Is it possible for blood relatives to wash the deceased? Necessary documents for funeral

Death is perhaps one of the most mysterious and frightening phenomena. It will inevitably affect every person. Even those who are skeptical about ghosts and other unknown things believe in it. Therefore, seeing off a person to another world has long been overgrown with a lot of beliefs and signs. Many of them can be explained quite simply - as a tribute to a person who has completed his life’s journey. The origin of others is mysterious and incomprehensible and is rooted in ancient, already forgotten traditions.

Signs at a funeral. What not to do

1. In the house where the deceased is located, all mirrors are required to be covered. Otherwise, the soul will get lost in them, and the reflection of the deceased will appear alive, frightening them.
2. You cannot stay overnight in the room where the coffin is located. If someone had to do this, in the morning such a person must be fed noodles.
3. It is forbidden to have animals in the house with the deceased. A dog may howl, which will frighten the soul of the deceased, and a cat may jump into the coffin, which is a bad omen.
4. You cannot sweep and take out trash from the home of the deceased - this will lead to the death of everyone living in the house. All this is done after the body is removed.
5. Coins are placed over the dead person's eyes - it is believed that if the dead person opens his eyes, he will certainly look out for the one who will soon leave after him.
6. You cannot put anything that belongs to you in the coffin, and you cannot take anything that is already there back.
7. You cannot photograph or videotape the deceased.
8. The coffin is not made to size - another dead person will appear in the house.

Meeting a funeral is a sign, interpreted differently. Some say that this portends misfortune, others, on the contrary, consider the funeral procession a sign of happiness in the future, but the current day does not bode well. As a sign of respect for the deceased, it is forbidden to cross the street in front of the procession (towards a growth on the bones or bad luck) and to go towards them. You should stop and wait. Men should remove their hats. Overtaking the procession by car is also prohibited.

Funeral of a child: signs

The greatest tragedy is if a child dies. Some signs are also associated with the funeral of prematurely departed children:

• when going to a baby’s funeral, you should buy a toy and candy or a wreath with a toy;
• if the child has not been baptized, it is better to bury him in the dark, otherwise he may get sick. There is a belief that unbaptized children turn into evil spirits.

Signs associated with funerals

1. Clinking glasses at a wake is prohibited - it is believed that this will transfer trouble from one house to another.
2. You can’t give tables and chairs to a funeral; you can invite a funeral to your home.
3. Returning from a funeral, you need to warm your hands over a stove or a lit candle - it is believed that this will not allow you to bring death into the house.
4. After the grave is buried, one should drink to the repose of the soul of the deceased.
5. Having returned to the house from which the deceased was taken out, it is necessary to place a glass of water by the window - the soul will drink from it for 40 days.
6. You can’t laugh or sing at a wake; grief will come to your home. You can’t get drunk either - children will become alcoholics.

Signs associated with funerals for pregnant women

Many people are interested in the question: is it possible for pregnant women to go to a cemetery?

There is also one for pregnant women bad omens at a funeral. If possible, it is better to avoid such activities altogether during pregnancy. It is believed that the child may be born sick or stillborn.

If a woman comes to a funeral, she should leave the house before the coffin with the deceased is carried out. It is prohibited to attend the funeral service and burial.

It is not allowed to look at the deceased - it is believed that he can take the unborn child with him.

Funeral signs - superstitions, traditions, rituals

A human funeral is a rite of burial for the deceased, symbolizing farewell and the end of earthly life and the beginning of a new, eternal one. The entire funeral ritual of the Slavs has both Christian and pagan roots, closely intertwined and no longer separated due to centuries-old foundations.

Orthodox funerals in Russia perhaps most fully combine pre-Christian burial traditions with religious rules and burial procedures, and post-funeral traditions.

This is explained by the relative tolerance of Orthodoxy towards pagan remnants and the presence of many social and historical features in various territories of the country.

Commitment and funeral of the deceased in every culture and religion is accompanied by a certain ceremony and rituals. The mysterious and mystical transition from the kingdom of the living to the kingdom of the dead is beyond the sphere of human understanding, therefore people, depending on their religious worldview, historical and cultural characteristics, have developed a whole system of rules and traditions during funerals. They should help the deceased get used to the new world - after all, the overwhelming majority of religions and faiths proceed from the fact that death means only the end of the earthly period of existence.

The ritual rite is performed primarily to help the deceased, although at present many mistakenly view the observed customs of burial and commemoration as a desire to support loved ones and relatives, to share with them the bitterness of loss, and to show a sense of respect for the deceased.

Stages of funerals, Orthodox traditions at funerals in Russia include the following main events and rituals, which together represent a sequential burial procedure;

• Preparation;
• farewell;
• funeral service;
• burial;
• remembrance.

Every person has to bury loved ones. It is important to follow the funeral ritual. Russian Orthodox traditions have long been formed (including those that are not currently used or are used in remote areas by Orthodox Christians). There is a mandatory minimum that a person participating in the burial procedure needs to know.

An Orthodox person should know the minimum necessary for the proper organization of a funeral

This information is especially important for believers. Many people come to God in adulthood and do not know some customs, attaching importance to superstitions that are not related to religion and, thereby, not helping the soul of the deceased enter the afterlife. For non-believers, observing traditions is important out of a sense of respect for the deceased and those gathered to see him off.

Preparation for burial

Preparation is the pre-funeral stage of a funeral, which includes several component ritual events. When preparing a body for burial, some pagan customs are also observed. Death in Christianity is seen as the beginning of the road to a new life, so the deceased must be prepared and collected for the road. Preparing the body of the deceased for the unearthly journey has both religious and mystical content, as well as a sanitary and hygienic component.

Washing the body

The deceased must appear before the Creator pure both spiritually and physically.

The mystical component of the ritual is that washing the body had to be performed by certain people - the washers.

They could not be closely related to the deceased, so that tears would not fall on the body. Mourning the deceased is not compatible with the Christian understanding of death as a transition to eternal life and a meeting with God. There is a belief that a mother's tears burn a dead child. The washers were chosen from among old maids and widows who were clean and did not commit bodily sins. For work, linen and clothes of the deceased were given as a reward.

The body was washed on the floor at the threshold of the house, the deceased was positioned with his feet towards the stove. Warm water, comb and soap were used. It was believed that otherworldly dead forces were transferred to the things used during washing, so it was necessary to get rid of them as soon as possible. Pots containing water for washing, combs, and soap residues were thrown into a ravine and taken to crossroads and beyond the field. The used water was considered dead and was poured out in the far corner of the yard, where no people walked and nothing was planted.

All these traditions are a reflection of the mystical component of the pagan understanding of death and fear of the otherworldly light.

Compliance with such rituals was necessary to ensure that the dead did not come from the other world and take their loved ones with them. The Christian meaning lies in the need for purification before God not only of the soul, but also of the body. Modern washing in the morgue has a purely sanitary and hygienic content.

Deceased's vestment

Nowadays, it is traditional to dress the deceased man in a dark suit and white shirt, and for women in light-colored clothes. However, in the era of Ancient Rus' and the Middle Ages, everyone was buried in white. This tradition combined both Christian ideas about the purity of the soul and the traditional white robes adopted in Rus'.

Traditionally, the deceased is dressed in white.

For burial, the best clothes of the deceased are chosen; special funeral sets or new suits and dresses are often purchased, which also symbolizes the purity of a person before God. The feet are shod in white slippers without hard soles - a familiar symbol of funeral supplies. It is prohibited to use the clothes of relatives or other people. Women's heads are covered with a scarf, which is combined with Christian and cultural traditions, and a man is wearing a wreath with a prayer.

Certain traditions are observed in relation to deceased young girls and boys who did not have time to get married.

The death of a young person is always an exceptional event. Premature death at the most active age causes special regret and sadness. Unmarried girls, both in the old days and now, are buried in white, and often in wedding dresses, with a veil placed in the coffin. The funeral of the bride may be accompanied by some wedding customs - drinking champagne, singing wedding songs.

For deceased young people who did not have time to get married, wedding rings are put on the ring finger of the right hand. The dressing up of young people occurs in the same way as in preparation for a wedding ceremony. Similar traditions exist not only in the Orthodox world.

Entombment

After washing and vesting, the deceased is placed on a bench facing the icons, spread with straw or something soft. Silence must be maintained in the house; telephones and audio-video equipment must be turned off. Mirrors, glass surfaces other than windows (cabinet and sideboard doors, interior doors, etc.) should be covered with white paper or cloth, photographs and paintings should be removed or hung.

The coffin (the obsolete name domovin - from the word “house”) is considered as the last earthly refuge of a person. This element is given a lot of attention in the funeral procedure.

In ancient times, coffins could be made in one piece from a tree trunk. In its usual form, this ritual object is made of boards; modern materials (chipboard, plastic, etc.), metals can only be used for decoration and decoration (with the exception of zinc coffins in certain cases). Any type of wood except aspen can be used for production. The inside of the coffin is covered with soft material. Expensive coffins can be polished, decorated with valuable materials and upholstered with soft coverings. The body is placed on a white cover - a sheet or cloth. A small pillow is placed under the head. The prepared coffin can be considered as an imitation of a bed; the deceased is laid out in such a way that it is “comfortable”. Sometimes women during their lifetime prepare a pillow for their coffin, stuffed with their own hair.

The coffin in the Christian tradition is an imitation of a bed

Those who are baptized are buried with a cross. An icon, a crown on the forehead and a “handwriting” - a written or printed prayer for the remission of sins - are placed in the coffin. It is placed in the right hand of the deceased, and a candle is placed on the chest in crossed arms. The deceased can be given things that he constantly used or especially treasured during his lifetime. It has become common to be buried with cell phones.

Previously, mittens were worn to transfer the body into the coffin, and the house was constantly fumigated with incense. Before the coffin is taken out, you cannot throw garbage out of the house - this custom is observed in our time.

Seeing off the deceased

Seeing off the deceased is also a symbiosis of Orthodox rituals, mystical beliefs and traditions and takes place in several stages. Currently, modern traditions are closely intertwined with established old customs, which include:

• installation of a portrait and awards of the deceased at the coffin, their demonstration in the funeral procession;
• farewell speeches;
• placing photographs on gravestones and crosses;
• funeral music, singing, fireworks;
• condolences through the media, etc.

Farewell to the deceased

The coffin is placed in the room on a table covered with a cloth, or on stools with the feet facing the door. The lid is located vertically with a narrow part towards the floor in the corridor, often on the landing. For 3 days, the coffin with the body of the deceased must remain in the house.

Relatives, friends, acquaintances and neighbors come to visit the deceased. The doors don't close. At night, relatives and friends should gather around the coffin to say goodbye to the deceased, remember his worldly life, the events in which the deceased was a participant.

Previously, it was mandatory for relatives or specially invited persons (not necessarily priests) to read the psalter over the coffin. Now the observance of this tradition is left to the discretion of the closest relatives. The canon “Following the departure of the soul from the body” should be read over the deceased.

If there are icons in the house, you need to place a glass of water in front of them, covered with a piece of bread. Water and bread can be installed on the windowsill. It is believed that the soul of the deceased does not immediately leave the earth. The food and drink on display may reflect both a pagan sacrifice to the spirit of the deceased, and Christian ideas about the soul's stay on earth after death for 40 days - a clear example of the interweaving of pagan and Christian rituals. A candle is lit at the head of the coffin on a table or other elevation, and a lamp should burn in front of the images. Candles can be placed in the corners of the house.

A portrait with a black ribbon is placed at the head of the coffin, awards are placed on a cushion at the feet. Wreaths are lined up along the walls of the room; a wreath from relatives is placed at the feet between the coffin and the pillow with awards. People who come to say goodbye usually do not take off their shoes. It is required to stand or sit near the coffin for some time; only relatives gather with the deceased for a long time or throughout the night. In the room with the deceased, chairs or benches should be installed along the coffin. Farewell is carried out until the body is removed.

Currently, the tradition of a three-day farewell is not observed in megalopolises and large cities, but in small urban settlements and rural areas it has been preserved everywhere.

Observance of the three-day farewell is at the discretion of the relatives and depends on the actual circumstances in which the burial takes place.

Often the body for burial is taken from the morgue already prepared, and the procession immediately goes to the church or cemetery. The clergy do not insist on strict observance of all this does not affect.

Removal of the body and funeral procession

The removal of the body is scheduled no earlier than 12 - 13 hours and with the expectation that the burial takes place before sunset. Usually they try to carry out the removal before 14:00. They carry out the deceased feet first, without touching the threshold and door frames, which should protect against the return of the dead person. There is another special protective rite - replacing the place of the deceased. It is necessary to sit for some time on the table or stools on which the coffin was located, and then turn them upside down for a day.

Removal of the body begins at 12 - 13 o'clock

Before the removal, those who came to say goodbye and see them off on their last journey line up along the route of the procession. Initially, wreaths, a portrait of the deceased, a pillow with orders and medals, and a coffin lid are taken out of the house. After 10 - 15 minutes, the coffin is taken out and carried to the hearse, and relatives come out behind the coffin. Before the hearse, the coffin is placed on stools for a few minutes and left open to give an opportunity to say goodbye to those people who have not been home and are not going to the funeral service or the cemetery.

In the hearse, the coffin is placed on a special pedestal with the head forward, and wreaths are laid.

A specific custom during the removal is mourning for the deceased, and it is often not relatives or close people who mourn. Lamentations over the coffin and tears, according to tradition, should characterize the personality of the deceased. The better the relationships with others and respect from society, the more crying. In the old days, there were special mourners who were specially invited to the ceremony. Folklore has also preserved funeral laments - songs-lamentations, which were performed in an annoying howling voice.

The funeral procession from the door of the house to the hearse is lined up in the following order:

• orchestra;
• master of ceremonies;
• a man carrying a portrait;
• people carrying pillows with awards of the deceased;
• people with wreaths;
• people carrying the coffin lid;
• pallbearers;
• close relatives;
• others saying goodbye.

There was an interesting ritual of the first meeting, personifying the unity of earthly and unearthly life. The ritual consisted in the fact that the first person encountered by the procession was given bread, which he wrapped in a towel. The gifted one had to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. It was assumed that the deceased should be the first to meet in another world the person who was presented with bread. Along the route of the procession with the coffin, grain was scattered for the birds. The presence of birds was considered a good sign, and sometimes they were identified with the souls of the dead.

According to church canons, the funeral procession could only stop at the church and near the cemetery. Often, traffic slowed down or stopped when passing any memorial or significant places and objects for the deceased: near the house of a recently deceased neighbor or relative, at crossroads, at crosses, etc. As they passed through such places, some of the mourners could drop out.

This custom is to some extent combined with traditions associated with the 40-day stay of the soul of the deceased on earth. During this period, the soul visits the most significant places for a person in earthly life.

Immediate family members are not allowed to carry the coffin. Most often, porters are either specially invited people, or friends, colleagues and distant relatives. The ritual of wearing a coffin is very different from what existed previously. What remains common is that the further the coffin is carried in the arms, the more respected the position the deceased occupied. Along the route of the coffin, fresh flowers are scattered - carnations for the deceased man and roses for women and girls.

Funeral service

The deceased is buried on the 3rd day after death, except for the days of Holy Easter and the Nativity of Christ. The ceremony is performed only once, in contrast to memorial services, which can be served both before and after burial several times. Only baptized people are allowed to perform funeral services. Those who renounced the faith or were excommunicated from the church, or suicides, cannot be inveterate. In completely exceptional cases, the latter can be inveterate with the blessing of the bishop.

Suicides are not buried in church

To perform the ceremony, the coffin with the deceased is brought into the church and placed with its head towards the altar. Those gathered are nearby, holding burning church candles in their hands. The priest proclaims Eternal Memory and reads a prayer of permission, which absolves the deceased from unfulfilled vows and sins committed during his lifetime. The prayer of permission does not forgive sins for which the deceased did not consciously want to repent; only those admitted in confession or which the deceased did not report due to ignorance or forgetfulness can be forgiven.

A piece of paper with the words of prayer is placed in the hands of the deceased.

At the end of the prayer, those gathered put out the candles and walk around the coffin with the body, kiss the aureole on the forehead and the icon on the chest, and ask for forgiveness from the deceased. After the farewell is over, the body is covered with a shroud. The coffin is closed with a lid, and after the funeral service it can no longer be opened. With the singing of the Trisagion, the deceased is taken out of the temple, the procession moves to the burial place. There is a procedure if it is not possible to deliver the deceased to the temple or invite a clergyman home.

Burial

The burial must end before sunset. By the time the body is delivered to the burial site, the grave must be ready. If the burial is carried out without a funeral service, the coffin is closed near the dug grave, having previously given those gathered the opportunity to finally say goodbye to the deceased. Last speeches are made over the open coffin, the virtues and good deeds of the deceased are remembered. The coffin is lowered into the grave on long towels. Those gathered take turns throwing a handful of earth onto the lid of the coffin; the relatives go first. You can briefly pray to yourself with the words: May God rest the soul of your newly departed servant (name), and forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant him the Kingdom of Heaven. This prayer is also performed at a funeral dinner before a new dish.

May be accompanied by a number of customs and ritual actions:

1. Together with the coffin, church candles that burned in the church during the funeral ceremony are lowered into the grave.
2. Small coins are thrown into the grave. This custom is interpreted as the purchase by the deceased of a place in the cemetery from the “owner” of the underworld or a place in the next world, payment for passage to the other world.
3. After burial, a tear shawl is left on the grave.

These customs have pagan roots, but do not contradict Orthodox canons.

A temporary Orthodox cross or obelisk or other sign with a photograph of the deceased, name and dates of life is installed on the burial mound. A permanent monument can be erected no earlier than the next year after the burial. The grave is usually buried by cemetery workers - diggers. After the burial, custom dictates that the workers be treated to traditional funeral dishes and vodka for the repose of their souls. Leftover food is scattered on the grave to attract birds.

The funeral of military personnel, participants in war and hostilities, and law enforcement officers is accompanied by a small arms salute.

In the old days there was an interesting ritual - hidden alms. For 40 days after the burial, relatives secretly laid out alms on the windows and porches of poor neighbors - bread, eggs, pancakes, pieces of canvas, etc. The gifted were supposed to pray for the deceased, and it was believed that they took part of the sins to themselves. The distribution of alms is also associated with the customs of distributing tear scarves, pies, and sweets. in some places new wooden spoons were distributed so that the deceased would be remembered every time they ate. Wealthy relatives could make large donations for a new bell (it was believed that the bell could rescue a sinful soul from hell). There was a custom to give a rooster to a neighbor so that it would sing for the sins of the deceased.

Remembrance

The funeral ends with a memorial dinner, to which everyone is invited. Funerals serve not only to remember the deceased, but also represent the continuation of life. The funeral meal has certain features in the choice and sequence of dishes. The basis, the head of nutrition in Russian traditions was bread and flour products. The wake begins and ends with pancakes or pancakes with honey and kutia. Kutya, depending on local characteristics, is prepared from wheat grains boiled in honey, rice with sugar and raisins.

For the first course, meat cabbage soup or soup must be served. For the second course, prepare porridge (barley, millet) or potatoes with meat. Fish and jelly can be served as separate appetizers. On fasting days, meat is replaced with fish and mushrooms. Serving a sweet third is required. In accordance with old traditions, the third should be oatmeal jelly, but nowadays it is replaced with compote. Separate snacks can include fried fish and jelly. At the wake, people are treated to vodka; women can be offered wine.

Pies with meat, cabbage, and sweets are a must. Pies are distributed to those present so that they can treat them to their families.

Funeral services are held on days 9 and 40. Day 9 means turning to the 9 angelic ranks, which act as those asking God for leniency and mercy for a sinful soul. From the 9th day after the funeral to the 40th, the soul is doomed to wander through ordeals, which represents a visit to various places where sins were committed. Angels must help the soul overcome sinful obstacles on the way to the other world. The Creator does not initially assign the soul to either hell or heaven. Within 40 days, the deceased atones for his sins, and an assessment is made of the good and evil he has done. The funeral takes place in the form of a funeral meal. During the wake, the house is cleaned in the same way as during the farewell to the deceased within 3 days after death.

Day 40 is the last day of the soul’s stay in this world. On this day, the Supreme Court is held, the soul returns for a while to its former home and remains there until the funeral service. If the send-off is not arranged, the deceased will suffer. On the 40th day, the further extraterrestrial life of a person is determined. There is a custom to hang a towel in the corner of the house for 40 days. The soul, returning home after the ordeal, wipes itself with a towel and rests.

Sweet pies are an obligatory dish at the funeral table.

Prayer can alleviate the lot of a sinful soul in extraterrestrial life, so the relatives of the deceased order a funeral service (mass) in the church with the remembrance of the deceased for 6 weeks after death - Sorokoust. Instead of mass, you can order the reading of the magpie to a reader, who reads the canon for 40 days in the house of the deceased. The names of the dead are recorded in the annual commemoration - synodik.

Mourning for the head of the family is observed for a longer period of time than for the elderly. Outwardly, mourning is expressed by wearing dark clothes.

Women wear a black headscarf for 40 days after the funeral. During the period of mourning, they often visit the deceased in the cemetery, go to church, and refuse entertainment events and celebrations. Longer periods of mourning characterize the severity of the loss. Mothers of deceased children and young widows observe mourning for up to a year or more. For deceased elderly parents or an elderly spouse, mourning can be reduced to 6 weeks. Men adhere to mourning clothing to participate in funeral rites; on other days, mourning is not outwardly expressed.

Below you will find signs that people who have buried a loved one need to know - when they can open a mirror after the funeral, do cleaning and repairs, and watch TV. There are many restrictions and prohibitions that were invented by our ancestors, for the most part, back in pre-Christian times.

When to open the mirror

It is a well-known fact that after a person’s death, all reflective surfaces are supposed to be covered. These are not only mirrors, but also televisions, computer monitors and other things in which you can see your reflection. This is done so that the reflection of the deceased does not remain in the house, and his ghost does not appear alive.

There will be a lot of decisions about when you can open a mirror after a funeral. One at a time, this can be done immediately after returning from the cemetery and funeral. According to other beliefs, this is done after three days, or no earlier than the ninth day after death. But these are all modern traditions. In villages, curtains are still removed from mirrors only on the 41st day, when the fate of the soul of the deceased has already been decided.

Signs are based on the path of the deceased. So, after three days after death, his guardian angel takes him to inspect paradise. For 9 days he will appear before the Lord and go to inspect hell. On the 40th day, the soul is given a final verdict on where it will reside. Since only the first three days after death the soul is among the living, the mirrors can be opened after it leaves it. That is, on the fourth day. Previously, it was believed that during all 40 days the soul could visit relatives from time to time. That’s why they didn’t open the mirrors all this time.

Sometimes mirrors are not covered at all. For example, when a person died in a hospital, and his body is taken to the cemetery from the morgue, and not from home. This is wrong. A person’s soul will still return home and stay near loved ones during their lifetime. Sometimes only those mirrors that are located where the deceased is located are covered. It is also incorrect, because the soul will wander through all the rooms of the house.

Some Slavic superstitions claim that whoever looks first into a mirror opened after a funeral will soon die. To prevent this, the cat is brought to the mirror first. This sign is not scary for her.

Is it possible to watch TV

For obvious reasons, there are no old signs on this matter, but as mentioned above, televisions are supposed to be covered, just like mirrors. You can open them at the same time as the mirrors. That is, either after the funeral, or after the third, ninth or fortieth day.

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The Church does not prohibit watching TV, but recommends abstaining from entertainment at least nine days. You can watch news and educational programs, but it’s better to postpone watching movies and talk shows. You cannot turn on the TV in a house where a dead person is lying. Wait until the funeral is over. If the deceased was not a person close to you, the restriction does not apply to you.

These rules also apply to listening to music. The exception is church hymns. If you wish, you can listen to classical music. By the way, the funeral orchestra is a Soviet innovation. In the old days, they were accompanied by prayers and religious chants.

Should I keep photos of the dead?

The answer is yes. Photos are memories of a dear person, a memory for his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. By destroying photographs of the deceased, you allow his descendants to never know about him.

But still the image of the dead man is connected with world of the dead. Psychics can determine from a photo whether a person is alive or not. Therefore, you should not look at photographs of the deceased too often. You also can’t overdo it with their quantity on the walls, shelves and tables. Do not hang near portraits of living people; separate living and dead energies. The best place to store it is a photo album.

Photographs taken during the funeral carry much more negativity. It's best not to do them. But, if there are already photos, it is better to destroy them. It doesn’t matter what is depicted there - a coffin, a cemetery, the funeral process, they are a strong source of necrotic energy.

When to clean the apartment

While the deceased is in the house, you cannot clean or take out the trash. Otherwise, another person in this house may die. According to legend, the person who cleans will sweep or wash it out of the home.

You need to clean it up immediately after removing the coffin. The floors are swept and washed after the deceased at a time when those mourning their last journey have already left for the cemetery. They do this to immediately sweep death, illness, and grief out of the house.

Moreover, such light cleaning cannot be done by the blood relatives of the deceased. It is better for them to have less contact with the emanations of death, so that the deceased does not take his loved ones with him. Even pregnant women do not clean up after the deceased. Usually one of the family friends is asked to sweep and mop the floor. Only he must remain in the apartment after the coffin is removed. After this, the person joins the mourners at the wake, but is not present at the cemetery.

Some things are especially strongly imbued with the energy of death. So, the stools or table on which the coffin stood are taken outside for several days and left there with their legs up. This is done in order to get rid of this energy. The apartment has a balcony.

Be sure to take away from the house everything connected with the mournful ritual. These are the remains of fabric for upholstering the coffin, wood chips from it, as well as other ritual paraphernalia, except for a portrait with a black ribbon, a glass of water and a piece of bread. All flowers brought by mourners are supposed to be left at the grave - they are intended for the deceased.

The instrument used to take measurements for the coffin is also not left in the house; it brings death to another resident within a year. Nothing is taken from the coffin. The ropes that tied the hands of the deceased, the pennies that lay in front of the eyes - all this should remain in the coffin. The candles are taken to the cemetery, as is the grain in which they stood. It is also impossible to keep an icon that stood in front of the coffin. They float it down the river or take it to church.

When can you clean up after a funeral, if the question is general cleaning or putting the deceased’s room in order? At any time, but after the funeral or removal of the coffin. If you open mirrors at the same time, they should also be washed. If you decide to keep them closed for 3, 9 or 40 days, save that for later.

Is it possible to make repairs

Repairs can be done after a funeral, but only once it goes away 40 days after death. The soul of the deceased visits from time to time to see how loved ones live. She would like to see a familiar environment; changes can anger the spirit.

After 40 days, at a minimum, you will have to replace the bed on which the deceased slept, as well as the bed (sofa, floor or staircase covering, chair, etc.) that became the deathbed. The bed of a dead person cannot be used by his bloodline. It can be given away or sold. There is no need to install a new bed; use the freed up space as you see fit.

The place of death will continue to exude necrotic energy for several years. Therefore, it is necessary to replace everything that came into contact with the dying person, be it the floor covering where he fell, or furniture and bedding. As a rule, such things are thrown away or burned. In the villages they do things a little differently - they take them to the chicken coop for three days so that the rooster “sinks away all the negativity.”

Personal belongings of the deceased, as a rule, are distributed to the poor or sold. This doesn't just apply to clothes. Your favorite cup or plate, ashtray, anti-stress toy - you shouldn’t keep it all. Although many leave it in memory of the deceased.

What else should you not do after the funeral?

You cannot do laundry in a house where a person has died. This ban applies as long as there is a coffin in the house. That is, after the funeral you can start putting your clothes in order.

Is it possible to swim after a funeral? Superstitions recommend doing this at the same time you decide to remove the fabric from reflective surfaces. That is, immediately after the funeral, three, nine or forty days. In the old days, people washed only on the 41st day after death.

Among the things you should not do after a funeral are noisy holidays. It is not advisable to hold celebrations within 40 days. Birthday celebration It’s better to reschedule or cancel altogether. But you can celebrate it modestly, with your family, without loud music or noise.

The nine-day, or better yet, forty-day ban also applies to weddings, but here everything depends on the emotional state of the relatives of the deceased. In addition, a wedding is a pre-arranged event associated with high costs. If you are having a wedding before forty days have passed since the death of a relative, during the celebration you need to mention this and pay tribute to the memory of the deceased. Weddings are allowed at any time.

Many people believe that travel and travel are among the things that should not be done after the funeral of a loved one. This is not true. They will help to distract you, but while traveling you should avoid various entertainment activities. Don't forget to remember the deceased and pray for his soul during the holidays.

In addition, the relatives of the deceased are not allowed to sew or cut their hair for forty days. If there is a need to repair clothes, you will have to do it. But tailoring that is not urgent should be postponed. The same goes for haircuts. Do bangs interfere with your daily activities? Get rid of it. But if it’s about changing your image, do it after forty days.

The same amount of time for the family of the deceased you can't drink alcohol. Perhaps the ban is due to the fact that grief is an accomplice of alcoholism. But funeral signs also prohibit drinking at funerals. The reason is that alcoholism is a sin. Relatives can pray for a sinful person for forty days. If they sin during this time, it will only complicate his afterlife.

After the funeral they go only to the wake, and from there they go home. You can’t go to visit, otherwise death will come to that house. You can go on a visit or on business only the day after the funeral and wake. Funerals are also the ninth and fortieth day, and after them this prohibition also applies. You also cannot go to celebrations that take place in public places - birthdays, weddings.

They don’t go from wake to wake. If two deceased people are commemorated on the same day, choose the one who is closer to you. But you can say goodbye to several dead people, support relatives, and express grief. During funerals, they do not visit the graves of relatives and friends. This time you came to only one deceased person, and visiting others will be considered disrespectful.

Church opinion

There are many beliefs that are supposed to be observed after a funeral. This will help protect against necrotic energy, diseases and other troubles. In addition, some signs are aimed at improving the afterlife of the deceased and cleansing him from sins.

Good afternoon, Valentin!
The main signs say that during a funeral it is especially forbidden to:
Throw living flowering plants after the coffin on the way to the churchyard and already on it. Anyone who steps on the branches will receive damage.
Pick up flowers thrown on the ground during the procession. With this voluntary gesture you accept a bad fate.
Gnaw seeds and spit. Dental problems will appear.
Sing songs and have fun (unless, of course, the deceased left special instructions in this regard). Offend the soul of the newly deceased.
Pick up any object dropped on the ground.
Voluntarily go down to the grave, even if you dropped something very valuable. Consider that you have paid for some sin and rejoice. If you go down, you will certainly die soon.
Standing at an open grave, balancing on the very edge. If you manage to fall into your grave at a funeral, you can say goodbye to life.
The burial procedure itself must be carried out carefully and without incident. However, sometimes various troubles happen that promise troubles in the future. This is what bad omens warn about during funerals.
If already at the moment of burial it suddenly turns out that the dug hole is clearly smaller in size, then this is a hint: the earth does not want to accept the remains of a sinner. There is nothing you can do about this - just remember. If the pit is larger, then another relative or friend will follow. It’s bad if the pit collapses during the burial process. This is a sign of new death. Moreover, a collapse in the southern part promises the departure of men, in the northern part - women, in the western part - children, in the eastern part - old people.
By the way, popular superstitions and signs strongly discourage pregnant women and children from appearing at funerals. The former run the risk of giving birth to a dead or sick child, the latter have too weak energy. Therefore, it is better to say goodbye to the deceased at home, and replace a trip to the cemetery with a less sad activity.
If we talk about Christian traditions:
During the preparation of the body, burial and for a certain period after the funeral, a number of rules apply, the violation of which, according to the Orthodox Church, is fraught with serious consequences. Here are some of them:
It is better to conduct a funeral on the third day after the death of a person.
You cannot bury the dead on Sunday or New Year's Day.
Immediately after death, all mirrors in the house must be curtained and the clock must be stopped. They must remain in this state for 40 days.
The deceased should not be left alone in the room for a minute.
It is forbidden to take the deceased out of the house before noon and after sunset.
Pregnant women and children are not advised to participate in the ritual.
From the moment of death until burial, the relatives of the deceased must continuously read the Psalter.
You can wash the body of the deceased only during daylight hours.
Pregnant women and those experiencing menstrual bleeding cannot wash the deceased.
Funeral clothes should be elegant and light, the shroud should be white. If an unmarried girl dies, she is dressed in a wedding dress.
In the house where the person died, a candle or lamp should burn until the funeral is over. It is better to use a glass with wheat as a candlestick.
You cannot wash, sweep or sweep away dust if there is a dead person in the house.
It is not recommended to have animals in the same room as the coffin.
In the presence of the deceased, they greet not with a voice, but with a nod of the head.
The eyes and mouth of the deceased must be closed. For this purpose, the lower jaw is tied with a scarf, and coins are placed on the eyes.
A corolla, a long strip of paper or fabric with prayers and images of saints, is placed on the forehead of the deceased.
It is imperative to put a cross on the deceased.
Together with the body, all his personal belongings are placed in the coffin: dentures, glasses, watches, etc.
The hands of the deceased should be folded on the chest in a cross. Moreover, place the right one on top of the left one.
The feet and hands of the deceased must be tied. Before burial, the ties are removed and placed in the coffin.
Cotton pads should be placed under the head, shoulders and legs of the deceased in the coffin.
The heads of deceased women should be covered with a headscarf. Also, all women present at the funeral must have a hat.
It is forbidden to put fresh flowers in the coffin, only artificial or dried ones.
The coffin with the deceased is carried out of the house feet first and is accompanied by church hymns.
When taking the coffin out of the house, you need to say: “The dead man is out of the house,” and lock the people there in the house or apartment for a few minutes.
After removing the coffin, all floors must be washed.
Blood relatives cannot carry the coffin and lid.
From the beginning of the ritual until the moment of burial, there should be a cross in the left hand of the deceased, and an icon on the chest, placed with the face facing the body. The image of the Mother of God is placed on the chest of women, and the image of Christ the Savior is placed on the chest of men.
You can walk around the coffin with the deceased only at the head, bowing to him at the same time.
During the funeral service, there should be 4 lit candles around the coffin: at the head, at the feet and at the hands.
The funeral procession should proceed in strict sequence: cross, icon of Christ the Savior, priest with a candle and censer, coffin with the deceased, relatives, other participants with flowers and wreaths.
Everyone who meets the funeral procession must cross themselves. Men are additionally required to remove their hats.
When saying goodbye to the deceased, you must kiss the aureole on his forehead and the icon on his chest. If the coffin is closed, they are applied to the cross on the lid.
Everyone participating in the funeral procession must throw a handful of earth into the grave.
On the day of burial, you cannot visit the graves of other relatives or friends.
It is not recommended to look at the coffin with the deceased from the windows of a house or apartment.
After the funeral, the relatives of the deceased should present those present with pies, sweets and handkerchiefs.
The chairs on which the coffin stood must be placed with their legs up during the day.
At funerals, the only alcohol served is vodka. You need to drink it without clinking glasses.
During a wake, a glass of vodka is poured for the deceased and covered with a slice of bread. After the wake, a glass of bread lasts for another 40 days.
Kutya must be present at the funeral table. The funeral dinner begins with her.
Before entering your home after a funeral, you must clean your shoes and hold your hands over the candle fire.
After the funeral, you cannot visit guests for 24 hours.
The morning after the burial, relatives and friends should take breakfast to the grave.
For a week from the date of death, nothing should be taken out of the deceased’s house. The belongings of the deceased can be distributed no earlier than 40 days after burial.
For 6 weeks after the funeral, in the house where the deceased lived, there should be a glass of water and a plate of food on the windowsill.
It is recommended to plant viburnum on the graves of young men and women near their heads.
One can only speak well of a deceased person.
You shouldn’t cry and be sad for the deceased.
See here for more information.

The death of a loved one is a relatively sudden phenomenon, because in most cases no one expects it. When this happens, many people are often indignant and confused, not expecting such a turn of events. That is why it is so important to know in advance about some principles and norms of behavior when there is one in the house, so as not to aggravate the already unenviable situation of his loved ones.

It is believed that a person who ties knots in rags at the moment when the coffin with the deceased is taken out of the house brings damage to the family of the deceased!

How to behave in a house with the deceased

In the house, the deceased should not talk loudly, much less laugh.

Relatives of the deceased should curtain all mirrors, since it is believed that a mirror is an otherworldly portal in which the soul of the deceased, who is at that moment in the house, can get lost. In principle, there is a more sensible approach to this: you should close the mirrors only so that it does not distract anyone. In addition, it is not very pleasant when the coffin with the deceased is reflected in the mirror.

Mourning begins immediately after and is accompanied by robes of dark or black tones. You should not wear light-colored clothing at this time. Everyone determines for himself how long he needs to remain in a state of mourning. This time has no clear boundaries.

While in the house with the deceased, it is necessary to remove all silver jewelry and things from him. If the deceased was a believer, then it should be placed on his neck.

You should not place a glass of water (or vodka) covered with a piece of bread near the portrait of the deceased. According to legend, the soul of the deceased will never come to this glass, but only demons.

Relatives of the deceased should wash his body only during daylight hours. The water used for washing must be poured into a specially dug hole in a place where people do not walk.

While it is in the house, there is no need to do laundry. This is considered a bad omen. Also, you should not allow someone to sit on it while the coffin with it is in the house.

If someone is afraid to be in the house with the deceased, he should be advised to overcome his fear by holding the feet of the deceased for a while.

Everyone who came to say goodbye to the deceased must remove their hats before entering the house.

The coffin with the deceased, as well as the lid from the coffin, cannot be carried to the relatives of the deceased. It is believed that in this way one can provoke another grief in the family.

Sooner or later, each of us becomes a participant in a difficult but necessary funeral ceremony. Regardless of whether you are a close relative of the deceased or your presence is just a tribute to the rules of decency, it is necessary to cope with emotions and behave correctly at the funeral. If you know the basic rules of funeral etiquette in advance, it will be easier for you later to choose the optimal model of behavior.

Below are a few mandatory rules:

1. Wardrobe. Of course, a funeral is not an event at which smart clothes are appropriate. Give preference to dark tones. Women must have their heads covered. Have several clean handkerchiefs with you.


2. Conversations. In all places of the funeral procession, loud or excited conversations are not allowed, and even more so - laughter is strictly forbidden. It is incorrect to make comments or criticism about the deceased, his relatives or the nuances of organizing a funeral.


3. Help. If you notice that someone is on the verge of an emotional breakdown, offer. Sometimes it is enough to provide; or, on the contrary, to provoke conversation and provoke tears. In some cases, you may be able to secure medical care in a timely manner. Sometimes there is a need for physical assistance when removing the body of the deceased, coffin lid, etc.


4. Tolerance. Relatives and close associates of the deceased may behave overly emotionally at the funeral. Sometimes breakdowns into sobbing and even screaming are possible. This should not cause a negative reaction from other guests. If you yourself find it difficult to restrain your emotions, it is better for them to come out in a secluded place or wait until the end of the public farewell ceremony


5. Wake. You should not show up to a funeral dinner without an invitation. You also do not need to take it with you to the funeral. In the funeral hall, you cannot occupy the place left for the deceased (as a rule, this is a place with clean cutlery, a knife and fork lying on a glass of water, with bread on top). You are not allowed to drink alcohol at a funeral.


6. Honor the memory of the deceased. Memories, condolences, mournful speeches and addresses are expressed in a civil farewell ceremony, at or directly to close relatives.

Whatever your status at the funeral, do not lose your composure. Wisdom and patience to you!

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Related article

Popular beliefs explain the smile of a dead person in a coffin in different ways. Some people say that this portends trouble, others, on the contrary, consider a smile on the face of a deceased person to be a good sign. In any case, this phenomenon is quite rare and unusual.

Why is he smiling?

Pathologists do not see anything supernatural in the smile of the deceased. It is believed that in some people the facial nerves are pinched and the death throes frozen on the face are mistaken by loved ones for a smile. It is sometimes very difficult for make-up artists to give the deceased a peaceful look, so sometimes the expression on the face of the deceased can inspire truly mystical horror.

By the way, enterprising employees of funeral agencies are already offering a service called: “Creating a smile on the face of the deceased.” For an additional fee, a smiling relative will lie there, bringing peace to the souls of inconsolable relatives like: “Everything is fine with me, I feel good there.” When creating a smile, the pathologist uses 33 muscles on the deceased's face. The smile is recreated literally in detail. For this purpose, lifetime photographs of the deceased are used. Make-up artists use Botox, lifts, air makeup and muscle gluing. Apparently, relatives feel calmer when they see their loved one smiling.

True, sometimes the services of specialists are not required - everything happens by itself. And the ominous grin of some of the dead frightens all those present at the farewell ceremony.

Why does a dead man smile in a coffin: mystical version

There is a popular belief that if the deceased smiles in the coffin, this foretells six more deaths in the family. Why exactly six is ​​unclear. However, it is worth noting that families in Russia used to be large. Women gave birth 10–15 times. Infant mortality was high, and it was easy to die from a common cold. In short, life expectancy and the level of medicine in those days left much to be desired. If six people die in a modern family, then most likely there will simply be no one left.

I can say as a very close relative of the person lying in the coffin with a half-smile: No one died after this funeral. Five years have already passed and everyone is alive, so you shouldn’t take such signs to heart and wait for inevitable death.

However, it is also worth noting that there is an alternative interpretation, which is no less widespread among the people. It is believed that if the deceased smiles in the coffin, then he has already managed to fulfill everything that was intended for him in earthly life and goes to God with a clear conscience and an open heart. This interpretation is supported by an incredible incident that occurred on July 1, 2009, when Father Joseph of Vatopedi, one of the most famous elders of our time, the author of many spiritual books, died.

A simply incredible event happened - an hour and a half after his death, he smiled. The most amazing thing is that the elder experienced heart problems and died with a serious expression on his face, and an hour and a half later, the monks were surprised to find a reverent smile on his face, which in no way resembles an involuntary muscle contraction.

No one has yet figured out the nature of this phenomenon. In some cases, stories about facial muscle contractions do not stand up to criticism. In addition, many relatives noticed a phenomenon that really cannot be explained. While the deceased is lying in the coffin, there may be a smile or a grin on his face, which disappears without a trace at the moment when the lid is about to be closed.

Should you be afraid?

It all depends on what feelings relatives and loved ones experienced during the funeral, when they looked at the smiling deceased. For example, it brought me joy. I looked at the peaceful face of my loved one and sincerely believed that all the torment was already behind me, and he had found the long-awaited peace.

If someone was frightened by the smile of a dead man, and then he began to appear or often appear in a dream, then you need to go to church and talk with your spiritual mentor.

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Sources:

• In Novosibirsk they started making smiles for the dead for money
• Smile of the Athonite Elder