In harmony with yourself. Let’s analyze an essay with speech errors: “Do you need to admit your own mistakes?”

I was wrong, I lost my temper...

Which of us has not made mistakes in our lives? And not only did he commit it, but then regret it and suffer? I think there is no person who would answer negatively to these questions.

For any person periodically making mistakes is normal. After all, only those who do nothing do not make mistakes. Although sometimes, in my opinion, this is the biggest mistake. Now I want to talk not about the mistakes themselves, but about their consequences. More precisely, about correcting their negative consequences.

The ability to admit one's mistakes is a great virtue and a great art. Not everyone can step back, accept their mistake and correct it. Many people believe that by admitting a mistake, a person thereby shows weakness.

Is this really so?

I think every person at least once found himself in a situation where he defended his point of view with enviable tenacity, although it was clear to himself and everyone around him that this position was wrong. Why is it so difficult to admit your mistake, what prevents you from doing so?

What gets in the way, it seems to us, is an excess of pride. But it only seems, because in reality it is fear....

Fear of being defeated, bad, stupid, unrecognized, rejected, unloved. People who cannot admit their mistakes are overcome by the fear of loneliness and uncertainty. They are the reason for the sometimes absurd defense of an erroneous position. Some parents also do their bit when they instill in their child: “Be that as it may, defend your point of view!”

According to most people, retreat is a sign of weakness. In fact, by admitting his mistake, a person takes responsibility and admits that he doesn’t know how to do something, doesn’t know. He becomes open, unprotected. And combined with the fear of loneliness, this is a serious test for someone who is not confident in himself and his surroundings.

Retreat, like any demonstration of “weakness,” requires great strength. It’s not for nothing that they say that a strong and courageous person can admit his mistake, but a coward will persist. Although such “cowardice” is, rather, the misfortune of a person who thinks that by publicly admitting his mistake, he becomes insecure, fickle, doubtful, and changes his mind. And since in his understanding all these are negative character traits, then by showing these qualities, he, as a result, becomes bad.

In fact, we have come to the point that for a person who does not know how to admit his mistakes, the problem does not lie in the mistakes themselves, but lies much deeper. If it is difficult for a person to admit and accept that he can make mistakes and do something wrong, he needs to understand the attitudes that prevent him from doing this. You need to understand what causes discomfort and pain.

Only answers to these questions will help you abandon stereotypes, understand the underlying reasons that prevent you from admitting mistakes, and become more self-confident, stronger and happier.

So, after a long break, the idea came to write this article. What will it be about? Let's talk about what often prevents us from moving forward, comprehending something new, and developing in general. And, no matter how paradoxical it may be, the cause of problems often lies in our desire to be right!

“...But still, I’m right!”- a phrase that has caused many conflicts, upset nerves and other negative consequences.

“Truth is born in dispute”, said one smart person, but I think he was only half right. Truth is truly born in a dispute if the people participating in the dispute are looking for the truth, and not trying to prove to each other that they are right.

In general, why did I decide to write this article? Simply because for most of my life I was always trying to prove to everyone and everything that “I AM RIGHT!”... At the same time, I experienced real pleasure when I managed to prove that I was right to others.

The other side of the coin was that I simply experienced “hell torment” when I realized that in some situation I was wrong, but I did not have the courage to admit that I was wrong.

The ego is a nasty thing, it makes you feel humiliated and defeated when you are “in the wrong”, when you make a mistake. However, thank God, over the years some wisdom appears, which helps us realize a very simple and comforting fact:

“It doesn’t matter whether you’re right or wrong! It is important that you found the right option, even through personal mistakes. Admitting a mistake frees you from your own shackles, which force you to follow an erroneous decision only for the purpose of “being right in everyone’s wrong.”

When to admit you were wrong(or at least stop trying to prove you're right)?

1. When you are objectively wrong(i.e. some facts have come to light that indicate that you were mistaken). To continue to persist in this case is simply stupid!!! Tell your ego "tsits." It's okay to make mistakes. By admitting a mistake, you become stronger, not weaker (as many people think). On the contrary, the inability to admit your mistake is a sign of weakness.

2. When you see that your opponent cannot be convinced. And really, is it worth wasting your nerves trying to prove to others that you are right (even if you are really right)? Maybe a person prefers to be mistaken! Are you ready to waste your nerves trying to break through a person’s psychological defense?!

From my own experience I will say that this is a useless exercise. In addition, often there is simply no “right” solution. Each person has OWN view of life, because it is HIS LIFE!

If you can follow these two steps, your life will become much calmer. By allowing other people to live their lives, you allow yourself to live YOURS, without having to prove to others your right to live the way you consider “correct”!

"Your life - your rules"- a great thought that relieves nervous shock and stress. Just remember that other people have the right to use exactly the same rule!

Look at the USA, they are trying to impose on everyone their vision of the CORRECT structure of the state. And what? In my opinion, many countries hate the USA for their SHIT democracy (oops, misspelled... democracy).

By trying to impose your CORRECT point of view on everyone, you alienate those around you and become blind to your own mistakes. Refuse such “dermocratic” policies in your life.

Over the past 3-4 years, I have become somewhat wiser in this regard, thanks to which the number of conflicts in my life has decreased significantly. There are already so many negative emotions in life, you shouldn’t provoke them yourself, allowing your EGO to prove that you are right at every step.

Maybe I'm wrong; maybe I'm wrong. Tell me what you think about this in the comments.

We often commit rash actions, which then result in pain or trouble. But to err is human. However, the ability to admit our mistakes is simply necessary, otherwise our life can turn into endless soul-searching. But how to do this without harming yourself and others?

shutr.bz

Error is different. A mistake in a relationship with a man is different from a mistake in business tactics. But both of them can become fatal. Therefore, you always need to be alert and know how to correct, or better yet, prevent a critical step.

You should know - we are learning only on your own mistakes, and what we have lived, even if wrong, provides invaluable experience. Well, what you should absolutely not do is repeat the same omissions over and over again.

Let's look at some common mistakes we make in our lives.

Errors at work

A manager, by definition, must be the smartest and most competent in his department. The question arises: why then should he admit his mistakes, and even in the presence of his subordinates? And in order to increase the efficiency of the entire team, so that the work is based on the principles. In those companies where the manager is afraid to talk about his mistakes, swamping, stagnation more often occurs, and the company loses its position in the market.

The mistake of an ordinary employee is also of no small importance for the company. The well-being of dozens of people often depends on an employee’s ability to tell his boss about his mistake. The most common example: a technician servicing an airplane or other type of transport made a mistake and did not tell about it for fear of being fired. His mistake could cost people their lives. A mistake by a bank operator can lead to incorrect payments - again, people will suffer.

What to do? Admit to a complete mistake or correct it silently (but with the message not to hide it, but to do it as it should be). Yes, there is a risk of causing the wrath of your superiors and losing your bonus, or even your job. But is it better to live with a troubled conscience? And the boss, who perceives this as a valuable experience, will be valued even more by his subordinates.

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Parental mistakes often cost children well-being later in life. The most common parental mistake is imposing your way of thinking on children and choosing their life path for them. Mom and dad dream of their son becoming a doctor or lawyer, and the guy likes to do makeup for his sister and her friends and design outfits for them.

Parents are horrified: What are you doing, some kind of nonsense, go study chemistry and biology, otherwise you won’t become a doctor! It’s good if the son rebels and goes his own way, but what if not? A feeling of dissatisfaction with life is the least that is guaranteed to him.

The mistakes of mothers and fathers when they let children’s questions take their course are no less costly. When finding it difficult to answer, parents usually answer with the first thing that comes to mind. And then the child returns to them with other information and wonders how this can happen, because mom said... Admit the mistake? But won’t this lower parental authority in the eyes of a son or daughter? Yes, it will drop at first, but it’s not scary. It is much worse to lose a child's trust.

What to do? By admitting that we are wrong, we give our children the understanding that parents who admit their mistakes are adults and smart people who can be respected and followed by example. However, when apologizing to your child, do not relax your usual demands on him. He must understand that an apology is a sign of mental strength, not weakness.

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The biggest number of mistakes we make is in relationships. We approach our partner with our own standards and demands, demanding that he be perfect, and at the same time turning a blind eye to our own imperfections. A smart person should realize that both partners always contribute to a relationship. And the one who is wiser and who is more interested in smoothing out the conflict is the first to admit his mistakes. But, of course, in life everything is more complicated than in theory.

Feelings, especially negative ones, do not always disappear quickly. Often we are tempted to forgive, but with a condition. Even if the partner accepts such terms of reconciliation, it is quite possible that after this he will think very hard about the appropriateness of your relationship.

What to do? Firstly, you need to be able to convey your position to your partner without conflict. Secondly, you need to be sincere in your repentance. And thirdly, if you have repented of what you did, you must firmly understand that you no longer have the right to make such a mistake. And the most difficult thing is to admit your mistakes to yourself. It is very important that recognition does not become a vicious circular system.

shutr.bz

Admitting mistakes should be the first step towards self-development, not complacency. To prevent this process from turning into self-digging and self-destruction, it is worth doing the following internal work with yourself:

Alone with yourself, calmly admit the fact that you did something wrong.
Analyze the reasons for what happened. Don't dwell on superficial circumstances, try to get to the core of the problem.
Think about what needs to be done in the future to ensure that situations like this don’t arise again.

We hope our advice will help you figure it out if a difficult situation suddenly arises in your life.

For many modern people, the need to admit their mistakes is an incredibly difficult task. This often becomes the cause of disagreements at work between employees or at home between loved ones. The consequences of such behavior can be very unpleasant. Is it worth doing this? Our answer: no. And to confirm this, we will try to give in this article some tips on how to learn to admit your mistakes.

Why is it so difficult to admit mistakes?

But first, let's find out why it is very important for many people, even if it is incorrect. Why is it so difficult to say the simple words: “I’m sorry, I was wrong”? The problem is that for many people this behavior violates their belief in their own ideality. But don't ideal people make mistakes? They do. They simply acknowledge them, analyze them and correct them.

After all, a stain on clothes will not disappear if a person tries not to notice it and convinces himself that he looks “brand new.”

It is likely that admitting mistakes hurts one’s self-esteem. But a person who notices and admits his mistakes can be prouder of himself than one who ignores them.

As an example, we can cite the history of the development of some large corporations. If the leaders of Panasonic or Nokia analyzed all their shortcomings, corrected them and kept up with the times, they would be able to keep their business at the forefront. Only radical changes, admitting mistakes and a clear awareness of your failures allow you to develop and improve.

5 valuable techniques for learning to admit mistakes

So, you understand that it is very important to admit when you are wrong. But you don't know how to learn it. There are several techniques that allow you to objectively analyze behavior and make the right, informed decision.

1. Get rid of emotions.

If you have a conflict with your partner, you should not resolve it by shouting or scandal. It is best to stay away from each other for some time. This will allow you to cool down a little and carefully weigh the pros and cons. It is unacceptable to use derogatory words or obscene language towards your opponent during a quarrel. Otherwise, you will have to apologize doubly later. Take every opportunity to step away from the scandal and anxiety that you are experiencing. And only after some reflection in a calm atmosphere will you be able to understand who is right, admit that you are wrong if you have to, and make a decision.

2. “Switch places” with your opponent.

Try to look at the situation through the eyes of your partner, perceive mistakes from his point of view. Imagine for a moment that you are him. Try to take into account his point of view, worldview and experience as much as possible. As Dale Carnegie taught his readers, you need to be able to listen to people, not judge them. Smart is the one who tries to look at things through their eyes. Often this approach to conflict resolution brings very good results. And if, after looking at the problem from a different angle, you realized your mistake, you should apologize.

3. Involve a third party.

If you are unable to resolve the conflict and perceive mistakes objectively, ask other people for help. Choose those people who are able to assess the situation impartially. Tell them the whole essence of the problem, without hiding anything. Don’t forget to present your opponent’s point of view as correctly as possible. And let him say who, in his opinion, is right in this situation. This will make it easier to discover and accept your mistake without making it again.

4. Talk frankly.

Often a heart-to-heart conversation allows you to find a way out of a difficult situation and understand that you are right. When listening to your opponent’s point of view, under no circumstances resort to insults or scandal. Understand that mistakes must be acknowledged with dignity. The essence of the method is to comprehend the situation as calmly as possible and draw the right conclusions.

5. Are you ready to stop communicating with someone you quarreled with?

Do you understand that timely admission of mistakes will not only preserve friendship between people, but also strengthen it? Think, probably your ambitions are not worth parting with other people who have a different point of view on the current situation from yours.

People who understand that mistakes need to be admitted, analyzed and corrected are always surrounded by friends. Their life is much easier. Try to accept your mistakes, because of which conflicts hang over you. And after some time, you will notice how people around you will become more tactful and polite.

A reader wrote to the editor: “ It is believed that in our culture it is not accepted to openly and honestly say that you have made a mistake, or admit that you do not master a topic. There is a wonderful expression that the one who doesn’t work makes no mistakes, but in reality people do not like to admit their mistakes, considering such an admission to be a demonstration of their incompetence or weakness. It is also customary for us to demonstrate that you know everything, even if this is far from the case».

Zarplata.ru asked recruiters and employers how they teach staff to admit their mistakes.

Olga Pavlova, co-owner of the company “Pavlova’s Dog”:

Our entire business process is built on the design method of project management. And this method not only encourages mistakes - it is based on them. Accordingly, the ability to make constructive mistakes is so important for our company that we mainly test it when hiring.

Of course, hiring a master of mistakes is a rare success. Mostly, people come in severely crippled by school and university, or even by their previous employer. How we teach... Yes, as always, in battle, through training and theoretical preparation. It's difficult, but possible.

This is an immersion in our production culture, simply stuffed with situations of admitting mistakes. You can't survive in it if you don't learn. This is probably the “throw it and swim” technique.

Before we throw, we check whether the person has a chance to swim out.

I take this opportunity to say hello to our entire education system. She has become so skilled at extorting from people the innate ability to make mistakes and learn from their mistakes that only a few live to see the bright moment of being hired, most break down along the way. Hip-hip-hurray, more infantiles with honors, fewer efficient specialists, you are on the right path, citizens of teachers, associate professors, professors!

Maxim Blazhkun, head of Evart Corporation:
Everyone makes mistakes, but it is important to admit your mistakes and correct shortcomings. I have a personal “limit” on mistakes; I always give a person three chances. You can forgive 2 times, but the 3rd time, if you can’t handle it, you need to say goodbye. There is no point in enduring, teaching. I cannot work with a person if I see that he consistently does not admit and correct his mistakes. I don’t trust such an employee, he doesn’t suit me. At the same time, I believe that you need to say goodbye to people correctly - not only pay for the work that was done, but also give a minimum bonus on top + 10% -20% of the salary.
I don't like firing people, I personally don't like it very much. But what to do when trust is lost and the employee does not fulfill the tasks I set. Most likely, this is not because he is a bad worker, but because he is not competent.

To be honest, it’s hard to remember when someone asked me for forgiveness recently. Business people are proud, they always think they are right. And in this I am no better than others, I am also a very stubborn and proud person. But I know that there is no need to go to extremes and defend your opinion to the last. It’s bad that business people today forget Christian values: “In business there are no rules, in business there are only 2 options: either you hit or you eat.” But I believe that a businessman must be real, observe Christian values and pay people salaries. This is more worthy than kicking them out and making up reasons why it’s not worth paying for the last month.

I personally apologized and asked for forgiveness more than once. I don’t think that this is something shameful and shows my weakness. Only a strong person with great will is able to ask for forgiveness. After all, it’s not easy to admit your mistake not only to your business partners, but also to your subordinates.

Alexander Rukin, partner of the founder of the online apartment renovation ecosystem PriceRemont.ru and the ready-made design store ReRooms Yuri Goldberg:

You can motivate employees to admit mistakes using the carrot and stick method. Errors are intentional and accidental.

Any employee should admit an unintentional mistake; it’s simply beneficial for him, firstly. An error is when something goes wrong. This means that management will figure out the reasons for the problem, and the culprit will still be identified and punished.

In the case of an act with intent, when employees specifically violated technology, a business process, or stole something, recognition, initially, is usually not discussed. Let's reason, after all, if a person consciously went to commit something reprehensible, it means that he automatically concealed the intention that originally arose in him. The employee came up with something, then committed an act, deliberately committed a violation. I'm afraid that all that can be done here is to catch such an employee and give him a chance to correct what he did, admit guilt, and repent.

Recently, in one new project, the co-founder and employee received a kickback on the purchase of raw materials - they bought wood and ash. So funny, we paid, got ready to leave, and the man remembered that he “forgot his umbrella” and returned to the counterparty’s office. Then, as it happened, they caught him - they just double-checked the prices. This employee referred to the reason for taking a kickback: he had to go on business trips around the Moscow region several times at his own expense. The man also referred to expenses, and also said that “the devil led him astray”

Then, during the debriefing, several more employees went into schism, as they say. An engineer, a technology developer, together with this manager, put forward complaints: they are overly controlled, they want to be removed from the operating activities and development of the business unit. There are often such overly creative engineers. When putting production on a regular basis, they are not at all suitable. And they are only suitable for working on breakthrough inventions. Also suitable for laboratory scientific activities.

As a result, a new line of business for the production of thermally modified wood has remained frozen for now. And a small team was asked to work in a penal battalion mode: to accomplish feats in sales and business development, to receive a salary subject to receipt of revenue and coordinated work of the business unit. The essence of the method of working with the guilty is to give the last chance, to put them in the most severe framework and the most difficult conditions. Those who “messed up” - prove with a feat the right to continue working. Once you prove it, we will return you to work in regular business, on the usual commercial front line, and now - penalties and management’s expectation of a feat from the offending employee.

Alexey Volkov, CEO of the Digital.Tools agency:

The most important method: no punishment for independently admitting a mistake. We created the appropriate conditions and told that the main task of working on mistakes is not to put pressure on the employee, but to help him grow and work better.

At one time, we identified errors associated with low qualifications of employees as a separate area. The main thesis: in this case, it is not the employee who is to blame, but the company that undertrained the employee. The idea came to my mind that when the one who asks you for results and the one who teaches are one person, you work poorly. Thus, we have divided the functions of a manager and a mentor. We now have a trainer who constantly trains our employees. And you can consult him on a professional issue, without fear that this will lead to bad consequences.

The second tool is mirror audits. Employees working on similar projects mutually check each other's work and give advice. They perceive themselves as equals. And a colleague - as a person who came to help.

It is much more difficult with errors related to personal qualities. Cowardice, laziness, etc. Situations when employees are afraid to admit their guilt, thinking not about the result, but about how they look, or are simply afraid to admit that the mistake was their fault. Here we look at the root of the problem, involving a psychoanalyst who helps the person understand the underlying cause. If an employee doesn’t want to change even after that, then most likely he won’t stay with us.

Natalia Storozheva, General Director of the Perspective Business and Career Development Center:

The first recommendation on how to train employees to admit their mistakes is for the manager to have the courage to admit his own mistakes. Because bosses are people too, they also make mistakes from time to time. And in both big and small ways: they can also be late, fail to meet a deadline, forget flash drives, documents, forget to pay bills, etc. And, if the leader has the courage to admit and apologize to his team or to his clients (in front of the team): “Yes. I was careless, I forgot, I missed... I was not organized enough, please forgive me,” this is the best educational example for employees.
The second point is to never ridicule your employees for confessing. If a person decides to confess (it was he who did not attach the file to the letter, did not warn the client about the postponement of the meeting date), it is necessary to explain to the person what he was wrong about and how to avoid this in the future. Perhaps he needs additional awareness, additional access or authority. Or the error is systemic in nature, in which case explanations are not enough, training is required.
That is, the best way to motivate to admit mistakes is not to scold, but to teach how to correct it, confirming it with your own example.

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