Problems in sexual life when changing partners. What to do? Why does thrush appear when changing partners? How does frequent change of partners affect a man?

I got the book by chance - I was recently at a work meeting in the city of Istra and stopped by to see what the New Jerusalem Monastery was like. My wife and I went inside and while we were buying candles, grandma cleverly sold us this book. I’ll say right away that my attitude towards the church is quite peculiar and despite the fact that I was baptized (without my knowledge in childhood), I treat some aspects of the Orthodox religion with great suspicion and sometimes it’s hard to hide my smiles about some nuances.

So why such a loud title and such a long introduction? I read this book up to a certain point:

But what about those who have experience of several intimacies with different people? The Apostle Paul speaks amazing words on this matter: “Or do you not know that he who has sex with a harlot becomes one body with her? for it is said: the two will become one flesh” (1 Cor. 6:16). These words are surprising in that a husband and wife become one body or flesh, between whom a spiritual and emotional connection arises. It turns out that every prodigal cohabitation does not pass without a trace for a person. He wanted to unite in body, but he did not want to unite with soul and spirit, but received everything at once. It is easy to break a physical connection. He slept and ran away, then go and look where you want. But the spiritual connection remains. And then it will be incomprehensible to the wife: she wants to love her husband with all her soul, but she cannot. Her soul, it turns out, is already connected with other people, and these connections drag her down and do not give her freedom. Her random lover is drinking himself somewhere far away, and his melancholy and despondency fall on her soul.

I wondered where I read about this and remembered Taisha Abelar - Magical Transition:

She explained that biological patterns provide every species of living things with the maximum chance of survival. And for this purpose, nature has created means that enable male and female energies to interact in the most effective way. She said that although in the human world it is generally accepted that sexual intercourse is primarily for the purpose of procreation, it also has another, implicit function, which is that it maintains a continuous flow of energy from women to men.
Clara pronounced the words “to men” with such an accent that I was forced to ask:
- Why do you talk about humanity as if it were a one-way street? Isn't sexual intercourse an equal exchange of energy between a man and a woman?
“No,” she replied emphatically. - Men leave special energy fibers in women’s bodies. They are like glow worms that live in the womb and absorb energy.
“That sounds kind of sinister,” I said, chuckling at her.
But she continued to speak completely seriously.
“These energy fibers have one even more sinister quality,” she said, not paying attention to my nervous chuckle, “which is that they provide a constant outflow of energy to the man who sowed them.” These fibers, which a woman becomes infected with during sexual intercourse, absorb and steal the energy of her body, which goes to those men who left them.

So the thought appears in my head that in modern society women are specifically hammered into their heads that they should be accessible, so that us male vampires have something to eat. Take the same prostitutes - the majority do not live to see 25 - they drink, starve, or simply kill somewhere.

I noticed that it is much more pleasant to communicate with girls who are less promiscuous, because... they know that their value is not what they have breasts and vagina, but what they have in their soul and in their head.

How can we look at this situation from a psychological point of view? How can this be described not from the point of view of the soul and energy, but from the point of view of the science of psychology?

“The family broke up two years ago, I was left alone with my daughter. The ex-husband quickly found a girlfriend. But I can’t.

Believe me, during these two years I did not have a single sexual contact. You probably won't believe it? I suffer all the time. After all, youth demands its own. And I am not a very sociable person by nature. I married off all my friends, but here I sit.

I won’t go out into the street and shout: I’m looking for a husband! Rather, I’ll digest everything within myself.

She became unsociable. Over the course of two years, I noticed, my nerves began to shake, my soul began to grow stale from “hungry loneliness.” I learned to suppress my desire for intimacy. Now it seems to me that I have become afraid of men. I don’t know why the feeling of fear arose. Because no one likes me? Yes, I’m afraid, if I find a person, will we be able to live together? They say that changing partners leads to bad results.

Stupid letter, right? I don’t want to get soggy.”

Tatyana S., 24 years old, teacher, Marx

The female body gets used to a permanent partner, the vagina - to the penis. Therefore, if a change of partner has occurred, sometimes, especially at first, everything can go wrong. But then, after a period of adaptation, everything returns to normal.

Over a long period of sexual life together, many fairly stable reflexes are developed in both men and women. You need to remember this when changing your partner and not be upset if not everything works out right away. And the most important advice to the author of the letter: look not for sex, but for

Causes of promiscuity (promiscuity)

Promiscuous sexual intercourse with continuous change of sexual partners
are called promiscuity.
Sexual contacts with casual partners (or partners) in
adolescence and even childhood may be the result of improper
sex education and lack of moral and ethical position when
parents do not explain to their child the basics of relationships between representatives
male and female, in dysfunctional families where the father or both
parents are alcoholics, or one of the parents behaves immorally
life, and sexual intercourse of drunken parents with casual partners occurs
in front of the children.
Mental and emotional immaturity characteristic of this age,
does not provide the opportunity for long-term attachment to one partner.
Insufficient sexual development does not allow adolescents to differentiate
good and bad sexual partners, and even more so if partners
are the same immature peers (or female peers).
Initially, a girl may lose her virginity out of curiosity,
the desire to appear “adult” or “modern”, out of fear of refusal
partner in intimacy, and sometimes as a result of rape, when her
forced to drink alcohol, and then all the members are raped in turn
companies. Feeling fear and shame, the girl hides this from adults. Or
due to her mental immaturity, she does not fully understand the consequences
happened, and subsequently “goes through the hands”, and can be used
everyone who wants it.
Promiscuous sex life can occur in antisocial adolescence
group with a heterogeneous composition, where the guys spend all their free time in
drinking, card games, sexual orgies and committing minor
offenses.
Girls, members of this group most often have pronounced mental
deviations and mental illnesses, come from dysfunctional families.
They drink with the boys and cohabitate with everyone in the group.
Or such girls are very unattractive in appearance and do not use
attention of other peers, and numerous sexual contacts in
within their group serves as a kind of compensation for the absence
attention and courtship from boys.
They may be attracted to the group by a leader with a criminal past, usually more
older than the rest of the group. At first he uses
a girl to satisfy his own sexual needs, and then
“gives” her to teenagers, and he himself “recruits” another.
Subsequently, many such girls become underage prostitutes
on their own initiative or become dependent on pimps.
Some men, out of fear of possible impotence, especially if they
they have sexual problems, they strive to “compensate” for this by engaging in
endless love affairs, preferring young girls who
undemanding during sexual intercourse.
They brag about their many "victories" to their friends,
showing them another “passion”, and thus creating an image for themselves
"sexual giant", although in fact their sexual capabilities are "lower
average."
Continuous change of sexual partners with multiple sexual intercourse
intercourse (up to ten or more) is observed with ephedron addiction in
at any age due to strong sexual arousal that occurs in
drug intoxication.
Promiscuity is also characteristic of some representatives of creative
professions. In some cases it is demonstrative and deliberate. This
characteristic of people with hysterical character traits who strive
attract attention in any way. Therefore, they not only do not hide,
but on the contrary, they advertise their numerous love affairs in every possible way,
which gives them the opportunity to constantly be in the spotlight of the press due to
numerous scandals associated with their name and the names of their lovers,
which increases their popularity, although very scandalous.
Some film actors and actresses “collect” only famous
lovers, and the longer the list of love affairs, even quite
short-term, the more they acquire a reputation as a “sex bomb”,
"sex symbol" or "hero-lover".
Their own sexual appetites can vary widely - from
increased sexual desire (nymphomania in women, satyriasis in
men) to very moderate.
In the latter case, the fact of a love affair is much more important for them.
with a popular person, which, in their opinion, creates a certain
the image of a temperamental lover (or mistress), since they were able to
gain the favor of a famous person.
In fact, they may have many problems with sex, and
numerous connections serve to hide them and assert themselves.
A demonstrative change of sexual partners may also occur in some
people of homosexual orientation in order to hide their
true inclinations.
In some people, promiscuity is due to hypersexuality and
inability to satisfy one's own desires with the help of one sexual partner
increased sexual needs, for example, in nymphomaniac women.
A clinical example is described in the chapter on adultery.
And some people have promiscuity and constant change
sexual partners is caused by an emotional defect, underdevelopment of higher
emotions and inability to form stable, permanent attachments.

Clinical example.
Olga N. 27 years old. She was not born in Moscow, in an intelligent family, the eldest
of two daughters.
By nature she was always frivolous, careless, she lived “like
moth", "fluttering through life". She graduated from the Institute of Culture in Moscow, worked
editor.
The beginning of sexual activity was at the age of 17, from the time she arrived in Moscow.
She doesn’t remember her first partner, she once drank a lot at a student
party and fell asleep. When I woke up, I found a young man next to me and
drove him away. I lived in a hostel, the morals there were quite free.
Lovers changed constantly.
At the age of 20, I married one of them, a Muscovite, but life with my husband is not
turned out, he was petty, greedy, jealous, and she was always attracted to noisy
and cheerful companies. There were 3 pregnancies, but I didn’t want to have children, and I did
abortion. Two years later she left her husband and lived with one lover, then with
another.
Outwardly she was always very attractive, with a doll face, plump
lips and long hair. She was promiscuous in sexual relations, she could
come to a party with one lover and leave the party with another. About her
everyone said that she didn’t value herself, as if she “found herself in a trash heap.”
Men said about her that “you pour her a glass, and she’s yours.” For
one party could have sexual contact with several men,
secluded with them in the bathroom, then in the toilet, then in another room, then even on
landing. I also tried group sex. In sexual behavior
was very relaxed, and despite her fickleness, men really appreciated
her as a sexually experienced lover.
But in her words, she herself treated sex “like a sport.” Orgasm
experienced it rarely, since she was undemanding, and if another lover
If she didn’t provide the necessary stimulation, she didn’t insist.
One of the wives of her many lovers splashed it in her face out of revenge.
some kind of aerosol, the liquid got into the eyes and caused chemical burns to the skin
person, and was taken by ambulance to the Research Institute named after. Sklifosovsky, where am I
and talked to her. She asked for a consultation herself in connection with
alcohol abuse.
Mentally immature, childish, incapable of feeling for anyone
long-term attachment. The moral and ethical position has not been formed.
The concept of shame and feelings of gratitude are absent. Absolutely highest emotions
undeveloped. Considers love and romantic relationships to be “inventions for girls.”
Doesn't feel regret or embarrassment even when going to bed
with the husband of a friend who gave her temporary shelter, says: “What about
Is this so?” Although she herself did not feel any attraction to her friend’s husband -
"He wanted to, but I didn't care." The same applies to others
to your sexual partners. Agrees to intimacy with a man even when sober
condition, and intoxicated. May agree even after the first minutes
acquaintance. Have had sexual intercourse in the presence of other people more than once,
if it didn't bother your partner. I didn’t feel awkward about it myself.
He talks about everything in cynical detail.
There are no real plans for the future. The only concern is how they will be reflected
burns on her appearance. There are no plans regarding future sexual life.
builds, “as it turns out.” Suggests that if she stops drinking,
perhaps her life will somehow be sorted out, but perhaps not. No measures myself
is not going to take action.

Personal tragedy may also be the cause of promiscuity.
in a person’s life, for example, when his partner cheats on him (for a woman -
partner), whom he loved very much and regards betrayal as betrayal.
In this case, with the help of frequent changes of sexual partners, a person
as if trying to annoy the cheater, to demonstrate that he
he lives beautifully, and does not tear his hair out of grief so that the one who changes
felt regret because of the breakup or humiliation that he quickly found
replacement, and not just one.
The reason for constantly changing partners after disappointment in personal life
and a breakup with a loved one, which led to mental trauma, maybe
and the fear of it happening again.
A person does not want to experience the pain of loss again, so he changes lovers
(or lovers) "like gloves", afraid to become attached to someone as a result
long-term relationship and subsequently experience another disappointment.
He regards sexual partners as a means of pleasure and
ruthlessly gets rid of them as soon as he feels that there may be
continuation of the relationship. Disappointment in the past shapes his (or her)
the belief that all women (or men) are prone to infidelity, and that
not to experience feelings of humiliation again, abandons his partners first.
The reason for the frequent change of partners may also be the constant search for a certain
"ideal" that the seeker assumes in each new partner, and
having gotten to know each other better, he becomes convinced that he (or she) is far from what he is looking for
ideal, and again seeks perfection. And since perfect people, like
known, no, then these searches can continue indefinitely.
Frequent changes of sexual partners may also be associated with a complex
guilt. For example, if a girl (or boy) in the past had any
sexual contact (for example, rape) due to which they
consider themselves defiled and unworthy to belong to a good person
or get married, then they thus “punish” themselves for their “sin”.
This can also happen if a girl lost her virginity early, and this
contradicts her upbringing and her own ideas about morality.
Some overly conscientious and suspicious young men have such a complex
guilt can form after sex with a prostitute or woman
significantly older than oneself, or in an intoxicated state.
The consequence of a guilt complex can be either “monastic asceticism” with
complete refusal of sexual activity, or the opposite - promiscuous
sex life as punishment.
The latter is more characteristic of people prone to masochism, therefore in
this self-punishment, the feeling of being “vicious”, “dirty libertines”,
Through humiliation they receive the necessary sexual satisfaction.

It is quite possible that you are panicking in vain. There are a variety of factors that cause discharge from the female genital organs to change in character.

Such factors include the onset of sexual activity and a change of sexual partner, sexual intercourse itself, taking hormonal contraceptives, changing intimate hygiene products or the composition of underwear, pregnancy, and the postpartum period. Let us consider the influence of these factors on the nature of discharge in detail.

The onset of sexual activity and a change of sexual partner lead to the fact that a new, foreign, unfamiliar, although absolutely normal, non-pathogenic microflora enters the woman’s genital tract. As a result, over a certain period of time (purely individual for each woman), the reproductive system and the woman’s entire body adapt to the “new residents.” This period is characterized by an increase in the amount of discharge, a change in color and consistency. The main thing is that there are no unpleasant sensations (discomfort, itching, burning).

Sexual intercourse itself also contributes to the appearance of specific vaginal discharge. Within a few hours after unprotected sexual intercourse (without using a condom), vaginal discharge looks like transparent clots with a white or yellowish tint. 6-8 hours after sexual intercourse, the nature of the discharge changes: it becomes liquid, white, and abundant. If sexual intercourse was protected by a condom or the method of interrupted sexual intercourse was used, then after it the release of a creamy, white, scanty secretion consisting of “worked-out” vaginal lubrication is characteristic.

Taking hormonal contraceptives helps to change the hormonal profile, which plays a fundamental role in the formation of vaginal discharge. Inhibition of ovulation, on which the action of almost all hormonal contraceptives is based, leads to a decrease in the amount of discharge (during the period of taking the pills). After discontinuation of the contraceptive, the nature of vaginal discharge is restored. Breastfeeding has a similar effect on the nature of discharge. At the end of the postpartum period, the amount of vaginal discharge is very small (provided the baby is fed “on demand” and there are no periods).

Perhaps your discharge is precisely due to the fact that you have only recently begun to be sexually active. If this is indeed the case, wait a while, try to use a condom during sexual intercourse and observe the discharge. If the problem still remains, then it will be necessary to undergo a series of examinations. Since simply by the nature of the discharge it is almost impossible to accurately establish a reliable diagnosis, since in most cases there is a combination of two or more pathological processes, and often doctors are faced with atypical manifestations of a particular disease. Therefore, based on the appearance of the discharge, one can only assume the development of a certain pathological process, and its presence must be proven by the data of clinical, laboratory and instrumental examinations.

Be healthy!

Additionally

Thrush is a fungal disease that can occur in anyone at any age. The disease has its own causes of development, as well as provoking factors. Treatment includes a whole range of measures that affects different areas of life, including sexuality. Can you have sex with thrush?

A qualified specialist can find out the true causes of the disease using comprehensive diagnostics. Changes in hormonal levels, endocrine disorders, weakened immunity, uncontrolled use of antibiotics, frequent hypothermia - all this and much more can serve as a trigger for the development of candidiasis.

Thrush can lead to serious consequences and even infertility, which is why self-diagnosis is unacceptable. An experienced specialist, through collecting anamnesis, will be able to figure out what could lead to a fungal infection and then give recommendations to help quickly get rid of the disease.

Is it possible to have full sex with thrush?

Many women who are faced with thrush are concerned about the question of whether it is possible to have sex during the treatment period. This question cannot be answered unambiguously; much depends on the individual characteristics of the person, as well as the form in which the disease occurs.

It is also worth noting that a fungal infection can be transmitted through sexual contact, which is why experts say that both should undergo treatment.

Why is it better to refuse sex?

Let's talk about the reasons why you should avoid intimacy during thrush. The first point is the high risk of infecting a sexual partner. Even oral sex can lead to the transmission of a yeast infection.

The second important reason is the likelihood of an additional infection. What are these risks associated with? The fact is that during sexual intercourse microtraumas can occur, which do not cause any pathological processes on a healthy mucous membrane. But the situation is completely different if the mucous membrane is already inflamed, in which case additional infection can easily occur.

As is known, the microflora includes not only beneficial microorganisms, but also opportunistic microflora. This means that some microorganisms are natural inhabitants of our body, but for a number of specific reasons they can begin to become active, which will ultimately lead to the emergence of a pathological process. So, sex with thrush can trigger the activation of “dormant” pathogenic microflora.

According to statistics, simultaneously with the recorded untreated candidiasis, the patient is found to have chlamydia, ureaplasma and mycoplasma infections. Therefore, the logical question arises about why aggravate the pathological process if it can simply be eliminated in a short period of time.

Additional reasons

Abstinence from sex during treatment is also indicated for the following reasons:

• inflamed and dry mucous membrane of the genital organs is very vulnerable and sexual intercourse will provoke itching, burning, and pain;
• local contraceptives and moisturizers, which can be used during intimacy, affect the therapeutic effect of drugs for thrush, reducing their effectiveness. Ultimately, this will affect the duration of the treatment process;
• sexual intercourse can contribute to the penetration of the infectious process into the urethra, leading to the development of serious complications;
• a woman may experience psychological discomfort.

In some cases, an acute process may develop into a sluggish course, which will remind itself in the form of exacerbations. By the way, such relapses can occur precisely after sexual intercourse. This is why it is important to take the treatment of candidiasis seriously.

During illness, many women have no sexual desire due to discomfort, but the sexual partner may insist on sex. What to do in this case? Experts recommend the use of condoms as barrier methods of contraception.

The use of neutral moisturizers that soothe irritated mucous membranes is also indicated. If a woman experiences pain during intimacy, then it is better, of course, to refuse sexual intercourse, because the main thing is health!

Thrush while taking birth control pills

One of the common causes of thrush is hormonal changes. The use of oral contraceptives affects a woman's hormonal balance. Experts say that there really is a connection between birth control pills and the appearance of thrush, especially in cases where the drugs contain high dosages of estrogen and progesterone.

Female hormones influence an increase in the saturation of vaginal tissues with glycogen, a substance that is a “delicacy” for a fungal infection. In addition, this negatively affects immune reactions, and it is the immune system that is responsible for controlling opportunistic microflora.

Changes in hormonal levels can lead to changes in the acidity of the internal environment of the vagina. Normally, the vagina has an acidic environment and yeast-like fungi simply cannot actively multiply in it. If female hormones increase, alkalization occurs, and the alkaline environment is favorable for the activation of fungal infection.

Thrush when changing partners in women

Changing sexual partners is one of the provoking causes of candidiasis. This is explained by the fact that changes occur in the microflora of the vagina. It is the disruption of the natural balance that is the catalyst for the appearance of candidiasis.

In a healthy state, the microflora includes beneficial bacteria that prevent opportunistic microflora from multiplying; if the composition of the natural environment changes, the number of beneficial microorganisms is not enough to control the fungal environment.

So, thrush can appear for a number of reasons; changing a sexual partner and taking contraceptives are not all the etiological factors. Sexual intercourse with thrush is a personal matter for each person, but experts recommend excluding sex. Take your health seriously and follow all medical recommendations if you want to completely get rid of candidiasis and then you will not worry about the question of whether sex with thrush is acceptable. Be healthy!