How to become cheerful and sociable. How to be more sociable? Ten tips

Sooner or later, all teenagers without exception ask the question of how to become cheerful and sociable. The fact is that young people at this age strive with all their might to find themselves, become better and win the affection of the opposite sex.

Sociability and the ability to enjoy life are very important qualities for any girl. Not everyone has them from birth. But you can learn the art of communication.

How to become more sociable and cheerful quickly?

Most of all, normal, easy communication is hampered by uncertainty. A teenage girl doubts her abilities and becomes tense. As a result, communication does not bring pleasure, the mood drops, and the feeling of self-doubt only grows. But if you want, you can break this vicious circle and become a cheerful and sociable girl. To do this, you should follow the following recommendations:

First, become an interesting and positive person. Read more, find your favorite hobby. Don't be afraid to share your emotions and impressions. A passionate person attracts people. After all, you yourself have noticed how many friends girls have who are involved in dancing, handicrafts or vocals. Hobby will expand your circle of acquaintances, and you will feel free even among unfamiliar people.

Secondly, communicate at every opportunity. With a new student in class or a saleswoman in a store, on the subway and on buses. Communication is a skill that needs to be constantly improved. A few months of such training - and you will be able to communicate freely on any topic.

Thirdly, smile. This will put your interlocutor in a positive mood and demonstrate your good mood and readiness to talk. It is not without reason that they say that a smile is the key to the human heart.

How to be cheerful and sociable in a company?

Having fun in a group is a big challenge for many teenagers. Good mood often changes at this age. Depression and despondency are what need to be dealt with immediately. The main weapon against them is constant employment.

It's important to find something that really excites you. Youth opens up vast horizons. Study, work, hobbies, friends, hobbies...

Some tips on how to become cheerful and sociable in the company of others:

Try to find common topics of conversation with anyone. Start the conversation with a general phrase, establish contact.
Call the person by name. You will immediately see that it will become easier to communicate with him. The sound of one's own name is pleasant for a person.
Respect the people you interact with. We have no control over facial expressions, so irritation or displeasure is difficult to hide.
Don't look down on anyone. Arrogant girls are not popular in society.
Try to look at life positively. Now this quality is valued. There is nothing more attractive than a girl with a positive attitude. After all, positive people are little suns. There are always a lot of people around them.

The ability to communicate is very important for a person. Socialization plays a major role in adolescence and young adulthood, when relationships with society are just beginning to be built.

And remember that you need to communicate with pleasure, being sincerely interested in your interlocutor. Only in this case will they want to talk to you again. Be patient with other people's shortcomings and smile more often - this is the key to success. Then you will definitely become a cheerful, sociable person without unnecessary difficulties.

And a super educational video:

How to become sociable

Many, if not most, people have communication problems. Some find it difficult to make first contact, some are unable to maintain relationships for a long time, others get lost in the conversation and don’t know what to say. Below are general tips on how to become more social. There are quite a lot of these tips. Don't rush out and do them all right away. Most likely, nothing will come of this. To begin with, choose what is most convenient for you and what is easy to implement.

See the general

In Russian, the word “communication” comes from “general”. Interestingly, the English “communication” goes back to the Latin “communis” - also “common”. The point here is that talking people are united by something in common, some common problem, interest, idea. This is the common ground around which communication is built.

In fact, seeing the general is a great art. The interests behind the communication process can be obvious or hidden. Examples of obvious interest: housewives exchanging new recipes, students discussing class schedules, shareholders communicating with each other about a new company strategy. Examples of hidden interests: the desire to dispel boredom, a simple accumulated need to chat, a nascent sexual desire.

Even the most different people can have some common ground. For example, it may turn out that both are fond of breeding fish or support the same football club. The question is - how to find these points of contact? Here it is simply important to let the interlocutor speak out, and not limit the topic of conversation. You can ask, if the situation allows, leading questions. For example, ask how this person spent his weekend. It is obvious that most people try to spend their days off doing things they love.

Be helpful

The person is not obligated to communicate with you at all. If you are communicating as part of a formal interaction, it is forced communication. Most of the words that people say are spoken voluntarily. In order for a person to communicate with you, you need to learn not only to find commonality with him, but also to be useful in this commonality.

Let's assume that both of you are fishermen. Only your interlocutor is an avid fisherman, and you take up a fishing rod once a year. He can tell you a lot of interesting things. And this will be useful to you. But will you be useful to him? That's the question. Most likely not. Yes, you can catch the moment when a person is in a state of increased need to chat. You will listen to him, and this will bring him some benefit. That's good too. However, it is better to at least somehow prepare for the conversation. For example, you can read about new types of equipment, original fishing methods, etc.

Be a smart and interesting conversationalist

Firstly, as already mentioned, in communication we must strive to benefit the interlocutor. If you know a lot and have some interesting skills (for example, playing the saxophone), then this greatly increases your chances of mutually pleasant communication.

Secondly, in our time, intellectual qualities are highly valued. Having an athletic physique increases sexual attractiveness, that's undeniable. But there are few people who want to communicate with a stupid “jock”. A frail intellectual has significantly more communicative potential.

Show wit

As already mentioned, in communication it is very important to see the common ground and be useful. Very often you can observe that some “cheerful companies” gather, in which the common thing is the desire to have fun together and practice their wit. Such companies are united by laughter; laughter is their main currency.

By making other people happy, you not only do something pleasant (useful) for them. By being witty, you demonstrate your communicative value. This is a rather subtle point. Nobody likes a bore. Nobody likes cliched phrases, notations and homemade preparations. On the contrary, everyone loves spontaneous wit that comes from the situation.

Don't be annoying

The vast majority of people love to communicate. If they have free time and are in a more or less good mood, they can talk to anyone. Even the most boring person can arouse interest, because he hasn’t slept in suspended animation for twenty, thirty, forty years, but he had something extraordinary in his life. However, it is very easy to scare someone off with your unpleasant manners.

Take the initiative

Many people are also irritated by the lack of initiative and passivity of their interlocutor. Such an interlocutor seems to be saying with his behavior: “You don’t want to talk about dogs, but you want to talk about work? Okay. You don’t want to talk about work, you want to talk about politics? Okay. About dogs again? Well, of course!..” Behind such behavior is usually a desire win the favor of another person at any cost, and this is very clearly visible, everyone understands. Therefore, you need to take the initiative, encourage your interlocutor to speak at least sometimes on topics that are more interesting to you than to him.

Be reasonably confident

As already mentioned, communication is usually a voluntary process, not a forced one. And in this voluntary process, the interlocutors should feel like equal partners. Even in the communication of a parent with a child or a teacher with a student, there can be partnerships. Of course, one parent never tires of showing off their higher status. But the other parent sees their child as a partner - after all, the child is just as important, he was just born twenty to thirty years later than his parent.

Insecure behavior is actually low status behavior. For one reason or another, an instinctive pattern of such behavior was launched. We must, of course, get rid of this feeling. You need to understand and realize your importance to society. People are less willing to communicate with an insecure (low-status) person. It is with great pleasure that they communicate with a self-confident (high-status) person, but such communication is strained and asymmetrical. It is better to maintain the golden mean, to be moderately confident.

Don't force things

Getting to know another person is very easy. Just seeing each other is enough - you already know each other! Yes, you don’t know each other’s names, occupations, etc. However, you know each other by sight, and this is already an acquaintance. Interestingly, according to scientific research, the very first information we receive about another person is his gender. So besides appearance, we already know gender. We also know height, approximate age, physique, clothing style. The situation in which we met also says a lot about a person. It's one thing if we met in a nightclub, another thing if we met at a car dealership.

You already know each other. And this is important. Next, you need to gradually develop the relationship, depending on the situation. You can provide minor help with something, or you can ask for help yourself. It’s not at all necessary to jump in with your name right away; that would be too deliberate an introduction. It is better to wait until the person himself wants to exchange names and even phone numbers.

Be able to listen

We should not forget that people usually like to talk about themselves and their problems. They love to brag about their achievements, children, acquaintances, and so on. Not everyone has their own listener. Show that you can listen and that you are interested in stories.

Being able to listen does not mean being silent all the time. Nod to show that you are listening. Ask clarifying questions.

Be able to forgive and turn it into a joke

Nobody is perfect. Your interlocutor may accidentally or jokingly offend you. Develop the ability not to be offended over trifles. You must be able to forgive your interlocutor. But this does not mean that there is no need to react to grievances at all. On the contrary, it is better to show your offense, but also to show that you have forgiven your interlocutor. Next time he will be more careful.

Don't be a misanthrope

A misanthrope is a person who does not like other people and sees only shortcomings in them. This is a character trait, and a harmful character trait. It prevents you from better understanding the essence and psychological structure of another person. If you are prone to misanthropy, fight it. To do this, try to look for virtues in other people and understand their behavior more deeply.

Misanthropy causes shyness in many people. The fact is that they are accustomed to denigrating other people, revealing their “vile nature.” And even though he himself seems like a good and sweet person to the misanthrope, he expects that other people will hate him too, just as he hates them. Hence the shyness.

Big parties

Man is a social being. When everyone around is anxious, he is also anxious. When others are having fun, he is having fun too. Hence the phenomenon of large parties - even if your soul is very painful, a large cheerful company will fix it. Therefore, you should not avoid group fun; this is a very good way to get closer to people who are not available “in the usual way.”

Crystallize the image

Every person has something interesting. Try to notice what causes genuine interest on the part of other people in your personality. Your parents? What is your education? What is your criminal record? Your acquaintances? From such interesting moments you form your image. Try to introduce yourself to new acquaintances from this side.

Hide your need for communication

If you are lonely, if it is very important for you to “communicate with at least someone,” then you need to hide it. People can be scared off or even angry if you force your communication on them. In addition, you risk finding yourself in a stupid position. If you are hungry and walk around looking hungry, sooner or later you will be fed. But you will have to walk around for a very long time with an expression of loneliness on your face in search of meaningful communication. Continuation of the question of how to become sociable. Technology will help you understand people better and become more sociable. The association “people – doors” is used. The main thing you need to know and understand about communication.

Give thanks in front of everyone. Too often we carry out our daily activities with the participation of other people, forgetting to express our gratitude to them. Next time you order coffee or pay for groceries at the supermarket checkout, smile at the person helping you. Look him in the eye and say thank you. This simple gesture will make you feel more comfortable with different people, and it will simply lift someone's spirits.

A small compliment can also go a long way, especially in a service situation. Don't forget that a cash register clerk or a coffee shop bartender serves several hundred people a day, most of whom either ignore them or are rude. Don't be "like that." Don't be impatient or comment on people's appearance. You can simply say: “Oh, thank you so much for being so quick!” - thus, you will demonstrate that you appreciate their work.

If you are in a place where people are actively socializing, such as at a party, try to maintain eye contact with other people as much as possible. When you catch someone's eye, smile in a friendly manner. If the person will answer you in kind, come up and talk. (Especially if they smiled back at you!)

If the person didn’t react, it’s okay. The main thing is to be “outgoing” and not “intrusive”. You should not insist on communicating with a person who is not interested in this.
This approach is not particularly effective in situations where people do not expect anyone to approach them, such as on public transport. Part of being sociable involves understanding where and when it is appropriate to approach people and where and when it is better not to do so.

Introduce yourself. You don't have to be cute to be a friendly and outgoing person. You can start a conversation by saying that this is your first time here and giving the other person a small compliment.

Pay attention to the same shy loners. Most likely, you will be uncomfortable suddenly changing the role of a “quiet person” to a “socialite”. If you are at an event, pay attention to those who are also shy or obviously uncomfortable. Most likely, they are just as uncomfortable as you are. They might be happy for you to make the first move and initiate the conversation.
Be friendly, but avoid being pushy. After introducing yourself and asking a couple of questions, step aside if you feel that the person is not interested in communicating.

Ask open-ended questions. One of the great ways to become a sociable person is to learn to ask open-ended questions. Such questions give the interlocutor the opportunity to go beyond a short “yes” or “no.” It is much easier to start a conversation by inviting the other person to tell you a little about yourself. If you've already made eye contact and exchanged smiles, start with a question. Here are some example questions like this:

How do you find this book/magazine?
What is your favorite thing to do here?
Where did you find this awesome shirt?

Look for what you have in common. First conversations, as a rule, are always based on a search for what both sides agree on. In order to identify a topic for conversation, you need to try to find what you have in common. If you work together or have mutual friends or something, what unites you, consider that half the battle is done. Talking about your boss or your friend Yulia, or those same culinary arts classes will open the way for you to further topics of conversation.

If the person is a stranger, start with a general scenario. For example, if you are in a bookstore, you can ask a person to recommend a good book from their favorite book. If you both are stuck somewhere for a long time, you can joke about it.
Give a compliment, but be careful that it doesn't sound like an assessment. For example, you can compliment a haircut and ask which hairdresser did it. Or say that you have been looking for the exact same sneakers that this person is wearing for a long time, and ask where he bought them. Avoid topics that may be offensive: don't make comments about size, skin color, or physical attractiveness in general.

Pay attention to what inspires your interlocutor. If person A is obsessed with thermodynamics and person B is obsessed with Italian coffee (and who knows why?), the conversation won't go far. One of the two will have to pick up the theme of the second. Let that person be you

While you're making awkward small talk in search of commonality, try to catch the moment when your interlocutor perks up. You'll hear it And you'll see. Both facial expressions and voice will become more expressive, and perhaps you will even notice certain body movements. All people show animation in approximately the same way: imagine what you look like when you sit on your skate - others look the same when the conversation turns to a topic that is fascinating to them.

Engage in casual conversations with your colleagues. If you have a job, then most likely you have an environment in which, with a certain amount of effort, you can establish communication. Find a place where people simply spend time together, be it a break room or an office of one of the employees.

Always end the conversation on a positive note. Let your interlocutor want to continue after your conversation. The surest way to do this is to let the person know that you are always open to communicating with him. End the conversation tactfully, so that the other person does not get the impression that you are trying to get rid of him.

For example, if you were discussing your pets, ask where a good dog park is. If your interlocutor is willing to share information, you can suggest taking a walk together: “Do you recommend the park behind Southern Boulevard? I've never been there. Maybe we can go for a walk there together next Saturday, what do you think?” A specific proposal is usually more effective than “let's meet again someday,” because it can make the other person confident that you're not just saying it out of politeness.
After finishing the conversation, say one of the main points of your conversation again. Your interlocutor will be convinced that you listened carefully and will feel your interest. For example: “Good luck on Sunday at the marathon! I hope to hear more details next week."
Finally, confirm that the interaction was pleasant for you. “It was very nice to meet you” or “Wonderful conversation, thank you.” Thanks to such words, your interlocutor will feel important.

Connect with everyone everywhere. Now that you are familiar with the basics of the art of dialogue, you need to start using your knowledge with all the people who meet you on your life's path. At first, you may feel uncomfortable engaging in conversation with those who seem too “different” to you. However, the more different people you allow into your life, the more you will begin to realize how much you have in common - after all, we are all human.

Part 2

Work for results

Set clear, healthy goals for yourself. Becoming sociable is an elusive goal, primarily due to its complete abstraction. It will become easier for you if you break large goals into smaller ones. Instead of telling yourself to become more social, set a goal every day to start at least one conversation, reach out to a stranger, or smile at five people.
- Start small. Try to engage in a secular, non-committal conversation with a stranger or acquaintance at least once every day. Even if this is a difficult task, try just smiling. Say hello to your neighbors. Remember the bartender who served you coffee every day for the last three months? Ask him what his name is. Small victories like these will help you maintain a determined mindset and take bolder steps in the future.
Join the club. If you're not sure how to make social contacts, join a social club. You will have a lot of opportunities to communicate, usually in a narrow circle, with people who have common interests.

Invite people to visit. In order to become sociable, you don’t even have to leave your home. Invite people over for a movie night or dinner. If you're welcoming, people will feel valued by you (and they'll be more likely to have a good time in your company).
Take up a hobby. Everyone needs to feel like they are good at something. Humans have an innate need to “control” something. Hobbies can be one easy way to satisfy this need. When we do something really, truly well, we feel proud and confident in ourselves in general. After all, if we succeeded in this, who’s to say that something else won’t work?
- In addition, a hobby provides a lot of opportunities to meet and communicate with new people and is very good for health, as it significantly reduces the risk of depression.
Focus on what you see in your clothes. It may sound cliché, but numerous studies have proven that what you wear can have a huge impact on how you feel about yourself. Appearance that helps you express your personality and values gives you confidence and promotes sociability.

Build on existing friendships. Don't forget about those who have already become your friends, And those you already know. You will not only strengthen existing connections, but also bring new experiences into your life that you can share with new acquaintances.
- Old friends are a great option for practice. They can introduce you to new people or accompany you to places you would never go alone. Don't forget about them! Perhaps they are experiencing the same difficulties as you yourself.
Introduce people to each other. In a sense, being sociable means helping people feel comfortable communicating. Once you're comfortable making friends yourself, start showing love to people by introducing them to each other.
- Introducing people to each other can help reduce social awkwardness. Think about what you know about each person - what do they have in common? When communicating with Katya from the handicraft store, take a moment to call a friend: “Hey, Seryozha, this is Katya. We were just discussing a new band's performance at a jazz festival. What do you think of them?”, knowing full well that they both like jazz. It worked!

Part 3

Use body language

Observe your body language. Nonverbal communication—body language and eye contact—say as much about you as words. According to body language researcher Amy Cuddy, your body also sends certain messages to others through its behavior. People rate each other on attractiveness, friendliness, competence, trustworthiness, or wariness in a matter of seconds. According to some studies, you may only have 1/10th of a second to make a first impression.

Maintain eye contact. Eyes are the “mirror of the soul”; you can become a more sociable person just by learning to maintain eye contact with others. So, for example, if you look a person directly in the eyes, this is interpreted as an invitation to communicate. The other person may give a long return glance to express agreement to your invitation.

Use your body to express your interest. In addition to how you sit or stand when you're on your own, you can use body language when communicating. “Open” gestures demonstrate your interest in the interlocutor and your willingness to continue communication.

Become an active listener. While listening to the person, be involved in the conversation. Concentrate on the other person's words. Look at a person when he tells you something. Nod your head in agreement, smile, and use interjections such as “Yeah,” “Mmm,” “Yeah.” This will show that you are following the conversation.
- Try not to look over the other person's head or to the side for more than a couple of seconds, otherwise this can be interpreted as a sign of boredom and inattention.
- Repeat the other person's key points or include them in your answer. For example, if you're talking to someone new who tells you about their hobby of fly fishing, mention it in your next line: “Wow, I've never fly fished before. However, the way you talk about it suggests that it should be quite entertaining.” This way the other person will understand that you really listened to him and did not have your head in the clouds and did not make your future plans in your head.
- Before you speak, let the person finish.
- Don’t rehearse your answer to yourself while you’re listening to your interlocutor, and don’t rush to speak as soon as he’s silent. Concentrate your attention completely on the words of your interlocutor.
Learn to smile. If you've ever heard the expression “smiling with your eyes,” there is scientific research behind it. People can tell the difference between a “real” smile and a fake one due to the fact that a real smile requires the use of many more facial muscles. There is even a term “Duchenne smile” that refers to a real smile. This type of smile uses the muscles around the mouth And around the eyes.

Force yourself to get out of your “comfort zone.” According to psychologists, there is a zone of “optimal anxiety” or “productive discomfort” that borders directly on your comfort zone. When you are in this zone, you are more productive because you are willing to take some risks. However, you are not so far from your “safety zone” that you become paralyzed by anxiety.

Reconsider your attitude towards “failures”: treat them as experiences from which to learn. Along with risk comes the possibility that this risk will materialize and you will not get the result you expected. There is always a temptation to regard such situations as “failures.” The problem with this worldview is that it devalues everything else. Even in the worst case scenario, there is always something you can learn for yourself for the future. After all, it's better to be smart in hindsight.

Part 4

Think positively, effectively and confidently

Become social on your own terms. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert or a shy person. Determine what exactly you would like to change in yourself, and change, but for the sake of “yourself”, and not someone who insists on it..
- Think about why your shyness bothers you so much. Perhaps this is a case where the solution lies in simply accepting yourself for who you are. Being yourself and being shy is much better than denying yourself and pretending to be an extrovert.
- Remember: In what kinds of situations do you become shy? What exactly provokes it in these situations? How does your body react? How do you tend to deal with such situations? Becoming aware of how you behave is the first step to taking control of your reactions.
Realize that this is a skill. Sometimes it seems that all these social chameleons that are in everyone’s sight were born this way. And this is partly true: some people are naturally predisposed to pay attention to other people and make an impression - but overall, it is an acquired skill. The scientific world is inclined to believe that you can learn to change your reactions to certain situations by developing new habits of thinking and behavior.
- If you know people who are outgoing (and you definitely do), ask them about this personality trait. Have they always been like this? Have you ever felt the need to “learn” how to be sociable? Do they have their own (even limited) understanding of social anxiety? You may hear the answer: no, yes and yes. And it will become obvious to you that such behavior is the result of a decision once made to take control of the situation.
Think about your past successes. Somewhere at a noisy party, the thought of having to communicate with people may give you a familiar feeling of anxiety. You may have negative thoughts about your ability to interact pleasantly with people at a party. In this case, think about those situations when you were able to enjoy time with other people and feel comfortable doing so. You may be quite social around your family and friends, at least some of the time! Transfer this experience of successful communication to your current situation
- Remembering all the times we managed to do something that required us to overcome our fear, we are convinced again and again that we are capable of it. Such awareness gives confidence.

Be open to your surroundings and live in the moment. If you yourself do not enjoy communication, no one will.
Smile as often as possible. Alone with yourself or among others. Smiling will lift your mood and you will be more inclined to communicate.
Once you feel comfortable starting the conversation, take the next step. Learn to have a conversation and win people over.
Be proactive. If you see a stranger you're interested in, just walk up and ask, "What's your name?" and, after waiting for an answer, continue: “And I’m (insert your name), and I’d like to make friends.” You might be treated like a weirdo, but that's okay. At the very least, you will demonstrate friendliness and willingness to communicate.
Resist the temptation to behave in ways that are inconsistent with who you are. The basis for confidence is to be yourself.
Don't forget that the path from shyness to confidence in communication does not happen overnight. It may take weeks, months, or even years before you reach a comfortable level of confidence. Give yourself time. Practice communicating with different people. In a school classroom or on a board of directors, it doesn't matter.
If people are interested in your life, don't forget to ask them similar questions in return. It's easy to forget, but asking questions like these can help you enrich your communication.

Often in a group you can meet a pretty girl who sits on the side and is silent. At first glance, such people seem arrogant, but in reality the situation is different. Beautiful ladies, endowed with natural charm, cannot carry on a conversation. This situation arises for many reasons: some are afraid of communication, others do not know where to start a conversation. To become the soul of the company, you need to work on your own communication skills, improving them daily.

Step #1. Don't analyze your own words

When a person feels awkward communicating with other people, he tries to analyze his own communication on a subconscious level. From here begins a full-scale selection of the “right” words, isolation and awkwardness develops.

There is no need to think ahead about dialogues that have not yet taken place; act according to the situation and at the same time watch your language. If you neglect this advice, you will not be able to experience true pleasure from communicating in company.

In cases where you are in unfamiliar company, do not swear, do not make caustic remarks or jokes. Otherwise, there are no restrictions; you don’t need to compose sentences in your head according to the rules of the Russian language.

If you suddenly embarrass yourself, know how to laugh at yourself. Try to find a way out of the situation by staying positive and don't become isolated. Learn to joke, thereby making people smile. Later you will notice that your opponents feel joy from communicating with you, this will contribute to emancipation.

Step #2. Be realistic about criticism

Criticizing one’s own “I” is a necessary thing, but the procedure must be carried out with a cool mind. If you reproach yourself for any reason, stop.

There are often cases when a person, being alone with his thoughts, begins to engage in self-flagellation. He replays awkward moments related to interpersonal communication in his head over and over again. Such a move only aggravates the situation, causing you to become withdrawn and gloomy.

To become a cheerful and sociable person, you need to approach everything with humor. Know how to listen and hear what is being said to you. It is not necessary to follow the direction, it is enough to give the impression that the opponent was understood.

Step #3. Highlight the positive traits

When a person is closed, he does not notice his own advantages, seeing the disadvantages in everything. If you are one of these characters, it's time to correct the situation.

Take a notebook or album sheet, write down your positive qualities, achievements, victories. In this case, important attention must be paid to material well-being, intellectual and physical abilities, and the emotional component (personal character traits). The next time you decide to think negatively, read the above and smile. You are an individual with your own pros and cons.

Get started with your mind. Get into your head the idea that you are a cheerful and sociable person. Do not use words such as “boring”, “blues”, “antisocial”, “boring”, “unsociable”, etc. in relation to yourself. As soon as you believe that you are able to carry on a conversation and be the life of the party, this will certainly happen. Everything that happens is in the head.

It is also important to agree with yourself on a subconscious level that you love people. Such a move will help reveal you as a person, pushing you to make interesting acquaintances. Of course, there are a lot of hypocritical, evil and greedy people, but you shouldn’t put everyone under the same brush. Learn to distinguish such characters from interlocutors who are really worth your attention.

Step #4. Don't overestimate your importance

Psychologists made an extremely interesting discovery. They showed that humble individuals, who are usually not noticed in the company, tend to think that they are important. Such people sincerely believe that other participants in the conversation are watching them and secretly criticizing them. However, such misconceptions are extremely erroneous.

This paradox makes a person feel uncomfortable when in a large company. This results in a reluctance to communicate and a fear of contact in general.

This outcome of events does not mean at all that your interlocutors are indifferent to your presence, no. They are too busy to constantly pay attention or engage in unnecessary criticism in their head.

People are so passionate about their own “I” that they simply will not notice the possible shame or incorrect wording. For this reason, you don’t need to isolate yourself; stop paying attention to others. Even if your mistake (which has not yet occurred) is noticed, it will be forgotten after 5-10 minutes.

Step #5. Become an active communicator

To become a sociable person, you need to learn to listen to your interlocutor and actively maintain a dialogue. During the communication process, pay attention to your opponent’s behavior and remember what he says. Ask relevant questions, don't look away, make eye contact. Nod in every possible way, make it clear that you care about his story.

Learn to respect the person standing in front of you and telling you something that, in his opinion, is interesting. Don’t check your phone every 5 minutes, don’t use VKontakte, don’t look around. Such behavior is considered rude and will show your opponent that you are not interested in his company.

Maintain a positive vibe, don’t complain about life, don’t talk about your meager financial well-being. On the contrary, make it clear that no difficulty will lead you astray from your intended path. When your opponent asks you to tell them “something about yourself,” focus on the fun parts. If your interlocutor wants advice, try to choose your words as sincerely as possible and solve the problem.

Step #6. Practice communication

Like any other thing, the ability to be a cheerful and sociable person comes with experience. You can’t immediately be born the soul of a party; people come to this with age, the basics are laid in childhood. Get ready for the fact that from now on you will have to get out of your comfort zone and train hard.

At every opportunity, do not miss the opportunity to exchange a few phrases with colleagues, household members, and friends. Don’t divide life into “training” and “everyday life”; combine one with the other.

Don't be afraid to talk to the salesperson about the weather or the bus driver about traffic conditions. Ask the neighbors' grandmothers how they are doing or discuss the yard cat. You should be involved in all areas of life, behave at ease.

Don't refuse to invite friends to attend a big weekend party, go bowling with a group, or hang out in the park. Become the initiator of parties, gather everyone together, go have fun and communicate. Interesting events that happened to the company will create the basis for discussing a new topic.

Step #7. Pay attention to gestures

Sign language is considered to be an important aspect of proper communication. During a conversation, a person raises his hands, rubs his eyebrow, straightens his hair or averts his eyes; all this must be taken into account. The specific position of the opponent's body characterizes his location.

If you want to get involved in a dialogue, you don’t need to stand in the corner of the room or sit modestly on the sofa with your arms crossed over your chest. This sign symbolizes closedness, unwillingness to communicate. Also, don’t constantly nod off to your phone, showing disinterest. Live in the real, not virtual world.

Smile more often, look into your eyes, and don’t fiddle with your clothes. Show yourself as an open person and ready for interesting conversations. Don't wait to be invited to join the company, come yourself. Show people that you are interested in communicating with them, become an initiator.

Step #8. Make new acquaintances

Many people, for certain reasons, are afraid of meeting new people, and this is not surprising. For a person who is not used to constant communication, this state of affairs is a real stress. However, to become cheerful and sociable, you need to constantly work on yourself.

When you only keep in touch with good friends, you automatically fall into your comfort zone. There is no need to talk about general topics here; the dialogues become more personal and open. In the case of unfamiliar people, there is a need for constant adaptation, which is considered an undeniable advantage.

Look for any ways to make new acquaintances. Travel, communicate on social networks, attend large parties. Don’t refuse your friends when they once again invite you to meet interesting people. The main thing is to remain yourself in any situation, do not try to please everyone. Stand your ground, but don't argue too fiercely. Learn to say “No!” if the situation requires it.

It is not difficult to become a sociable and cheerful person if you follow certain psychological aspects. Don’t try to analyze your own words and actions, learn to accept objective criticism, and don’t be led by emotions. Pay attention to positive traits, regularly improve in conversations with opponents. Look for ways to make new acquaintances, become an active interlocutor.

Video: how to become sociable

While it may seem that some people are naturally more sociable than others, the important thing is that all human beings are social and, like any other skill, one can learn to be more sociable. Read this article to find out how to get out of your comfort zone and improve your social life.

Steps

Part 1

How to overcome complexes

Be less critical. Some who call themselves "antisocial" are prone to constant criticism of themselves and others. They avoid social connections because, on the one hand, they are afraid of criticism from others, and on the other hand (which is very ironic) they are very critical of others. To become a more social person, it is important to accept that everyone, no matter who they may seem, has positive and negative qualities. What separates confident people from insecure people is their attitude towards themselves. Confident, outgoing people tend to focus on the positive traits in themselves and those around them, while insecure, antisocial people focus on their own shortcomings and those of others.
- Make a list of your positive qualities. Make sure you include both internal (intellectual, emotional) and external (physical) qualities. Make it a habit to remind yourself of your positive qualities every day, and you can get rid of any negative thought with the help of two positive ones.
- Stop thinking of yourself as shy, quiet, or antisocial. The more you use these words to describe yourself, the more you become accustomed to the idea that you are incapable of communicating and also begin to avoid other people. If you want to become a more sociable person, you need to first believe that you can be sociable. Remind yourself that you choose whether to be social, not nature.
- Accept that human nature is good. Although there are many bad people out there, it is important to accept that people can be loving, kind and tolerant. If you believe this, you will want to meet new people instead of avoiding them.
Don't try to analyze your communication. If you analyze communication too much, you won't be able to enjoy it. Although it may seem difficult, it is important to break the habit of second-guessing and analyzing communications.
- Instead of focusing on what went wrong or how you embarrassed yourself, start new interactions with a clean slate and a positive attitude.
- When you think about past communication situations, focus on the positive rather than the negative. Even if it wasn't the most meaningful or interesting interaction you've ever had, try to find something positive in every situation, even if it's something as simple as making someone laugh.
Realize that you are not that important. Interestingly, humble people who feel invisible and unwanted also tend to feel like they are constantly being watched and criticized. This strange paradox of shyness prevents people from feeling comfortable around other people. This does not mean that you should think that no one needs you, but that you are your own worst critic; other people are too busy to constantly judge and criticize you.
- Remember that people are so caught up in their own lives and socializing that they don't have time to notice if you embarrassed yourself, said something stupid, or didn't look perfect. Even if they notice, they are unlikely to think about it, since they have plenty of their own problems.
- Understand that everyone (to one degree or another) feels the same way. Even the most sociable people feel insecure and worry about embarrassing themselves; the only difference is that they took a risk and enjoyed it rather than worrying about how others would react.
Part 2
How to improve your social life.
1. Practice. As with any skill, it takes consistency and practice to master sociability. This means that you will need to get out of your comfort zone and force yourself to constantly communicate with other people. Try not to compartmentalize your life or separate your “social life” from the rest of your life. If you truly want to become a sociable person, you need to be sociable in all aspects of life, from work and school to family.
  - Train yourself to strike up casual conversations with people you meet every day, including bank employees, bartenders and tellers.
  - Spend your free time with friends whenever possible. If you're the type of person who spends time doing hobbies or physical activities, try inviting a friend next time.
  - Always accept invitations. Avoid excuses like you're tired, you have to wake up early, or you're not in shape today. While some of them are valid, others are used only to avoid communication. Learn to distinguish honest arguments from dishonest ones.
2. Be positive. Everyone wants to be around optimistic, cheerful and happy people. Even if you are not positive all the time, you need to at least pretend positive when you talk to other people. For example, if someone asks you to talk about your life, focus on the positive aspects of your life rather than the negative ones.
  - If your life is positive, you will constantly attract other people's interest and they will want to know more about you.
3. Engage in conversation. If you want to appear interesting, you must show your interest in their life, especially in conversation. When you talk to someone, listen to what they have to say rather than thinking about what you need to say. Make eye contact, nod your head, and ask questions.
  - Try not to constantly check your phone or look around during a conversation. This behavior is considered rude and shows that you are not interested in the person or the conversation.
4. Watch your body language. If you are at a party or other event, the position of your body conveys a message to other people. If you want others to approach you, you shouldn't stand in the corner with your arms crossed, checking your phone and frowning.
  - If you make eye contact and smile, you will appear friendly, open, and nonthreatening. Besides, everyone looks more attractive when they smile.
5. Initiate communication. If you are constantly waiting for people to call you or invite you somewhere, then you are wasting your time. Relationships are built on mutual efforts; If you want to show people that you value your friendship, you need to take a step forward and find ways to spend more time together.
  - Keep in touch with friends even if you don't live in the same city. Pick up the phone and call them, send them a message or email to ask how they are doing.
6. Take advantage of opportunities to meet new people. The best way to make new friends and expand your social circle is to say yes to meeting new people. Accept invitations to parties and meetings, travel to new places and talk to strangers in a cafe, at school, on a plane, and so on.
  - Although meeting strangers can be intimidating, think of it this way: if you don't know where to start, you have nothing to lose if it doesn't work out. On the other hand, you never know which stranger might become your new best friend, business partner or loved one!
- Being sociable doesn't mean you have to be friends with everyone. It is impossible to please everyone; it is much more profitable to have a small circle of close, important friends than a hundred mediocre ones.
- Don't forget to smile and say hello to everyone. This will help you break down barriers, make people remember you, and get them to talk to you later.
- If you are positive, you will be a good influence on others.
- Always try to be yourself and not someone you are not.
- If you feel a lack of communication, then pick up a new hobby, join a local club or sports team, become a volunteer, etc. Choose an activity that involves interacting with people.
- It is best to keep your opinions on religion, politics, abortion, etc. to yourself, unless the person you are talking to shows a genuine interest in these issues. These topics rarely lead to pleasant conversations.