Fear of falling in love is philophobia. How to get rid of philophobia? Intimophobia - fear of physical intimacy

The fear of feeling in love, which often coexists with the desire to find love, is called philophobia.

This phobia manifests itself with varying strength. One of the distinctive features of a philophobe is the desire to find happiness, which appears in his work and is present in his dreams.

However, in a situation, as soon as a person finds a loved one who treats him with sympathy, the philophobe’s inner fear is triggered. And by obeying him, he himself destroys the relationship. As a result, a person with this phobia may be left alone or choose as an object of love a person who will not demonstrate sincere feelings, replacing them with coldness and cruelty.

But philophobes, carefully taking care of themselves, only in isolated cases remain with a partner who shows not mental pressure, but physical strength. Having an extremely negative impact on life, phobia requires help from psychotherapists and psychologists. It is almost impossible to eradicate uncontrollable fear on your own.

Fear of falling in love is a condition that can affect any individual. However, it is believed that women and adolescents are more prone to its occurrence.

Completely different moments can act as “triggers”. Isolating from them the common reasons due to which philophobia is formed, they can be divided into two subgroups: difficult personal experience of the past and outside influence.

Personal experience

The classic reason for the formation of fear is a negative love experience. In the consciousness of any person, difficult and negative moments are more firmly entrenched than something positive. Therefore, memories of how difficult it was to survive the pain of losing a loved one are crowding out images of the positive beginning of falling in love.

Driven by the fear of falling back into a depressive state after a breakup and feeling mental suffering, the philophobe deliberately closes himself off from situations that can provoke the emergence of a new feeling.

Within the framework of negative past experiences, the loss of a loved one does not only mean a break in a relationship. The death of a loved one, betrayal that could not be forgiven, forced separation also give rise to irrational fear.

Personal experience can come from childhood. In this version, it is based on the absence of a trusting relationship with a stepfather or stepmother, on a situation when a small child appears in the family and receives a lot of care and love from the parents. Children who grew up in unfavorable conditions and single-parent families may experience a fear of falling in love.

Outside influence

Any external influence has a greater impact on people with certain personality traits and characteristics. These include suggestibility, impressionability, suspiciousness, anxiety, unstable self-esteem and uncertainty, isolation, and a tendency to worry about the slightest reason.

Philophobia can develop due to:

In some cases, irrational fear is formed under the influence of the fear of losing control over oneself, emotions, and life.

Symptoms

Such fear can be noticeable externally, but it is also characterized by internal sensations. Depending on the strength of the development of the phobia, the symptoms can be either “erased” or expressed very clearly.

External possible manifestations

One of the distinctive symptoms of such fear is the deliberate “disfigurement” of appearance. The philophobe resorts to such measures, relying on the desire to alienate individuals who are capable of provoking falling in love. People with this phobia may refuse to take care of their appearance, disdain their appearance, deliberately injure themselves (scars, burns), and cover their bodies with a large number of tattoos.

The fear of falling in love leaves its mark on a person’s surroundings. A person with this pathological fear may deliberately surround himself with a group of people whose members do not arouse sympathy or sexual interest.

At the same time, it is important for a philophobe that not only does he not experience attraction, but that he is also treated neutrally. For the same reason, contacts with the opposite sex can be curtailed. And the “victim” himself will try to minimize those moments when it will be necessary to be in the company of people of the opposite sex, especially alone.

Philophobia can also manifest itself:

• , nervous behavior;
• redness of the skin, tremors, stuttering;
• feeling of lack of air;
• inability to think clearly and clearly;
• other characteristic symptoms dictated by the nervous system.

Internal symptoms

Internal discomfort in situations where the phobia worsens is characterized by increased anxiety, restlessness, and the inability to cope with one’s thoughts and visual images. Along with this, obsessions of various types may be noted.

Philophobes are quite prone to depressive states, against the background of which heavy thoughts often predominate. Along with the fear of falling in love, additional phobias are often noted. Due to irrational fear adjacent to the internal desire to love and be loved, such people are characterized by ambivalence of desires, behavior, and states.

Individuals with such a phobia gravitate towards different types of aggressive behavior. Often it manifests itself in the form of auto-aggression. Also typical is gloomy negativism, based on the fact that not a single person is capable of sincerely loving them, and, therefore, separation and pain will be inevitable.

Treatment of phobia

Identifying a phobia on your own can be problematic. A person can deny the presence of fear, attributing all manifestations to a coincidence of circumstances. And if the disease does not manifest itself clearly enough, then it may remain completely unnoticed for a long time.

However, it is important to understand that neither introspection, nor attempts at self-hypnosis and painful confrontation “head-on” with one’s fear may not bring any results. However, this approach can worsen the condition. That’s why it’s so important to seek help and support from a specialist.

Drug therapy

When treating fear of falling in love, medications are not dominant. However, in a situation where panic attacks and anxiety coexist with the phobia constantly and are expressed strongly, intervention with medication may be justified.

To relieve negative symptoms, different types of tranquilizers are used. Along with them, it is permissible to use antipsychotics as adjuncts, sedatives or antidepressants in case of a pronounced tendency to depression.

Psychotherapy

The key correction option is individual counseling, a psychoanalytic approach, and Gestalt therapy can also be used. Such actions allow you to understand the basis of the phobia. Only after accepting and understanding the root cause can appropriate corrective work be carried out.

The main goal is to convey to the consciousness of the philophobe the idea that love is not always something painful. Working through the problems and traumas of the past allows you to form new ideas and images. In situations with this phobia, hypnosis is rarely used to replace negative components.

Group therapy can be used as communication or personal growth training. The first option allows you to learn how to interact with people of the opposite sex. The development of personal qualities helps to deal with internal blocks. Group work aimed at combating anxieties, fears, and increasing the level of self-esteem and stress resistance can also give positive results.

Uncontrolled fear of falling in love is not a death sentence. More than 90% of people suffering from this phobia who turn to specialists for help successfully get rid of the condition within a couple of years. By refusing self-hypnosis and not turning a blind eye to the problem, you can remove fear, finding harmony and the much-desired feeling of love.

Falling in love attracts, pleases, makes us feel even when we still don’t know anything about the person we care about. But not everyone can open their heart to give similar feelings. Why? Where does this mistrust come from? What prevents you from falling in love?

There are many reasons why a person is afraid to experience feelings for the opposite sex. This could be inner turmoil, unrequited or rejected attention, fear of the future, responsibility. But these reasons are superficial.

The fear of falling in love is the fear of accepting a person as he is, with all his shortcomings and merits, character and his own opinion. And rather, this fear is disturbing because a person may have once encountered circumstances in which these factors manifested themselves in a negative form.

Philophobia

There is a term - philophobia, that's what it's called fear of falling in love and loving. Translated from Greek, “philos” means “beloved, to love,” and “phobos” means “fear.”

Of people, those suffering from philophobia, are usually called philophobes. They avoid the possibility of becoming attached to anyone and claim that they are incapable of experiencing feelings of love for others.

There are two types of philophobes. Some know how to hide their fear of falling in love and loving, immersing themselves in work, others do not, but they are exactly the same in one thing: in distrust of the opposite sex.

Situations in which there is a possibility of forming a close relationship cause panic, sweating, and breathing problems in the second type of philophobes; sometimes they can't stand talking about love, not to mention the fact that they are not easy to fall in love with. And strangely enough, such a disorder is more often observed in people who dream of love. In their thoughts and dreams, they see pictures of love relationships, but in life they cannot make their dreams come true.

Philophobes do not allow anyone into their personal territory and are afraid of strong feelings, which is a very serious problem due to which these people are unable to be sincere. Their obsessive state, which expressed in fear of falling in love, makes them unhappy. They lack emotional connections and contacts; communication with people at work or in a friendly company does not bring them joy and satisfaction, as a result, a person, completely despairing, runs away from the problem or plunges into loneliness and cannot escape from his distrustful world. If a philaphobe does not get rid of this, then there is a risk of remaining unhappy and lonely forever.

According to statistics from the American Psychotherapy Association, in the United States alone, 250 thousand people are philophobes.

Signs of a philophobe

Fear of relationships affects a person's behavior over time. It is not difficult for a philophobe who cannot hide his fear identify by signs of isolation, reluctance to answer questions about personal life, avoidance of conversations. He is embarrassed, does not want to be alone with a person of the opposite sex, stutters, blushes, and gets confused in his words.

With a more balanced person suffering from philophobia, the situation is different; He can be given away by a quick transition to another topic of conversation, grinning, or ignoring him.

Symptoms of philophobia

Psychologists distinguish two complexes in the symptoms of philophobia:

1. aggression;
2. victim.

The aggressive complex manifests itself in negative and destructive emotions, which the philophobe directs at himself due to injustice, as it seems to him, and self-accusation. He wants to be loved and fall in love himself, but a strong fear of love pushes him to think that he, in general, has no right to want her, so he blames himself for expressing such desires.

As for the victim, the philophobe is in severe depression. He experiences humiliation, cannot accept injustice, suffers from any failure, remembers sad moments, and is offended by life. Such a person is helpless, he cannot survive the pain, which only accumulates in constant disappointments.

The aggression complex applies more to men, and victims are more often women.

Causes of philophobia

• Events of their past.
• Excessive demands on a partner.
• Unhappy love.
• Lack of sexual experience.

Events from the past are one of the main causes of philophobia. Children who grew up in constant scandals, in conditions where the child was treated with disdain, develop a fear of life from an early age. Such children, when they grow up, afraid of intimate relationships; According to psychologists, this is a defensive reaction of the subconscious due to the fear of repeating past events, which prevents the first feelings of love from manifesting. If a child has witnessed parental betrayals, tears and suffering, then in the future he develops a subconscious distrust of the partner with whom he could have a close relationship. In this case, the philophobe does not believe in a happy family and is confident in the future betrayals and disappointments that await him.

Children who are brought up in favorable conditions, in prosperity and in a friendly family, are not ready for difficulties and any disputes. They try to look for partners in their circle, which fails due to excessive demands on the partner and the inability to accept people as they are; idealize, prone to romance. And these qualities lead to constant disappointment, since a person cannot get what he wants.

Unhappy love leaves its traces in a person's life. Unrequited feelings, loss of a loved one, divorce, greatly affect emotional people. They initially embellish the relationship, idealize, succumb to emotional pleasant impulses, and when the picture of love changes and brings only suffering, they also emotionally experience the bitterness of loss and no longer believe in reciprocal feelings; they are afraid of new disappointment, try not to look at life through rose-colored glasses and convince themselves that fairy tales about love do not exist.

Lack of sexual experience is an important reason for the development of philophobia. Mostly people with low self-esteem afraid of sexual relations. This may be due to the fact that the person was constantly criticized, humiliated, and his achievements were devalued. Such reasons push a person to the idea that he is not ready or incapable of any actions, especially sexual ones. Also, an unsuccessful sexual experience or violence has a strong impact on a person’s psyche, which makes it impossible to overcome one’s fear.

How to get rid of philophobia?

Philophobia is a disease. It can develop due to an unstable human psyche and lead to suicide. There are many proven methods in psychiatry that will help get rid of the fear of close relationships, but the best way is to consult a specialist.

To get rid of this disease it is important to understand the essence of the problem by the patient himself. If a person realizes that the cause of his disorder lies primarily in himself and has a desire to change his life, he has every chance of avoiding bad consequences and correcting the situation himself, with the exception of those who have experienced violence.

To do this you need:

• People with low self-esteem should develop: learn languages, travel, read books, etc. In this way they will be able to distract themselves from the fear of being unappreciated, and their acquired knowledge will lead to success.
• Those suffering from philophobia due to unrequited love, excessive demands on a partner and lack of sexual experience can get rid of the problem thanks to auto-training. They will teach you to fight subconscious fear, see the world with all its shortcomings and be an optimist.

The main thing is to follow the rules and change everything in your eyes and actions, try, try to change yourself, become different in your quest the fruits of mental struggle They won’t keep you waiting long, and the fear of falling in love will dissolve in endless worries, communication and learning about a new life.

Are you afraid of falling in love? Or does the thought of someone really falling in love with you scare you? Experienced failures in love often completely discourage any desire to enter into an amorous relationship for fear of experiencing severe pain again.

But love is an amazingly powerful thing: it can either turn you into dirt or give you wings. But if you are not ready to try, to make efforts, then faith in love will not return to you. Give yourself hope, open up to this feeling, allow yourself to love!

How can you find your love and fall in love again without fear of pain and disappointment?

Imagine that love is acceptable

Allow yourself to become attached to your partner, feel his care and warmth. These sensations will not do anything bad to you: they are good, correct, positive. And if you show your feelings, your partner will be much calmer and easier to act, knowing about reciprocity. Remember, you are not alone in your concerns about whether your love relationship is right.

Get the past out of your head

When you really like someone, but the ghosts of past failed relationships scare you away from a new partner, tell yourself: “This is different. This is a different person. It's a different relationship."

Remind yourself that you are now wiser, more emotionally stable. Learn from your mistakes and move forward, leaving the past behind. Think positively, believe in the new relationship. Having this mindset will benefit both of you.

If the past still won't let you go, try talking to someone close to you or see a psychologist. Sometimes this approach helps to better understand the picture of your fears.

Some people focus not on the past, but on the future. Constant questions “What if...”, “What if I’m just wasting my time?” They torment your head and don’t let you love.

By constantly worrying about the future, we waste our energy and do not live in the present.

Remember that time spent building relationships is not wasted, it is always valuable and teaches us.

Face your fear

Are you afraid of losing yourself, your individuality? If in the past you were wildly jealous or constantly criticized, this does not mean that the new relationship should be similar. Leave the past in the past. And realize that the situation you are in now is different - in it, two people are ready to care for each other and make mature decisions together.

It is noteworthy that when you are present, it helps to build clear but friendly boundaries of relationships at the beginning of their formation. Let your partner know that you need privacy, time to be alone, the ability to do things alone, and that this will not at all affect your love and relationship.

Remember, constantly improving yourself and being full-fledged individuals is much better than being just part of a couple. In a relationship, you should always have “air and time” for yourself, and you both should understand that there is nothing wrong with that.

There's no need to rush

Don't you fall in love at first sight or so much that sparks fly out of your eyes? Are you cautious and need time? Fine! Understand that this is a positive fact rather than a negative one.

Take your time and develop your relationship calmly. Be wise, honest, direct and open with your partner.

Slow-cooked love is often strong and respectful.

In addition, it is less traumatic psychologically than lightning love, when the habits of one person can become a complete surprise for another.

Don't give up on your interests

Being in a loving relationship means supporting each other, not changing under the influence of your partner and not constantly trying to change something. But if such a desire arises: the sooner you discuss what doesn’t suit you in the relationship or what you would like to change, the better.

Warn your partner about the peculiarities of your life: be it the traditional trip to the bathhouse on the 31st or the presence of an allergy to a cat, mandatory Saturday fishing with friends or reluctance to have children.

But if you can still change something and make concessions, then under no circumstances should you give up interests that are truly important to you! Both couples will remain unhappy. If this is stopping you from building a relationship, repeat the mantra of being open, honest and polite to each other and start over.

Epilogue

Love is multifaceted. Love is not universal. It has no clear boundaries. Everyone has their own definition of this feeling. How do you personally feel about love? Perhaps you should change your point of view, and your fears will disappear by themselves?!

Love can take you by surprise. Show up in disguise, common interests, weekly conversations at the pub. She doesn't have to be crazy. It can be as simple or as complex as you wish.

But love is, first of all, communicating with someone who means a lot to you. And when all the fears are behind you, you can open up to your feelings and truly love, you can enjoy a love relationship, while getting to know not only yourself, but also your partner.

Good luck and love to you!

Love is one of the most mysterious and contradictory feelings. It gives a person strength and at the same time makes him vulnerable and vulnerable. Gives a feeling of happiness and euphoria. But if the lover is not reciprocated, everything ends in terrible depression and suffering. Most men and women devote their entire lives to finding love and a soul mate, when some people deny this feeling and are afraid of it.

Philophobe: what is he like?

A person who has philophobia (this is what psychology calls fear of close relationships) does not necessarily have to look gloomy and unhappy. Some people really prefer to be alone with their thoughts and devote themselves entirely to work. Others love company, friendly meetings and entertainment. Fear of relationshipssomewomenturns into nymphomaniacs, and men in ladies' man, whichalways take the initiativeThey are constantly looking for new experiences and change sexual partners without regret. Sometimes people with a phobia refuse sexual relations so that animal instincts do not prevent them from conquering the peaks.

An ordinary person cannot diagnose a fear of relationships. Some philophobes try to become invisible to the opposite sex by being overweight and unkempt, while other people take pleasure in taking care of their own bodies, taking care of their appearance and spending money on beautiful clothes. Often people who are afraid of falling in love abandon their family and children, or vice versa, get married and turn into exemplary fathers and mothers.

Philophobes choose different paths and behavior patterns, but they are all united by the inability to trust the opposite sex. They will never blindly fulfill their partner’s requests and will dissolve in their other half, making their husband or wife the center of their universe. For some, fear of close relationships is a gift that makes them invulnerable and strong, but for others, such a disorder becomes a punishment that prevents them from being happy.

Fear of love: greetings from the past

Young children who grew up in an atmosphere of constant scandals eventually cease to believe in a happy family life. From a psychological point of view, they have a fear of intimate relationships - this is a defensive reaction of the subconscious, which does not want history to repeat itself. The situation gets worse if the father raised his hand against the mother, or one of the parents cheated on their other half. Tears, suffering and other negative emotions are deposited in a child’s head, which are projected onto a potential partner in mature boys and girls. This is how a reluctance to take initiative in relationships, male and female love fears are formed, which are much more difficult to overcome than to acquire. The philophobe believes that he will have the same disappointment and future as his parents, so he prefers loneliness.

Girls from happy and friendly families tend to romanticize the image of their father, while boys idealize their mother. Later, they begin to look for partners similar to their parents, and when they do not meet them, they are disappointed. Men's failures in sexual relationships with women and girls' problems with boys gradually form a fear of love and relationships in general. Some lower the bar and put up with the shortcomings of their other half, just so as not to be left without a partner, while others try to raise their wife or husband so that he begins to live up to the ideal image.

Fear of relationships, especially sexual ones, is also diagnosed in people with low self-esteem. For example, if parents and others constantly devalued all male achievements, criticized and treated him with disdain, then gradually the guy comes to the conclusion that he is not good enough to create a strong relationship with a girl.

Philophobia as a result of bad experience

The reason that a person is afraid to take initiative in a relationship may be male and female complexes and fears that appear after a negative experience, for example, a difficult divorce, sexual failure, violence. Women who have experienced sexual violence are afraid of sexual relationships, because for them all masculine qualities come down to aggression and meanness. Men who have become victims of pedophiles or homosexuals are afraid to take the initiative and get close to the girl, expecting misunderstanding and condemnation on her part. The inability to get rid of negative feelings after such a sad experience often becomes the cause of male sexual dysfunction, which only makes the situation worse. In such situations, the fear of love can be combined with the desire to start a family, which makes a person suffer even more.

Fear of the opposite sex also appears after an unsuccessful relationship or divorce. After betrayal, deception, infidelity and pain caused, it is difficult for a person to trust someone a second time. If women, after a difficult breakup or divorce, try to avoid men altogether, then divorce can affect men in a completely different way; they can turn into ladies' men and heartthrobs. After a divorce, they project their pain and mistrust onto other women, try to take revenge on their former lover with their help, become cold, distant, and prefer open and short-term relationships to serious relationships.

For some, as a result of divorce, the fear of a serious relationship appears due to the fear that new feelings will awaken subsided pain and hatred. For others, philophobia becomes armor that makes them invulnerable and strong. Once upon a time, his lofty feelings were mocked and laughed at, and now no one dares to lay claim to his heart and thoughts.

Fear of love: other reasons

Kissing is one of the ways to demonstrate love and receive emotional pleasure. Ordinary people do not see anything unpleasant or terrible in such actions. They are happy to take the initiative in love and desire to enjoy kisses. But there are special people who are afraid to kiss. This is precisely the reason for their loneliness. A phobia can be triggered by:

• fear of getting pleasure or losing control over one's own actions;
• fear of germs that live in another person’s mouth;
• reluctance to let someone get too close;
• a feeling of tightness and constraint when someone takes the initiative and tries to penetrate the comfort zone.

To prevent the fear of kisses from developing into a panicky fear of a new relationship, you need to visit a psychotherapist and work with him to overcome this problem.

For some, a phobia of love is a consequence not of divorce, but of the loss of a wife, husband, or one of their parents. At first the man was incredibly happy, and then death deprived him of joy, forcing him to suffer. After such shocks, thoughts may arise that you will definitely have to pay for love, so it is better to remain alone. Such events often cause depression, which is impossible to get rid of on your own.

Philophobia also occurs in infantile people who do not want to take responsibility for their partner’s life. Guys find men's obligations to their significant other and the need to show care and spend material and moral resources on a woman frightening.

Symptoms and treatment

There are times when an adult is simply not ready at a certain stage of his life to take the initiative and start a family or at least a permanent partner. This does not mean that he has a phobia of love and sexual relationships.

Philophobia is characterized by a range of symptoms: constant irritability, short temper and nervousness, insomnia or other sleep problems, combined with bad mood and fear of losing freedom. Proven methods of psychology and psychotherapy will help overcome such symptoms, as well as male and female fears of sexual contact. Therefore, if at some stage of life, for example, after a divorce or breakup, you notice similar symptoms in combination with the fear of starting a new relationship, it is better to immediately consult a specialist. A person suffering from a love disorder talks about wanting to start a family, but prefers to limit himself to light flirting and short sexual contacts without commitment. He suddenly stops taking care of himself or, on the contrary, buys a gym membership and goes on a diet to get rid of figure flaws.

If a philophobe realizes that he has a fear of love, but he does not want to change habits and give up freedom, then the person needs treatment. Patients with psychologically related childhood trauma should see a therapist, as should survivors of abuse. Negative memories and emotions must first be spoken out, and then gradually get rid of this burden.

It is useful for people with low self-esteem to pay attention to themselves and constantly develop: read books, study languages, sign up for dancing, or find another hobby that will make them feel important. You can overcome the negative psychological consequences of divorce, fear of love and kisses in group or individual classes.

In severe cases, sedatives, antidepressants or tranquilizers will help. Only a specialist can prescribe pharmacological treatment, who must determine the person’s condition and how much the fear of relationships interferes with normal life.

You can achieve good results with the help of auto-training, which will teach you to look at others and your problems with optimism, to love and value yourself. Sometimes, to overcome the subconscious fear of love, it is enough to meet new people, move or find another job to improve your emotional state and become more open. A problem such as philophobia can be treated well, but only if a person himself wants to get rid of it and is ready to open his heart to his soulmate.

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How to get rid of the fear of a serious relationship.

There are many obstacles on the path to a happy relationship. Most of them are fears. In this article you will learn how to overcome them.

How to get rid of phobias and fears on your own: advice from a psychologist

• First, determine what kind of phobia you have. Then read what thoughts trigger it. Tune in to the right way of thinking, get rid of obsessive ones.
• Then each phobia needs an individual approach. However, when choosing your method of getting rid of a phobia, do not forget to check the tips in the article.

Fear of men - androphobia: symptoms, causes

• Unpleasant experiences from the past. They are associated with failed relationships.
• Family. If the relationship between the parents was bad and the mother constantly condemned the father in front of her daughter.
• The phobia arises from watching films where men show cruelty and anger in relationships.
• Confidence in your unattractiveness.

How to express it:

• A woman constantly feels falsehood in the courtship of men. It seems to her that behind all their attempts to establish communication there is a hidden desire to take possession of her and abandon her.
• She feels anxious in places where there are a lot of men.
• For her, the word man is associated with selfishness and arrogance.
• A woman susceptible to this phobia is too critical of men. Finds many shortcomings in them.
• She often considers herself a feminist. Constantly seeks out facts of violation of women's rights by men.

Ways to solve the problem:

• Acknowledge your fear. And don’t try to hide it behind the fact that men are “bad.”
• After the first point, consult a psychologist. With the help of hypnosis or conversations, he will help you look at men as ordinary people.

• You can write letters in which you express all your worries because of them. Of course, such letters should not be sent to this address.
• Encourage and support yourself. Every day, consciously do not allow yourself to criticize your actions.
• Practice communicating with men.

Fear of falling in love - philophobia: symptoms, causes

• Finding an ideal partner who has only positive qualities.
• The loss of a loved one and the idealization of his personality. This makes new relationships impossible.
• Unsuccessful relationships with the opposite sex. The previous partner was rude or cruel.
• Adolescent trauma. Unrequited love, suffered from 12 to 18 years. During this period, failures are usually perceived more painfully than by adults.
• Family problems. If a child has often seen scandals and humiliation in his family, the opposite sex becomes unpleasant for him.

What increases philophobia?

• Low self-esteem
• Fear of losing personal freedom
• Fear of taking responsibility for decisions made

How to express it:

People often have no idea about this phobia. He creates his own comfortable little world into which he does not allow outsiders. This world consists of a lifestyle convenient for the philophobe.
• The stronger the philophobia, the more difficult it is for a person to share his feelings and emotions.
• A person either tries to be alone, or is constantly in a noisy company, in a crowded place.

• A philophobe can be sloppy and cares little about his appearance. Or go to the other extreme: pay a lot of attention to your appearance.

Ways to solve the problem:

• Realize the hidden benefits that philophobia gives you. To do this, you can use the technique from the video at the end of this subtopic about philophobia. Such benefits may include: protection from the loss of a loved one, protection of personal space and freedom, and protection from disappointment.
• Become more attentive to your behavior. Notice those moments when you are driven by philophobia. Awareness of the problem is the first step to solving it.

• Boost your self-esteem. To do this, praise yourself even for small successes. At the end or beginning of each day, note five of your positive qualities.
• Develop positive thinking. To do this, every day remember five happy events of the past day and five of your achievements. And also find five positive qualities in people you don’t like at the moment. Read books by Luza Hay or A. Sviyash.
• Try to communicate with new people more often, travel.
• Do familiar things in an unusual environment. For example, take your morning walks in a new, unknown area.

VIDEO: NLP: how easy it is to change in 15 minutes? (reframing)

Fear of women, girls - gynecophobia (gynephobia, feminophobia, gynophobia): symptoms, causes

• A cruel, domineering, or hot-tempered mother. Or she changed her mood quickly.
• The father is weak and weak-willed.
• Unpleasant personal experience. A personal unsuccessful relationship or simply an unpleasant situation involving a woman. Sometimes ladies act tense and aggressive with men because of past disappointments or bad stereotypes. Therefore, a man immediately faces the unpleasant side of girls.

How to express it:

• Unpleasant sensations when trying to start a conversation with a girl. This could be anxiety or a strong feeling of fear.
• Fear of being the first to start dating, even if the girl is pretty.
• A gynecophobe tries to communicate with women as little as possible. Next to them he feels weak and unprotected.
• When communicating with women, feminophobes can be rude and arrogant. They try to emphasize their superiority.
• Gynecophobes are afraid to enter into intimate contact.

Ways to solve the problem:

• You can consult a psychologist. But only if your phobia does not respond to your own treatment.
• Try to get to know the girls better. The unknown is scary. And if there is no uncertainty, starting communication will be easier every time.
• Understand that girls are people just like you. They have their own complexes and fears.
• Practice communicating with girls more often.

• Don't be afraid of rejection. Someone's “no” is not at all a confirmation of your unattractiveness. This is just a sign that somewhere there is an even more interesting and beautiful girl who will say “yes” to you.
• Try to get rid of negative experiences from the past associated with girls. Imagine that a girl who once offended you tells you her story. Remember, any aggression is evidence of a person’s complexes and fears. Mentally see how the girl says that she is sorry, that she herself felt bad, that’s why she did what she did.

Fear of kissing - philemaphobia: symptoms, causes

• Fear of appearing awkward and inexperienced
• Fear of unpleasant sensations
• Fear of losing control over yourself and the situation
• Unpleasant sensations when someone is in your personal space
• Once upon a time, a guy/girl a person was kissing made fun of his kissing style.
• Unpleasant memories of someone kissing you against your will
• Sometimes philemaphobia is closely related to the fear of becoming infected with other people's germs (bacteriophobia)
• Fear of being rejected or being rejected

fear of kissing - philemaphobia

How to express it:

• Philemophobes are afraid of relationships and try to avoid contacts with the opposite sex
• When thinking about kissing, these people feel dizzy and nauseous. They are shaking and very stressed
• Looking at a simple scene in a movie with a kiss or at a kissing couple, philemophobe feels fear and disgust

Ways to solve the problem:

• Realize: your partner loves you. And any kiss will be pleasant for him, simply because he will kiss you.
• Consult a psychologist.
• If you have fear of the first kiss, then once you kiss you will no longer experience it.
• Understand that refusing a kiss is not a big deal. Make attempts to start new relationships often. Then refusals will stop scaring you.
• If you are a man, remember that a woman may refuse a kiss due to coquetry or shyness.

• Read about the hidden sexual signals of women and men to know whether you should try to kiss or not.
• Don't try to learn how to kiss using manuals and instructions. Each person is unique and individual. Everyone has their own preferences in kissing. So just be observant during the process. Try to feel whether your partner likes what you do - or not.
• If you are afraid of bad breath, then remember a few simple rules. The smell from dental diseases like caries or tartar cannot be masked, only cured. To make your breath smell good before kissing, chew chewing gum for 10 minutes. You can read more about treating bad breath in.

Fear of sex and sexual relationships - genophobia: symptoms, causes

IMPORTANT: The fear of showing one’s inexperience in a young woman/young man should not be confused with erotophobia. It can be overcome by gaining experience over time.

• Severe pain when losing virginity
• Past violence
• Negative attitudes from childhood. The mother or grandmother who said sex was dangerous and dirty
• Complexes due to the fact that a person is convinced that he is ugly
• Your partner's sarcastic comments about your sexual relationship

fear of sex - genophobia

How to express it:

• A person tries to avoid intimacy, refuses, making up excuses.
• In severe cases, he tries not to have a relationship at all.

Ways to solve the problem:

• If you are embarrassed about your body, understand a simple truth. Your partner loves you and your body is perfect for him.
• Decide to practice more often. Over time, the fear will pass.

Fear of sex - erotophobia: symptoms, causes

• Violence
• Convincing adults that sex is dirty or shameful
• Unpleasant personal experience

Ways to solve the problem:

• Contact a psychologist or undergo psychological training.
• Think about the advantages of successful sex: incredible sensations, improved relationships with your partner, health improvement and positive emotions.
• Talk to your partner, discuss the problem. Ask him to be more gentle with you.

Fear of sex - erotophobia

Fear of first intimacy - intimate phobia: symptoms, causes

• Not knowing how to behave
• (In the case of girls) Fear that after sex, the guy will lose interest

How it manifests itself:

• A person tries to avoid contacts with the opposite sex.
• Avoids relationships and is afraid to fall in love, because... knows that the relationship will have to go through sex.

Ways to solve the problem:

• Get rid of the attitude that not knowing about sex and being inexperienced is shameful. This is your first time. Not knowing much about something you've never done is not a bad thing.
• Be sure to protect yourself and make your sex safe. Then you won’t have to regret the first time.

• Relax and get ready to have fun. Think about the pleasant sex that characters in movies, books, or people you know had. You can do it too!
• (For women and girls) Mentally thank your fear for trying to protect you. And let him go. Realize that your partner will help you and become your protection. An incentive to get rid of fear will also be the fact that it itself can become a cause of pain. The emotional and muscular tightness that fear causes will cause pain.

Fear of first intimacy - intimate phobia

VIDEO: Training: how to get rid of the fear of first sex?

Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease - venerophobia: symptoms, causes

• Personal experience of contact with a person infected with sexually transmitted diseases
• Understanding that sex can be unsafe
• Erroneous information taken from unreliable sources
• Misconceptions learned from friends

How it manifests itself:

• Any discomfort in the intimate area causes fear and panic in a winephobe. Even harmless inflammation seems to him the beginning of a venereal disease.
• A person who has once suffered a sexually transmitted disease becomes distrustful. It always seems to him that the recovery is not yet complete.

Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease - venerophobia

• Vinerophobe is afraid of any sexual contact and avoids it.
• In serious cases, thoughts about sex cause panic. It is manifested by rapid breathing, increased pulse, and severe weakness. The same thing is repeated when the possibility of sex arises.

Ways to solve the problem:

• First of all, sincerely wish to get well. Find the positives in sex and the benefits it finds.

• Choose a gentle, patient doctor. He should calmly and patiently answer all your questions about your health.
• Take all the necessary tests and make sure that you do not have sexually transmitted diseases.

Fear of beautiful women

• Lack of self-confidence, inferiority complex
• The stereotype that beautiful women will always try to take over a man
• Fear of Rejection
• The stereotype that beautiful women are stupid and selfish

How to express it:

• At the sight of a beautiful girl, a person experiences shortness of breath, dizziness, and rapid heartbeat.

The cause of fear is lack of self-confidence

• A man feels uncomfortable in the company of a beautiful girl.
• A man communicates well with girls of ordinary appearance, but panics when communicating with beauties.
• In cases of severe phobia, a man may run away from the place where a beautiful woman is.

A man feels uncomfortable in the company of a beautiful girl

Ways to solve the problem:

• If the guy is still a teenager, then this phobia will most likely go away with time.
• Contact a psychologist. Find out what event from the past caused this phobia.
• Take a self-esteem course.
• Learn affirmations about self-love and repeat them to yourself during phobia attacks.

Treatment of phobias with hypnosis

Briefly, hypnosis treats phobias according to the following scheme:

• The hypnotist finds in the patient’s subconscious the root cause of his panic and fear.
• With the help of attitude and suggestion, the client accepts the painful event. Stops clinging to him. Forms a new, positive model of behavior. Returns to reality as a different, better person.

The hypnotist finds the root cause of his panic in the patient’s subconscious

Video: Hypnosis: treating fears and phobias with hypnosis.

Video: Meditation & Hypnosis. Self-hypnosis. How to learn to control the subconscious?

Video: Hypnosis session. Fears, phobias, anxiety.

Video: How to overcome your fears? Oleg Gadetsky