Jokes - pictures, video jokes, funny stories and anecdotes. Bad advice: how not to go to school

Let's admit to ourselves: at least once in our lives, each of us has had the desire not to go to school. Just an incredible desire! Today we will delight young tricksters and tell you several reliable ways to skip school without consequences.

Ways to skip school with flying colors

Since you have already decided for sure that you want to skip school, let it be on your conscience. Just try our methods!

Method one

It is suitable only for those guys who get good grades. How can an excellent student skip school? Easy - taking advantage of your reputation. All you need is a little artistry and playing on the feelings of the parents. And since the most sensitive parent is mom, we boldly go to her and say that we didn’t have time to do our homework and there’s no point in going tomorrow, it will only get worse. If you try, your mother herself will come up with an excuse for you to skip school.

Method two, how to skip school

Lie to your parents that school tomorrow is evil. You urgently need to prepare for some kind of conference and you can’t waste a minute! Yes, there is a risk of being locked in a room preparing for a non-existent conference. But since we have already taken the path of lies, it’s time to complete the picture! Tell me that you need to prepare with Ivan Ivanovich, the new leader of your circle. Why new? Yes, because your ancestors may have the “old” number! The risk justifies the means, try it.

The third way to skip school

Don't want to involve your parents? It is necessary to act locally, at the school itself! Lie to the teachers that you were late in the library. Or you were accidentally locked in some office. The advantage of this method of skipping school is that it is almost impossible to check whether you are lying or not. The downside is time away. It is unlikely that they will believe you if you walk like this for several days in a row.

The fourth way to get out of school

Method for older grades:

Guys are often called to military registration and enlistment offices;
Girls have unscheduled medical examinations.

Is the hint clear? But often one will not get away with such an excuse: it is a very unrealistic situation when a guy is called by the military registration and enlistment office three times a week. And girls can complain about “certain complications” no more than once a month.

The fifth way to skip school

The method is smart and effective. Before using it, make sure that the class teacher is not in close contact with your parents. Otherwise it will be bo-bo!

Ask a friend to send an SMS message to your mobile phone with a text asking for help. The meaning is this: as if your mother is asking you to urgently appear at home due to force majeure. Well, a pipe burst or the dog got sick. Then rename your friend’s contact in the phone book to the banal “mom” - and show it to the teacher. Effect 100%! Warning: do not use frequently!

The best seventh way

Of course, you already guessed it. Simulation of illness! Yes, this method of skipping school has long saved entire generations of schoolchildren from hated knowledge. And why don't we take advantage? The main thing to remember here is no deviations. If you decide to skip school this way, you have no friends. Simply NO friends! No one should have to guess that you are faking. Otherwise, it may end in embarrassment and ridicule of you as a bad artist and a liar.

You can feign illness right at school. Approach the teacher, first putting on a “sick” look and declaring in a sad voice that you have a bad headache (stomach, etc.), ask to leave class to go home or to the first aid station. Usually, if you do not abuse this method, teachers are released from the lesson; this method is most suitable for a physical education lesson.

But you can feign illness at home, in the morning. If everything is done correctly, your parents will leave you at home, but it is important to convince them that something is just really hurting you today and you need to sit quietly at home and not call an ambulance.

This is how you can get out of school. You should not deliberately get sick or use dangerous methods that could harm your health. Remember, knowledge is power! And if you have already decided to skip school, then lie! And he started to lie - lie to the bitter end!

Probably, everyone during their school years had cases when they really didn’t want to go to school - or you didn’t prepare for a test. Or they definitely have to ask you, but you don’t hit the nail on the head, so a bad mark is guaranteed. Or a showdown with the director is scheduled for today after your next fight or broken glass. There could be a million reasons. What excuses can teachers and parents come up with to avoid going to school?

Excuses for teachers

Excuse #1
In order not to go to the first 2-3 lessons, it’s enough to just skip, and then go up to the teacher and say that you had a medical examination at the clinic. Or I went to see an endocrinologist at the Institute of Endocrinology. The name of the doctor’s specialization should be tricky and unconventional, otherwise they won’t believe it. In the same way, you can leave after the first lesson, saying that you need to go to an appointment with an endocrinologist.

Excuse #2
In our age of technology, every student has a mobile phone. After the first lesson, tell the teacher that your mother called and asked you to urgently pick up your younger sister (brother) from kindergarten because she (he) has a high temperature. Mom can’t leave work, dad is also very busy, and grandma lives in another city. Therefore, today you will look after the sick child.

Excuse #3
You hide your backpack at school, and when class starts, you are loudly indignant and shout that the backpack with all the textbooks and notebooks has disappeared, and you guess where it could have been hidden. You leave to look and come to the end of the lesson. Don't forget to get your backpack a little dirty so you can say you found it at the stadium or in the cleaners' back room. The main thing is to look very upset.

Excuse #4
Come with your finger (or fingers) wrapped in a bandage and say that you knocked them out while playing basketball (volleyball). Broken fingers become very swollen and painful. Thus, you can not write for a whole week, but this will not save you from verbal responses.

Excuse #5
Stay up all night at the computer. In the morning your eyes will be red and swollen. Approach the teacher with a sad look and say that you feel very bad, you have a headache and a sore throat. Your appearance will confirm this. If you are sent to the first aid station and it turns out that you do not have a temperature, then tell the nurse that your temperature rarely rises above 37, but you feel that you are getting sick.

Excuses for parents

Excuse #1
The simplest and most convincing one is that you are sick. To get really sick, all you have to do is wash your hair and stand on the balcony with wet hair until you freeze. You can also stand barefoot. If you are too lazy to wash your hair, then just put on a wet T-shirt and spend 20-30 minutes on the street or balcony, especially in windy weather. But remember - only you are responsible for your health! Already at night you will have a sore throat and runny nose, your temperature may even rise. However, you should not get sick before the weekend or vacation, otherwise you have a chance to spend all your free time blowing your nose and swallowing medications.

Excuse #2
If you don’t really want to get sick, you can pretend to be unwell. In the evening, skip dinner, say you don’t feel well, and go to bed early. In the morning, get up looking sad, go to the toilet and pretend to vomit. Say that you feel sick, probably yesterday’s pie from the cafeteria was stale. Guaranteed - you won’t be allowed into school that day. But we don’t recommend pretending to be the same tomorrow – you risk ending up in the hospital for examination.

Excuse #3
You can pretend to feel unwell by first washing your face for a long time with very hot water and rubbing your cheeks well with a hard towel. You come out of the bathroom with red burning cheeks and report that you have a really bad headache. They make you take your temperature. You take a thermometer and rub its thin part (where the mercury is) on your pants. Or you apply it to the battery. Just don't overdo it! Make sure that the temperature is no more than 38, otherwise they will call an ambulance and the deception will be revealed, and even a scandal will result.

Excuse #4
We can say that tomorrow your class is going on an excursion. It takes too long to get ready in the morning for parents to rush and say, “You’ll be late!” Then leave and soon return upset, saying that you were really late and the bus had already left.

Excuse #5
You can also go to school and return 15-20 minutes later, telling your parents that the heating in the school has broken down, the classrooms are cold, repair work is underway and everyone has been sent home.

Excuse #6
Or say that the school undergoes a medical examination of all schoolchildren. Doctors said that today they are examining only girls (or only boys), or only grades 1-4, and the rest have been sent home.

In general, my mother is also a person, and she, too, during her school years did not always want to go to school. Tell me how tired you are, how you would like to just sleep one day, and tomorrow you promise to work out with a vengeance. And just ask her to leave you at home once. We are sure that mom will understand and allow it! And there will be no need to lie and come up with excuses, because there is nothing secret that would not become obvious. And for absenteeism you will have to answer to both parents and teachers.

By the end of the quarter, every student who respects himself and values his time thinks about how not to go to school without getting anything for it. It was so twenty, fifty, a hundred years ago, it is so now, and it will continue to be so until compulsory attendance at educational institutions is abolished. Today, just taking a walk, going to the movies instead of lessons, or wandering around the streets is rarely possible: the city is unsafe, entertainment requires money, and in schools the presence of students is increasingly being monitored by technicians - that a child did not pass through the turnstile or broke out in the middle of the day. freedom, parents will receive the message immediately. This means that you will have to invent a way to get permission for an extra day off.

The oldest, most effective and affordable way to stay home on a workday is simulation. Just don’t be like Inochkin’s friends, who jumped into the nettles and acted out the symptoms so artistically that the doctors were afraid of the epidemic. Most parents do not wish harm to their child and do not want complications from the missed onset of the disease, so one day of bed rest will not prevent the problem. It is not at all necessary to heat the thermometer to a critical temperature and become delirious. Symptoms of any mild illness are weakness, lethargy, loss of appetite and upset stomach. It is enough to complain about feeling unwell, report a headache, refuse dinner and sit quietly instead of the usual running around, and the parents will take out a thermometer and offer tea with lemon. If a runny nose is naturally added to this, it will be more convincing, and frequent runs to the toilet will cause concern and bed rest for at least one day.

As a rule, mothers, fathers and grandmothers are in no hurry to call a doctor if the child does not seem to have a fever or is suffering, but is only slightly ill. To monitor the progress of the disease and to avoid the potential spread of infection, the sad, lethargic, running to the toilet student will be left at home. It is dangerous to simulate any other, more serious symptoms - parents can use pills that will certainly ruin good health.

If one of the parents or grandmother is always at home, then you can justify absenteeism by some kind of cultural outing. Yes, so it happened: tomorrow is the last day of the photo exhibition that you have been dreaming of going to for several years, saw it in a dream, counted the days - and then there was some kind of school. Or the circus with bears is leaving, and you still haven’t seen Kopatych on a bicycle. Or a meeting with your favorite children's writer in the library - you've already prepared autograph books. The main thing is that the events are not fictitious, and indeed the appointed day is the last chance to get there. The Internet will help you find such an event, but it is worth considering that parents will not always understand the desire to participate in the WoT tournament - the trip really should be cultural.

At school, students are often asked to prepare for some events, write reports or essays, and create some projects. Surely a couple of such tasks are on your list. If you don’t want to go to school, embellish a little the urgency and importance of your work, note that the teachers and even the director hope that the day after tomorrow you will bring a ready-made delightful solution, but you don’t have time at all. Therefore, the only chance not to upset the teaching staff and not lose face is to stay at home and carry out an important assignment. Most parents will grumble about the need to get work done on time, but will allow the heroic child to spend the school day on homework. True, it will have to be done, and done well.

The most honest way not to go to school is to simply tell your mom or dad that you don’t want to go there tomorrow. And explain why. Let’s say that for getting a D on a test, a math student will call you a blockhead in front of everyone, and this is insulting and shameful, so it’s better to spend the day studying the material at home and doing extra work, and next time be prepared. Or talk about the fatigue that has accumulated during the quarter, explain that a schoolchild is also a person, and if dad can take a day off, then so can the child. One extra day off is not irresponsibility and laziness, but rational use of your time, so there will be no gap in knowledge. If the reasons are personal, also honestly state them: about a fight with a neighbor at your desk, about a school conflict that will lose its severity within a day, and the nerves will calm down on all sides. Such honesty is captivating, and most parents, having heard the arguments of an almost adult, will agree with them.

How to avoid going to school at all? You need good reasons for this. Of course, parents will not listen to an offended first-grader, but a serious high school student can talk about external studies or home schooling. For example, this is what they do when they are going to become a student at a reputable university, and studying foreign subjects is distracting, or they have already been studied at the general educational level.

Skipping school can be quite difficult. If you're going to pretend to be sick, taking a day off from school will require some preparation and considerable acting ability. Even if you miss class for a valid reason, unfinished assignments will accumulate. But there are days when you have absolutely no energy to go to school! It is for such cases that you will need our tips on how to convince your parents to keep you at home - for real or fictitious reasons.

Steps

Part 1

Let's pretend

Plan ahead. It's more likely that your parents will believe you when you get up in the morning and say you're not feeling well if you set the stage the previous evening.

The sooner you start pretending to be sick, the more time you have to show how your condition is getting worse. Show some fatigue the night before. For example, instead of walking outside after school, stay home and lie in your room.
Be lethargic in front of your parents. They should get the impression that you are tired and have no energy. In the evening, do not stick to your usual routine. If you are watching TV, lie down and show no interest in anything. You should also go to bed earlier and make sure your parents notice.
Add fire to the performance - eat very little at dinner or try to eat something, but clutch your stomach as if you were in sharp pain. Say you don't feel well. Naturally, skip dessert. You can also ask your parents to give you some hot tea to calm your stomach.
Tell your parents that your classmate threw up at school or that your friend missed school. Make sure it's a friend your parents don't know. This information will add fuel to the fire.

Demonstrate symptoms. Outwardly visible symptoms, such as a rash, are difficult to portray convincingly, so in most cases you should show external signs of internal pain.

Be unobtrusive but convincing. One of the biggest mistakes is overacting. If you act out your imaginary illness too dramatically, your parents may catch on to the falsehood.
- It's best to act out a simple ailment rather than pretend you have some illness that requires proof. Trying to make a vomiting sound can be quite risky, as your parents may catch you in a lie. Likewise, if you want to fake a high temperature and dip the thermometer into something hot, it may backfire on you.
- Don't protest too much when your parents ask you not to go to school. You may find that acting out your worries about missing class may be more convincing, while trying too hard to stay home may make you suspicious. But don't forget that if you really felt as terrible as you pretend to, your parents wouldn't have to convince you to stay home. Be hesitant before you agree, but don't act like you're too worried about missing school, especially if that worry doesn't apply to your role.
Don't get better too quickly. Never forget that your parents may take you to school later if they realize that you have recovered or that you were faking it. If you want to skip school by pretending to be sick, you should maintain that imaginary illness throughout the school day.
- You should recover gradually throughout the day. Rest and be relaxed. By lunchtime, you might mention that you're starting to feel better, but you're not recovered yet. By late evening your recovery should be almost complete.
Don't pretend to be sick too often. If you pretend to be sick too often, your parents may not believe you when you actually feel sick and need to stay home.

Part 2
We don't pretend
1. Tell your parents if you are sick. This is the most common reason why students miss school. If you really don't feel well or think you might be sick, tell your parents and ask to be kept at home.
  
  Stay home if you experience any shock. For example, if you recently lost a family member, friend, or other person you were close to, your grief is a valid reason to stay home from school. Be honest with your parents about how much the loss has affected you.
  - If tragedy befalls you but not your parents, you may think it will be difficult for them to understand you. Grief is a universal emotion, and most people can put themselves in your shoes and give you time to process the loss.
  - However, you should understand that the period of sadness must end someday. Intense sadness can last for quite a long time, and you may find it difficult to extricate yourself from the situation. If you feel that after a few days to a week you are still unable to go to school, you may want to talk to a psychologist and ask for help with your grief.
2. Be honest if you are being bullied at school. If you are the victim of a bully or group of bullies at school, talk to your parents or other people close to you about it. Explain how difficult your school life has become as a result of bullying, and ask to be allowed to stay away from school for a day or two until things settle down.
  
  Ask to skip school. Tell Mom and Dad you want to spend a special day with them and let them take the day off from work. This plan might work especially if you're about to graduate from high school and enroll in higher education in another city, or if it will be an easy work day for you and your parents (for example, you don't have any tests and your parents don't have urgent assignments at work ).
  
  Get permission for a “mental health” day. It's important to talk to your parents about anxiety and stress. Adults often forget how difficult school life can be, when in fact, stress levels during school are quite high. If you're experiencing normal school-related stress, you may find it more helpful to deal with it and get through it. If stress, anxiety and depression become more serious problems, talk to a parent or counselor and ask for a day away from school.
  - If you think you may be developing a serious mental health problem, such as depression or anxiety, ask your parents to make an appointment with your doctor. This may signal the seriousness of your problem to your parents, and if you do have some kind of disorder, then going to the doctor will help you monitor your condition.
3. Stay at home if weather or environmental conditions require it. If there is a severe storm, flooding, or other circumstances that make traveling to school dangerous, your school may close for a period of time. If the weather conditions are dangerous, but the school does not close for some reason, you are better off staying home early.
  - Parents or teachers can usually help you determine if the weather conditions are severe enough to warrant staying home, so you may not have to convince anyone of anything. If your parents are staying home because of the weather, they will be more willing to keep you home too.
4. Consider other special circumstances. A family vacation or a visit from a distant relative may be a reason to miss school, but don't miss school for such reasons too often. Compare what you might miss if you go to school versus what you might miss if you stay home, and discuss with your parents whether you should miss school.
  - Please note that the school does not usually consider such reasons valid. If your school is one of these, you should tell your parents so that they inform the school that you will be absent, without explaining the reason.
  - Typically, if you know in advance that you will be absent from school, it is a good idea for your parent or guardian to write a note that you can bring a few days in advance. This will give teachers time to prepare assignments for you.
Part 3
We're stalling for time
1. Be late on purpose. Incorporate some delays into your morning routine, finishing your morning routine a few minutes later so that you won't be able to get to school on time.
  - Dress very slowly. Get your breakfast dirty so you have to change clothes. Get dressed again...very slowly.
  - Pretend that you can't find something you need, like one shoe or a pair of sportswear. Find it eventually, but let it take you 5-10 minutes.
  - Complain loudly that you are having a bad day; shed a tear if necessary. If you're lucky, your parent will sympathize with you and let you stay at home.
  - Understand that your tardiness affects others, such as your parents, who need to be at work on time. Realize that you are putting their job at risk and decide if missing school is worth it.
2. Miss the bus. Missing the bus could be an accident, or it could be a plan. In any case, if you miss the bus, you may not get to school if your parents leave for work early in the morning or if they don't have time to drive you to school.
  
  Lose an item. You can't go to school without your textbooks or homework flash drive, right? Search everywhere. The more cluttered your home is, the easier it will be for you to prolong your search so you'll be late for school.
  - The smaller the item, the easier it is to “lose” it. For example, your mom will have a hard time believing that you lost your backpack or laptop.
  - The more important the item, the more likely it will seem that you will skip school if you don't find it. Losing glasses or contact lenses, for example, is more important than losing a notebook, as it will affect your ability to study throughout your workday (and depending on how poor your eyesight is, it may also affect whether you will you bump into things).
  - If you drive to school by yourself, you may lose your keys. However, if this becomes a habit, the consequences may be bad (for example, your parents may not allow you to drive to school and will force you to take the bus to get there).
Call the school yourself if allowed. In the majority educational institutions The student's parent or guardian is required to call, regardless of age, but some schools allow the student to call.
Get a doctor's note. If you have a long-term illness, your school may require a doctor's note from you, your parents, guardians or other family members stating that you are indeed ill and need time to recover.
- A certificate from a pediatrician or therapist will be required if your illness continues beyond a certain time. The exact timing may vary from school to school, so you may want to check your school's rules to know at what point a doctor's note becomes mandatory. This time usually varies from 3 to 10 days, 10 days is usually more common.

Warnings

Face the real reason. Ask yourself why you don't want to go to school. If you want to hide from an abuser or avoid another serious problem, you should better look for solutions to the problem rather than run away from it. This will make your life happier and healthier in the future.
Don't skip school. Go through all the options your school provides for accounting for absences. If you skip school without a reason or a call from your parents, you will be considered truant and you could get into serious trouble as a result.
Find out what you're missing. You will have a harder time catching up with your grade in some subjects than in others. Before staying home from school, you might want to think about how difficult it will be for you to catch up with class when you return, and whether missing school is worth the effort. This is especially important if you are pretending to be sick or staying home for a reason that is not very important.
Consider the consequences. You can stay home for a real reason, or pretend to be sick if you don't have a real reason to be absent. Either way, missing one or more days of school can make your life more difficult later on.

Let's pretend

Stay home if you are in any kind of shock

For example, if you recently lost a family member, friend, or other person you were close to, your grief is a valid reason to stay home from school. Be honest with your parents about how much the loss has affected you.

If tragedy befalls you but not your parents, you may think it will be difficult for them to understand you. Grief is a universal emotion, and most people can put themselves in your shoes and give you time to process the loss.
However, you should understand that the period of sadness must end someday. Intense sadness can last for quite a long time, and you may find it difficult to extricate yourself from the situation. If you feel that after a few days to a week you are still unable to go to school, you may want to talk to a psychologist and ask for help with your grief.

Be honest if you are being bullied at school

If you are the victim of a bully or group of bullies at school, talk to your parents or other people close to you about it. Explain how difficult your school life has become as a result of bullying, and ask to be allowed to stay away from school for a day or two until things settle down.

Many students make the mistake of not talking about being bullied. You may worry that you will be seen as weak, called a wimp, or that you will make things worse by talking about it. Nothing will get better if you don't take steps to stop bullying, and during the teenage years, asking parents, teachers, and other adults for help is one of the most effective ways to stop bullying.
Bullying can have long-term effects, such as causing anxiety, depression or insomnia. Protect your future by speaking up about bullying when it occurs.

Ask to skip school

Tell Mom and Dad you want to spend a special day with them and let them take the day off from work. This plan might work especially if you're about to graduate from high school and enroll in higher education in another city, or if it will be an easy work day for you and your parents (for example, you don't have any tests and your parents don't have urgent assignments at work ).

Get permission for a “mental health” day

It's important to talk to your parents about anxiety and stress. Adults often forget how difficult school life can be, when in fact, stress levels during school are quite high. If you're experiencing normal school-related stress, you may find it more helpful to deal with it and get through it. If stress, anxiety and depression become more serious problems, talk to a parent or counselor and ask for a day away from school.

If you think you may be developing a serious mental health problem, such as depression or anxiety, ask your parents to make an appointment with your doctor. This may signal the seriousness of your problem to your parents, and if you do have some kind of disorder, then going to the doctor will help you monitor your condition.

Stay at home if weather or environmental conditions require it

If there is a severe storm, flooding, or other circumstances that make traveling to school dangerous, your school may close for a period of time. If the weather conditions are dangerous, but the school does not close for some reason, you are better off staying home early.

Parents or teachers can usually help you determine if the weather conditions are severe enough to warrant staying home, so you may not have to convince anyone of anything. If your parents are staying home because of the weather, they will be more willing to keep you home too.

Be late on purpose

Incorporate some delays into your morning routine, finishing your morning routine a few minutes later so that you won't be able to get to school on time.

Dress very slowly. Get your breakfast dirty so you have to change clothes. Get dressed again...very slowly.
Pretend that you can't find something you need, like one shoe or a pair of sportswear. Find it eventually, but let it take you 5-10 minutes.
Complain loudly that you are having a bad day; shed a tear if necessary. If you're lucky, your parent will sympathize with you and let you stay at home.
Understand that your tardiness affects others, such as your parents, who need to be at work on time. Realize that you are putting their job at risk and decide if missing school is worth it.

Miss the bus

Missing the bus could be an accident, or it could be a plan. In any case, if you miss the bus, you may not get to school if your parents leave for work early in the morning or if they don't have time to drive you to school.
Arrive at the bus stop just as the bus leaves. You don't want your plan to miss the bus to seem too obvious. However, you should take a long time to walk home from the bus stop after missing the bus. If you're lucky, your parents won't have time to drop you off at school by the time you get home.
If your parents are no longer there when you miss the bus, be sure to let them know after it is too late for them to come back for you. You should sound a little disappointed about missing class so your parents don't suspect that you missed the bus on purpose. You might mention, for example, that you're sorry to miss a really cool experiment that should have happened in chemistry, physics, or biology class.
If one parent is still at home after you miss the bus, they may offer to give you a ride to school on the way to work. Act out a scene about how you don't want your parent to be late for work. Tell him that you are prepared for the consequences that may arise from your tardiness, but you do not want your tardiness to affect your parent's work. However, don't push too hard. It may be very easy for your parents to spot a lie.

Lose an item

You can't go to school without your textbooks or homework flash drive, right? Search everywhere. The more cluttered your home is, the easier it will be for you to prolong your search so you'll be late for school.

The smaller the item, the easier it is to “lose” it. For example, your mom will have a hard time believing that you lost your backpack or laptop.
The more important the item, the more likely it will seem that you will skip school if you don't find it. Losing glasses or contact lenses, for example, is more important than losing a notebook, as it will affect your ability to study throughout your workday (and depending on how poor your eyesight is, it may also affect whether you will you bump into things).
If you drive to school by yourself, you may lose your keys. However, if this becomes a habit, the consequences may be bad (for example, your parents may not allow you to drive to school and will force you to take the bus to get there).

We provide documentary evidence

Encourage your parent or guardian to call the school. This is standard procedure. Your parent or guardian will have to call the school and explain that you will not be able to attend.
- For most schools, a call from a parent or guardian will be sufficient. In schools with stricter rules, however, you will have to resort to an official exemption, so you will need to check the school rules. The essence of this practice is to reduce the number of unexcused absences and keep records of illnesses.
Call the school yourself if allowed. Most schools require the student's parent or guardian to call, regardless of age, but some schools allow the student to call.
Get a doctor's note. If you have a long-term illness, your school may require a doctor's note from you, your parents, guardians or other family members stating that you are indeed ill and need time to recover.
- A certificate from a pediatrician or therapist will be required if your illness continues beyond a certain time. The exact timing may vary from school to school, so you may want to check your school's rules to know at what point a doctor's note becomes mandatory. This time usually varies from 3 to 10 days, 10 days is usually more common.

Typical school excuses

You can warn your parents in advance that tomorrow your class has an excursion, a hike, a competition, an Olympiad, in which you do not want to participate or cannot because you are sick, you were not accepted, etc.
In the end, be late and they may not let you into school, class, excursion, or competition.
Let the teachers themselves “get sick”, or “send” them to a teacher’s competition. Helps!
Being on duty is a wonderful way out of a situation when you don’t know what to think of. Be outraged that everyone was forced to wash and scrub again. Are you a cleaner or something?
In our age of technology, every student has a mobile phone. After the first lesson, tell the teacher that your mother called and asked you to urgently pick up your younger sister (brother) from kindergarten because she (he) has a high temperature. Mom can’t leave work, dad is also very busy, and grandma lives in another city. Therefore, today you will look after the sick child.
You hide your backpack at school, and when class starts, you are loudly indignant and shout that the backpack with all the textbooks and notebooks has disappeared, and you guess where it could have been hidden. You leave to look and come to the end of the lesson. Don't forget to get your backpack a little dirty so you can say you found it at the stadium or in the cleaners' back room. The main thing is to look very upset.
Come with your finger (or fingers) wrapped in a bandage and say that you knocked them out while playing basketball (volleyball). Broken fingers become very swollen and painful. Thus, you can not write for a whole week, but this will not save you from verbal responses.
Stay up all night at the computer. In the morning your eyes will be red and swollen. Approach the teacher with a sad look and say that you feel very bad, you have a headache and a sore throat. Your appearance will confirm this. If you are sent to the first aid station and it turns out that you do not have a temperature, then tell the nurse that your temperature rarely rises above 37, but you feel that you are getting sick.
You can also go to school and return 15-20 minutes later, telling your parents that the heating in the school has broken down, the classrooms are cold, repair work is underway and everyone has been sent home.
Or say that the school undergoes a medical examination of all schoolchildren. Doctors said that today they are examining only girls (or only boys), or only grades 1-4, and the rest have been sent home.
You need to get up in the morning and calmly get ready for school, as if nothing had happened. And even leave home. But you don’t need to come to school, and you don’t need to catch the eye of your classmates (if they are not in the know). They will hand over with all the giblets, that’s how they are! How to spend your time – decide for yourself. We don’t recommend sitting in hallways, but doing something useful, like visiting a movie theater or a cafe with a couple of friends, is always nice. And don’t even think about having a party at home! In the evening, neighbors may inadvertently blurt out to your parents that you were noisy, and then you will have an extremely unpleasant conversation. The consequences can be enormous, even leading you by the hand to the threshold of the school for six months, which will greatly amuse everyone around you, except yourself, of course.
What kind of truancy can bring pleasure? The one where the parents are to blame. It does not always work and is not suitable for everyone. It is required that your parents leave for work before you get up for school and that you have a lock on your door that can only be opened and closed with a key. In the evening you need to quietly say that you have lost the keys to your house. So that your parents seem to hear you, but it seems they don’t. In the morning, sleep peacefully until they leave and lock the door with their key. Then, about 30 minutes later, call your mom and say in a panic that you are already late, and they locked you out, and you warned her the evening before that you had lost your key! We need to groan, sigh, and sigh more. Usually parents are in no hurry to return home to unlock the student. And now, a whole day of legally relaxing at home awaits you! And you are almost not even to blame for what happened.
If neither method works, then you really need to get sick. What you need for this: wash, don’t dry yourself, go out onto the balcony or any cool place, stand for five, ten, fifteen minutes, depending on the temperature “overboard”, your own stamina and the degree of suspicion of your parents. Tonight, most likely, your throat will start to hurt, and tomorrow morning you will have no fever at all.
You can, of course, get hurt on the asphalt or get hurt in a physical education lesson, but falling through with a real broken leg seems like an uninteresting activity.

My head hurts, my throat hurts, my stomach hurts, I had to go to the doctor to check my eyesight, to the dentist, to the pediatrician for an annual examination, but you never know what you can think of!))

ASKA ME!

yes yes leg arm head belly throat all together!!

Well, try “twisting your ankle.” However, there is a risk that they will send you to a doctor.
A little make-up like “bruises under the eyes” and pale foundation and to the teacher - “Oh, I feel so bad, I’m really sick. Maybe I was poisoned by something? We bought smoked fish yesterday, maybe it was stale? “And a hand to your throat. The same can be done for parents - a moaning voice from the toilet, only for a more real reason.

Nadya Tarapata

Ahaha, yes, everything is simple here, take a thermometer and measure the temperature, and when the parents leave, tap your hand with the blunt end several times and the temperature will rise (but only with mercury)) ahaha

asmodeus hfgsdfgd

I remembered my childhood, I personally got up specifically at 5 in the morning, and while the kids were sleeping, I took kefir from the refrigerator, drank it, and ate walnuts, whatever came my way, I ate everything, literally after a couple of hours I got very bloated, and in the toilet I sat there for about an hour, so I didn’t go to school like that 🙂 advice, don’t do this very often, because they’ll burn you because you’re constantly farting before school), one day my dad burned me, he realized something was wrong 🙂 he woke up early and saw that I came in I go to the kitchen and start eating anything, oh, I remember my butt was red, it was painful to sit down 🙂 in general, good luck with your fantasies,

Warnings

Face the real reason. Ask yourself why you don't want to go to school. If you want to hide from an abuser or avoid another serious problem, you should better look for solutions to the problem rather than run away from it. This will make your life happier and healthier in the future.
Don't skip school. Go through all the options your school provides for accounting for absences. If you skip school without a reason or a call from your parents, you will be considered truant and you could get into serious trouble as a result.
Find out what you're missing. You will have a harder time catching up with your grade in some subjects than in others. Before you stay home from school, you might want to think about how difficult it will be for you to catch up with class when you return, and whether missing school is worth the effort. This is especially important if you are pretending to be sick or staying home for a reason that is not very important.
Consider the consequences. You can stay home for a real reason, or pretend to be sick if you don't have a real reason to be absent. Either way, missing one or more days of school can make your life more difficult later on.