How to make a decision and not doubt. How to make the right decision

How to make the right decision

What you need to know before making a decision, what questions to ask and what to guide your decision-making

Most people are afraid, do not know or do not know how (do not understand) how to approach and make a decision.

And if you divide decision making into stages (steps). What steps are important to make the most correct, final decision?

I’ll talk about these steps below, but first, what to pay attention to when making decisions.

It often happens that before making a decision, a person does not really know what he wants or which option is better for him to choose.

And here it is important that you do not just analyze, but put aside logic for a while and pay attention to yourself, to feel whether this is really pleasant for you, whether it will be a pleasure for you to do this for a long time. And we do not focus here only on results, money and benefits. Just listen to your inner voice, sometimes a hint may not come right away, and here it is better not to put pressure on yourself, but to hatch the answer, trust your intuition.

You can also ask yourself a couple of questions: “What does my mind tell me?” and answer out loud quickly, without thinking, and then ask: “What does my intuition (my soul) tell me?”, and look very carefully at the very first thoughts that came to your head, most often they are the most correct. Observe yourself, how they make you feel, and whether there is anything inspiring about them.

I consider this the main advice and in most cases, this is all that is needed to make the right decision.

Do you know what a famous and successful person said about this:

Feel free to follow your heart and intuition, somehow they already know who you really want to become

Steve Jobs

And it often happens that the situations themselves do not tolerate reasoning from us, we just need to do something and that’s all. For example, if you are single, an opportunity has presented itself and you feel that you sincerely want to get to know each other, then you shouldn’t go into all this “What would happen if...”, listen to your heart and just follow it - take some action in response to all doubts - “come what may.”

5 questions in decision making

Very often we doubt whether I really need this and why. And especially if the decision affects the global and long-term perspective. Here I still recommend listening more to your inner voice, but you can ask yourself 5 guiding questions.

First question- "Do I want this, X Do I want to do this, do I want to have this, do I want to become someone?"We answer ourselves honestly" YES" or " NO".

When you have determined and answered yourself: “YES”, this is exactly what I want to do, move on to the next question, - " If I do this, if I become someone and achieve this, will I be in harmony with myself, with the Universe, or for those who believe, in harmony with God?"

If you answered “YES” to yourself, then ask yourself the following question: "If I do this, if I become someone, then will bring closer is this me to my goal, my dream ?"

If your answer is "YES", then ask yourself another question - " If I do this, have this, if I become something, will that violate human rights?"

If your answer is "NO", then move on to the last question - " If I achieve my goal, will I make myself and anyone else better?” This question may be the easiest to answer.

And having answered your questions and made up your mind, you need to start taking action. Right now, at this second, start taking action to change something in your life. To become successful, independent and finally achieve what you so desire. Don’t put it off until later by telling yourself - “That’s it, yes, I’ve decided, I’ll start acting tomorrow”, or “I’ll think again and then I’ll finally decide whether I need it or not.”- believe me, friends, you are unlikely to decide and start something.

And if you try later, as a rule, it’s just another attempt and nothing more. Do straightaway even the smallest step is important your first step, the START is important.

For example, the first step is the need to collect useful information, find out what and how. The more detailed you know, the easier it is to make decisions and you will move faster and more confidently.

Just worry and don't move

Don’t delay making final decisions if you already feel that this is yours, you are hungry for change and you need it, and don’t worry too much now about how you will be and when, what will come - these are not the right questions now, gradually everything will come itself. Your main goal now is to make a decision.

If you are delaying making a decision, it means you have already made a decision - to leave everything as is.

Remember that Doubts will still remain and you should not get rid of them in any way. It’s normal to experience, because no one can predict success and know exactly how everything will go, you can only, to a greater or lesser extent, believe depending on experience and conditions.

And as soon as you make your final decision and start taking the first steps
, all these “HOWs” - they will come to you. You will find or meet the right people, and the right situations will begin to arise around you. You will begin to attract them to you, this is some kind of amazing phenomenon, but I was convinced myself that it works, like a relationship with the universe.

By the way, think carefully and remember when you started to think about something and do something, no matter what, when suddenly, immediately or after some time, something like this began to happen - the right people met or you found yourself in that place and at that time, or the necessary information came across.

So, The main thing - decide.

Don't rely on decision making from what you have today, think what you want, strive for it and make your decision based on it. The fear of failure is always stronger than the possibility of change, we are much more afraid of losing something than the desire to try to gain something, but if you are guided only by, you will not go far.

And all other questions, such as “Will I be able to do this?”, “Am I doing it right?” “What if it doesn’t work out?” - All these questions are not questions of a person who wants more from life. They should be given attention only for a quick assessment of the reality of what is being done, in order to correct the course and nothing more.

Almost each of you has been in a situation where, having made some decision and started doing something, after a while, maybe quickly, maybe later, you understand - it was necessary differently.

If you do not accept for yourself that there is no and will not be a 100% correct decision, if you are afraid and based on the fear of error, you will never achieve what you dream of. The trick is that You either do it or you don’t and there is no other option.. Except an even worse option is to be in a wait-and-see state all the time just thinking and dreaming about something, waiting 100% given an opportunity in the hope that such an opportunity will come, do nothing, and all the time be in a state of dissatisfaction with yourself and your life.

“Any plan of action has its own price and risk. But they are much less than the price and risk of doing nothing comfortably.”

John F. Kennedy

What prevents you from making better decisions?

We are in different states at different times depending on some external or internal factors and as a result, no matter how smart you are, our consciousness perceives the situation differently. And when making some decision, you were unable to make the right choice That's why that at that time there were not in the right condition, you may have been depressed, anxious and overworked, and you simply lacked your potential.

In another case, when you almost immediately understand what led to the wrong decision, it’s not because you made a conscious wrong decision, it’s not the case that “ consciousness was not enough", but because I failed to restrain myself, to control myself, throwing away my emotions (most often this happens, and this is the saddest thing).

Very often we are blinded by emotions, which cause us to miss important nuances in making a particular choice and which may later turn out to be decisive. Therefore, always before making an important decision, calm down, the best way to do this is to observe your breathing for 5-8 slow, calm inhalations and exhalations, and if you are too excited, then postpone the decision for a while, let your brain calm down and clear up.

What to guide your decisions (choice of actions)

Be guided by principles in your decision

When making decisions, always remember and be guided by your main principles and sincere desires. For example, if you want to start a business, then you need to take into account that it will not be an easy walk, but hard work. Are you ready to sacrifice your comfort, personal time and time for your family? And what is this all for?

Maybe you will understand that family, comfort and peace are what you are striving for, and earning a lot of money can take away a lot of this from you. Some people, when they start chasing money, forget about their main values, why they started doing this in the first place.

If you still feel that this matter or something else is necessary for you, then go ahead and be bolder.

Concentrate on the main thing

When you have already decided everything, started to act and determine the direction every day, decide what to do now, always be guided by priority main action, ask yourself - “What is the best thing right now, at this moment, I can do in order to get closer to my goal?”

And having decided on specific actions - you try to do it without delay.. Just don't drag it out too long.

How to make a decision. Motivation

And for your support and motivation, I highly recommend keeping a diary, it’s really important.

How do we make a diary? In a new notebook we write, first the questions, then we answer - " Why do I need this??", "What will this give me?", " How confident will I become?", "How will I feel about this??", "How will I live with this??", "What opportunities will this give me?"Describe everything vividly, in colorful images, imagining it as if you have already achieved success and are now experiencing these sensations.

And every day you should start by reading your diary, with this strongest motivation. You perform actions in a different mood, and with each subsequent day this mood will become better.

In 95% of cases you will not believe what you write. Why is that? Because it’s all about the (attitudes) that are embedded inside us, in our subconscious. And if we don't change these attitudes, we are doomed to failure. In order to reprogram, change these programs, you will write this diary. When you put your thoughts on paper, your brain perceives everything differently than when it happens in your head.

But the best thing is if you also find a like-minded person who will share your vision and your goals. And sharing your thoughts with him, or even reading them out loud. Everything will begin to boil inside you, you will seem to be divided in two. One part will say-" You can not ", another" You will succeed "And most importantly, with such repetition and discipline you program your subconscious, change your unsuccessful attitudes.

There are other ways of programming, but that's in other articles. Why others? It’s simple - some of us perceive everything visually, others perceive audio information, or we need both together. All this can be easily felt if you just listen to yourself. In the meantime, I recommend learning a little more about with it, it can dramatically change your life in general.

And one moment, every person along the way has days when everything falls out of hand, there is no mood, the state of health, to put it mildly, is not working and you need to continue doing something, but things are not going well at all. Write down your most cherished goal on a card that you will always carry with you. And when you need to act, but you’re not in the mood, take out your card and ask yourself, “Why and why do you need all this?” And answer this question honestly. Your answer will motivate you to action and only actions will lead you to your goal.

Finally, how to make a decision:

And always remember, each of us is a unique person, with his own weaknesses, but also his own strengths. And each of us has the right to be who we want!

Good luck in making the right decisions and energy for action! !

Sincerely, Andrey Russkikh

Be sure to check it out! How to make your dream come true

Today I will tell you what methods will allow you make the right decision and learn to make decisions in general. This article will be based not only on my experience, but also on the decision-making methodology outlined in the famous book by Chip Heath and Dean Heath - “. This technique helps you make effective choices in business, in your career and in education. Here I will outline the main points of this technique, and also talk about what helps me personally in finding the right solutions.

Method 1 – Avoid “narrow frames”

Often we fall into the trap of “narrow frames”, when our thinking reduces the whole variety of possible solutions to a problem into only two options: “yes or no”, “to be or not to be”. “Should I divorce my husband or not?” “Should I buy this particular expensive car or take the subway?” “Should I go to the party or stay home?”

When we choose only between “Yes or No,” in fact, we are stuck with only one alternative (eg, breaking up with our husband, making a purchase) and ignoring the others. But maybe there are other options in your relationship besides breaking up with your partner and returning to the status quo. For example, try, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.

If you decide not to buy an expensive car on credit, that doesn't mean your only remaining alternative will be tedious subway rides. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But perhaps the most correct choice will lie in a different plane of decisions. Maybe it will be more convenient and profitable to rent housing closer to work. Or change your job to one less distant from home.

An alternative to choosing between different breeds of cats or dogs may be for you to go to a kennel and choose the stray pet that you like best.

This seems like an obvious tactic for thinking about choices, but yet many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to a “Yes” or “No” dichotomy. We instinctively strive for this because it is much easier to view the problem only in black and white, rather than in all its diversity. But it turns out that with this approach we only create difficulties for ourselves.

We also often try to consider a choice between two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we don’t notice that both of these extremes can be realized simultaneously and, in fact, it is not at all necessary to choose one of them.

Method 2 – Expand your selection

This method is a development of the previous method. Many of us are familiar with situations when we want to make an important purchase, for example, buying an apartment. We arrive at the first apartment, and we are fascinated by its appearance, and the realtor offers “favorable” terms of the transaction and thereby provokes us to make a quick decision. And we are no longer thinking about “which apartment to choose,” but about “whether to buy this particular apartment or not to buy.”

Do not hurry. It's better to look at five apartments instead of purchasing the first one you come across. Firstly, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. Perhaps there are better proposals. Secondly, the time you spend examining the remaining offers will “cool down” your immediate emotions. And momentary emotions always interfere with the right choice. While you are under their influence, you may overlook some obvious shortcomings of the apartments you like, but as time passes, you will be able to see the whole picture more clearly.

We become too attached to the goal to which our thinking is initially tuned. And this creates strong inertia in decision making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and we ignore what contradicts it. For example, you have wanted to enter a certain university since school. A few years later you failed the entrance exams. And now you’re thinking about preparing hard and trying your luck again in a year. You reject all your friends’ arguments in favor of choosing another university, because you are used to thinking that your choice is the best.

But what if in the few years it took you to graduate, the situation has changed and the university you want to go to is no longer the same? Suddenly new promising educational institutions appeared? Don't get too attached to your choice and do some comparative analysis. Expand your choice! Check out the curriculum and faculty at other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?

The auxiliary method of “disappearance of options” will help you become less attached to one alternative.

Variant disappearance method

Imagine that the alternative you have chosen cannot be chosen for some reason. For example, let’s say the university you want to enroll in has been closed. Now think about what you would do if this really happened. And start doing it. You'd probably start looking at other options, and perhaps in the process you'd discover how many great options you've missed out on because you were fixated on one alternative.

Method 3 – Get as much information as possible

The authors, Chip and Dean Heath, are surprised that it is common practice for many people to read reviews before buying electronic equipment, booking hotels or choosing hair salons. But at the same time, when it comes to choosing a job or university, fewer people use this wonderful practice, which helps to obtain a lot of valuable information.

Before making a decision about employment in a particular company, you can study the reviews of people who worked in it. This is better than relying only on the information that HR and your future boss provide you.

The Heath brothers suggest asking one interview question to do this.

“Who worked in this position before me? What is his name and how can I contact him?

There is nothing wrong with trying to get information first hand. When I learned about this practice, I was surprised that despite the obvious benefits of this approach, it had never occurred to me to use it during my job search!

You may not always be given contact information for these people. In this case, it will help you to get information practice of leading questions.

This practice is good because it allows you to get information from someone who is reluctant to share it.

During the interview:

Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you may be promised bright prospects and good working conditions), ask more direct questions:

“How many people have left this position in the last three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?"
Asking this question will help you get more reliable information about future work.

In the shop:

One study found that when sales consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, were asked, “Tell me something about this model of iPod,” only 8% of them reported problems with it. But when they had to answer the question: “What problems does he have?” 90% of all managers were honest about the shortcomings of this model.

Method 4 – Get rid of momentary emotions

As I wrote above, instant emotions can greatly interfere with decision making. They make you lose sight of something important and focus on little things that later turn out to be insignificant.

Many of us are faced with the painful results of impulsive and unconscious choices, realizing that at the time of making the decision, we were blinded by emotions and did not see the full picture.

This may concern a quick marriage or impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.

The first way to get rid of emotions is 10/10/10

This method allows you to move beyond the narrow perspective that momentary impulses establish. It consists of asking yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
• And in 10 months?
• What will happen in 10 years?

For example, you fell in love with another man and want to leave your children and leave your husband. If you make this decision, what will you think about it 10 minutes from now? The euphoria of love and new life will probably rage within you! Of course, you won't regret your decision.

But after 10 months, passion and love will subside (this always happens) and perhaps, when the veil of euphoria that has obscured your vision disappears, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, a bitter feeling of losing something dear will begin to appear. You may discover that what you used to take for granted was actually an advantage of your previous relationship. And this is no longer the case in your new relationship.

It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after the heat of love has passed, you will realize that you have come to the same thing from which you were running.

Of course, I'm not saying that this will happen for everyone. For many relationships, divorce is the best solution. But, nevertheless, I am sure that many divorces occur impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it’s better to weigh everything carefully and distance yourself from the obsession of euphoria in anticipation of change.

The second way to get rid of emotions is to breathe.

Before making any important choice, give yourself a short time out. Take 10 calm, full and slow inhalations and exhalations of equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts inhale – 6 slow counts exhale. And so 10 cycles.

This will calm you down and cool down your ardor. Well, do you still want to order this expensive trinket you don’t need, just because you saw the same one from a colleague?

This method can be combined with the previous one. Breathe first and then apply 10/10/10.

The third way to get rid of emotions is “Ideal Me”

I came up with this method when I couldn’t make one decision. And he helped me a lot (I wrote about him in more detail in the article ““). Think about what your “ideal self” would do or what the ideal scenario would be like given the existing limitations. For example, you are thinking whether to go out drinking today or stay home with your wife and children. Many factors will compete with each other in making a decision: a sense of duty and a momentary desire to drink, caring for children and health with the need to have fun.

What to do? Think about what would be the ideal option. Just stay realistic. I understand that ideally you would like to split into two, so that one part of you stays at home, and the other part is having a blast at the party, while alcohol would not cause any harm to it and a hangover the next day. But that doesn't happen. Given the given restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home because last week you promised yourself to drink less often. You realize that your wife rarely sees you and if you don't go to the party, you'll feel better the next day.

You don't have to think about what you want more. Because, Just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. Desires are fickle and fleeting. Now you want one thing. But tomorrow you may regret that you indulged your instant desire. Think about which option would be correct. What would an ideal husband do?

The fourth way to get rid of emotions - What would you advise a friend?

Imagine that you want to change your job to a more comfortable and highly paid one, but you are afraid of change, afraid of being disappointed, don’t want to let your colleagues down, and worry about what your boss will think of you when you leave. Because of this, you just can’t decide to do it.

But what if this choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What advice would you give him? Surely, if he shared with you his concerns about disappointments and the boss’s opinion, you would answer him: “Stop thinking about all this nonsense! Do what's best for you."

Surely many of you have noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends on how to solve certain situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about another person's decision, we look only at the essentials. But when it comes to ourselves, a bunch of little things immediately pop up to which we attach exaggerated importance. So, to get rid of the influence of these unimportant things on your decision, think about what you would advise your friend if he found himself in a similar situation.

The fifth way to get rid of emotions is just wait.

Remember, a quick decision is often a bad decision because it can be made under the influence of emotions. You don't have to listen to impulsive desires every time. In some cases, it makes sense to simply wait and not make a spontaneous choice. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, are quite intense and can be difficult to cope with. On the other hand, they are fleeting and you just have to wait a while and this desire will disappear. You will realize that what seemed like a basic necessity a couple of hours ago, you actually don’t need.

Personally, I like to let some decision “mature” in my head, give it time, provided that I am in no hurry. This doesn't mean I think about him all the time. I can be busy doing something, and suddenly a decision appears on its own. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but am in no hurry to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.

Over the course of a few days, details may pop up in my head that could change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was the right thought, only now will I be sure of it.

The sixth way to get rid of emotions is to stay focused.

This method is suitable in situations where you need to make quick decisions while under psychological pressure, for example, during an interview.

As a poker fan, I know how important it is to stay focused so as not to give in to immediate emotions. Poker is fundamentally a game of decision making. I have noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far from the game between hands, I make irrational and emotional actions when it is my turn to bet. But if I am focused on the game, even when I am not in the hand, for example, just watching my opponents, this allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around me and myself, think only about the game and not let unnecessary thoughts and emotions into brain.

Therefore, during an interview, for example, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything they tell you. Don’t let extraneous thoughts enter your head, like: “What did they think of me?”, “Did I say too much?” Think about it later. But for now, be here now. This will help you make the right choices.

Method 10 – When not to use all these methods

If you look at all these methods, it seems that decision making is a very complex process. In fact, these methods are designed to help you make choices in which each alternative is defined by a set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no shortcomings? What if you have nothing to lose if you choose one option?

Then forget about all these tips, act and see what happens.

For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are single and are just looking for a mate. Stop going over the pros and cons in your head. You won't lose anything if you come up and get to know each other. This is an absolutely simple solution.

Such situations are the exception. The more you think about them and weigh decisions, the more uncertainty grows and the chances of missing an opportunity grow. Therefore, where the choice does not cost you anything, think less and act!

Conclusion – A little about intuition

The methods I've talked about are attempts to formalize decision making. Give precision and clarity to this process. But I don’t want to downplay the role of intuition.

These methods should not confuse you, instilling in you the illusory confidence that any decisions are amenable to reason and dry analysis. This is wrong. Often the choice is characterized by a lack of complete information and you will have to come to terms with the fact that in many situations it is impossible to know in advance with 100% certainty which decision will be better. Sometimes you just need to choose something, and then it will be clear whether you made the right choice or not.

Therefore, you need to use intuition, instead of waiting until your methods give you an unambiguous forecast of the correctness of this or that alternative. But at the same time, one cannot overestimate its role and rely too much on one’s “guts.” For this purpose, there is a formalized approach, which is designed to adjust the balance between your mind and feelings, logic and intuition. Finding the right balance between these things is the art of decision making!

A person’s entire life consists of a series of decisions made – big and small. The whole future life depends on some of them. Many people have difficulty when faced with making a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process more effective, and what methods can be used to do this.

Every day life presents us with a choice, presenting us with various tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? Which phone should I buy? Where to go on vacation during your vacation? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Should I quit my job or stay? There are decisions that don’t really affect anything, but there are those that radically change your life.

All people behave differently when making decisions. There is a category of people who are called “don’t care”. They are never tormented by choice, because they give preference to the first or simplest option. They put on the clothes that are the first to be taken out of the closet, go on a date with the first person to invite them, take the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t It's worth the effort.

Another category of people is guided by intuition when making important decisions. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not very many such people.

The majority of people are individuals who have difficulty making choices. They suffer, doubt, weigh every option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you belong to the category of such people and do not know how to make a decision when in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn several methods that make the selection process easier.

Method 1. “Descartes Square”

The essence of the method is to consider the problem facing you from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. Write one of the questions in each part:

1. What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
2. What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
3. What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
4. What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?

Think and write the answer to the question in each square. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and refusing to implement it, you can understand which decision is best for you to make.

If you don’t know what to do in a particular situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Popular wisdom says that every person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides him on the right path. The Guardian Angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through a loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.

Method 3. “Expanding the framework”

The problem with most people is that they force themselves into narrow boundaries and do not see alternatives. They tend to get caught up in the “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to take out a car loan. You see only two options: take a car loan or continue using public transport.

By expanding your choice, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse the loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and avoid using public transport; you can even change your job by getting a job in another company located close to your home; You can negotiate with one of your colleagues to give you a ride to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.

Method 4. “Disappearance of options”

Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to get a job with has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other, no less interesting options for a relatively new job that you have not seen before because you were fixated on one.

Method 5. “Glass of water”

The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, founder of the Silva Method, author of books on unconventional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour clean, unboiled water into a glass. Take the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that worries you and clearly formulate the question that requires a decision. Then, slowly, drink half the glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”

Place a glass with the remaining water near your bed and go to bed. First thing in the morning after waking up, drink some water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.

Method 6. “Delay”

If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you're excited and your brain is overloaded with information, it's very difficult to make the right choices. Remember how often you made the wrong decision in a hurry and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, and once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require instant decision making, so don’t be afraid to put it off for a while.

Method 7. “Own the information”

Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to choose. When it comes to purchasing a product, read reviews about it on the Internet. When deciding to change jobs, learn everything about the position you will be taking and the people who worked there before you. If possible, track down these people to get first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.

The more important the decision you make, the more responsible you should be in finding the information you need. This way you will protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.

Method 8. “Drop your emotions”

Emotions greatly interfere with making the right decision because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally agitated person is unable to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, malice, as well as intense joy and euphoria are bad advisers in decision making.

If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. This way you will protect yourself from rash actions and their consequences.

How to get rid of emotions?

Even when you realize that emotions are preventing you from making the right choices, you can't always get rid of them. To make this process easier, use simple methods.

10/10/10

This method allows you to put aside immediate impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?

Let's say you want to take out an expensive car on credit. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? You will probably be euphoric, rejoicing at your purchase. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden and will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and requires repairs, or maybe you are so tired of it that you want to sell it.

The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you did later.

Stay in the dark

A good way to calm your emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person and helps put his thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this was done so that gold and precious stones would play and shimmer better in the rays of light? Not just for this. Marketing experts know that bright lights are more likely to make people make impulse purchases.

If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a dim or dark room and reconsider the consequences of your choice.

Breathe deeply

Another simple but effective method that helps in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow, deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”

Think about what you would advise a friend

To reduce emotions and cool down the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who are faced with the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?

Many people notice this peculiarity in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their friends, but when they find themselves in similar situations, they behave extremely stupidly. This happens because, looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves in the middle of a problem, a lot of little things come up that we attach too much importance to.

The ability to abstract yourself and look at a situation with an unbiased mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.

Method 9. “Following life priorities”

Each person has his own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choices. Always stick to these values ​​and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of dedication from you; the second is less prestigious and does not have such a high salary, but you don’t have to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?

To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.

Method 10. “Intuition”

Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you a way out when rational methods do not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, but your inner voice persistently protests against it. Maybe we should listen to him?

Develop intuition, and it will become an excellent assistant in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.

If you find yourself in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or better yet, use several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best and will be able to use it in a variety of life situations. By learning to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.

What should you do if you are a leader and you are faced with a difficult choice? Remember, as in a fairy tale: execution cannot be pardoned, dismissal cannot be left, and it is unclear where to put a comma. In this article we will talk about several ways to make the right decision. This will help not only businessmen, but also ordinary people who find themselves in a difficult situation.

If you are trapped

Usually, making a difficult decision is necessary in a difficult life situation. Stress affects a person in different ways: some withdraw into themselves, some worry and don’t sleep at night, some become hysterical and take it out on loved ones. One thing remains unchanged: a person seems to fall into the trap of his own psyche; he is often unable to make a choice on his own and acts under the influence of emotions or his close environment. Time shows that impulsive and ill-considered decisions are ineffective and can ruin your business, your career, your relationships, in the end. Remember: all serious decisions are made with a cool head. Therefore, before you put into practice the methods described below, do this: turn off your heart and turn on your head. We'll show you how.

There are several ways to pacify emotions:

• short term - breathe correctly. Take 10 deep, slow breaths - this will help you calm down;
• medium-term - imagine that your friend finds himself in such a situation and asks you for advice. What will you tell him? Surely throw away all emotions and try to look at the situation detachedly, objectively. So try it;
• long-term - take a time out. Just let the situation go for a while, do other things, and come back to it after a week or month. This way you will kill two birds with one stone: firstly, you will cut off impulsive decisions and will not cut from the shoulder. And secondly, the right decision will ripen in your head like a ripe fruit - you just need to give it time.

Now that emotions no longer influence your choices, let's talk about eight reliable methods for making decisions.

1. Pros and cons method

Use the good old method: take a sheet of paper and a pen, draw the sheet in half. In the left column write all the advantages of the chosen solution, in the right column - respectively, the disadvantages. Don't limit yourself to just a few items: there should be 15-20 items on the list. Then calculate what will be more. Profit!

The essence of the methoda: even if you endlessly scroll through the pros and cons in your head, you are unlikely to see the full picture. Psychologists advise making written lists: this helps to organize the accumulated information, visually see the relationship between pros and cons, and draw a conclusion based on pure mathematics. Why not?

2. Create habits

This method is suitable if it is difficult for you to make a choice in everyday matters. For example, to increase the salary of a new employee, or if it’s not worth it yet, put it on the website or another company. What to eat for dinner, in the end, French fries or fish with vegetables. A difficult decision, of course, but still not a matter of life and death. In this case, it is useful to consciously create habits for yourself and follow them in the future. For example, introduce an iron rule: increase employee salaries only after six months of working in your company. Buying office supplies exclusively from Skrepka is cheaper. Eating light and healthy dishes for dinner will soon thank you. Well, with the call back you get it, yes.

The essence of the method: following habits, you will make simple decisions automatically, saving yourself from unnecessary thoughts, without wasting precious time on nonsense. But then, when you need to make a truly responsible and important choice, you will be fully armed.

3. “If-then” method

This method is suitable for resolving current problems in business, team, and personal life. For example, your employee speaks impolitely to customers and does not respond to comments. Question: Should I fire him immediately or try to re-educate him? Try using the “if-then” technique. Tell yourself: if he again mistreats a client, you will deprive him of his bonus. If the incident happens again, fire me.

The essence of the method:as in the first case, this is the creation of conditional boundaries within which you will act. The burden will immediately be lifted from the soul, and life will become much easier. And most importantly, you don’t have to waste time thinking and thinking about the fate of a careless employee.

It was invented by the famous American journalist Susie Welch. The rule is: before you make a difficult decision, stop and answer three questions:

• what will you think about it 10 minutes later;
• How will you feel about your choice in 10 months;
• What will you say in 10 years?

Let's give an example. Let's take a young man who works as a manager, doesn't like his job, but puts up with it because he needs money. He dreams of quitting his job, taking out a loan and opening his own business - a small pub, but at the same time he is desperately afraid of going broke and losing everything he has. In general, a classic case when a bird in the hand is preferred to a pie in the sky.

It’s difficult for our hero to take the first step - quit his hated job. Let's say he does this. In ten minutes he is unlikely to have time to regret his decision. In 10 months, he will already have time to rent the premises, equip the pub and receive clients. And if it doesn’t work out - he’ll find a job as a manager anyway - so what’s there to regret? Well, in 10 years, this choice is unlikely to have any significance at all: either the business will continue, or our hero will work in another place - one of two things. It turns out that if you follow the 10/10/10 rule, making a decision no longer becomes such a difficult task, because a person clearly understands what awaits him in the future.

The essence of the method: when making a difficult decision, we are usually overwhelmed by emotions: fear, anxiety, or vice versa, joy and excitement. A person feels it right here and now; feelings obscure the prospects for the future. Remember, as in Yesenin: “You can’t see a face face to face, a big one is seen at a distance.” As long as the future seems cloudy and vague, the choice of solution will be postponed again and again. By making concrete plans, presenting his emotions in detail, a person rationalizes the problem and stops being afraid of the unknown - because it becomes simple and understandable.

Read also: Three real stories.

5. Solve within 15 minutes

Paradoxical as it may seem, the most important, strategic decisions should be made in 15 minutes. A familiar situation: a company has a serious problem that requires immediate action, but the point is that no one knows the right solution. For example, competitors have done something nasty, and it is not clear what to do: respond in kind or get out of the situation with dignity. Or the crisis has hit your company, and you are confused: to move to a less prestigious place or to lay off a dozen employees. How can you make the right choice, and is there even one? And you begin to procrastinate, unable to make a decision, in the hope that everything will resolve itself.

If you don’t know which solution is correct, just imagine that there is no correct answer to this life problem. Give yourself 15 minutes and make any, absolutely any, decision. Yes, at first glance this may seem crazy. What about planning, and what about testing and verifying solutions? Ok, ok, if you can quickly and with a minimum of investment check the correctness of the solution, check it. If this requires months of time and millions of rubles, it is better to abandon this idea and immediately record the time.

The essence of the method: Needless to say, if you waste time, nothing gets solved: crises don’t go away, rental prices don’t go down, and competitors become even sharper. One unmade decision leads to others, the business sags and becomes ineffective. As they say, it is better to do than to regret, than not to do and regret.

6. Don't limit yourself to narrow boundaries

The same thing we wrote about at the beginning. Execute or pardon, buy a car or not, expand or wait for better times. One of two things, hit or miss, oh, it was not! But who said that a problem has only two solutions? Get out of the narrow framework, try to look at the situation more broadly. It is not necessary to organize a large-scale expansion of production - it is enough to launch a couple of new positions. Instead of an expensive car, you can purchase a more modest option, and apply disciplinary measures to the employee who committed the crime for the first time.

The essence of the method: when there are only two solution options, there is a greater chance of choosing the right decision, and many deliberately simplify their lives by dividing the situation into yes and no, black and white. But life is much more diverse: don’t be afraid to look it in the eye and accept all possible options. The solution may be a compromise, a rejection of both extremes in favor of a third, completely unexpected solution, or a successful combination of two options. This often happens when the owner of a small business cannot decide what to do: sit on the phone, deliver orders, or engage only in management activities. Start combining - and then you will see what works best. This will be the optimal solution to the problem.

Throughout his life, every person often has to make an important decision. He also faces the need to make choices throughout the day: what to wear, what soap to use, what products to buy for home, what TV series to watch, and so on. And sometimes even such small everyday issues can put a person before a choice, the result of which can depend on one’s mood or even one’s fate.

Big and small problems

If you look at it this way, then our whole life is a chain consisting of links of choice options. It’s good if these are minor problems: how to cook rice porridge, what color tie will go best with a shirt... Such little things usually do not leave a trace in the memory. It’s another matter when a person’s future life is decided by choice. For example, what profession to choose, whether to tie your fate with the person you like or invest in a business. In these cases, the price of the issue is determined by other measures. If, having cooked porridge incorrectly, a person risks being left without lunch, then the price for a wrong decision can be the loss of money or even several years of life.

For this reason, making the right decision of this kind is often accompanied by stress. And the longer a person thinks, the more this condition worsens, which ultimately affects his well-being and ability to resolve the situation.

Why is it important to make a quick decision?

Every person wants something more in this life: to build a house, earn money, buy expensive furniture, have a beautiful appearance, raise smart children. At first glance, everything is simple - just take it and do it. But there is a small nuance: the possibilities have become so extensive that a person is at a loss for choice. Some turn off the right path, while others continue to go towards their intended goal. Therefore, before making the right decision, you need to carefully analyze and weigh everything. Today our world is structured in such a way that it is not “the big eats the small”, but “the nimble eats the slow.” Speed ​​is everything. A small but actively developing company can unexpectedly absorb a clumsy giant.

In order to open your own production and start doing what you love, a person needs not only funds and desire, but also a decision to change his life once and for all. And this is not easy, because there are always doubts. How to take this step, how to decide to burn all the bridges behind and plunge into the world of new opportunities? In fact, there are many ways that help you overcome doubts and make the right decision.

Time to choose

If you have time to think about each question, you should think through each answer option, since you don’t know in advance which solution is correct. The more versions there are, the greater the chances of finding the best option. You can even write down on paper different situations and their possible solutions. Naturally, this will take time, but there will be an opportunity to analyze and think about everything.

In fact, choice is a unique property of a person that nature gave him. With its help, he can control the reality in which he lives, so as not to become a hostage to unforeseen situations. If a person does not have time to make a choice himself, others will do it for him - parents, social environment, boss, friends. Choice is everything! Therefore, if a person is afraid to make choices himself, he cannot control his destiny, which means he will not achieve his goal. If he does not believe in himself, in his success, he will not have the courage to choose. What helps you make the right decision and how to take an important step?

Fear of failure

When making a decision, a person is afraid of the disapproval of others, failure, losing what he has, responsibility, poverty. Sometimes these fears are justified, but they make it possible to understand one truth: no matter what decision is made - right or wrong - loss cannot be avoided, it is this moment that becomes the cause of torment. Therefore, before quickly making the right decision, you need to kill the fear in yourself. Because of it, the need to choose is perceived as a painful burden - an attempt by all means to avoid it or delay it for some more time.

In addition, a lot depends on the person: under the same circumstances, someone makes a decision, and someone tries to transfer responsibility to another. Because everyone sees the world differently. Two people, having lived the same situation together, will talk about it differently.

The world through the prism of beliefs

We see our world through the prism of our beliefs and knowledge. They, like filters, are able to pass only the information that is necessary. On its basis, important conclusions are drawn. Before making the right decision, one must not give up, one must not give up, otherwise the person will not see a way out of the current situation. “I can’t do anything. I'm a small person. I have nothing left except work. I will always have to live in poverty,” such beliefs prevent you from being free, decisive, purposeful, persistent, believing in yourself, and deprive you of choice. Because of such blockages, important information does not reach our consciousness; we simply reject it.

Is there a choice?

Of course, situations are different, but, regardless of the circumstances, the decision is made by the person himself. But what it will be like, conscious or not, is the question. A conscious decision is a clear vision of the future result. The unconscious is expressed in automatic action under the influence of an impulsive, passionate desire: “It happened,” “I couldn’t restrain myself.” In other words, the person himself does not understand how he committed this or that action, and as a result cannot understand the consequences.

In reality, we cannot know everything, and sometimes we are not able to perform actions that are competent in all respects, but we need to strive for the best, getting to know not only ourselves, but also the world around us. A clear and clear understanding of how to find the right solution to a problem is the basis for effective choice.

Correct criteria

The main question today that many people ask themselves is: “How to get out of this or that situation?” Experts are confident that there is always a way out if we set the right criteria that we define for ourselves.

For example, if a woman wants to create a harmonious relationship and sets herself the task of meeting an athletic, dark-skinned, wealthy and intelligent man, then this will not be enough. Since such a desire determines only the external forms of the goal. It is necessary to fill the task with content. After all, you can meet many men according to established criteria, but how do you know if there is “the one” among them? This is where you can get confused and make a mistake.

Basic criteria for the right choice

To make the right choice, you should fill the task with many sub-points: what kind of relationship you want, what kind of character the chosen one should be. And you need to carry this goal in your heart and understand that you are the one worthy of it. Under no circumstances should there be any doubt. You need to believe that you will definitely meet a worthy person on your way. It is important to look at internal qualities: will you be comfortable with this man, do you feel joy and calmness, do you trust him? Only by answering these questions can you make an informed choice.

In a trap

Before choosing the right decision, you need to understand that the situation can change in any direction, so our future life depends only on our choice. Global changes require informed decisions, for which you need to be prepared. And this depends on the desire to manage your life and the ability to be responsible for your actions. The biggest mistake people make is an outburst of emotions that leads to rash actions. Any deadlock situation requires reflection, which takes time. Haste leads to negative consequences, and a person drives himself into a trap. There is no need to rush, otherwise you will have to start all over again. But, as they say, you learn from mistakes. And this is the kind of experience that brings wisdom.

Choice without lot

How to make the right decision, spending a minimum of time and without risk to health? As a rule, when making a choice, a person weighs the pros and cons. Psychologists even recommend writing down arguments in table form. But what if the result is a 50x50 proportion? How to find the right solution to a problem without resorting to drawing lots? Here are some standard tips to help deal with this problem:

When making a choice, you should look several steps ahead: what results will this or that result lead to. The only correct decision must come consciously, after carefully weighing all possible consequences.

Hopeless situations

Surely each of us has encountered unforeseen situations that required immediate decision-making: some were able to accept them, while others were not. As practice shows, some unforeseen situations do not forgive doubts and mistakes, so every person should know how to quickly make the right decision in order to protect themselves and loved ones from unpleasant situations. The main mistake of many people is unconscious actions in an emergency or an attempt to leave due to fear of responsibility. Therefore, it is better to be prepared in advance so as not to pay the price for unawareness and ignorance later.

How to make the right decision

There are circumstances when a problem needs to be solved right here and now, but a person cannot do anything because he does not know how to do the right thing. In such situations, you need to remain calm before making the right decision. After all, how the problem is resolved depends on this. Gather your thoughts, look into your subconscious, ask your intuition to suggest a way out of the current situation. And what solution comes to mind first is the answer to your request. Even if you have never developed your subconscious mind, it is worth using your intuition. It is important not to make decisions under criticism and pressure, since being in an unbalanced state can lead to rash choices.

So, what helps you make the right decision? This is life experience, lack of fear, intuition, subconscious, situation analysis and logical thinking.