Desperate housewives desperate housewives game. Review of The Housewife - Domestic Violence Simulator

The quiet suburb of Fairview and its beautiful street, Wisteria Lane, are known to millions of television viewers around the world. In September 2004, when the pilot episode of Desperate Housewives aired on ABC on Sunday, few thought that its five heroines would become cult figures. But their life is ordinary, nothing special: household chores, gossip, scandals, petty domestic terrorism and cold-blooded murders.

Pretty Little Picture 1

The public's intense interest in Housewives, which recently entered its third season, does not threaten the game of the same name, although ardent fans probably bought it without any reviews. It is designed for their most unassuming layer Desperate Housewives: The Game.

At a quick glance, everything seems to be in order. The virtual ensemble of actors appeared in full force and are more or less similar to their prototypes, if you close your eyes to the clumsy pathfinding and poor synchronization of speech with lip movements. Not wanting to inflate the project's budget, the authors did not invite the main "stars" of the series to do the voice acting, limiting themselves to a surprisingly accurate imitation of voices. There was enough money for a contract with Brenda Strong, who played the role of Mary-Alice Young, a lady who suddenly shot herself in the very first minutes of the “pilot” and has since worked as a voice-over reader, commenting on the misadventures of her former friends.

The dialogues were also successful, of which there are no less than in a good adventure game. It feels like the writers spent a lot of time exploring the characters. Even the minor characters speak and behave as expected. Of course, the joy of recognition is the lot of those who have seen at least a couple of episodes. The rest are not expected with bouquets of roses: if you don’t know why Eddie Britt hates Susan Mayer with every fiber of his soul, and Bree van de Kamp doesn’t get along with his daughter, then you will remain in the dark.

But fans (and those who, for various reasons, cannot spend more than an hour at the computer per “visit”) will appreciate the original manner of presenting the plot. The game is divided into 12 fragments, lasting from 10 to 45 minutes, depending on your persistence and skills. To complete the impressions, there is a set of general phrases on a current topic that has already become a cliché, accompanying short “cuts” at the beginning and end of each episode. If Buena Vista Games were greedier, it would, following the current fashion, feed it to the people Desperate Housewives small portions for $4.99 each. How lucky we are!

Every Day a Little Death

The story centers on a new family that moves to Wisteria Lane from out of state. Even before the introductory video, the player is allowed to tinker in a simple editor, choosing the heroine’s first and last name, face, skin color and clothes. Her husband and son did not receive such attention - they are offered in the form of ready-made models.

Just don’t be fooled by looking at screenshots reminiscent of The Sims 2. The lack of shadows, the annoying loading of objects that appear from the void every time the ward enters the building, and the camera's limited maneuverability are not the only things that separate D.H. from the brainchild of Maxis. The home and the decoration of its rooms are not subject to redevelopment. A few modest upgrades (TV, kitchen appliances, etc.), changing wallpaper and flooring are the ultimate dream. And don't worry about routine. Nobody forbids you to personally cook, clean the shower stall and wash clothes, but it’s easier to hire servants. Fortunately, our name’s wallet is thick enough for her to purchase a computer a day.

On the thought of The Sims It also brings up a list of needs: neat appearance, communication, happiness and balance. If the parameters have an influence, then the authors hide it, and, in fact, correcting them is not difficult. Make a mess in front of the mirror or soak in the bathroom. Scratch your hair with your neighbor (preferably with your spouse, because such conversations also improve your mood). Stare into the “box”. Have sex (say, with the postman - adultery is frowned upon in Fairview). Finally, sleep without taking off your sandals (other people, by the way, don’t undress at all). And don’t be afraid: you won’t be forced to go to the toilet, take out the trash, pay bills... No, D.H.- not a simulator.

Ah, But Underneath

A reasonable question: “What then?” causes painful thoughts. In fact, Desperate Housewives- not a game in the classical sense of the term. Three quarters of the gameplay comes down to completing mini-tasks: we constantly move between NPCs and choose lines in dialogue, adjusting the leisurely narrative.

To the credit of the designers, intimate conversations and sometimes the quests themselves are non-linear. It's a shame that their consequences never extend beyond the current episode. Whatever decision you make while dealing with obligatory amnesia, an insidious secretary from your husband’s job, FBI agents and your son’s jealous passions, the main pattern of the plot outline will not shift one iota. Only at the end will four endings collapse on you, one harsher than the other, burying common sense in a dull mess of the final conflict.

Remaining quarter D.H. much more cheerful because it consists of mini-fun. For example, several times we are asked to enter someone else's home for some purpose (to steal a watch, return a lost painting, destroy a competitor's supply of spices in a culinary tournament) without making too much noise.

The second popular entertainment is poker according to the rules of Texas Hold'em, either in the local “online” or in the company of gossips. It’s easy to beat the citizens - they clearly didn’t finish Poker Academy. For those who cannot handle such intelligence, there are legal methods of cheating, such as “looking over your shoulder” and “piercing your opponent with your gaze so that she throws the cards on the table.”

Hobby number three is ornamental gardening. You buy and plant flowers on the lawn near your house, poison pest beetles with dichlorvos, water the beds, trying not to “drown” the plants, and pull out the weeds with vigorous cursor movements. The reward for your efforts is the most beautiful and “pumped up” lawn in the area, the black envy of Miss Davenport and praise from Bree.

The most interesting arcade game is speed cooking, where success is determined by the rhythmic clicking of mice when cutting food, an unerring eye and, most importantly, the correct order of processing ingredients. The faster we serve lunch, the higher the final score, so learn to simultaneously fry the fillet, chop the onion for five plus and stir the escaping broth on the stove.

Said goodness is stitched into the script at several points, and at least half a dozen times you're sure to feel like an American housewife. There is also an optional activity - collecting dirt on friends, acquaintances and family members. A universal recipe for squeezing out secrets: identify a victim, turn on the automatic “Gossip”, “Chat” or “Discuss” mode, wait until the relationship indicator exceeds the desired numerical mark. After this, all that remains is to finish off your counterpart with a series of carefully selected remarks, and voila - there is more to write in the “Secrets” folder. For what? Just because.

Nice She Ain't

The expression “just because” is an excellent characteristic for Desperate Housewives: The Game generally. Are you ready to suffer through nonsense for ten hours, hoping to get to the bottom of the predictable truth? In my opinion, it's better to rewatch both seasons on DVD.

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Once upon a time, in order to have fun, enjoy the intricacies of events, scandals and love affairs, we had to sit in front of the TV and watch TV series. Now you can download the Desperate Housewives game and become a direct participant in all the events that take place. The presented game was created by Liquid Entertainment and is based on the storyline of the popular television series.

There is everything here: intrigue, scandals, crimes and of course love stories. You will play the role of a housewife and therefore the game is primarily suitable for girls. Spread the most incredible rumors, hunt for recipes for new dishes, have a couple of romances with the servants, play poker with your girlfriends and do other “important” activities for the home. All this in the game Liquid Entertainment. You already want to download the full Russian version of Desperate Housewives on your PC and go all out. Then quickly click the “Download” button and in a few minutes you will be able to immerse yourself in the exciting game plot of this strategy.

Screenshots of the game Desperate Housewives

An unusual simulator of a housewife who considers her main goal in life to be to please her husband in everything!

The industry these days wildly spoils us with the quantity (unfortunately, not always the quality) of various simulators. Do you want to be a combine operator - for God's sake. If you want to get into the skin of a goat, no question! And also a bus driver, an elevator passenger, a maniac rapist, showering with his father and much more. Choose to your taste and go ahead. Only after some experiments would it be good to at least clear the operating system log or simply burn the system unit, having first drilled through the hard drive and motherboard with a drill.

The game, of course, has not become something forbidden, but it is no less strange in itself, I would even say provocative and scandalous. We are given the opportunity to be in the image of an ordinary housewife with completely ordinary everyday affairs. Mopping the floors, picking up dirty things around the house, watering the flowers in the backyard. It certainly sounds boring and routine, but it's actually quite fun. It's all about the time frame. A calming soundtrack is playing, a huge house with colorfully decorated rooms, and we have one task - to restore as much order as possible.

We see dirty stains - we took out a sponge, after dragging a bucket of water, washed it, at the same time picked up empty candy packaging thrown by the children, threw it into the trash can. The collection of dirty laundry and its further transportation to the washing machine has also not been canceled. We saw a pile of something that looked like sand - we took out a broom and swept it up. There is a watering can for watering vegetation in the yard. The main goal is to meet the time frame. At any cost! Through thick and thin! Otherwise, instead of the usual inscriptions like “Spent” for defeat, we will see many inscriptions like “Disappointment”, “Despondency”, etc. Of course, many housewives are obsessed with cleanliness and this is their whim, but it also happens that ideal cleanliness is a tribute paid to the husband not out of respect, but out of fear.

The simple gameplay and minimalistic design conceal a fairly serious, intuitively readable plot. There are no dialogues, cinematic cutscenes or even text descriptions. There is something unsettling about the bright colors of the interior of the house where the action takes place. Exactly like in the heroine’s dreams, where she sees almost the same thing as in reality - tests that need to be passed as quickly as possible, to wash a huge room from stains, to walk along a narrow path, balancing over a cliff, in order to meet with the child figuratively represented here in in the form of a large doll. Every episode of her life is a test, where the highest reward will be calmness and at least some protection from her husband’s anger.

Fortunately, I didn’t get to scenes of violence, because I did everything on time and was generally an exemplary housewife. But something told me that this was not at all the key to success in this game. After all, the authors touch on a very serious topic - domestic violence. The description on Steam is replete with facts and statistics that far fewer people die each year serving in hot spots like Iraq than women killed by their own husbands.

But the presentation of such a sensitive topic here is quite unobtrusive and really makes you think. The undeniably beautiful half of humanity today, for the most part, has already lost its meekness and submissive disposition, and it often happens that they themselves can cause serious physical harm to anyone, but there are also those very few who timidly endure beatings and carry their truly heavy burden.

In terms of technical performance, it does not qualify for the game of the year. But in terms of the disturbing atmosphere and the very delicately raised topic of domestic violence, it at least deserves praise and attention. This is a kind of call for humanity and respect in the digital world. Almost without words, the authors from the Colossal Wreck studio said much more than any hype on the TV screen. Personally, I didn't expect this at all, given that I didn't read any descriptions before launching. This is an emotionally very strong and succinctly told story, where the problem of millions is examined through the everyday life of one woman.

INTO THE PSYCHE OF THE VICTIM
is a parable on spouse abuse. The story follows a day in the life of an unnamed housewife and her every desire to please her husband. She lives an illusioned life and has forgotten the world outside her husband, children and home.

Take on the role of the housewife and make sure the house is maintained, she lives to keep her husband happy. Learn how the world changes for an abused person. She believes that he only beats her when she disappoints him. Get deep inside the functioning psyche of a victim of abuse.

Tries to take a deep look into the psyche of an abused individual, many artistic and metaphorical choices are made in the game design to represent psychological impact.

GAMEPLAY
Experience a chilling story of domestic abuse.
Step into the shoes of a middleclass housewife and clean, hang washing, sweep dirt, etc.
Step into the surreal world of the Housewife's dreams. She dreams of doing housework in fantasy worlds, these manifest themselves as challenges within the game.
Original soundtrack

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A game The Housewife Of course, it has not become something forbidden, but it is no less strange in itself, I would even say provocative and scandalous. We are given the opportunity to be in the image of an ordinary housewife with completely ordinary everyday affairs. Mopping the floors, picking up dirty things around the house, watering the flowers in the backyard. It certainly sounds boring and routine, but it's actually quite fun. It's all about the time frame. The soundtrack plays to match what we heard in Minecraft, a huge house with colorfully decorated rooms, and we have one task - to restore as much order as possible.

But the presentation of such a sensitive topic here is quite unobtrusive, it is not annoying, like Anita Sargsyan’s blog, but really makes you think. The undeniably beautiful half of humanity today, for the most part, has already lost its meekness and submissive disposition, and it often happens that they themselves can cause serious physical harm to anyone, but there are also those very few who timidly endure beatings and carry their truly heavy burden.

The Housewife in its technical performance it does not qualify for the game of the year. But in terms of the disturbing atmosphere and the very delicately raised topic of domestic violence, it at least deserves praise and attention. This is a kind of call for humanity and respect in the digital world. Almost without words, the authors from the studio Colossal Wreck said much more than any hype on the TV screen. Personally, I didn't expect this at all, given that I didn't read any descriptions before launching. This is an emotionally very strong and succinctly told story, where the problem of millions is examined through the everyday life of one woman.

In the material: colossal wreck, the housewife, steam, minecraft