About prayers and prayer chants for different occasions. Remembrance of the Dead

Parastas is a special funeral service at Matins, it is performed on the Friday preceding the onset of Ecumenical Parental Saturday (Meat, on the eve of Great Lent, the second, third and fourth weeks of Pentecost, Trinity, before the birthday of the Church, in memory of the descent of the Holy Spirit on the Apostles). These five cases are canonically established when parastas is performed in Orthodox churches. All of them, as can be judged, fall in the first half of the calendar year, from February to June.

This is precisely the meaning of the word, incomprehensible to the neophyte. Parastas is, in essence, a petition to the Almighty on behalf of the departed, proclaimed through the mouth of the Church. The main difference of the especially solemn heartfelt Matins is the priest’s reading of the 17th kathisma of the Psalter (the entire 118th psalm, divided by article). The content of this verse, mistakenly considered “purely funeral”, is a confession of faith, grief over deviations from the Law given by the Creator, a request for mercy and leniency towards human weaknesses. Remembering that “there is no man who will live and not sin,” and the believers present at the service, on their own behalf, together with the choir, repeat the refrains “Savior, save me” and “Blessed are you, Lord.”

Deceased does not mean undead

The Christian tradition posits three birthdays for each person: the first is birth, the second, main event is Holy Baptism, and the third is the transition from the earthly vale, full of sorrows and illnesses, to Eternal Life. Death, personified in church hymns as the servant of hell defeated by the Resurrection of Christ, no longer has power over those believers who have passed into another existence through the Dormition. “Death, where is your sting, hell, where is your victory?” — this questioning contains the confidence that “everyone is alive with God.” It is not for nothing that the days of remembrance of Christian saints fall precisely on the date of their dormition, their return “home” to the Heavenly Creator from a long earthly journey.

Why do the departed need our prayers?

The Creator’s love even for a person who has sinned and strayed from the right path is touchingly depicted in the Gospel parable of the Prodigal Son. However, not everyone during their lifetime manages to return to their father’s threshold, to take the path of repentance, that is, to change for the better, to return to the prototype revealed by the God-man - Christ. Death, which has lost its undivided power, but has not lost its strength, overtakes others on the road. Parastas is the opportunity to continue the path to eternal good through the prayers of the living for those who await the day of the last Judgment, without the opportunity for further repentance. Orthodoxy affirms the possibility of changing the afterlife of a person for the better. The main means for this is Proskomedia - a name commemoration at the Liturgy. The sacred bonds of love allow us to dedicate the works of faith that we perform—alms, church and home prayer—to God on behalf of the departed. Parastas for the deceased is one of the most effective means of helping our loved ones.

The coming Saturday, March 23, will be the first parental Saturday of Lent. How should a believer spend this day with maximum benefit for the soul and for his deceased loved ones? What should you take care of first? How can our participation in worship help those who have passed on to the next world? Why do people bring food to the temple on memorial days? The site answered these and other questions from the clergyman of the Minsk Joy of Sorrow parish, Archpriest Pavel Kivovich, rector of the parish of the Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the village of Staroe Selo, Minsk region.

- Father Pavel, on the eve of parental Saturday Parastas is served, what kind of service is this?

This is the evening service before the funeral Liturgy. Its peculiarity is that , with the recitation of the funeral litany (prayer requests and appeals to God - editor's note), with censing.

- What should be a priority: to get to Parastas or to the Saturday morning service?

In general, daily worship includes the evening service and the Liturgy, which is its peak. The evening service is always preparation for the Liturgy. Therefore, in my opinion, these services are one and the same. And in addition to the Liturgy, after it, the Ecumenical commemoration of the departed is performed, what we call a Requiem Service.

It is impossible to say what is the priority here: Parastas or the funeral Liturgy. If a person is going to receive communion, then there are not even any questions - he comes to the evening service (Parastas) and receives communion at the Liturgy on Saturday. And then he can stay for the Memorial Service, but this is no longer necessary if the person has other important matters.

If the opportunity to stay in the temple allows, then why not stay for the Memorial Service. It won't get worse, but it could be better. Knowing the text of the Memorial Service, you can independently perform the Litia in the cemetery, as it should be.

If a person is not going to receive communion, should he go to the Liturgy, or is it enough to come only to the Panikhida?

Even if a person does not receive communion, prayer during the Liturgy is valuable prayer. If you have the opportunity to come to pray and then also stay for the Memorial Service, then it is better to do so.

Can we say that prayers during the funeral Liturgy and the Ecumenical Memorial Service are especially heard by the Lord?

The Lord said, where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them. And here we are talking about an ecumenical memorial service, all those churches that live according to our Julian calendar, on the same day they all pray together for their departed relatives. I think this has special power before God.

There is an opinion that it will be a special benefit for our deceased if a person takes communion on parental Saturday...

Certainly. Liturgy is the crown of everything, and priests especially feel this. Still, the prayers and preparations of a lay person for the Liturgy are more prayers of a repentant nature and for sanctification through the Holy Gifts. But before the Liturgy, the clergyman reads the prayer of St. Ambrose of Milan, which very clearly says: “We pray to you, Holy Father, for souls the faithful who have passed away, for may this great sacrament of piety be for their deliverance, salvation, joy and eternal joy.”

- But how can a layman explain how his communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ can help a deceased loved one?

Everything is very simple. We understand that by partaking of the Holy Gifts, our nature is not only sanctified, but becomes truly different. And in this “clean” state, our prayer becomes holy, “clean”; it is like a “favorable fragrant censer” to God.

And the opinion that, when praying at the Liturgy, we come into contact with our loved ones, finding ourselves with them in a single timeless space, because they are already in another world, where our concept of time does not exist, and the Liturgy is celebrated outside of time...

How else can we help our loved ones on Parents' Saturday, besides participating in divine services and receiving the Holy Mysteries of Christ?

According to the patristic tradition and what is enshrined in the lives of the saints, offering alms in memory of the departed is an important matter. Many bring food to the church, which is then distributed between the church clergy and the people who work at the parish and participate in social projects. Also, there are always people who can and should be helped - in memory of the deceased, you can give to a beggar.

- Is it true that it is best to bring oil, bread (flour) and wine to the temple as sacrificial products?

I also heard this since childhood (smiles), this is a church tradition, what my grandparents passed on to me. To what extent this is true is difficult to say. But indeed, wine and bread are the gifts from which the Eucharist is prepared.

-What kind of wine is used for the Eucharist?

We always traditionally use Cahors. But you need to understand that this is Cahors not for three kopecks, but high-quality wine from well-known factories.

Bring wine for the Eucharist or a bag of buckwheat for the clergy? Is it possible to say that some kind of sacrifice will be most pleasing to the Lord?

God is pleased with a sincere sacrifice made with zeal, secretly, without self-interest and without regret.

- What if you don’t go to the service on parent’s Saturday, but pray at home at the same time?

The answer is obvious, where two or three are gathered in My name... Of course, the Lord hears every prayer, but He Himself said - they are gathered, and this requires internal effort from a person. And it’s good to sing “Hallelujah” in a chair, but we stand in prayer and make bows, which help us change.

REMEMBRANCE OF THE DEAD

P why do people die?

- “God did not create death and does not rejoice in the destruction of the living, for He created everything for existence” (Wis. 1:13-14). Death appeared as a result of the fall of the first people. “Righteousness is immortal, but unrighteousness causes death: the wicked attracted her with hands and words, considered her a friend and wasted away, and made a covenant with her, for they are worthy to be her lot” (Wis. 1:15-16).

To understand the issue of mortality, it is necessary to distinguish between spiritual and physical death. Spiritual death is the separation of the soul from God, Who for the soul is the Source of eternal joyful existence. This death is the most terrible consequence of the Fall of man. A person gets rid of it in Baptism.

Although physical death after Baptism remains in a person, it takes on a different meaning. From punishment, it becomes the door to heaven (for people who were not only baptized, but also lived in a manner pleasing to God) and it is already called the “dormition.”

What happens to the soul after death?

According to Church Tradition, based on the words of Christ, the souls of the righteous are carried by angels to the threshold of paradise, where they remain until the Last Judgment, expecting eternal bliss: “The beggar died and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom” (Luke 16:22). The souls of sinners fall into the hands of demons and are “in hell, in torment” (see Luke 16:23). The final division into the saved and the condemned will occur at the Last Judgment, when “many of those sleeping in the dust of the earth will awaken, some to eternal life, others to eternal reproach and shame” (Dan. 12:2). In the parable of the Last Judgment, Christ speaks in detail about the fact that sinners who did not do deeds of mercy will be condemned, and the righteous who did such deeds will be justified: “And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life” (Matthew 25). :46).

What do the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after the death of a person mean? What should you do these days?

Holy Tradition preaches to us from the words of holy ascetics of faith and piety about the mystery of testing the soul after its departure from the body. For the first two days, the soul of a deceased person remains on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, walks through those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. This is how the soul spends the first two days, but on the third day the Lord, in the image of His three-day Resurrection, commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him - the God of all. On this day, the church commemoration of the soul of the deceased, who appeared before God, is timely.

Then the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their indescribable beauty. The soul remains in this state for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. The soul stands before the Throne of the Most High with fear and trembling. But even at this time, the Holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the Merciful Judge to place the soul of the deceased with the saints.

After the second worship of the Lord, the Angels take the soul to hell, and it contemplates the cruel torment of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of God. Now her fate is being decided - she is assigned a certain place, which she has been awarded due to her deeds. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They ask for forgiveness of sins and the inclusion of the soul of the deceased in paradise with the saints. On these days, the Church celebrates memorial services and litias.

The Church commemorates the deceased on the 3rd day after his death in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity. Commemoration on the 9th day is performed in honor of the nine ranks of angels, who, as servants of the Heavenly King and representatives to Him, petition for pardon for the deceased. The commemoration on the 40th day, according to the tradition of the apostles, is based on the forty-day cry of the Israelis about the death of Moses. In addition, it is known that the forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparing and receiving a special Divine gift, for receiving the gracious help of the Heavenly Father. Thus, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The prophet Elijah reached Mount Horeb after forty days. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering in the desert. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established the commemoration of the departed on the 40th day after their death, so that the soul of the deceased would ascend the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the bliss promised to it and settle in the heavenly villages with the righteous.

On all these days, it is very important to order the commemoration of the deceased in the Church, submitting notes for commemoration at the Liturgy and memorial service.

What soul does not go through ordeals after death?

From Sacred Tradition it is known that even the Mother of God, having received notification from the Archangel Gabriel about the approaching hour of Her relocation to heaven, prostrated herself before the Lord, humbly begged Him so that, at the hour of the exodus of Her soul, She would not see the prince of darkness and hellish monsters, but so that the Lord Himself would accept Her soul into His Divine embrace. It is all the more useful for the sinful human race to think not about who does not go through ordeals, but about how to go through them, and to do everything to cleanse the conscience and correct life according to the commandments of God. “The essence of everything: fear God and keep His commandments, because this is everything for man; For God will bring every work into judgment, even every secret thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:13-14).

What concept of heaven should you have?

Heaven is not so much a place as it is a state of mind; just as hell is suffering stemming from the inability to love and non-participation in the Divine light, so heaven is the bliss of the soul stemming from the excess of love and light, to which the one who has united with Christ fully and completely participates. This is not contradicted by the fact that heaven is described as a place with various “abodes” and “chambers”; all descriptions of paradise are only attempts to express in human language that which is inexpressible and surpasses the human mind.

In the Bible, "paradise" is the garden where God placed man; The same word in the ancient church tradition was used to describe the future bliss of people redeemed and saved by Christ. It is also called the “Kingdom of Heaven,” “the life of the age to come,” “the eighth day,” “the new heaven,” “the heavenly Jerusalem.” The Holy Apostle John the Theologian says: “I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I, John, saw the holy city Jerusalem, new, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven, saying: Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them; they will be His people, and God Himself with them will be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death; There will be no more crying, no crying, no pain, for the former things have passed away. And He who sat on the throne said: Behold, I am creating all things new... I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end; to the thirsty I will give freely from the fountain of living water... And the angel took me up in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, holy Jerusalem, which came down from heaven from God. It has the glory of God... But I did not see a temple in it, for the Lord God Almighty is its temple, and the Lamb. And the city has no need of either the sun or the moon for its illumination; for the glory of God has illuminated it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The saved nations will walk in its light...And nothing unclean will enter into it, nor anyone who practices abomination and lies, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s book of life” (Rev. 21:1-6,10,22-24 ,27). This is the earliest description of heaven in Christian literature.

When reading descriptions of paradise found in theological literature, it is necessary to keep in mind that many Church Fathers talk about the paradise that they saw, into which they were caught up by the power of the Holy Spirit. In all descriptions of paradise, it is emphasized that earthly words can only to a small extent depict heavenly beauty, since it is “inexpressible” and surpasses human comprehension. It also speaks of the “many mansions” of paradise (John 14:2), that is, of different degrees of bliss. “God will honor some with great honors, others with less,” says St. Basil the Great, “because “star differs from star in glory” (1 Cor. 15:41). And since the Father “has many mansions,” He will rest some in a more excellent and higher state, and others in a lower state.” However, for everyone, his “abode” will be the highest fullness of bliss available to him - in accordance with how close he is to God in earthly life. “All the saints who are in paradise will see and know one another, and Christ will see and fill everyone,” says St. Simeon the New Theologian.

What concept should you have of hell?

There is no person deprived of the love of God, and there is no place that is not involved in this love; however, everyone who has made a choice in favor of evil voluntarily deprives himself of God's mercy. Love, which for the righteous in heaven is a source of bliss and consolation, for sinners in hell becomes a source of torment, since they recognize themselves as not participating in love. According to Saint Isaac, “the torment of Gehenna is repentance.”

According to the teachings of the Venerable Simeon the New Theologian, the main reason for a person’s torment in hell is an acute sense of separation from God: “None of the people who believe in You, Master,” writes the Venerable Simeon, “none of those baptized in Your name will endure this great and the terrible severity of separation from You, Merciful One, because this is terrible sorrow, unbearable, terrible and eternal sadness.” If on earth, says the Monk Simeon, those who are not involved in God have bodily pleasures, then there, outside the body, they will experience one incessant torment. And all the images of hellish torment that exist in world literature - fire, cold, thirst, red-hot ovens, lakes of fire, etc. - are only symbols of suffering, which comes from the fact that a person feels not involved in God.

For an Orthodox Christian, the thought of hell and eternal torment is inextricably linked with the mystery that is revealed in the services of Holy Week and Easter - the mystery of Christ’s descent into hell and the deliverance of those there from the dominion of evil and death. The Church believes that after His death, Christ descended into the abysses of hell in order to abolish hell and death, to destroy the terrible kingdom of the devil. Just as by entering the waters of the Jordan at the moment of His Baptism, Christ sanctifies these waters, filled with human sin, so by descending into hell, He illuminates it with the light of His presence to the last depths and limits, so that hell can no longer tolerate the power of God and perishes. Saint John Chrysostom in the Easter Catechetical Sermon says: “Hell was upset when it met You; he was grieved because he was abolished; he was upset because he was ridiculed; he was grieved because he was killed; I was upset because I was deposed.” This does not mean that hell no longer exists at all after the Resurrection of Christ: it exists, but the death sentence has already been passed on it.

Every Sunday, Orthodox Christians hear hymns dedicated to the victory of Christ over death: “The council of angels was surprised, in vain you were imputed to the dead, but the mortal fortress, O Savior, was destroyed... and freed all from hell” (from hell, who freed everyone). Deliverance from hell, however, should not be understood as some kind of magical action performed by Christ against the will of man: for one who consciously rejects Christ and eternal life, hell continues to exist as suffering and the torment of abandonment by God.

How to cope with grief when a loved one dies?

The grief of separation from the deceased can be satisfied only by prayer for him. Christianity does not perceive death as the end. Death is the beginning of a new life, and earthly life is only a preparation for it. Man was created for eternity; in paradise he fed from the “tree of life” (Gen. 2:9) and was immortal. But after the Fall, the path to the tree of life was blocked and man became mortal and corruptible.

But life does not end with death, the death of the body is not the death of the soul, the soul is immortal. Therefore, it is necessary to see off the soul of the deceased with prayer. “Do not give up your heart to sorrow; move her away from you, remembering the end. Do not forget this, for there is no return; and you will not bring him any benefit, but will harm yourself... With the repose of the deceased, soothe his memory, and be comforted about him after the outcome of his soul” (Sir. 38:20-21,23).

What should you do if, after the death of a loved one, you are tormented by your conscience about the wrong attitude towards him during life?

The voice of conscience denouncing guilt subsides and ceases after sincere heartfelt repentance and confession to God to the priest of one’s sinfulness towards the deceased. It is important to remember that with God everyone is alive and the commandment of love also applies to the dead. The deceased are in great need of the prayerful help of the living and alms given for them. A person who loves will pray, give alms, submit church notes for the repose of the departed, strive to live in a manner pleasing to God, so that God will show His mercy for them.

If you constantly remain in active concern for others and do good to them, then not only peace will be established in your soul, but deep satisfaction and joy.

What to do if you dream of a dead person?

You don't need to pay attention to dreams. However, we should not forget that the eternally living soul of the deceased experiences a great need for constant prayer for it, because it itself can no longer do good deeds with which it would be able to appease God. Therefore, prayer in church and at home for deceased loved ones is the duty of every Orthodox Christian.

How many days do people mourn for the deceased?

There is a tradition of mourning for forty days for a deceased loved one. According to the Tradition of the Church, on the fortieth day the soul of the deceased receives a certain place in which it will remain until the time of the Last Judgment of God. That is why, until the fortieth day, intense prayer is required for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased, and the external wearing of mourning is intended to promote internal concentration and attention to prayer, and to prevent active involvement in previous everyday affairs. But you can have a prayerful attitude without wearing black clothes. The internal is more important than the external.

Who is the newly deceased and ever-memorable?

In church tradition, a deceased person is called newly deceased within forty days after death. The day of death is considered first, even if death occurred a few minutes before midnight. On the 40th day of the Church, God (at the private judgment of the soul) determines its afterlife fate until the general Last Judgment prophetically promised by the Savior (see Matt. 25:31-46).

A person is usually called eternally remembered after forty days after his death. Ever-memorable - the word “ever-memorable” means always. And the ever-memorable one is always remembered, that is, the one for whom they always remember and pray. In funeral notes, they sometimes write “of everlasting memory” before the name when the next anniversary of the death of the deceased(s) is celebrated.

How is the last kiss of the deceased performed? Do I need to be baptized at the same time?

The farewell kiss of the deceased occurs after his funeral service in the temple. They kiss the aureole placed on the forehead of the deceased, or apply it to the icon in his hands. At the same time, they are baptized on the icon.

What to do with the icon that was in the hands of the deceased during the funeral service?

After the funeral service for the deceased, the icon can be taken home or left in the church.

What can be done for the deceased if he was buried without a funeral service?

If he was baptized in the Orthodox Church, then you need to come to the church and order an absentee funeral service, as well as order magpies, memorial services and pray for him at home.

How to help the deceased?

It is possible to alleviate the fate of the deceased if you perform frequent prayers for him and give alms. It is good to work for the Church in memory of the deceased, for example, in a monastery.

Why is the remembrance of the dead performed?

Prayer for those who have passed from temporary life to eternal life is an ancient tradition of the Church, sanctified by centuries. Leaving the body, a person leaves the visible world, but he does not leave the Church, but remains its member, and it is the duty of those remaining on earth to pray for him. The Church believes that prayer eases a person’s posthumous fate. While a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. But after death this possibility disappears, only hope remains in the prayers of the living. After the death of the body and private judgment, the soul is on the threshold of eternal bliss or eternal torment. It depends on how the short earthly life was lived. But much depends on prayer for the deceased. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased - right up to their complete justification.

Is it possible to cremate the deceased?

Cremation is a custom alien to Orthodoxy, borrowed from Eastern cults and spread as the norm in a secular (non-religious) society during the Soviet period. Therefore, the relatives of the deceased, if possible to avoid cremation, should prefer burying the deceased in the ground. There is no prohibition in the sacred books to burn the bodies of the dead, but there are positive indications from Christian doctrine of another way of burying bodies - this is burying them in the earth (see: Gen. 3:19; John 5:28; Matt. 27:59-60). This method of burial, accepted by the Church from the very beginning of its existence and sanctified by it with a special rite, stands in connection with the entire Christian worldview and with its very essence - the belief in the resurrection of the dead. According to the strength of this faith, burial in the ground is an image of the temporary euthanization of the deceased, for whom the grave in the bowels of the earth is a natural bed of repose and who is therefore called by the Church the deceased (and in worldly terms, the deceased) until the resurrection. And if the burial of the bodies of the dead instills and strengthens the Christian faith in the resurrection, then the burning of the dead is easily related to the anti-Christian doctrine of non-existence.

The Gospel describes the burial order of the Lord Jesus Christ, which consisted of washing His Most Pure Body, dressing in special funeral clothes and placing in the grave (Matthew 27:59-60; Mark 15:46; 16:1; Luke 23:53 ; 24:1; John 19:39-42). The same actions are supposed to be performed on deceased Christians in the present time.

Cremation may be permissible in exceptional cases when there is no way to bury the body of the deceased.

Is it true that on the 40th day, the commemoration of the deceased must be ordered in three churches at once, or in one, but three services in succession?

Immediately after death, it is customary to order a magpie from the Church. This is a daily intensified commemoration of the newly deceased during the first forty days - until the private trial, which determines the fate of the soul beyond the grave. After forty days, it is good to order an annual commemoration and then renew it every year. You can also order longer-term commemorations in monasteries. There is a pious custom - to order commemoration in several monasteries and churches (their number does not matter). The more prayer books there are for the deceased, the better.

What is eve?

Kanun (or eve) is a special square or rectangular table on which there is a Cross with a Crucifix and holes for candles. Before the eve there are funeral services. Here you can light candles and put food to commemorate the dead.

Why do you need to bring food to the temple?

Believers bring various foods to the temple so that the ministers of the Church will remember the deceased at a meal. These offerings serve as donations, alms for those who have passed away. In former times, in the courtyard of the house where the deceased was, on the most significant days for the soul (3rd, 9th, 40th) funeral tables were set, at which the poor, homeless, and orphans were fed, so that there would be many people praying for the deceased. For prayer and, especially for alms, many sins are forgiven, and the afterlife is made easier. Then these memorial tables began to be placed in churches on the days of the universal remembrance of all Christians who have died since centuries with the same purpose - to remember the departed.

What foods can you put on the eve?

The products can be anything. It is prohibited to bring meat food into the temple.

Which commemoration of the dead is the most important?

Prayers at the Liturgy have special power. The Church prays for all the departed, including those in hell. One of the kneeling prayers read on the feast of Pentecost contains a petition “for those kept in hell” and for the Lord to rest them “in a brighter place.” The Church believes that through the prayers of the living, God can alleviate the afterlife fate of the dead, saving them from torment and worthy of salvation with the saints.

Therefore, it is necessary, in the coming days after death, to order a magpie in the church, that is, a commemoration at forty Liturgies: the Bloodless Sacrifice is offered forty times for the deceased, a particle is taken from the prosphora and immersed in the Blood of Christ with a prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the newly deceased. This is a feat of love from the entirety of the Orthodox Church in the person of the priest who celebrates the Liturgy for the sake of the people commemorated at the proskomedia. This is the most necessary thing that can be done for the soul of the deceased.

What is Parents' Saturday?

On certain Saturdays of the year, the Church commemorates all previously deceased Christians. The memorial services that take place on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called Ecumenical Parental Saturdays. On the morning of Parents' Saturdays, during the Liturgy, all previously deceased Christians are remembered. On the eve of parental Saturday, on Friday evening, parastas is served (translated from Greek as “presence”, “intercession”, “intercession”) - the continuation of the great requiem for all deceased Orthodox Christians.

When are Parents' Saturdays?

Almost all parental Saturdays do not have a fixed date, but are associated with the moving day of Easter celebration. Meat Saturday occurs eight days before the start of Lent. Parents' Saturdays occur on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Lent. Trinity Parental Saturday - on the eve of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension. On the Saturday preceding the day of remembrance of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica (November 8, new style) there is Dimitrievskaya Parental Saturday.

Is it possible to pray for repose after parental Saturday?

Yes, you can and should pray for the repose of the deceased even after parental Saturdays. This is the duty of the living to the dead and an expression of love for them. The deceased themselves can no longer help themselves, they cannot bear the fruits of repentance or give alms. This is evidenced by the Gospel parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31). Death is not a departure into oblivion, but the continuation of the existence of the soul in eternity, with all its characteristics, weaknesses and passions. Therefore, the deceased (except for the saints glorified by the Church) need prayerful commemoration.

Saturday days (except for Great Saturday, Saturday of Bright Week and Saturdays coinciding with the twelve, great and temple holidays) in the church calendar are traditionally considered days of special remembrance of the dead. But you can pray for the departed and submit notes in the church on any day of the year, even when, according to the charter of the Church, no memorial services are served; in this case, the names of the deceased are remembered at the altar.

What other days of remembrance of the dead are there?

Radonitsa - nine days after Easter, on Tuesday after Bright Week. On Radonitsa they share the joy of the Resurrection of the Lord with the deceased, expressing hope for their resurrection. The Savior Himself descended into hell to preach victory over death and brought from there the souls of the Old Testament righteous. Because of this great spiritual joy, the day of this commemoration is called “Rainbow”, or “Radonitsa”.

Special commemoration of all those who died during the Great Patriotic War of 1941-1945. established by the Church on May 9. Warriors killed on the battlefield are also remembered on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist on September 11, according to the new style.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on the anniversary of the death of a close relative?

The main days of remembrance of the deceased are the anniversaries of death and namesake. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased, relatives close to him pray for him, thereby expressing the belief that the day of a person’s death is not a day of destruction, but of a new birth for eternal life; the day of the transition of the immortal human soul to other conditions of life, where there is no longer any place for earthly illnesses, sorrows and sighs.

On this day it is good to visit the cemetery, but first you should come to the church at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration at the altar (better if it is commemorated at a proskomedia), at a memorial service and, if possible, pray during the service.

Is it necessary to go to the cemetery on Easter, Trinity, and Holy Spirit Day?

Sundays and holidays should be spent in prayer in the temple of God, and for visiting the cemetery there are special days of remembrance of the dead - parental Saturdays, Radonitsa, as well as anniversaries of death and namesake days of the deceased.

What to do when visiting a cemetery?

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to clean up the grave. You can light a candle. If possible, invite a priest to perform the litia. If this is not possible, then you can read the short rite of lithium yourself by first purchasing the corresponding brochure in a church or Orthodox store. If you wish, you can read an akathist about the repose of the departed. Just be silent, remember the deceased.

Is it possible to have a “wake” in a cemetery?

Apart from the kutia consecrated in the temple, you should not eat or drink anything at the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka into a grave mound - this insults the memory of the deceased. The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread at the grave “for the deceased” is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox. There is no need to leave food on the grave - it is better to give it to the beggar or the hungry.

What should you eat at a “wake”?

According to tradition, after the burial, a funeral table is assembled. The funeral meal is a continuation of the service and prayer for the deceased. The funeral meal begins with eating the kutia brought from the temple. Kutia or kolivo is boiled grains of wheat or rice with honey. Also traditionally they eat pancakes and sweet jelly. On a fast day, food should be lean. The funeral meal should be distinguished from a noisy feast by reverent silence and kind words about the deceased.

Unfortunately, the bad custom of remembering the deceased with vodka and a hearty snack has taken root. The same thing is repeated on the ninth and fortieth days. This is wrong, since the newly departed soul these days craves special fervent prayer for her to God and certainly not drinking wine.

Is it possible to place a photograph of the deceased on a grave cross?

A cemetery is a special place where the bodies of those who have passed on to another life are buried. Visible evidence of this is the tombstone cross, which is erected as a sign of the redemptive victory of the Lord Jesus Christ over death. Just as the Savior of the world was resurrected, having accepted death for people on the cross, so all the dead will be resurrected physically. People come to the cemetery to pray for them in this place of rest for the dead. A photograph on a grave cross often encourages reminiscence rather than prayer.

With the adoption of Christianity in Rus', the deceased were placed either in stone sarcophagi, with a cross depicted on the lid, or in the ground. A cross was placed on the grave. After 1917, when the destruction of Orthodox traditions became systematic, columns with photographs began to be placed on graves instead of crosses. Sometimes monuments were erected and a portrait of the deceased was attached to them. After the war, monuments with a star and a photograph began to predominate as a headstone. In the last decade and a half, crosses have increasingly begun to appear in cemeteries. The practice of placing photographs on crosses has been preserved from past Soviet decades.

Is it possible to take a dog with you when visiting a cemetery?

Of course, you shouldn’t take your dog to the cemetery for walking. But if necessary, for example, a guide dog for a blind person or for the purpose of protection when visiting a remote cemetery, you can take it with you. The dog should not be allowed to run over the graves.

If a person died on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Easter to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then the Easter Canon is read. Instead of the Psalter, on Bright Week the Acts of the Holy Apostles are read.

Is it necessary to serve a memorial service for a baby?

Dead babies are buried and memorial services are served for them, but in prayers they do not ask for forgiveness of sins, since babies do not consciously commit sins, but they ask the Lord to vouchsafe them the Kingdom of Heaven.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service in absentia for someone who died during the war if the place of his burial is unknown?

If the deceased was baptized, then a funeral service can be performed in absentia, and the soil received after the funeral in absentia can be sprinkled in a cross pattern on any grave in an Orthodox cemetery.

The tradition of performing a funeral service in absentia appeared in the 20th century in Russia due to the large number of those killed in the war, and since it was often impossible to perform a funeral service over the body of the deceased due to the lack of churches and priests, due to the persecution of the Church and persecution of believers. There are also cases of tragic death when it is impossible to find the body of the deceased. In such cases, a funeral service in absentia is permissible.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for an unburied deceased?

Funeral services can be ordered if the deceased was a baptized Orthodox person and not one of the suicide victims. The Church does not commemorate the unbaptized and suicides.

If it becomes known that the buried person was not buried according to the Orthodox rite, then he must be buried in absentia. During the funeral service, in contrast to the requiem service, the priest reads a special prayer for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.

It is important not only to “order” a memorial service and funeral service, but for the relatives and friends of the deceased to take part in them prayerfully.

Is it possible to perform a funeral service for a suicide and pray for his repose at home and in church?

In exceptional cases, after consideration of all the circumstances of suicide by the ruling bishop of the diocese, an absentee funeral service may be blessed. To do this, relevant documents and a written petition are submitted to the ruling bishop, where, with special responsibility for one’s words, all known circumstances and reasons for suicide are indicated. All cases are considered individually. When the bishop allows the funeral service in absentia, the temple prayer for repose becomes possible.

In all cases, for the prayerful consolation of the relatives and friends of a person who has committed suicide, a special prayer rite has been developed, which can be performed whenever the relatives of a person who has committed suicide turn to the priest for consolation in the grief that has befallen them.

In addition to performing this rite, relatives and friends can, with the blessing of the priest, read at home the prayer of the Venerable Elder Leo of Optina: “Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done” and give alms.

Is it true that suicides are commemorated on Radonitsa? What to do if, believing this, they regularly submitted notes to the temple commemorating suicides?

No, that's not true. If a person, out of ignorance, submitted notes to commemorate suicides (the funeral service of which was not blessed by the ruling bishop), then he must repent of this in confession and not do this again. All doubtful questions should be resolved with the priest, and not believe rumors.

Is it possible to order a memorial service for the deceased if he is Catholic?

Private, cell (home) prayer for a heterodox deceased is not prohibited - you can remember him at home, read psalms at the grave. In churches, funeral services are not performed or commemorated for those who never belonged to the Orthodox Church: non-Christians and all those who died unbaptized. The funeral service and requiem service were compiled taking into account the fact that the deceased and the funeral service were a faithful member of the Orthodox Church.

Is it possible to submit notes in church about the remembrance of the deceased who have not been baptized?

Liturgical prayer is prayer for the children of the Church. In the Orthodox Church, it is not customary to remember unbaptized Christians, as well as non-Orthodox Christians, at proskomedia (the preparatory part of the Liturgy). This, however, does not mean that you cannot pray for them at all. Cell (home) prayer for such deceased is possible. Christians believe that prayer can provide great help to the dead. True Orthodoxy breathes the spirit of love, mercy and condescension towards all people, including those outside the Orthodox Church.

The Church cannot remember the unbaptized for the reason that they lived and died outside the Church - they were not its members, were not reborn to a new, spiritual life in the Sacrament of Baptism, did not confess the Lord Jesus Christ and cannot be involved in the benefits that He promised to those who love Him.

For the relief of the fate of the souls of the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism, and of infants who died in the womb or during childbirth, Orthodox Christians pray at home and read the canon to the holy martyr Uar, who has the grace from God to intercede for the dead who were not worthy of Holy Baptism. From the life of the holy martyr Uar, it is known that through his intercession he delivered from eternal torment the relatives of the pious Cleopatra, who revered him, who were pagans.

They say that those who die on Bright Week receive the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?

The posthumous fate of the dead is known only to the Lord. “Just as you do not know the way of the wind and how the bones are formed in the womb of a pregnant woman, so you cannot know the work of God, who does all things” (Eccl. 11:5). Anyone who lived piously, did good deeds, wore a cross, repented, confessed and received communion - by the grace of God, he can be granted a blessed life in eternity, regardless of the time of death. And if a person spent his entire life in sins, did not confess or receive communion, but died on Bright Week, can it be said that he inherited the Kingdom of Heaven?

If a person died in a continuous week before Peter's Lent, does this mean anything?

Doesn't mean anything. The Lord ends the earthly life of each person in due time, providentially caring for each soul.

“Do not hasten death by the errors of your life, and do not attract destruction to yourself by the works of your hands” (Wis. 1:12). “Do not indulge in sin, and do not be foolish: why should you die at the wrong time?” (Eccl. 7:17).

Is it possible to get married in the year of your mother's death?

There is no special rule in this regard. Let your religious and moral feeling itself tell you what to do. On all significant life issues one must consult a priest.

Why is it necessary to receive communion on the days of remembrance of relatives: on the ninth, fortieth days after death?

There is no such rule. But it will be good if the relatives of the deceased get ready and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, having repented, including of sins related to the deceased, forgive him all insults and ask for forgiveness themselves.

Is it necessary to cover the mirror if one of your relatives dies?

Hanging mirrors in the house is a superstition, and has nothing to do with church traditions of burying the dead. Is it necessary to cover a mirror if one of your relatives has died?

The custom of hanging mirrors in a house where a death has occurred partly stems from the belief that whoever sees his own reflection in the mirror of this house will also soon die. There are many “mirror” superstitions, some of them are associated with fortune telling on mirrors. And where there is magic and witchcraft, fear and superstition inevitably appear. Whether a mirror is hung or not has no effect on life expectancy, which depends entirely on the Lord.

There is a belief that before the fortieth day nothing of the deceased’s belongings should be given away. Is this true?

You need to plead for the defendant before the trial, not after it. Therefore, it is necessary to intercede for the soul of the deceased immediately after his death until the fortieth day and after it: pray and perform acts of mercy, distribute the things of the deceased, donate to the monastery, to the church. Before the Last Judgment, you can change the afterlife fate of the deceased through intense prayer for him and alms.

"Teach me Thy justification"

Anyone who listens attentively to the All-Night Vigil cannot help but pay attention to the threefold repetition of the phrase of Great Vespers: “Teach me by Your justification... Enlighten me by Your justification... Enlighten me by Your justifications...” How to correctly understand these ancient words? Why are they repeated three times? How can you learn, come to your senses and become enlightened? justification?

Three times repetition of the phrase “by Thy justification” (from the prayer-song "Vouchsafe, Lord" ) is caused by an appeal to the three Persons of the Holy Trinity. The full text reads: “Blessed are you, God, teach me by Your justification. / Blessed are you, Vladyko, enlighten me with Your justification. / Blessed are you, Saint, enlighten me with Your justifications.” Isn’t it true that we have a complete analogy with the well-known prayer to the Most Holy Trinity: “Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us; God, cleanse our sins; Vladyko, forgive our iniquities; Holy visit and heal our infirmities, for your name’s sake.”

In the “Complete Church Slavonic Dictionary” of Archpriest Grigory Dyachenko the word "justification" translated as “law, institution, position, duty.” So, with what love does the concept sound "law" in Church Slavonic! After all "law" in our understanding, this is something external that influences a person’s life, but "justification"- the law of love, which aims to save a person - through faith in Christ. IN justification by faith Our hope lies not in cold execution letters of the law. In modern language, this phrase might sound like this: “Teach me law Yours." How much richer in content, and in New Testament content, is the word “justification”!

“Explanatory Typikon” by M. Skaballanovich draws our attention to the verse that precedes the threefold word "justification". It sounds like this: “O Lord, be Thy mercy upon us, as we trust in Thee.”. We ask God for mercy, which is expressed in the word “justification.” “Teach me to live according to the law of love, the fulfillment of which can justify me before You!”

In the conversation about commemorating the dead, an important question is often missed: who, in fact, needs such commemoration more - them, or ourselves? It would be endless arrogance and impudence to claim that one of our deceased loved ones has gone to hell, needs help and needs to be begged for. Christians have a commandment not to judge their neighbor during their lifetime. It is all the more absurd to pronounce a sentence on someone who has already completed his earthly journey and has appeared before the judgment of God. We can worry about him, like parents worry about their son who has gone to study in a distant city. But we must not forget that we have a rich and loving relative in this city. Moreover, he is not just rich - he is the most important person in this city and decides all issues there, no matter what they concern. And we should not tear our hearts out with worries - this relative will take care of our son much better than we ourselves. But this concern does not prevent us from sending him letters, parcels with all sorts of goodies and pocket money. The son may not need anything, but our rich relative is very considerate, he does not deprive us of the opportunity to show our love in this way. And when we call and ask him: “Don’t leave our boy there, please! Look after him, help, otherwise we’re worried here!”, this does not mean at all that without our call the son would have been left without support and attention. We just love him, but he left and is now far away. And what else can we do to show our love and care? Just call and send letters with parcels. Likewise, we ourselves need prayer to Christ for our departed no less than those for whom we pray.
Because we all have such a rich relative. This is Christ, Who became man in order to make us His relatives in the flesh. But relatives are not judged impartially, they are judged with love. His court is not our court. It is enough to remember how many times in the Gospel Christ justifies and defends those whom people have condemned, and for the most just reasons.

The essence of the memorial service is the prayerful remembrance of our departed fathers and brothers, who, although they died faithful to Christ, did not completely renounce the weaknesses of fallen human nature and took their weaknesses and infirmities with them to the grave. When performing a requiem service, the Holy Church focuses all our attention on how the souls of the departed ascend from the earth to the Judgment to the Face of God and how with fear and trembling they stand at this Judgment and confess their deeds before the Lord, the Knower of the Heart. The Holy Church presents these terrible moments to us in lofty images. Not daring to anticipate from the Lord the all-justice of the secrets of His Judgment over the souls of our departed loved ones, she proclaims the fundamental law of this Judgment - Divine mercy - and encourages us to pray for the departed, giving complete freedom to our hearts to express themselves in prayerful sighs, to pour out in tears and petitions.

Parastas - (Greek "intercession") - the continuation of the great requiem for all departed Orthodox Christians, performed at the all-night vigil of parental Saturdays (served on Friday evenings)

Prayer for the departed

God of spirits and all flesh, having trampled down death and abolished the devil, and given life to Thy world! Himself, Lord, give rest to the souls of your departed servants: your most holy patriarchs, your eminence metropolitans, archbishops and bishops, who served you in the priestly, ecclesiastical and monastic ranks; the creators of this holy temple, the Orthodox forefathers, fathers, brothers and sisters, lying here and everywhere; leaders and warriors who laid down their lives for the faith and fatherland, the faithful, who were killed in internecine warfare, drowned, burned, frozen to death, torn to pieces by beasts, who suddenly died without repentance and did not have time to reconcile with the Church and with their enemies; those for whom we were commanded and asked to pray, for whom there is no one to pray and the faithful, Christian burial deprived of (the name of the rivers) in a bright place, in a green place, in a place of peace, from where illness, sadness and sighing can escape. Every sin committed by them in word or deed or thought, as a good Lover of mankind, God forgives, as if there is no man who will live and not sin. For You are the only one besides sin, Your righteousness is truth forever, and Your word is truth.
For You are the Resurrection, and the Life and Repose of Your departed servants (the name of the rivers), Christ our God, and to You we send glory with Your beginningless Father, and Your Most Holy, and Good, and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.