People who pretend to work. How to create the appearance of hectic activity at work
How to Effectively Pretend You're Working Hard
1. Never leave the office without papers in your hands. People with papers give the impression of being hard workers. Empty-handed people look as if they are going to the cafeteria or to smoke. A person holding a newspaper is most likely heading to the toilet. In addition, try to take more papers home to create the impression that you are working there too.
2. Computers provide the impression of being busy. If you use a computer, to an outside observer it looks like work. You can read personal mail, chat or scroll through news feeds. If your boss catches you doing this, explain that you are learning new professional knowledge, saving the company the cost of training.
3. Debris on the table. Only top management can have a clean desk. For everyone else, this is a sign that they are doing nothing. Place thick stacks of documents all over your desk. From the outside, last year's documents look the same as current ones - it is the volume that is important.
4. Autoresponder. Never answer the phone if you have an answering machine. People don't call to ask about your health - they call to get you to DO something. This will not work. Listen to your answering machine from time to time, and if someone leaves you a message with a potential job increase, call them back during a break when they are definitely not available and leave a message on the answering machine.
5. Look irritated. Always try to look irritated - it gives the impression that you have a problem.
6. Leave work late. Always try to leave work later, especially when your boss hasn't left yet. On your way home, be sure to pass by your boss's office. Send him important emails after hours (10:10 p.m., 7:05 a.m.) and on weekends and holidays.
7. Improve your vocabulary. Read new computer magazines and choose unknown words. Use them freely in speech when talking with your superiors. Remember: He doesn't have to understand you, but it will sound impressive.
8. Have 2 jackets. If you work in a large office, always leave a spare jacket on the back of your chair. It gives the impression that you are somewhere here and have stepped away for a moment. Wear a second jacket when you are walking or solving personal problems during work hours.
6 methods of personnel control
1. Department heads provide a report every week. An employee in any position can be lazy. The company had the head of the sales department, who regularly missed the deadlines for assigned tasks, declaring regular employment (working with the exposition, meeting with clients, etc.). Then I decided to approve the need for him to report every week. This approach to monitoring his work allowed us to understand that his constant employment consisted of doing only a few things, for which he had little time. The employee was simply lazy to do everything necessary in his work. As a result, we simply had to part with him.
This control principle has proven effective in practice. Therefore, I decided to use it for all managers - each boss must submit his reports every week. Weekly monitoring of staff performance is based on this principle. We have a regulated reporting form that managers need to fill out in the corporate system. Thanks to this solution, we were able to achieve significant time savings.
Sometimes situations arise when managers try to unsubscribe, reporting not about the final result, but about the process itself. The reason for this decision is quite simple - there are no results that managers can boast about. But I made it a rule for myself not to accept such reports; they must be redone, indicating clear wording.
Motivating sales managers: useful tips for managers
2. Working with the CRM system. Monitoring the work of personnel in the wholesale sales department and stores is based on working with a CRM system, the functionality of which supports maintaining statistics on the daily work of each manager. Thanks to this systematization of data, we can at any time get acquainted with information about the work of managers - the number of meetings with clients, whom the manager called, with whom the meeting was agreed upon. But you don’t need to analyze all the relevant data every day (or even weekly). I constantly monitor only those employees who regularly do not fulfill the established plan or when their performance indicators have decreased over the past few months. In this case, we need to understand the causes of this problem and ensure control over the work of personnel.
3. Video surveillance. To maintain a consistently high level of labor productivity in the stores of our network, the installation of video cameras was also provided in production. Therefore, if we wish, we can always control what each employee is currently doing. We informed all employees about the fact of video surveillance (this fact is regulated by the employment contract).
In addition, the presence of video cameras is useful not only for management, but also for employees. For example, in cases of inappropriate behavior of the client or claims from the client, the employee can confirm that he is right thanks to video evidence.
We did not hire an employee who would watch what was happening on video cameras in real time. To monitor the activities of employees, the heads of several departments (including the customer service quality control department, the human resources department) once a month selectively review various recordings from video cameras.
4. Labor rationing. To assess the workload of workers in our production, we use the principle of working day photography. For this purpose, once every six months (we constantly continue modernization to speed up the process), personnel department employees record every action of the employee, as well as the time required for this. The output provides fairly accurate data, but an important nuance should be taken into account - it is not always possible to achieve objectivity.
Indeed, with a constant feeling of control over one’s actions, a person strives to act more actively, trying to complete his tasks as quickly as possible. However, it is simply impossible to maintain a high pace of work every day. Therefore, when setting standards, we necessarily take this factor into account. When the results of the next timing significantly exceed the current standard, we change it (reducing the time to complete this operation). If there is a slight deviation, no changes are made to our standard.
Also, such timing helps us identify and optimize processes with maximum duration. For example, the time it takes a warehouse employee to ship goods depends on the weight and volume of products, the number of assortment items and other factors. Thanks to the use of barcoding, we have been able to significantly simplify the search for the necessary products. In 8 hours, employees will be able to cope with a volume of work that previously might have required 16-24 hours. Another important benefit of the new method is the increased status and prestige of our employees’ work. If previously they were loaders, then thanks to the introduction of this innovation they became order pickers.
An alternative to the method of photographing a working day in the work of store employees is the use of a CRM system. Employees of our HR department regularly compare the performance of all sellers in our stores (number of meetings, calls, shipments, invoices issued and other parameters). Based on the data received, our HR staff makes appropriate adjustments to the current standards for sellers.
5. Organization of competitions for staff. Holding competitions for production employees (on whom the speed and quality of order fulfillment depends) and sellers (on whom profits depend) becomes an excellent means of motivating and monitoring staff. We organize similar competitions every month. Thanks to such competitions, a person will be able to compare his achievements and results with the activities of his colleagues. In addition, many find it rather awkward when they find out that they are working mediocrely compared to others and without proper activity.
Seller competitions. Competitions “Best Sales Department Employee” and “Best Salon” are regularly organized for our sellers. There are various criteria for determining the winners of our competitions - based on the quality of customer service, the total number of sales, fulfillment of the plan for calling customers, the number of sales of their products on special offers (in particular, discontinued products). The results of our competitions are announced every month, on the 10th. When evaluating the results of competitions, we take as a basis the information provided in the CRM system. We also take into account customer ratings (they can be rated on a 10-point scale). Our customer service quality control employees collect such ratings. Then the training center creates ratings of workers and salons. The commission determines the winners of the competition. Then we post data on the competitions held on our internal company portal.
For the best salon, we provide a diploma, a sweet prize (for example, a designer cake) and a challenge cup. Typically, these awards are received by the store manager during the board meeting. A pleasant and useful tradition in our work is organizing a tea party in the winning salon. There is also an award for the best salesperson in our network and employees of the best sales division.
Competitions in production. Every day, employees of our dispatch service record the amount of output of all employees, and then these statistics are transmitted to the workshop manager for consideration. He creates a rating for the month and displays it in a prominent place in the production workshop. We have not forgotten about the importance of material incentives for employees - the monthly output of employees directly affects the size of their salary, and an additional bonus from our company is provided for frontline workers.
Competitions for warehouse workers and assemblers. Our personnel management service evaluates the quality of work of storekeepers on a quarterly basis. To evaluate the work of loaders, the speed of completing the necessary tasks is taken into account; the main criterion for our assemblers is the volume completed. The salary of these employees consists of a salary and a bonus, but the best employees based on quarterly results can also count on an additional bonus.
Material motivation of personnel. Advice from the General Director
6. Revealing the best and the worst. Our training center compiles a list of the worst performers every day, after which appropriate measures are planned. In particular, an employee can be sent to learn the necessary skills and knowledge, and a mentor can be assigned to him to supervise the work of his mentee. In such a situation, we also communicate with the immediate superiors of the employee. If we are regularly included in the list of worst employees, we are forced to part with this person.
6 ideas to keep employees interested in work
Choose people who are passionate about the cause. For each position in our company there is a specific test task proposed at the selection stage. This approach allows us to ensure in a timely manner that an employee is sufficiently competent and motivated to work in our company. The proposed test tasks in our company vary, depending on the specific position and assigned tasks. In particular, when searching for the head of the Internet projects department, we offered a test task in the form of an audit of our company’s website. Some decided to abandon this task, others coped with this task rather superficially. One of the candidates for this position not only gave a detailed analysis, but also indicated a set of recommendations for improving the site. Such passion for his work won us over, so the employee was invited to the position.
New equipment, introduction of beautiful job titles. Several years ago, our company carried out a technical re-equipment of its production, with the automation of many work processes and the acquisition of new equipment. Now it is much more pleasant for people to work, and the efficiency of their work has increased significantly. After all, it is much more comfortable to work with modern equipment, in a clean workplace, with maximum automation - a minimum of work operations is enough. In addition, the job titles of employees have changed; now they sound much more beautiful and prestigious.
Participation of employees in interesting projects. In our work we regularly offer interesting projects in the areas of marketing and production. They involve employees from different departments, including in ordinary positions. Everyone has the right to become part of the project team - all you need to do is fill out an application on the company’s corporate portal or inform your immediate supervisor about it. For example, an analysis of corporate statistics showed that customers often ask some of the same questions regarding one of our product collections. Then sellers were able to participate in a project on assortment policy in order to significantly improve their interaction with customers in this area.
Temporary staff during peak season. The CRM system allows you to understand the workload of your salespeople and production to maintain the optimal number of employees. When demand increases, we hire temporary staff in advance so as not to force our full-time employees to work tiresomely. Otherwise, even an enthusiastic full-time employee may lose his interest in work.
Training in related professions in production. We offer all our employees the opportunity to study in a related specialty. In particular, the varnishing and dyeing operator has the opportunity to train as a specialist in woodworking machines and a sander. The internship can take place during working hours - during this period the employee is relieved of his direct duties. After completing the training course, we assign a mentor to the student. Thanks to such a training program, workers have the opportunity to expand their professional skills and identify for themselves the tasks that they will be most interested in performing. While studying, our employee's salary remains the same.
Employees are involved in solving current problems. Before making a decision, we invite our employees to participate in drawing up an action plan. A person needs to understand that management will hear and consider his every proposal. For example, when a large number of products accumulate in a warehouse that are not in consumer demand. Our company has already stopped producing these products, but the remainder needs to be sold. To solve the problem, they decided to hold a competition among salon managers and sellers to see who would come up with the best idea for selling the remaining stock as quickly as possible. At first it may seem that it is impossible to come up with fundamentally new solutions, but the result convinced us - we received 10 interesting and effective proposals. A bonus was provided for the authors of several of the ideas we selected, but the company also received a significant benefit - with the successful sale of products accumulated in the warehouse.
If we manage to implement at least a few of the ideas we have proposed in the company’s work to maintain employees’ interest in their tasks, then it will be possible to minimize all personnel control. 
The main business of your life
Any trifle can become a problem.
You just have to firmly believe
There is no more important matter.
And then it won't hurt
You are neither cold nor hot,
Choking with delight,
Do nonsense.
Grigory Oster
Try going into any important office building, into the office of any important company. And you will see that everyone there is certainly busy with important things. But at the same time, for some reason, despite being so busy, deadlines are running out, employees stay overnight in offices, startups don’t take off, and ideas remain just ideas.
But at the same time, everyone is very, very busy. Yes! And don't you dare disturb them! But there is a suspicion that everyone is simply successfully faking the number of tasks in their work schedule. How to do it? As easy as pie.
Bad advice #1. Never walk around the office without documents in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like very busy workers, heading, for example, to some important meeting.
Empty-handed people look like they're idly wandering toward the cafeteria, coffee machine, or office smoking room.
People holding a newspaper look like they are heading to the toilet.
And for a “control shot,” make sure you take a lot of paperwork home with you—this makes it seem like you’re working much more than fits into your standard work schedule.
Bad advice number 2. Use your computer to look busy
Every time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. At the same time, you can do whatever you want - check your personal mail, chat, look through friends’ feeds on social networks... whatever you want, just not work!
And if your manager suddenly catches you off guard (and he will definitely catch you doing this), you can justify yourself by saying that you are testing new software or reading an article about how being active on social networks has a positive effect on sales or company image even now What you do is read and learn to work with it yourself, thereby saving the company money on special training.
Senior management must leave with a clean desk - this is a sign that they are doing a good job with management. If an ordinary employee has an orderly desk, it means he is not busy with anything.
If your desk is littered with documents, it means you are working hard. And the more rubble there is, the more things you have to do. If you know in advance that your employee should approach you for a certain document, put it at the very bottom of the existing pile of papers and look for it for a long time.
Never answer the phone if you have an answering machine. People don't call you just because they want to give you something. Most often, your employees or bosses call you because they want you to do their work for them.
If someone left you a message at work, call back at lunchtime. Firstly, you are unlikely to catch anyone on the spot. And, secondly, in this way you will show what a busy and conscientious employee you are.
If you are constantly in a hurry to get somewhere, pushing everyone on with or without reason, this creates the impression that you are swamped with work and only have time to clear out rubble after rubble.
Always stay at work until late. Especially if your boss is in the office. In this case, it is not necessary to work at all. You can read an RSS feed or a magazine that you still haven’t gotten around to.
When leaving work, walk past the management office and make sure you have been seen.
Send work emails after hours (early morning or late evening) and on holidays and weekends.
Sigh as loudly as possible when there are as many people around you as possible. Sigh as if it’s very, very difficult for you and you are in constant stress.
A clutter of documents on your desktop may not be enough. Also place stacks of books and folders on the floor!
Learn the latest fancy and complex computer lingo and use that jargon when talking to management. And it is not at all necessary that you be understood. The main thing is to sound smart and pathetic.
And most importantly, try not to get caught and under no circumstances accidentally forward the link to this article to your boss!
The main business of your life
Any trifle can become a problem.
You just have to firmly believe
There is no more important matter.
And then it won't hurt
You are neither cold nor hot,
Choking with delight,
Do nonsense.
Grigory Oster
Try going into any important office building, into the office of any important company. And you will see that everyone there is certainly busy with important things. But at the same time, for some reason, despite being so busy, deadlines are running out, employees stay overnight in offices, startups don’t take off, and ideas remain just ideas.
But at the same time, everyone is very, very busy. Yes! And don't you dare disturb them! But there is a suspicion that everyone is simply successfully faking the number of tasks in their work schedule. How to do it? As easy as pie.
Bad advice #1. Never walk around the office without documents in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like very busy workers, heading, for example, to some important meeting.
Empty-handed people look like they're idly wandering toward the cafeteria, coffee machine, or office smoking room.
People holding a newspaper look like they are heading to the toilet.
And for a “control shot,” make sure you take a lot of paperwork home with you—this makes it seem like you’re working much more than fits into your standard work schedule.
Bad advice number 2. Use your computer to look busy
Every time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. At the same time, you can do whatever you want - check your personal mail, chat, look through friends’ feeds on social networks... whatever you want, just not work!
And if your manager suddenly catches you off guard (and he will definitely catch you doing this), you can justify yourself by saying that you are testing new software or reading an article about how being active on social networks has a positive effect on sales or company image even now What you do is read and learn to work with it yourself, thereby saving the company money on special training.
Senior management must leave with a clean desk - this is a sign that they are doing a good job with management. If an ordinary employee has an orderly desk, it means he is not busy with anything.
If your desk is littered with documents, it means you are working hard. And the more rubble there is, the more things you have to do. If you know in advance that your employee should approach you for a certain document, put it at the very bottom of the existing pile of papers and look for it for a long time.
Never answer the phone if you have an answering machine. People don't call you just because they want to give you something. Most often, your employees or bosses call you because they want you to do their work for them.
If someone left you a message at work, call back at lunchtime. Firstly, you are unlikely to catch anyone on the spot. And, secondly, in this way you will show what a busy and conscientious employee you are.
If you are constantly in a hurry to get somewhere, pushing everyone on with or without reason, this creates the impression that you are swamped with work and only have time to clear out rubble after rubble.
Always stay at work until late. Especially if your boss is in the office. In this case, it is not necessary to work at all. You can read an RSS feed or a magazine that you still haven’t gotten around to.
When leaving work, walk past the management office and make sure you have been seen.
Send work emails after hours (early morning or late evening) and on holidays and weekends.
Sigh as loudly as possible when there are as many people around you as possible. Sigh as if it’s very, very difficult for you and you are in constant stress.
A clutter of documents on your desktop may not be enough. Also place stacks of books and folders on the floor!
Learn the latest fancy and complex computer lingo and use that jargon when talking to management. And it is not at all necessary that you be understood. The main thing is to sound smart and pathetic.
And most importantly, try not to get caught and under no circumstances accidentally forward the link to this article to your boss!
Of course, we are all sure that the ideal employee should be efficient and work tirelessly and without raising his head, all 8 hours of the working day, stopping only for lunch. At least that's what our bosses think. But you and I understand that sometimes you are too lazy or sometimes you feel unwell, and the thought of work is the last thing that comes to mind. But you can’t just disappear from the office, saying goodbye: “I’m tired, I’m leaving,” just as you shouldn’t sit there with an absent look - they’ll immediately decide that you have too little work to do and throw in a couple more tasks. It’s better to pretend that you are actively working. But read our article about how to create the appearance of vigorous activity.
Someone will decide that our recommendations are more similar to the harmful advice of Grigory Oster. But it’s so boring to live by the rules! Sometimes we, adults and serious people, want to be a little weird. So why not relax for once and not show off your boss and other colleagues by pretending that you are working hard, while you yourself spit at the ceiling? The main thing is not to get too carried away with such a game, so as not to end up losing your job. In general, experiment, relax, but know when to stop.
If the boss is not standing behind you and does not see what is happening on your monitor screen, then you can at least play solitaire, the main thing is to do it with a smart look. Just watch out for the frequent “clack” of the mouse buttons, sometimes this is what gives away the unlucky lover of “Mineweeper” and “Klondike”.
Watch for the frequent “clack” of the mouse buttons, sometimes this is what gives away the unlucky lover of “Mineweeper” and “Klondike”.
Don't let yourself be exposed
Just in case, before starting the next game of solitaire, open several work documents and fold them so that at any time you can quickly unfold an important letter and pretend that you have been thinking about how to write it correctly for half an hour. Who would have thought that you were just moving virtual cards from place to place? What are you talking about? It's even kind of offensive!
Be nervous and tense
At least externally. Act as if your thoughts are constantly busy with work, as if you are thinking about some important task of the boss and are rooting for your soul. his success. Management is much calmer if it sees that the subordinate is completely and completely absorbed in work.
Acting data
In addition to an intelligent look and a tense appearance, you will also need the ability to sigh theatrically heavily, ruffling your hair as if you are trying to cope with some very difficult task, and you just can’t. Check it - it works.
Listen carefully to your colleagues
Or pretend to listen. When colleagues discuss work issues, take part in the conversation as a free listener. You may be thinking about something of your own: planning a shopping list at the grocery store or even imagining that you are lying on the seashore under the warm rays of the sun, but from the outside it will look like you are very interested in knowing the opinions of others regarding the current situation in the company.
When colleagues discuss work issues, take part in the conversation as a free listener.
Leave later than others
Of course, if you have no plans for the evening. Some workers simply love to be alone at work in the evenings. They say that they still need to finish some things, but they pour themselves a cup of coffee and watch some interesting movie on a personal laptop or tablet. Others are sure that you work like a bee, and you kill two birds with one stone: create the necessary appearance and simply relax in silence.
Make a mess
But limit yourself to just your desk. “Bury yourself” in a heap of papers, and both the necessary documents that are in work and the drafts on which you are printing something less important are suitable. Just take care not to confuse some sheets with others, otherwise you may get into trouble when it turns out that your boss needs a letter that you just safely threw in the trash.
Find a reason
You shouldn’t leave your workplace every now and then just like that: smoke or if you feel like stretching your legs. People around you will decide that your life is too boring, and will immediately find a lot of ways to keep you busy. If you want to go out, then pretend that someone is calling you on your mobile phone, and you simply cannot talk in front of strangers (personal calls, although not welcome in most companies, still happen). Or you can volunteer to take the documents to the office and take a walk at the same time.
