How a girl to raise her self-esteem: practical advice and recommendations from psychologists. How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence in a woman

and gaining self-confidence

It is a fact that low self-esteem is harmful to a person, as it leads to various unpleasant consequences, and in this publication we will look at effective ways to increase self-esteem. The article will be of interest to a wide range of readers, as it contains wise advice that will benefit every person. The following methods will also help you gain self-confidence and make your life more positive and harmonious.

Why is self-esteem low?

Because we live in a selfish society, where everyone, striving to be better than another (or at least look like that - in the eyes of other people or in their own eyes), tends to "lower" others.

A person lowers the self-esteem of another only because he himself has it underestimated - and he tries to compensate for this by suppressing others, using all kinds of available methods, direct or indirect. People with normal self-esteem will not make others "lower" or "worse"; they understand that we are all different and everyone is unique in their own way, and everyone has their own place and role in life. The idea "I'm better than the other" is a sign of bloat and ignorance, nothing more.

How to properly evaluate yourself?

Before we look at how to increase self-esteem, a few words should be said about proper self-esteem in general. In order to properly evaluate yourself, you need to discard emotions and look at the situation sensibly by connecting. And it happens that a person, having read “smart” articles about increasing self-esteem using various methods of self-hypnosis, begins to imagine himself almost as God, which, naturally, from the outside looks ridiculous at best, and at worst - creates even more for a person problems.

Evaluate yourself sensibly. Do not think that life can be deceived by self-hypnosis: cunning can work, but, in the end, everything will be balanced - everyone will get what they deserve. Losers are those people who in a past life tore off a fat piece of the pie for themselves, but they tore it from their own future, so now that the future has become present, they are left with nothing. People say correctly: for every tricky nut there is a tricky bolt.

Therefore, the best way to increase self-esteem, a trouble-free and reliable means, is to work on yourself: , improving in this or that activity and doing good deeds, a person really appreciates himself higher than when he says and does all sorts of stupid things, and therefore gets more, according to his deserts. The conclusion is simple: you need to be a good person and do more good, then there will be no problems with self-esteem. The idea that life can be deceived is completely crazy, and it is better to abandon it immediately.

The methods listed below are bits of wisdom collected on the Internet.

How to increase self-esteem: 20 ways

1. Refuse any destructive criticism and self-criticism. Destructive criticism is a negative assessment of a person, actions or events, which implies an attempt to impose one's point of view on the world. Imposition is violence, and life does not like violence, so do not waste your energy on something that will turn against you. If you can't live without criticism, change it from destructive to constructive and corrective.

2. Give up negative thoughts, stop terrorizing yourself with destructive attitudes. Thoughts create our future - what we think about constantly, we attract. We think about the bad - we attract the bad, we think about the good - we attract the good. Feed off and spread it around is an effective way to boost your self-esteem.

3. Stop blaming yourself and making excuses. If you have done something wrong and you are accused of it, just admit it as a fact. Why the extra emotions and excuses? Yes, I'm guilty, yes, I'll fix it. Do not drive yourself into guilt and do not look for excuses - it's all in the past. Be in the present and think creatively and positively about the future - this way of thinking is the most optimal for a person.

4. Connect more with positive and confident people who do not try to put pressure on you or make you “lower”. Choose or rearrange your social circle, as your self-esteem and self-confidence directly depend on this. They say, "Whoever you go with, that's what you'll get." On our site you can- just for communication, or friendship, or maybe something more.

5. Engage in activities that bring real joy or satisfaction. If this is not about your work, then you need to find a hobby that will give you the feeling that life is not lived in vain. By doing what you really enjoy doing, you gain self-confidence and perhaps even meaning in life, and this significantly raises self-esteem. You can take the Free Purpose Quiz to find out what activities will bring you success and real happiness and start doing them. When a person knows his destiny and does what he loves, he lives happily, using his abilities and talents, and he simply does not have problems with self-esteem.

6. Be patient with yourself. Changing ourselves and introducing a new positive model of behavior into our lives, we want an immediate reward for our actions, but it should be borne in mind that in the material world the effect is separated from the cause by some amount of time, and the reward does not always come immediately.

7. Plan your future. Set yourself realistic (quite achievable) goals, write down real steps to achieve them and regularly implement them - this is an effective way to achieve success and gain self-confidence. Don't procrastinate and don't let the mind think more than it really needs to, because the mind tends to overthink, doubt, and make excuses, "why not do it." If the mind (and for women - intuition) says "it's necessary" and "it's better like this", then it's necessary, and that's it.

8. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and others. If we regret, then we agree that a person cannot cope with the problem, that life is unfair, and that I can be the victim next time. If you can help a person - help, but do not tune in to a negative wave of sympathy and pity, because you will make things worse for yourself and others. Trying to get pity and sympathy (instead of real help) is a manifestation of a subconscious desire "that others should not be better off than me."

9. Gratitude to accept the gifts of fate. Very often people think that blind fate sends blessings to people like me - unworthy. Fate is never wrong - there is simply a delay in time, and we can not always track why this or that good came to us. Accepting the gifts of fate, continue to do good deeds, share positive with others, and more and more goodness will return to you. This way of interacting with the world is the most reasonable.

10. Don't be presumptuous: "one in the field is not a warrior." Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of wisdom. The weak is embarrassed and loses, and the strong, when he feels that he needs support, asks for support, because he himself never refuses to help, if it is in his power and does not contradict common sense. We can solve the tasks that life sets before us, but no one says that this should be done alone. On the contrary, interaction with the world around us is the key to success. Find your support - and you will become many times stronger, gain self-confidence and learn to trust the world around you.

11. Love your flaws and troubles. Any difficulties and problems make us stronger if we overcome them, and do not resist. Resistance to the situation only strengthens it, because we do not try to accept it, but push it away. Therefore, there is no solution, and the situation can be corrected only by accepting it. Cope with emerging problems and situations, this will greatly increase your self-esteem.

12. Take care of your body, because these are not clothes that you can change at will at any time. Keep the body clean, treat and prevent diseases. A sick person is always weaker than a healthy one. Why create unnecessary difficulties for yourself? Eliminate them as soon as you find them, without delay.

13. Bring all things to an end, as unfinished business reduces self-esteem and self-confidence, reminds us of defeat and weakness. Never drop things halfway - then you will have nothing to reproach yourself with. This is a great way to gradually increase your self-confidence.

14. Don't focus on possession. Any thing that belongs to you can suddenly disappear or break. And the more expensive it was, the more difficult its loss, and the more this loss will weaken you. Also, the people we are trying to appropriate to ourselves can leave us at any moment, but the dependence remains. Ultimately, and in our use is only temporarily, do not forget about it. So be for what you have, but don't get attached to these temporary things.

15. Stop showing your importance and pretend that you are better than others. If you do not match the image that you demonstrate, others will put you in your place, and you will look ridiculous. In addition, by such behavior you will attract someone who wants to measure with you in what is usually measured, and you can shamefully lose, which will not contribute to self-esteem in any way.

16. Get over your fears. Fear is the biggest destroyer of your self-confidence. Try to do things that you were afraid to do more often, but do without stupidity, unnecessary heroism and unjustified risk. It may turn out that overcoming fears is the best way to achieve.

17. Help people, benefit society and set others on a positive wave. This will give you confidence; and when you realize that you are helping people, you will no longer consider yourself a failure.

18. Act decisively and purposefully, without looking back or worrying about past failures. Concentrate on the goal and boldly go to it; and when you reach it, there will be no need to raise self-esteem.

19. To study wisdom, trying to penetrate into the most important secrets of life(“Who am I?”, “What am I doing here?”, “How does it all work?”) and get answers to these questions. With spiritual growth, complexes, self-doubt and other problems of material existence disappear.

20. Love yourself now and always. You are a unique person, with a unique set of qualities and abilities, you are an integral part of life, you have a unique role and place in life. God created you just like that; If he wanted you differently, he would have made you different. The Creator accepts you exactly as you are at every moment of time, so there is no point in not accepting and loving yourself. Understanding this greatly improves self-esteem, doesn't it? Therefore, never wait for that bright moment to come when you deserve your own love, otherwise this minute will simply never come.

Of course, there are other ways to increase self-esteem and gain self-confidence, and they can also be successfully applied in your life. Esoteric site materials will help you with this, for example, an article and other similar materials (links to which are given at the bottom of the page, under the article).

Discuss on the esoteric forum :

Women with low self-esteem suffer from insecurity, are afraid of criticism and do not know how to accept compliments. The usual role of the victim does not allow you to perceive life in all colors and boldly look into the future. Learn not to be manipulated.

As you know, self-esteem is how a person evaluates himself, his personal qualities and capabilities in comparison with other people, what place he assigns to himself in society. Self-esteem is not inherited - it is formed at preschool age under the influence of the people closest to the child - the parents. It is on them that it primarily depends on whether the baby will have adequate self-esteem, overestimated or underestimated. And how his future life will turn out, how successful it will be, whether he will be able to set goals and achieve them, or whether he will constantly doubt his abilities and come to terms with the stigma of a loser - it all depends on the level of his self-esteem.

It is not easy to live next to people who have high self-esteem, because they are convinced that they are always right, do not see their own shortcomings and do not admit their mistakes. They believe that they have the right to control others, strive to be the center of attention and show aggression if someone disagrees with them. “You are the best,” they were told as children. “You are a queen!” Dad repeated to a familiar girl. He believed that, feeling like a queen, she would make everyone around her believe in it. But for some reason, those around her did not want to play the role of her subjects, and there were fewer and fewer people who wanted to be friends with her.

Life is not easy for those whose. For some reasons they understand, parents humiliate the child, showing their power over him, break him, making him obedient, and eventually turn him into an infantile, weak-willed creature, on which everyone wipes their feet.

“The horror of what you have done, you can’t be entrusted with anything!”, “You only spoil everything - it’s better to leave”, “Look at Anya, she’s a girl like a girl, and you are disheveled and slovenly”, “Now you will get me, such an infection !" - criticism, threats, comparison with other children, unwillingness to take into account the opinion of the child and see him as a person, talking with him in an orderly tone reduces his self-esteem and self-esteem. His own life attitudes have not yet been formed, and he considers parental beliefs to be an indisputable truth. Psychologists call this direct suggestion, and children at an early age are very suggestible.

If mom and dad call a child a fool and a nonentity, then this is how he will perceive himself. As the proverb says: "Tell a man a hundred times that he is a pig, and on the hundred and first he grunts." Others will perceive it the same way.

Another test for a child's self-esteem is adolescence. At this time, he is very vulnerable and painfully perceives criticism. If you repeat to him that nothing good will come of him and that he has only one road - to prison or to the panel, then you should not be surprised that this will happen.

In the end, people with low self-esteem justify all those nicknames and epithets that they were awarded in childhood. They really become losers, losers, outsiders. They lose, sometimes without even joining the game, because they are indecisive and do not believe in themselves. “I am not worthy,” they explain their loss.

Women with low self-esteem - which men choose them?

Women with low self-esteem, just like men with the same character, do not achieve significant success in life, because they "know their place." However, psychologists have noticed that they, in addition, attract men of a certain type - domineering, authoritarian and selfish. It is beneficial for them to have such a woman at their side, because she is not demanding and it is easy for her to manage. It is easy to convince her that her main task is to create comfortable conditions for her husband, to raise children, and she has no right to demand more than he can give her.

A woman with low self-esteem is also convenient in that she does not need to be jealous - she is grateful to her husband for marrying her, and does not look at anyone else. And even if she looks, she believes that she herself does not deserve the attention of men. The husband, on the other hand, can relax, because if he were married to a woman with adequate or high self-esteem, he would have to strain to match. And so much is forgiven him - both pettiness, and rudeness, and slovenliness, because a woman believes that she does not deserve better.

A woman with low self-esteem is treated not only by her husband, but also by those around her. Knowing that she cannot refuse, they sometimes sit on her head, hanging their problems on her and shifting their responsibilities onto her. Moreover, women with low self-esteem are often perfectionists who strive to do everything in the best possible way.

It is especially easy for them, instilling in them a sense of guilt. In an effort to make amends for this really non-existent guilt, they try even harder to please in order to earn praise.

What are they - women with low self-esteem?

Many women do not realize that all their depressions and failures are associated with low self-esteem. They think: this is how life turned out, the unfavorable circumstances that prevented them from becoming happy, successful and loved are to blame. “You can’t escape fate!”, they resign themselves instead of working on personal settings with which you can change your attitude towards yourself - love yourself. Are we not worthy of this love? “I am alone at home,” says psychologist Ekaterina Mikhailova, who wrote a book under the same title. If we want to be understood, appreciated and loved by others, we must learn to understand, appreciate and love ourselves.

Do these women remind us of anyone? They:

1. Reliable

But not because they are compassionate and feel satisfaction from fulfilling other people's requests. On the contrary, they scold themselves for not being able to refuse, get angry and annoyed. But they can’t say “no”: suddenly the one who asks will be offended or think badly about them, and someone else’s opinion is very important for them, and it must certainly be positive;

2. Painfully tolerate criticism

Women with adequate self-esteem also adequately perceive criticism: they accept it or not, without falling into hysterics. If you say that she is wrong, a woman with low self-esteem, for her it will be almost a tragedy. Resentment, tears and indignation will follow, because she perceives criticism as an insult and humiliation, hints at her inferiority. After all, as you know, people with low self-esteem want everyone to like and be good for everyone;

3. Overly critical of their appearance

They do not tolerate criticism from others, but they themselves are never satisfied with themselves and their appearance, therefore they strive not to stand out, to be in the shadows. They don't like their figure, face, body, hair - nothing. At the same time, they often engage in public self-criticism, apparently subconsciously expecting that others will begin to dissuade them, assure them of the opposite and make compliments;

4. They don't know how to accept compliments.

They love them, but they don't know how to accept them. It is possible that in response to praise that she looks great today, a woman with low self-esteem will fuss and say something like: “Yes, I washed my hair today” or “Oh, this is an old dress, so you can’t see what I am in it became a cow";

5. Feel like a victim

Their vulnerable psyche reacts painfully to every sideways glance and crooked word. They exaggerate their importance in the lives of other people, it seems to them that others only think about how to offend them. They often feel sorry for themselves, repeating in case of failure: “Well, not with my happiness”;

6. Give up on their own desires

They have their own dreams and desires, but they are driven somewhere so deep that they no longer remind of themselves. And all because women with low self-esteem live on other people's desires. Waiting for the weekend to take a walk with her husband in the park? But he said: "We're going to the dacha to clean the garden, weed the garden." Tired and want to take a break? “What a vacation! Look, my old mother is working, and you will unwind?!”. “Tomorrow my friends will come to visit. Do not want? Can't be. Run to the kitchen, to the stove!

They do not know how to refuse, because it means disappointing others, not justifying their hopes, which women with low self-esteem cannot allow;

7. Not able to make choices and take responsibility

Too often they say the words: "I can't," "I can't do it," "I have no right to decide." It is not surprising that making a decision for them is an incredible burden, because you can make a mistake and earn disapproval, get a negative assessment. Therefore, they hesitate for a long time and, if possible, shift this task to others: “What do you advise? I will do as you say";

8. Dissatisfied with their surroundings

They often complain to colleagues and girlfriends that their husband suppresses them, their mother-in-law finds fault, and their relatives do not appreciate them. At home, they cry that the boss does not take into account their point of view, and the employees offend. Psychologists say that subconsciously, women with low self-esteem themselves attract people who do not put them in anything, and thus they are further affirmed in the opinion that they are worthless losers.

We increase our self-esteem

Women who are tired of being a puppet and an object of manipulation, who want to live their own lives and not depend on the opinions of others, can correct their character. It's easy - you just need to want to change.

1. Minimize or stop interacting with people around whom self-esteem decreases

We doubt, constantly seek advice, show insecurity, show how someone’s remark hurts us, make excuses all the time and easily take the blame - and in the end we become our own whipping boy, an eternal scapegoat that no one takes seriously and which is not taken into account. People easily figure out someone who can be treated condescendingly, haughtily, and begin to manipulate him.

To a greater extent, we ourselves are to blame for the current situation: they say that they treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

But if we are no longer satisfied with this state of affairs, we must "show our teeth" - of course, not with the help of tantrums. We control our reactions, not giving a reason to consider us a spineless mumbler.

Changing the attitude of those who are already accustomed to our “toothlessness” is more difficult than starting to build relationships from scratch, but it is possible. However, if others stubbornly continue to assert themselves at our expense, then we do not need such communication. We will spend time with those with whom we become better and gain confidence in our abilities.

2. Love yourself

There is a lot of talk and writing about the need to love yourself now. Loving yourself does not mean giving a damn about the rest and rushing about with yourself, your beloved, as with a hand-written sack. This means understanding yourself, learning to live in harmony with yourself and with the world, respecting yourself and not engaging in self-flagellation and self-blame.

Louise Hay, a well-known American psychologist and author of several books on psychological self-help, suggests going to the mirror in the morning and, looking at your reflection, say: “I love you. What can I do for you today to make you joyful and happy? At first, some internal protest will interfere with this phrase, but soon it will sound natural and free.

As the same Louise Hay writes, “I am not trying to fix the problem. I am correcting my thoughts. And then the problem fixes itself."

3. We set ourselves positive attitudes

We do this with the help of visualizations. The above phrase by Louise Hay about loving yourself is one of the possible affirmations. Some complain that affirmations don't work for them. “I repeat the same thing ten times a day, but nothing changes,” they say.

Louise Hay compares affirmations to a grain or a seed - it is not enough to plant it, it needs to be watered, it needs to be looked after. Having planted, for example, a tomato, we do not expect that we will get fruits tomorrow, do we? The same can be said about affirmations and visualizations - they stimulate us and keep us on track, but for them to work, we must take real steps.

4. Meditate

For example: we relax, close our eyes and mentally transport ourselves to some wonderful place where we once were and where we felt good. We will feel it very clearly - sounds, smells. Then imagine a wizard-wanderer who tells us: “My dear, you are beautiful and unique. You have the right to your opinion, you can not know something or be wrong. You can judge for yourself what is good and what is bad, and take responsibility when you wish. You have the right to decide what and when you do. You have the right to be who you are! You came to this world, to this planet for your own sake!”

The wizard smiles at us and says goodbye to us, and we take a breath, open our eyes and return to reality.

5. We do not save on ourselves

Remarque wrote that "A woman who saves on herself arouses in a man the only desire - to save on her."

Nothing raises a woman's self-esteem like the confidence that she is good and desirable. (Obviously, this is why some men are satisfied with an unpretentious and undemanding wife, next to whom you can not strain yourself, without fear that she will leave or be taken away.)

A gym, a swimming pool, a beauty salon, a SPA-salon, etc. - this is not only external beauty, but also health, and above all mental health.

To become successful (no matter where exactly) you need to have confidence in your own abilities. It is extremely difficult for a person with low self-esteem to succeed and even just become happy: their whole life is built on doubts, disappointments and companies in themselves. And at this time, bright moments fly by, stopping in front of those who are confident in their abilities. Today we will reflect on how to increase self-esteem and love yourself with the help of simple and effective techniques.

What is self-esteem?

This is a person's understanding of the importance of his own personality and individuality in the context of relationships with other people, as well as an assessment of his qualities, pluses and minuses. Self-esteem plays a huge role in the normal activity of a person in society and in solving various everyday problems: realization, family, finances and spirituality.

This quality performs the following functions:

protection - ensuring the stability and relative autonomy of a person from the opinions of other people;
regulation - gives people the opportunity to make personal choices;
development - providing an incentive for self-improvement.

Ideally, self-esteem is based only on a person's own opinion of himself. However, in real life, it is influenced by multiple side factors, for example, the assessment of others: parents, peers, friends, friends and colleagues.

Adequate self-esteem (or ideal) experts call the most accurate assessment of the personality of their skills and abilities. Low self-esteem often leads to excessive self-doubt, introspection, and withdrawal. Overestimated is fraught with loss of caution and making multiple mistakes.

It is important to know! In psychological practice, low self-esteem is more common, when a person is not able to reveal his own potential, and in especially severe cases, experts talk about an inferiority complex.

What affects self-esteem?

So, the meaning of adequate self-perception is to "love" yourself as a real one - even with minuses, shortcomings and various "vices". Everyone has flaws, but a confident person is distinguished from others by the fact that he, first of all, notices his successes and is able to present himself favorably to society.

If you hate yourself or just consider yourself a failure, how can another person love you? Psychologists note an interesting fact: most people subconsciously (and perhaps knowingly) gravitate towards communicating with self-sufficient individuals. Usually they prefer to choose such as business partners, friends and spouses.

Symptoms of low self-esteem

In people with similar problems, such character traits are most often distinguished as:

Low self-esteem causes a person to perceive temporary failures and problems as permanent "life partners", which leads to wrong conclusions and wrong decisions. Do you feel bad about yourself? Get ready for the fact that others will react negatively to you. And this is already fraught with alienation, depressive moods and even emotional disorders.

4 reasons for low self-esteem

It is extremely difficult to indicate all the factors influencing the attitude of the individual towards himself. Psychologists attribute to them innate characteristics, appearance and position in society. Next, we look at the four most common causes of low self-esteem in a person.

Reason #1.

Have you heard the phrase that every problem “grows” from childhood? In our situation, it fits one hundred percent. At an early age, there is a direct dependence of the child's self-esteem on the attitude of parents and other significant adults towards him. If a mother and father constantly scold and compare children with their peers, they will not have faith in their own abilities.

Psychological science claims that it is the family that is the center of the universe for the child. In the cell of society, absolutely all the character traits of the future adult are formed. Lack of initiative, uncertainty, passivity are the consequences of parental attitudes.

Reason number 2. Children's failures

We all face failure, the most important thing is our reaction to them. Psychological trauma in childhood can cause low self-esteem. For example, a child begins to blame himself for the divorce of his mother and father or family scandals. Constant guilt turns into insecurity and unwillingness to make decisions.

In addition, children react sharply to any harmless failure. Ranked second in a competition? An older person will simply redouble their efforts to achieve the goal, and a small person may refuse to work at all, especially if a significant adult has injured him with a ridicule or a careless remark.

Reason number 3."Unhealthy" environment

Adequate self-esteem and aspiration arise only in an environment where success and achievement of results are valued.

If people from the immediate environment do not seek the initiative, it is difficult to expect confidence from an individual.

We are not saying that it is necessary to completely refuse to communicate with such people (especially if they are close relatives). However, it is worth at least thinking about whether you have been captured by such a disregard for self-realization.

Reason number 4. Features of appearance and health

Quite often, low self-perception appears in children and adolescents who have a non-standard appearance or congenital diseases. Yes, relatives treat their “non-standard” child correctly, but he is not immune from the opinions of his peers, who, unfortunately, are ruthless, like all children.

A common example is fat kids who, in preschool and school institutions, become owners of the most unpleasant and offensive nicknames. Low self-esteem will not take long in such situations.

How to increase self-esteem: effective methods

If a person has realized his problems and decided to raise his self-esteem, he has already taken the first step towards confidence. We offer some of the most effective and efficient recommendations.

Change of environment. Negative people are not the best society for a self-doubting individual.
Psychologists advise you to reconsider your own social circle, including successful, self-confident, positively related individuals. Gradually, confidence and self-respect will return to a person.
Refusal of self-flagellation. It is extremely difficult to increase self-esteem by regularly blaming yourself, speaking negatively about your own abilities. Experts recommend avoiding negative assessments regarding their appearance, personal life, career, financial situation.
Priority is given to positive feedback.
Avoiding comparisons. You are the only such person in the world: unique, unique, combining advantages and disadvantages. In addition, it is quite easy to find people who have achieved much greater success in any field of activity. A possible option is to compare yourself (with new achievements) with the former, unwilling to change.
Listening to affirmations. This difficult word in psychological literature means short verbal formulas that create a positive attitude in the human subconscious.
Affirmation should be formulated in the present tense so that the person perceives it as a given. For example: "I am a beautiful and smart woman", "I own my own life." It is better to repeat such phrases in the morning and before going to bed, and you can also record them on a voice recorder.
Doing unusual things. The desire of a man or woman to escape into a zone of personal comfort and "hide in a shell" is quite natural.
It is easier for us in a difficult situation to console ourselves, our beloved (beloved) with goodies, alcohol, tears. We do not call for extreme sports, just try to face the problem face to face.
Training attendance. In large cities, trainings, courses and seminars are regularly held to help increase confidence and raise self-esteem. Of course, it is necessary to find a real expert in psychology, and not "konoval", which, unfortunately, is also lacking. Another option is to read psychological literature and watch fiction and documentary videos on the topic.
Sports. One of the most accessible opportunities for raising self-esteem is playing sports. Regular physical exercises make a person less critical of his own appearance and with more respect for himself. During exercise, people release dopamines, the so-called joy hormones.
Diary of achievements. Both the girl and the young man are helped by diaries of their own successes, in which they should make notes about each of their small victories, achievements, even small ones. For example, every day 3-5 “little things” are written in such a notebook: they transferred the granny across the road, learned 10 new foreign words, earned 500 rubles more this month than last.

Increased self-esteem is closely related to self-guilt and self-rejection. How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a man and a woman? Very simple and, at the same time, difficult - be kinder and more tolerant of your own personality. The following methods will help you with this.

Adequate self-esteem and self-confidence is not a fantasy, but a quite probable development of events. The most important thing for a person is to understand the importance of change and have the desire to go in the right direction: a change in personal life, career, appearance. Remember that self-love in some situations must be earned by going through dissatisfaction and self-abasement.

Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on raising children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

Each of us sometimes reflects on the topic: the psychology of a woman: how to increase self-esteem? Thoughts like: “I am a failure”, “I always do wrong”, “I am unworthy of everything that I have” lead to a similar question. If you recognized yourself in such reflections, then low self-esteem has not bypassed you.

Sooner or later, many women face such a test. Some succeed, rejoice in achievements, enjoy victories. Others are unable to overcome the obstacle and recognize their capabilities, their individuality.

The psychology of a woman is such that, with low self-esteem, she considers herself unworthy even of what she has, is not able to enjoy life, and therefore cannot be happy.

Happiness, life in harmony with oneself are values, priorities for many women. How to increase self-esteem, what needs to be done for this? Look at your life from a different angle, change your attitude towards yourself, the world, people. To do this is not so difficult at first glance.

What is a woman's self-esteem?

This is an adequate assessment of the individual himself. Knowing your personal qualities. A person who uses good qualities and avoids the influence of bad qualities and character traits on life is able to increase self-esteem.

With low self-esteem, a person is not able to really realize and appreciate positive qualities, loses incentives to achieve goals, and is sure that he is a loser.

The adequacy of assessment allows you to realize your own individuality, strive for development, enjoy achievements, create, build harmonious relationships.

The psychology of personality is such that women with low self-esteem cannot fulfill themselves, are easily suggestible, and suffer from guilt, often unreasonable.

However, the assessment is a subjective criterion, and different people see the same situation in different ways. For example, an outwardly prosperous woman who has a strong family and can consider herself a loser.

If assessment depends on the individual, then increasing self-esteem is quite within the power of every woman.

Reasons for low self-esteem

The reasons lie in childhood. Mom or dad, or both parents with low self-esteem show their children their behavior model. Children prone to adopting copy the behavior of adults and in adulthood also inadequately evaluate themselves.

Another option: parents, instead of raising the child's self-esteem, suppress him psychologically. They constantly point out imperfections, scold and punish for every minor mistake, call children stupid, ugly, unworthy.

A major failure can form low self-esteem in an adult, prosperous person. The loss of a stable job, the departure of a loved one, financial problems cause long-term depression and inadequate self-assessment.

Whatever the reason, increasing self-esteem is necessary for women. A real look at things is half the success in any field, be it personal life, work, creativity, raising children.

Why is it important to increase self-esteem?

To achieve goals, to live in harmony with the world and oneself, to raise healthy children, to be in a good mood, to realize oneself in a career and creativity - all this can be achieved by getting rid of psychological problems.

How to raise self-esteem?

The psychology of a woman is such that increasing self-esteem is a slow process. For the result to be sustainable, actions must be regular.

Features of behavior that interfere with normal self-esteem:

1. Comparing yourself to others. People differ from each other in many ways and it makes no sense to compare.
2. Unreasonable self-criticism. Calling yourself a loser, unworthy, and other similar words is tantamount to suggesting negative qualities to yourself.
3. Not accepting compliments. Remember how to say: “You look great”, they answered: “Nothing like that, everything is as usual”. This is how you reject compliments. Next time, try to answer differently: “Yes, I try, thanks!”
4. Constant complaints. Sometimes it's hard to resist the temptation to complain about life, but think about it, maybe it's worth solving problems, not complaining about them.
5. Indecision. Try not to delay making decisions and act according to your plan.

Practical tips for boosting self-esteem:

1. Write down a list of your achievements and positive qualities. Constantly review and regularly supplement the list with new achievements, even small ones. This helps boost self-esteem.
2. Make time for the figure. Sign up for a gym, swimming pool, fitness club. Attractive appearance increases self-esteem.
3. Refresh your image. For example, make a more successful hairstyle, manicure. Buy new clothes, accessories.
4. Meditation. Take time for self-knowledge, a calm, peaceful stay alone with yourself, listen to harmonious music, light an aroma lamp. These procedures will help you tune in the right way and distract from negative thoughts.

Remember - life is beautiful! Enjoy every moment, try to be in a good mood as often as possible, respect and appreciate yourself. Know that you are worthy. Whatever the psychology of a woman was initially: how to increase self-esteem - every lady can learn.

Be with us, let's develop together!

Article content:

Self-esteem is considered to be the most important structural component of the self-concept of a person. Among its main functions are regulatory and protective. They influence the activity and development of the individual, determine its relationship with other people and affect behavior in society. Personal self-esteem is constantly changing and improving. Therefore, the result of self-evaluation is never final. The constant development of the personality changes the idea of oneself.

The problem of low self-esteem

Many actions and success of a person depend on the level of self-esteem. Very often, a woman's ideas about her capabilities are much lower than her real potential. Low self-esteem can interfere with relationships with the opposite sex, lead a man to, create career problems, provoke neurosis and even addiction. In this case, it is important to know how to increase a woman's self-esteem and confidence. Adequate, sufficiently high self-esteem allows a lady, regardless of the opinions of others, to follow her life plan and be guided by her principles. In this case, a woman feels comfortable in any life circumstances, easily establishes new contacts, is resistant to criticism, and has a large reserve of internal strength to solve emerging problems. That is why in the modern world it is important to know how to love yourself and increase a woman's self-esteem.

What causes low self-esteem

Women's self-esteem can be defined as a very personal and subjective formation of the psyche, which determines how an individual relates to his own personality, how he evaluates his potential, capabilities, abilities, social status. When interested in how to raise self-esteem, a woman should remember that she tends to evaluate herself as much as the people around her do. The formation of self-esteem occurs under the influence of many factors, among which the evaluation of the personality by others plays an important role. Low self-esteem is characterized by many difficulties. Such women perceive their achievements and success as an accident, tend to underestimate themselves, are particularly vulnerable and anxious, distrustful and afraid to hear a negative opinion about themselves. To learn how to increase self-esteem, a woman should read the advice of psychologists on this issue.

Enemies of female self-esteem

The following points can form low self-esteem:

tendency to self-criticism;
"excellent student syndrome";
parental settings;
lack of self-respect.

Psychologist's advice - how to increase self-esteem for a woman

Increasing self-esteem is quite real, despite the fact that this process takes quite a long time. The first step towards solving this problem is its awareness. Instead of self-condemnation, try to look at yourself and your behavior honestly, analyze it without any criticism. Do not try to guess the meaning of such concepts as "normal", "correct" or "incorrect". The following tips will tell you how to increase a woman's self-esteem:

you need to stop scolding, be critical of yourself, your actions, and also forget about blaming yourself. All negative statements about yourself or your abilities, attempts should be stopped. In order to correct self-esteem, you need to get rid of bad thoughts about your appearance, career or relationships;
compliments said by other people should be answered with “thank you”. By rejecting compliments with her disagreement or distrust, a woman forms in herself the feeling that she is not worthy of praise;
use books, audio and video materials, attend seminars that are devoted to this problem. Any information can penetrate the mind and affect the increase in self-esteem. Watching negative programs on TV, reading crime chronicles and other similar materials does not contribute to self-esteem;
communication with self-confident and positive-minded individuals who are able to provide moral support at the right time will be useful. Surrounding herself with negative people who do not share your ideas, a woman will notice a decrease in self-esteem;
to solve the problem - how to increase a woman's self-esteem - psychology also advises the use of affirmations, that is, pronouncing a small verbal formula to fix one or another desired setting in the subconscious;
creating a list of all past achievements and regularly rereading this information;
the formation of a list that includes the positive qualities of a woman. Here it is important to indicate as many advantages as possible. Concentrating on the positive qualities of her personality, a woman gets more chances to get the desired result;
try not to do things that bring negative emotions. In such situations, you should not ask questions from the series "". A job you don't like or another activity you despise is not capable of boosting self-esteem. If it is impossible to change an uninteresting type of activity, a woman is advised to find a hobby that will bring joy.

Every woman should not forget that she is a unique person with a huge number of opportunities and potential. High self-esteem will contribute to the disclosure of true abilities, bring peace of mind.

Orthodox calendar

Thursday, March 21, 2019(March 8 O.S.)
Week 2 of Great Lent
Rev. Theophylact Spanish, Bishop. Nicomedia (842-845)
Saints' Day:
Ap. Yerma (I). Shmch. Theodoret, presbyter of Antioch (361-363). Prmch. Dometia Persian (363). Prpp. Lazar (1391) and Athanasius (XV) of Murmansk (Murom), Olonets.
Memorial Day of Confessors and New Martyrs of the Russian Church:
Shmch. John of the Sign presbyter (1923); mch. Vladimir Ushkov (1942).
Day of veneration of the icons of the Mother of God:
Icon of the Mother of God "The Sign" of the Kursk-Root (1898).
Great post.
Marriage is not performed during Great Lent.
Readings of the day
Gospel and Apostle:
For eternity: - Gen.5:1-24; Proverbs 6:3-20 At the 6th hour:- Isaiah 6:1-12
Psalter:
Morning: - Ps.91-100; Ps.101-104; Ps.105-108 For eternity: - Ps.119-133