How to make a decision if you are in doubt about changing jobs. How to make the right decision? Learn to trust your inner voice

Our life is a constant series of decisions. They can be both minor and quite serious, which have a great impact on us and lead to serious changes. A person constantly decides what to buy for lunch, where to go in the evening, what book to read, what university to go to study, what profession to choose, how to make a million and so on. And if the cost of the issue is small, then the decision is given to us easily and made quickly, because the loss in case of an error will be small. But the more serious the choice is, the more difficult it is to make. In this case, the right decision can lead to great success, or, on the contrary, it can cause losses and failures. Therefore, it is very important to know how to make the right decision.

Be sure to set yourself a time frame to make the right choice. The presence of a constraint forces you to choose the most effective solution in a given situation. This process is described by the so-called law of forced efficiency.

To make the right choice, you need to collect as much information as possible. The more facts you have at your fingertips, the easier it will be for you to make effective choices. This way you can more or less objectively assess the situation.

Remember that emotions are your enemy in decision making, because during a surge of feelings you cannot think objectively and detachedly. Try to wait for the moment when everything boils over in your soul, and only then get down to business, because in the heat of the moment you can make far from the best decision.

Remember that if the search for the right course of action is related to work, then you can shift this issue to someone else. This way you will save yourself a lot of time. In addition, if you complete a task once, you can expect to have to do it repeatedly. Additional workload without corresponding dividends is absolutely useless. Therefore, think as rationally as possible, because delegation of authority– a very convenient tool for “unloading” your work schedule.

As you make your decision, be sure to prioritize your considerations. Structuring thoughts according to the principle of importance is an excellent skill that will allow you to quickly find an effective way out of any situation. If this skill is not developed, when analyzing complex problems you will constantly get confused in your own reasoning. In addition, there is a risk that you will take the wrong criterion as the basis for making a decision, which will lead to unclear consequences. With a high degree of probability, your choice will be ineffective, and often also a dead end. By making mistakes, you can, of course, develop your decision-making skills over time. But by breaking the so-called “review” of the choice, you will not be able to determine the cause-and-effect relationships that explain why the decision was correct or vice versa. Therefore, before a difficult choice, it is advisable to structure all your thoughts and make a “priority rating” of various factors in your head.

Fear of possible failure also prevents you from finding the right solution. Many fail because of this ineffective feeling. In order for fear not to interfere with you, you need to analyze in detail the consequences that this or that choice can lead to, and then act.

It is best to remain calm when making a decision. If you are a rather suspicious person, you can relax by listening to your favorite music, resting, or, in extreme cases, drinking a sedative.

Objectivity is another factor that will ensure making the right decision. You need to remain honest with yourself and not artificially embellish the facts that contribute to the wrong choice.

Prioritization is one of the most important components when evaluating different options for action. Think about what is most important to you: money, career, family, etc.

In addition, costs must be assessed, since this factor can have a serious impact on the effectiveness of a particular solution.

Most of us very often regret what we have done, believing that we made the wrong choice. In fact, if you think soberly, you can come to the conclusion that there are no right and wrong decisions. If you are committed to achieving goals, and this goal is a priority and important, all actions towards it will be absolutely correct. Choosing the right solution is quite subjective, so be guided by your desires.

Situations often arise that the choice can be postponed until some details are clarified in cases where the delay will not cause any harm. However, you can fall into a trap when new facts increasingly complicate the decision-making process, and unexpected information arises that requires clarification. This paradoxical effect manifests itself in the fact that the more effort and persistence you put into achieving a result, the worse things turn out for you. Or in other words, the longer you take to solve a problem, the more unclear facts about it come to light.

Time in any case limits the ability to analyze various options. Refusing a choice is also a definite solution, although it can often be the most ineffective. For example, if you cannot choose between two professions that are suitable for you, you risk ending up unemployed or becoming an unskilled laborer. In such a situation, any option will be more profitable for you than refusing to choose. And if you still can’t decide, then it would be better to make a decision at random rather than abandon it.

There are times when a hasty decision leads to disaster. In such situations, it is best to wait some time to assess the problem. However, you need to remember that you also cannot delay the moment of making a decision for long (this is especially true for work), since you may either get ahead of you, or the situation may escalate. And then you will regret that you did not make a choice earlier. Only people in high positions can allow themselves to think through various options in detail, because they know that no one else can make a decision except them.

It is not necessary to solve a serious problem solely on your own. You can always consult with your friends or family. A task voiced several times will clarify the situation as a whole, and it will be much easier for you to find a simple and ingenious way out of the current situation. In addition, your interlocutors can give really good advice. The only point is that you shouldn’t tell everyone about your problems, because this way you won’t get anywhere, but will only waste a lot of time on useless complaints. Besides, everyone is ready to give advice, and too much advice can easily confuse you.

If you are used to relying on the opinions of loved ones, then in situations that require prompt action, you can imagine in your head what your friend would advise you. This kind of internal dialogue can be incredibly helpful in many cases.

When making decisions, ignore emotions that are aimed at achieving quick results. Such false zeal can play a cruel joke on you. In order to avoid possible negative consequences, you should use Susie Welch's “10-10-10” method, which consists of guessing where your decision will lead in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.

Always look for alternative opportunities. You should not completely give preference to just one idea, blindly believing in its correctness. Come up with at least a few more options to compare with your first. Imagine that the original idea simply does not exist, and think about what you will do in such a situation. You will definitely find several more alternatives.

If you still can’t decide 100%, go to bed, and a great solution may come to you overnight. This is explained by the fact that our subconscious knows all possible ways out of the current situation. During sleep, a continuous process of analysis will occur, and in the morning your subconscious mind can give you the best option. Before you go to bed, ask yourself the question again, then put a pen and a piece of paper near you. This is necessary in order to quickly capture a thought if necessary.

Don't ignore your intuition methods for developing intuition), because our inner voice makes mistakes much less often than our mind. Therefore, before making a decision, try to listen to your feelings. If you experience any discomfort, then you should reconsider other options.

Now you know what helps you make the right decision. Let's look at how to stick to your chosen option.

How to follow a decision

Once you have made a decision, start acting immediately without delay, since any kind of delay will only reduce your chances of success. achieving success. In addition, you are sowing the seed of a bad habit of constantly procrastinating, which can lead to you never achieving your intended results.

Remember that changing your decision after you have already passed halfway to the goal is at least ineffective. Be true to your original views. This way you will build confidence that you are doing everything right, and success will not be long in coming. However, be careful. If you realize that your path clearly leads to failure, it is better to abandon it as early as possible. Remember that even successful entrepreneurs change course very often. Find a balance between flexibility and persistence. In this case, you will move towards your goal persistently, and you will be able to quickly change your plan of action without much loss for yourself.

Finally, it should be noted that in order to learn to make the right decisions, personal experience should be used. At the same time, be guided by the above tips, because your decisions cannot be correct in 100% of cases. Constant changes in the surrounding reality force you to change. So be flexible in the process of choosing the right solution. Remember that your methods may fail, no matter how perfect they seem to you. Experiment more and take tactical steps that are unusual for you, because the comfort zone in which you are used to being leads to degradation. Personal experience is one of the most faithful advisers.

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4 227 0 Hello! In this article we will tell you how to make the right decision when in doubt.

Every day we make several decisions a day, starting from choosing a menu for breakfast and ending with our social circle. Most of our decisions are harmless and cannot radically change our lives, but there are also those on which our entire future life completely depends. In difficult situations, we often begin to doubt ourselves and the correctness of our decision, rush between several options and waste a lot of time and energy instead of taking action.

How to make the right decision in life

Decision making is a real science. However, there is nothing supernatural in it; every person can quickly and correctly learn to make decisions. It is enough to have courage, take responsibility for your life into your own hands and adhere to several rules and methods.

There are several ways to make decisions:

heuristic(based on feelings and intuition)
algorithm(based on informed decisions, study of information and analysis).

Ideally, there should be harmony between rational thinking and intuition.

In addition, the manner in which you solve problems largely depends on your personality type and temperament. Thus, extroverts prefer not to think for a long time, but to immediately begin to act, while introverts analyze a lot and can “freeze” for a long time before making a decision. Both of these strategies can fail: the extrovert will end up messing things up, and the introvert will remain stuck in the problem and wait for it to resolve itself.

Basic rules for decision making

There are some rules that you should follow if you are in doubt while making a decision.

Remember your life priorities and stick to them strictly. Think about what is really important to you and why you work, study, etc. Often values and priorities are artificially replaced by society.
For example, The principle of “money for money’s sake” is becoming fashionable. When applying for a job, think about what you really value and why are you doing it? If you value your family and communication with your children very much, a highly paid job with constant overtime may simply not be suitable for you. By keeping your attention on the main thing, making decisions becomes much easier.
Try it if possible. You can think endlessly about what would happen if you went and did something, or you can just try and then make a decision.
Eg If you dream of becoming a famous graphic designer, apply for an internship at an advertising agency. By looking at your dream job from the inside, it will be much easier to make a decision.
Limit your options. You should have a choice, but remember that the abundance of options does not help, but, on the contrary, makes it difficult to make a decision.
Come up with an algorithm of actions if a certain situation occurs.
Eg, if you started your own business, but after a year it has not started generating income, you stop investing in an unprofitable enterprise. Such “backup” algorithms allow you to calculate risks and insure yourself in case of an unfavorable course of the situation.
Seek advice from loved ones and more experienced people. It is important to be able to process these tips. Of course, outside opinions and information received are very important. However, do not forget that sometimes people give advice by projecting their own fears and failures onto your life. Be careful and don't be influenced by other people's opinions.
State the problem several times. Seeking advice is useful not so much to hear advice as to talk through the situation. When we repeat our question several times, already at the moment of speaking, new unexpected thoughts and ideas come to us.
Stop thinking and analyzing and just act. Sometimes we have nothing to lose in a given situation, so why waste your time and energy thinking about it? Wherever there are no losses, act immediately and decisively.
Postpone your decision until tomorrow. Sometimes weighing and making a decision is much easier with a fresh mind. In addition, sometimes it is useful to rely on your subconscious and ask yourself an exciting question at night. Perhaps the first thought that comes to mind immediately after waking up will turn out to be the right option.
Limit the time for making a decision. The law of forced efficiency comes into force.
Rely not only on your experience, but also on current changes in the situation.
If you have made decisions, act immediately!

What should you not do?

Don't turn off your intuition. It’s still worth listening to your body and “signs from above.”
Do not delay in making a decision and implementing it. Otherwise, you will remain stuck with the problem.
Never regret the decisions you make. Remember that there is no ideal course of action. Everything that happens to us happens for a reason and is already the most correct decision. Maybe if we had made a different decision, there would have been a lot more problems?
Do not abuse advice and do not ask everyone.
Don't shift responsibility for your life to someone else.
Don't be led by your emotions.

Eliminating emotions

Before making a decision, it is very important to get rid of interfering emotions: fear, nervousness, excitement, etc. Such emotions prevent you from concentrating on the main thing, constantly draw attention to insignificant details and do not allow you to adequately look at the situation.

Fear

In order to get rid of fear, you need to very vividly imagine the worst case scenario. Of course, it will be greatly exaggerated, but replaying a frightening moment in your imagination will allow you to touch your own fear and prepare for possible problems on the way to your goal.

Breath

No matter how trivial it may be, deep and slow abdominal breathing will help get rid of interfering arousal. You need to breathe deeply with your stomach, while your chest practically does not move. Take 10 slow breaths in and out, holding your breath slightly for 5-7 slow counts.

Wait

Just wait. Momentary impulses and desires are not always worthy of immediate implementation. Sometimes they pass as quickly as they appear in our heads. It’s better to wait until the wave of excitement and emotions subsides than to do something stupid.

Stay focused

Try to be here and now as much as possible at the moment of making a decision. Stop being distracted by external factors and various little things. If necessary, retreat and be alone. Plunge into the problem headlong and concentrate on it.

Rule 10/10/10

To cool down your ardor, sometimes it’s enough to ask yourself three questions:

How will I feel about my decision in 10 minutes?
In 10 months?
After 10 years?

While doing this practice, try to remain as honest with yourself as possible.

Remember this state when a friend turns to us for advice. We clearly see the situation and do not pay attention to various little things. Try to look at your problem from the outside and give yourself adequate advice.

Ideal "I"

Choose the ideal one from the proposed options. Try not to think about what you want. Our desires do not always benefit us.

Decision making methods

Throughout its existence, humanity has come up with many ways to make the right decision. But before you begin to get acquainted with these methods, you need to understand what the correct solution consists of:

Information. These are dry facts without emotional coloring and information distortions.
Selectivity in information. Not all facts should be taken on faith or projected onto your life.
Concentration on the problem and its solution.
Experience. Mostly your own, but the experience of loved ones is also very valuable.
Flexibility and ability to adapt to changing situations.
An adequate assessment of what is happening.
Consistency in decision making and subsequent actions.

Avoid restrictions and boundaries

People tend to choose between two extremes: "Yes" or "No". Should I buy a car on credit or not? Divorce or not? To quit or not? We drive ourselves into the framework of a difficult choice, while the true answer to the question may be hidden in the middle or lie on a different plane altogether.

For example, someone wants to buy a car on credit, but is hesitant because he does not want to go into debt. Perhaps the question should simply be put differently and buy a cheaper car, rent an apartment closer to work, or even find a job near your current place of residence.

Try to think more broadly and avoid yes/no boxes.

Dream Diary

Imagine the goal in all its colors and your future life when you achieve it. Answer the following questions:

How will I feel?
Why do I need this?
Will I become more confident in myself?
What opportunities will open up for me?

Describe your fantasies in detail in a diary, answer questions and re-read the entries every day. At first you won't believe what you read, but over time your subconscious mind will accept the new picture.

In addition, a clear vision of your own dreams and goals helps you make decisions. The main thing is to always remember why you wake up in the morning.

Expand your choice

Don't get attached to the first option you come across. Check out other alternative solutions. What if it turns out that there are much better and more profitable options? However, you should not expand the choice to an unlimited number of options. Remember that this will only make it more difficult to solve the problem.

Disappearance

Imagine that the option you chose suddenly disappeared. What will you do in this case?

This method allows you to get rid of attachment to one specific decision and get out of the dead end of thinking.

Search for information

Study thoroughly everything related to the problem and ways to solve it. Reading reviews on the Internet has become a common ritual before purchasing a product or service. But for some reason, not everyone does the same when choosing a university or a new place of work.

Research the issue on the Internet and, if possible, communicate with those who worked or studied at this institution. This will already half protect you from making the wrong choice.

In addition, you can ask questions directly during the interview. Do not specify what bonuses the company can offer and whether there are additional “goodies” for employees. It’s better to ask who was in this position before, how many people left this vacancy and why, where they are now and how you can contact them. The answers to these questions will already be enough to make an informed decision.

If it is difficult to make a decision, you can use the Descartes square method. To do this, draw a square on a piece of paper and divide it with two lines into four more squares. In the upper left square, write everything that you will get by making this decision, and in the right - everything that you will get by not making it. In the lower squares, respectively, are everything that you will not get if you make this decision, and everything that you will not get if you do not make it.

After you finish writing all the pros and cons of this solution, all that remains is to calculate their ratio and quantity:

Subtract the number of minuses from the number of pluses in the upper right square.
Carry out the same operation with the left column of the square.
Make a decision.

Three Question Method

There is a theory that before making a decision you need to ask yourself three times. The first time the answer will come based on emotions, the second time - on the basis of logic, and the third time the answer will be the closest to the truth.

Try on different hats

You can also make a decision in a playful way. To do this, imagine that you have seven hats of different colors and each of them can radically change the way you think:

Red- makes you excitable and emotional;
Lilac- allows you to always remain rational;
Blue- includes intuition;
Black- makes you see only the negative and pass everything through the prism of a defeatist attitude;
Pink- makes you overly self-confident and incapable of self-criticism;
Orange— generates impossible projects and makes fantastic plans;
White - gives wisdom.

Try on all the hats and try to derive the average from the entire flow of thoughts and feelings.

Eliminating uninteresting options

You can make a choice from several alternatives using the elimination method. Remove the most unattractive option out there. Then remove another one and another one. Continue eliminating undesirable options until one option remains.

Lesser of evils

Our choices are not always associated with pleasant things. Sometimes, no matter what we choose, the consequences will not be very pleasant. What to do in this case? Accept the situation as it is and try to choose what will be least unpleasant for you.

PMI method

The abbreviation PMI can be deciphered as Plus, Minus, Interesting . Make a table with three columns. In the first, write down all the possible advantages of the decision made, in the second - the disadvantages, and in the third - just all the interesting remarks, nuances and comments that are neither pros nor cons.

This plate will help you visualize all the advantages and disadvantages of the decision made and once again weigh the pros and cons.

Practice five guiding questions

Let's assume you have already chosen a solution for your problem. How to check whether you are moving in the right direction and whether it is worth changing it? The five question method will help you with this:

Do I want this (to become someone/do something/have something)? If the answer is yes, we continue asking questions.
If I do this (become someone/do something/acquire something), will I remain in harmony with myself, the world, the Universe and God (for believers)? If yes, then we continue.
If I do this, will it bring me closer to my dream? Yes? Let's continue.
If I do this, will it violate anyone's rights? If not, then you can ask yourself one last question.
If I do this, will it make me or anyone else better?

If you have reached the last question and the answer is yes, you can safely assume that you are on the right track.

Algorithm for independent decision making

To learn how to make decisions on your own, take a piece of paper and a pen.

Write on a piece of paper exactly what your problem is.
List the reasons why it needs to be addressed.
Describe in detail the desired outcome of events.
Write down all possible solutions to the issue and actions that need to be taken.
Analyze your answers, relate them to current opportunities and start taking action.

How to decide on a job?

As you prepare to leave your job or have multiple jobs to choose from, think about your life priorities and values. If your family is at the forefront of everything, it is wrong to choose a job with long hours and constant delays at work, even if you get good pay for it.

In this case, it would be a good idea to ask a friend for help. After all, real risks and imaginary fears are always better visible from the outside. If you don't have anyone to ask, try giving yourself advice yourself. Try to turn off your emotions, because changing jobs can change your life for both the worse and the better.

How to decide on divorce?

If family life has cracked and everything is bad, sometimes thoughts of divorce may flash through. Don't rush to cut from the shoulder. Wait until your emotions calm down and your head becomes clear. It may be a good idea to live apart from your spouse for a little while.

Do not rush to turn to loved ones for advice. If you later change your mind and make peace with your husband or wife, your loved ones will condemn him/her, consider him/her an enemy and put a spoke in your wheels. In addition, personal life is one of those areas of life where decisions should remain exclusively yours, so that later you do not bitterly regret that you blindly listened to someone’s advice.

Remember to avoid narrow boundaries and radical solutions. Perhaps the question “To divorce or not?” put incorrectly and there are other solutions, for example: sort out the relationship, work through grievances, have a heart-to-heart talk, improve relationships or contact a family psychologist.

If you understand that you are much better off separately than in an alliance with your partner, and the relationship cannot be restored, perhaps it is worth getting a divorce rather than fighting for a destructive relationship that no one needs.

How can I help you make a decision?

Every person is the master of his own life. Therefore, give others the opportunity to build their own lives, win and make mistakes. If you see that your loved one doubts himself, give him the opportunity to make his own decision and do not interfere with unsolicited advice. Of course, if you are asked for advice, you can express your opinion and say what you would do, but no more. You have no right to make decisions for another person or take responsibility for their life.

What prevents us from making adequate decisions? (Dan Gilbert)

Throughout our lives, we repeatedly have to make various decisions. And it often happens that we hesitate: should we do this or that way?

Or we don’t even understand what to do... What to do in such cases? How to behave so as not to regret what you did later? In fact, there are many ways that will help you.

Method one. Reasoning.

It is suitable for people who think rationally and are used to reasoning with.

Try to calculate the consequences of this or that action. It's best to write down all the pros and cons on a piece of paper to make it clearer. Let's say you've been offered a new job, but you're unsure whether to accept or not. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two halves and on one half write down all the advantages of the proposed position, for example, “high salary”, “growth prospects”, “social package”, on the second - negative factors - “work far from home”, “irregular schedule” , “little information about this company”, etc.

Look at both halves of the sheet and count how many pros and cons you have. Now highlight what is your priority. After all, let’s assume that salary and career can completely compensate for some inconveniences. And it also happens that money and career are not the main thing for you, but you want to return home early and spend the weekend with your family. This method will simply help you visually put everything into categories, and this will make it easier to finally make a decision.

Method two. Intuition.

Suitable for people with an intuitive type of thinking. Listen to what. If you have been offered a job or, say, marriage, and the offer seems good, but for some reason you are not inclined to accept it, then maybe it’s not worth it? And, on the contrary, if your mind doubts, but your heart tells you to do just that, shouldn’t you follow its lead? If your intuitive premonitions have already been justified before, then that means you can completely trust them.

Method three. Try your luck.

This is for magically minded citizens. We're talking about different ones. Not even necessarily traditional ones, like cards or the I-Ching. You can simply wish: “If the next candy I take out of this bag is green, then I will go to this place, and if it is red, then I will refuse the trip.” The main thing is to get the candies without looking.

You can also “tell fortunes” using a watch. Experts say that if on the dial, when you glance at it. there will be a “jackpot” - say, 11 hours 11 minutes, then you can rest assured: the upcoming meeting or undertaking will be successful for you. If the first two digits are greater than the second two, say 21 hours zero three minutes, you should not rush to make a decision. If, on the contrary, for example, the clock shows 15:39, it means that time is pressing on you: hurry up so as not to miss your chance.

Now special balls for decision-making have appeared on sale. You formulate a question, shake the ball and look at the answer in the window. Just remember that the ball does not predict the future, but only tells you what to expect and how best to act in a given situation.

Method four. Reading the signs of fate.

Suitable for those who are interested, if not in mysticism, then in psychology and. When thinking about a solution, pay attention to what is happening around you. Suppose you are planning to go somewhere, but you are not sure whether to go or not. And then suddenly the phones start ringing and you are bombarded with requests from friends, you lose the keys to your apartment and discover that the sole of your shoe has fallen off... Most likely, Providence is telling you: it’s not worth going to this meeting.

Or someone offers you cooperation, and his last name turns out to be the same as that of a person whom you knew many years ago and with whom you had some kind of unpleasant situation... Is it a coincidence?

Or you are planning a tourist trip, and suddenly, by a strange coincidence, you come across a post on the Internet from a former client of that same travel company, who recalls with horror how he used its services...

They ask you to borrow a large sum, and then the title of the note catches your eye: “Company N has gone bankrupt”...

You have had a stabbing pain in your lower back for three months now, but you can’t decide whether to go to the doctor. And then you catch a snippet of someone else’s conversation on the subway: “I did an ultrasound yesterday, they said there was a kidney stone...”

You are wondering whether to go on a date with the gentleman who invited you, and on the radio they sing: “Don’t go to meet him, don’t go. He has a granite pebble in his chest.” Why not a hint?

A “picture” can also carry a hint. For example, you are not sure whether you should connect your destiny with this particular person. And suddenly you see a couple of tender swans on the pond. Or, on the contrary, you meet a couple of cats desperately fighting on the street... Draw the appropriate conclusions.

Of course, you shouldn’t take literally every little thing for granted. But if a word or event caught your attention, stuck in your memory, or it clearly seemed to you that “it’s all about you,” that it’s connected specifically to your situation, then it makes sense to take it into account. Good luck with your decisions!

There comes a time in every person's life when he some serious decision needs to be made, which can greatly change his fate. As a rule, if a person realizes the difficulty of his situation, then making such decisions is very difficult. It's easy to make fateful decisions when you don't think or when you don't understand what. What can a person who understands his situation and is faced with the need to make a difficult decision find support? I invite you to think with me about possible answers to this question.

Give yourself time

To make any decision you need time. And it’s good if we are for these purposes allocate it to ourselves. In the old days, sages could deliberately retire in order to better concentrate on some important issue. Now the pace of our lives is so great that stopping for a while and focusing on something important to ourselves is becoming increasingly difficult. And without this it is very difficult to make a decision. After all, it is so important to think, analyze your situation, find and be disappointed in certain solutions, reach a dead end, and then again look for a way out of it.

All of these are integral components of searching and making a decision. And if we do not give ourselves time, then decisions can be impulsive and thoughtless, based on a fleeting mood or...

Somehow it turns out that in difficult situations our . Or there are so many “smart” thoughts that you can get lost in them; or the wind begins to blow through your head and your mind refuses to work. In this case, relying on your own feelings can help. Only this should be relying not on momentary emotions(joy, anger, fear, etc.), but for deep feelings that live in each of us. It is very easy for someone to hear the voice of these feelings within themselves, and they only need to listen to themselves, but for others it is completely unknown how to hear the wave of their feelings in the general noise enveloping the soul. I will share with you the advice of one of my friends, who told me how he does it. Personally, I really liked his advice.

So, first you will need to find a quiet place where you can retire. Once you have done this, find something nearby that you can focus your attention on. It’s better if it’s some kind of shiny object (it’s easier to focus on this for a long time). Sit comfortably, fix your gaze on this object, and while sitting like this, begin to gradually listen to yourself. To do this, imagine that inside you there is emptiness, silence, nothing. Listen to this silence and emptiness. Don't let your thoughts distract you from this silence. And if thoughts distract you, then simply notice what they are about and let them go. Gradually, something will begin to appear in this emptiness. Notice what comes to the surface. These are the feelings we are looking for. They can appear in the form of images, vague premonitions, sensations in the body. As soon as you notice something in yourself, try to listen to it and give your experiences the opportunity to unfold.

This whole procedure can be figuratively represented as follows. You are walking through the forest and you need to go out onto the road along which cars drive. This road is far away. You are walking and behind the crunch of branches and leaves under your feet, you cannot hear in which direction this road is. You stop and freeze to listen where the road is. And you don’t hear it right away, but only after a short period of time, when the ear adjusts to silence and hearing becomes sharper. It’s the same with feelings. You must first stop and stop all internal work, and then listen to where the “sound of your feelings” comes from within you.

If you manage to hear the voice of your feelings, hear your true desires, then this can provide support and the direction in which you would like to move. And if such a general direction becomes clear, then making a decision turns out to be much easier (and sometimes it simply becomes self-evident).

Self-deception test

An important guideline when making a decision can be feeling of inner agreement. This feeling can appear in reverse form, in the form feelings, if you refuse a decision, or, on the contrary, internally insist on the need to make it. Usually this feeling is similar to some kind of internal discomfort, something gnawing inside and tormenting, as if you were betraying yourself. It is very important to ask yourself in a difficult situation: “Why am I here? Why should I do such and such? What is the meaning of my decision? If you don't know what decision to make, then it's worth asking yourself about the meaning of the situation in which you are forced to make a decision. Why did you end up in it? Why did you come to it? By finding answers to these questions, you can better understand why you find yourself in a decision-making or choice situation. And after that, you can ask yourself whether you are betraying what you came to this situation for, and yourself at the same time, by choosing this or that solution.

Fighting doubts

It must be said that doubts often arise when if the decision is made under pressure(internal or external). If the decision is hard-won and internally matured, then doubts and regrets do not arise. Well, if the choice has not yet matured internally, but it needs to be made as soon as possible, then confusion and a desire to find the “right” solution appear. In such a state, any choice will be wrong. Such a decision will always be followed by a trail of regrets and doubts. There is only one way out here - to think about what forces you right now (“as soon as possible”) to make a choice and make a decision. More precisely, what doesn’t suit you about it? And here it is better to think about what else can be done to remove this internal dissatisfaction without radically changing the situation.

Generally speaking, the best advice here is don't put pressure on yourself. Don't force yourself to make a decision. Allow yourself not to accept it. Relax. Be like a samurai who, with an unshakable spirit, stands on the edge of a cliff and looks at the blue sky, enjoying its beauty. Take your time and allow yourself to look at the situation a little.

Acceptance of sacrifice

In any choice, in any decision you, one way or another, forced to give up something. There is something important and valuable that must be sacrificed by choosing one alternative or another. You should be prepared for this. In order to experience the victim more effectively (so to speak), it is necessary to approach it with the awareness of what exactly are you losing. When you clearly understand what you are giving up, then it is easier for you to survive the consequences of making such a difficult decision.

In order to better understand what you will have to give up, try to complete the following sentence within yourself: “I will never again...”. By talking inside yourself about everything that you have to part with, you can, on the one hand, better understand the importance of this or that alternative and, on the other hand, gain courage and willingness to take responsibility for the decision made. One way to help you accept this sacrifice is to realize what you are paying for in the form of the benefits you are giving up. This is your choice, and for every choice in life we must pay something and sacrifice something for the sake of something more valuable to us.

Final point

To give your decision more weight, you need to "pump him up with energy". How to do it? There are two options here. On the one hand, you can take one of the alternatives that you want to refuse and imagine the worst possible scenario. This can be done by saying to yourself the following words: “if I choose such and such, I will suffer from such and such all my life.” You can do it like this.

Or you can find the positive that is in the choice to which you are inclined, and keep it in your mind, in your imagination, keep it as a goal, as the lighthouse you want to lead your ship to. Can remember more often the good things you strive for, especially in moments of doubt and hesitation.

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There is only one person who is capable of leading destiny - you yourself. It’s stupid to sit waiting for the impossible; you need to achieve success, act, be decisive, and show fortitude. It happens that circumstances are against us, what should we do? The answer is simple:

do not despair;
never give up;
set goals for yourself;
fight for your happiness, no matter what.

Agree, every person at least once suffered from depression, stress, misunderstanding or betrayal; he wanted peace, a quick solution to the problem. Alas, we must perceive reality as it is. Until there is determination, results will have nowhere to come from.

You can get rid of any obstacle and you need to do it with enthusiasm, understanding that obstacles change thinking, make us stronger, wiser, more demanding.

You should look for an individual approach to every trouble in life, which depends on many factors: goals, values, priorities, etc.

Sometimes it seems that there is no way out, making the right decision is an impossible task. But life goes on as usual, and it is much better to be an active participant in it than to just sit and constantly suffer, and then be angry with yourself because of missed opportunities. Difficulties provide an opportunity to enjoy joys, victories, accept defeats, and adapt to changes.

So how to make the right decision and not regret anything? This is exactly what will be discussed in the article.

The main thing is motivation

Don’t change for the sake of others, don’t prove anything to anyone, just be conscious of the opportunity to motivate yourself correctly. Understand why this is needed, what ways there are to implement your plans, then even a complex decision will be easier.

The most persistent and responsible one who really wants to achieve a result understands that he simply does not have the right to give up.

In essence, a motive is an impetus to action. If arguments can be made, then this can no longer be attributed to spontaneity and thoughtlessness, which means that there is no risk of harm.

It is important to analyze your own thoughts; if in doubt, think carefully and take your time.

Let's give an example

If a girl is overweight and dreams of an ideal figure, then it is wise to follow the example of athletes. You can turn to a nutritionist for advice, and not starve yourself in a panic and ruin your health.

Motivation is great, but it must be real, help in making difficult decisions, and not create new troubles.

Trust your intuition

As a rule, it is better not to make an important decision in a hurry; you need to think, weigh all the pros and cons, but if you need to decide quickly, do it as you originally planned.

Usually the subconscious mind tells us the right option. Whatever comes to mind first often works with a bang.

The more we think, the more questions and doubts appear.

Never bring yourself to the point of nervous exhaustion.
Don't suffer.
Learn not to delay solving a problem.
Act coherently, perceive what is happening without panic.

Before you trust your intuition, think about whether you or someone you know has been in such a situation before, is it possible to predict the outcome, do you have enough experience and knowledge to independently determine the difficulties that have arisen?

Use Descartes Square

There is a simple scheme proposed by Rene Descartes that will simplify the task of making the right decisions.

For example, we are thinking about changing jobs, but we are afraid that we will screw up. Let's plunge into reality and determine how adequate the thoughts are in our heads.

It is correct not to focus on one of the parties, but to analyze the action with its possible consequences.

It is best to work with a square in written form. Detailed written answers will push you to the right decision without doubt.

What does a Descartes square look like:

All four questions should be answered with broad statements that will help you stay in the same job or quit, break up, or continue your relationship with the person. We need to find arguments to convince ourselves, to understand how strong our values, goals, desires, and priorities are.

There is always at least one person who is involved in our lives and is ready to help.

From the outside, a friend can consider the same situation, only calmer, reason more sensibly. It’s easier for everyone when it concerns us indirectly.

If there is no such person, imagine that they came to you for help with such a problem, then you will be able to show calmness and a cool mind.

Decide on your priorities

When it comes to something serious, you should forget about the opinions of the masses, inheritance, and collective wisdom.

You cannot be negligent or lack of independence, manage your life without the help of outsiders, show your ideas, and do not chase what is trending.
Don't let people force anything on you. Everyone is different by nature, everyone has their own purpose.

Based on character, morals, values, hobbies, areas of activity, priorities should be formed. We get what is close to us and makes us rejoice.

The morning is wiser than the evening

For some reason, the brightest thoughts come to me at night. Naturally, no cherished insight will happen in the morning, but by delaying the moment a little, you can make a worthwhile decision. It will be rethought several times and with a logical conclusion.

Emotions aside

Always make the final decision yourself. Don’t try to push away responsibility, to shield yourself from the problem instead of trying to solve it. Don't rely on luck or a happy coincidence. Be responsible for everything that happens in life.

Remember: The life position of an outsider is a way of existing “as long as no one touches.”

Emotions are life, but you always need to take over and be able to manage them. In the heat of the moment, you can do something that you will regret for a long time.