What should a woman do during male depression - in a father, husband, child. Depression in a man

It is always difficult for men to share their experiences with other people; they keep their fears to themselves, do not admit their true feelings and try to be strong. Male depression does not mean a weak character. Sometimes this is a consequence of hypertrophied responsibility and impaired self-esteem. In this case, psychotherapy sessions can help you rethink your actions and significantly improve your quality of life.

Often a man is provoked by nervousness and aggressive behavior, abuse of alcoholic beverages, extreme sports or narcotic substances. These are unique defense mechanisms that distract from pressing problems, drown out fear and mental discomfort, but do not help cope with the disorder.

Any psychological discomfort, like a depressive state itself, is a sign of an acute lack of something. A person feels pain because he lacks something. The situation is similar with physical deficiencies, for example, hunger. In this case, there is not enough food and to fill the need, you just need to eat.

When a man feels depressed, in order to help him get out of this state, we must first understand what is missing. Offering a variety of entertainment (to chat with friends, go to the cinema, take up a hobby) is as stupid as serving food to a person dying of thirst. Naturally, even if the partner agrees to these activities, they will not satisfy his immediate need.

To help your man get out of a state of depression, you need to fill the gap, that is, understand what he needs and give the man exactly that.

Emotional contact with a partner who looks at things sensibly, without lamentations and unnecessary questions, is pleasant even for a person who is depressed. Why? Because he is understood, approved and cared for without causing pain.

Causes of depression

Under the same circumstances, people show different signs of emotional distress. What leads to a severe depressive reaction in one person may not have any effect on another. Symptoms of emotional distress in men arise as a result of severe stressful situations:

Dismissal from work;
Delayed depression in a man after a breakup;
Relationship problems;
Difficulties at work;
Heavy;
Loss of a loved one;
Unfulfilled dreams and goals;
Failures in sex and low self-esteem because of this;
Financial difficulties;
Retirement.

There are also many cases when men experience seasonal (autumn, spring, winter) depression, which in itself is not a serious reason for worry. Emotional balance before a stressful event is of great importance, which sometimes is the last straw of patience.

How long can depression last? Sometimes it can be difficult to track the appearance of this condition; it develops gradually, and initially manifests itself in a persistent decrease in mood and loss of interest in favorite activities. Without treatment, the syndrome can progress if the person is unable to overcome depression on their own.

7 tips to help a man overcome difficult stages of life

How to help a man with depression:

Providing support to a person who is in a severe depressive state is not easy, and even being close to you requires you to endure constant mood swings and tension in relationships. Men often experience aggression caused by powerlessness in the face of insoluble problems.

Setting boundaries

Sometimes the stress is so great that it can affect a woman's mental health. There is no need to put yourself on the altar of relationships, it will not lead to anything good. It is important to limit your presence without completely dissolving into his severe depressive state. We need to set aside time for meeting friends, favorite hobbies, and physical activity.

What should a woman do to support her husband? A wife cannot always act as a home doctor for her husband without compromising her moral state. If a woman feels that it is difficult for her to cope with this task, then other help can be provided: reminding him to take medications, keeping a notebook of observations, convincing him to sign up for a psychotherapy session. But you don’t have to shoulder everything; in the end, a man also has to do something on his own.

If a man does not want to do anything, this will cause grief and resentment, which will begin to destroy the relationship. When a woman is unhappy, she should not be afraid to tell her loved one about it and call him. Of course, it’s better to keep little things to yourself, but serious situations require discussion. In severe cases, when this condition lasts for months, especially if the patient has suicidal thoughts or drinks alcohol immoderately, you should consult a doctor and begin treatment as early as possible.

Psychologist.

Dealing with depression or anxiety is a lot of work and asking for help in such a situation is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.

Why is depression in men usually not recognized?

There are several reasons why symptoms of depression in men are not commonly recognized. For example, men tend to deny that they have problems because they have to “be strong.” And culture assumes that expressing emotions is largely a feminine trait. As a result, depressed men are more likely to talk about physical symptoms of their depression, such as feeling tired, rather than emotional symptoms.

Men tend to put off dealing with health issues, especially when it comes to mental health. They are reluctant to discuss their mental health at all and may therefore be delayed in getting help. If your husband is depressed and you understand it, do your best to help him.

Men are brought up in our country as people who are alien to sentiment, who have no right to tears, who always owe something to someone, are obliged, are responsible. Such pressure cannot but affect the psyche and depression overtakes men, maybe a little less often, but just as strongly. Our society expects men to handle the problem themselves, or to “toughen up” and overcome it.

Men may also not admit that he feels a little different, for example, he is vulnerable. He may think that being depressed or anxious is a weakness. These are actually common health problems and help exists and is available. Such “rigidity” can be too difficult for one’s own psyche, as well as for family and friends.

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly what causes depression or anxiety. These may be different reasons for different people. You may be going through difficult times, or perhaps you have had a lot of problems arise over time. Sometimes there is no obvious reason.

Some of the common risk factors for men may include:

Physical injuries;
Relationships, difficulties and conflict in relationships;
Major changes in life, for example, becoming a dad;
Problems at work;
Unemployment, especially if it lasts for a long time;
Overweight;
Retirement;
Financial difficulties;
No close friends, no one to talk to;
Divorce;
Drugs and alcohol.

Depression does affect both genders. It destroys relationships and interferes with work and daily activities. Symptoms of depression in men are similar to symptoms of depression in women. But men tend to express these symptoms differently.

Common symptoms of depression include loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities, fatigue, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and apathy. In women, depression may be more likely to cause feelings of sadness and worthlessness. On the other hand, depression in men can lead to them simply becoming disconnected from life or feeling irritable, aggressive, and hostile.

Does depression in men affect sexual desire and procreation?

Yes. Depression in men can affect sexual desire and procreation. Unfortunately, some antidepressants and other medications can do the same thing. Men are often reluctant to admit problems with their sexuality. Many people mistakenly believe that problems are related to their masculinity, when in fact they are caused by a medical problem such as clinical depression.

What are the signs of depression in men?

Men are less likely to show more "typical" signs of depression, such as sadness. Depression in men can cause them to hide their feelings. Instead of expressing depressed mood, they may appear more irritable and aggressive. For these reasons, many men, as well as doctors and other health professionals, may not recognize the problem as depression. Typically, women who experience depression say they feel hopeless and helpless. Men are more likely to mention physical symptoms rather than emotional or psychological ones (such as fatigue or an upset stomach). Men are less likely to think of it as depression, anxiety or a mental disorder.

Here are the most common symptoms that help recognize depression and anxiety.

Symptoms of depression in men

You spend a lot of time alone;
Do not enjoy what you usually did with pleasure;
Feeling restless, moody, or irritable;
You are aggressive, although you have not noticed this before;
Feeling like you have lost;
unexplained headaches, back pain, or other physical pain;
Stomach problems, nausea, stool changes;
Feeling of fear;
Changes in your sex drive;
Significant weight loss without dieting or weight gain and changes in appetite;
Insomnia or hypersomnia almost every day;
Psychomotor restlessness or slowness almost every day;
Fatigue or loss of energy almost every day;
Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt;
Diminished ability to think or concentrate, and/or indecisiveness;
Recurrent thoughts of death, repeated suicidal ideation without a plan, or a suicide attempt or suicide plan.

What are the consequences of untreated depression in men?

Depression in men can have devastating consequences. Men are three to four times more likely than women to commit suicide. 80% of all people who commit suicide are men. Although more women attempt suicide, many more men complete the act, effectively ending their lives. This may be because men tend to use more lethal and violent methods to commit suicide, such as using a gun rather than overdosing on pills.

Why is depression in men so difficult to detect?

Understanding how boys are raised in our society and how they are expected to behave is especially important for identifying and treating their depression as adults. Depression in men can often be linked to cultural expectations. People must be successful. They must curb their emotions. They must control everything and everyone. These cultural expectations may mask some of the true symptoms of depression. Instead, men may express aggression and anger - perceived as more acceptable "tough guy" behavior.

Is there a stigma around depression in men?

Yes. And men tend to have a hard time coping with the stigma (social labels) of depression. They are more likely to cope with their symptoms by drinking alcohol, abusing drugs, or engaging in other risky behaviors. Many men avoid talking about depressed feelings to friends or family.

How common is depression in older men?

Although depression is not a normal part of aging, in older men there may be medical causes such as heart disease, stroke, cancer or other stressors that can contribute to depression. Or there may be increased losses (such as friends, physical health, spouses, income, meaningful work). Retirement is difficult for many men because it takes them out of their normal schedule. These changes and loss of self-esteem may also contribute to depression. Additionally, the death of family and friends, the onset of other health problems, and even certain medications can contribute to depression in mature men.

How is depression treated in men?

More than 80% of people with depression—both men and women—can be successfully treated with antidepressants, psychotherapy, or a combination of both.

How can a man get out of depression?

If you're not ready to talk about it, there are many practical things you can do without anyone knowing:

Sleep

A good night's sleep is a basic need. Perhaps you could try these strategies: go to bed early; make your room as dark as possible; turn off televisions; computers and game consoles in the bedroom; Avoid or reduce smoking, coffee, cola, energy drinks and alcohol, especially before bed; if you are worried about something, get up and write it down, try to deal with it the next day; do physical exercise every day, but not before bedtime; Do things that can help you relax, such as taking a warm shower, yoga, meditation, muscle relaxation, or breathing practices.

Alcohol and drugs

Alcohol is a depressant. Anxiety can be aggravated by frequent drinking and may contribute to depression. And yes, beer too. Alcohol can interact with some medications you take for depression or anxiety, making their effects stronger and worsening side effects, so it's a good idea to reduce your alcohol intake or, better yet, avoid it altogether.

Food and drink

Eating healthy helps your body work well and helps you feel good. That's because, just like your body, your brain's functioning is affected by what you eat. Your brain needs a constant flow of energy to function properly, concentrate and focus, and strengthen your emotions. To boost your energy and feel good, try to eat: lots of vegetables and fruits; grain products, mainly whole grains, and those that naturally contain fiber; dairy products – mainly low and reduced fat; some legumes such as chickpeas and lentils; proteins such as nuts, seeds or eggs; poultry, fish and other seafood, or red meat (with fat removed). Eating in a quiet place is extremely beneficial and can lift your mood.

Physical activity

Physical activity has been shown to be one of the most effective ways to help yourself with depression. Unfortunately, if you're depressed or anxious, being active can be difficult. Eventually the positive reactions will return. Physical activity produces “good” hormones. You get distracted, get out of the house, socialize, set new goals, create a new life, achieve something and feel fulfilled. Physical activity does not necessarily mean going to the gym. This could be going to the shops or mowing the lawn.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy or “talk therapy” is a general term that refers to treating depression by talking through triggers and responses with a mental health professional. There are different types of psychotherapy that can be effective in treating depression.

Cognitive behavioral therapy: This short-term therapy helps you replace negative and unproductive thinking patterns with more realistic and helpful ones. This treatment focuses on taking specific steps to manage and reduce symptoms.
Interpersonal "talk" therapy: This targeted therapy focuses on interpersonal problem solving and symptomatic recovery.
Problem-solving therapy: This treatment helps people learn tools to effectively manage the negative effects of stressful life events.

Psychotherapy can help people with depression:

Coping with the crisis;
Identify and replace negative beliefs;
Explore relationships and experiences and create positive connections;
Find adaptive ways to solve problems;
Identify problems that contribute to depression;
Set realistic goals;
Develop the ability to tolerate stress.

Medicines

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and serotonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor drugs are effective treatments for depression. Other possible medications include atypical antidepressants, tricyclic antidepressants, and monoamine oxidase inhibitors.

Different people have different reactions to medications. It is important to work closely with your mental health professional and report any side effects. This is especially important for men because side effects may include sexual dysfunction and then the doctor will prescribe other medications. Never stop taking antidepressants without consulting the doctor who prescribed them. Stopping treatment suddenly may cause withdrawal symptoms and cause a sudden worsening of depressive symptoms. Severe cases of depression may require hospitalization. Inpatient mental health care helps patients stay safe until their condition improves, especially if they are experiencing suicidal ideation or suicide attempts.

We are surrounded by liars. Our culture celebrates masculinity. It's as if the world isn't interested in knowing how you feel. It downplays women and minorities, but it also hurts men. Undoubtedly.

Men suffer because from childhood they are taught not to give vent to their feelings, they are assured that feelings have no value and should be forgotten as soon as possible. Depression also lies. She whispers that no one cares about you. It is incredibly difficult to overcome these stereotypical beliefs and speak out frankly. But asking for help is not weakness.

I'm tall, big, strong. I have always prided myself on being fit and healthy. But with depression, my self-esteem blew away like the wind - I felt empty both physically and spiritually. But at the same time, it helped to free myself from stereotypes. With all my external attitude, I often felt fragile, broken and could not understand why. It was difficult to talk about this at first, but it feels good to open up to another person, to feel calmer, to feel understood. By talking about my feelings, I began to better understand what was happening to me and why. Daniel Dalton

2. You may not even realize you're depressed.

Men don't talk about depression; they usually suppress their feelings. It’s easier for women in this regard: according to statistics, they are twice as likely to seek help from professionals and receive treatment. This is probably why men are three times more likely than women to have problems with drinking. They strive to numb the pain rather than deal with its cause. In addition, men in Russia are six times more likely than women to commit suicide. You could say that silence literally kills men. But there is another way out.

I was not diagnosed with depression until I was 30, but I have suffered from depression on and off since my youth. Having gone without treatment for so long, I developed an arsenal of bad habits and avoidance strategies. They helped me stop thinking about feelings I didn't want to know about. After some time, I learned to overcome this, replace bad habits with useful ones, and began to feel much better than, say, two and a half years ago. Just realizing that I was sick and undergoing a series of procedures helped me recover a lot. Daniel Dalton

3. It's okay to be a night owl

No, you are not a lazy person. Depression is debilitating. You feel bad, tired, sleepy, exhausted. And for most people with depression, these symptoms are worse in the morning. Most people are by nature early risers. But this does not mean that you should also be cheerful in the morning.

I don't feel well in the morning. More often than not, just waking up is a challenge. Getting up and getting dressed is the second test. After all the exhausting morning commute, I feel anxious, frustrated and exhausted. I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to smile, wave, or vigorously say "good morning." I need to calm down, live at my own pace and recharge. It's nothing personal, I really just don't have the strength to pretend. And that's okay. I can't do this in the morning. I'll smile and wave in the evenings. Daniel Dalton

4. You're not naturally moody.

When you are unable to control your mood, you lose faith in your strength. When you don't know how you'll feel in the next minute. When you can't control it. I didn't want to snap or complain or use that tone, but it happened. When I was younger, I thought that my moodiness, irritability, was a natural part of who I was. The realization that it was part of the depression and not part of me was overwhelming. This opened up a whole world of new possibilities. It turns out that I can enjoy life too! Who would have thought! Daniel Dalton

5. Depression mocks

Another lie depression tells you: “You are worthless, you are worthless.” It destroys self-esteem and distorts your self-image. It fills your mind with pessimistic thoughts that only worsen your mood: “I'm a terrible person. I look terrible. I'm not worthy of love." It's hard to silence this voice, but you can calm it. You can treat yourself kinder. You wouldn't tolerate a stranger saying that about your friend, so don't let depression treat you that way.

Before I knew I was depressed, I would experience a rapid increase in negative thoughts and feelings and would seek out dopamine to fill the void. When I was 20, my pill substitutes were working out and casual sex. Later, when the depression got worse, I replaced them with food. I binged on carbohydrates, sugars, caffeine - anything that could give me a feeling of satisfaction. I didn’t have the strength to exercise, I gained weight. Not much, but enough for me to notice. It's enough for the voice in my head to start saying that I look disgusting. I started avoiding photographs and mirrors - I still don't have a mirror in my bathroom. I started working on myself, tried to accept myself and have come a long way. Going traveling is a great start for this. Daniel Dalton

6. It's okay to cancel plans.

Depression rarely comes alone. It appears with other disorders: anxiety, insomnia, social phobia. If you suffer from it alone, the pressure increases from friendships, relationships, social obligations: it seems to you that if you don’t pay enough attention to people, they will turn away from you, and this takes away the last of your strength. But depression is a disease. Skipping dinner because you have the flu is okay, as is canceling plans if you're not feeling well mentally. Your health should be your priority. Friends will understand, and if they don't, they're probably not very good friends, for that matter.

Knowing in advance about an event at which I must attend and have fun is a heavy burden that I often try to get rid of. It's especially difficult with new friends or friends I haven't seen for a long time. Sometimes at the end of the day I just need to go to a quiet place and recharge. And we are not talking about complete isolation. I'm rebooting so I can get back into the fight tomorrow. Daniel Dalton

7. ...but don't cancel all your plans

There are many activities that are not suitable for a depressed or anxious person. For example, surprise parties are a complete bummer. Most group events are also extremely harmful. Birthdays, New Year, Christmas - in general, the time when the anticipation of fun reaches its peak can become a nightmare.

Ask friends to let you know about plans in advance—you want the option to opt out. Don't agree to go where something doesn't suit you. Fun is relative. Having fun doesn't mean going to the best night out of your life. You can have fun lying on the sofa under a blanket and watching a movie.

Last New Year I stayed home, watched The Goonies and drank whiskey. I can't imagine a better start to the year. One of my most harmful mantras is “I hate fun.” Of course, I'm not serious. What I'm really saying is that what's fun for one person won't necessarily be the same for another. I know what I enjoy, and when in doubt, I repeat to myself: “I love to dance. I love singing karaoke. I love watching movies. I love live music. I love having dinner and drinks one-on-one with someone.” Often I am prejudiced about certain things and think that I won’t like it, but I persuade myself to go. Sometimes I just need a little push. Daniel Dalton

8. It's all about small steps

Depression destroys hope. Not only does it prevent you from taking steps toward recovery and preventing you from seeing opportunities, but it also robs you of the ability to put one foot in front of the other. It's hard to realize that things can get better, much less understand how to get there.

My ex-girlfriend kept asking me how I saw our future. “Happy, I would hope,” I answered. Vague wording just to reassure her. I didn't really have any ideas. I didn't know what I wanted or how to achieve it. When you have to fight every day, it's impossible to plan anything five years in advance. I was constantly in a bad mood, and the idea that I could be truly happy at some point did not seem realistic to me.

I still can't plan that far ahead, but now I can focus on the present. Life is not a series of 5 year plans, it is a series of small moments. I've found that if I can enjoy the little things, if I can enjoy each day, it becomes easier to look into the future. The steps to recovery are not always easy, but now I see that there is nothing difficult about going through them one by one. Daniel Dalton

9. It's okay not to want sex.

Depression affects libido. Low self-esteem and lack of energy can affect your sexual appetite and even lead to erection problems. Some antidepressants can affect not only erections, but also the ability to have an orgasm. Together they can turn your sex life into a real challenge.

Often male company can be depraved, but don’t let it put pressure on you. Your friends don't sleep with women as often as they say. If you have a friend and you are afraid that you will not be able to cope with your “responsibilities”, let her know about it. Communication helps, and perhaps together you will sooner find a solution to the problem. For example, you can always pay more attention to her. Or the two of you can build a blanket fort and hide there from the rest of the world. Daniel Dalton

10. Don't run away from problems

It is difficult to live actively with depression. Lack of energy, irritability, negativity, and constant cancellation of plans can put a lot of strain on relationships. But it is important to draw a line between illness and personality: you are not your depression, you are not a heavy burden. Sometimes everyone needs time alone, but understand that sometimes interacting with other people is a small step towards recovery. If you don't feel up to it, just meet with close friends: social groups reduce the occurrence of depressive symptoms and prevent their recurrence.

My instincts often made me run away from problems. I wanted to go home quickly, I avoided people. After my last relationship failed, I went to the mountains, but began to feel completely miserable. Without company to care for me or influence me, my negative feelings and thoughts increased. I wanted to be alone, but quickly realized that I didn’t want to be alone forever. People can be very supportive if you give them a chance. Daniel Dalton

11. It's okay to be sad

Misconceptions and misinformation about depression are not only widespread and varied, but they are also very dangerous. People who have never experienced these symptoms may offer platitudes like “cheer up” or “try harder” without realizing the negative consequences their words can have. Being sad is not only normal, it's healthy, it's human. But you don't have to be sad all the time. There are many ways to deal with this.

When I was first diagnosed with depression, I started taking antidepressants. They helped me get through nine very difficult months. I went through a difficult breakup and learned to manage depression. While I was taking the medications, it was difficult to feel anything. In general, I didn’t like this condition, I didn’t like how the pills affected my sex life. And I stopped taking them after nine months. I wanted to feel something, even if it wasn't a pleasant feeling. For many people, antidepressants are a lifesaver. For me they were an additional tool. I am lucky. With therapy, exercise, and a healthy diet, I was able to live without them. Daniel Dalton

Seek support from people who understand what you are going through. Therapy helps. It's a slow process, there are setbacks, breakdowns and hard days. But then it gets better. You don't have to suffer alone. Don't be discouraged, stay close to those who have already been there.

We are surrounded by liars. Our culture celebrates masculinity. It's as if the world isn't interested in knowing how you feel. It downplays women and minorities, but it also hurts men. Undoubtedly.

2. You may not even realize you're depressed.

3. It's okay to be a night owl

4. You're not naturally moody.

5. Depression mocks

6. It's okay to cancel plans.

7. ...but don't cancel all your plans

8. It's all about small steps

9. It's okay not to want sex.

10. Don't run away from problems

11. It's okay to be sad

Is your husband depressed? Is your friend depressed? Are your parents moping? Do not despair.

Let's talk about what we can do to help or at least not make it worse.

1. Anyone can suffer from depression. This could be your neighbor, your best friend, your child's teacher, your spouse or partner. This person could be you. Even the most psychologically strong person can fall into depression. It's reasonable to accept this.

2. A person who is depressed may not appear to be depressed. No matter how positive, optimistic and friendly someone appears, they may suffer from depression. Your outgoing, energetic friend who's always up for an all-nighter may be suffering from depression, but your melancholic, introverted co-worker may not.

3. Tips and phrases similar to: “This is all such nonsense, look at the sun outside the window!”, “You need to be strong, life doesn’t like whiners and weaklings,” “Gather your will, think about your loved ones!” you speak with the best intentions to help - are extremely poorly perceived by a person in

depression. The feelings they talk about (or more often remain silent) are absolutely real, real and very painful. Devaluation and denial of feelings on your part is a gross and possibly irreparable mistake.

4. If you want to help a depressed person, don't tell him what to do, but ask how he feels. Never tell people that they shouldn't experience certain emotions. Don't reason with them about why they should feel the way they do. Acknowledge the person's feelings and express love for them. Just.

5. Express loving actions by helping with things that people suffering from depression find overwhelming.

6. People suffering from depression do not have the physical and emotional resources to lead a normal life as before the disease. They find it difficult to find the strength to cope with everyday life, feeling empty and exhausted.

It is so difficult for a person to force himself to get out of bed and brush his teeth that he feels completely oppressed by the need to do it.

Communication with loved ones becomes an impossible task - without emotional resources it is impossible to take care of someone, show sensitivity and empathy, or simply talk. Not everyone is able to endure months or years with a person who cannot invest anything in the relationship, who needs patience and care.

Sometimes people with depression are unable to even leave their home. They do not feel empowered to ask for help, even if they want to do so and need support.

7. Don't take it personally if a loved one disrupts your plans or doesn't communicate with you as often as you would like. Remember that if you are very worried that a loved one is depressed and does not accept help, it is better to discuss this with your psychologist.

8. If your partner opens up to you and shares his feelings, realize how difficult it was for him to do so and open up. No one wants to be a burden or be known as a “whiner.” No one wants to feel like they are intruding, interfering with another person's happiness. Nobody wants to upset others.

Seeking support is the bravest and most difficult thing a depressed person can do.

Respect that.

Don’t respond dismissively: “Well, let me know when you feel better so we can meet,” “You just need to get it out of your head and that’s it!” or “It’s time for you to learn to stand on your own two feet.”

Empathy, empathy and empathy again!

9. People experience guilt, shame and embarrassment very painfully. It is difficult for a person suffering from depression to allow others to see this part of their soul.

If they share their innermost feelings with you, let them know that there is nothing shameful or indecent about depression.

They entrusted you with a very fragile and vulnerable part of themselves. Don't ruin that intimacy by invalidating their pain or laughing at it. Mental illness is not funny.

10. People suffering from depression feel worthless.

They may know it's not true, but they still feel that way. Do not appeal to the logic or reason of a person, but start with the most basic things - love, which is expressed in actions.

A person suffering from depression is unlikely to be able to tell you what they need. Pain and a feeling of isolation from the world and worthlessness accompany him constantly, and the person feels that he is drowning in them.

You wouldn't ask a person who is drowning how you can help? Is your husband depressed? Don't bother him with questions about what you can do for him.

Jump into the water. Save! Do something.

But remember that you will not receive returns for some time until the person begins to recover. This is a difficult path, because in reality, depression is a serious disease, life-threatening. Only the soul suffers, not the body. And right now you need to show your patience and love. Imagine that normal human life for your person now is running, and both his legs are broken. And he will definitely run, but it takes time.