How to get a person out of depression: mental resuscitation. Depression and crisis in a man - What should a woman do?

Psychologist.

Dealing with depression or anxiety is a lot of work and asking for help in such a situation is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.

Why is depression in men usually not recognized?

There are several reasons why symptoms of depression in men are not commonly recognized. For example, men tend to deny that they have problems because they have to “be strong.” And culture assumes that expressing emotions is largely a feminine trait. As a result, depressed men are more likely to talk about physical symptoms of their depression, such as feeling tired, rather than emotional symptoms.

Men tend to put off dealing with health issues, especially when it comes to mental health. They are not inclined to discuss their mental health at all and therefore may be very late in getting help. If your husband is depressed and you understand this, do your best to help him.

Men are brought up in our country as people who are alien to sentiment, who do not have the right to cry, who always owe something to someone, are obliged, are responsible. Such pressure cannot but affect the psyche and depression overtakes men, maybe a little less often, but just as strongly. Our society expects men to handle the problem themselves, or to “toughen up” and overcome it.

Men may also not admit that he feels a little different, for example, he is vulnerable. He may think that being depressed or anxious is a weakness. These are actually common health problems and help exists and is available. Such “rigidity” can be too difficult for one’s own psyche, as well as for family and friends.

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly what causes depression or anxiety. These may be different reasons for different people. You may be going through difficult times, or perhaps you have had a lot of problems arise over time. Sometimes there is no obvious reason.

Some of the common risk factors for men may include:

Physical injuries;
Relationships, difficulties and conflict in relationships;
Major changes in life, for example, becoming a dad;
Problems at work;
Unemployment, especially if it lasts for a long time;
Overweight;
Retirement;
Financial problems;
No close friends, no one to talk to;
Divorce;
Drugs and alcohol.

Depression does affect both genders. It destroys relationships and interferes with work and daily activities. Symptoms of depression in men are similar to symptoms of depression in women. But men tend to express these symptoms differently.

Common symptoms of depression include loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities, fatigue, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and apathy. In women, depression may be more likely to cause feelings of sadness and worthlessness. On the other hand, depression in men can lead to them simply becoming disconnected from life or feeling irritable, aggressive, and hostile.

Does depression in men affect sexual desire and procreation?

Yes. Depression in men can affect sexual desire and procreation. Unfortunately, some antidepressants and other medications can do the same thing. Men are often reluctant to admit problems with their sexuality. Many people mistakenly believe that problems are related to their masculinity, when in fact they are caused by a medical problem such as clinical depression.

What are the signs of depression in men?

Men are less likely to show more "typical" signs of depression, such as sadness. Depression in men can cause them to hide their feelings. Instead of expressing depressed mood, they may appear more irritable and aggressive. For these reasons, many men, as well as doctors and other health professionals, may not recognize the problem as depression. Typically, women who experience depression say they feel hopeless and helpless. Men are more likely to mention physical symptoms rather than emotional or psychological ones (such as fatigue or an upset stomach). Men are less likely to think of it as depression, anxiety or a mental disorder.

Here are the most common symptoms that help recognize depression and anxiety.

Symptoms of depression in men

You spend a lot of time alone;
Do not enjoy what you usually did with pleasure;
Feeling restless, moody, or irritable;
You are aggressive, although you have not noticed this before;
Feeling like you have lost;
unexplained headaches, back pain, or other physical pain;
Stomach problems, nausea, stool changes;
Feeling of fear;
Changes in your sex drive;
Significant weight loss without dieting or weight gain and changes in appetite;
Insomnia or hypersomnia almost every day;
Psychomotor restlessness or slowness almost every day;
Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day;
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt;
Diminished ability to think or concentrate, and/or indecisiveness;
Recurrent thoughts of death, repeated suicidal ideation without a plan, or a suicide attempt or suicide plan.

What are the consequences of untreated depression in men?

Depression in men can have devastating consequences. Men are three to four times more likely than women to commit suicide. 80% of all people who commit suicide are men. Although more women attempt suicide, many more men complete the act, effectively ending their lives. This may be because men tend to use more lethal and violent methods to commit suicide, such as using a gun rather than overdosing on pills.

Why is depression in men so difficult to detect?

Understanding how boys are raised in our society and how they are expected to behave is especially important for identifying and treating their depression as adults. Depression in men can often be linked to cultural expectations. People must be successful. They must curb their emotions. They must control everything and everyone. These cultural expectations may mask some of the true symptoms of depression. Instead, men may express aggression and anger - perceived as more acceptable "tough guy" behavior.

Is there a stigma around depression in men?

Yes. And men tend to have a hard time coping with the stigma (social labels) of depression. They are more likely to cope with their symptoms by drinking alcohol, abusing drugs, or engaging in other risky behaviors. Many men avoid talking about depressed feelings to friends or family.

How common is depression in older men?

Although depression is not a normal part of aging, in older men there may be medical causes such as heart disease, stroke, cancer or other stressors that can contribute to depression. Or there may be increased losses (such as friends, physical health, spouses, income, meaningful work). Retirement is difficult for many men because it takes them out of their normal schedule. These changes and loss of self-esteem may also contribute to depression. Additionally, the death of family and friends, the onset of other health problems, and even certain medications can contribute to depression in mature men.

How is depression treated in men?

More than 80% of people with depression—both men and women—can be successfully treated with antidepressants, psychotherapy, or a combination of both.

How can a man get out of depression?

If you're not ready to talk about it, there are many practical things you can do without anyone knowing:

Sleep

A good night's sleep is a basic need. Perhaps you could try these strategies: go to bed early; make your room as dark as possible; turn off televisions; computers and game consoles in the bedroom; Avoid or reduce smoking, coffee, cola, energy drinks and alcohol, especially before bed; if you are worried about something, get up and write it down, try to deal with it the next day; do physical exercise every day, but not before bedtime; Do things that can help you relax, such as taking a warm shower, yoga, meditation, muscle relaxation, or breathing practices.

Alcohol and drugs

Alcohol is a depressant. Anxiety can be aggravated by frequent drinking and may contribute to depression. And yes, beer too. Alcohol can interact with some medications you take for depression or anxiety, making their effects stronger and worsening side effects, so it's a good idea to reduce your alcohol intake or, better yet, avoid it altogether.

Food and drink

Eating healthy helps your body work well and helps you feel good. That's because, just like your body, your brain's functioning is affected by what you eat. Your brain needs a constant flow of energy to function properly, concentrate and focus, and strengthen your emotions. To boost your energy and feel good, try to eat: lots of vegetables and fruits; grain products, mainly whole grains, and those that naturally contain fiber; dairy products – mainly low and reduced fat; some legumes such as chickpeas and lentils; proteins such as nuts, seeds or eggs; poultry, fish and other seafood, or red meat (with fat removed). Eating in a quiet place is extremely beneficial and can lift your mood.

Physical activity

Physical activity has been shown to be one of the most effective ways to help yourself with depression. Unfortunately, if you're depressed or anxious, being active can be difficult. Eventually the positive reactions will return. Physical activity produces “good” hormones. You get distracted, get out of the house, socialize, set new goals, create a new life, achieve something and feel fulfilled. Physical activity does not necessarily mean going to the gym. This could be going to the shops or mowing the lawn.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy or “talk therapy” is a general term that refers to treating depression by talking through triggers and responses with a mental health professional. There are different types of psychotherapy that can be effective in treating depression.

Cognitive behavioral therapy: This short-term therapy helps you replace negative and unproductive thinking patterns with more realistic and helpful ones. This treatment focuses on taking specific steps to manage and reduce symptoms.
Interpersonal "talk" therapy: This targeted therapy focuses on interpersonal problem solving and symptomatic recovery.
Problem-solving therapy: This treatment helps people learn tools to effectively manage the negative effects of stressful life events.

Psychotherapy can help people with depression:

Coping with the crisis;
Identify and replace negative beliefs;
Explore relationships and experiences and create positive connections;
Find adaptive ways to solve problems;
Identify problems that contribute to depression;
Set realistic goals;
Develop the ability to tolerate stress.

Medicines

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and serotonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor drugs are effective treatments for depression. Other possible medications include atypical antidepressants, tricyclic antidepressants, and monoamine oxidase inhibitors.

Different people have different reactions to medications. It is important to work closely with your mental health professional and report any side effects. This is especially important for men because side effects may include sexual dysfunction and then the doctor will prescribe other drugs. Never stop taking antidepressants without consulting the doctor who prescribed them. Stopping treatment suddenly may cause withdrawal symptoms and cause a sudden worsening of depressive symptoms. Severe cases of depression may require hospitalization. Inpatient mental health care helps patients stay safe until their condition improves, especially if they are experiencing suicidal ideation or suicide attempts.

Depression is a true epidemic of the 21st century. And if it occurs in your loved one, it is very difficult. You begin to suffer from misunderstandings and conflicts. Of course, there is a cure for every ailment. What to do if your man is depressed - read the Horoscope guru.

A depressed man - types of depression and methods of treatment

There can be many reasons for depression. This could include the loss of a job or a loved one, separation from a loved one, financial difficulties, or even moving. There may also be other reasons for depression. For example, a person does not know how to realize himself or is not able to build relationships with the opposite sex. In other words, there can be many reasons. Let's figure out how to treat this disease!

Of course, when a mother is depressed, it affects the family. Children may be unkempt, and the husband also suffers from lack of attention and love. This also affects the economy. When a man, the breadwinner of the family, experiences a feeling of despondency, this is certainly noticeable in his financial condition. Indeed, in families where roles are distributed in a traditional way, he is primarily a support for those around him.

There are two types of depression: reactive and clinical. Reactive depression occurs when a person experiences some kind of strong emotional shock. For example, layoffs, or the loss of a loved one. Most often, this type of depression heals with time. A person realizes what happened, draws conclusions, grows morally, changes his attitude towards the situation and moves on.

There is a second type of depression - clinical. It can last for years. A person withdraws into himself, withdraws from others and engages in soul-searching. In such a situation, you already need the help of a psychotherapist who can understand the reason for dissatisfaction with life. But there are also cases when a person outgrows the problem and finds a way out on his own. Optimism and interest in former hobbies and interests return to him again. But the most important thing is that he feels the ground under his feet and happily moves forward.

A depressed man - how does he behave in such a state?

Typically, during a period of depression, a man may feel lethargic and lack of strength. He withdraws into himself, becomes alienated, engages in soul-searching, and experiences fears and doubts. He may become more irritable. A person can make scandals without particularly compelling reasons, find fault with little things: under-salted food, poorly ironed clothes, and so on. The reason for such anger is that your chosen one feels like he is losing his masculinity and self-confidence and this worries him very much.

A man can also allow himself offensive words that he has not previously used in relation to his wife, children and even pets. This again happens due to the fact that he wants to regain his former authority.

He can do stupid things and behave. Driving drunk, spending money recklessly, gambling, etc. The reason for this behavior is the desire to get an emotional shock. Usually men keep all their emotions to themselves, and this way they can throw them out, let off steam.

A man may not even react to his wife’s concern; on the contrary, excessive intrusive attention causes him even more irritation. He may scream that he is fine and demand that he be left alone as soon as possible.

A person may also lose appetite and sleep, and interest in previous hobbies and interests. He is able to lie on the bed for a long time and experience a feeling of apathy. In extreme cases, he may develop health problems. As psychologists say, “The body never lies.”

A depressed man - what not to do

Don’t try to cheer him up, call him for a walk, go to the cinema, cafe, visit, and so on. Now the person is closed, and strangers, on the contrary, will disturb him. Give the man time to think things through for himself.

There is no need to manipulate and scold. You should not appeal to his masculinity and say words in the style of “You are a man, be strong and so on.” We are all human and may experience weakness.

Under no circumstances should you threaten your man. Don't scare him by leaving, moving, and so on.

Blaming a person for such a condition is also not good. This will only lower your self-esteem. Do not criticize him for the low financial situation of the family, strange behavior and detachment from the world. Your complaints will not change anything. He will not have the desire to act.

A depressed man - what to do right

First, you need to treat your man with understanding. No one is immune from failure. Men are not made of iron either, and the fact that they show their emotions means that they also have them. Everyone has moments of weakness.

As soon as he makes it clear that he needs your support, show it. Surround him with love and care. Show that no matter what, he remains strong and unique for you, and together you will go through fire, water and copper pipes. And accept him as he is now. Time will pass and your man will find a way out of the crisis situation.

Depressive disorders are most often attributed to female nature. However, recent research finds that depression in men is also quite common. It’s just that men are taught from an early age to hide feelings, keep emotions under control and not make a cult out of it.

Causes of male depression

It is quite difficult to identify specific causes of depression in men. Often, the occurrence of a depressive state is influenced by a number of circumstances, and their accumulation leads to mental disorder.

In some cases, depression in men is hereditary, but it is usually triggered by stressful situations. And the sooner you cope and get out of a stressful situation, the lower the risk of developing depression.

Depression can be triggered by:

stressful situation in the family, at work;
financial difficulties;
needing to be separated from family or friends;
difficult relationships with others;
military experience;
death of relatives;
men's health problems;
midlife crisis.

Symptoms of male depression

Depression in men manifests itself in a standard way: dejected state, sleep disturbance, despondency. Additional symptoms may include:

Some physiological symptoms, such as migraines, indigestion, and constant pain, can also be signs of depression.

Why can't you ignore depression?

Very often, men consider the treatment of this disease as something frivolous. They think that they can easily get out of depression. Representatives of the stronger sex can pretend that symptoms do not exist, neglect them, drown out problems with alcohol, or immerse themselves in work. But if depression is not treated, it will progress and make a person completely unhappy.

Without appropriate treatment, depression in men can lead to serious consequences.

Depression can have a negative impact on your health. Being in a state of prolonged stress greatly depletes a man’s body, internal organs, especially the heart.
Men with depression die from various diseases much more often.
Depression increases the divorce rate.
Depression in men reduces productivity, this can affect a man’s pay and lead to dismissal.

How can I help my husband?

Any woman is faced with the question: what to do if her husband is moping and does it need urgent treatment? First of all, it is important to realize that how quickly recovery will occur will depend only on the woman’s behavior. If you managed to persuade your husband to visit a doctor, then do it together, attend a session as a couple. The doctor will definitely give recommendations on what period and how to react.

Don’t try to overwhelm him with household chores now, so that there is no time for despondency. Because to a person in such a state, the most insignificant load can seem like a heavy burden. You should not make fun of his condition, but rather help him get out of it.
Encourage your husband in different ways, instill in him faith that everything will work out, problems will be resolved, bad luck will pass. Create a comfortable environment in your home. To help your husband get out of depression, try to do things that are pleasant for him. Give him some kind of gift. Indulge in various delicacies. Ventilate the room more often and don’t skimp on electricity, let there be plenty of light at home.
The best way to support a depressed husband is to give him the opportunity to speak out, cry, and pour out his own feelings. If he is outwardly calm on the outside, it means that he is experiencing everything hard inside himself. This internal mental aggression leads to severe physical illness. Listen patiently and sympathetically if he wishes to speak out. Please advise what you think needs to be done.

It is necessary for your husband to know that you are nearby and are constantly ready to listen and support him.

But there is no need to do everything as he said and create a pessimistic mood in the family. It is necessary not to be sad yourself and not to mope around him. Don't fall prey to his bad mood and self-pity. Because this will only aggravate the husband’s depressing condition. To get out of depression, your husband needs not your compassion, but love and help. And you will provide them only if you yourself are healthy.
It is now important for him to receive positive emotions. Praise your man, you can go for a walk or meet with friends. It is important that the husband does not withdraw into himself along with his depression.
Gently but firmly stop any statement with phrases of self-deprecation. Explain to your husband that the most famous people also had periods of failure and this is absolutely natural. The main thing is not to lower your head and believe in good things.
An orderly daily routine, treatment, adequate sleep, and a balanced diet are of great importance. Try to control this. Exercise in the gym, swimming pool, massages, going to the bathhouse, sex and getting enough sleep can help. They should have a good effect on his treatment.
If one of the reasons for this condition is overwork, it is advisable to rest and change the environment. Convince your spouse to take a vacation and travel. If you have financial restrictions, you can go to the country, have treatment in nature, or go out with friends for a picnic in the nearest forest.
If after all you do not see a positive result, and the disease has become severe and long-term, you need to seek the help of a professional psychologist. Find out which specialist is best to contact and persuade your husband to visit him. Be determined to do this persistently in advance. Especially if depression is endogenous, that is, there are no visible causes for its occurrence, psychotherapy sessions and treatment with antidepressants can help get out of this state.

nullifies all undertakings and plans for the future. Even the most courageous and persistent men give up. Here it is important to lend a helping hand in time, or at least choose the right words, and let the man understand that not everything is as bad as he thinks.

1. You are not a “wimp”

"Men don't cry." This is how we are raised. If you shed a tear or give vent to your emotions, you are a weakling! In fact, this is not true. Men, like women, have problems, and sometimes they get out of control.

Reader Questions

18 October 2013, 17:25 Good day. I have the following question: since March, I have been undergoing psychoanalysis once a week due to depression. I took Cipralex 5 mg for 4 months and my condition improved. At the moment I only go to a psychologist and for the last 2 weeks I have been feeling the same as I was at the very beginning of treatment, please tell me is this normal or am I doing something wrong, what could be the reason?

Ask a question

When a man is depressed, it is doubly difficult for him than for a woman, since he is also overcome by thoughts of his failure as a man. Therefore, never tell a man that he is weak if he is depressed.

2. You may not even realize you're depressed.

Yes, this, unfortunately, happens, especially among men. Understanding yourself and looking for reasons is not a “man’s business.” Often depression is “suppressed” by drinking alcohol. Men are three times more likely to suffer from alcohol dependence than women for this reason.

3. You are not lazy, you are debilitated by depression.

Depression greatly debilitates a person. In the morning, a man may feel tired and exhausted. The whole reason is not that the man is lazy, but simply that depression takes all his strength. Work, study and relationships fade into the background, and all thoughts are concentrated around that seeming hopelessness.

4. Depression makes you so gloomy.

Depression is an insidious disease that brings out all the worst traits, even if they have never been noticed in a person before. Irritability, aggression, indifference and sullenness. These are masks of depression that she puts on her victims. In such a situation, it is important for a man to be reminded that by nature he is not so gloomy, and depression makes him that way.

5. Depression is just messing with you!

During depression, a person may be overcome by thoughts such as: “I’m terrible. I'm useless. My life is going to hell. I look bad and I’m not worthy of love.” From the outside it may seem that this is simply absurd, but a person, as if driven into a corner, cannot get out of the abyss of such thoughts. In such cases, it is important for others to make it clear to the man that his thoughts are nothing more than a consequence of depression. Once you deal with it, everything will get better again.

6. It's okay if you cancel plans.

It is normal for a depressed person to cancel or postpone plans. Unfortunately, depression changes a person so much that it makes him feel fears, anxiety and many other disorders that prevent him from actively working. So that a man does not worry even more about postponing his affairs or unfinished work, it is important to reassure him and let him understand that in his condition this is a completely normal phenomenon.

7. Take a small step forward

The worst thing about depression is that it destroys your hope. You stop moving forward because you understand the futility of such actions. What if you don’t engage in far-reaching plans, but just take a small step. Yes, and it will be difficult for you, but it is definitely worth a try.

8. It's okay if you don't want to have sex.

Depression reduces libido and negatively affects the quality of erections. A man in a state of depression clearly has no time for sex. On the one hand, he has low self-esteem, and on the other, he lacks energy for sexual intercourse. The situation gets worse if a man is taking antidepressants, as they can lead to... During this period, it is important to support the man, letting him know that the lack of intimacy during depression is natural.

9. It's okay to be sad

Yes, it's normal to be sad. And it is completely abnormal when a person reacts positively to unpleasant things in his life. True, there is a line that should not be crossed. We all feel sad from time to time, but we don't have to do it all the time. If a state of sadness has completely taken over your life, then you need to talk about it with a specialist.

10. Don't hide from your problems.

Don't let depression become the hunter and yourself the prey. Don’t run away from your problems, because sooner or later they will catch up with you anyway. This does not mean that you should deny your illness. Here it is important to draw a clear line between your illness and your personality. Force yourself to see your friends, at least occasionally. Take this small step and you will see that with each step it gets easier.

Take care of yourself!

Arkady Galanin

“My husband is constantly depressed and in a bad mood. I'm trying to help him, but it's of no use. I'm tired, I no longer have the strength. How can I get him out of this state?”

The first thing I want to say. Living with depression is definitely difficult and difficult. Being in close contact with a depressed person is also a serious test and psychological burden.

Yes, even if it was not you personally who faced the problem of depression, but your husband, even if all the colors faded for him and it became difficult to get out of bed. But many times more difficult, especially for sympathetic and impressionable people, can be the experience of a loved one’s illness - when you see everything, sincerely worry, but nothing can be done. This causes powerlessness, and powerlessness causes anger and despair. And this is understandable and normal. All relatives of patients face this.

Let's figure out how you can help yourself and your husband (or wife, or parent, or child - the action strategy will be approximately the same).

Take care of yourself

It is important to understand here: you cannot and will never be able to be responsible for the life of another person. As long as you hope that you can change your husband, you will not be able to truly help him. Because you will be in illusion, not in reality.The reality is: you don't have the reins, he does. He makes the decision, not you. To any decisive step you take, he can say his legal “no” - and then you can only choose how to react to it.

Therefore, the most useful thing you can do if you feel tired of your husband’s problems and bad mood is to take care of yourself, regain your strength. Only when you have the strength and desire again can you begin to look for ways to help your loved one. Not the other way around. First, put the mask on yourself.

The first step is:

step aside: stop the obsessive flow of thoughts about your husband, focus on what is happening to you now;
Ask yourself: am I happy with my life? are all my needs met? Am I eating, sleeping, resting, relaxing, enjoying myself enough? What can I do (without my husband getting involved) to get myself back into an energetic state?
make a list of actions that will help you recover: these can be simple things (a bath, a walk, meeting with friends); if you are alone with children, it is important to find those who will help you unload - this could be your mother, sister, nanny, friends;
If all of the above does not help and stress increases, seek help from a psychologist.

Proceed to the next stage only when you feel sufficiently recovered. Don't neglect rest - to help a loved one fight depression, you will need strength.

Seek professional help

Depression is a serious illness. No less serious than pneumonia or a broken leg. You can't cope with it without professional help. Take this as an axiom.

Therefore, your second task, after restoring your own strength, is to send your husband to be diagnosed by a psychotherapist. You can contact the PND at your place of registration (it will be free) or a private practitioner. As a rule, it is difficult for a depressed patient to find a doctor and make an appointment. Do it for him. Go to the appointment with him to support him.

If your husband refuses to seek help, explain that depression on its own will not go away and will only get worse. Send him a selection of articles or videos about depression. See, for example, my article. And at the end there is a list of references. Don’t be fooled by anti-psychiatric propaganda – don’t waste precious time.

The doctor will examine, interview your husband and prescribe treatment. If necessary, recommends going to hospital. Take your doctor's recommendations seriously. Help your husband purchase all the necessary medications. If necessary, ensure that the appointment is timely.

Sometimes it is not possible to immediately select drug therapy. Medicines may cause side effects. This is fine. Be patient. Remember to rest and support yourself.

Psychological help for depression

Modern methods of treating depression include both drug and non-drug (psychological) approaches.

Drug therapy relieves acute symptoms - powerlessness, apathy, low mood, suicidal thoughts. But this is only the first stage in the fight against depression. To get rid of depression completely, you need to get rid of its psychological causes.

Psychological psychotherapy helps to find the causes of depression, change the vicious train of thoughts, learn to live happily again, and set short-term and long-term goals. The combination of both methods - medication and psychological - helps a person with depression to fully recover and return to normal life.

If the husband refuses treatment

Over the years of communicating with your husband, you, of course, have learned to influence him, and you know all these methods much better than me. Connect this arsenal, connect the intellect (articles, videos, lectures), involve children and relatives, involve a family psychologist.

But remember that you should make all these efforts only secondarily. You take care of yourself first. If you maintain this balance, your communication with your depressed husband will no longer be as painful as it is now. Separate yourself from him, give him and yourself the opportunity to live your own life and make your own choices. And you will feel better - and when you feel better, you will figure out how to influence him, if you consider it necessary.

If you are tired, desperate and it seems to you that you yourself are falling into depression - write, come to an appointment or on Skype, we will figure it out together. You can sign up for a consultation.

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