Why do people break up when they love each other? Why do people love each other - Do people have good reasons to love each other?

Love is gone. It would seem why this could be such a mystery, people who were madly in love with each other suddenly stopped feeling this feeling. What are the reasons?

Veronica's story: Veronica and her boyfriend were perfect couple. When they met, they realized that they had been waiting for each other all their lives. They had the same hobbies, they liked the same things, they considered each other kindred spirits. This happiness lasted for two years until her boyfriend suddenly began to move away. He eventually broke up with her, and when she asked why, he simply replied that he just didn't love her anymore.

Has this happened to you or someone you know? Disappointment... Does true love come to last forever?

It is difficult to give a definite answer to this question, but one piece of advice that can be given is that you need to consider your perception of “true love” and know one thing that all that glitters is not gold.

High expectations of true love are exaggerated perfect concept love, which can thereby disrupt the full and healthy relationships. A realistic view is vital.

What is the main reason why people stop loving each other?

Of course, there are many reasons why people fall out of love, but love cannot be equated with falling in love, these are two completely different feelings.
Falling in love is a deception, an illusion. A person cannot stop loving, because no one loses their love overnight.
There are 3 main reasons why people don't love anymore and therefore break up with their partners.

1. Their expectations were not met

If you meet someone you are truly attracted to, you tend to idealize things. You will fall in love with this person because... at the moment everything will be so new, so fresh for you. You will discover everything for yourself over and over again with great pleasure. positive qualities your partner. But, unfortunately, soon all your needs and expectations will not be met and you will finally take off your rose-colored glasses.

The problem here is that your opinion of your partner is not always realistic. After all, he and you are doing everything possible, trying to show your best side and hide your shortcomings in every possible way. Through your efforts to show yourself in better light your partner and you meet each other's expectations at the beginning, but later in the relationship, when the fire of passion has cooled a little, you tend to take off your masks and show the real you. Now you and your partner act differently, not so reverently, not so carefully, nor so diligently towards the other half.

And after you have opened up, your relationship comes to conflicts, because those expectations and promises are not fulfilled by your partner and you will begin to feel deceived.

2. Have you really experienced love?

Another problem is that people very often cannot tell whether they are in love or not. Sometimes they confuse passion and sexual satisfaction with love.

This happens very often when people are young, or when people have been in long-term relationships for a long time. They confuse long-term satisfaction with love.

But after they sexual desire fades away, they suddenly lose interest and stop loving. Of course, this is not love in the first place, which is why feelings are fleeting.

3. Abuse

Unfortunately, this happens often, especially with men, at first he is soft and kind, and later they become rude and hard.

Violence, of course, is the most extreme case. Very often, partners suddenly change their behavior in such a way that it becomes unbearable. Drug and alcohol abuse are common examples of this change.

Conclusion

Knowing these 3 reasons why people might fall out of love can be helpful to us. They can teach you how to behave at the beginning of a relationship.
We must have realistic expectations in a partner and relationship, and above all, we must be who we truly are from the very beginning.

By pretending to be satisfied with everything and by reducing your basic needs, you will show your partner a false image of you, a picture that will fade over time and perhaps your partner or you will eventually stop loving.

On the one hand, you can see many happy and loving couples, but it is not clear, because you need to continue to love and be together. There are many reasons for this, but you need to know the most basic reasons for separation so as not to end up in the same situation.

In this article, psychologists will tell you about why do people break up when they love each other, how to prevent this in your family or relationship. After all, outwardly we see happy couples, but internally we understand that these people will soon separate.

'Cause love isn't real

Not everyone understands what love is and accordingly believe that if people are together, then they love each other. Today it is rare to see people who are truly in love and this big problem. People have not learned to take care of what they have and began to invent the illusion of love, creating it even on the Internet. The reason why people break up when they love each other is because they don't really love each other and haven't loved each other.

Because there are no common interests

Main reason, why do people break up the fact that there are no common interests and views on life. These people just meet and they don’t even have anything to talk about with each other. Because of this, they break up, without even trying to find at least something in common, which can definitely be found in every person, if there is a desire. Find out: how to find a worthy husband, since women are looking for a real man, but they themselves do not want to become real women.

They don't understand the meaning of further relationships

Often all relationships are created on emotions and when a couple begins to think logically, they do not find the meaning of further relationships and this is the reason why people break up when they love each other, because their love was just affection.

Interests have changed

It happens that people for a long time dating, but with age their interests and outlook on life change and they need something different in life. Differences in interests begin and, as a result, people break up. But if there was a desire, we could stay together and form new common interests.

People rush to create relationships

Especially modern youth, they are constantly in a hurry to get somewhere and try to try everything. Here why do people break up when they love each other, because they confuse falling in love, affection with true love. True love will never allow people to separate and betray each other, and this is a problem, since few people truly love. Don't rush to cost serious relationship, be friends and hang out together for at least 1-2 years. Then it will become clear whether you need each other spiritually or not.

Betrayal, betrayal

The main reason why people break up when they love each other is, of course, betrayal and betrayal in a relationship or family. People do not love each other and seek pleasure in other people, hiding it. When the truth comes true, the couple is disappointed and breaks up. After all, there is no point in living with someone who cheats and gives.

Love disappears

Many believe the reason why people break up when they love each other, then that love has gone and passed. This doesn't happen, love can't pass because true love always exists and will be in our hearts, we just don’t want to feel it, and we continue to create artificial love for ourselves and believe in it. For this reason, not only couples, but also families break up within three years of marriage. Find out: how to meet a guy to create a truly lasting relationship for life.

The main thing is not to rush to create a family and relationships, because no one is stopping you from just being friends and dating at first. And when you realize that you love, then after three years, you can create a serious relationship and family. And if there are no feelings, then you will simply remain friends, and will not suffer like many others because of what did not happen, because of affection, and not because of love.

Always keep love in your heart and then you will never stop loving and will fall in love with the person who really loves you and wants to be with you all your life.

Just recently you couldn’t live without each other, but now the love is gone... Why do people suddenly stop experiencing this feeling? What are the reasons and can this be avoided?

The fact is that even the most ideal relationships need work. Each partner needs expressions of love and appreciation from time to time. No one wants to be taken for granted, betrayed, deceived or misunderstood.

Love always requires more than friendship or sympathy. She needs our presence, trust and respect. It's easy to fall in love. It is much more difficult to keep this flame alive.

Here are 12 main reasons why people fall out of love.

1. Lack of communication
When a relationship first begins, people have a lot in common. Lovers talk about everything in the world because they are interested in getting to know each other. They enjoy their own similarity. Unfortunately, in many couples such close communication fades over time.

There are 4 ways of interaction in a couple that spoil relationships: unconstructive criticism, contempt (sarcasm), defense and obstruction (silent protest).

Psychologists say that very often constructive communication stops due to the fact that partners simply do not know how to discuss problems correctly. At first you are afraid of upsetting or angering your loved one with inappropriate questions, and then you stop sharing even important experiences with him.

2. Spending time apart
You used to go everywhere together, but in lately More and more often you go somewhere alone. If you enjoy spending time away from your partner rather than with them, this a clear sign that the relationship needs to be saved.

3. Habit
As time passes, many couples begin to take their relationship for granted. They stop touching, kissing and praising each other. Such partners are more like roommates than passionate lovers.

Sometimes we need time to understand how important a loved one is, and then passionate feelings return on their own. But most likely you will have to work hard at it. Together.

4. Uncertainty about your partner

When romantic love fades, we begin to feed on each other's insecurities. In such relationships, jealousy begins to play a leading role. When there is a lack of attention in a couple, we begin to notice that our partner behaves differently with others. And the point is not at all that he may be cheating. We just want to feel what it was like before. And your jealousy and insecurity are transmitted to him...

This is how the battle for self-esteem and recognition begins between lovers. It is better to immediately discuss issues of jealousy without accusations or criticism.

5. Desire for change
Over time, people change. Or, what would be more true, they become who they always were deep down. Your partner, who had a career in business, may suddenly realize that he always dreamed of being a comedian and radically change his life. Are you ready for this?

The desire for change, which often leads to loss of love, is always associated with the desire to be someone you hide inside.

A great way to avoid this is to be open with your partner from the beginning and accept his decisions as long as they make him happy. Change is an integral part of any relationship. You must go with the flow of life, otherwise boredom will extinguish the flame of your love.

6. “There is no more attraction...”
What kills passion? Inability to have a lot of fun together! One day you get into a rut and you can’t get out of it. You stop having candlelit evenings and no longer make little surprises for your loved one.

Don't forget that you fell in love with this person for many reasons. Passion is ignited not only through recognition and compassion!

7. Infidelity
Many people can instantly fall out of love as soon as they find out about their partner's infidelity. Treason is one of the most common reasons breakups. Even one single incident can be the last straw!

8. Inability to forgive

There is nothing worse than old grievances. Especially if we are still correcting some situation, constantly thinking about it.

Sometimes we hurt each other without realizing that we mean something completely different.

It's hard to stay in love if you still remember what your partner once did. No one can move on in such a situation! Therefore, let either the past go away or you! You can't have a healthy relationship while constantly feeling pain.

9. Insincerity
Deception, omissions and other secrets can over time nullify even the most strong love. Of course, this is not betrayal, which completely destroys trust, but for some reason this does not make it any easier.

Not speaking in a relationship is the same as lying. Learn to talk about everything frankly. After all, you have nothing to hide?

10. Reluctance to compromise

Relationships where there is room for selfishness will inevitably end sooner or later. Gradually, partners stop caring about the feelings of their loved one and do only what they consider necessary.

If no one in a couple wants to compromise, this indicates a lack of respect and love. You cannot love a person without accepting his wishes!

11. Unrealistic expectations
When you got married, you sincerely believed that you had found your happiness. Unfortunately, fairy tales about love do not say anything about the fact that after the wedding a completely different story begins.

You've met your fairytale prince, and he really was. You fell in love with the ideal image of this person, but after some time the love potion stopped working... And at that moment, it was as if a veil fell from your eyes!

As people get to know each other better, they begin to feel like they are incompatible. And that's okay!

Accept that you both can have separate interests, friends and hobbies. Codependency has never saved a single relationship!

12. The love wasn't real

Sometimes people really make mistakes. What you sincerely thought was the love of your life turned out to be just passion. This often happens if a relationship starts quickly and thoughtlessly.

Passion goes away when responsibility begins!

Love is eternal. Of course, even in ideal relationships there are difficult stages. No person is immune from illness, financial difficulties and other ups and downs of life. But when you truly love a person, you are ready to share responsibility for the well-being of your couple.

If you notice any of the above signs in yourself or your partner, then it is time to urgently change something in your relationship. Before it's too late!

Likes and dislikes arise between strangers sometimes instantly and most often we can give them a clear explanation. Love is much more difficult. How, in what words, can we explain what is happening in the soul of a person in love and why he chose this particular object for his love? Psychologists have long and persistently argued that looking for a reasonable reason for love is completely pointless, but people continue to dig to the depths of this feeling.

Love according to science

Scientists echo them. For centuries, scientists from all sciences have been trying to figure out the mechanism that moves people in love. They have long been interested in the question - why does a man fall in love with this particular woman and no other? But there were no definite conclusions, and those that did emerge were rather small and incomprehensible. The most famous one is that men love with their eyes, and women with their ears. This fact is indeed confirmed scientific research. Another conclusion of scientists: falling in love is not a random impulse, but a pattern and even a necessity. People, guided by their subconscious, choose from among many applicants the one who is best suited as a companion for procreation. And just recently, scientists made an amazing discovery. They convincingly proved that love really exists.

American psychologists, having studied the human brain, discovered special zones in it responsible for love emotions. When loving person sees his loved one, communicates with him, even thinks about him, these zones are activated. And they become so activated that they block normal work all other zones. The zones where a real understanding of the situation, assessments of the surrounding world, anger and irritability are developed are almost completely switched off. Therefore, the first sign of a person in love is increased smiling, a state of euphoria and an optimistic-inadequate social behavior. But the answer was never received - how a person chooses whom to love.

Love from the subconscious

There is an assumption that the feeling of love is caused by pheromones released by our body. But for some reason I don’t want to believe that the basis of tender feelings is not our attractive appearance and beautiful soul, but just chemical reactions, independent of our will. But scientists say that it is these chemicals, secreted through the skin along with sweat and then inhaled by a potential partner, affect his subconscious. But scientists did not understand the mechanism of this effect, its selectivity and patterns. But the fact remains that very often excellent girls fall in love with hooligans, while outright ugly girls have a whole army handsome fans. There is another not very intelligible explanation for this - opposites attract, that is, people who are very different from each other become attached and are interesting to each other. Of course it is. But what the real reason– in the heteropolarity of their pheromones or mutual interest – it is still not clear. It's logical that the same people there is nothing to say or show to each other, so they will get bored very quickly. And from here conflicts and differences in different sides. There is not always a similarity of temperaments and life positions is a guarantee of a long and happy life family life. Two passive person are not able to make decisions in a timely manner, arrange their affairs, hence mutual dissatisfaction with each other will increase. Conversely, two leaders may not get along on the same territory, since each will foam at the mouth to defend his only correct opinion.

If the question “Why does he love me?” is tormenting you so much, you can come up and ask directly. But, most likely, the answer will be banal and will not satisfy you. Often in such cases, men say common phrases, list those of your advantages that immediately come to mind. Both he and you will know that the answer is superficial and very inaccurate. His originality will be higher only if your man is distinguished by resourcefulness, intelligence and the ability to present beautifully. But you know that this will have little in common with the truth.

What do you want - a template answer to a stupid question - this is not the most worst option. After all, in order to accurately convey in words the cause of feelings, you must at least know it. And since love arises in the subconscious, it is impossible to consciously explain it. After all, we often don’t think about the reasons for our choice. Without realizing it, one is looking for a father in a man, the other, on the contrary, is looking for a child. The third one likes dashing guys, and that's why she couldn't fall in love with a nerd. The fourth needs to command and dominate, so she chooses someone who is already prepared in advance for the role of henpecked.

And if a girl has a Cinderella complex, then she will definitely choose an analogue of her stepmother as her husband, she will suffer from humiliation, but she simply does not know how to do otherwise. For some, the ideal man is the sexy Casanova and, accordingly, she falls in love with the notorious heartthrob and meekly endures his infidelities all her life. There are women who see nothing wrong with periodic fighting and even justify it. It is not surprising that they cannot love a gentle and kind man.

Love or "self-hypnosis"

Growing up, the girl, seeing the example of her parents before her, listening to fairy tales about princes and evil sorcerers, begins to invent for herself the image of her future lover. In the faces and colors she imagines his acquaintance, his courtship. Already planning a wedding, the number and names of children. This model is of great importance for adults personal life women. It is according to her that she will build her life, she will be the standard ideal relationship. Is it possible to create and inspire love? Can. This is what the girl does, dreaming of her prince. When she grows up, she will subconsciously build her life so that it is combined with an imaginary future happiness, she will unconsciously weed out candidates who are not suitable for the role of a loved one and look for him, the only one. And if you can agree to change the details, then in general the model sits so deep in the mind that from there it categorically directs the girl’s actions. If a woman finds her ideal man, then she is happy. And if you are unhappy, then you need to change not only the man, but also the model, otherwise the next one will be exactly the same. But it is extremely difficult to change the model as an adult, which is why it is so important to instill in a little girl the correct idea of ​​family harmony, of her own honor and dignity.

Each one seeks and finds its own. The one who is looking for material well-being, will definitely meet a rich prince who can make her rich. And what's most interesting is that she will love him sincerely, since he meets her criteria ideal man. And it will be difficult to blame her for selfish motives. She simply cannot love a poor man, since no spiritual qualities or appearance are suitable for her. important qualities. It's just that her standard includes prerequisite- wealth. And all other qualities - intelligence, attentiveness, external attractiveness - are already pleasant bonuses.

As we see, love is not blind at all. Cupid's arrow always hits the target. And we love for those qualities that we need and are important, for the sake of which we can even close our eyes to shortcomings, sometimes major ones. But if you are happy, you should not dig into love. She is a subtle matter and does not tolerate rough interference. Just love with all your heart.

Sometimes it’s easy for us to answer why we like this or that person. And it can be quite simple to explain why someone, on the contrary, is unlikable to us. What if we're talking about about love? How to describe in words exactly why and why people love each other? Although leading psychologists say that it is impossible to explain love for someone, this will not make us ask ourselves any less...

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Photo gallery: Why people love each other

Love and Science

For many years, world scientists have been trying to understand the question of what makes women fall in love with men and vice versa. There are few conclusions, they are short and we all know them. Men by nature prefer to love with their eyes, and women with their ears. These are not just words - it is actually backed by science. Scientists also say that we fall in love not under the influence of a fleeting impulse, but out of necessity. We subconsciously find the person who will most contribute to the continuation of our family. But recently new ones have been released amazing facts. Scientists have proven that love really exists!

As a result of research, American psychologists have proven that our brain contains separate zones responsible for love experiences. And when our loved one thinks about us, sees us, communicates, these zones become very active. Moreover, these zones “clog” the work of other important zones. For example, the zone responsible for critical understanding of reality, social assessment and anger. Therefore, if your loved one walks around with a constant smile on his face, then he is not crazy, he just truly loves you. Just for what?

Love and the subconscious

No one wants to believe that we are loved only because of the effect of pheromones. But this is largely true. These are substances that are produced along with sweat and, on a subconscious level, attract a sexual partner. Pheromones act indiscriminately; we cannot always explain the principle of their “work”. That is why “good” girls sometimes choose “bad” guys, or outwardly unattractive girls fall in love with beautiful girls, and at the same time their feelings are mutual. We often explain this attachment between people who are unlike each other in our own way: opposites attract. This is not entirely true in essence, but the result is very similar to the truth. Two people who are similar in every way can easily get bored together. Conflicts can often arise on this basis. And yet, if two people have a similar temperament, then living in a family is not at all easy for them. If both are passive, then there is no one to make decisions, things simply remain unresolved, problems accumulate like a snowball. If both partners are leaders, then the situation is also not easy. Everyone will strive for leadership, will not give in in resolving issues, and will not tolerate insubordination.

Sometimes, in order to save yourself from questions, you can go up and ask your loved one directly why he loves you. But the answer usually doesn’t suit us much. Most likely, the partner will begin to list individual external traits or character traits. For example, your boyfriend may say: “You are so beautiful, cheerful, not like everyone else, etc.” An older man, if he thinks to say something, then something like: “You are caring, sexy, affectionate, original, etc.” Please note that this will be an ordinary “standard” set of those qualities that attract men in women, and women in men.

Sometimes such an answer will indeed look more like a stereotype than a plausible one. But on a subconscious level, we are loved for a completely different reason. For example, a girl suddenly fell in love with a man twice her age. Why did this happen? He can be any ideal, but in general this happened only because the girl grew up without a father and subconsciously looked for a man who could be her support, protection, who would raise her by virtue of his greater life experience. On the other hand, it may be that the girl had a father, but the relationship with him did not work out. This further influences the choice of a partner older than oneself.

It happens that a person is initially inclined to suffer and arouse pity for himself. He chooses a despotic partner who will constantly humiliate and suppress him. That is why certain types of women can steadfastly endure beatings and betrayals by their husbands, or a man can choose powerful and selfish women, subsequently being “under their thumb.” At the same time, they all sincerely love each other.

Love and "self-hypnosis"

As children, we all somehow figuratively imagined our other half. Moreover, sometimes, when we close our eyes, we can clearly see how they love us, how they care for us, we see in detail our ideal wedding, we dream of having children. It is believed that it is precisely those women who were able to create a clear model (necessarily positive) of their adult life, in the future this is exactly the kind of life they will get. It has been proven that love can be instilled in oneself. We instill in ourselves our future ideal feeling so much that it is literally attracted to us over the years. True, sometimes the details do not match, but the essence remains the same. Such women are always happy in marriage; in such families, partners love each other selflessly.

It also happens, for example, when a girl has dreamed all her life of meeting a rich man who, in a fit of love, will shower her with precious gifts, fashionable clothes, and go with her to trip around the world. Having matured, she meets such a person on the way. He is decent, a businessman and not greedy at all. This means she will definitely love you. It is already clear what will be the main advantage of a man for such a girl. However, there is no need to immediately condemn her for selfishness. As a man, she will love him madly, truly. Because such is the power of her self-hypnosis. True, if not for his financial situation, he simply would not have fit her “children’s standard.” Such a man would not become wise, gallant and attentive for her, because he would not have the original basic quality.

We often say: “Love is evil...”. However, love is not as irrational as it seems - people love each other for a reason. You can, if you wish, find your own explanation for everything. Really, why? It is better to love without looking back and with an open heart.