be a powerful tool for all professionals whose work is directly related to people (executives, personnel managers, teachers, psychologists, psychotherapists, etc.).

In general, empathic understanding is not the result of intellectual effort. Essentially, this is the ability to “get into someone else’s skin.” Many experts consider empathy to be an innate property that is genetically determined. An individual's life experiences can only strengthen or weaken it. Empathy depends on the accessibility and richness of life experience, the accuracy of perception, and the ability to tune in while listening to the interlocutor, on the same emotional wavelength as him.

Curses, also the negative sides:

1. Get overwhelmed easily
The biggest problem of highly sensitive people is vulnerability to sensory and emotional overwhelm. Collecting and processing such a large amount of information from the external and internal world can sometimes become excessive and result in pain, mental exhaustion, stress, anxiety and other similar reactions.

Well, for me this is often a consequence of point 4 (perfectionism)

2. Are influenced by other people's feelings
The other side of sensitivity is reacting to the emotions and thoughts of other people. Being around angry people, for example, can cause highly sensitive people a lot of stress.

This is truly a “curse”! If I start communicating quite closely with a person and open up to him, I automatically begin to read and partially take away his mood. It happens, it seems like I got up on the wrong foot, everything is fine, but I talked to someone who is in a bad mood and that’s it - my mood is spoiled too!

3. The need for a lot of time and a lot of space for yourself.
These people sometimes need time to “step back” and “recover emotionally,” even if this is not always good for their goals or personal growth.

This is exactly what I am doing now:) “Emotional recovery”. And as for space - in the conditions of the capital this is unrealistic :)

4. Unhealthy perfectionism
Overthinking and overanalyzing lead to unhealthy perfectionism or stress reactions over various issues that are perceived as “too much” or “wrong.”

I'm trying to fight him. Sometimes it even works out.

5. Living out of sync with our culture
Modern culture dictates to us that it is normal to be an extrovert, sociable and friendly, but not a highly sensitive introvert.

Sensitive

adj., used compare often

Morphology: sensitive, sensitive, sensitive, sensitive; more sensitive; adv. sensitive

1. In the human body sensitive is called something that has the ability to perceive external, physical stimuli.

Sensitive cells. | Sensory nerve endings.

2. Sensitive These are parts of the body, organs that have a painfully increased ability to perceive physical, chemical, energetic, etc. influences from the outside world and respond to them.

Eyes are sensitive to harsh light. | The most sensitive place of the body. | Sensitive skin requires special care.

3. Sensitive a device is a technical device that is capable of very subtly reflecting, recording and transforming minor influences and environmental influences (light, temperature fluctuations, humidity, etc.).

Sensitive device. | Sensitive microphone. | Sensitive element. | Sensitive antenna, membrane.

4. Sensitive call a material, a substance that reacts to the influence of the external environment by changing its structure, its composition, etc.

Sensitive photographic films. | Experts from a university in Shanghai have invented a sensitive paint that reacts to the air temperature outside the window.

5. Sensitive they call someone who is capable of vividly feeling and compassion.

Sensitive to people's suffering. | Sensitive heart. | The child was not sensitive and rarely cried. | Sensitive and kind old man.

6. Sensitive They call such works that affect a person’s feelings and are sentimental.

Sensitive songs. | Sensitive romance.

7. Sensitive they call something that is significant, powerful, effective in its manifestation.

Sensitive deficiency. | Cause sensitive damage. | Sensitive assistance to the family. | Enterprise competition has become sensitive.

sensitivity noun, and.

Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Dmitriev. D. V. Dmitriev. 2003.

Synonyms:

See what “sensitive” is in other dictionaries:

Sensitive... Spelling dictionary-reference book

SENSITIVE, sensitive, sensitive; sensitive, sensitive, sensitive. 1. Capable of vividly feeling, perceiving, having developed feelings, impressionable. “He was kind and sensitive, but cold and somewhat arrogant... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

Sensitive, receptive, impressionable, responsive, subtle, scrupulous; tactile, perceptive, significant, touchy. Wed. grateful, kind, decent... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. By … Synonym dictionary

sensitive- SENSITIVE, oh, oh. Joking. Excellent, high quality. Sensitive areas here. Sensitive swimsuit. Sensitive chebureks... Dictionary of Russian argot

sensitive- SENSITIVE, heart-warming, melodramatic, sentimental, tearful, touching, colloquial. heartbreaking, ironic. heart-tugging, emotional SENSITIVE, sentimental... Dictionary-thesaurus of synonyms of Russian speech

SENSITIVE, oh, oh; flax, flax. 1. Having increased susceptibility to external influences and irritations. Sensitive place of the body. 2. transfer Capable of capturing and reflecting external influences and changes. Ch. device. Ch. sensor element.... ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

sensitive- easy to react - [L.G. Sumenko. English-Russian dictionary on information technology. M.: State Enterprise TsNIIS, 2003.] Topics information technology in general Synonyms easily responsive EN responsive ... Technical Translator's Guide

sensitive- terribly sensitive extremely sensitive overly sensitive... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

sensitive- [ust], aya, oh; flax, flax, flax 1) Vividly feeling, perceiving the surroundings, able to easily be moved, feel emotional. Sensitive nature. He was sensitive and even tearful (L. Tolstoy). Synonyms: perceptive/impulsive, impressionable,... ... Popular dictionary of the Russian language

Aya, oh; flax, flax, flax. 1. Able to perceive external, physical irritations. Ch. nerve. W cells. Nerve endings. // Possessing an increased ability to perceive physical irritations. My skin. Who l. sensitive to pain... ... encyclopedic Dictionary

Books

Close to heart. How to live if you are an overly sensitive person, Sand I.. Highly sensitive people, or “new introverts,” are the name given to those who react more sharply than others to noise or fuss, quickly get tired of society and love solitude. These people have a keen sense...

Sensitivity is a wonderful and interesting thing. Sometimes very sensitive people They don't realize how talented they are. It seems impossible to be a real person if you lack sensitivity. According to psychological research, about 20% of the population falls into the category of very sensitive person. At the same time, it is quite difficult for highly sensitive people to be, here are some benefits to being a sensitive person.

1. Caring.

It turns out that sensitive people care more about the world around them. A famous person once said a beautiful quote that seems to become the motto of all sensitive people, “The more you care, the stronger you can be.” Very sensitive people are not indifferent to homeless animals.

2. Sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Sensitivity to other people's emotions can be an important asset for you. But it is important to be aware of the negative energy and negative influence that comes from angry people. You need to be careful about others' feelings because you don't know how a worried person feels. Sensitive people are always in harmony with others. I think everyone dreams of having such a skill.

3. Sensitivity and creativity.

If you are a sensitive person, you can be a creative person. Creativity can manifest itself in different areas. Many sensitive people are introverts, and this trait can also stimulate creativity. Such people have a unique point of view and a creative view of the world.

4. Intuitive nature.

It is important to love your intuitive and feel good about this gift. Intuition is your inner guide that will help you get the full picture of your actions. This deep connection with the spiritual world will teach you to understand people in a completely different light. In addition, intuitive people cope with problems more effectively, which makes them more resilient to stress.

5. You are not a fake person.

I have noticed that all sensitive people are genuine by nature. They don't have fake faces. Sincerity is the main trait of their character. These open people always try to do everything to make people around them feel comfortable.

6. Selflessness.

Sensitive people have no selfishness. The most sensitive people spend a lot of time caring for others. In addition, they have a great sense of responsibility towards others. Empathy is a wonderful thing that is valued by others.

7. In touch with the inner world.

Sensitive people usually have a special perspective and sense of a situation. They often pay great attention to their inner voice and try not to ignore it. If you are a sensitive person, then you are in touch with your emotions and inner self. As a result, you are more careful in making decisions.

I hope these tips will help you and your friends and family better understand and accept each other. Being sensitive has both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, there are more advantages. Sensitive people usually become enriched people and they are very kind.

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Do you like going to the movies and going on vacation alone? Do you need your own space even in the bedroom? Then these tips are for you. During my practice, I have met many people with high levels of sensitivity (I call them emotional empaths) who have difficulties in close relationships, says Judith Orloff 1. These are kind, decent, sincere people who want to find their soul mate, but at the same time remain lonely for years.

In a state of love, we are immersed in a feeling of unity and intimacy with a partner and draw strength from this, but for empaths, too intense a connection, without the opportunity to be alone (and this is how they restore strength) is extremely difficult. This doesn't mean they love less. On the contrary, sometimes they understand their loved ones without words and live all the nuances of their experiences together.

These people seem to touch an object with fifty fingers, while everyone else needs only five

Figuratively speaking, these people seem to touch an object with fifty fingers, while everyone else needs only five. Therefore, they need more time to restore internal balance.

Many of them fear that they will be misunderstood by a loved one. After all, the increased need for separate space is sometimes read by others as detachment and disinterest in relationships. And this misunderstanding is a disaster both for them and for their potential partners. Let me give some advice to sensitive people for building relationships.

Be honest

Be open and explain that you often need privacy. When you turn off your phone and step away from communication for a while, there is nothing personal about it. This is due to the peculiarities of your nature, and your partner is just as dear to you at these moments. Your attitude towards him is unchanged.

Time to sleep

Empathic people may not always sleep in the same bed as their partner. And again, nothing personal: their space is simply extremely important to them, even at night. Otherwise, they will not get enough sleep and sleeping together with a loved one will turn into torture. Have an honest conversation with your partner about this and discuss your options.

Territory of silence

The decision to live together is a serious step that tests the strength of many alliances. Especially if one of the partners is in such dire need of his territory. Think about where you might be able to retire and discuss this with your partner. Perhaps you would like to “disappear” into a separate room or garage from time to time. If the apartment space is small, this could be your table separated by a screen. When there is no such place, retire to the bathroom. Turn on the water and give yourself time - even five to ten minutes will help restore strength. It is important that your partner accepts this desire of yours without offense.

On a journey

People are often surprised that anyone would choose to travel alone. Most people like to share impressions and experiences with someone. Those who like to travel independently often turn out to be emotional empaths. Traveling together, when another person, even a dearly loved one, is nearby for 24 hours, becomes a test for them. Try to discuss this with your partner so that he doesn’t hold a grudge against you if one day you want to have breakfast alone. Or don’t join him on one of the excursions.

In couples where these psychological characteristics are respected, happy and long-term relationships are created.

1 U. Orloff, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (Three Rivers Press, 2010).