How to make a decision if in doubt to change jobs. How to make the right decision? Learn to trust your inner voice

Our life is a constant series of decisions. They can be both minor and quite serious, which have a great impact on us, and lead to major changes. A person constantly decides what to buy for dinner, where to go in the evening, what book to read, which university to go to study, what profession to choose, how to make a million and so on. And if the price of the issue is small, then the decision is given to us easily and is made quickly, because the loss in case of an error will be small. But, the more serious the choice is, the more difficult it is to make it. In this case, the right decision can lead to great success, or vice versa, it can cause losses and failures. Therefore, it is very important to know how to make the right decision.

Be sure to set yourself a time frame for making the right choice. Having a constraint forces you to choose the most efficient solution in a given situation. This process describes the so-called law of forced efficiency.

To make the right choice, you need to collect the maximum amount of information. The more facts you have on hand, the easier it will be for you to make an effective choice. So you can more or less objectively assess the situation.

Remember that emotions are your enemy in decision making, because during a surge of feelings you cannot reason objectively and detachedly. Try to wait for the moment when everything boils over in your soul, and only then get down to business, because in a hot head you can make far from the best decision.

Remember that if the search for the right course of action is work related, then you can shift this question to someone else. So you save yourself a lot of time. Also, once you complete a task, you can expect to do it all the time. Additional workload without appropriate dividends is absolutely useless. Therefore, think as rationally as possible, because delegation of authority- a very convenient tool for "unloading" your work schedule.

As you make your decision, be sure to prioritize your thinking. Structuring thoughts according to the principle of importance is an excellent skill that will allow you to quickly find an effective way out of any situation. If this skill is not developed, when analyzing complex problems, you will constantly get confused in your own reasoning. In addition, there is a risk that you will take the wrong criterion as the basis for making a decision, which will lead to incomprehensible consequences. With a high degree of probability, your choice will be ineffective, and often also a dead end. By making mistakes, over time, of course, you will be able to develop your skill in decision making. But by violating the so-called "overview" of the choice, you will not be able to determine the causal relationships that explain why the decision was correct or vice versa. Therefore, before a difficult choice, it is advisable to structure all your thoughts and make a “priority rating” of various factors in your head.

Fear of possible failure also makes it difficult to find the right solution. Many fail because of this ineffective feeling. In order for fear not to interfere with you, you need to analyze in detail the consequences that this or that choice can lead to, and then act.

When making a decision, it is best to remain calm. If you are a rather suspicious person, you can relax by listening to your favorite music, resting or, in extreme cases, drinking a sedative.

Objectivity is another factor that will ensure making the right decision. You need to be honest with yourself and not artificially embellish the facts that contribute to the wrong choice.

Prioritization is one of the most important components in evaluating various options for action. Think about what is most important to you: money, career, family, etc.

In addition, you need to evaluate the costs, since this factor can have a serious impact on the effectiveness of a particular solution.

Most of us very often regret what we have done, believing that we made the wrong choice. In fact, if you think soberly, you can come to the conclusion that there are no right and wrong decisions. If you are determined to achieve goals, and this goal is a priority and important, all actions towards it will be absolutely correct. Choosing the right solution is a rather subjective concept, so be guided by your desires.

Often situations arise that the choice can be postponed until some details are clarified in the case when the delay will not bring any damage. However, you can fall into the trap when new facts make the decision-making process more and more difficult, unforeseen information arises that needs to be clarified. Such a paradoxical effect is manifested in the fact that the more effort and perseverance you put into achieving a result, the worse you get. Or in other words, the longer you solve any problem, the more obscure facts emerge in this case.

Time in any case limits the ability to analyze various options. Not choosing is also a definite decision, although it can often be the most inefficient. For example, if you cannot choose between two professions that are right for you, you risk ending up unemployed or becoming an unskilled laborer. In such a situation, any option will be more profitable for you than not choosing. And if you still cannot decide, then it would be better to make a decision at random than to refuse one.

There are times when a hasty decision leads to collapse. In such situations, it is best to wait some time to assess the problem. However, it must be remembered that it is also impossible to delay the moment of making a decision for a long time (especially for work), since you may either get ahead of yourself, or the situation may escalate. And then you will regret that you did not make a choice earlier. Only people in high positions can afford to think about various options in detail, because they know that no one else can make a decision except them.

It is not necessary to solve a serious problem exclusively on your own. You can always consult with your friends or relatives. The task that has been voiced several times clarifies the situation as a whole, and it will be much easier for you to find a simple and ingenious way out of this situation. In addition, your interlocutors can give really good advice. The only point is that you should not tell everyone and everyone about your problems, because this way you will not come to anything, but only spend a lot of time on useless complaints. In addition, everyone is ready to give advice, and too much advice can easily confuse you.

If you are used to relying on the opinions of loved ones, then in situations that require prompt action, you can imagine in your head what your friend would advise you. This kind of internal dialogue can be incredibly helpful in many cases.

When making decisions, ignore emotions that are aimed at achieving a quick result. Such false zeal can play a cruel joke on you. In order to avoid possible negative consequences, you should use the Susie Welch "10-10-10" method, which consists in guessing where your decision will lead in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.

Always look for alternative possibilities. You should not completely give preference to only one idea, blindly believing in its correctness. Come up with at least a few more options in order to compare with your first. Imagine that the original idea simply does not exist, and think about what you will do in such a situation. You will definitely find several other alternatives.

If you still cannot decide 100%, go to bed, and a great solution may come to you overnight. This is due to the fact that our subconscious mind knows all possible ways out of this situation. During sleep, there will be a continuous process of analysis, and in the morning your subconscious mind can give you the best option. Before you go to bed, ask yourself a question again, then put a pen and a piece of paper near you. This is necessary in order to quickly fix some thought if necessary.

Don't ignore your intuition methods for developing intuition), because our inner voice is mistaken much less often than the mind. Therefore, before making a decision, try to listen to your feelings. If you experience any discomfort, then you should reconsider more options.

Now you know what helps you make the right decision. Let's look at how to stick to the chosen option.

How to follow the decision

Once you have made a decision, act immediately without delay, as any kind of delay only reduces your chances of success. In addition, you are sowing the seeds of a bad habit of constantly postponing things for later, which is fraught with the fact that you will never achieve the intended result.

Remember that changing your mind after you're halfway to your goal is ineffective, to say the least. Be true to your original views. So you will form the confidence that you are doing everything right, and success will not be long in coming. However, be on the lookout. If you realize that your path clearly leads to failure, it is better to abandon it as soon as possible. Remember that even successful entrepreneurs change course very often. Find a balance between flexibility and perseverance. In this case, you will move towards the goal persistently, while you can quickly change the plan of action without much loss for yourself.

Finally, it should be noted that in order to learn to make the right decisions, should use personal experience . At the same time, be guided by the above tips, because your decisions cannot be correct in 100% of cases. The constant change in the surrounding reality forces you to change as well. So be flexible in the process of choosing the right solution. Remember that your methods can fail, no matter how perfect they may seem to you. Experiment more and take tactical steps unusual for you, because the comfort zone in which you are used to being leads to degradation. Personal experience is one of the most faithful advisers.

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

4 227 0 Hello! In this article, we will tell you how to make the right decision when in doubt.

Every day we make several decisions a day, from choosing a menu for breakfast to social circle. Most of our decisions are harmless and cannot radically change our lives, but there are also those on which our entire future life depends completely. In difficult situations, we often begin to doubt ourselves and the correctness of our decision, rush between several options and lose a lot of time and energy instead of taking action.

How to make the right decision in life

Decision making is a real science. However, there is nothing supernatural in it, every person can quickly and correctly learn how to make decisions. It is enough to muster up the courage, take responsibility for your life in your own hands and adhere to a few rules and methods.

There are several ways to make decisions:

• heuristic(based on feelings and intuition)
• algorithm(based on informed decisions, study of information and analysis).

Ideally, there should be harmony between rational thinking and intuition.

In addition, the manner of solving problems largely depends on the type of personality and temperament. So, extroverts prefer not to think for a long time, but immediately begin to act, and introverts analyze a lot and can “hang” for a long time before making a decision. Both of these strategies can become a failure: the extrovert will eventually mess things up, and the introvert will remain sitting in the problem and waiting for it to be solved by itself.

Basic decision rules

There are some rules to follow when in doubt when making a decision.

1. Remember your life priorities and stick to them strictly. Think about what is really important to you and why you work, study, etc. Often values ​​and priorities are artificially replaced by society.
   For example, the principle of "money for the sake of money" becomes fashionable. When applying for a job, think about what you really value and why are you doing it? If you really value your family and communication with children, a highly paid job with constant processing may simply not suit you. By focusing on the essentials, making decisions becomes much easier.
2. Try it if possible. You can think endlessly about what would happen if you went and did something, or you can just try and then make a decision.
   Eg If you dream of becoming a famous graphic designer, apply for an internship with an advertising agency. Looking at the dream job from the inside, making a decision will be much easier.
3. Limit the number of options. You should have a choice, but remember that the abundance of options does not help, but, on the contrary, makes it difficult to make a decision.
4. Come up with an algorithm of action if a certain situation occurs.
   Eg, if you started your own business, but after a year it did not start to generate income, you stop investing in a loss-making enterprise. Such “backup” algorithms allow you to calculate the risks and insure yourself in case of an unfavorable course of the situation.
5. Seek advice from loved ones and more experienced people. It is important to be able to process these tips. Of course, the opinion from the outside and the information received are very important. However, do not forget that sometimes people give advice, projecting their own fears and failures onto your life. Be careful and don't follow other people's opinions.
6. State the problem several times. Seeking advice is useful not so much to hear advice as to talk through the situation. When we repeat our question several times, new unexpected thoughts and ideas come to us already at the moment of pronunciation.
7. Stop thinking and analyzing and just act. Sometimes we have nothing to lose in a given situation, so why waste your time and energy thinking? Wherever there are no casualties, act swiftly and decisively.
8. Postpone the decision until tomorrow. Sometimes weighing and making a decision is much easier with a fresh mind. In addition, sometimes it is useful to rely on your subconscious and ask yourself an exciting question at night. Perhaps the first thought that comes to mind immediately after waking up will turn out to be the right option.
9. Limit the time to make a decision. The law of forced efficiency comes into force.
10. Rely not only on your experience, but also on current changes in the situation.
11. Once you've made a decision, act now!

What should not be done?

1. Don't turn off your intuition. It is still worth listening to your body and "signs from above".
2. Don't delay making a decision and implementing it. Otherwise, you will remain sitting with the problem.
3. Never regret your decisions. Remember that there is no ideal course of action. Everything that happens to us happens for something and is already the most correct decision. Perhaps, having made a different decision, there would be much more problems?
4. Do not abuse advice and do not ask everyone in a row.
5. Don't shift responsibility for your life onto someone else.
6. Don't be led by your emotions.

Eliminate emotions

Before making a decision, it is very important to get rid of interfering emotions: fear, nervousness, excitement, etc. Such emotions make it difficult to concentrate on the main thing, constantly draw attention to minor details and do not allow you to adequately look at the situation.

Fear

In order to get rid of fear, you need to imagine the worst case scenario very clearly. Of course, it will be greatly exaggerated, but playing a frightening moment in the imagination will allow you to touch your own fear and prepare for possible problems on the way to the goal.

Breath

No matter how trite, deep and slow abdominal breathing will help get rid of interfering excitation. You need to breathe deeply into the stomach, while the chest practically does not move. Take 10 slow breaths in and out, slightly holding your breath for 5-7 slow counts.

Wait

Just wait. Momentary impulses and desires are not always worthy of an early implementation. Sometimes they pass as quickly as they appear in our head. It is better to wait until the wave of excitement and emotions subsides than to do something stupid.

Stay Focused

Try to be here and now as much as possible when making a decision. Stop being distracted by external factors and various little things. If necessary, retire and be alone. Dive headfirst into the problem and focus on it.

The 10/10/10 rule

To cool your ardor, sometimes it is enough to ask yourself three questions:

1. How will I feel about my decision in 10 minutes?
2. In 10 months?
3. After 10 years?

While doing this practice, try to be as honest with yourself as possible.

Remember this state when a friend turns to us for advice. We clearly see the situation and do not pay attention to various trifles. Try to look at your problem from the outside and give yourself adequate advice.

Ideal "I"

Choose from the proposed options ideal. Try not to think about what you want. Our desires are not always in our favor.

Decision-making methods

Mankind has come up with many ways to make the right decision throughout its existence. But before you start getting acquainted with these methods, you need to understand what the correct solution consists of:

1. Information. These are dry facts without emotional coloring and informational distortions.
2. Selectivity in information. Not all facts should be taken on faith or projected onto your life.
3. Concentration on the problem and its solution.
4. Experience. Mostly your personal, but the experience of loved ones is also very valuable.
5. Flexibility and ability to adapt to changing situations.
6. Adequate assessment of what is happening.
7. Consistency in decision making and subsequent actions.

Avoid limits and boundaries

People tend to choose between two extremes: "Yes" or "No". Buy a car on credit or not? Get divorced or not? Quit or not? We drive ourselves into the framework of a difficult choice, while the true answer to the question may be hidden in the middle or even lie in a different plane.

For example, someone wants to buy a car on credit, but doubts because he does not want to get into debt. Perhaps the question should simply be put differently and buy a car cheaper, rent an apartment closer to work, or even find a job near your current place of residence.

Try to think broader and avoid yes/no boxes.

Dream Diary

Imagine the goal in all colors and your future life when you achieve it. Answer the following questions:

• How will I feel?
• Why do I need it?
• Will I become more confident?
• What opportunities will open up for me?

Write down your fantasies in detail in your diary, answer questions, and reread your entries every day. At first, you will not believe what you are reading, but over time, your subconscious mind will take on a new picture.

In addition, a vivid representation of your own dreams and goals helps you make decisions. Most importantly, always remember why you wake up in the morning.

Expand Your Choice

Don't get hung up on the first option you see. Check out other alternative solutions as well. Suddenly it turns out that there are options much better and more profitable? However, you should not expand the choice to an unlimited number of options. Remember that this will only make it harder to solve the problem.

disappearance

Imagine that the option you chose suddenly disappeared. What will you do in such a case?

This method allows you to get rid of attachment to one specific solution and get out of the impasse of thinking.

Search for information

Study thoroughly everything related to the problem and ways to solve it. Getting to know reviews on the Internet has become an ordinary ritual before purchasing a product or service. But for some reason, not everyone does the same when choosing a university or a new job.

Research the issue on the Internet and, if possible, communicate with those who worked or studied in this institution. This will already save you half the wrong choice.

In addition, you can ask questions directly at the interview. Do not specify what bonuses the company can offer and whether there are additional benefits for employees. Better ask who was in this position before, how many people left this position and why, where they are now and how you can contact them. The answers to these questions will already be enough to make an informed decision.

If it is difficult to make a decision, you can use the Descartes square method. To do this, draw a square on a piece of paper and divide it with two lines into four more squares. In the upper left box, write everything that you will get by making this decision, and in the right box, everything that you will get by not making it. In the lower squares, respectively, everything that you will not get if you make this decision, and everything that you will not get if you do not accept it.

After you finish writing all the pros and cons of this solution, it remains to calculate their ratio and number:

1. Subtract the number of minuses from the number of pluses in the upper right square.
2. Carry out the same operation with the left column of the square.
3. Make a decision.

Three question method

There is such a theory that before making a decision you need to ask yourself three times. The first time the answer will come on the basis of emotions, the second time - on the basis of logic, and the third answer will be the closest to the truth.

Try on different hats

You can also make a decision in a playful way. To do this, imagine that you have seven hats of different colors, and each of them is able to radically change the way you think:

• Red- makes you excitable and emotional;
• Lilac- allows you to always remain rational;
• Blue- includes intuition;
• Black- makes you see one negative and pass everything through the prism of a defeatist attitude;
• Pink- makes overly self-confident and incapable of self-criticism;
• orange- generates impossible projects and makes fantastic plans;
• White - gives wisdom.

Try on all the hats and try to bring out the middle one from the whole stream of thoughts and feelings.

We exclude uninteresting options

You can choose from multiple alternatives using the elimination method. Remove the most unattractive option from the existing ones. Then remove another one and another one. Continue eliminating unwanted options until one option remains.

lesser evil

Not always our choice is connected with pleasant things. Sometimes, no matter what we choose, the consequences will not be very pleasant. What to do in this case? Accept the situation as it is and try to choose what will be the least unpleasant for you.

PMI method

The abbreviation PMI can be deciphered as Plus, Minus, Interesting . Make a table with three columns. In the first, write down all the possible pluses from the decision made, in the second - the minuses, and in the third - just all the interesting remarks, nuances and comments that are neither pluses nor minuses.

This plate will help to visualize all the advantages and disadvantages of the decision made and once again weigh the pros and cons.

Practicing the Five Guiding Questions

Suppose you have already chosen a solution for your problem. How to check if you are moving in the right direction and whether it is worth changing it? The five questions method will help you with this:

1. Do I want this (become someone / do something / have something)? If the answer is yes, keep asking questions.
2. If I do this (become someone / do something / acquire something), will I remain in harmony with myself, the world, the Universe and God (for believers)? If yes, then we continue.
3. If I do this, will it bring me closer to my dream? Yes? We continue.
4. If I do this, will it violate anyone's rights? If not, then you can ask yourself the last question.
5. If I do this, will it be better for me or for someone else?

If you come to the last question and the answer is yes, you can safely assume that you are on the right track.

Algorithm for independent decision making

In order to learn how to make decisions on your own, take a piece of paper and a pen.

1. Write on a piece of paper what your problem is.
2. List the reasons why it needs to be addressed.
3. Describe in detail the desired outcome of events.
4. Write down all possible options for solving the issue and the actions that need to be taken.
5. Analyze your responses, match them to current opportunities, and take action.

How to make a job decision?

When you are about to leave your job or choosing from several vacancies, remember your life priorities and values. If your family is at the head of everything, it is wrong to choose a job with irregular working hours and constant delays at work, even if you get good pay for it.

It would be a good idea to ask a friend for help in this case. After all, real risks and imaginary fears are always better seen from the outside. If you have no one to ask, try giving yourself advice. Try to turn off your emotions, because a job change can change your life for the better or for the worse.

How to decide on a divorce?

If family life has cracked and everything is bad, sometimes thoughts of divorce may flash. Do not rush to chop off the shoulder. Wait until the emotions calm down and clarity appears in the head. Perhaps it would be useful to live a little apart with your spouse.

Do not rush to seek advice from loved ones. If you then change your mind and make peace with your husband or wife, loved ones will condemn him / her, consider him / her an enemy and put spokes in the wheels. In addition, personal life is one of those areas of life where decisions should remain solely with you, so that later you will not bitterly regret that you blindly listened to someone's advice.

Remember to avoid narrow boundaries and radical solutions. Perhaps the question "To divorce or not?" put incorrectly and there are other solutions, for example: sort out relationships, work through grievances, talk heart to heart, improve relationships, or contact a family psychologist.

If you understand that you are much better apart than in an alliance with a partner, and you won’t be able to restore the relationship, it may be worth it to get a divorce than to fight for a destructive relationship that no one needs.

How to help make a decision?

Every person is the master of his own life. Therefore, give others the opportunity to build their own lives, win and make mistakes. If you see that your loved one doubts himself, give him the opportunity to make his own decision and do not meddle with unsolicited advice. Of course, if you are asked for advice, you can express your opinion and say what you would do, but no more. You have no right to make a decision for another person or take responsibility for his life.

What prevents us from making adequate decisions? (Dan Gilbert)

We have to make many different decisions in our lives. And it often happens that we hesitate: to do this or not?

Or we don’t understand at all how we should act ... What should we do in such cases? How to behave so as not to regret what you have done? In fact, there are many ways to help you.

Method one. Reasoning.

It is suitable for people who think rationally, who are used to reasoning with.

Try to calculate the consequences of this or that act. It is best to write down all the pros and cons on a piece of paper so that it is clearer. Let's say you've been offered a new job, but you're hesitant to accept it or not. Take a sheet, divide it into two halves and on one write down all the advantages of the proposed position, for example, “big salary”, “growth prospects”, “social package”, on the second - negative factors - “work away from home”, “irregular schedule” , "little information about this company" and so on.

Look at both halves of the sheet and count how many pluses and minuses you got. Now highlight what is your priority. After all, suppose a salary and a career can fully compensate for some inconvenience. And it also happens that money and a career are not the main thing for you, but you want to return home early and spend weekends with your family. This method will simply help you visually put everything on the shelves, and it will be easier to finally make a decision.

Method two. Intuition.

Suitable for people with an intuitive type of thinking. Listen to what. If you were offered a job or, say, marriage, and the offer seems to be good, but for some reason you are not drawn to accepting it, maybe you shouldn’t? And, on the contrary, if your mind is in doubt, and your heart tells you to do just that, shouldn't you follow his lead? If earlier your intuitive premonitions have already been justified, then it means that you can quite trust them.

Method three. Test fate.

This is for magically minded citizens. It's about different. Not even necessarily traditional ones, like cards or the I Ching. You can just think: "If the next candy I get from this bag is green, then I will go to this place, and if it is red, then I will refuse to go." The main thing is to get candy without looking.

You can "guess" with the help of hours. Connoisseurs say that if on the dial, when you take a look at it. there will be a "jackpot" - say, 11 hours 11 minutes, then you can be sure: the upcoming meeting or enterprise will be successful for you. If the first two digits are greater than the second two, say 21 hours zero three minutes, you should not be in a hurry to make a decision. If, on the contrary, for example, the clock shows 15:39, then time is running out for you: hurry up so as not to miss your chance.

Now on sale there are special balls for decision-making. You formulate a question, shake the ball and look in the window for the answer. Just remember that the ball does not predict the future, but only tells you what to expect and how best to act in a given situation.

Method four. Reading the signs of fate.

Suitable for those who are interested, if not in mysticism, then in psychology and. When thinking about a solution, pay attention to what is happening around you. Suppose you are going to go somewhere, but you are not sure whether to go or not. And then suddenly the phones start ringing and requests from acquaintances fall upon you, you lose the keys to the apartment and find that the sole of your shoes has come off ... Most likely, Providence tells you: you should not go to this meeting.

Or someone offers you cooperation, and his surname turns out to be the same as that of a person whom you knew many years ago and with whom you had some kind of unpleasant situation ... Is it by chance?

Or you are planning a tour, and suddenly, by a strange coincidence, you come across a post on the Web of a former client of the same travel company who recalls with horror how he used its services ...

They ask you for a large amount of debt, and then the headline of the note catches your eye: “Company N went bankrupt” ...

You've had pain in your lower back for three months now, but you still can't decide whether to go to the doctor. And then you catch a snippet of someone else's conversation in the subway: “I did an ultrasound yesterday, they said - a stone in the kidney ...”

You are considering whether to go on a date with the gentleman who invited you, and they sing on the radio: “Don’t go to meet him, don’t go. He has a granite stone in his chest." Why not a hint?

A “picture” can also carry a hint. For example, you are not sure whether you should associate fate with this particular person. And suddenly you see a couple of tender swans on the pond. Or, on the contrary, you meet a couple of desperately fighting cats on the street ... Draw the appropriate conclusions.

Of course, you should not literally take every little thing for. But if a word or event drew your attention to itself, stuck in your memory, or it clearly seemed to you that “it's all about you”, that it is connected precisely with your situation, then it makes sense to take it into account. Good luck with your decisions!

There comes a time in every person's life when they some serious decision needs to be made., which can greatly change his fate. As a rule, if a person is aware of the difficulty of his situation, then making such decisions is very difficult.. Life-changing decisions are easy to make when you don't think or when you don't know what. How can a person who understands his situation and is faced with the need to make a difficult decision find support? I invite you to think with me about possible answers to this question.

Give yourself time

For any decision to be made time. And it's good if we are for these purposes allocate it to ourselves. In the old days, the sages used to retire on purpose in order to better focus on some important issue. Now the pace of our life is so great that it becomes more and more difficult to stop for a while and focus on something important for ourselves. And without it, it is very difficult to make a decision. After all, it is so important to think, analyze your situation, find and be disappointed in certain decisions, reach a dead end, and then again look for a way out of it. All this is an integral part of the search and decision making. And if we do not give ourselves time, then decisions can be impulsive and thoughtless, based on a fleeting mood or.

Reliance on feelings

Somehow it turns out that in difficult situations ours. Or there are so many “smart” thoughts that you can get lost in them; or the wind starts to walk in the head and the mind refuses to work. In this case, relying on your own feelings can help. Only it should be relying on momentary emotions(joy, anger, fear, etc.), but deep feelings that live in each of us. It is very easy for someone to hear the voice of these feelings within himself, and he just needs to listen to himself, while someone is completely unaware of how to hear the wave of his feelings in the general noise that envelops the soul. I will share with you the advice of a friend of mine who told me about how he does it. Personally, I really liked his advice.

So, for starters, you will need to find a quiet place where you can retire. Having done this, find something nearby that you can focus your attention on. It is better if it is some kind of shiny object (it is easier to focus on this for a long time). Sit comfortably, rest your eyes on this object, and sitting like this, gradually begin to listen to yourself. To do this, imagine that inside you is emptiness, silence, there is nothing. Listen to this silence and emptiness. Don't let your thoughts distract you from this silence. And if thoughts are distracting, then just note what they are about and let them go. Gradually, something will begin to appear in this emptiness. Notice what comes to the surface. These are the feelings we are looking for. They can appear in the form of images, vague premonitions, sensations in the body. As soon as you notice something in yourself, try to listen to it, and let your experiences unfold.

The whole process can be visualized as follows. You are walking through the forest and you need to go to the road where cars drive. This road is far. You are walking and following the crunch of branches and leaves under your feet, you do not hear in which direction this road is. You stop and freeze in order to listen where the road is. And you don’t hear it right away, but only after some short period of time, when the ear tunes in to silence and hearing becomes sharper. So it is with feelings. You must first stop and stop all inner work, and then listen to where the “sound of your feelings” comes from inside you.

If you manage to hear the voice of your feelings, hear your true desires, then this can give support and a direction in which you would like to move. And if such a general direction becomes clear, then making a decision is much easier (and sometimes it becomes simply self-evident).

Self-deception test

An important guideline in decision making can be a sense of inner harmony. This feeling can appear in the reverse form, in the form feelings if you refuse a decision, or vice versa, internally press on the need to make it. Usually this feeling is similar to some kind of internal discomfort, something gnaws inside and torments, as if you are betraying yourself. It is very important to ask yourself in a difficult situation: “Why am I here? Why should I do this and that? What is the meaning of my decision? If you do not know what decision to make, then it is worth asking yourself about the meaning of the situation in which you are forced to make a decision. Why were you in it? Why did they come to it? By finding the answers to these questions, you can better understand why you are in a decision or choice situation. And then you can ask yourself if you are betraying what you came into this situation for, and yourself at the same time, choosing this or that decision.

Fighting Doubts

It must be said that doubts often arise in the case if the decision is made under duress(internal or external). If the solution is hard-won and internally matured there is no doubt or regret. Well, if the choice has not yet matured internally, but it needs to be made as soon as possible, then confusion and a desire to find the “right” solution appear. In this state, any choice will be wrong. Such a decision will always be followed by a train of regrets and doubts. There is only one way out - to think about what makes you right now (“as soon as possible”) to make a choice and make a decision. More precisely, what do you not like about it? And here it is better to think about what else can be done to remove this internal dissatisfaction without radically changing the situation.

Generally speaking, the best advice here is - don't put pressure on yourself. Don't force yourself to make a decision. Allow yourself not to accept it. Relax. Be like a samurai who, with an unshakable spirit, stands on the edge of a cliff and looks at the blue sky, enjoying its beauty. Take your time and allow yourself to take a closer look at the situation.

Reconciliation with the victim

In any choice, in any decision, you, one way or another, forced to give up something. There is something important and valuable that must be sacrificed when choosing one or another alternative. You should be prepared for this. In order to experience the victim more effectively (so to speak) it is necessary to approach it with the awareness that what exactly are you losing. When you clearly understand what you are giving up, then it is easier for you to survive the consequences of making such a difficult decision.

In order to better understand what you will have to give up, try to complete the following sentence inside yourself: "I'll never…". Saying inside yourself everything that you have to part with, you can, on the one hand, better understand the importance of this or that alternative and, on the other hand, gain courage and readiness to take responsibility for the decision you have made. One way to help you accept this sacrifice is to recognize what you are paying for in terms of the goods you are giving up. This is your choice, and for every life choice we have to pay something, and sacrifice something for the sake of something more valuable to us.

Final point

To give your decision more weight, you need to "energize him". How to do it? There are two options here. On the one hand, you can take one of the alternatives that you want to refuse, and imagine the worst possible scenario. This can be done by saying to yourself such words: “if I choose this and that, then I will suffer all my life from this and that.” You can do it like this.

Or you can find the positive that is in the choice that you are inclined to, and keep it in your mind, in your imagination, keep it as a goal, as the lighthouse you want to bring your ship to. Can more often remember the good things you strive for especially in moments of doubt and hesitation.

5 6 034 0

There is only one person who is able to lead fate - you yourself. It is foolish to sit in anticipation of the impossible, one must achieve success, act, be decisive, show fortitude. It happens that circumstances are against us, what to do? The answer is simple:

1. do not despair;
2. never give up;
3. set goals for yourself;
4. fight for your happiness no matter what.

Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal, he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, we must perceive the realities as they are. Until there is determination, there is nowhere to take results.

You can get rid of any obstacle and it is necessary to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.

For every trouble in life, you should look for an individual approach, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.

Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on, and it's much better to be an active participant in it than to just sit and suffer constantly, and then get angry at yourself because of missed opportunities. Difficulties make it possible to enjoy joys, victories, accept defeats, adapt to changes.

So how do you make the right decision and not regret anything? This is what will be discussed in the article.

The main thing is motivation

Change not for others, do not prove anything to anyone, just be conscious of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why it is needed, what are the ways to implement the plan, then even a difficult decision will be easier.

The most stubborn and responsible one who really wants to achieve results understands that he simply has no right to give up.

In fact, motive is an impetus to action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.

It is important to analyze your own thoughts, if in doubt - think carefully, take your time.

Let's set an example

If a girl is overweight and dreams of a perfect figure, then it is reasonable to take an example from athletes. You can seek advice from a nutritionist, and not starve yourself in a panic, ruin your health.

Motivation is great, but it needs to be real, helping you make difficult decisions, not creating more trouble.

trust your intuition

As a rule, it is better not to make an important decision in a hurry, you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do as you originally intended.

Usually the subconscious tells us the correct option. What comes to mind first, often works with a bang.

The more we think, the more questions and doubts appear.

1. Never bring yourself to nervous exhaustion.
2. Don't suffer.
3. Learn not to delay solving a problem.
4. Act harmoniously, perceive what is happening without panic.

Before trusting your intuition, think about whether you or someone you know has been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, is there enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?

Use Descartes' Square

There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.

For example, we think about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate thoughts visit our heads.

• It is correct not to dwell on one of the parties, but to analyze the act with its possible consequences.

It is best to work with the square in writing. Detailed written answers will push you to the right decision without a doubt.

• What does a Descartes square look like:

For all four questions, it is worth giving extensive statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up or continue the relationship with the person. We need to find arguments in order to convince ourselves, to understand how strong values, goals, desires, priorities are.

There is always at least one person who is involved in our lives and is ready to help.

From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It is easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.

If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cold mind.

Decide on your priorities

When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinion of the masses, inheritance, collective intelligence.

1. You cannot be negligent, lack of independence, manage your life without the help of outsiders, show your ideas, and do not chase what is in trend.
2. Don't let people impose anything on you. Everyone is different by nature, each has its own purpose.

Based on the character, morality, values, hobbies, field of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.

The morning is wiser than the evening

For some reason, the brightest thoughts visit at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but by delaying the moment a little, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.

Emotions aside

Always make the final decision yourself. Do not try to push the responsibility away, to protect yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Do not rely on luck or happy coincidence. Take responsibility for everything that happens in life.

Remember: The life position of an outsider is a way of being "as long as no one touches."

Emotions are life, but you always have to take over and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do such things that you will have to regret for a long time.