What should parents do if their child smokes? If a teenager starts smoking, what to do?

Smoking has become a widespread problem, the statistics are disappointing: approximately 60% of adolescents aged 14-17 years are susceptible to this harmful habit. Moreover, girls take their first cigarette even earlier than boys. There are many reasons for acquiring a bad habit. One of the main ones is lack of attention from parents. The rhythm of life, work, everyday worries and constant movement around the city do not leave room for intimate conversations with children.

During adolescence, children are very vulnerable and may have communication problems. Various methods are chosen to socialize an individual; a cigarette can become one of the ways of self-affirmation in a children’s company.

Another reason for smoking is the negative example of parents. If mom or dad smoke, then the child does not perceive this process with a negative assessment. He is not put off by the smell; he is used to his parents smelling of tobacco. In families where the father or mother smokes, children have a greater predisposition to smoking.

Psychologists name several reasons for addiction to tobacco products:

the teenager does not have constant contact with his parents;
there is no positive example of a healthy lifestyle before your eyes;
false ideals and stereotypes are embedded in the consciousness (a cigarette is cool);
no sports activities;
there is a lack of information about the dangers of smoking;
presence of smoking relatives.

Symptoms of a new smoker

If parents do not smoke, they will immediately notice the stench of cigarettes. The smell of tobacco remains in the hair and on clothes. If you kiss and hug your son or daughter when returning from work, you will definitely smell new scents. Young smokers are identified by a dry cough, and if the process is prolonged, yellow fingers and teeth. Changes in children’s behavior also appear due to the emergence of a bad habit; they become anxious, and secrecy appears. Constantly chewing chewing gum that has a strong aroma should also alert parents. A sharp shortage of pocket money is a consequence of buying expensive cigarettes.

It's worse if you observe symptoms that confirm that your offspring is smoking spice or weed. Nervousness and sudden mood swings are the first signs of a misfortune that has arisen. A few hours after weed, swelling of the eyelids and redness of the eyes are visible. . But even this sad discovery should not be accompanied by aggression. Show your son or daughter how much pain they cause you by ruining their health. Try to find words that will lead to a joint fight against a bad habit.

Tips for parents

Loving, attentive parents do not even face the question of how to detect the first cigarette smoked. They will see changes immediately. If there is a trusting relationship in the family, then the child can tell himself that he tried to smoke a cigarette.

After such discoveries or confessions, it is important not to break down and yell: “We raised you, we blew away specks of dust, we regularly took you to the sea so that you could breathe clean air, we bought you vitamins, but you are ruining your health!” Try, without showing emotion, to ask how the teenager felt after the first puff? Did he experience a sore throat or nausea? Does his head hurt or his heart ache? Isn’t it difficult for him to run now in physical education lessons, is there any shortness of breath? Try to ask calmly, like a local doctor at an appointment. It is clear that nothing bad will happen from one cigarette, but your task is to give out the entire list of diseases that smoking causes. Don’t be afraid to use stories with a tragic ending; tell us how the father of a school friend or the uncle of a classmate suffered from lung cancer. You are not traumatizing the psyche; teenagers are less prone to empathy, but such facts will make many people think.

If a student did not like the introduction to cigarettes, you need to prove that this is normal; you can talk about this in the company. Tell us about your relatives and friends who tried smoking and didn’t like it. Now these are successful healthy people.

What to do if a child starts smoking? If conversations do not help and promises to quit are not fulfilled, you should not drag out the problem and turn it into an open conflict. Persuade your child to seek help from specialists at the Insight psychological support center. Here you can visit individual consultations and a club for teenagers. Our psychologists will help children get rid of this bad habit and feel comfortable in a group. Call!

For many years, you gave your child only the best, taught him to distinguish good from bad. However, over time, the authority of parents, no matter how ideal they may be, gradually loses its power. With adolescence, the environment begins to influence the child. Moreover, this influence is not always positive: a teenager is often taught vices, as well as “bad habits” - for example, smoking cigarettes.

Before the “Easy Way to Quit Smoking” course, participants fill out a questionnaire, where one of the questions concerns the age at which the first cigarette was smoked. It's sad, but the average age is 14 years.

Of course, smoking parents, friends, and relatives are to blame for this. But we shouldn’t forget about tobacco companies, for which children and teenagers have become the main target audience. And if in the past paid advertising existed in films, including children’s films, today veiled advertising is present in animated series and computer games.

It is extremely important to be vigilant and learn in advance about the main signs that your child is smoking cigarettes in order to prevent it in the early stages and/or eliminate it in the future.

Unfortunately, the consequences of smoking are very serious:

oncology;
heart and vascular diseases;
diseases of the endocrine system;
depressive states;
chronic hypoxia;
schizophrenic manifestations;
suppression of the immune system, etc.

This also applies to e-cigarettes, since they contain the same nicotine as regular cigarettes. Moreover, electronic gadgets are promoted under the guise of being harmless - they are even positioned as a way to help you quit smoking.

Here are some tips to determine whether a teenager smokes or not. Just keep in mind that if you smoke, it will be extremely difficult to convey all the dangers to your child, and even more so to force him to quit smoking.

Pay attention to the cough. One of the most common and immediate symptoms of smoking is a cough, which often affects children who smoke. It can appear just a few days after the onset, and can even occur with intermittent smoking. The cough is usually worse in the morning and lessens during the day. In heavy smokers, the cough is usually accompanied by phlegm, which may be clear, yellow or even green.
Bad breath from smoking regular cigarettes. If your child begins to brush his teeth frequently, even in the middle of the day, then he is probably trying to get rid of the smell of tobacco. Sometimes even small children who smoke worry about yellow spots on their teeth, so if a child becomes interested in whitening toothpastes, this may also indicate smoking. You should also be concerned if your child begins to use chewing gum or mouthwash more often.
Children who start smoking electronic cigarettes do not worry about the condition of their teeth or bad breath. Those who smoke e-cigarettes usually begin to cough due to powerful irritation from e-cigarette vapor, which contains poisonous nicotine, propylene glycol, and synthetic flavorings. This can be determined visually: under the pretext of looking at the teeth, pay attention to irritation of the mucous membrane.
Specific wheezing. Severe wheezing can be caused by a cold and other factors, one of which is damage to the airways/lungs from smoking or vaping e-cigarettes.
Dyspnea. This is a powerful sign by which you can identify a smoker. If your child quickly runs out of breath during physical activity or takes a long time to “catch his breath” after physical activity, then there is a high probability that he smokes.
Frequency of respiratory diseases. People who smoke are more likely to develop respiratory illnesses such as colds, bronchitis and pneumonia. If your child begins to get sick more often, the likely causes may be weakened immunity and inflammation of the respiratory tract caused by smoking regular or electronic cigarettes.

Other signs of smoking in a young child or teen

Note. Sometimes teenagers try to hide the smell of smoke with eau de toilette or body deodorant. This will not prevent you from smelling it. Of course, provided that you yourself do not smoke.

The smell of cigarette smoke. This smell is difficult to get rid of, so you are almost guaranteed to smell it on your clothes or hair if your teen smokes.
Pay attention if your child begins to leave the windows open in his room. Children often try to ventilate their room by leaving the window open after smoking. Pay special attention if they insist on leaving it open even when it's too cold, rainy, etc.
The child carries matches or a lighter in his backpack/pocket. These small objects are difficult to notice, but if you find them, it is a sign that your child has started smoking. Clear evidence may be a pack of cigarettes that the teenager claims a friend asked him to keep.

Why do children smoke?

Adolescence is difficult because young people strive to feel like adults, trying to prove to the whole world that they are already capable of making independent decisions. As a result, they fall into several traps that invariably lead to children starting to smoke.

Attempts to become one's own. Many teenage companies have their own rules that you need to comply with in order to become one of them. Often one of the rules is a cigarette. If you want to become one of your own, smoke along with everyone else. This, unfortunately, is one of the most common reasons why children smoke.
Desire to be cool. To prove your superiority to your peers, you need to commit some act condemned by adults. That's why kids smoke, to be cool. Also, addiction to a cigarette can arise due to imitation of movie or computer game characters.
The need to prove one's maturity. Children who smoke seem older in their own eyes than they actually are. In this case, a simple mechanism works: to be an adult, you need to behave like an adult - adults smoke - if I start smoking, I will become an adult.

Photo project: smoking children

Sadly, many adults do not think about the problems of children's smoking. It seems to them that this is pampering, which will pass with adolescence. But that's not true. Why should we worry about children smoking? Because this can lead to persistent addiction, which will become more and more difficult to get rid of every year.

If you think that there is nothing wrong with children smoking, take a look at the photo project of the same name. No words needed here. Just look at these photos carefully.

What should parents do to prevent or stop existing addiction in children who smoke?

Note. If you have experience with smoking, tell your children about how difficult it was to quit, how you regret smoking your FIRST cigarette.

Talk to your child about smoking before he tries his first cigarette! These conversations need to be planned much earlier than you think. Children who smoke need to understand the dangers of regular and electronic cigarettes. This should be a very important conversation. Your task is to create a negative attitude towards smoking/vaping before the child has the desire to try it.
Ask your children about smoking. Be open with your children and ask them to be open about whether they smoke or not. No negativity or threats. Tell them that you love them no matter what. You understand that smoking is a great temptation, which you do not approve of. Starting on time is all you need to do to help your child.
Your child admitted that he smokes. Don't scold him - it's not his fault. Try to collect as much information as possible. Ask your child when and why he started smoking, how often he smokes, and whether his friends smoke. This will help you understand what attracts him to smoking. You will also be better prepared to help him quit this “bad habit.”
If the child confesses, then, of course, it is difficult to be calm. However, you should calm down. Children will not be verbose if you are even outwardly upset. Talk to your child about smoking, answer his questions and tell him that he can always freely talk to you about any topic.
Explain to your child that you do not approve of smoking in principle. Even if it seems to you that the child is ignoring you, convey to him that smoking is prohibited. If you do not have a firm position, he will not understand that smoking is prohibited.
Clarify the consequences of smoking. Smoking does not provide any benefits, but it does have real negative consequences. It's useless. Talk to your children about the consequences of smoking, discussing the following factors:
- health risk. There are many obvious and very scary health problems that come with smoking/vaping. Be open with your children about the risk of heart disease, the likelihood of developing cancer, and statistics on early death caused by smoking. List other unattractive aspects of smoking that children who smoke or vape have to live with. Nicotine suppresses mental abilities, memory and thinking. Cigarette smoke makes your hair and clothes smell bad. Nicotine destroys the oral mucosa, causing an unpleasant odor, stains on teeth, and premature aging;
- money . Smoking is an expensive habit. Even if your child has a part-time job, the financial strain on a nicotine addict is significant;
- mathematics Find out how much a pack of cigarettes costs, how much your child smokes (or use the average value - one pack a day), and calculate how much he will spend on average per month or year of smoking. The financial costs will be a sobering reality even if the teen is not concerned about the physical risks;
- addiction . This is the main thing that needs to be explained. Addiction is created by nicotine, which is found in both regular and electronic cigarettes. Explain to your young child that addiction is not just about nicotine. Children who smoke will have to pay with their health, time, opportunities, and confidence in the future.

Pass

The problem of nicotine addiction throughout the world is quite acute. Perhaps the most unpleasant thing about this medical and social phenomenon is that children are increasingly becoming smokers. According to statistics, boys smoke their first cigarette at the age of 10, young ladies - closer to 13 years.

And although the initial experience usually does not bring any pleasure, the child continues to smoke “for company”, fearing to stand out among his smoking peers. According to narcologists, addiction forms after the fifth cigarette smoked.

It is not surprising that many parents are concerned about what to do if their teenager starts smoking.

It is not very difficult to identify a smoker in a child, since teenagers usually do not know how to pretend and hide their hobbies. Therefore, the main signs of children who smoke are visible to the naked eye:

And, of course, the most obvious indicator is if you catch a child smoking a cigarette. Here, as they say, you can’t get away with it. But the stories of “well-wishers” who allegedly saw your offspring smoking should be treated with a fair amount of skepticism.

But you shouldn’t discount this information either; you just need to watch your son or daughter more closely.

Why does a child start smoking?

If a teenager is addicted to smoking, first of all, parents need to understand why the addiction arose, where the “legs” of the first cigarette smoked come from. If you have a trusting relationship with your child, it is better to just talk.

In case of secretive behavior of your offspring, you need to analyze your relationship and remember the circle of his friends.

And yet, why does a child start smoking? Psychologists and narcologists identify the following reasons for the occurrence of such a habit:

the child takes an example from smoking parents;
interest in cigarettes, that is, I simply wanted to try;
imitates smoking friends;
smoking is fashionable, from his point of view;
started smoking as a bet because his friends claimed that he was a weakling and a mama’s boy;
the child focuses on smoking characters in movies and music videos;
fell for flashy commercials showing approval of this lifestyle;
children protest against parental dictates in this way, that is, the child begins to smoke in spite of his mother or father (this is from the series “no one understands me”);
boring and monotonous pastime, lack of other hobbies, for example, playing sports;
desire to try the “forbidden fruit”.

As you can see, the list of possible reasons is quite impressive. However, the most significant and obvious motive is the personal example of smoking parents.

By the way, if you smoke yourself, this will significantly complicate the process of weaning your child from this harmful habit.

Before discussing the fight against this bad habit, it is necessary to dwell on how harmful nicotine is for the developing human body.

A modern child relates better to scientific facts than to hours-long parental lectures, not supported by anything other than emotions.

The greatest danger nicotine contained in tobacco products poses to the nervous system. This chemical compound easily depletes nerve cells, which is manifested by fatigue, irritability, and excessive excitability. Young smokers are always nervous and irritable.
Basic mental processes also suffer from smoking. Memory rapidly deteriorates, thinking also begins to malfunction. And the more a child smokes, the more clearly negative trends appear.
Another suffering side is the respiratory system. The respiratory organs, which are still imperfect, cannot process tobacco smoke and the tar, methane, and nitrogen it contains. Most of these chemical compounds settle on the lungs, which provokes numerous colds. Then the voice of adolescents who smoke begins to change, shortness of breath and a barking cough appear.
Tooth enamel also suffers from smoking. You've probably noticed that many smokers have yellow teeth. This is due to the temperature difference: the air inhaled by the child is colder than cigarette smoke, which leads to the destruction of tooth enamel.
A teenager who is addicted to cigarettes often experiences worsening skin conditions. Numerous pimples appear, the skin begins to become shiny. If this habit is excessively carried out, a distinct yellowness of the skin and nails is observed.

Adults, having discovered that their child smokes, most often react very sharply and impulsively, even if they themselves are heavy smokers. Let's look at the most common and controversial parental reactions to children's smoking.

Advanced adults allow their offspring to smoke at home and even with them, arguing that they do not want him to take a drag on a cigarette somewhere in the gateway. Some children, embarrassed and feeling guilty, throw the pack away, while others perceive permission as a guide to action and begin to smoke even more, gradually moving on to heavier drugs.
The other extreme is to force the child to smoke the entire pack, so that he literally feels sick afterwards even from the smell of cigarettes. On many forums you can find similar stories: “My father forced me to smoke 20 cigarettes.” However, for some reason such revelations are written by heavy smokers who continue to smoke. In addition, this method is simply dangerous for the child’s health; there is a high probability of acute intoxication of the body and even death.
Another method is prohibitive. Parents, demanding that they stop using nicotine, forbid the teenager to communicate with “bad” company, or even go outside, and deprive him of pocket money and other privileges. The most common child’s reaction to such a parental step is demarche, rebellion, that is, the child will do everything out of spite: “They oppress me - I will smoke even more!”

Of course, the likelihood of getting a backlash from a teenager does not mean that adults should not try to resolve the problems that have arisen. Parents just need to use common sense and respect the child’s personality.

The statistics are inexorable - most often children start smoking in those families in which one or both parents also like to smoke a cigarette. Therefore, the very first way to prevent this bad habit is your own parental example. Agree, it is useless and even immoral to talk about the dangers of smoking or undesirable consequences while holding a cigarette in your hand. What else needs to be done?

It would seem like banal advice, but many parents neglect it. It sounds simple - try to spend more time with your teenager, more often and be sincerely interested in his successes and failures. Try to share his hobbies: if he likes cycling, keep him company. Of course, you should not try to replace your peers and become “in the board”; you must remain an authority.
To prevent your child from saying: “No one listens to or respects me,” give him greater freedom in choosing clothes, literature, and musical preferences. This way you will reduce the risk of developing a bad habit due to teenage rebellion and the desire to act out of spite, showing your maturity and independence.
If your child is unsure of himself and tends to act “for the company”, being a follower in life, try to teach him to defend his own point of view and have his own position. Explain that you should not be like your peers and smoke because your friends smoke cigarettes. After all, a mature person knows how to resist the opinion of the crowd.
Conversations about the dangers of nicotine should be started not in adolescence, but in childhood, when kids first raise questions about “smoking sticks”, “smoke rings coming from their uncle’s mouth.” It is important to observe moderation here, that is, you should not brush off the curious little one, but you should not intimidate him with scary stories and pictures. Consider the age of the child!

The best “vaccination” against smoking is exercise.

Firstly, the child develops a negative attitude towards cigarettes, which can ruin his sports career. Secondly, physical activity promotes the production of endorphins - happiness hormones, which also resemble a kind of drug, but, of course, are good for health. And thirdly, sports activities accelerate physical development, so there is no need to show your maturity with a cigarette.

What to do if a teenager starts smoking?

So, you found out that the child tried to smoke. What might your reaction be? Of course, this news will upset you, and even more likely, you will fall into irritation and even rage. The most common reaction is a quarrel, scandal, hysteria (if the mother starts the conversation), spanks and slaps in the face. However, as psychologists assure, shouting will not help.

First of all, accept this news, try to “digest” it, calm down a little, and only then start talking with your offspring and thinking about what to do in such a situation. And there are, in fact, a huge variety of behavior options. The choice of the most appropriate one depends on several factors: the characteristics of the teenager, the reasons for his action, the psychological atmosphere in the family. What to do if a child tries to smoke?

First of all, try to find out why he started smoking, what became the main motive for such behavior. However, it is important not just to get an answer from the child, but to find out whether he himself understands what caused smoking and how dangerous it is for his health.
There is no need to start a serious conversation with an appeal to his age, saying, “You are still too young to smoke or decide anything at all.” This is the most unproductive start to a conversation, since the child will start doing things out of spite in order to prove his maturity. On the contrary, talk to him like an adult, giving arguments.
If the reason is the desire to appear more mature, then try to prove that this is possible without nicotine addiction. An example could be some authoritative character - a musician, actor or great athlete who does not smoke and actively spreads the word about it.
If you yourself are a constant smoker, it’s time to end your addiction to cigarettes. You can invite your child to do this together - quitting smoking is always easier in a company. Tell him that giving up a habit is much easier at first, give examples of friends who have successfully dealt with addiction, discuss that the reluctance of adults to fight the habit shows a weakness of character.
Provide reliable medical data that clearly shows the dangers of nicotine to children's lungs and other organs. Watch documentaries, look at pictures (it is advisable to avoid the “chernukha”). The word “cancer” doesn’t mean anything to children yet, so focus on the consequences for the vocal cords, skin and tooth enamel.
If your child starts smoking out of boredom, find something to do with him that will take up most of his free time, so there is no time left for the desire to smoke. Be sure to find out what interests the teenager himself - for example, music, drawing. The best way out, as we wrote above, is to go in for sports, since athletes simply cannot smoke. And the remaining time from training can be spent hiking and traveling together.
Be sure to keep track of your offspring's friendships. However, you should not prohibit seeing the company, otherwise you will achieve the opposite result. Find out better what attracts a child to communicate with these specific children. Having found out why he strives for them, you can direct his energy in the right direction and, at the same time, change your behavior. It is no secret that it is parental busyness that often pushes teenagers to try something new and the desire to stand out in the crowd of their peers.
An alternative way is to give the teenager full responsibility for their own health. Did you find out that your child has started smoking? Pretend you don't care and let him make his own decision about smoking cigarettes. Usually, children, having heard such words from adults, almost immediately give up a bad habit, because now it has become permitted, open, and, therefore, now this fruit is no longer so forbidden and sweet.
Analyze the family situation, since emotional distress in the home is often manifested by children's addiction to cigarettes. Even with external gloss, the child feels useless and dissatisfied with his role in the social unit. He probably started smoking or is just trying to smoke to get your attention. This is a kind of return to early childhood, when the baby misbehaves in order to stay longer with you.
If, after a constructive conversation, your teenager promises to quit smoking, provide your full support. Regularly ask how he feels, whether he wants to pick up a cigarette again. Encourage and praise your child for every day he spends without nicotine. This is his and your small victory!
If none of the suggested recommendations help and you are afraid that your child may become addicted to more than just cigarettes, do not hesitate to seek qualified psychotherapeutic help. A psychologist will analyze your situation and give specific advice that is right for you. Just do everything carefully so that the child does not perceive your desire negatively.

Only a friendly attitude and your patience will help you find the right approach to a teenager who smokes. Give up shouting and scandals, punishments and curses, it is better to establish the cause, and then begin to eliminate the consequences.

Hello, I am Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully completed her studies at SUSU as a specialized psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and consulting parents on issues of raising children. I use the experience gained, among other things, in creating articles of a psychological nature. Of course, I in no way claim to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

Many parents ask questions - “what to do if their son smokes weed”, this comes as a shock, since they understand that drugs are a very dangerous thing.

Let's look at this problem. Firstly, once you find out that your child smokes weed, do not make hasty decisions. You must think soberly and adequately.

The child does not see anything wrong with drug use. In order to explain to him that drug use does not bring anything good, you must be well versed in this topic.

We need to find out what kind of weed he smokes. At the moment, there are chemical analogues of marijuana; these smoking mixtures are very toxic and harmful to the body, especially to the young body.

First of all, synthetic smoking mixtures are harmful to the developing young brain, as well as potency. You must explain that chemicals are very poorly removed from the body.

Open Yandex and show him a video of how an overdose from spice occurs or how young guys commit suicide while in a state of drug intoxication.

Before starting a conversation, you must have comprehensive information, so we advise you to read the articles in the section.

If your son smokes marijuana, then this is not so scary, but nevertheless, this drug is also addictive and harmful to the body.

You should know how addiction to marijuana occurs and what harm it causes to the human body and psyche. If you don't know this, then you're not ready to talk. We advise you to familiarize yourself with such materials as, and.

Talk to your child. Find out why he started using drugs, where he gets his money, what kind of friends he has.

In most cases, teen drug addiction problems can be resolved through conversation. Not with quarrels and threats, but with normal conversation.

Find out how long he has been using drugs. This is important. If he has been using drugs for more than 3 months, then he has already developed an addiction, and it will be extremely difficult to get rid of it on his own.

In the first stages, you can cure addiction on your own, for this you need:

Change your son's social circle;
Find him a job, a passion, a hobby;
Support him and be interested in his life.

Psychologists say that: - “teenage drug addiction is born out of curiosity and develops due to emotional insufficiency.”