Heart-to-heart talk before bed: the power of positive thoughts. Rituals according to the regime

If it is quite acceptable and even useful for a baby to sleep with his parents, then for a baby in the second and even more so in the third year of life it is time to sleep separately. If the family lives in the same room, it is necessary to put up a screen separating the parents’ area from the child’s sleeping area.

Start by moving into your crib. Place it close to your bed and lower the wall. Let the baby sleep next to you, but not on the parent's territory. A “cuddle toy” will help you a lot in relocation. The first year of life." Regularly place it between you and the baby, gradually displacing the child into the space of his bed. The first thing a baby should get used to is the absence of direct physical contact with mom.

It's best to start moving in during nap time, since you probably don't always sleep together during the day. After a few days or even weeks (no need to rush too much), raise the wall of the crib. After some time, hang up the walls of the crib thick fabric. When the child gets used to his separate nest, you can safely transport his crib to the nursery. This is the longest, but also the most painless relocation option for the baby. In addition, being in the crib, the baby will not be able to get out at night and come running to you. If he wakes up and cries, under no circumstances take him back to your place. Remember, young children form habits very quickly. It is enough to allow something once as an exception, and this exception immediately becomes the rule. You have only one way out: have patience, strength and sit next to the crib every time or take the child back to the nursery, without making any exceptions. Gently but persistently explain to your baby that mom and dad sleep separately, and the children sleep separately. It is very important that you are calm and friendly.

It also happens - the mother lies down next to the child, falls asleep, and no longer wants to get up, so she would sleep until the morning. Don't be tempted! Otherwise, you yourself won’t notice how your husband will remain in the bedroom, and you will move to the nursery. Tell yourself: “Stop! I’m not only a mother, but also a wife,” and return to your room. Get ready for the fact that your baby will come running to you many more times - when he dreams bad dream when there is a thunderstorm outside the window, etc., perhaps more than once a night. Whatever happens, return the child to his room, sit next to him and wait until he falls asleep again.

Getting used to a new place can take a long time. Still, if you decide that it’s time for your child to sleep in his room, be consistent. Give up and allow him to return to you “for a while” - next time moving away will require twice as much effort from you. Give up again - three times more. Don't expect that sooner or later the child will want to sleep alone. This, of course, happens, but much more often I have to work with children who, having reached school age, and even after finishing primary school, continue to sleep with their mothers.

Relocation should begin when the situation in the family is most stable. It will already take a lot of emotional effort from the child to get used to the new conditions. Try to make sure that these experiences are not layered on top of any other stress. In no case should relocation be carried out if the child is sick, if he has just gone to kindergarten, if the mother goes to work, if there is grief in the family, for example, the death of a close relative.

How to put a child to sleep?

Set a daily routine for your child and follow it strictly. Time to sleep, eat, walk, etc. must be recorded and mandatory for all family members. Don't allow yourself to sleep an extra 20 minutes during your nap; this will inevitably delay your evening bedtime.

Introduce a double strike rule. About 20 minutes before it’s time to go to bed, tell your baby: “You’ll be going to bed soon. It’s time to finish the game and put away the toys.” Five minutes later, a second warning: “It’s too late. It's time to put away the toys." When the agreed upon 20 minutes have passed, you, without further ado, begin to put everything back in its place. This will not be a surprise for the child, because you warned him.

Make getting ready for bed a ritual. At this age, ritualization minimizes the level of resistance. If the same actions are performed day after day and in the same order, the child gets used to them and begins to perform them automatically. They put the dolls in their places, put the cars in the garage, and went to the toilet. Next - shower or bath, laying out the bed. The baby does all this with you. Perhaps you have your own special rituals, for example, reading a book before bed.

It happens that it is difficult for a child to fall asleep alone in the nursery. If he is already used to sleeping in his crib, and now you are moving him to a separate room, sit next to him on a chair or armchair and wait until he falls asleep. Don't communicate with him, better read or do handicrafts. If he has previously slept with you not only in the same room, but also in the same bed, then it is better not to sit down, but to lie down next to you, as you have done so far. In general, the more constant there is in the environment, the easier it is for the child to get used to the new rules. Let it be the same bed linen, pillow, blanket. Be sure to put an old, favorite “comfort toy” in the crib.

After sitting in the nursery for some time, play an audio story recorded in your voice for your child and say: “I’ll go out for five minutes and come back. I need to take the pan off the stove.” Go out and come back again. The child must be sure that you will definitely come to him. Every day, under some pretext, leave the room, gradually increasing the time of your absence. Gradually, the baby will get used to being alone and falling asleep listening to your voice. A week or a week and a half will pass, and one fine day you will feel that you can say: “Well, Good night. Listen to the story,” and don’t add: “I’ll be right back.” The kid may ask: “Will you come back again?” - “I’ll come back to check on you.” After a while you actually check in to make sure everything is okay. Most likely, the child will already be asleep.

For some children, the presence of their mother does not calm them down, but, on the contrary, excites them. They have been wanting to sleep for a long time, but the desire to communicate is stronger. In this case, it will be better if mom leaves the room and leaves an audio recording of the fairy tale in her performance.

As soon as the baby is in bed, he remembers that he forgot to do the most important thing. And it begins: “I’m thirsty”, “I need to go to the toilet”, “read me a fairy tale”... And so on ad infinitum. It is clear that in fact he is simply trying with all his might to delay sleep. If he asks for a drink, place a drinking mug next to the crib. "I'm thirsty." - “The mug is on the nightstand.” If the baby calls you again, go into the room, but don’t turn on the light, don’t start long conversations, don’t lose your temper. Speak very briefly, in a calm voice.

Don’t give your child any reason to think that when he goes to bed, he’s missing out on something interesting and important. He should know that you are tired and are also going to sleep. Dim the lights in the apartment, turn off the TV, talk in a low voice so as not to disturb the child. I am not calling for a complete restructuring of the rhythm of life of the entire family for the sake of the baby. Going to bed at 8 pm is very inconvenient, especially if family members are just getting home at this time. Try to find golden mean. Let's say night sleep can be postponed until 10 o'clock in the evening, but the morning rise and the time of daytime sleep should then also be moved.

If your baby has trouble falling asleep, try taking him for a walk before bed. It's best to trust dad with this. Then the baby will have the opportunity to spend a little time with his father, whom he has been waiting for all day.

What are the best styling mistakes to avoid?

In my opinion, you cannot use revolutionary methods with children. Education should not break the child’s psyche; it is a progressive evolutionary movement. If we need to introduce some changes into his life - to accustom him to something or wean him from something - we need to think through a plan of action in advance. Gradually, step by step, you will achieve your goal much faster than with categorical prohibitions and demands.

Of course, you can go the other way - just tell your baby: “Now you sleep alone, period.” And don’t pay any attention to his screams. Most likely, you will be able to “break it.” After 5-7 days he will stop crying and start falling asleep alone. But at what cost? Yes, he will reconcile himself and understand that it is useless to call, that his parents abandoned him and there is nowhere to wait for help. And every evening he will fall asleep with a feeling of loneliness, abandonment, uselessness. I have no scientific evidence whether anxiety increases in children who are raised using such methods. But I'm sure it is.

Under no circumstances should you put your child to bed at the height of the conflict. This is how you develop neurosis. The baby should not fall asleep crying. All conflicts must be resolved before bedtime.

You can’t scare people with “babaika” and other monsters. This is, of course, very easy way cope with the baby. After all, children believe what we tell them. The child, frightened by horror stories, lies obediently, afraid to move. But does he sleep at the same time, and if so, does he have nightmares? It’s easy to scare, but it will be extremely difficult to treat fears that will subsequently develop in a child. Take care of him mental health. It is much more important than the immediate problems associated with falling asleep.

"I'm afraid"

By the middle of the third year, children become more fearful. This is fine. If moving to the nursery occurs precisely at this age, then the baby asks not to be left alone and says: “I’m afraid.” And yet, this does not mean that the baby is driven to his parents by fear, and not simple habit sleep in the same room with them. How can you tell whether he is really afraid or not?

If a child comes running to you and begins to communicate, jump, tumble, this means only one thing: he does not want to sleep yet, and he will happily spend half an hour in your bed. Push back your bedtime and give him that cherished half hour. Say: “Okay, let's hang out together. A then let's go to your room and you will sleep.”

A child who is truly scared behaves differently. First of all, he cries. He clings to you not with joy, but seeking protection. And he doesn’t feel any desire to tumble in your bed. He's not having any fun at all at this moment.

Children under three years of age can have very different fears. The baby may be afraid of loneliness, darkness, or simply feel inexplicable anxiety. If he comes running to you in fear, do not ask: “Who scared you?”, “What were you scared of?” With such questions you only stimulate his imagination. Take his hand and go back to the children's room together. Place your baby in bed, sit him next to him or place a few of his favorite toys: “Let’s put your knight here, he will protect you. Look how brave he is."

Make sure the room is not pitch dark. You can light a night light, but it is better to turn on the light in the corridor so that the light penetrates from under the door. Better yet, just don’t close the door tightly. Then the baby will not feel lonely, cut off from the outside world.

Getting ready for bed... for children over one year old

There's no doubt: a well-planned bedtime routine is the key to good sleep. But such a procedure will not come out of nowhere. A little preparation is needed, and it starts... in the morning.

Step 1: Set your baby up for a good night's sleep...during the day

It will hardly surprise anyone that main reason The biggest battle before bed is kids' need to push boundaries, especially if they're feisty, energetic or stubborn kids. And if a child is very tired during the day, he can become completely wild (disobedient, stubborn and self-willed). (And, of course, in this case we also become more grumpy and intolerant!) This is why bedtime is the most bad time to fight... This problem needs to be solved during the daytime.

First of all, you must follow the obvious rules to keep your child healthy and active:

ensure that the child spends more time in the sun and plays in the fresh air;
feed him healthy food(minimize sugar, avoid caffeine, artificial colors and flavorings and include fiber-rich foods in your diet to avoid constipation);
Make sure that the child sleeps well during the day, but not for too long so that fatigue accumulates in the evening.

In addition to this, you need to build rapport with your child throughout the day so that he naturally I wanted to collaborate with you in the evening. For this purpose, you need to use the “Most happy baby", plus a few more in order to:

allow the child to feel like a winner;
teach him patience;
make him an expert in getting him to sleep through indirect lessons and a special book.

Let your child feel like a winner As I mentioned, our little friends often feel like losers at everything! They are weaker and slower than us, cannot reach high objects, and do not speak as well as everyone else.

That is why your little one loves to splash around in puddles, raising a cloud of splashes, or say “Boo!” and see your frightened expression on your face. And this is another reason why your baby may resist over and over again when you set some boundaries... He might just want to win a few rounds!

But there is also good news. If you play giveaway ten times a day, you will help your baby feel strong, fast and smart... and he will automatically connect with you. In just a few days!

Use the fast food rule and toddler language when your child is upset so he knows you understand and respect his feelings, even if you don't agree with him (see above).
Comment on all the good things your child does. (Caution: Don't overdo it; it's better to give less praise. For example, instead of shouting with joy, calmly say, “Hmm... you collected your toys pretty quickly today.”)
To increase the value of praise and show how much you appreciate certain actions of your baby, “gossip” about what you liked, or use marks on your hands and star maps(see above).
Give your child a choice (“I know you’re having fun, but we really have to leave. Do you want to stay two more minutes or should we leave right now?”).

Train his patience

If you make your baby wait five times a day, and also sometimes do magic breathing, you will help your little caveman become more patient and restrained, which means he will calm down faster before bed.

Make him a bedtime expert

Children hate sermons. They are with much more likely will do what they see rather than what they are told. So, instead of giving a lecture, teach your little one a lesson indirectly.

I've talked about this concept above, but I want to explain it a little more because I think it can be very effective when raising young children. We all jealously guard the “front door” of our minds, rejecting all messages that seem too mentoring to us... and even praise if it is excessive or insincere! Nevertheless, all of us (children and adults) have great confidence in what we manage to overhear - in other words, the information that comes to us indirectly.

Here are three interesting ways to show your child that he needs to be kinder and more compliant, but in an indirect way so that the child does not feel like he is being pressured: “gossiping,” playing with dolls and fairy tales.

“Gossiping” (this method is described above) means having your child overhear you whispering to someone in confidence about his actions that you want to encourage (or, conversely, minimize).

Your child is constantly eavesdropping on your conversations with others, so use this opportunity to convey small messages that will encourage the behavior you want or minimize the behavior you don't like. If you have a confidential conversation with someone five or ten times a day, giving positive or negative rating actions of your child, not even a week will pass before you notice changes! Say something like:

Can you imagine, dad, when it was time for a nap, Rosie came up to me and lay down next to me just three seconds after I called her! So fast! She's clearly growing up!
Can you imagine, grandma, Marnie kissed all her dolls, then hugged the bear, made a couple deep breaths and exhalations, and then very quickly fell asleep.

Another way to indirectly convey messages to your gnome is by playing with dolls.

Playing with dolls (of all kinds) is very simple and fun, and young children are often more inclined to listen to their doll’s advice than to their mother’s!

Your little one will love switching roles while playing with dolls (or stuffed animals). At first, for example, the child may speak for the bear cub (“Ah-ah, ah-ah, I don’t want to go to bed!”), and then you switch roles, and he will pretend to be a mother bear (“Okay, let’s play two more minutes. But then you will need to brush your teeth, okay?”).

Another option for indirect influence is to use fairy tales you have invented. There must be hidden lessons in them. Children love to listen to stories - over and over - and because of this, the hidden messages in them are slowly absorbed, which means you don't have to nag or threaten your child.

So choose a time during the day, sit comfortably somewhere with your baby and tell him a story in which Billy Rabbit (it's better if the characters were animals, not people) tries to quickly put on his pajamas so that he has time to read books, or goes to bed early to have a cool dream about what a superhero he is!

And to make it more fun, you can safely add a couple of funny details to the story to make the fairy tale more memorable. “And then she brushed her teeth... and kissed her pet worm goodnight!”

Make a bedtime book!

Another way to reduce your child's bedtime resistance is to sit down and read his or her personal bedtime book together, every day.

Here's how to make such a book.

Take your child to the store so he can choose stickers himself, and also buy thick colored paper, hole puncher and binder (so you can add and remove sheets as desired). When you get home, work together on the cover of your new book.

Inside the book, on the first and last pages, draw a happy face and write: “Four rules for a happy dream.” Make up your own rules. Below are some good options:

Happy, clean hands.
We brush, brush our teeth.
Great in pajamas!
I feel very comfortable in the crib.

Over the next few days, take photographs: capture them as you buy special bedding; your star map; dinner; games before bed (in dim light); the process of putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, turning on white noise; heart-to-heart conversation before bedtime; prayers; kisses from mom and dad; how you turn off the lights; how your mischievous child sleeps and how he wakes up happy with the birds.

Also take photos of how other family members (including pets) get to bed and sleep. In addition, paste into the book funny sleep-related pictures that you find in magazines, and even your baby’s doodles.

Under each photo or drawing, write small captions, for example:

Maya brushes her teeth.
Dad and Theo reading funny stories...and they're having fun!
Twila's eyes feel good and they close.

Finally, find some pictures of nature. Perhaps you will like the sunlit sky, or the moonlit night, or some sleeping animals...

Read this book with your child throughout the day and ask: “What’s next?” until the child remembers all the actions in in the prescribed manner. From time to time, ask him to help you remember all four rules. If your baby starts looking at his book every day, he will be more flexible in the evening.

Finally, this bedtime book will be another keepsake from your child's early childhood!

Step 2: Develop a Good Bedtime Routine

If you don't already have a routine for getting ready for bed, now is the time to start. Here's where to start.

Rituals before going to bed (30-60 minutes)

To hint to your baby that bedtime is approaching, do the following:

dim the lights in the house;
choose quiet and calm activities (avoid noisy and active games);
turn off the TV;
turn on white noise in the background;
Give your baby medicine if he or she is teething (but check with your doctor first).

Directly going to bed (20-30 minutes) Each family has its own procedure for getting ready for bed. The main thing is to ensure that all rituals are pleasant, calming, consistent and performed with love.

Researchers in Philadelphia found that parents who followed a three-step bedtime routine (bath, massage, and calm cuddling/lullaby singing) saw results after just two weeks. Their children (ages seven months to three years) fell asleep faster... and stayed asleep longer!

And as an additional bonus, at night the toddlers were less likely to call their parents, get out of the crib, or get out of a regular bed.

In addition to baths and massages, there are other effective rituals.

When it's time to go to bed, don't do anything that might cause your baby to resist. For example, instead of asking, “Are you ready to go to bed?”, enthusiastically exclaim, “Okay, that’s it!” It's time to sleep! Signal with a gesture that it's time to go to bed and start counting down before singing the song you usually sing at bedtime. (Come up with a short song or ditty with the words “It’s time to go to bed!” or “It’s time to go to bed!” You can use some familiar melody as a basis: for example, the song “Happy Birthday to You.”)

When you sing, use simple gestures to show that “it’s time to sleep”: for example, you can put two palms together and lower your head on them.

Right before you begin your usual bedtime routine, create a ideal conditions! I suggest the following:

dim the lights;
make sure the room is cool ( ideal temperature 19-22 °C);
warm the bedding (use a heating pad or a bag of wheat grains that is heated in microwave oven, but remove them from the bed when you put the baby there);
use pleasant smell(drop lavender oil on the mattress or at the head);
turn on the small night light;
Hang up a dream catcher* or a photo of mom and dad so they can “protect” your precious baby all night.

All children love to say goodnight to their toys. Prayers, lullabies and bedtime stories are also great bedtime rituals, and a pacifier and a final sip of water will make your way to dreamland a shortcut.

Offer your baby water, or mint tea, or chamomile tea caffeine-free, but avoid giving juices or sugary drinks before bed, which cause tooth decay. Also limit breastfeeding or bottle feeding before bedtime, ending it half an hour before bedtime, because milk and infant formula also introduce bacteria, which then requires treatment for tooth decay.

Favorite things, for example a soft blanket or teddy bear, can be excellent helpers when falling asleep. Consider them stepping stones on the path to maturity and independence. These trusted friends are called "attention carriers" because they give children courage, help them separate from mom and dad and make the transition into the big world.

If your baby doesn't have a favorite, choose something soft and pleasant to the touch that he can carry with him all day. After a few weeks, the baby himself may show interest in this little thing - associating the toy with your tender hugs - and this will mark the beginning of a strong friendship.

Make sure your favorite toy does not have any small loose parts or buttons that could cause a child to choke. And make sure that you have one more item exactly the same in stock - in case the first one gets lost or needs to be washed. Never take your baby's pet away as punishment. This will not make him behave better, but on the contrary, it may cause resentment and insecurity.

And don’t forget about the good old attribute of falling asleep - white noise.

But as your little one's mind becomes more active, you may find that more soft sounds have no effect and you want a sharper noise like the one found on the Happiest Baby CDs. It includes special set sounds, including those that the child heard in the womb or the sound of rain, and combines high hissing sounds and low rumbling sounds.

White noise is better than a teddy bear as an attribute for falling asleep, because it is easy to replace if you lose the disk, and it is easier to wean off it in the future.

Here are some more wonderful ideas for getting ready for bed:

warm bath (in dim light);
massage using coconut oil or cocoa butter (stroke the child’s forehead in the direction from the eyebrows up to the hairline, with each movement slightly opening the eyes... this, on the contrary, will make the baby want to close them);
spray a little “magic spray” in the room - it seems crazy at first glance, but it actually works.

And last but not least, my favorite sleep ritual from the Happiest Baby Method is a heart-to-heart conversation before bed.

Heart-to-heart talk before bed: the power of positive thoughts

One of the greatest rewards of parenting is the opportunity to snuggle with your gnome before he goes to sleep. Soft rocking light massage and humming lullabies - wonderful ways showing him your love at the end of a long, tiring day.

And another wonderful way to end the day is a method called “heart-to-heart conversation before bed.”

In the last minutes before falling asleep, your child’s consciousness is open, he is like a small sponge absorbing your full of love words. Having a heart-to-heart before bed allows you to use this opportunity to fill your naughty boy's mind with gratitude for all the wonderful things that happened today, as well as strengthen his faith in the good things he can do and experience tomorrow.

Here's how to use this method with children aged one year and older:

Lay your baby down and sit next to him.
In a soft and calm tone, list the good deeds and funny situations that happened to him today.
If you put marks on your child's hand, count them and try to remember together why he earned them.
Think about tomorrow and list the events that could happen and the good deeds that the child can do (“I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow you climb to the very top of the slide. And you can also help the teacher collect all the blocks!”).

We have all heard it, and some have already experienced how a child and his behavior changes at the age of 3 (and for some kids, a little earlier). For yesterday's baby, the period of growing up begins, realizing himself separately from his mother, the baby wants to show his independence and independence in everything. For some kids this simply manifests itself in greater emotionality, while others become a real little tyrant - eternal discontent, constant “no”, endless testing of the boundaries of what is permitted and hysterics at the slightest reason.

During this same period, sleep regression often occurs, frequent protests before going to bed, refusal of daytime sleep, night fears, when the baby, even previously sleeping peacefully in his crib, moves to his parents’ bed.

During this period, lack of sleep greatly affects the baby’s behavior and development. But what can you do to help the great, unwilling person at this age sleep peacefully?

Try to save as long as possible nap. At least until the age of 4, a child needs daytime sleep for healthy growth and development. The absence or lack of daytime sleep will certainly affect nighttime sleep. Keep the room as dark, dim and cool as possible to help him sleep. Try to plan your day in such a way that there are no activities during the daytime nap, try to restrain yourself from the temptation to maximize your child’s time with clubs and activities. Remember that it is during daytime sleep that the baby’s brain develops, processes and assimilates information, and develops new skills.

Resist the urge to put your older baby to bed later in the evening, even if he claims that he is not tired, and he will claim exactly that . At this age, children are already perfectly masking the symptoms of fatigue, because playing and being with mom and dad is much more fun than sleeping. But, nevertheless, few children can withstand more than 6-7 hours without sleep without consequences. Optimal time Lights out at this age is 20 hours if there is a daytime nap, and earlier if the baby does not rest during the day. If there is no daytime sleep, try to ensure that the child has time for quiet rest, for example, reading books or drawing.

Reduce activity at least half an hour before bed. Try to avoid watching cartoons and active games, let it be drawing, modeling, puzzles, anything that can hold the baby in place, attract his attention and calm him down. The time before bedtime is very important for the baby, put everything aside and just be with him, then parting for the night will not be so difficult.

Rituals are our everything! Do not under any circumstances give up your bedtime rituals, but modify them as your baby ages and his new interests. Now putting toys to bed is no longer so important, but reading a book, talking about how the day went, hugs and kisses, lullabies never gets boring. You may need to lengthen the ritual a little to give your baby more time to calm down.

Therapeutic tales, which you will tell yourself, will help your child cope with the fear of the dark, loneliness, and disobedience. You can come up with a fairy tale yourself, calling the hero the name of the baby, or you can tell a ready-made one. Such a tale can become a wonderful part of a ritual.

Introduce sleep rules and a reward system. At the age of 3, kids already understand the rules very clearly. Together with your child, draw a poster on which you write how you will spend the time before bed, let him actively participate in the process, make suggestions and color. For example: we brush our teeth, put on pajamas, read a story, hug, turn off the lights, close our eyes and sleep. Hang the poster directly above your bed. Remind your baby of the sleep rules every time before going to bed and reward him when he follows them. The encouragement may not be daily, but, for example, weekly - a trip to the zoo, to the playground, etc. Praise him for following the rules, talk more often about how now he has the strength to play and run more, that he made mom and dad very happy by having a rest. At this age it is very important for children positive assessment their actions and deeds from their parents.

Use your imagination. Often a child at this age needs a choice in order for him to show his independence, so provide it. For example, let him choose his own pajamas or bed linen, a book that you will read before bed, a toy to sleep with. Let the offer to go to bed sound not like an order: “now get into bed!”, but like a proposal, but you will not be discussing the trip to the crib itself, but the choice of accessories: baby, go choose your pajamas to sleep in. Motivate your baby to sleep well by saying that he will be strong, strong, resilient, and will grow up big, like his dad. A good motivation can also be the expectation of something good after sleep: a tasty snack, a walk.

Don't forget about vitamins for sleep. At this age, babies are actively growing, and nutrition, unfortunately, does not always provide the necessary balance of vitamins and minerals. Try to keep the child’s diet varied enough, and if you are in doubt or the baby eats selectively, then consult a doctor; it may well be that the baby will be prescribed a complex of vitamins.

Organize active time. All three-year-olds practically do not walk; their rhythm of life is such that they are ready to run and jump all day long. Try to give your child this opportunity. If the child spends sufficient quantity active time, it will be easier for him to fall asleep in the evening.

Set boundaries. For three-year-olds who are actively exploring the world and trying their hand, they definitely need boundaries of what is permitted. A child of any age feels protected only within limits, and the parent’s task is to be consistent and clear in organizing these limits.

How does this apply to baby's sleep?

When the parents decide to sleep for the baby, not the child. We have already said that at this age children know how to hide their fatigue and expecting them to want to rest is practically useless.

To prevent your baby from asking to repeat any element of the ritual, for example, another glass of milk, another fairy tale, etc., you can use a timer. Set a timer (alarm clock, phone) for the time when you must leave your child's room, and explain the principle to him. There is no use arguing with the timer and it usually works out well.

Be consistent and do not change the rules depending on your mood, fatigue and baby’s behavior.

Be patient, because in fact, children grow very quickly and soon your baby will not need you so much, and you will remember this period of difficulties with a smile.

Did you like the article? Rate:

In the first months after birth, the baby sleeps most of the day. As a rule, there are no problems with falling asleep during this period. The little one wakes up to eat, look at the world a little and falls asleep sweetly again, sucking on his mother’s breast. Gradually, sleep time decreases, and wakefulness time increases accordingly. Most parents of children from 6 months to 2 years (sometimes younger, or on the contrary older) ask questions on women’s forums on the Internet or ask their more experienced friends or grandmothers “How to put a child to sleep without tears, whims and hassle?”

We go to bed without tears and whims

Problems with falling asleep in newborns are not associated with a capricious character, not with the child being spoiled, but with the peculiarities of work nervous system small children. Unlike adults, babies of the first year of life simply do not know how to consciously relax and disconnect from extraneous stimuli at the moment when the body needs rest and it’s time to fall asleep. But if parents act correctly, then tears and whims can be, if not completely avoided, then reduced to a minimum.

How to put your baby to sleep correctly: simple tips for young parents

According to modern pediatricians, babies under one year old should not strictly adhere to the regime. Careful observation of your baby will allow you to understand his biorhythms and correctly organize rest and feeding times. Sleepy child begins to yawn, rubs his eyes, becomes lethargic or moody. If you notice these signs, put them down immediately so as not to miss the moment of falling asleep.
The baby is lucky if the mother breastfeeds on demand: in early childhood Children, having had their fill, easily fall asleep at the breast. Breastfeed for at least a year, so you can put your baby to sleep without crying until the time comes to wean your baby.
It is very important to create a comfortable, relaxing environment for your little one before going to bed. A warm bath is suitable for this (be careful, for some children the bath has a stimulating effect, in this case the child should be bathed 2 hours before bedtime), relaxation massage (many children fall asleep if they are gently stroked on the back or tummy), aromatherapy with lavender oils , nutmeg, sandalwood, jasmine.
Pay attention to the baby's clothes: they should be soft and pleasant to the touch.
Some children are helped to fall asleep by their mother’s lullaby, quiet, relaxing music with the sounds of nature (the murmur of water, the sound of rain).
Rocking in a crib or in your arms helps many babies fall asleep. If your baby is one of these children, you should not neglect this time-tested method (See article).
Don't forget to maintain a comfortable temperature and humidity in your child's room. The best option: 20-22 degrees. Don't wrap your baby up; children don't sleep well if they're hot.
Avoid watching cartoons and noisy games at least an hour before going to bed.
Create a calm and friendly atmosphere in the family. Baby on emotional level perceives a tense situation and reacts painfully to it.

VIDEO: 8 ways to put your baby to sleep

Rituals for falling asleep

Young parents whose children are already 6-7 months old can be advised to develop a system of “sleepy” rituals. 20-30 minutes before bedtime, parents perform the same actions every day, which the little one will soon begin to associate with falling asleep.

It is recommended to include in “sleepy” rituals:

"Farewell to the sun." The baby is picked up, brought to the window and told that the sun, birds and animals have fallen asleep. The stars light up in the sky, which means it’s time for all the kids to go to bed. After these words, the curtains are drawn, the lights are turned off, and the baby is put to bed.
Reading books (looking at pictures with children under one year old) before bed.
Putting your favorite toy to bed.
Singing a lullaby.
You can start a tradition of telling your baby every evening in a calm voice about how the day went, how your baby is tired and will now fall asleep, etc.
A similar method is 3-4 daily repeated phrases like: “Our little angel is tired. Mommy and daddy are nearby. Now we will sleep soundly."

"Sleepy" rituals during the right approach make the parents' work easier, the little ones quickly begin to understand the meaning of these actions and go to bed without any problems. The exception is when the baby is unwell ( elevated temperature, teething, etc.).

Video:

According to somnologists (specialists in the field of sleep), a child must be taught to fall asleep on his own in the same way as you teach him to eat, wash, and dress independently. Special techniques have been developed, using which parents will be able to put their child to sleep without tears and hysterics.

The techniques are applied to children 9-15 months old and are aimed at changing associations for falling asleep. If the baby is breastfed and the mother is breastfed, then the child has a stable idea: SLEEP = FOOD. The goal of these techniques is to break (change) this association by spreading out feeding and sleeping time. Let's look at the most popular ones.

Timer Method (by Tracey Hogg)

Before going to bed, the baby is given a tasty meal. After this, the little one is shown a timer and told that the milk will run out when the bell rings. The timer is set for 10 minutes. When the bell rings, the baby is weaned and kind words put to bed. The baby will probably cry and demand the breast for 20-40 minutes. Be patient. Calm the child down. Put him in bed and stroke his back until the baby falls asleep.
For several days in a row, the timer is set to 10 minutes. Whims cannot be avoided, but on the 3-4th day the babies let go of the breast and fall asleep when the bell rings.
For the next 3-4 days, the timer is set to 4 minutes. During feeding, the mother reads familiar nursery rhymes or a fairy tale to the little one. After the bell rings, the child is weaned and reading continues for another 5-10 minutes. After which the baby is put to bed. So gradually one habit is replaced by another.
After another 3-4 days, feeding is canceled for daytime naps. Instead of breastfeeding, the baby is read a book. And on last stage evening feeding is removed.

Fading method

The longest and gentlest way to wean a child from falling asleep with the breast. Training may take 1.5-2 months.

Its essence is that the mother does not deny the child suckling at the breast before bed, but tries to interest the little one an interesting book, conversation. Sometimes the baby will be able to fall asleep without sucking, and this is already the first success. So gradually the mother finds other ways to calm down (rituals) for the baby, he will be able to fall asleep without the breast more and more often, and finally, the baby will begin to fall asleep without the baby.

At the next stage, night feedings are gradually eliminated (): instead of the breast, the baby, of course, does not need to read books at night, just pat him on the back, give him a drink of water or say the traditional phrase: “Mom is nearby - sleep well”. Over time, the little one, waking up at night, will stop looking for the breast, and the number of awakenings will decrease.

On topic: and another important article: why a child under one year old does not sleep well at night:

Note to moms!

Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me too, and I’ll also write about it))) But there’s nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too...

Explanation method

This method is practiced with children one and a half to two years old.

It is suitable for both infants and artificial babies.

They invent for the baby simple story, for what reason there will be no milk at night (the cow will not bring any more milk at night, because... or “sisi” is running out of milk, there is only one time left).

This story is told to the little one 10-15 times during the day. During evening feeding, the child is given the breast (milk from a bottle) for the last time and is reminded once again that there will be no milk at night, because... After this, the child is not given a bottle or breast at all. This way it stops breast-feeding(details about), and the association SLEEP = FOOD replaced by other rituals.

This method takes from 3 days to a week to implement.

Logout-login method

In my opinion, this is the most painful method for a child.

The essence of the technique is that the mother puts the child to bed and, without waiting for the baby to fall asleep, leaves the room for 5-7 minutes. If during this time the child does not calm down, the mother returns, calms the baby and leaves again, giving the baby the opportunity to fall asleep on his own.

Soon (this method takes about 7-12 days), the little one should understand that he will have to fall asleep on his own.

And in conclusion, it must be said: in order to put a child to sleep without tears, you first need to focus on individual characteristics character and temperament of the baby.

The baby spends most of the day sleeping in the first months after birth. However, as the baby grows up, his sleep time is significantly reduced, and the period of wakefulness increases. And then problems with sleep appear. After all, if newborn babies easily fall asleep, sweetly sucking on their mother’s breast, then the process of putting six-month-old babies and older children to sleep very often turns into a real test. Today we will talk about how to properly put your baby to sleep during the day or at night, and also consider useful literature for parents.

How to quickly put your child to sleep: some effective tips

Many parents are convinced that problems with falling asleep arise from the spoiled and capricious nature of the baby. However, modern pediatricians insist that difficulties with falling asleep in young children are associated with the characteristics of the nervous system. The fact is that children, unlike adults, cannot yet quickly switch from one activity to another. Therefore, when it comes time to sleep, they are unable to quickly and consciously abstract from external stimuli, calm down, relax and fall asleep.

Parents can help small child fall asleep without tears and hysterics, creating the most comfortable sleeping conditions for your baby. Pediatricians advise:

Provide in the room where the child sleeps, optimal temperature(+20 + 22ºС) and air humidity (40-50%).
Create a comfortable, relaxing environment for your child before bed. It could be swimming in warm water or a relaxing massage.

REFERENCE! For some children water procedures They have a stimulating effect, so it is best to bathe these babies 2 hours before bedtime.

Choose clothes for sleeping made from fabrics that are soft and pleasant to the touch.
Avoid noisy games and watching cartoons before bed.
Take care to create a friendly and calm atmosphere in the family. Children, on a subconscious level, react very emotionally to screams and quarrels, so a tense situation in the family can become the main irritating factor that will not allow the baby to fall asleep on time.

How to put a baby to sleep

Healthy sleep for infants very important because it contributes good rest crumbs and charges him with the energy necessary for his normal physical and mental development. Therefore, every mother should make sure that the child has adequate daytime and night sleep.

Pediatricians note that babies who feed breast milk, easily and quickly fall asleep during feeding. But for infants who are on artificial feeding, may help you sleep dummy.

If, after finishing feeding, the child begins to cry, be capricious and cannot fall asleep, you should pay attention to his physical condition. After all, the cause of this behavior may be colic in the intestines, elevated body temperature or a dirty diaper. Singing will help your baby fall asleep lullaby song and mild motion sickness.

ATTENTION! If your baby can fall asleep without being rocked to sleep in your arms, don't teach him to do so. Just sit next to his crib, stroke his tummy or hold his hand, and then your child will calm down and quickly fall asleep.

How to put your baby to sleep at 1 year old

Dream one year old child Usually it is 13-14.5 hours a day, with 11-12 hours falling at night. One-year-old children are very different from infants: they no longer just sit in a stroller or crib, but actively explore the world, play with toys and have fun. During the day they experience a lot of different emotions, so putting little fidgets to sleep can be very difficult.

To make falling asleep easier one-year-old babies, psychologists recommend that parents develop special “sleep” rituals and repeat them daily. This May be:

stroking the baby's back or tummy;
reading a fairy tale;
singing a lullaby;
putting your favorite toy to bed.

How to put a 2 year old child to sleep

Every year the child grows, and his sleep acquires new features. And although the normal amount of sleep for a two-year-old child is still at least 11 hours a day, already at this stage many children refuse daytime sleep.

Lay 2 year old child It can be very difficult to sleep at night, so to make the process of falling asleep easier, psychologists recommend that parents follow a few simple rules.

How to get a 3 year old to sleep

Despite the fact that many three-year-old children already go to kindergarten, where a daily routine has been clearly developed, they still have problems with night sleep. Typically, the cause of tears before falling asleep in children three years of age and older is irritant(eg high temperature).

Psychologists highlight three basic rules, which will help parents calmly put their three-year-old baby to sleep.

How to teach your child to sleep in his own bed and why it is important

Many parents often have a question about where their child should sleep - in the parent’s bed or in a separate crib. And although there is no clear answer to this question, modern pediatricians and psychologists name a number of reasons why co-sleeping between mother and child is not permissible.

Firstly, while the baby sleeps in the parent's bed, there is a risk of suffocation of the baby.
Secondly, sleeping together leaves its mark on intimate relationships married couple, against the background of which conflicts and quarrels arise in the family.
Thirdly, the sleep of mom and dad in the same bed with the baby is often sensitive and superficial and is the main cause of fatigue and lack of sleep for parents.

REFERENCE! If you are thinking about having a second child, make sure to teach your firstborn to sleep separately before his brother or sister is born.

Getting your baby to sleep in his own crib is not an easy task. To alleviate it, psychologists recommend that parents be guided by the following principles and methods.

Gradualism.

It takes time to form new sleep habits in your baby. If the child flatly refuses to sleep separately from his mother, remove the side wall of his crib. Move the crib next to your bed so that your child’s bed seems like an extension of yours. This will create the illusion for the baby that he is next to his mother. Then, when the baby gets used to it, gradually, day after day, move the crib a few centimeters from the parent's bed. When the habit of sleeping separately from the parents is finally formed in the baby, the crib can be moved to a separate room.

New crib.

Children two to three years old like new and beautiful things. So buy your son or daughter a new crib and explain that it is the best. And then your child will be happy to fall asleep separately from his parents.

Important! When you teach your baby to sleep in his crib at a conscious age (after a year), be prepared for the fact that he will wake up at night and be capricious for a long time. In this situation, the main thing is not to give up your position and explain to the baby that his mother did not abandon him and is nearby.

"Good friends."

To make sure your baby is not afraid to fall asleep alone, put his favorite toys in the crib.

REFERENCE! It is not at all necessary to force your child to go to bed with soft toys. Allow him to take his favorite car or doll into his bed, and then he will fall asleep much faster.

TOhow to put a baby to sleep: books for parents

Today, on the Internet and bookstore shelves, you can find a lot of literature that outlines the secrets of quick styling and good sleep kids of different ages. Among the most popular options are books by Elizabeth Pantley and Svetlana Bernard.

Elizabeth Pantley, How to Put Your Baby to Sleep Without Crying

The book by Elizabeth Pantley, a mother of four children, was created specifically for those parents who want their baby to learn to fall asleep without crying and sleep peacefully throughout the night. Because Elizabeth Pantley is not a doctor, the book was written accessible language and does not contain complex scientific and medical terms. In his book, E. Pantley offers a 10-element program and new effective methods calming the baby before bed and during night awakenings. The author teaches his readers to analyze, evaluate and change their child’s habits, and also allows them to take a fresh look at the problem of sleep.

Svetlana Bernard “100” simple ways put the baby to bed"

The book “100 Simple Ways to Put Your Baby to Sleep” is a real find for those parents who are faced with sleep problems in their child. Being a mother of three children, Svetlana Bernard shares her experience and the experience of other people in the book, revealing the secrets of falling asleep for babies of different ages. Written in simple and understandable language, the book contains many interesting and sometimes funny stories from life, as well as new and unusual ways putting the child to bed, which is practiced by many parents abroad.

Useful video

Looking for the secret to putting your baby to sleep in 5 minutes? Find out the methods falling asleep quickly baby after watching the video:

What to do if a child at the age of three does not want to go to bed, is capricious, and does not let his mother go? How to put him to bed and how to help him fall asleep? Let's try to figure this out.

Does your child not want to fall asleep at 9 pm? So, it's time to take advantage of our advice.

How to put a 3 year old child to sleep

In order for a child to fall asleep at the right time without a fight, it is necessary to accustom him to a routine. You need to start preparing your baby for bedtime in the morning. He should wake up no later than seven o'clock, after which he should have a hearty breakfast and go for a walk. An evening walk before bed is also a must. If it passes 2-3 hours before bedtime, play active games with your baby.

Dinner should be no later than 19 pm. In this case, the diet should include exclusively healthy food: nothing meaty or sweet. After dinner, you should not allow your child to play actively: it is better to teach a poem with him or read a book.

Going to bed should be a a real ritual. At approximately 8 pm, the child should take a bath, brush his teeth, and put on pajamas. After that give him warm milk with honey, put him to bed and read a fairy tale. If you do everything consistently and follow the routine exactly, your baby will not have problems going to bed.
If you want to teach your 3-year-old child to fall asleep on his own, but don’t know how, you can also use our recommendations.
First of all, don’t think that your child will start falling asleep on his own overnight or within a week. To form this habit, consistency is necessary. The bedtime ritual, which we already wrote about above, will also help here. But you need to add a kiss or something else to it, after which you can turn off the light and wish the baby: “Good night!”
So that your child is not afraid to fall asleep on his own, allow him to take his favorite toy with him to bed. You can even say that his favorite dog or teddy bear has already fallen asleep and is now waiting for the baby to join them too.
If the child cannot fall asleep, cries and calls you, sit with him for a while, say goodnight again, tell him that everyone has been sleeping for a long time and is waiting for him to fall asleep too.
Of course, this situation may persist for several weeks. It takes patience. You may find it helpful to have a night light on that can be turned off when your child falls asleep. Either way, your patience will be rewarded.

What to do if a 3-year-old child takes a long time to fall asleep

If a three-year-old child takes a very long time and has difficulty falling asleep, create an environment in his room that is conducive to sleep. To do this, you need to ventilate the room, close the curtains, turn off the lights and turn on the night light. About an hour before bed, play quiet game with the baby. For example, you can assemble a puzzle and a pyramid of cubes. After this, bathe the child in a bath with lavender or sea salt, read him a story, and then put him to bed. Sit next to him and sing him a lullaby.
It is important that the child goes to bed at exactly the same time, even if he does not rub his eyes or ask to go to bed. Be patient, repeat your daily bedtime ritual, and you will definitely achieve success.