Destructive criticism is the root of many personality problems and hostile relationships between people. What is constructive criticism

Every day we withstand criticism from numerous people. Behavior, statements, appearance, etc. are evaluated. And this evaluation is not always pleasant. If the meaningful glances of a stranger can be ignored, then the statements of relatives or friends are sometimes perceived very painfully. However, we ourselves also evaluate other people. How to express your opinion correctly so as not to cause negative emotions?

Criticism and its types

Having your own opinion and expressing it out loud is normal. This is what is called criticism. The main thing is how it is presented. Constructive criticism is aimed at being useful, pointing out mistakes and ways to correct them. It is expressed in the form of advice, objective analysis, recommendations. Destructive criticism is also a way to give an assessment, but it does not carry any benefit. This method is used to make a person lose his temper and, under the influence of momentary emotions, abandon his plans.

Principles of constructive criticism

Objectivity. Express your opinion, but do not pretend that it is the only correct one.
Specificity. Focus on specific points rather than on the entire work.
Reasoning. Show what your assessment is based on and justify your opinion.
Experience and practice. Examples from personal life are very illustrative. Tell us how you avoided mistakes or corrected them.
Professionalism. If you are well versed in the issue you are criticizing, then people will listen to you. Otherwise, you risk being branded an amateur.
No personalization. Criticize the work, not the person, show respect for your opponent.
Focus on the positives. When pointing out the shortcomings of the work, do not forget to talk about its advantages.

How to criticize correctly

When you evaluate another person's actions, it is important that he hears what you have to say. The rules of constructive criticism will help with this:

Express your opinion when you are one on one with a person. Respect your opponent, do not make his mistakes public.
Offer options for solving the problem. Help with advice or action, otherwise the meaning of the criticism will be unclear.
Keep calm. The opponent will respond to aggressive statements with aggression.
Evaluate work in a timely manner. If constructive criticism is expressed after a long time, you will be considered a quarrelsome, vindictive person.
Alternate negative moments with praise. The person will feel valued despite the mistakes they have made. He will try to justify the trust and will not make similar mistakes in the future.
Criticism is a dialogue. Let your opponent speak. Perhaps he could not influence the situation that led to the mistakes.
You cannot criticize by referring to others. Be responsible for your words, otherwise you will be accused of spreading gossip.
When the causes of errors and solutions have been found, leave this issue. There is no need to constantly remind your opponent of his mistakes.
If your opponent is irritated and unable to adequately perceive your words, put off the conversation for a while.

Areas of application of constructive criticism

Giving an assessment is not as easy as it seems. Sometimes even a very reserved critic can lose his temper and become overly emotional. But there are areas in which destructive criticism is unacceptable under any circumstances.

The first concerns the leader-subordinate relationship. Using constructive criticism, it is necessary to correct the employee’s actions. Otherwise, the person will perform poorly and will have to be fired.

Another sphere is the educator (parent, teacher) - child. Destructive criticism lowers a little person's self-esteem. If a child is constantly told that he does everything badly, then he grows into a weak, insecure person.

The third area is training. Constructive criticism from the teacher guides the student, helps eliminate mistakes and gain new knowledge. A negative assessment has the opposite effect - the desire to learn disappears, knowledge is not absorbed.

Examples of constructive criticism

How easy it is to express your opinion under the influence of emotions... The result of destructive criticism is resentment and unwillingness to listen. But you can say the same thing in different words. Let's look at a few examples.

“What were you thinking when you wrote the report? This is no good! Redo everything immediately!”

Nobody likes a rude boss. It’s better to say about the shortcomings in a different way:

“Ivan Ivanovich, you are a good specialist, but the numbers in the last column of the report are incorrect. Correct them please. I hope you will be more careful next time. Your diligence and responsibility are valuable qualities for our company.”

“Why did you wear this terrible dress? It’s a bad color and hangs on you like a sack.”

After such a phrase, a quarrel with a friend is guaranteed. Better to rephrase:

“I really liked the dress you wore over the weekend. It emphasizes the figure well, and the color suits the face. And this outfit is too pale for you. Besides, you have a beautiful figure, and this dress hides it.”

“Ham! You can’t even put together a few words! You’re talking nonsense!”

A dispute in a work environment will escalate into a quarrel if both opponents are unrestrained. Better to say:

“No need to be rude. I think you should apologize. Next time, don't rush to answer. You are too emotional. First, calm down, consult, then express your opinion.”

How not to respond to criticism

“I was criticized, which means I won’t succeed.” Low self-esteem is the first step to failure. Even if the result of the work done was not ideal, this is not a reason to become despondent. You must always believe in yourself, and criticism will help improve the situation.
“They spoke to me too emotionally, which means I’m doing everything badly.” It is not so much the form of presentation of the assessment that is important, but its content. Both constructive and destructive criticism can be expressed too emotionally. It's all about the person who voices his opinion. Here it is important to discard unnecessary emotions and hear useful recommendations.
“They criticize me. We need to respond urgently." An immediate reaction to an assessment is not always good. If the criticism was destructive, the opponent spoke in a raised tone, then there is a risk that you will be drawn into this emotional state, and the result of communication will be a quarrel. It's better to take a break, calm down and think about your answer.
“If they criticize me, it means they are finding fault.” View other people's appreciation as a help, not as a way to upset you. Criticized? Not scary. Now you know what not to do and will not make mistakes in the future.
“I don’t care if they criticize me.” A lack of response to an assessment is just as bad as an immediate response. Think about what lies behind the criticism? Maybe you are in danger and your opponent is warning you about it.
"I'm upset about the criticism, so I can't do anything." Don't take other people's assessments to heart. Constructive criticism makes it possible to avoid mistakes or correct them. The main thing is to have less emotions when making a decision.
“They criticize me because they don’t like me/they quarreled/they envy me...” Searching for motives can lead to the opposite result. While you are looking for reasons for criticism, time will be lost to correct mistakes. It is more important to understand what they are saying, not why they are doing it.
“Everyone criticizes me because they don’t understand anything.” If different people give the same assessment, think about it, maybe you are doing something wrong.
“They don’t tell me anything, which means I’m doing everything right.” Criticism is not always explicit. For example, a subordinate or unfamiliar person cannot speak out openly. However, some actions or words may be hidden criticism. It is important to see it and take action if common sense prevails in the assessment rather than emotions.

Criticize correctly. But if possible, it is better to refrain from speaking out. Criticism can hurt and destroy good relationships.

What is constructive and destructive criticism? How to express your opinion without offending someone? Or, conversely, how do we understand that the opinion expressed by another person is constructive criticism, and not a desire to assert oneself at our expense? After all, constructive criticism itself is an important element of personal growth. It helps identify shortcomings, gaps, lack of information and much more. But we must clearly distinguish the concept of criticism in order to understand what we are talking about. Constructive and destructive criticism, feedback and personal attacks are known. Let's figure out what constructive criticism is and how to use it correctly.

The concept and content of constructive criticism

They give you an opinion about the results or process of your work, give you advice or evaluation, and these words are useful - that’s what does constructive criticism mean?.

Principles of constructive criticism:

Respect, that is, there is no personalization.
Taking into account nuances, that is, the critic recognizes that the result can be assessed in other ways.
Attitude to the case, that is, specific aspects of the case are assessed.
Presence of examples.
Specificity, that is, criticism is presented in detail.
Objectivity, that is, the critic does not claim to be the ultimate truth.

Of course, when we are praised, it inspires us, but when we are criticized, on the contrary, we feel despondent. But how to respond to criticism is up to you to decide. Any criticism can turn out to be a treasure trove of tips and directions in development, correction of mistakes, and self-improvement. Correct criticism inspires new results, forces you to move on, and reveals new perspectives. Therefore, it is very important to choose the right critics for your work.

It is important to understand that constructive criticism is not based on statements about what turned out wrong or bad. And on how to do it better. For example, “Where are you going?” - This is a destructive statement. “It’s better to go from this side” is constructive.

Criticism is destructive

“I’m used to looking at criticism as admiration mixed with envy.” Francis Fitzgerald.

Destructive criticism occurs when the critic does not know how to correctly express his point of view, or does not even understand what he is talking about. It's worse when both occur at the same time. When a person is incompetent and undertakes to reveal someone else's mistakes, he is more likely to discover his own. Therefore, you need to be able to distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism and respond to it correctly.

Types of Destructive Criticism

Disrespect – criticism is expressed rudely and aggressively.
Indiscriminateness - alternative points of view are not recognized, everything is perceived in extremes.
Irrelevance – the evaluation criteria are not relevant.
Unsubstantiated – conclusions are not substantiated, examples are not given.
Nebula – assessments are given as general judgments without specifications.
Bias – the critic is confident that he is right and does not admit that he may be wrong.

If the person from whom destructive criticism comes is of little importance to you, you can ignore him. It’s worse when it’s important for you to continue further communication with him. After all, such criticism does not give us the opportunity to save our face in front of the critic and others. Moreover, it concentrates our energy on fighting negative emotions and deprives us of faith in ourselves. There is no benefit from this, but there is a lot of harm.

Personal insults

Having figured it out, what is constructive and destructive criticism, let's look at another tool that critics often use, but which has very little to do with criticism. This is a personal insult, that is, offensive and impartial remarks with malicious intent. Most often they are resorted to when the arguments run out, the critic is ignorant or has a lot of prejudices.

What to do when you hear judgments directed at you? First of all, figure out what these judgments are:

Destructive criticism;
constructive criticism;
personal attacks;
Feedback.

And then act in accordance with the conclusions. If you receive feedback, be grateful for it. Moreover, it is better to look for it yourself, since without feedback, further development is very difficult.

In the same way, it is worth looking for sources of constructive criticism. First, learn to recognize it and react correctly. Every time, think about what such criticism can teach you. You need to listen to her, constantly interacting with the critic, asking him to clarify, comment, give an example, etc.

“God himself does not judge a man until his days are spent.” Samuel Johnson

Destructive criticism should be ignored if it is expressed by a person not associated with the work being criticized. If you are tied up, you need to enter into dialogue and clarify your position. Personal attacks should always be ignored and avoided without being provoked.

As conclusions

The critic's opinion is not always true. And if he expresses it destructively, this is a reflection of his internal dissonance, and not of real facts. To prevent other people's criticism from hurting you, you need to build your self-esteem on objective facts, and not on the opinions of others. It is changeable, and we may not keep up with its changes. But even if the statements are justified, there is no need to worry too much about it.

Destructive criticism always has a negative connotation. More often than not, this is a projection of the negative state of the critic himself. Therefore, the only true path to the correct perception of criticism is self-knowledge and self-improvement. Think about and analyze your mistakes, build yourself up, and then constructive and destructive criticism will only bring you benefit.

Marina Nikitina

The world is structured in such a way that all a person’s actions and lifestyle are constantly assessed by others, and this assessment is not always positive. Having a negative opinion about someone's actions is called criticism.

Sooner or later, any of us is bound to be condemned. Moreover, the stronger the position of the person being criticized, the brighter and more original his path, the more negativity he hears addressed to him.

How to respond to negative assessments from others? Should we listen to the opinions of people who do not share our views on life?

The benefits and harms of criticism

How criticism responds to a person’s behavior depends on his attitude towards it: in some cases it will be beneficial, and in other times it will cause irreparable harm. There are adequate and not so good people. For some, it’s like water off a duck’s back: it’s useless to criticize, while for others, a hint is enough to make them upset. Criticism can also be different, depending on how it affects a person and what its message is.

If the behavior of the person being criticized changes for the better, contributes to it, and does not traumatize the psyche, then it automatically becomes useful, in other words, this is constructive criticism.

Its goal is the desire to help a person, to open their eyes to their own shortcomings, mistakes, to correct the situation, and has the following characteristic features:

Objectivity, fairness and appropriateness - comments are expressed specifically on the case, in order to correct the situation, and the individual is not affected;
Reasonedness and specificity - facts and evidence on which the criticism is based are provided;
Benevolence is when the act itself is condemned, and not the one who committed it. Along with the negative aspects, positive aspects are indicated, the tone is respectful.

If reproaches against the criticized victim suppress a person, humiliate his dignity, and are expressed in an offensive, aggressive form, then such criticism is called destructive. It destroys the personality, causes mental suffering to its victim, and negatively affects the reputation.

Destructive criticism expresses a purely subjective and negative attitude towards the person being criticized, there is no other purpose than to offend the person, and has the following obvious signs:

Bias – a biased attitude based on personal hostility towards the person being criticized, an inadequate assessment of his behavior;
Unsubstantiated - comments are made because the critic is irritated and does not like everything, there are no clear reasoned justifications;
Pickiness - clinging to little things that do not affect the course of the matter in any way, and sometimes even have nothing to do with it;
Cruelty - remarks are made in a humiliating, tactless form or are accompanied by gross insults towards the accused, his feelings are not taken into account, the critic attacks his victim;
Getting personal – it is not the actions that are condemned, but the person himself

How to respond to objective criticism

Objective criticism is beneficial, motivating, and even if it takes destructive forms, you can still benefit from it.

A competent, psychologically prepared person will listen to her, separating constructive comments from, and will focus on what will help him develop further.

Thanks to this approach, great celebrities made discoveries, brought great benefits to the world, achieved heights and universal recognition. Therefore, we must remember: it is difficult to take any comments with hostility.

A person who does not know how to admit his own mistakes is not able to improve in a positive way. In addition to destructive emotions that will undermine his health, he risks making himself a myriad of enemies, becoming angry and becoming a grumpy, stubborn loser.

Directing all forces into the channel of hostility, instead of developing and improving, a person acts to his own detriment, which is what destructive criticism is designed for.

Learning to criticize constructively

Due to circumstances, we also have to become critics. Often, without thinking about the consequences, we succumb to negative emotions, and in a fit of anger and irritation we offend people dear and close to our hearts. And then, when we lose their trust, we repent and blame ourselves for all our sins.

As a rule, our own children become victims of our criticism, and this is dangerous because it shapes, destroys and cripples their psyche.

Emotional outbursts occur, in most cases, uncontrollably and are the result of our own dissatisfaction or are explained by the inability to communicate.

Therefore, learn to criticize constructively, and for this follow the basic rules:

criticize a person’s affairs without affecting his personality, for example: instead of the phrase “you’re good for nothing,” say: “your work is no good,” then clearly indicate what exactly you didn’t like;
note the positive aspects of the one who has been accused, remember your shortcomings as an example;
argue in private, public accusations hurt a person’s pride, even if they are fair;
focus on the main shortcomings without nitpicking;
suggest options for solving the problem, perhaps your opponent simply does not know how to correct the situation;
control your own emotions while maintaining a respectful tone.

By showing condescension to people, making appropriate, fair comments in a friendly manner, we help them see themselves from the outside and contribute to their improvement.

March 22, 2014

CRITICISM- a project of creating a better future, and not a condemnation of the present and past, depriving people of power over their present and future.

Constructive criticism- this is a specific proposal to improve something that already exists with a clear description of the shortcomings of the criticized item and their possible corrections. With constructive criticism, the assessment of noticed actions does not hurt the recipient’s pride and motivates him to correct.

Destructive criticism These are destructive actions. The essence of destructive criticism is to demonstrate to the critic his superiority, perhaps his power over the one at whom his criticism is directed.

Depending on different circumstances, criticism manifests itself in different ways. Let's consider how criticism manifests itself using the example of a generally good employee, Ivanov, who suddenly made a mistake in his report that led to an incorrect result. So, the boss’s criticism of him may be as follows:

Constructive in form and content. —There is a mistake in your report, you will have to redo everything.

Constructive in content, but destructive in form. Ivanov, you are an inattentive slacker—made a mistake in your report. Redo everything!

Constructive in form, but destructive in content. Ivanov, please be more careful—you are often wrong. Everything will have to be redone.

Destructive both in form and content. Ivanov, you are a slacker—You constantly make mistakes. Redo everything!

This example shows that criticism can be both beneficial and harmful, so it is very important to take these facts into account. You can criticize justifiably, but it is important how it is done, whether the feelings of another person are offended or, on the contrary, they are given support and knowledge on how to become better.

The conclusion suggests itself: listening to constructive criticism in time, taking action and getting rid of identified shortcomings will help you avoid unpleasant and unproductive destructive criticism in the future!

Quotes about criticism:

ABUSE AT YOUR OPPONENT, a dispute over his PERSONAL qualities is garbage in science; the grains of OBJECTIVE truth are lost in it.
“Depressurization” chapter 5, §8 “Trotskyism-“Leninism” takes “power””, p.76

On accepting destructive criticism:
In almost every opinion, subjective in content, warning of personal offense or cynically offensive in form, there is something meaningful of objective truth; it is possible that this is new KNOWLEDGE or the keys to it. They should not be lost just because the form of their presentation does not suit the opponent with whom the dispute is being waged for SUBJECTIVE reasons.
“Depressurization” chapter 5, §8 “Trotskyism-“Leninism” takes “power””, p.81

... let us turn to the question of really useful criticism and imaginary criticism - always destructive.
Let's start with a widely known opinion: “the “bazaar” must be filtered.” If you do this, you will get criticism and self-criticism in the following sense: criticism is a project for creating the future. If the “bazaar” is not filtered, but called “criticism,” then permissiveness in swearing, fabrications, speculation and gossip will spread discord and will not allow people to unite in any matter that requires collective work.

An. note “On the tasks for the future of the Conceptual Party “Unity” and non-party adherents of the Concept of Public Security”

The difference between constructive criticism and ordinary criticism is that a solution for improvement is proposed. At the same time, all words are spoken softly, without the desire to offend. Often at the end, help is offered to transform the situation or the work done, and all this leads to a harmonious relationship.

Features of constructive criticism

Correct and useful criticism begins not with mistakes, but with praise. If a person has done something, that’s already good; you first need to find the positive aspects, what was right, what you can be proud of. If there is no such thing in the project, then you can find good qualities in the person himself. Flattery is not appropriate, but with careful consideration you can always find something positive.

Words are spoken not for the sake of humiliation, but for the betterment of a person. Therefore, correctness in expressions and images is observed. Words are chosen carefully so as not to offend. If a person feels aggression, he is not able to take advice, he begins to defend himself. That is why it is necessary to avoid harsh phrases and judgment.

To help a person, to make him better and more productive, you need to explain to him what was wrong. Sometimes the person himself is not aware of his mistake, does not understand its consequences, it is worth paying attention to this and telling why others are not happy with it. Constructive criticism provides such an opportunity, because another of its steps is a story about why all this is not ideal.

After such communication, there is no feeling of resentment and disappointment; you do not want to take revenge on the person who made your comments. It is immediately clear that this is not a method of emphasizing shortcomings, but a way to make a person better and more interesting. After such dialogues, the relationship does not deteriorate, but only gets better.

How to accept criticism

If you find yourself in a situation where you are being criticized, don't be nervous. This is not a reason to worry, because if a person were not interested in your improvement, he simply would not behave this way. In such circumstances, it is important to listen to what they tell you, note any shortcomings and look for ways to solve the problem. Try to ask questions, if something is not clear to you, delve into the details and write down tips for the future.

Usually people who know how to accept criticism, and then also cope with work or communication using recommendations, are highly valued. They can be much happier both at work and in the family than others. Correctly accepted criticism makes it possible to develop, achieve higher goals and correctly build any communication.