Why do we respect a person? Respect is the key that can open the heart of another person.
Have you ever noticed that good people are often disrespected? They help others, are patient, do not harbor grudges, but for some reason they constantly feel upset and lonely. Psychologists believe that the reason for this is errors in the behavior of such people. Today we will help you understand them.
Useless self-sacrifice
You ignore your own needs for the sake of others, but the world simply does not notice. And even if people insult you, you consider yourself to blame. This approach will inevitably lead to people frustrating you over and over again. Don't be afraid to tell the world if you don't like something. This will help you attract people with the same interests as you. On the other hand, unnecessary self-sacrifice most often goes unnoticed.
Lack of self-esteem
You don't seem to feel when other people are being rude to you, or you just turn a blind eye to these "little inconveniences." But a naturally rude person will never love or respect you for this. So why do you continue to tolerate this? If someone acts like they don't care about you, then it really is true. Don't make excuses for rude people. Respect yourself.
You depend on the approval of others
People who have a pathological need for approval from others subconsciously give off signals that something is wrong with them. But those around them do not want to communicate with people who are somehow different from them. Stop expecting praise. You don't need to hear about how good a person you are to actually be one. And don't be afraid of criticism. People will criticize you for almost everything for one reason or another. Your opinion of yourself should always be the most important.
You look for the source of problems only within yourself
You automatically assume that everyone around you is right, except when it comes to yourself. You believe that you yourself are responsible for everything that happens around you. Remember that no one will thank you for this, but they may take advantage of you and make your life even more difficult. Finding the culprits is a thankless task. It will bring you neither love nor pity. Instead, focus your efforts on finding a solution to the problem.
Boasting
If you constantly try to emphasize your strengths and ask for respect, then you are in a dependent relationship. The more you try to convince others that you are a good person, the more often you will receive refusal. Even if you really are.
You can show others that you are worth something only if you sincerely believe in it. If you know your worth, you won't need to prove it to anyone.
Fear of Rejection
You don't want to upset anyone, even if it means inconvenience to you. You pretend that everything is fine so that others won't worry if you're not happy with something. As a result, you are very often dissatisfied with what is happening around you.
Don't be afraid to say no. Even the best people in the world can try to take advantage of you if you let them. Help others only if you really want to.
Ignoring one's own interests
You are used to adapting to other people's needs, so it is difficult for you to understand your own desires. You yourself cannot decide what to do, so you always listen to outside opinions. If you are unable to make decisions and feel helpless, other people are unlikely to respect you. Learn to listen to your own desires and do not be afraid that you may offend others. Most likely, your fears are far from reality, and you can always find a compromise.
You cannot define the boundaries of what is permitted
You always forgive others, because it is easier to do than to stand up for yourself. Even if others disrespect you, you make excuses for them. It is important to define your own boundaries of acceptable behavior so that you do not allow others to cross them with you. People who allow everything do not command respect.
Fear of loneliness
You turn your relationship into a cult, sacrificing yourself. Moreover, doing this makes you feel comfortable. Perhaps this is why you only meet bullies, narcissists and selfish people, because you allow yourself to be used.
You shouldn't have to choose between your relationship and your self-esteem. If you have to make this choice, something has gone wrong. Be bold and don't be afraid of change. Think of solitude as freedom, and you will never be on your own for long.
You think respect has to be earned
You agree that respect should be a result of action or behavior. As a result, you do not feel comfortable if your relationship with someone is equal because you strongly believe that respect must be earned. You think that a person has value only if they have done something.
The truth is that love or respect cannot be “bought.” Learn to love and be loved unconditionally, and your relationships with other people will become much easier.
"Respect. Why can you respect a person?”
To answer this question, you need to understand the interpretation of the word “Respect”.
Respect is:
. a feeling of respect for someone or something
. respectful attitude, that is, showing a feeling of respect
Respect is always based on recognizing someone's merits, merits, high qualities, importance, significance, value, uniqueness, etc.
Each person, for himself, chooses a number of criteria by which he will judge and subsequently respect this or that person. In my humble opinion, a person cannot be respected for “beautiful eyes.” Here you need to learn one main principle: they are respected for SOMETHING.
The respect of other people must be earned.
The Bible says: “Everyone and everyone is known by their actions, and not by their words!”
As an example, we can cite many demagogue deputies who promise to uphold the law, put schools and gardens in order, clean up the city, etc.
“On business... They will find out.”
No one will respect a person simply because such a person exists. In fact, as I think, they don’t respect a person, they respect their achievements.
It doesn’t matter what your last name is, whether your parents have a fat wallet, or whether you can speak beautifully.
Just as I wrote at the beginning - they are respected for “something”...
And this “something” is chosen by everyone himself.
One person will respect another because he is excellent at karate or knows how to cross-stitch. And another person may consider karate and cross stitching to be nonsense or a pointless waste of time. (Example.)
Many people want to be respected. Also, many people may not understand the meaning of the word “respect”, and may simply not achieve respect in their actions (not earn it, not prove themselves) and become jesters, clowns, bandits; yes by anyone. The main thing is to pay attention.
But few people think: what did you do to be respected?
You need to approach any person “with a clean slate.” That is, give the opportunity to do something, and then decide whether you like it or not, respect it or not.
I have also met people who literally respect everyone and for everything.
Either from the breadth of the Russian soul, or from delicious vodka.
Respecting everyone means respecting no one. Just like you can’t love everyone. You need to respect not for status, but for specific actions.
It is impossible for a person in his right mind to respect Nazis, terrorists, criminals, etc.
That is why I sometimes do not understand the intention of the church to convey to people some apothegms like: “God loves everyone” and “We need to love everyone”... etc.
How can you love or respect these people...? However, it’s not for me to judge.
But I know for sure that you need to honor and respect your family and friends. Especially those who raise us, give us life, show us the way.
You need to honor your parents. Instill love for God.
And in general, try to get closer to a democratic society.
There will never be democracy in Russia. And it won’t happen not because of who is “at the top”, but because of the people themselves who survive in our country. Because everyone tries to benefit only themselves. And live only for your own pleasure. I don't want to contradict myself and tell people to respect each other. But I want people to treat others with RESPECT.
And behavior. Everyone has their own reasons for this, as well as their goals. But there is something that unites us all. What everyone wants is respect. This is one of the most significant factors for each of us. We respect some people and expect that they will treat us with respect.
How often do our expectations coincide with reality? Most likely, not as we would like. Respect is something to strive for.
The first and most important thing is your self-respect. Think for yourself. Would you respect a person who doesn't love himself? Of course not. And for what? People are respected for what is good, positive, and distinctive in a person, but in people who do not value themselves, such qualities are very difficult to notice.
Each of our bonds has something good, something that makes us different from the rest. If you come home from work every day and feel overwhelmed and unsatisfied with your life, you might want to consider making a change. There is no need to change anything radically right away. Just stop and think about what gives you pleasure, what makes you happy, and what makes you feel alive. Make a habit of pleasing yourself and giving yourself a break. Show yourself some respect. This will be a good help in developing you as a self-sufficient person. A solid appearance that is certainly appropriate for the time and place will also be important.
The second rule is considered to be the need to respect others. Precisely a necessity. Respect everyone you deal with in order to gain respect. This is very important to always remember. Everyone is worthy of respect. Every person has something for which they can be respected. If you cannot find this quality in any of the people you meet, it is worth thinking about the fact that we are all worthy of respect simply because we are Human. We were all not born and raised by our mothers to be treated with disrespect. And I don’t want to think that we are dealing with unworthy people. This means that the people around us must be worthy of respect.
Show confidence. Don’t be afraid to defend your point of view, take initiative and, if necessary, engage in self-promotion. We are often too afraid of being judged or ridiculed. There is no need to be afraid of what may not exist. You must believe in yourself and ensure that you are listened to and your opinion is taken into account. I would like to add one more point here. It is sometimes very difficult for each of us to refuse someone. We are often asked for help that is harmful or simply not useful for work, image or personal time. You need to clearly and firmly abandon the habit of giving in to everyone. Learn to answer "NO". "Wags" are not respected.
If you know exactly what you want out of life and have a clear plan for how to get it, you will instantly move into a privileged circle of goal-oriented people. Knowing this, you can, without fear, take the initiative and offer your help in projects that interest you. You will, of course, meet all of the above points. People who have no purpose will admire you. This means that you have finally received respect. This is important for everyone.
A survey of citizens shows that nuclear power is the most important thing, and in the eyes of many, the only thing the country has for dialogue with the outside world
What should a country be like to be able to earn the respect of other countries? In order to find out what Russians think about this, Levada Center asked them two questions. The first clarified “what any country must first of all possess in order to command the respect of other states.” But since Russia is not “any” country, the second question asked why, as we believe, other states respect our homeland. As it turned out, the differences in the answers to these questions are very large.
Abstract country
The answers to the question about “any” country reveal the abstract views and general value preferences of our fellow citizens. And it is very logical that, in accordance with them, the “high level of well-being of citizens” came first among the reasons to respect a country. A country where people live prosperously, where there is no poverty - this country deserves respect. This answer turned out to be the most common among all groups of respondents. This answer was most often given by representatives of the poorest strata of society. And this is also understandable. The third most popular answer (we’ll skip the second for now) is very similar to the previous one, only it concerns not individual people, but the country as a whole - “a high level of economic development.” In total, they “weigh” almost as much as all the other answers combined. This is how Russians see an economically successful country, an abstract country that deserves respect. It would seem that all this suggests that there are a lot of people in society who are concerned about their own and the general well-being - they care whether their country turns out to be poor in the eyes of others.
Meanwhile, such a factor as “highly developed culture (art, literature)” was cited by few as a reason to be proud of the country - less than 10% (the fifth most popular answer), but it is believed that we are very proud of our culture. Further, it turned out that a “developed education system” does not make a country respected in the world; only 2% of respondents named it. In general, if there was money, everything else is not valued, Russians believe.
Now it’s time to talk about what factor our citizens place in honorable second place. This is "military power, nuclear weapons." Moreover, there is a category of respondents that puts him in first place - men. For women, welfare is more important, for men - armed force. This is our culture, in which the cultural component itself, apparently, does not have much importance.
The answers to the question that we have given relate primarily to how it should be, to the sphere of general ideals. Here, as we have seen, the female point of view dominates - therefore, economic success as a reason for respect for the country turned out to be the leading one. But in the practical sphere, that is, when we're talking about not about an abstract country, but about our concrete Russia, leadership is recognized for men. We will see this from the answers to the second question.
Country specific
So, why is Russia respected in the world? 6% believe that she is not respected at all, almost the same number of those who found it difficult to answer - that is, either they respect her or not, and for what, it is not at all clear. The bitter answer about the lack of respect is most often given by entrepreneurs, as well as executives. But for them, not to mention everyone else, such a view is marginal. And young people almost never agree with this.
The most common answer is “military power, nuclear weapons.” This was stated most energetically, as in the first case, by men. This is their view, their discourse. It is dominant here, this is evident from the fact that the answer about weapons is frequent in all other groups and categories of respondents. It turns out that nuclear power is the most important thing, and in the eyes of many, the only thing we have for dialogue with other countries. For men, the answer about weapons is equal in weight to almost all other answers combined. Answers about “rich natural resources and “large territory”” are in second and third place. But the importance of these factors in the eyes of men is respectively 2.6 and 4 times lower than the importance of weapons. A huge space with nuclear missiles and oil rigs is the image of Russia that, according to its inhabitants, commands respect from the outside world.
What about our great culture? The importance of domestic art and literature, domestic science and technology turns out to be eight times less than the role of power factors imagined by respondents. “The high level of well-being of citizens,” which the public brought to first place in the answers about an abstract country, is ten times less important for men in comparison with our military power. And women here submit to the male view of readiness for violence as a guarantee of respect from enemies/friends. The “welfare of citizens” turns out to be seven times less important for the fairer sex than military power and weapons of mass destruction.
It remains to add that “respect for human rights” as a reason to respect Russia is 3% (last place). Such a low rating could be explained by the fact that our citizens, in general, know how things stand with respect to these (their) rights in their native Fatherland. But for other countries they do not see this as a reason for respect (4%), that is, they believe that human rights are not significant for the surrounding world either.
Results
It is not surprising that the (currently falling) level of well-being worries many citizens. The idea that we are respected only because we can, if necessary, use weapons, including nuclear weapons, is also understandable, especially in light of statements recently made on this subject from the most authoritative lips. Another surprising thing is how low the authority of culture is, which is much less important than money and the nuclear button. In fact, no more than 8% cite culture as a reason for respect. As it turns out, even for educated people, culture is not of high value. And this despite the fact that everywhere they repeat “about our great culture”, that Russia gave the world such geniuses as Dostoevsky and Chekhov, Tchaikovsky and Shostakovich.
What happens? Has the masochistic joke about “Upper Volta with rockets” ceased to be a joke? If so, why?
After Crimea, we suddenly saw that the majority of countries that were authoritative for us did not want to understand or respect our steps, which filled us with delight and pride. We are not very worried about their economic sanctions, but, as the survey shows, we suddenly realized that in the language of universal human values, values of spiritual culture, science, art, we can no longer speak to the world (or simply cannot, without “ more")? Having convinced ourselves of our own power, if not then of our readiness to intimidate with it, in politics we have lost faith in everything except strength and prosperity. At the same time, prosperity belongs to “them”, and strength belongs to “us”. They are rich, but weak, we are poor, but dashing. If such a desperate consciousness guides the adoption of big decisions, it takes itself, the country, and the whole world into a high-risk zone.
